Volume 1, Chapter 12 – An Incurable Disease?

Hello, everyone. I’m the novice Healer, Fiene Argentata.

…

…

…

How did it come to this?

I specifically wanted to avoid becoming a Healer.

Is it that after all?

Are the Classes obtained from forced events fixed?

Or did that bald old man from the Devs intervene to mess with me?

After that, the Pope, Chris-san, and everyone else at the Temple all took turns congratulating me on becoming a Healer.

Chris-san, for instance, congratulated me with tears welling up in her eyes and a sparkling look in them as she said,

“Fiene-sama. I was certain that the Gods would surely bestow the Healer Class upon you. Congratulations!”

Then, the Pope presented me with a silver rosary.

A large red gemstone was embedded where the cross intersected.

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It was a rosary made from a special Mithril called Holy Silver, blessed by the Holy Mother Goddess, and the red gemstone was said to contain the power of the Goddess of beauty and love.

Apparently, it was a kind of talisman imbued with holy power.

The large red gemstone stood out, but the design itself was simple enough that I could probably wear it as part of my everyday outfits.

After all, it was a perfectly holy attribute accessory.

Thanks to it, I feel energized when wearing it.

Still, holy rosaries are supposed to be a Vampire’s weakness… so was it really okay for a Vampire to be wearing this?

Now, I did make a donation to the Temple. I was told it’s normal to give about 1% of one’s assets, so I paid 30 gold coins.

Paying the equivalent of 1.5 million yen just to receive a Class I didn’t even want.

Grrr.

Just as I was about to leave the Temple, Chris-san was called aside by the Pope and they started talking in a corner.

An ordinary person probably wouldn’t hear it, but my Vampire ears are good.

Thinking that level of whispering would be easy for me to overhear, I ended up learning firsthand that some things are better left unknown.

“Now then, Holy Knight Christina. There is something I wish to ask of you.”

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“Something to ask… of me?”

“Yes. I want you to protect Lady Fiene, and to guide her. Can I count on you?”

“Of course. I intend to dedicate this sword to protecting Fiene-sama.”

“No, it’s not just that. I hear that Lady Fiene occasionally desires to drink your blood? And I’ve also heard she doesn’t drink anyone else’s blood at all.”

“Yes. That is correct.”

No, it’s not. It’s simply that I haven’t had the chance to ask anyone else.

First of all, how am I supposed to ask a stranger, ‘Please let me drink your blood’?

No matter how you looked at it, I’d come off as a complete creep!

“I see. As I thought, Lady Fiene is suffering from an illness.”

“Fiene-sama is ill?”

Wh-what?! Apparently, I’m actually sick.

“Yes. The name of the illness is Hematophilia. You might know it better as Vampirism.” ¹ “血液嗜好症” Literal: Blood Preference Disorder, but in this chapter, it had parody of fake fantasy medicine and misunderstanding comedy. I decided to choose Hematophilia.

“Vampirism?”

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“Yes. When one experiences an extremely strong psychological shock, in order to protect their heart from that shock, they develop a desire to drink the blood of a person they hold dear. It’s an illness where they eventually become unable to suppress that urge.”

“Such an illness exists…”

“Indeed. It must have been an unimaginably horrific, truly heart-shattering, terrifying experience. To escape that shock, she drinks the blood of someone precious to her, feeling their presence within herself and using that to find comfort and stabilize her heart. After drinking blood, didn’t Lady Fiene look somewhat relieved, yet also dazed?”

“Yes. I do believe she did seem both relieved and somewhat ecstatic.”

“Exactly. That is a typical characteristic displayed by Hematophilia patients when they drink blood.”

No, no, no, I was basically getting high.

“This illness will not be cured until the person overcomes that psychological shock. And that shock is likely—”

“Her deceased parents.”

“That’s it. And due to that shock, she likely developed the rare illness of Hematophilia. And on top of that, she likely developed the Chuunibyou common among kids her age. That is what I believe led to her statements about being a Vampire and regaining lost Vampire power.”

“Chuunibyou?”

“Yes. It is a mental illness mainly affecting boys and girls around 12 to 15 years old. Specific symptoms include viewing oneself as special or creating special character settings, becoming oddly strong-willed about justice, or conversely, acting tough or becoming pessimistic, among various others. One common trait is that sufferers tend to create overly dramatic narratives and settings for themselves. Famous symptoms include suddenly saying things like, ‘Ghh… it’s acting up again… the thing sealed within my left hand…!’ for no particular reason, or wearing an eyepatch without reason and saying things like, ‘Hmph. Those without the Evil Eye could never understand…'”

“I see, so when Fiene-sama frequently says she is a Vampire—”

“That’s it. Having suffered a strong shock and developed Hematophilia, she was driven further into a corner, and to protect her mind, she concurrently developed Chuunibyou and created those kinds of settings to stabilize her mind. “

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Chris-san looked pretty shocked, but I’m the one who just got diagnosed with Chuunibyou here, so if anything, I’m way more shocked.

Besides, that’s not even Chuunibyou! There’s definitely some other diagnosis for that!

“What… should I do?”

“If Fiene desires to drink blood, please don’t refuse her when she asks to drink blood. Chuunibyou tends to heal with growth, but Hematophilia does not. Hematophilia is a compensatory behavior, so it won’t be cured unless she overcomes the traumatic past that caused the shock. And even if she overcomes it, if blood-drinking becomes habitual, it may never be cured.”

“That’s horrible…!”

“Now, don’t fret. Since she is not a real Vampire, drinking blood is not a major problem. The important thing is that someone stays by her side and accepts her as she is, blood-drinking urges and all. At present, you are likely the most suitable person. The fact that she doesn’t drink anyone else’s blood means that Fiene is subconsciously seeking you.”

“But for someone like me… “

“Are you worried? But Fiene is deeply wounded as well, you know?”

When the Pope said that, Chris-san’s expression changed as if struck by realization, and she declared loudly,

“I understand! Your Holiness. Leave it to me. I, Holy Knight Christina, swear upon my pride as a knight and upon my Holy Sword Sesrumnir that I will protect Fiene-sama no matter what!”

Stop it! It’s super embarrassing when you shout stuff like that out loud! Besides, you’ve got the whole thing completely wrong!

We left the Temple and headed to the inn by carriage, and needless to say, during the journey, Chris-san was oddly gentle with me the whole way back thanks to the misunderstanding.

Someone, please tell me… how am I supposed to make this muscle-brained kukkoro onee-san understand that I really am a Vampire?