Volume 5, Chapter 14 – Even Bugs Have Their Tastes—?

We were guided to the State Guesthouse within the grounds of the Great Palace.

Right now, I am conducting an interrogation about Yihua-san’s love life in the room we were assigned.

By the way, the reason Yihua-san is here is because His Majesty the Emperor ordered her to serve as my lady-in-waiting and secretary.

“So, how far have things progressed between you and the General?”

If I can somehow play matchmaker and get the General and Yihua-san together, maybe she won’t feel the need to follow us around?

Yes, I am not doing this merely for fun; this is a carefully crafted, perfect strategy.

I don’t really know the details, but I believe this is what they call a “Chain Strategy” (*1).

To come up with such a brilliant plan… the soul of the legendary strategist Zhuge Liang must have descended upon me, making me the Modern-Day Zhuge Liang (*2).

“Eh? Um, Saint-sama?”

Yihua-san blinked, looking back at me in confusion.

“I told you, didn’t I? That I would help. Now, to do that, please confess everything!”

“Um, well… nothing has happened yet…”

Yihua-san answered in a voice so faint it almost vanished, looking terribly embarrassed.

“What?! What a waste! There isn’t a soul in the world who would turn down the affections of a beauty like you, Yihua-san. Surely not even the General!”

“No way! Someone like me…”

It seems Yihua-san is quite the shy type. I have the impression that women like this are deeply loved once they are finally noticed, but getting to that point is the hard part.

Know thy enemy and… what was it? (*3)

I forgot the specifics, but in order to devise a plan, I first need to understand the target.

“Then, what kind of women does the General prefer?”

“Eh…? Um, I don’t know.”

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Whoops. We’re starting from zero, then.

“Well, what do you usually talk about?”

“Eh? Um, occasionally, when I guide guests, I offer my greetings…”

What? At this rate, the General might not even recognize Yihua-san as a person.

“Um, Yihua-san. How long has it been since you fell for the General?”

“Ah, well. It’s been about three years…”

“What?! For three years, and he hasn’t so much as spoken to you?”

Yihua-san looked down, her face turning bright red with embarrassment.

No, no, three years is way too long!

Even peaches and chestnuts would have borne fruit by now!

I have to do something for her. I think there’s a saying that goes, “Life is short, fall in love, young maiden.”

“Th-then, what is it about the General that you like?”

“…”

Yihua-san remained looking down, shyly.

“I can’t help you if you just stay silent and fidget like that, you know?”

“…The way he is…”

“Eh?”

“Um… the way he’s strong, and big, and rough, and manly…”

Having said that, she looked down again in embarrassment.

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Yikes. I can’t relate to this. One wrong step and that’s a fast track to domestic violence, right?

As I stared at Yihua-san in shock, she uttered a bombshell of a sentence with a bashful expression.

“Um, the way the wild and big-built Lu Fei-sama looks at me with cold eyes! The way he scolds me! And then, being choked while he looks down on me! And then being treated like an object… Ah, how embarrassing!”

“Eeeeh…”

Seriously. Despite being such a beauty, this woman is a total M-type pervert.

Why is it that I’m surrounded by nothing but perverts?

“U-um, anyway, I’ll subtly guide the General so that he can talk with you, so do your best. I’ll be rooting for you!”

Though I said those words, I sincerely regretted prying out of mere curiosity.

◇ ◇ ◇

At the welcome banquet, we feasted on the court cuisine of the Red Sky Empire.

The following morning, led by Yihua-san, we headed to the plaza in front of the First Audience Hall to depart for Chi Tien.

The General and about fifty soldiers had already gathered in the plaza.

“Good morning, General. Everyone.”

“Yes. Ready? We’re moving out.”

I went out of my way to greet him, and that’s the attitude I get? Honestly.

“By the way, General.”

“What is it, Saint?”

“Where is the carriage we’ll be riding in?”

“Hm? A carriage? Such a thing is a waste; it would only slow us down.”

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“Eh?”

Um, is this some kind of harassment? I cannot read his intentions at all.

“I have prepared the finest steeds available. Choose whichever horse you like from among these.”

“Pardon?”

At the General’s signal, the soldiers brought forward about ten horses—all of them large and with magnificent coats.

“Every one of these is a first-rate steed. Any warrior would pay any price to own them. This one is called Shadowflash; it’s praised for running so fast it leaves no shadow behind. There are few horses that could perform as well as this one on a battlefield. And this one is White Falcon; it can run fast and leap high, just like a falcon. With this one, you should be able to gallop across the battlefield even if the terrain is rugged. And this one is—”

The General continued enthusiastically, explaining the merits of each horse one by one.

I see. Apparently, this wasn’t harassment at all; the General had provided us with the best horses possible.

But, you know…

“Um, General.”

“What is it, Saint?”

“Lumia over there and I can’t ride horses…”

“…Hah?”

“I’m saying, Lumia and I cannot ride horses. So, while I appreciate you providing such fine steeds, if we are to ride, we’d need someone to lead the reins for us. Moreover, there’s no way we could gallop at the same pace as you.”

“…”

“…”

An awkward silence flowed between us. The one to break it was Yihua-san.

“Saint-sama! My sincerest apologies! I shall prepare a carriage immediately, so please wait here for a moment!”

We watched as Yihua-san hurried away in a panic.

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Author Note

*1) A “Chain Strategy” refers to a tactic where multiple schemes are combined to achieve a greater effect. It doesn’t refer to one specific trick, but Fiene-chan’s “strategy” (lol) is just playing matchmaker, so it can’t really be called a Chain Strategy. One of the most famous examples is the one used by Pang Tong against Cao Cao during the Battle of Red Cliffs in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.

Cao Cao: “Ugh… my soldiers are too seasick… someone help!”

Pang Tong: “Hey! Yo! Yo! Mr. Cao Cao Yo! Chain the boats together Yo! If you fix them, they won’t shake Yo!”

Cao Cao: “Haha! As expected of Master Pang Tong! No shaking! No sickness! No more vomiting!”

Huang Gai: “Hmph, I’m fed up with Sun Quan-ngo. I’ll betray him and become Cao Cao-sama’s subordinate-ngo.”

Cao Cao: “There, there. Very well. Work hard now.”

Huang Gai: “Fool, Cao Cao is dead-ngo! (Sets his own boat on fire and performs a suicide attack).”

Zhuge Liang: “Ah, I’ve switched the northwest wind to a southeast wind so it burns well.”

Cao Cao: “Gah, all the boats are on fire! You tricked me! Pang Tong!”

Pang Tong: “(Smirk) Just as planned.”

In this way, three schemes—”chaining the boats,” “the fake betrayal,” and the “out-of-season southeast wind”—were combined to lead to the success of the final “fire attack.”

*2) “The Modern-Day Zhuge Liang” (Ima Koumei) refers to Takenaka Hanbei, a strategist for Toyotomi Hideyoshi during the Sengoku period. He is a different person from the famous Zhuge Liang (Koumei) of the Three Kingdoms.

*3) “Know thy enemy and know thyself, and in a hundred battles you will never be in peril.” A passage from the “Attack by Stratagem” section of Sun Tzu’s Art of War. It means that if you thoroughly understand both the enemy and yourself, you will not lose regardless of how many times you fight.

Translator Note

Okay, what the heck are these references?? I don’t know anything about Chinese!!!! (Although I’m Vietnamese)