Workplace Injuries

In a Gift Publishing office room in late February, a month after the All About My Little Sister anime announcement:

“Okay, that’ll do it for our regular read-through for today. Thanks a lot, everyone.”

With his usual calm manner of speaking, anime director Munenori Tarui finished things up. The rest of the people in the room—original creator Itsuki Hashima, GF Bunko editors Toki and Godo, scriptwriter Masahiko Hirugano, producer Tsutomu Oshima, and production assistant Kakeru Yamada—all said “thank you” in return.

For the past several months, they had been holding these script conferences for the All About My Little Sister anime here—and today, finally, they had a (tentative) final draft worked out for episode 12, the series finale. There’d be little fixes and adjustments to make going forward, but this was the last regular meeting, and thus the last time Itsuki as original author would be in up to his elbows in production responsibilities.

“Um… Do your best, okay?”

Tarui calmly fielded Itsuki’s request. “I’ll do what I can to live up to your expectations.”

There was a fierce resolve in his words.

Near ten o’clock that evening, after hanging with the anime staff at the izakaya near the editorial office, Itsuki returned to his apartment.

“Phewww…”

Leaning back into his chair, he heaved a sigh. The first stage of his anime-related work was complete. Now he’d just have to trust in Tarui and the rest of the group as he kept writing his novels.

Booting up his PC, he tackled his work in progress: Volume 6 of All About, due for release just before the anime premiere…but before he got down to business, he got up and went to the bathroom. Perhaps because of all the food he ate at the izakaya, he needed to go number two. Sitting down on the seat, he pushed…and with what sounded in his mind like a comic-book rrrrp! sound effect, he felt a sharp pain in his anus.

“~~~~~~~~?!”

Resisting the urge to cry out, he looked into the toilet, trying to figure out what was up. He saw red—a bright shade of red, mixed into the edge of the bowel movement he just plopped in there. It was now starting to stain the rest of the water.

“Ahh…?!”

The sight of it made him yelp out loud. Intellectually, he understood what a “bloody stool” was, but this was his first experience with one, and the shock of seeing blood come out of his rear end was monumental. Gingerly, he used a wad of toilet paper to wipe between his cheeks. There was fresh blood on it.

Is this some kind of bad disease…?

He had been busy ever since the anime project kicked off, making it hard to keep much of a regular schedule. If sickness had chosen this moment to strike him, he couldn’t blame it. The names of several creators who died young from illness—including Kasuka Sekigahara, who had his deepest respect—flashed across his mind, draining the life from his face.

…You have got to be kidding me…! I still have so much I need to do. I have a drive to surpass Nayuta Kani. I have a dream to create the ultimate little sister, far into the future. And I have to make Nayuta Kani, my beloved, happy. If something happens to me, what’ll happen to her? Just imagining that scares me. I can’t let myself fall apart right now…!

Exiting the bathroom, he launched his web browser, breaking into a cold sweat and shaking from fear as he Googled “bloody stool cause.” The search led him to a site with a list of causes divided by stool and blood color, pain location, and other symptoms. Based on Itsuki’s experience, the most likely conclusion was a case of bleeding hemorrhoids.

“Oh… It’s just hemorrhoids…?”

There was slight relief in his hushed voice. But he couldn’t be fully sure just yet. He decided to stop working while seated that night and arranged to have the doctor check him out in the morning, just in case.

Still not fully consoled, he took a shower and quickly went to bed, but had trouble sleeping between the nightmares.

“Yes, you have a bleeding hemorrhoid.”

First thing the next day, the doctor at the proctology clinic gave Itsuki the diagnosis. There was no need for surgery; the problem would likely fix itself in a few days, but he was advised to refrain from sitting down for hours at a time.

Relieved that it was nothing too serious, he received a topical cream and some pills and headed home. There, he felt the urge once more, headed to the toilet, pushed, and had that same rrrp of pain and blood in his toilet bowl.

“Aaah…!”

He knew it wasn’t serious but having to deal with this pain during every trip to the bathroom was rough. The visuals were bad for his heart, too.

Hoping it’d heal sooner than later, he used the handheld showerhead to wash his rear end. For hemorrhoids, it was apparently good to not just wipe, but use the shower to thoroughly clean everything down there, although you didn’t want to use the high-pressure function, of course. He wound up extending the shower to the rest of his body, just to feel a little better.

Out of the bath and toweled off, he applied the hemorrhoid cream to his rear and had just finished changing when his lover came in. She quickly noticed that his hair was wet.

“Did you take a shower, Itsuki?”

“Yeah.”

“Weh-heh-heh! I’m glad you were so keenly preparing. If that’s what you were waiting for, then let’s get—”

He stopped her before she could begin disrobing. “Wait! No! Not for that!”

“Oh, don’t be shy! There’s no need for that anymore, you know.”

“I mean it! Just listen to me, you sex-crazed Deathmask! Yesterday…”

Itsuki hesitated to continue out of embarrassment, but Nayuta wouldn’t keep her clothes on for much longer if he didn’t, so he pressed on.

“I have hemorrhoids!”

“…? Hemorrhoids?”

“…I had blood come out when I took a crap yesterday, so I went to the doctor this morning and they said it was a bleeding hemorrhoid.”

This seemed to boggle Nayuta’s mind, strangely enough.

“I… Itsuki… Did—did Prince Manwhore pop your butt cherry…?!”

“No, you dumbass! Hemorrhoids are kind of like a workplace injury for writers. This was bound to happen sooner or later.”

“Yeah, you are pretty much sitting down all day…”

It made sense to Nayuta. One primary cause of hemorrhoids is a lack of proper blood circulation; staying in the same position for hours on end can cause congestion in the veins around the anus, leading to symptoms. Other causes are a lack of exercise, overwork, stress, smoking, and drinking—and looking back at Itsuki’s lifestyle as of late, smoking was the only box he didn’t check.

“What do I say…? Get well soon, I guess?”

“Yeah,” Itsuki said, nodding with a sigh. “I wrapped up my last script meeting yesterday and I’m pretty good deadline-wise, so I think I’ll take off work until I get better…”

This made Nayuta’s ears twitch.

“Then why don’t you go to a hot spring?” she asked, cheeks flushed and looking ever-so-slightly excited.

“A hot spring, huh? Yeah, they say that’s good for this. Guess I could head to Hakone again…”

He had gone there with Haruto and Setsuna last September. It was both one of Japan’s main hot-spring towns and a mere ninety minutes or so from central Tokyo, so it was an easy trip to make.

“Hakone! That’s good! Let’s reserve a hotel right now!”

Itsuki frowned at the giddy Nayuta.

“Wait. Were you intending to go with me?”

“Of course I am! Nya-ha-ha… My first hot-spring trip with you, just the two of us!”

“……”

He did want to take her on a trip sometime. But this was going much too fast. He wasn’t mentally prepared.

“…Are you okay with work?” he tried asking.

“Just fine!” she replied with a smile. “I can work at the hotel!”

“……”

“No, really! I’ll bring my Pomera and everything.”

“Hmmm…”

He kept staring at Nayuta doubtfully, and she kept smiling, unfazed. He couldn’t outlast her.

“…All right. Let’s do it. Hakone it is. Just the two of us.”

Nayuta’s cheeks were blushing just a little bit as she beamed at him with heartfelt joy.

The hot springs in and around Hakone were classified into twenty or so different types, each with their own mineral compositions and purported medical effects. All of them, generally speaking, were apparently effective against hemorrhoids. This meant any hotel with a hot spring would work fine, really, but they picked one with an exclusive hot-spring bath in the room, at Nayuta’s request.

Itsuki’s last trip was a simple overnight affair, but he wanted to bathe several times to heal up, so they went for two nights this time.

Once the reservations were in place, Nayuta went back to her apartment to pack. They then met up at the rail station, taking the train to Shinjuku and staying long enough to pick up box lunches before grabbing a couple of first-class Romancecar seats to Hakone-Yumoto Station. From there it was a ten-minute cab ride to their hotel.

The Japanese-style room with bath they were led to was larger (and more expensive) than the one he’d shared with Haruto last time, featuring a bigger TV and a mini-fridge packed with goodies.

Opening the sliding doors, they looked out at the balcony to find a cypress bathtub filled with hot water. It wasn’t that big, but still more than enough for two people. The mountains of Hakone were spread out in front of it, and there was a pretty river at the base. They could hear the sound of running water.

“Ahhhhh…” The sight of the bath made Nayuta melt. She turned to Itsuki. “This is such a nice bath, isn’t it? Let’s go in, Itsuki!”

Her nose was twitching with excitement, and Itsuki blushed.

“Uh, let’s start with the big public bath first!”

“Aww,” Nayuta griped. “…But all right. We can have our own fun later, hee-hee-hee…”

She had been suitably placated. Before long, they had both changed into yukatas and headed for the gender-segregated public baths.

The baths had two large tubs set at different temperatures, a sauna, a cold bath, and a shallower tub for lying down in. Outside were baths exposed to the elements, as well as one in a large cauldron, a wooden box with heavy steam pouring out of it, and other unusual variants.

After washing off, Itsuki soaked in the regular bath for a while, then decided to take the wood-box steam bath, a novelty to him. The box was reminiscent of a coffin that you sat down in, keeping only your head above water. If you shut the lid down over it, the effect was kind of like having your decapitated head on public display. It felt bizarre as he sat there, staying still, but he could feel the steam gradually warm his body.

Hey…this feels pretty good…

It was like a mist sauna for one, and while Itsuki couldn’t stand saunas, he felt he could stay in here for a good while.

After about ten minutes, he got out and walked over to an outdoor bath, followed by the cauldron and a lie-down tub. It may’ve just been his imagination, but he felt like his butt was doing better now. The larger baths could be used anytime between two PM and ten AM the following morning, and he wanted to use them at least a few more times.

Changing back into his yukata in the locker room, he could feel the steam wisping off of him as he left. There he saw Nayuta in her yukata, taking advantage of a massage chair in the front lobby.

“Nyaaa-a-a-a-a-ah, I-i-i-i-i-tsuki-i-i-i…”

When she noticed him, she called for him as the chair kneaded and loosened her entire body.

“Hey. Sorry to keep you.”

“No-o-o-o, I just got out mysel-l-l-l-l-l-lf.”

“Oh? Felt good, huh?”

“Yeah-h-h-h-h. How’s your butt fe-e-e-e-e-e-eling?”

“I dunno yet, but I think it feels better.”

“That’s go-o-o-o-o-o-od.”

She closed her eyes, mouth half open in ecstasy as the chair tossed her around.

“Does the massage feel that good?”

“Nya-a-a-a-a-a-aah, I think my muscles were really ti-i-i-i-i-i-ight.”

“Oh.”

He bought some fruit-flavored milk from the vending machine, enjoying it as he waited for Nayuta’s massage to end.

Once they went back to their room, they chilled out for a bit. The front desk let them check out game consoles for free, so they borrowed a Wii and played each other in Mario Kart for a while. At six PM they went to the hotel restaurant, smacking their lips at the sumptuous display for dinner. Itsuki wanted to have a drink, but refrained for the sake of his hemorrhoids.

After dinner, they found the staff had laid out their futons for the night, pushed right next to each other to create a perfect square of bedding.

“Well, Itsuki, do you want to hit the bath together?” Nayuta asked, anticipation in her eyes.

There was no way to delay this any further, so Itsuki just went with it. “…Yeah,” he said, nodding slightly.

Loosening their belt and removing their yukata and underwear, the two of them went out on the balcony, naked as the day they were born.

“Nya-ha-ha… Being naked outside like this seems so wrong, doesn’t it?”

Her hair was wrapped up in a towel as she bashfully spoke, her face reddening ever so slightly.

“Yeah,” Itsuki said, blushing a bit as well as they both stepped into the tub. They sat there, naked and just facing each other silently for a bit. The bath in Itsuki’s apartment was so tiny that he’d never used it with Nayuta before. He was familiar with her nude form by now, but his heart was racing faster than usual nonetheless. The everyday act of bathing seemed so incredibly special when Nayuta was with him.

“Um, you don’t have to stare at me that hard…” Nayuta looked a tad embarrassed.

“Y-you’re the one who said we should go in here.”

“I know, but…” She ducked down, putting half of her head into the water and blowing some bubbles before coming back up. “It’s funny… This seems more embarrassing to me than when we’re having sex.”

“…Me too. What a coincidence.”

“I guess taking a bath is one of the most private things you do in your everyday life. The only thing more private would be the toilet, I guess.”

“…I guess so.”

“Sharing it like this, I think, means that your partner’s accepted one of the most personal aspects of your life. That’s why I’m so embarrassed about it, and nervous, but I’m really happy, too…”

“…Yeah, I think I know what you mean.”

Itsuki agreed with Nayuta, as bright red as her face was.

“Ahh, am I really allowed to be this happy?” she whispered, almost to herself, a rapturous smile on her face.

Itsuki was so charmed by her in that moment that he had to keep from blurting out “Will you marry me?” as he turned his face away.

Once they were out of the tub, they had a ribald, high-volume slam-bang in the futons, then fell asleep.

Itsuki was up at five the next morning, so he decided to go for a morning bath. His bowel movement after breakfast was somewhat painful, but not bloody.

“Whoa…! Hot springs really work…!”

Whether it was just the proctologist’s medication doing the trick or not, this was a meaningful experience for him.

He took another bath after that, and then they went out and visited the Hakone Venetian Glass Museum. After lunch, they went to the town of Hakone-Yumoto and munched on local specialties like hot-spring steamed buns, fried onion sticks, and shiokara croquettes.

They were back at the hotel by two PM, where they went back into their private tub, played games, hit the larger bath before dinner, hit it again afterward, hopped into their private one, and flirted with each other in assorted ways at length.

It was the first time in a while Itsuki and Nayuta had spent an entire day at total leisure like this. It was thus with a pleasant sense of exhaustion that Itsuki finally went to sleep—but apparently his brain was still overexcited, because he woke up in the middle of the night. Checking his phone, he saw that it was half past two.

He got up, figuring he’d take advantage of this and enjoy an early-morning outdoor bath—but then he realized Nayuta wasn’t next to him.

“…?”

Looking around, he saw a faint light coming from the balcony, past the sliding door. Maybe she’s in the tub out there, he thought. But when he focused his ears, he could hear the taka-taka-taka sound he was intimately familiar with—fingers against keyboard.

…Kanikou…?

Dubious, he stood up and took a peek out from behind the sliding door. There, with her silver hair and pale skin, dimly lit by a single light bulb, was a naked Nayuta Kani, seated on a chair and rhythmically typing on her Pomera compact computer at a steady rate.

As expressive as she usually was, there was no emotion on her face now. Her blue eyes stared straight at the screen and nothing else as she tapped away.

Nayuta had told him before that she couldn’t write novels unless she was nude. She had composed a bit on her smartphone while she was in the hospital, but didn’t make much progress—she couldn’t focus, she said. This, right now, was Nayuta Kani’s preferred work environment, Itsuki presumed. For the first time, he saw her as a novelist.

But this…

“Focus” doesn’t even begin to describe this…!

Every hair on Itsuki’s body stood on end. A cold sweat ran down his face.

Several times, he had experiences where he’d make unbeatably rapid progress on a scene, or he was so focused on his prose that he tuned out everything else. Most writers had, he thought. But that was nothing like Nayuta right now. Her face was blank, robotic, and she kept the exact same typing tempo going for what seemed like forever. She wasn’t on a hot streak; she wasn’t focused. It was more like a sci-fi version of a Ouija board—words were being beamed into her head, and she was outputting them into a text file. Like an oracle going into a trance and reciting the words of the gods, some divine overseer of novels had taken over Nayuta’s body, using it to make her write out a story.

No wonder her books were so good. They were literally divine revelations.

The sight was so beautiful, so mystifying—but to someone in Itsuki’s occupation, incredibly frightful.

—A novelist like this… Someone who’s channeling the words of the gods… How am I supposed to compete against that?

His body began to tremble, an unconscious smile forming—the smile of someone about to admit defeat, realizing he could never beat this writer.

Grrrrrr…!

But Itsuki banished the smile, biting down hard on his lip. He could taste blood in his mouth.

I won’t let this break me. I swore I’d stand alongside Nayuta Kani. I’ve decided to become the protagonist. And what kind of protagonist can’t slay a god? I can’t think of any other real way to do it apart from building and growing my experience, but as long as I don’t give up, I’ll never lose.

His eyes brimmed with tears as he watched his greatest love, his most powerful enemy—but he smiled brazenly all the same.