Chapter 109

"You'll really be okay without Uncle?"

"..."

"You know Linda's in the room next door, right? If you need anything at night, you can go find her."

"..."

"And, um. Right, pay attention in your lessons. Eat properly. And..."

"..."

Edgar looked at his uncle with lukewarm eyes. Edwin had thrown Edgar under the bus early on and bolted.

Harold had no idea what look Edgar was giving him. He was too busy repeating from the top the same things he'd been saying all week.

"Uncle."

Unable to take any more, Edgar cut in.

"Uncle will get back as fast as — hm?"

"Edwin and I will be fine. So travel safe, Uncle."

In fairness, the twenty-three-year-old Count Bertholdt part of Edgar could understand his uncle's worry.

Even for Edgar, leaving small nephews behind at an unfamiliar house wouldn't be easy. It might feel like family to his uncle, but to Edgar and Edwin it was still a strange place.

But to eight-year-old Edgar, his uncle's fussing was just tiresome.

"Edgar..."

"And don't forget what Edwin asked for."

"Edgar..."

The attention and affection his uncle showed him was nice. Something Edgar had refused in the past.

But the attention of an uncle who had no choice but to leave his young nephews behind was a bit... much. That was separate from being worried about his uncle. Uncle wasn't even going down to the Bertholdt domain.

And Edgar had enough on his hands already just with his own memory. With his uncle trailing behind him, never taking his eyes off him, it was hard to think about the knife that had gone into his chest.

Or about Edwin, for that matter.

"I said I'm fine, Uncle."

Looked at another way, with his uncle carrying on like this, Edgar couldn't quite sink into his memories of the past either.

Was that a good thing? He didn't know. But Edgar had reasons to get his memory in order. He couldn't have stabbed himself, so there had to be a culprit. Maybe the same person who'd killed Uncle. He needed to remember what had happened in the Bertholdt domain at the time.

"But I think Edwin's a little sad Uncle's going."

Edgar palmed his uncle off onto the twin who'd made a run for it.

"He's just not showing it because you said you had to go. If you hug him tight, he'll be fine, I'm sure."

"Yeah? Edwin's..."

His uncle's eyes went suspiciously bright. He wasn't about to cry, was he?

Maybe it was the warm climate of the Reichnek domain, but his uncle had turned a little sentimental. Even so, out of love for him, Edgar wrapped his arms tightly around his uncle's leg.

Departure wasn't until tomorrow — and Edgar was starting to dread the scene tomorrow would bring.

"Uncle's grateful Edgar's being so grown-up."

"I am grown-up."

"Right, right."

Harold smiled fondly. A little sadly, too.

Edgar could just about read the feeling in his uncle's eyes now. He was probably thinking of Edgar's father.

His uncle stroked Edgar's hair and left, saying he'd go talk to Edwin. Only then did Edgar breathe out.

Life at the Reichnek domain wasn't bad. It was much better than he'd feared. Telling his uncle he was fine hadn't been a lie.

Edgar was genuinely, for the first time in a long while, settled. He hadn't even realized how anxious he'd been all this time. Probably because he'd been unconsciously sealing off the memory of his death, and had no way of knowing what was causing the unease.

Knowing the cause helped. Ridiculous as that was, it did. Not that being stabbed in the middle of the domain was something he was glad of, of course...

But Edgar was still alive, wasn't he?

The scattered pieces of memory were slowly slotting back together.

And that was exactly why Edwin felt strange to him. Edwin... what was Edwin expecting of Edgar?

If it wasn't expectation, then...

"Ah! Edgar!"

"...Hi."

"I already saw you earlier, what do you mean, 'hi'! I told you, Uncle Harold's going up to the capital tomorrow."

"Right."

Adelheid, having spotted Edgar, came running over. She fluttered a letter in her hand.

"A letter?"

"My brother's in the capital. I'm going to ask Uncle Harold to take a letter to him!"

Edgar nodded and pointed the way Harold had gone.

"Uncle went that way."

"Thanks!"

Watching that fiery red hair bound off cheerfully, Edgar sighed.

He shook his head. Nabi, who had somehow picked up on the young boy's mood, came over and pressed against him. The soft fur brushing his palm drew a faint smile out of Edgar.

"Is life hard on you too?"

Edgar laughed.

"I'm kidding. I'd still take being alive over being dead."

Nabi looked at him with mild eyes. Edgar knelt and wrapped his arms around him.

His chest ached, sort of. There was no real pain, but a memory once brought up didn't go easily.

"Uncle, and me. I want us all to live."

So no one would be left alone.

---

Edgar saw his uncle off at Arnmolt station.

Adelheid, who had taken to Harold without a trace of shyness from the start, bounced up and down and waved until the train disappeared. Edwin did the same.

Edgar dropped his hand the moment the train was far enough off, but couldn't take his eyes away for a long time.

Was he uneasy?

Of course.

But... no. He didn't know.

Edgar couldn't be sure of anything. His resolve wavered several times a day, and his mood swung back and forth.

The people of the Reichnek estate seemed to think it was because he'd been separated from his uncle, and reassured him that Uncle would be back soon. Edgar let them think what they wanted. It wasn't wrong.

"All right! Uncle said he'd bring back cookies, so let's go see the beach!"

Edgar had no idea what the connection was, but Adelheid announced it with gusto.

That was why he was grateful Adelheid was around. Seeing her bright smile still hurt every time, but unlike the version of her he'd known, this face was brimming with life, and he could focus on that instead. At least this Adelheid was smiling happily.

"Since we've come all the way to Arnmolt, let's go to a different beach!"

"A different beach?"

"It's not summer yet, so there won't be many people..."

Adelheid led Edgar and Edwin along. The twins, still not familiar with the area, tilted their heads, but the coachman and Linda got the children into the carriage.

Inside, Linda laid down the law solemnly.

"Miss, we only came out today to see Sir Harold off, so we haven't brought anything for swimming. You are not to go into the water."

"I know, Linda!"

Adelheid rolled her eyes and answered smartly. Not a reassuring reply.

Linda apparently thought the same, and snorted.

Sure enough.

"Miss! Miss!! The water's still cold!"

"I'm fine!!"

The moment they reached the empty beach, Adelheid kicked off her shoes and socks and bolted for the water.

The coachman scrambled after her, flustered.

"Oh, dear, you'll catch cold. Just your feet, all right?"

"Aw... fine, I won't go in!"

Even wearing a disappointed face, Adelheid was laughing happily.

Linda watched her worriedly but didn't leave Edgar and Edwin's side. Edgar looked at the sea.

The beach around the Reichnek estate was pretty and quiet too, but the sand was softer here.

"Oh, dear..."

Linda groaned. Edgar looked up. Adelheid, who had been splashing her feet in time with the incoming waves, had tumbled over. The coachman didn't know what to do with himself, but Adelheid was cackling.

"Young sirs. Stay here and play. I'll take a towel to Miss Adelheid."

Linda fetched a large towel from the carriage. Edgar hadn't known why there was a towel in the carriage, but from the practiced way Linda moved, he realized she had seen this coming all along.

Well — Adelheid, with all that energy, wasn't going to come all the way to Arnmolt and turn straight back home.

Linda spread another large towel on the sand. Edgar sat down on it carefully and watched Adelheid splashing water at the coachman. She hunched her shoulders when she saw Linda approaching, but the mischief in her didn't dim.

"She's got so much energy. Lucky her."

Edwin dropped down next to Edgar. Edgar looked at him. Edwin was watching Adelheid — who was refusing to leave the water on the grounds that she was already wet anyway — with a somewhat exasperated eye.

...It was strange, seeing that expression on Edwin's face.

Edwin pressed his palms flat to the ground, touched the sand, and pulled his hand back with a displeased look.

"Ugh. Sand."

A far cry from the boy who had gleefully built sandcastles with Adelheid on the beach near the estate. Edgar blinked slowly. Had Edwin disliked sand? There was no sea near the Bertholdt domain, so he wouldn't have known. But here too, Edwin had kept saying how neat the sand was...

Edgar reached out and picked up a handful of sand. Warmed by the sun, it was hotter than it looked. The grains slipping through his fingers were a lot like how he felt right now.

There was nothing he could be sure of, no future he could clearly picture. Even the past felt as remote as a mirage, and even Edwin, right beside him, felt like a stranger — was this the twin Edgar knew?

"Hey, Edwin."

"Hm?"

Edgar didn't take his eyes off his twin.

Edwin, who'd been glaring at the sand dust on his hand, finally looked over.

He waited for what Edgar was going to say. Steady eyes. Now that Edgar had called him, though, looking into those eyes, the words wouldn't come out.

He didn't know what he was supposed to ask Edwin. Only the vague sense that he had to ask something.

He couldn't do it while his uncle was there. Whatever answer he got, his uncle would notice the change in Edgar. And whatever Edwin said, Edgar was going to change.

...Why had Edwin asked him that question?

"Edgar?"

Of all the things about the future he could have been curious about, why what Edgar had been doing right before he came back?

No — had Edwin ever really been curious about the future?

Edgar had said he'd come back from the past, and Edwin had swallowed it whole without a single doubt. He'd offered to help right away, and every time Edgar had wavered, he'd steadied him.

Had Edgar looked that anxious even to Edwin? Had he doubted the things Edgar sometimes let slip about the future? Edwin. Had Edwin...

"Edgar!"

Edwin poked Edgar's shoulder, annoyed.

"You called me over. What are you doing? Why'd you call me?"

"..."

"Edgar?"

"..."

Edgar raised a hand and poked Edwin's cheek.

Not expecting a prank like that out of Edgar of all people, Edwin blinked at him blankly. Edgar raised his other hand, took hold of Edwin's other cheek, and pulled outward.

"Hey!"

"Just because."

"Just because?"

Edwin shook his head, trying to get out from under Edgar's hands, but Edgar held on stubbornly.

"...Edgar?"

Edwin, sensing something off, stopped moving.

Edgar wasn't pulling hard enough to hurt, but it had to be irritating. Even so, Edwin only blinked and studied Edgar's face. The mature blue eyes were the same as Edgar had always known them.

Which was to say... they were eyes Edgar knew far too well.

Blue as deep as the sea over there. Blue as clear as the sky. Blue as cold as a frozen winter lake.

The eyes of Edwin Bertholdt, twin brother of Count Edgar Bertholdt. The eyes of the quiet, clever brother who had let go of his childhood dreamy talk about magic but had still loved books, kept the top rank at the academy all through school, and been called the second coming of Albrecht Bertholdt.

That Edwin Bertholdt was in front of him now.

"Ah."

Edwin cupped his hands around Edgar's hands, still holding his cheeks. Because of the sand, they felt gritty instead of soft.

"Finally caught on, Edgar?"

"...Edwin."

"I don't know why you thought you were the only one who came back."

Edwin smiled bright as roses in summer rain.

"Sorry. You were so certain, I missed my chance to tell you."

Edwin slowly pulled Edgar's hands away. Then gripped them tight. There wasn't even time to register the pain.

Adelheid's laugh came from far off. The sound of the waves scattered.

"This time, I'm not letting you die."