Chapter 73

Chapter 73

"073"

Xiao Lancui arrived at the dining room, but Lu Ao was nowhere to be seen. Only three dishes and a bowl of soup sat on the table, covered with bowls to keep them warm.

The kitchen, the spare bedroom, the bathroom, and the terrace—all empty too. Xiao Lancui returned to the bedroom to grab his phone, only to find a fallen note in the hallway.

Not far from the master bedroom, it had likely fallen from the door.

Xiao Lancui picked up the pale pink note. The young man's handwriting was neat, stroke by stroke, it read—

"Sorry, brother. I was wrong."

The only thing that could count as wrong was not listening to him—not using his hands, but using...

Xiao Lancui lowered his eyes, glanced at the note again, and stuck it back on the door on his way back to the bedroom before changing clothes.

He dialed Lu Ao's number, and unsurprisingly, it rang from the living room sofa.

Xiao Lancui hung up, took off his scarf, and went out to find him.

He searched the neighborhood, and when he couldn't find him, he left the residential area.

On the first day of the new year, the streets were bleak and quiet. All the shops along the way were closed, and he'd walk hundreds of meters before running into another person.

Xiao Lancui stopped for a moment. He guessed Lu Ao wouldn't hide far, but it seemed Lu Ao was even more down than he'd expected.

A light snow seemed to have fallen in the early hours, leaving a clean, crisp smell in the air. Xiao Lancui pondered for a few seconds, then pulled out his phone and called a car.

He waited a while for the car to arrive on New Year's Day. The driver asked routinely, "Going to school even on New Year's Day?"

Then he laughed, "Makes sense. If I could get into City University, I'd be there every day too."

Xiao Lancui said nothing. The roads were clear, and they arrived at City University faster than usual. Xiao Lancui got out. The campus gate was shut, but a security guard was still in the booth. Xiao Lancui didn't have his student ID, but the guard just waved him through.

That face—one or two looks and you remembered it.

The campus was empty and quiet during the holiday. Xiao Lancui walked to the secluded area behind the school. The old, long staircase was swallowed up by the poplar grove. Spring was near, and a hint of fresh green was poking through the gray, dead colors.

Lu Ao was still dressed entirely in black, still sitting in the same spot as last time, hugging his knees, zoning out.

His dark eyes stared blankly ahead. When they met Xiao Lancui's gaze, they quickly lit up, then fell like a shooting star, sinking back into hopeless darkness.

He thought Xiao Lancui was a figment of his imagination.

Xiao Lancui suddenly smiled. The light, clear laugh was like a pebble breaking the still surface of a lake. Lu Ao's eyes went wide. He shot to his feet, but he'd been sitting so long his legs were numb and he almost stumbled. He wobbled twice before rushing over to Xiao Lancui.

A few steps away, the young man hesitated for a second, stopped, and didn't dare move closer. His dark eyes greedily drank in the sight of Xiao Lancui before lowering his head to stare at his shoes.

"Sorry, brother." He said it again.

Xiao Lancui nodded. "Yeah, you are." He took two steps to Lu Ao, reached out, and cupped his chin, tilting it up slightly.

Not much—the young man was way taller than him, so a slight tilt was enough to meet his eyes.

Lu Ao's pupils shrank violently, his chin staying obediently still, and he whispered, "Brother?"

Xiao Lancui studied the face right in front of him for a couple of seconds, then withdrew his hand and said, "I haven't had a drop of water since I started looking for you."

He frowned. "My stomach hurts from hunger."

Lu Ao's voice cracked with panic. "You haven't eaten! I made food and left it on the table—didn't you see it?"

"I saw it." Xiao Lancui tilted his head slightly, watching the worry written all over the young man's face. His long lashes fluttered. "But the puppy ran off. I couldn't eat."

Lu Ao swallowed. "I'm a puppy?"

"No." Xiao Lancui raised his hand, indicating the height difference between them. Up close, Lu Ao was really tall, and really built.

"At your size." The corner of Xiao Lancui's mouth curled up. "You'd be a large breed."

Xiao Lancui had smiled several times today. Lu Ao's throat went dry. He looked away. "Brother, are you not angry anymore?"

Xiao Lancui shot back, "When was I ever angry?"

Lu Ao said in a low voice, "I didn't listen. I went and did something I shouldn't have..."

At the mention of that, Xiao Lancui's fingertips turned slightly red. It was the first time anyone had...

He rubbed his fingertips together and said, "It was a bit sudden, but I wasn't angry—"

The man across from him suddenly looked up, dark eyes shining as they locked onto him. "Then in the future—" His tone was cautious. "Can we still do that?"

Xiao Lancui realized it—Lu Ao had been waiting for this exact moment.

The big dog wasn't dumb; he was actually quite cunning.

Xiao Lancui didn't dodge the question. He nodded. "Depends on my mood."

Lu Ao obediently followed Xiao Lancui home. The food was still warm, but he reheated everything anyway before letting Xiao Lancui eat.

Xiao Lancui's stomachache had been an exaggeration, but the hunger was real.

He chewed on the crispy pine nuts, a garnish on the squirrel fish. Lu Ao had taken the time to make such a delicate dish before his little "runaway"—that confirmed even more that it was deliberate.

Lu Ao kept adding food to his bowl. "Eat more, brother. I've gained twelve pounds, but you're still so thin."

Xiao Lancui didn't care much about weight. His body, like his original one, never gained weight no matter what he ate. Recently, he'd been getting proper nutrition and had nursed this body back to health.

He took a bite of the soft, fragrant rice, chewed it slowly, and asked a question he was curious about.

"Have you always been attracted to men?"

"Mm, yeah." Lu Ao took a mouthful of rice and answered vaguely.

Xiao Lancui nodded. "So when did you realize?"

A flash of a figure dozing under the bamboo grove passed before Lu Ao's eyes. He chewed his rice heavily. "Sixteen."

At sixteen, in Dali, one could marry and have children. In modern times, that was still a minor. Xiao Lancui picked up food from the left side of the bowl—his habit, always taking from the left without picking and choosing.

What entered his mouth was a refreshing, palate-cleansing lily dish, one he used to eat often. He chewed it slowly and asked, "How did you realize?"

"I had a reaction to a man's body."

Xiao Lancui's fingers tightened around his chopsticks. He was distracted for a moment before returning to the present and saying flatly, "Eat up. Stop piling food on my plate."

"What about you, brother?" Lu Ao pressed on. "Do you like men too?"

Xiao Lancui had pondered this question too.

He didn't dislike Lu Ao's kisses, even... but if it were someone else, man or woman, he couldn't even imagine accepting it.

He'd always hated any physical contact, except for that white-eyed wolf—and now Lu Ao was an addition.

Xiao Lancui shook his head, "I don't like men."

Lu Ao's face went stiff.

Xiao Lancui went on, "I like you." He casually picked up a slice of the lily he liked and gently set it in Lu Ao's bowl, "So I won't hate anything you do to me."

Lu Ao's face got even darker. He picked up the slice of lily, shoved it in his mouth, chewed it to bits in a few bites, and said in a low voice, "What if it was another man..."

"There's no 'what if.'" Xiao Lancui cut him off. "Eat."

Lu Ao chewed on air, took a deep breath, and wolfed down the rest of his meal. He set down his bowl and chopsticks. "So what are we to each other now?"

Since Xiao Lancui wasn't looking at him while he ate, he stared at him openly, his gaze like he wanted to swallow him whole.

Xiao Lancui had already made up his mind on the way there.

Since he'd already been intimate with Lu Ao and didn't mind doing it again, it was only right to give it a proper name.

He answered simply, "Lovers."

At six in the evening, Xiao Lancui booked a ride-share. Lu Ao walked him to the gate of the complex, watching him get in the car reluctantly, "A Lan, I'll get my driver's license in ten days. After that, you'll only ride in my car, okay?"

After Xiao Lancui said they were lovers, Lu Ao started calling him A Lan. The refusal was already on Xiao Lancui's lips, but faced with Lu Ao's expectant look, he silently gave in.

It was just a name.

Anyone could call him that.

Xiao Lancui nodded. "It's cold, go back now—"

His words trailed off into a sudden kiss. The young man bent down, stuck his head through the window, and planted a firm kiss on Xiao Lancui's lips.

Only then did he pull back, still bent over, grinning at Xiao Lancui through the window and waving, "A Lan, come home soon, I'll wait for you."

"Teacher, come back soon, I'll wait for you."

From a corner of his memory, a familiar phrase suddenly surfaced. After the car had driven a while, Xiao Lancui remembered.

It was before that siege.

That year, the Late Emperor had ordered him to patrol the city. Lu Ao had secretly escorted him for over a hundred li. With too many eyes and ears in the army, Xiao Lancui forbade Lu Ao from following any further. The night he drove Lu Ao away, Lu Ao held him and cried.

The god of war who terrified the enemy on the battlefield seemed, at that moment, to revert to that helpless youth.

He vowed over and over in his ear, "I'll kill him, I'll definitely kill him!"

He—was the Late Emperor.

Paper can't wrap fire forever. That he was Lu Ao's military advisor—the Late Emperor had eventually found out.

That patrol was a death sentence.

His robes were soaked with Lu Ao's tears, and the last words were whispered in his ear, "Teacher, come back soon, I'll wait for you."

"You have to come back safe."

He didn't come back safe. He was trapped by the enemy in that isolated city for months. It was Lu Ao who broke the siege and brought him back to the capital.

He'd forgotten that Lu Ao had once said to him, "Come back soon, I'll wait for you."

"Don't be shy, what era is this? Even the older generation is pretty open-minded these days." The driver's sudden words snapped Xiao Lancui back to reality.

Xiao Lancui looked up, "What?"

The driver, in his early fifties, smiled amiably, "You and your boyfriend. I've seen plenty of gay couples, it's perfectly normal. A person lives once—either they like women or they like men, nothing to worry about."

Xiao Lancui found his words strange, "Was I worried?"

The driver nodded, "You looked terrible. Don't worry, I won't spread it around."

Xiao Lancui understood—the driver was referring to Lu Ao kissing him just now. He nodded in thanks and didn't reply further, pulling out his phone and switching to the front camera.

In the lens, his pale face quickly appeared.

His complexion was indeed poor.

He had a good appetite today—ate a bowl of rice and drank a bowl of soup. His complexion shouldn't have been this bad.

Xiao Lancui gripped his phone tightly, meeting the eyes of his reflection.

Just now, just now.

He had confirmed it—if he could truly return to Dali, he would choose to go back to before Lu Ao met Qi Ying.

He was a demon.

His father hadn't been wrong. He always had been.

Xiao Lancui closed his eyes until the car came to a stop. The driver smiled and said to him, "Happy New Year to you and your boyfriend!"

He opened his eyes and got out of the car, replying to the driver as well.

"Happy New Year to you too."