Volume 1, Chapter 29 – The Poster Girl Vampire

It’s been a week since I became an apprentice at Jez Herbal Apothecary.

I’ve finally realized why the customers kept giving me bewildered looks. The first reason was my Japanese-style customer service smile.

Apparently, giving customers polished, professional smiles while serving them is something only high-end shops do.

So, customers who weren’t used to polite service were simply thrown off.

Since I had only ever been taken to high-end shops until now, I thought this was normal, but it seems I was wrong.

Secondly, it seems people were also massively shocked that the stubborn, hardheaded Jez-san would take such an absurdly beautiful girl as his apprentice and put her on customer service duty.

Yeah, well, fair enough. Thinking about it calmly, that was a predictable outcome.

After another week passed, long lines began to form at Jez Herbal Apothecary.

People who weren’t even injured started coming in just to buy Low-Grade Wound Salve.

Their goal, apparently, was to have me serve them.

Give me a break, you guys!

Why do I have to give “counseling” to people who aren’t even hurt? This isn’t a maid cafe or a butler cafe. This is a serious apothecary selling medicine!

And yet, every single time, they come in with stupid grins plastered all over their faces.

Once, I tried directing anyone looking for Low-Grade Wound Salve over to Shishou’s wife, but it had absolutely no effect.

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The persistence of these guys is terrifying.

Once they got forced into buying the salve from Shishou’s wife, they learned from it, and the next time they came in, they started saying things like, “I want to consult with you first before deciding what medicine I need, so please hear me out.”

And the first thing out of their mouths is always, “Hey there, Fiene-chan, you’re looking cute again today.”

Disgusting!

From there, they praise my looks, praise my clothes, ask about my hobbies, invite me to lunch, and ask about my plans for my days off.

While I dead-eye my way through all of that and brush them off, they eventually start talking about wanting some medicine to keep around in case they cut a finger or something, so I shove a Low-Grade Wound Salve at them and send them on their way.

Well, I suppose it’s better than the shop being deserted, but I don’t feel like I’m contributing much to sales with just Low-Grade Wound Salves.

I mean, they’re only 5 copper coins. That’s about 500 yen.

Should I just stop selling Low-Grade Wound Salve altogether? No, that wouldn’t work. They’d just buy some other cheap product instead.

Gununununu…

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“Shishou. Because of the weirdos forming lines, I can’t sell anything but Low-Grade Wound Salve, and business hours end while I’m still just trying to brush off the guys hitting on me. Can’t you do something about this?”

That night, I finally decided to bring it up with Shishou.

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By the way, Chris-san had already returned to her room. I figured if she heard this, she’d definitely start saying things like, “I’ll cut them all down.”

“Huh? So you’re saying those guys in line are buying medicine they don’t even need just because they want to talk to Fiene? In that case, shouldn’t you just stop entertaining them?”

“They’re technically customers, so I can’t really do that…”

“Look, dear. Your apprentice is in trouble, so help her out. Their only goal is talking to Fiene-chan. As long as Fiene-chan is at the counter, they’ll always call out to her. Even if I’m right there with her, they ignore me and line up for Fiene-chan, you know? It’s a real problem.”

“Then how about trying to sell them expensive medicine? They wouldn’t come every day if it cost them.”

“The problem is, the moment something costs a small silver coin, they immediately switch to asking for something else.”

“Ooh…”

Seriously, where the hell does that level of persistence even come from? If it were just one or two people, it would be stalking, but with this many people coming every day, is the Royal Capital really okay?

“But if I’m the one at the counter, my work won’t get done.”

“You’re right…”

“Alright, I’ve got it. How about you and Fiene-chan take turns at the counter? Once a line starts forming, Fiene-chan can go back to help you. How does that sound?”

I appreciated the suggestion, but was I the only one who felt like Shishou’s wife would just end up stuck at the counter the whole time?

Just as I was thinking that, Shishou opened his mouth with a look that said he’d just come up with something.

“No, that won’t work. For people like that…”

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◇ ◇ ◇

And this was the result.

“Welcome~! Consultations are accepted for the price of one small silver coin per minute~♪”

I gave them my best business smile.

I mean, these guys are idiots, right? Why are they still lining up for this? One small silver coin per minute—is this a legal consultation with a top-tier lawyer? That’s the equivalent of 60,000 yen for an hour’s talk. Isn’t that insane?

And yet, some of them are saying things like, “This is the best! As long as I pay, I basically get to talk to her as much as I want for free!”

No, no, no, no matter how you look at it, that’s messed up!

And another thing. Shishou, why do you even own such a cute piggy bank?!

And telling them to put the fee into this thing is way too damn manipulative!

Ugh, the exhaustion is hitting me way harder than usual.

I mean, this isn’t Apothecary training anymore, is it? This is customer service work—hell, at this point it might as well be underground idol stuff.

By the way, Shishou’s wife handled all the regular business, and since normal customers rarely come anyway, it didn’t cause any problems.

◇ ◇ ◇

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“…I didn’t think it would actually work.”

Seriously. I probably made about one gold coin in a single hour.

“Yeah, though I’m about twice as tired as usual.”

“…Well, they’ll probably realize how stupid it is and stop lining up eventually.”

“I hope so…”

As it turned out, that bad feeling of mine was completely right.

After about a week, it was like the customers themselves were drawing in even more customers, and new people just kept pouring in nonstop after that.

Wait. Isn’t this the kind of event flag that ends with me not being able to walk around town anymore?

Incidentally, Chris-san saw the line and complained to Shishou, asking why he was making me do nothing but customer service when I was supposed to be training as an Apothecary.

“Hmm? Isn’t a Saint who is beloved by the masses her true form?”

“Mmu? I suppose that’s true.”

And just like that, she completely bought it.

Hey, you muscle-brained kukkoro onee-san, aren’t you just a little too easy to convince?