Bonus Track: A Sisterly Fairy Tale

1

It was another day at Itsuki Hashima’s apartment spent gaming with Haruto, Nayuta, and Chihiro.

Their current choice was Catan, released in 1995: an epoch-making title that established Germany worldwide as a board-game juggernaut. Players compete to settle the fictional island of Catan, building roads and cities and developing their land. The player that reaches a prescribed number of victory points first wins.

“Two in a row!”

Haruto, the lord of Catan for two straight matches, let out a victorious war cry.

“Oh great, Prince Manwhore got me again,” grumbled Nayuta.

“You’re pretty good, Fuwa!” marveled Chihiro.

“Yeah, well, I’ve played a lot of Catan in my time. But you two sure put up a fight. If you got luckier with the dice, you totally could’ve staged a comeback.”

It was a close battle, the kind anyone could have won. Except for Itsuki.

“Ugh! You hoarded everything for yourself, man! What are you, Kad*kawa?!”

Haruto snickered at the sore loser near him. “You suck at negotiating, Itsuki. Who is ever gonna trade their whole resource set for one brick?”

“Ngh…”

Building roads and cities in Catan requires five different resources—wood, brick, wheat, ore, and sheep. These are generated by the land you control, or you can also haggle with other players to trade for them.

“Why didn’t you ever make me an offer?” questioned Nayuta. “I would’ve been willing to give you anything you asked for, plus some bonus sex.”

“You just answered your own question,” Itsuki replied dully.

“I see,” Haruto said. “Kind of like someone who passes on purchasing a DVD special edition because he lives in his parents’ house and already has too many X-rated body pillows and X-rated figures for the space he has, huh?”

“Oooh. That doesn’t sound like the same thing, exactly, but it kind of does, too…”

“Yeah, there are a lot of bonuses that sound really fancy but are kind of hard to deal with. I’d really prefer a soundtrack or drama CD over most things, actually…”

Before they went any further off topic, the doorbell rang.

“I think someone’s here, bro.”

“Yeah.” Itsuki got up and opened the door. Miyako was waiting there.

“Oh hey, Miyako.”

“Mm. Hi, Itsuki.” She looked at the shoes by the door. “Oh, Nayu and Fuwa are here? That’s perfect.”

“How so?”

“Well, there’s something I kinda wanted the help of an author for.”

After she went inside, she explained things to the rest of the group.

“…An original story for children?” Nayuta asked, cocking her head.

“Yeah. I have a friend in college who works part time at a day care center, and there’s going to be a community story-time event there soon. They can use the books on hand, of course, but she thought about giving the kids an original story to listen to.”

“Hmm… So you want to call upon some professionals for this?”

“Right.” Miyako nodded.

Itsuki gave this a skeptical look. “Hmmmmmm… How much?”

“Huh?”

“How much will I get paid?”

“You want money for it?!”

Itsuki gave the surprised Miyako an exasperated sigh. “Of course I do. If you’re asking a professional writer to make a story, you need to pay him appropriately.”

“Cheapskate!”

The straight, unadorned criticism made Itsuki blush, despite himself.

“I am not! Whether you’re my friend or not, I deserve to be paid fairly for my labor. Whether it’s asking a professional cook to make a box lunch for you, or a manga artist to draw something for a local newsletter, or a singer to join in on karaoke, or a carpenter to whip up a doghouse for you, or a comedian to say something funny at your next party, or a voice actor to do this or that character for you, they all deserve payment for that! Thinking you can get around that just because you’re a friend is an affront to all the world’s skilled laborers! I tell you, Japan needs to start thinking about paying people fairly for their talents—”

“All right, all right! I’ll just tell her no, then. It’s not a must-have anyway.”

“I’m fine with it. Especially if it’s Myaa asking.”

Itsuki’s eyes bugged out. “Wha… Kanikou?!”

“R-really?” Miyako smiled at Nayuta. “Thanks, Nayu!”

“Hee-hee! Leave it to me, Myaa!”

“I can join in, too.”

“You too, Haruto?!” a shocked Itsuki gasped.

“…Like, I don’t think it’s great to ask a pro to work for free just because you know him, but this is something for little kids, right? We’re light novel writers, not children’s book authors.”

“Hmm…” Itsuki scowled at this logic.

“Well, thank you very much, Fuwa. So here are the details…”

Itsuki stepped in before they could get too deep into this without him. “W-wait!”

“What?”

“I… I didn’t say I wouldn’t help,” he said, awkward and a little ashamed.

“You don’t have to,” Miyako replied, a little meanly. “I can’t pay you anyway.”

“Look, working outside my usual genre is good experience for me, all right?! It’ll help me polish my skills. I don’t need any money for it.”

“Itsuki,” Chihiro said, “you just don’t want to be left out, do you?”

“It—it’s not that!” a visibly reddened Itsuki said.

Miyako smirked. “All right. So you’ll join us, Itsuki?”

“Sure… And while this isn’t in my genre, this is gonna come from a creator working on the front lines of his field. I’m gonna create a story that’ll capture the attention of little kids all over the world!”

And Itsuki was already back to his usual arrogant self.

2

So Itsuki and his two author acquaintances agreed to help Miyako with the tale.

“There will be about twenty first- and second-graders at this reading,” Miyako explained, “about equal between boys and girls.”

Itsuki pressed his lips together and thought. “Hmm… A story targeting younger grade-schoolers…”

“Yeah,” Haruto chimed in, “we usually write for such a different audience, I’m not sure where to begin…”

“Really?” Chihiro asked.

“Definitely.” Haruto nodded. “With our work, the main target is middle-school boys. You can get an even younger audience if your work gets turned into anime, but no younger than age ten, I suppose.”

“I think that’s where my audience is, too,” echoed Itsuki.

“What about you, Nayu? I think you’re popular across a broader age range, right?”

Nayuta turned a quizzical eye to Miyako. “Hmm, I don’t really know, but I don’t receive too many fan letters from elementary school kids. If I do, it’s mainly from fifth or sixth graders.”

“You neither, huh?”

“Yeah,” Itsuki said, “Kanikou’s books have tons of characters and psychological exposition. The love and relationship issues probably go over a lot of kids’ heads.”

“You think so?” a doubtful Miyako asked. “Because if you’re little girl, I don’t think it’s weird at all if you’ve got a crush on someone.”

“True,” said Chihiro, nodding with confidence.

“R-really?”

“Wow… Girls sure are precocious…”

Chihiro gave Itsuki and Haruto a concerned look. “Well, I mean, that’s how I picture it anyway.”

“Around me, at least, I remember kids talking about who they liked all the time.”

Itsuki and Haruto looked at Miyako, mouths agape.

“…So while us boys were talking about lifting up skirts and taking poops and how big our dicks were, you girls were going on about love and romance…?”

“You women are scary… You’re on a completely different level of biology…”

“I…” Miyako paused, blushing under their fascinated gazes. “I mean, that doesn’t apply to everyone! I didn’t have my first love for a while, so…”

“Yeahhh,” Nayuta drawled, “when I was six, I think I still wanted to marry my dad.”

This visibly relieved Itsuki and Haruto.

“Kanikou…!”

“I’m kind of glad to hear that. And actually, back when she was in elementary school, I think my little sister said she wanted to marry me or something crazy like that. I guess it depends on the individual.”

“What’s so crazy about marrying your big brother?!”

“Geez.” Haruto winced. “Don’t get so pissed off about it, Itsuki. But we’re getting off topic. Either way, I don’t think we can write something in our style for little kids, so let’s think about something they would enjoy more.”

“Yeah. So maybe let’s look back on what we read when we were six,” Nayuta suggested.

The group retraced their memories.

“Age six, huh…? What did I read…?” Haruto put a hand to his chin. “I think I picked up Harry Potter in fifth grade, so… Really, I was probably watching anime and playing games more than reading books.”

“I don’t recall reading too many books that young, either,” Miyako said. “We had a few picture books at home, but I had more fun playing and stuff.”

“I had a lot of fairy-tale books at home,” Nayuta added, “so probably that.”

“Yeah, and I think I read a lot of biographies targeted for children. Like, Thomas Edison and Hideyo Noguchi and so on.”

Itsuki’s response surprised Nayuta. “Oh? You didn’t read fairy tales about little sisters or something?”

“What? I mean, are there any?”

“Um… ‘Hansel and Gretel,’ maybe?”

Itsuki admired this unexpectedly serious reply. “Ooh! That is a guy and his little sister, isn’t it?”

“And Cinderella had two stepsisters, right?” Chihiro said. “Wicked ones, but…”

“You’re right…! Maybe there are lot more little sisters in those tales than I thought. Now I’m a lot more interested. I’ll try reading some more when I have a chance,” Itsuki said with excitement.

“Wow. Even in fairy tales, you can always find your favorite trope…” Nayuta groaned fondly.

“But Itsuki, you didn’t love sisters like that when you were that young, did you?” Chihiro said with an edge of disappointment.

“Yeah. Besides that, I read things like Jean-Henri Fabre’s books on insects and Seton’s Wild Animals I Have Known. From there I got into juvenile literature…and when I discovered the sister thing in middle school, I dove right into light novels.”

“So,” Miyako concluded, “if you had never run into light novels, you might’ve been a normal book lover instead of this sister-obsessed nutcase.”

“Sounds like it…”

“Miyako! Chihiro! Stop looking so disappointed in me!”

“I love Itsuki just as he is, but I wonder what Itsuki as a young literary student would look like? I bet he’d have glasses, all cool and intellectual.”

“Ooh, I’d like to see that,” Miyako said, joining in. “Maybe wearing a kimono with a stand-up collar shirt inside.”

“Wait, what era are we in now?” moaned Itsuki.

“You’re a genius, Myaa! Itsuki, the turn-of-the-century intellectual version! If that version pinned me against the wall, I’d be so wet!”

Nayuta immediately started playing out the scene in her mind—Itsuki with his scholar’s cap, looming over a kimono-wearing Nayuta. The impact of his arm against the wall shook the fabric from her shoulders, leaving it loose enough to slide down and reveal her ample, heavy bosom…

“Ah! Oh my! What are you doing to me, kind student?!” she cried with a mixture of fear and excitement.

“Be not afraid,” Itsuki whispered sweetly in her ear. “Man was born for love…and revolution.”

“Tou-kyuuun!” (← The sound of her heart palpitating)

“The moon is beautiful tonight, isn’t it?”

“I want to be yours forever!”

“To be or not to be, that is the question.”

“Ohhh, I just want to gnaw on your dick…”

With a passionate kiss, the two of them melted into the sensual night…

“Weh-heh-heh… Hamlet, but sexier…”

“What is she hallucinating about…?”

Itsuki looked concerned about Nayuta. She was drooling now, spouting off nonsensical strings of words. But it wasn’t worth thinking about, so he ignored her and turned to Chihiro.

“By the way, what were you reading around age six?”

“Uh, me? Um… We didn’t have books at home, and I didn’t receive an allowance, so…”

“Oh…”

Itsuki felt a bit awkward for asking, but Chihiro gave him a happy smile.

“I was so happy to go to school and get my own textbook. I practically memorized that thing, I read it so many times. Not just the language arts book, but the other subjects, too. So much stuff I didn’t know… It was lots of fun!”

“Oh…?”

“……” “……”

Miyako and Haruto fell silent.

“That’s…heavy,” Nayuta whispered.

Itsuki, a kind expression on his face, took some bills from his wallet and held them out to Chihiro.

“Look… Here’s one hundred thousand yen. Use this to buy as much manga or novels or textbooks or picture books or porno mags as you want.”

“That—that’s fine!” Chihiro hurriedly replied. “I have an allowance and a part-time job now! I haven’t even read all the books in your room yet!”

“Oh… Well, you don’t have to turn it down.”

“You’re so nice to Chihiro,” observed Miyako. “Are you sure you’re not into little brothers instead of sisters?”

Itsuki flushed red. “D-don’t be stupid! If he was my sister, I’d give her my entire bank account!”

“Ah-ha-ha…” Chihiro laughed, looking a tad distressed.

“Still,” Haruto said, “it’s funny how all of us were exposed to totally different things as kids.”

Itsuki nodded. “Yeah. It’s fascinating to think about how the different backbones we grew up with connect to our different writing styles.”

“So what about writing this story? Maybe we could mix together the things we liked as kids?”

Nayuta found Itsuki shaking his head at her.

“No, you can’t make anything coherent just mixing a bunch of stuff together, I don’t think. We should probably each come up with our own story, then pick the one we like the best. How about that?”

“A competition, huh?” Haruto replied. “Yeah, if all three of us make one story, it could wind up like that one game of Once Upon a Time. Man, that sucked. It’ll be easier to work alone anyway.”

“Me against Itsuki and Prince Manwhore, huh…? You know I’m always up for a competition.”

“You’re on, Kanikou. So we’ll all work under the same conditions? No handicaps?”

“I better step up, too,” reflected Haruto. “How long do we have, Miyako?”

“Uh… Until this time next week, but…”

“Not much,” he said, resolute. “Not enough to spend on too much research anyway.”

“All right,” said Itsuki. “Let’s all come back here in a week with our stories.”

“Got it!”

“Roger.”

“…By the way, did your friend have any particular content requests?” Haruto asked.

“Well, anything…as long as it can keep a kid’s attention, I suppose. But she said not to use any complex vocabulary. And she wanted to have some kind of moral at the end they could learn from.”

“All right…”

“Something they could learn from…?” Itsuki thought about this. “That’s certainly nothing we usually have to think about.”

“No. This’ll be a good exercise for us.”

“Okay,” Miyako said. “See you guys in a week!”

“I’m looking forward to this now,” commented Chihiro.

3

That night, Haruto came back home to find his sister standing imposingly at the front door.

“You’re so late, big bro!”

“Huh? What, you needed something from me?” Haruto snapped back at her.

“N-no…! But I always tell you to let me know if you’ll be late, don’t I?!”

“…I forgot.”

This did little to improve his sister’s mood.

“Why do you keep forgetting these things when I tell you over and over again? What are you, stupid? Are you sure your skull isn’t empty?!”

“I’m not spending my limited mental energy on crap that doesn’t matter!”

“Are you telling me what I say to you doesn’t matter?!”

“Yep.” He nodded.

“Nnnngh…” she growled. “You’re so stupid! I hope you hit your head on one of your porn-game boxes and die!”

Haruto snorted at this affront. “Ha! Don’t be dumb. Porn games these days don’t use those ridiculously huge boxes anymore. They’re in plastic cases like everything else. Hitting my head on one won’t hurt at all!”

“I don’t care! You’re so weird, you pervy creep!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Haruto said, having had about enough of this. “…If that’s all you needed, I’m going to my room. I got some urgent work to do.”

“Oh really? Well, go do it!”

Haruto’s sister turned around and stomped away. He sighed as he watched her go.

…Ugh. Why couldn’t I get a cute little sister? She didn’t used to be like this in the past…

Then it occurred to him.

In the past…?

“Come to think of it… Wait, hang on!”

He called out to his sister. She turned around.

“What do you want, stupid?”

“Hey, remember back in middle school, when I—?”

4

A week later, the storybook competition kicked off at Itsuki’s place with the same group as before.

“Okay,” Miyako began. “Are we ready to get started, guys?”

“Uh-huh.” “Yep.” “Ready!”

“Who wants to go first?”

“I’ll go,” Itsuki said, printout in his hand.

“I know we’re competing,” Nayuta replied, “but I’m sure looking forward to your latest work.”

Itsuki grinned back at her. “Hee-hee-hee! I’ve got a good feeling about this one. It’ll grab the hearts of kids and never let go! Just you watch!”

“Whooo!”

The other four gave Itsuki a round of applause. Clearing his throat, he began to read through his papers.

“…Um, once upon a time, a brother lived happily with his little sister.”

“Called it,” Miyako interjected.

“Well, yeah,” he replied with a smile. “…One day, on the way to school, they saw a turtle-type P*kémon surrounded by several yokai monsters on the beach. ‘Oh man,’ the brother said. ‘Big brother,’ said the sister, ‘call the police! I’ll go watch the yokai for you.’ So the brother ran off.”

He was using a falsetto for the sister’s voice and everything.

“Once the brother was gone, the sister approached the yokai. ‘Stop beating up on those weaker than you,’ she shouted. ‘No way! Ha-ha!’ “What? Ha-ha!’ ‘Who do you think you are? Ha-ha!’ The yokai all just laughed at her and didn’t stop for a second. ‘Well, so be it,’ she said. ‘I’m gonna teach all you mean yokai a lesson! Transform!’ Taking a magic wand from her backpack, she shouted to the skies. Suddenly, her body was surrounded by light, as she turned into a pretty girl in a frilly, cute costume! Yes, she was Pr*Cure, a warrior of justice protecting the world from evil!”

“P-Pr*Cure?!” Haruto groaned.

“Heh-heh-heh! Well, if PreCur* is the protagonist, that’ll grab the girls in the audience!” Itsuki explained in as authoritative a voice as he could muster.

Nayuta was in awe. “Ooh, so that’s your strategy…! Even the most jaded little kid would have to smile at that!”

“Ha-ha-ha! Right? Let us continue!”

“I dunno about this…,” Miyako whispered. Itsuki wasn’t paying attention.

“‘Pr*Cure Punch! Pre*ure Kick! PreCu*e Uppercut!’ Bash! Bam! Boom! ‘PreCur* Elbow! *reCure Flying Knee Kick! P*eCure Dynamite Bomber!’ Thud! Whack! Slam! ‘Aiee! We’re done for!’ With a wave of attacks, Pr*Cure whipped the yokai in no time flat. What a strong fighter! Now it was time to kill them all!”

“You don’t really know the Pr*Cure series, do you, Itsuki?” Haruto asked, rolling his eyes. He had watched that show with his sister back in the day, keeping up with every season even as she grew out of it. To a dedicated fan like him, it was hard to accept Itsuki’s crude depiction.

“Huh? No,” Itsuki replied, not knowing any of this. “But they’re kids, right? They won’t care if it’s not exactly like the real thing.”

“You don’t think?” Chihiro asked.

“Do you think we can get away with that copyright-wise?” Miyako gingerly ventured.

“Of course! It’s not like we’re publishing it! You’ve seen how the walls of elementary schools are draped with kids’ drawings of A*pa*ma* and M*ck*y M*use and On* P*ece and D******n. If my story’s problematic, then so’s every grade school in this country!”

“M-maybe…but are you sure this will work? What about, um, your pride as an author?”

“Pfft! Right now, I am not a sane, stable, sister-minded novelist but an evil children’s entertainment creator willing to do anything to win! I’ll use any property I can—not as an homage, but as is—and I won’t pay a cent in royalties to JASRAC or anyone else! Whatever it takes to be popular!”

“An evil children’s entertainment creator…?” Chihiro murmured.

“I’m not sure I’d want children to read your work,” Miyako said, eyeing him carefully. “…But fine. Go on.”

“Sure… Once the yokai had been scared off, the little sister went up to the bullied turtle-type Po*émon. ‘Are you okay, little Poké*on?’ ‘Thank you, Pre*Cure. But what a pity! It’s the end for you now! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!’ Suddenly, with an evil laugh, the turtle Pokém*n diverted the sister’s attention long enough to grow to an enormous size. In another moment, it turned into…a gigantic monster! The turtle-type P*kémon was actually Go*zilla! ‘Graaaahhhhh!!’”

“You don’t know anything about God*illa or Pokém*n, do you?” Haruto asked.

“Huh? No… Um, so Godz*lla fired off a burst of five-hundred-trillion-degree breath at P*eCure. ‘God-zeeeee !’ it screamed. Pr*Cure was in big trouble now! But just then… ‘I’ll save you, my sister!’ With a shout, someone leaped in to protect the sister from danger. ‘*amen Rider Miracle Galaxy Barrier!’ Ba-daaaang! The mystery man flung out a really cool barrier to protect the sister from the flame breath. ‘Are you all right, Sister?’ ‘That voice… Is that you, Big Brother?!’ But he didn’t look like her brother at all. That figure, in a cool new fighter suit, was the superhero defender of justice, Kam*n Rider! Yes, her brother’s secret identity had been revealed!”

“God, you’re shameless!” Haruto shouted. Itsuki laughed back at his face.

“Ha-ha-ha! It’s a dream crossover between Pre*ure and K*men Rider! This’ll get the boys and the girls into it!”

“Yeah, what kid doesn’t like cartoons and action shows like that? I’m losing my mind with excitement! I feel like I could transform into Cure Ahegao Double Peace at any moment!”

“…You like this sort of thing, Nayu?” Miyako remarked, questioning Nayuta’s sudden enthusiasm.

“‘Godz*llaaaaaaaa!’ The furious G*dzilla once again spewed flame at P*eCure and Kame* Rider, but the two of them dodged it and went on the counterattack! ‘K*men Rider Beam! Ka*en Rider Sonic Boom! Kam*n Rider Psycho Crusher!’ Bweeeen! Fwooosh! Gwaaahh!”

“And you don’t know that series, either…”

“Oh, just let him have his fun,” Miyako said, resigned.

Itsuki’s flight of fancy continued awhile longer. It was weird, though. As slapdash as it was, it did feature foreshadowing and other classic literary devices, and despite all the ups and downs, it had a single coherent plot to it. Along those lines, at least, it showed he was an author worthy of anime adaptation. It also included a number of phrases like “Kiss kiss fall in love” and “I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was,” which, as long as you didn’t care about copyrights too much, could certainly catch the attention of the audience.

He even had an ending song.

“Let me go… Let me goooo… I can’t resist anymore… Let me go, let me gooo…”

No, his execution was flawless. (D*sn*y is actually terrifying, though, so the lyrics have been changed slightly for publication.)

Once he was finished singing, Chihiro, Nayuta, Miyako, and Haruto rewarded him with a smattering of applause. A bead of sweat rolled down Itsuki’s forehead, his breathing hurried. He had done it.

“Hmph. How was that?”

“Um, yeah… That was certainly a surprise, but it was actually kind of fun. I don’t know what else to say…”

“Yeah. I had no idea P*eCure and K*men Rider had that kind of secret…”

“That was a pretty complete story. There’s no way in hell we could ever publish it, but…”

Miyako, Chihiro, and Haruto sounded conflicted, despite their compliments. Nayuta, on the other hand, was honestly moved.

“Amazing, Itsuki! I could learn a lot from you. You never let copyright law faze you!”

“You better not learn from that,” Haruto quickly replied.

Nayuta then took out her own script. “I’ll go next. Itsuki went for an extravaganza of entertainment, but I devoted a lot more attention to the educational elements.”

“Oh? That’s a surprise.”

“Nayu educating us…?” Miyako glared at her. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Okay, guys, listen up! This is called ‘Kid Sperm’s Big Adventure.’”

“I knew it!”

“This story,” Nayuta continued, ignoring Miyako, “begins on a night seven years ago. A man and a woman were together in bed, naked and rubbing their bodies against each other. Okay, pop quiz! Which one of you kids knows what they were doing?”

“A quiz?! Ahh, you’ll help the kids think for themselves and keep focused! I wish I thought about that…”

Itsuki had high praise for this approach, at least. No one else did.

“Are quizzes really compatible with story time?” Haruto asked.

“…What was that?” Nayuta replied, ignoring him, too. “‘Pro wrestling?’ No, that’s not it. ‘Sumo?’ Mmm, no, it’s not that. Huh? ‘Gachimuchi Pants Wrestling?’ Why do you know about that, huh? No, that’s wrong, too.”

“…This one-woman show is kind of irritating me,” Itsuki said.

“Okay, the correct answer is… Sex! ”

With that high-pitched squeak at the end, Nayuta suddenly shifted voices into an educational video narrator tone.

“…Of course, the term ‘sex’ can take on a very broad meaning, but what this pair is doing involves the man inserting his genitals into the genitals of the woman in a standard sexual maneuver. This is known as ‘copulation,’ as performed in order to create children. When performed by animals, it is called ‘mating.’ When the man’s sexual arousal reaches its peak, nerves in the spinal cord react and instruct the penis to eject white seminal fluid from its tip. This is known as ejaculation, and with it comes a feeling of euphoria. By the way, the white fluid ejected from the penis at this time contains several hundred million sperm, small, tadpole-like things about sixty micrometers in length. And out of these millions of sperm, ejected from the guy’s pee-pee into the woman…was Kid Sperm, the hero of this story.”

With that introduction, Nayuta dove into the adventure of Kid Sperm, a plucky little guy who overcame the challenges in his (its?) way to reach the egg at the end of the road—a vast, spectacular roller coaster ride. This competition against millions of enemies was studded with examples of tender friendship, as well as painful separations—but Kid Sperm, undaunted, always pressed forward, his power symbolizing and celebrating the miracle of life.

This powerfully told story of majestic life, imparted through Nayuta’s superior storytelling skills, fully sucked in the audience. Before long, they were all Kid Sperm, tagging along for the quest.

“…And so this is exactly how each and every one of you was born—buoyed by the thoughts and dreams of several hundred million of your tiny friends. Your existence—the very fact you are here today—is a true miracle. The end.”

When Nayuta concluded, the room was silent for a moment.

“*sniff…*”

The only sound came from Miyako crying.

“What did you think of my story?” Nayuta asked a bit bashfully, since no one was saying.

“Nayuuuu,” Miyako blubbered, “that was so good! I’m a wreck! Those sperm, all those sperm—so deep, and warm, and…ohh, the sperm, the sperm…!”

“Ee-hee-hee! Thank you, Myaa.”

“…I… I hate to say it,” Itsuki said, “but I have to admit—that was good.”

“Really good,” echoed Chihiro.

“Even when she’s writing for children,” Haruto added, “that Nayuta Kani quality is still there…”

“Nya-ha-ha! I went with more of a direct message here since it’s for children, so I’m kind of embarrassed about it.”

“…Hearing something like this, I feel pathetic for relying on name-brand characters and stuff. Dammit.”

“Well, bro, your characters and dialogue were all ripped off, but I did like it. Good development.”

“Yeah,” echoed Haruto, “Nayuta’s story was pretty much a straight line to the goal, but with yours, there was never any guessing what would come next. If we had the kids vote on which they liked better, I bet it’d be pretty close.”

“Hmm… You think so?” Itsuki seemed a bit comforted, at least.

“Okay, Fuwa, you’re last.”

“Me?” Haruto scowled a bit. “It’s kind of hard to follow these guys…”

“What, lost your confidence?”

“Well…kind of. But I’ll read it off, I guess. Um, once, in a town in Chiba Prefecture, there was a brother who lived with her sister, who was seven years younger than him,” he admitted to Itsuki.

“Whoa, you too?!” Itsuki reflexively shouted.

“Why Chiba?” Miyako wondered.

“Don’t worry about it. So one day, when the two of them were playing video games together, the TV screen suddenly lit up, and then—”

Haruto’s story chronicled the two siblings as they got sucked into the world of games and worked together to venture through it. There was no transforming into P*eCure or Kam*n Rider like in Itsuki’s tale; in terms of personality or ability, they were both pretty middle-of-the-road. There were monsters, witches, and other things in their way, but no consistent foreshadowing throughout, making it seem a bit more cobbled together. For the work of a professional author, it felt kind of half-baked.

But:

“…And so the two of them became king and queen, and together they lived happily ever after. The end.”

“Huh.” “Hohh…” “Hahh…”

Itsuki, Miyako, and Nayuta expressed their admiration.

“That was kind of nice,” Chihiro said. “I liked it.”

Miyako nodded. “Yeah… I don’t know how to put it, but I liked it, too.”

“Y-you did…? Ha-ha. That feels kinda funny to hear…”

Compared to Itsuki and Nayuta’s tales, Haruto’s was clearly less of a complete package. But they could feel something pure in it. Something you couldn’t plan out or use your writing skills to make happen. It was the desire to entertain the audience.

“…Mmm… The plot events were ridiculous, and the characters were inconsistent…”

Haruto chuckled forlornly at the dissatisfied Itsuki. “Ha-ha… Yeah, I expected as much.”

“But… I don’t know. It just drew me in somehow. Did you really write this, Haruto? It’s way different from your usual style…”

It was a far cry from his workmanlike writing. This was written based less on skill and more on instinct and sense.

“Oh, I definitely wrote it,” he told Itsuki. “Or, to be exact, a younger me wrote it. I just edited it a bit.”

“A younger you?” Miyako asked.

“Yeah. This was actually a story I wrote in middle school for my sister, who was in first grade back then. Reading back, it’s embarrassingly childish, but she really loved it at the time, so I thought it’d maybe strike a chord with our first-graders here.”

Itsuki nodded, convinced. “I see…”

“But I doubt this is gonna work, huh…?” Haruto gave a tight smile.

“……”

Itsuki stared at him thoughtfully.

“I think your sister liked it because it’s the kind of thing a grade-schooler would like, isn’t it?” observed Chihiro.

“Yeah… She’d get so excited about the dumbest stories back then.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chihiro said, frowning. Haruto greeted this with a quizzical look but didn’t pry any further.

“Okay, so, um, which should we submit to the storybook session? Probably not mine, but…”

“Hmm… Between Itsuki’s and Nayu’s, I’d have to go with Nayu’s…”

“I agree, Miyako,” said Chihiro. “Oh, um, assuming we had to pick one, I mean.”

“…Aw, you don’t have to worry about hurting my feelings,” said Itsuki. “I think Kanikou beat me this time, too.”

Nayuta beamed at him. “I win this time, huh?”

But Miyako seemed somewhat concerned. “Hang on, though. I need to go check with my friend.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding and taking out her smartphone. The group watched her, unsure what would happen next.

“…Um, hello? Hey, it’s me… Yeah, about the story for your reading session… Um… It’s kind of sex education… I said, sex education! Would that be all right? …Huh? Um, specifically it’s about…uh…it stars a sperm… It stars a sperm! …But really, it’s so poignant, I promise! …How detailed does it get? Um, pretty detailed, I guess…? But it’ll make you cry! Really! ……Okay… Yeah… Right, true… Uh-huh… Uh-huh… All right. Sure. I’ll call you later.”

Miyako ended the call, then gave her friends a disappointed look. “Uh… I’m sorry, Nayu, but she wasn’t too keen on that story for the event. She said there was too much disagreement among kids’ families about when sex ed is appropriate to risk it.”

“Ooooh, yeah,” Haruto said.

“Oof. I didn’t even consider that.” Nayuta looked saddened but understanding.

“I guess there’s no getting around it,” reflected Miyako. “No matter how touching it is. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” she said with a smile. “I’m just glad all of you liked it so much.”

“So we’ll go with my brother’s story for the event—”

“No,” Itsuki said, cutting Chihiro off.

“Huh?”

“Hngh!” With a grunt, Itsuki grandiosely ripped his sheets in half.

“Hyah?!”

“Itsuki! Why are you ripping up your own story?!”

Itsuki sniffed at the audience. “Hmph… I can’t unleash this on the world.”

“What do you mean? It was good!”

“…Listening to your story, Haruto, and then hearing that you wrote it for your little sister… That made me realize something.”

“Oh?”

“In the tale I wrote… I wasn’t considering the reader at all. I simply thought using popular characters and catchphrases would hit it big with kids, and I just kind of sewed it all together. It’s a pile of crap! It treats its readers like garbage! I can’t believe I let my drive to win force me into reading this junk in front of my peers!”

“Itsuki…” Concerned, Nayuta looked at her regretful boyfriend.

Itsuki instead turned to Haruto. “…Thanks, Haruto. Your love for your sister helped purify my soul. I’m free from the dark side now.”

“I don’t love my sister, dude!”

“You don’t? Because I kinda felt the love in your story, too.”

“You too, Miyako…?” Haruto blushed.

Itsuki wasn’t finished. “A story like mine, a bunch of trite elements with no love or passion to them… A middle-schooler beat it so easily, just because he was writing for his little sister! I have to learn from this. I’ve got to move forward in my pursuit of the ultimate little sister! I swear I will!” he declared with fire in his eyes.

“That’s the spirit,” cheered Nayuta.

“…I’m glad to hear that,” Miyako said, “I think. But what about the storybook event?”

“By the looks of things, it’s gonna have to be Fuwa’s,” Chihiro said as he eyed Haruto.

Haruto gave them a meek smile. “Uh… I’m sorry, but I gotta bow out, too. I really don’t think it’s the kinda story you can tell a large audience…”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.”

Chihiro gave him a soft smile back.

Miyako smiled, too, albeit with some disappointment. “All right. Well, I’ll have to break the news to my friend, then.”

“Sorry, Myaa.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“…Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Miyako said with a laugh. “I’m sorry you put up with our crazy request.”

So the competition for the storybook event ended with nobody’s work being picked. Miyako’s friend went with a book from their collection instead, a book that—much like the books of the pros who had competed—was meant for a wide audience, one the author didn’t personally know. In terms of quality, there was no comparing it with the tale Haruto revealed, written for a single person.

Still though, Chihiro couldn’t help but envy Haruto’s sister a bit.

5

“I’m home.”

That night, Haruto was greeted by his cranky sister at the door again.

“You’re late, bro!”

“Ugh, again?” Haruto scowled. “…I told you I was eating at Itsuki’s tonight.”

“Yeah, but… No!”

“Huh?”

“It’s about that… You know. That thing you wrote long ago…”

“Oh, that? We wound up not using it.”

“Oh…”

Haruto’s sister looked a bit relieved to hear. Her brother sighed a bit.

“Just because you still had that story in your room by some miracle, I really couldn’t just recycle my old work.”

“Hmph! Well, of course! You’d have to be a grade-schooler to enjoy something that stupid!”

“A grade-schooler like you, to be exact.”

“That…!”

The quick jab from Haruto made his sister blush.

“Because that story really was meant for you. There’s no need to tell it to anyone else.”

This made her blush harder.

“Wh-why are you giving me this sappy junk?! Of course there isn’t! I can’t believe you were dumb enough not to notice until now!”

“Yeah, yeah. It was shallow of me.” Haruto brushed her off like usual.

“Well, if you regret it…you need to write me another story!”

“Huh?! Why?!”

“I—I mean, I don’t want to read your stuff or anything, but it’d help me kill some time, at least!”

“Dumbass. I’m a professional writer, remember? Just because you know me doesn’t mean you get my services for free. Pay up.”

Itsuki’s tirade earlier turned out to be pretty handy for Haruto. It certainly had the desired effect on his sister.

“…What’s the deal with that? I don’t just ‘know’ you. I’m your sister!”

That inconvenient truth made Haruto turn his eyes away.

“………Pfft. Well. If I find the time.”

His sister smiled even as she yelled at him. “You better! Don’t forget!”

Watching her stomp away as usual, he couldn’t help but grin to himself…then sigh.

“Geez…”