Silly Ass

It was the middle of March, and Itsuki was working in his apartment when Setsuna Ena paid a visit. Setsuna, under the pen name Puriketsu, was a professional illustrator; he did the art for Genesis Sisters of the New World, Itsuki’s second series, and they had been hang-out buds ever since.

Aw man, Itsuki’s head told him, I got a sudden guest, I guess I’ll have to abandon work for now… I really wanted to work, but I can’t just ignore my visitor… Ooh, I was soooo getting into it, too…

He continued to mutter along these lines to himself as he picked out Battle Line, a two-player card game modeled after historical combat in ancient times, and started playing with Setsuna.

“…So you still runnin’ from your editors?” Itsuki asked as he scoped out his cards.

Setsuna laughed and shook his head. “Oh, not at all! I’m just back from a plain old prep meeting with the edit team today.”

At the moment, he was doing illustrations for SILLIES, a series by author Yohei Kitagata. In addition to playing on the English word “silly,” it was also a pun on shiri, the Japanese word for “rear end”—and as the plural suggested, Kitagata’s wacky rom-com tale featured ladies who exposed their asses a lot.

Setsuna was known widely for his tushie work—adding just that little extra jiggly touch to them—and Kitagata had all but insisted on him joining the project, declaring “only Puriketsu could do the illustrations any justice!” It worked out well, and the series was apparently selling rather nicely.

Volume 5 had come out almost a month ago, but the illustrations weren’t done until well after any agreed-upon deadline. It forced SILLIES editor Kenjiro Toki to track Setsuna all the way to Hokkaido, confine him in a local hotel room, and make him wrap it up in time. Itsuki had had a front-row seat to all of this as it unfolded, so he was aware how it’d panned out.

“Could you show me your ass for a second?”

Itsuki was too busy wondering where to place his next card for Setsuna’s sudden question to register with him immediately.

“…Huh? My ass…? …My ass?!”

“Yeah.”

Setsuna nodded solemnly at Itsuki’s wild scream.

“Why do I have to show you my ass…?!”

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like the end of the world or anything.”

“It’ll be the end of any pride I had in myself!”

“Look, all you have to do is stand here, face backward, and drop your pants for a sec. I’m just gonna look at your ass! That’s it!”

“No!”

“Okay, how about halfway down the crack?”

“Halfway…? That’s even more embarrassing!”

“Okay, then all the way!”

“No, how ’bout no way, man? …I mean, what’s driving you to ask me, even?”

He had to ask. Setsuna was awfully earnest about this.

“Well, you know, I think I’m falling into a rut.” The illustrator sighed, looking a little uncharacteristically discouraged. “Like, I’m having to draw asses all day and night for SILLIES, right?”

“Yeah. Some nice ones in the latest volume, too.”

SILLIES wasn’t really Itsuki’s cup of tea, there being no little sisters among the main cast. They were all the same age as or even older than the main protagonist. But he still bought and read each volume.

The sensuality of Yohei Kitagata’s prose, a talent he also exercised in his scripts for assorted adult video games, was enough even to excite Itsuki—and the asses on the heroines, as Setsuna drew them, had an overwhelming, magnetic effect on the viewer, regardless of their personal tastes.

“I like drawing asses and all, but now that I’m drawing nothing but asses all the time, I’m starting to, like, lose interest, and stuff. Or, like, the composition of my illustrations is starting to all look the same to me. It’s hard to drum up excitement for it.”

“Oh…”

Each volume of SILLIES featured a cover where one of the heroines’ ass cracks was visible, two or three pages of ass illustrated in color (involving several of the female cast), and six to eight pages of black-and-white ass, plus a few bonus illustrations meant as exclusive tie-ins with certain book or anime shops—all full of yet more ass.

“Mr. Kitagata pretty much leaves the clothing, the undies, and the art composition fully to me. Which is fine and all, but, you know, all this ass all the time, it’s hard to come up with new ideas… I don’t wanna draw the same setup twice in the same book, either, so…”

The amount of detailed instruction given to illustrators varied greatly depending on the editor or author, the illustrator themselves, and the story or situation being depicted. Sometimes the author would ask for exact perspectives and other details; others would just provide an excerpt from the manuscript to draw on. More than a few would name only a couple characters and leave everything else to the illustrator’s imagination, including clothes and positioning—then adjust their own writing to match the final art. No one way was more “correct” than any other; it was case by case.

For Genesis Sisters of the New World, Itsuki first talked with Toki about the situations and characters to illustrate (for scenes with a lot of characters in one place, they’d generally pare it down to a subset to depict in the art). For important scenes that Itsuki could picture clearly in his mind, he went into as much detail as possible in his instructions to Setsuna; otherwise, he generally left things in his hands. That was how Itsuki worked with all the other illustrators he had been paired with. His characters often tended to be described as having “long, black hair,” “comfortable clothing,” “battle-worn armor,” “noticeably large chests,” and other loosely defined features, sometimes leading the artists to offer feedback like “Please go into more detail with the hairstyle and clothing” or “You mention she has huge tits, but exactly how large are you envisioning?”

“…All right. I can see your problem. So how does that connect to me showing my ass to you?”

“I’m looking for more input, is all. I need to supplement my ass diet with new asses so I can get more ideas for them.”

“Your ass diet…? What, like taking supplements?”

Despite the jab, Itsuki saw the reasoning behind Setsuna’s thoughts. He needed good input in order to provide good output.

“But important though ‘input’ may be, how will my ass provide that? I don’t really see how.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Setsuna gave Itsuki an almost imperceptible smile. “But I really do need to beef up my ass diet, y’know? That’s the only way.”

“…?”

He smiled more broadly as Itsuki raised his eyebrows at him.

“So how ’bout we go look at some women’s asses instead, sir?”

Four hours later, Itsuki and Setsuna were at a hot-spring resort, not far from a town situated by the ocean. Not any normal hot spring, though—this one had an open-air bath that allowed both sexes to share the same water.

A net search along these lines had revealed a place that appeared to have an okay enough view and some decent food; one phone call later, they had a room booked with dinner and breakfast included.

The moment the two of them were guided into their room, Setsuna picked up a towel and the hotel-provided yukata bathrobe.

“Great! Time to scope out some ass!”

“What, already…? Can’t we chill out for a bit first? I mean, it wouldn’t be too late if we waited ’til after dinner…”

Despite his hesitation, Itsuki had somewhat similar motivations as his friend—he had hit a wall in his writing, and he needed to refresh and take in some more input. So he easily accepted Setsuna’s invite and came along with him, but mixed-gender bathing was a wholly unfamiliar experience. Even looking at the naked female body hadn’t been in the cards for him since puberty—well, okay, there was that one quick glance when Nayuta more or less streaked across his room after showering at his place—but otherwise, no.

“Aw, c’mon, sir, no wimping out now!” Setsuna laughed as Itsuki blushed back at him. “You have girls stripping naked in your novels all the time, don’cha?”

“Th-that’s not real life! And I’m not wimping out!”

“So let’s go, sir. We gotta hurry, or else the sun’s gonna set on us!”

It was approaching the evening hour, and the Internet reviews went on about how awesome it was to watch the sun set over the sea in your open-air bath. Missing that would be a waste of a good opportunity.

“Ergh… All right. Let’s go.”

Finally steeling his resolve, Itsuki followed Setsuna toward the hot spring. The changing rooms were divided by gender, and for that matter, so was the large indoor bath that greeted visitors before reaching the mixed-sex open-air springs.

“Hmm-hmm-hmmmm… Hm-hm-hm-hm-hmmmm…”

Setsuna was humming “High Pressure” from T.M.Revolution as he all but flung his clothes off his body. He was naked in record time.

“Whoa…?!”

Itsuki couldn’t help but stare openly at his frame. He was small, but cut, with a visible six-pack and everything. They were both the same height and shaped about the same when clothed, but in the nude, the difference was abundantly clear. With no abs or any other muscles to speak of, Itsuki was a weakling by comparison.

“…I feel betrayed.”

“Huh? What d’you mean?”

“…Nothing.”

Disrobed down to his undies, Itsuki tried sucking his stomach in as much as he could. No six-pack resulted. He had always been a bit of a pasty wisp of a kid, but living the author’s life of holing up in a room all day had served to make his skin look even more unhealthily pale.

“Hey, how long’re you gonna keep your undies on for? Let’s get going already!” Setsuna eagerly shouted as Itsuki considered signing on for a gym membership. He was doing an excited little dance, his junk bobbing up and down as he carried on. That, too, outclassed Itsuki’s by a notable amount. It didn’t cheer him up any.

“Ugh…”

Groaning dejectedly, he took off his underpants, deftly hiding his genitals under a towel to protect them from prying eyes.

“Okay, all set.”

“Sweet! Wow, sir, you really do have a cute ass.”

“H-hey! Don’t look at it, you dick!”

Itsuki hurried ahead along the trail, cheeks red, and in another moment, they were at the main open-air spring. The sun was right in front of them, hung low above the ocean horizon…

………………and there were so, so many women in the large bath.

Itsuki’s brain froze for several seconds.

They were naked, in the bath, and taking in the majestic view. About twenty of them in all.

As for their ages, they were……between the late fifties and the eighties, maybe?

They were “mature” women, yes, some beyond “mature” and straight into “granny” territory. No men whatsoever.

“Oooh, look at these cuties! Eee-hee-hee-hee-hee…” one of them purred upon noticing Itsuki and his friend. Her bust had to be close to forty inches, and her hips and rear end were just as well endowed. She was a living force of nature, weathered like a centuries-old tree.

“Oooh, you’re right! Young men like these are quite the rarity, eee-hee- hee-hee-hee…”

The twenty of them were all in the same group, and now all these wizened old powerhouses were staring right at the two newcomers. Itsuki tensed up, turning an eye toward Setsuna.

“Heya, ladies! That’s one damn nice view, isn’t it?”

Setsuna, on the other hand, wasn’t bashful at all. He smiled all the way, his friend swinging downstairs around in the air as he waded into the bath and toward the gaggle of elderly women. Itsuki had to respect that, but instead of joining him, he found himself scurrying over to a nearby washbasin, sitting down and showering as he spied on his friend.

“And where do you little boys come from, hmmm?”

“Oh, Tokyo, ma’am! How about you fine ladies?”

“Ohhh, myyyy, eee-hee-hee!” “‘Fine ladies?’ Well, I never, ohh-hoh-hoh!” “Goodness me, I don’t think anyone’s called me a ‘fine lady’ in at least five years, dah-hah-hah-hah!” “Five years? My stars, I think you mean fifty, meh-heh-heh!” “Too bad we’re all just a bunch of wrinkly old biddies, mmm-hmm-hmm?”

“Oh, don’t be silly! Pretty girls like you, you’re beautiful no matter how old you are.”

“Ooooh, it’s ‘pretty girls’ now, is it? Eee-hee-hee-hee!” “Oh, my, keep talking like that and you could make a woman fall head over heels for you, ooh hooh-hooh-hooh!” “What a cuuuute little boy you are, geh-heh-heh-heh!”

…Dang, he’s really something…

Itsuki, listening on from behind, shuddered.

“Say, um, I actually work as a professional artist for a living, but do you think I could maybe draw a few of you cute li’l ladies?”

“Ohh myyyyy, geh-heh-heh!” “Are you gonna draw me like one of those nuuude models? Oh-hoh-hoh!” “Well, go right ahead! I’ll take off anything you want me to for the sake of fine art, beh-heh-heh!” “You’re already naked, silly! Boh-hoh-hoh-hoh!” “Oh, right! Eee-hee-hee-hee!” “Ah-ha-ha!” “Meh-heh-heh!” “Hee-hee-hee-hooooh!”

“Cool, thanks!”

Feeling a sudden twinge of horror at this incomprehensible conversation, Itsuki quickly rinsed off, shot to his feet, and made a beeline for the exit.

“Huh? Sir! Hey, sir, what’s up?”

“I—I’m going to the men’s bath!” he shouted, not bothering to turn around as he left the mixed-gender spring behind.

Setsuna still wasn’t back in the room by the time dinner was brought out, so Itsuki ate by himself and started writing on his laptop.

“…I’m scared. I don’t want to die.”

For the first time since he became a Dark Knight, Sieg felt a true sense of fear.

This was the midsection of Volume 5 of Sisterly Combat. Sieg, the lone-wolf Dark Knight who was the tale’s main hero, had never lost his cool up to this point, no matter how desperate the situation—but now, faced with an enemy more powerful than any he’d stared down before, the fear of death had descended upon him. He would survive, if barely, but it was a major turning point for the story, one of its most important events.

“Now I know. I really know. Sieg’s anxiety! His desperation! His fear! His sense of utter defeat! I know it just as well… Sieg…is me…!”

Sieg was a character that Itsuki himself looked up to. That made it hard to convincingly depict him losing heart over his weaknesses or fears. But all Itsuki’s struggles with it seemed like a thing of the past as he blazed along with his writing.

He reached a good stopping point around two in the morning, a sleepy sense of achievement filling him as he slipped into his bed. Just as he did, Setsuna returned.

“Whew… Think I kinda overdid it.”

“…Uh, were you all right?” Itsuki tentatively asked.

Setsuna smiled back at him. “Oh, yeah! That was incredibly inspiring. I’m gonna draw some seriously fine ass now!”

“Yeah, I’m sure that was a lot of inspiration to take in…” Itsuki hesitated, before deciding he was too afraid to ask exactly what happened. “But, I mean, did looking at a bunch of gran— I mean, mature butts give you much to work with? The girls you draw kinda skew a lot younger than that.”

“Hmm? Well, hell, if I wanted to look at younger asses, I could just walk around the neighborhood and there’d be all kinds of women I could ask, y’know?”

“Oh, um… Yeah?”

Itsuki winced at Setsuna’s unhesitant reply. The idea of going up to an unknown woman on the street and striking up a conversation was so alien to him that the idea was hard to comprehend. Will women just show you their ass if you ask nicely? Like, for real? It can’t be.

“But, you know, it’s not every day you can look at the asses of those kinds of chicks all at once. Pretty lucky we were here the same night as that big tour group!”

The smile on Setsuna’s face was genuine, unclouded. He was being completely serious.

“W-wow… Uh, ummm, Mr. Ena?”

“Hmm? Hey, why so serious, sir?”

“No, I mean… Like, wow, you’re amazing…”

“Am I? Aw, thanks, man!”

He gave Itsuki a pleasant, if slightly confused, smile, then yawned and flopped into bed. It wasn’t long before he was blissfully snoring.

“Man… Puriketsu’s just unbelievable…”

In terms of the size of his mettle, as well as the size of his member, Itsuki was utterly defeated. He resolved to call him by his last name for a little while, out of respect.