Volume 1, Chapter 11 – My First Class

“Now then, let us begin the Class Bestowal Ceremony. Since this is your first time, please follow my lead and pray. I will recite the ritual prayer, so all you need to do is pray sincerely.”

“Yes, I understand.”

We had been led to a small room in the back of the Temple.

Numerous statues were lined up on the altar at the far end.

Naturally, the largest one in the center was the God of Classs—otherwise known as that bald guy from the Devs—while the others were gods presiding over various domains.

Of course, they were all beautiful men and women, which only made the bald Dev stand out in an absurdly jarring way.

“Our God, who art in heaven.

Hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come.

Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.

Forgive the sins of thy obedient servant, Fiene Argentata, and grant unto her a new vocation.”

The Pope recited the prayer in a fluid, rhythmic tone. Then, he continued with the next words.

“To this individual—”

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In the next instant, the Pope suddenly raised his left knee to stand on one leg, then sharply thrust both arms out horizontally!

“Guh!”

I nearly burst out laughing, but I Managed to hold it back by clamping both hands over my mouth.

That was, without a doubt, the “Boon” pose. You know, the one that originated from a certain major internet message board. ¹

M-My abs!

I know. I know, okay? I know I shouldn’t burst out laughing during a sacred ceremony just because the pose looks ridiculous.

But the more I tried to suppress the laughter, and the more I told myself I mustn’t laugh, the more it surged up inside me.

Why are you raising one leg?! Old people or people with bad legs wouldn’t even be able to do this!

The Pope maintained the perfect Boon pose without the slightest wobble.

Since his back was to me, I couldn’t see his face, but judging by his tone from before, he likely had an utterly serious expression.

Imagining that only made the laughter surge up even harder.

——Please, hold on, my abs!

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I guess religious rituals have always looked strange to people who don’t believe in them, no matter the time or place.

But still! I want to ask the Devs! Why did you choose this pose?!

“May the protection of the Gods be upon you.”

As he said this, the Pope flowed straight from the Boon pose into a magnificent Jumping Dogeza ² A dramatic full-body kneeling bow/apology performed mid-jump for comedic effect. .

Then, the people around him moved in perfect unison, going from the Boon pose straight into their own Jumping Dogezas.

“Gufh.”

Oh, crap. A little bit of laughter leaked out. I hurriedly covered my mouth again to stifle it.

“Fiene-sama!”

Chris, who was doing a dogeza behind me, warned me in a sharp whisper.

If I opened my mouth, I felt like I’d burst into full-on laughter, so I threw my shame to the wind and went from the Boon pose into a dogeza.

I couldn’t bring myself to do the jump, though.

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I stared desperately at the floor, fighting the laughter.

The cool marble floor helped calm me down a little.

So I wouldn’t remember that horrifying sight just now, right… I should distract myself by thinking about delicious food.

Delicious food, right. Speaking of food, my mind drifted to Zarabia.

The lamb braised in red wine served at that high-end hotel dinner. Yeah, that was delicious.

The sautéed white fish from that restaurant overlooking the sea.

Right, the atmosphere was perfect with the scent of the sea breeze in the air, and the food tasted incredible.

Hmm? Fish?

Mushrooms?

Ah, crap!

Through the chain of association, I ended up remembering Viscount Mushroom.

At that moment, the last line of defense holding my abs together finally collapsed.

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“Pffft. Guh, kuku…!”

My abs! My abs hurt. My stomach’s in knots.

I was desperately suppressing my laughter, but my body was probably trembling all over.

And so, after enduring what felt like torture—staying in a dogeza while desperately muffling my laughter so nobody would notice—the Pope finally spoke to me.

“Lady Fiene. With this, you should have been bestowed a Class. Now, please stand.”

Urged on, I stood up.

Ah, I have tears in my eyes from laughing too hard!

“I see. You were granted a Class so wonderful that it moved you to tears. Congratulations. Now, picture your current Class in your mind and try saying it aloud.”

Prompted by his words, I focused on my Class.

Then, the word that naturally came to mind slipped from my lips.

“…Healer.”