The Sadist Returns

It was three days after Itsuki and Setsuna’s road trip to the hot-spring resort. For Itsuki, it was another day at his place, beavering away at Volume 5 of Sisterly Combat. He had overcome one major obstacle, but this volume still had a lot of serious plot events to cover, so now was no time to relax.

Haruto was there with him at the kotatsu heated table, drinking beer and reading on his tablet. A comedic manga, apparently, judging by the occasional bouts of snickering and laughing. It ruined Itsuki’s concentration.

“Hey, don’t you have anything to do? You’ve been coming here a lot lately,” he said, staring pointedly at Haruto.

“I got stuff, sure, but I’m pretty much past the brunt of it, I guess you could say. Volume 13 is done on my end, and I just finished up the novella they’re gonna include with the DVD and Blu-ray releases.”

“…Damn, moving right along, huh? …Tch.”

Haruto chuckled at Itsuki’s clear jealousy. “Yeah, I’m just glad I got out of the thick of it pretty early on. Like, seriously.”

“…?”

“Well, there’s two weeks ’til the anime starts running on TV, right? I’m really starting to get nervous about it.”

“Is it that bad?”

“I mean, the anticipation keeps building every day. If I had multiple deadlines to deal with at the same time as this, I’d freak out.”

Chevalier of the Absolute World, Haruto Fuwa’s novel series, would have its anime adaption air on TV beginning in early April. Haruto had been part of all the script meetings, cast auditions, and recording sessions so far, helping to actively promote the series in anime magazines and Internet streams. At this point, though, his anime-related duties as the original creator were done with; he just had to trust in the staff and wait for the broadcast launch.

“Oh, hey, how ’bout we all watch the episode one TV broadcast in here?”

Itsuki grimaced at Haruto’s suggestion. “Huh? Why do I have to watch your anime with you?”

“Aw, come on! I’m too nervous to watch it by myself. We’re close to the publisher here, so I can invite my editor Kawabe, too.”

“Ugggh… All right. So it’ll be me, you, your editor, Kanikou and Miyako?”

“What about Chihiro? I was thinking we could pick up our RPG campaign for a little bit before the broadcast.”

“Mmm, I dunno, we’re talking about a late-night anime broadcast on a weekday, so…”

“Oh, yeah, he’s still in high school, huh? He’s so much more put together than you, I forgot about that.”

“Yeah, thanks. I’ll invite him, anyways.”

“’Preciate it. Oh, man, I’m so nervous…”

Then the doorbell rang. Itsuki glanced at the clock, and his face stiffened.

“…Three o’clock… Guess it’s time…”

“Hmm? Did you have a meeting planned with Mr. Toki? You shoulda told me.”

Haruto assumed it was Toki, given how Itsuki clearly wasn’t looking forward to the event.

“…No, not him. Another pro. Someone you know.”

“Someone I know…?”

Some other writer working under the same publisher?

Glancing sidelong at the perplexed Haruto, the extremely nervous-looking Itsuki turned to open the front door. There, he found a blond-haired girl wearing an extremely frilly red dress.

“Helloooo!”

Tax accountant Ashley Ono flashed him a sadistic smile. Then she noticed Haruto inside. Her smile deepened.

“Hmm? Hmmmm? …Hmm!”

“Ah…gah… Aghhh!”

It was a whisper of a scream, as Haruto’s eyes blew wide open, fear plainly written across his handsome countenance.

“M-Ms. Ono, what are you doing here…?!”

“Well, I’ve finished up Itsuki’s tax return, so I’m giving him his receipts and a copy of the final documents. I didn’t think I’d find you here, though.”

“Ah, ahhh… I see…” Cold sweat poured down Haruto’s face. “So this was the ‘pro’ you meant? A ‘pro’ tax accountant?”

“Hee-hee-hee!” Ashley replied as she removed her shoes, clearly savoring Haruto’s reaction. “It’s been a long time, Haruto. I was expecting to have you as a client this year, too, so it’s a pity I haven’t gotten to see you. Hee-hee…”

“Oh, no, um, that…”

Haruto turned his eyes away from Ashley.

“Oh, you didn’t hire her?” a surprised Itsuki asked.

Haruto was the one who recommended Ashley to him in the first place when he had asked for help with his taxes, so he assumed that he went to her for this year’s return as well.

“…You asked me for a talented accountant, and I referred you to one. I didn’t say I used her myself,” came the awkward, soft reply.

Ashley grinned evilly at this. “Handling your tax strategy last year was so much fun. Itsuki was rather enjoyable himself, but that was nothing compared to you.”

The memories of about a month ago, when Ashley made him recite the names and content of his assorted pornographic video games and comics over an extended period of time, flashed back into Itsuki’s head. His face tensed.

“Haruto… She did it to you, too…?”

“She made me go over all my porn games and manga,” Haruto said, eyes glazed over.

“Huh… Same as me, then.”

“Hee-hee!”

That evil laugh again from Ashley.

“But Haruto certainly had quite a few to go over… Perhaps around a hundred dirty video games alone?”

“…Dude, how many do you buy?”

Even Itsuki was a bit put off by this.

Haruto blushed. “N-no! I used the averaged tax rate in my return last year, so we had to go over two years’ worth of my expenses! I didn’t buy a hundred in a single year!”

“A hundred in two years is still pretty amazing…”

“It—it’s for research!”

“Ee-hee! Haruto certainly does enjoy his pretty little maid characters, hmm? An obedient little lady, all prim and proper, but always supporting him from behind the scenes?”

“Nh…!”

The shame cascaded across Haruto’s face as Ashley revealed his particular brand of fetish.

“Ah, yeah, there’s a lot of those characters in Chevalier, too, huh? I was kinda thinking they shared a whole bunch of personality traits between them. And they all tended to have maid outfits on, too. So that’s your thing?”

“No! I… Okay, it’s not not my thing, but it’s all a calculated part of my strategy. I’m trying to craft characters who’ll become popular, so…!”

“I really don’t get what the attraction is with maids, though…”

“You start dissing maids, I don’t care who you are; you’re gonna pay for it!”

“Whoa!”

Itsuki reared back at the suddenly threatening Haruto. He snapped out of it quickly.

“I—I mean… You know, I think any man would like to have a kind, gentle woman devoted to him like that, sort of thing…”

“Yes, and you certainly enjoy defiling such kind, devoted women with your own carnal desires, ee-hee-hee…”

“I—I don’t! I swear!”

“Let me think: Turbulent Big-Boobed Bondage Maids IV; Right in My Butt, Master: Innocent Slave Bitches in Pure Love; All Mine to Suck On! (special limited-edition package with a software patch that puts maid outfits on all the female characters’ standing poses)…”

“N-no, I told you, that’s all just for research…!”

Haruto scrambled to make excuses for Ashley’s deadpan software list. Given the presence of sequels and special-edition releases in the titles, he didn’t have much of a defense to mount.

Itsuki gave him a cold stare. “What does putting maid clothes on all the standing poses contribute in terms of research?”

“Listening to you regale me in such extreme, lurid detail about the content of those dirty games from dawn to dusk was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life.”

The youth in Ashley’s face made it look like she was sulking a bit.

“I was so looking forward to an encore this year, too…”

“I never want to go through that kind of humiliation again, ma’am.”

“Even if I put on a maid outfit for you?”

“Wha…?!”

Haruto opened his eyes wide at Ashley, already imagining it in his mind. An elegant, blond, blue-eyed girl would look absolutely perfect in a traditional Victorian maid’s dress.

“That…umm…ugghh…”

“Dude, Haruto…”

Itsuki stared at him, shocked that he was actually considering it.

“W-wait, no, my mind’s made up about it…”

“Hee-hee! I’d be glad to serve you in the morning, even.”

“Ah…?! S-serve me?!”

“Yes…in the dirrrrty kind of way.”

“Wh-what are you…?”

Ashley smiled joyously at the stunned Haruto.

“You imagined it just now, didn’t you?”

“Hnngh…”

“Right there, in your mind, you imagined me, in a maid outfit, my pert little lips holding your penis in my mouth. Didn’t you, you silly fool?”

“I—I did not!”

Haruto’s face was completely red.

“Oh, you don’t have to deny it…hee-hee-hee… I know how serious-minded you are, so you probably felt guilty about imagining me in such a scandalous state of affairs. But your imaginative skills as an accomplished author couldn’t help but picture it so incredibly vividly…”

“Nnn…gh…”

Haruto, his motivations so accurately guessed, groaned in anguish.

Ashley’s own cheeks reddened a bit. “I’m sure you’ll be recalling that image of me in your head every morning now, when you wake up. You’ll be tormented by the guilt, but—yes—unable to withstand your bodily desires, you’ll pleasure yourself with it, no matter how loathsome it makes you feel. Every day, every day, over and over and over again…”

“Geh… I—I won’t…”

“Ah-ha! I love that look on your face, Haruto. Something about the faces you’re giving me makes me feel so incredibly…tempted…”

“You are just so awful! What do you have against me? Why do you insist on harassing me like this…?!”

Ashley simply laughed at the scowling, tormented Haruto. “You’re the awful one here, aren’t you? Simply leaving me all alone, without another word…”

“D-don’t phrase it like I did something bad to you, ma’am! All I did was not contact you about this year’s tax return!”

“I never turn down anyone who knocks on my door—but if they leave me, I never forgive them. That is the philosophy of the Ono Tax Accounting Office.”

“What kind of fantasy-land tax office are you running, ma’am?!”

Haruto looked ready to burst into tears. Itsuki, meanwhile, was looking on admirably, wondering internally if this was some new kind of foreplay game on Ashley’s part.

Then Ashley confronted him.

“H-huh?”

“…You’ll come back to me next year, won’t you, Itsuki?”

“I, uh…uhhhh… That’s the plan, I mean… Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

“Ee-hee! There’s a good boy. Just for that, I’ll be sure to call you ‘big brother’ next time.”

“F-for real?!”

Ashley flashed a nefarious smile at Itsuki as he suddenly sat bolt upright in his chair.

“Ugh… Even if you’re lying, that’s just one line I can’t let you cross… Nngh, dammit…!”

The desperate expression on Itsuki’s face only delighted Ashley further.

“Right… I would love to play with you two a little more, but unfortunately, I have other appointments. So, here’s your tax return and your receipts. Be sure to keep them in a safe place.”

“Yeah…”

Itsuki listlessly accepted the file folder. With that, Ashley went to the front door, put her shoes back on, and then took out another set of papers from her bag.

“Oh, and I’ve listed a few of my favorite hometown-tax offerings, so take a look when you have a chance. If you think you’ll make about as much this year as you did last, it’d be wise to make a donation in the hundred thousands, yen-wise.”

“Um, oh, sure… Thank you…?”

Itsuki was a bit confused at this service he hadn’t asked for.

The “hometown-tax” system allows taxpayers in Japan to make donations to individual communities located anywhere in the country as part of their tax returns. The donation can be almost fully deducted from their taxes.

It’s easy to assume that freelancers can deduct pretty much anything as “business expenses,” but that doesn’t mean the money they spend on those things is refunded to them; it simply deducts the value of those expenses from their income, as reported in the tax forms. If you work for a business and take a trip, the company will cover the cost of that for you, but freelancers don’t have that luxury.

Thus, for example, if the income tax rate is a flat 10 percent, and an author makes a million yen in a year with no extra expenses, they’ll have to pay out 100,000 of that yen in taxes. However, if the author can prove that they paid 100,000 yen for research materials or the like, that makes the author’s total income 900,000 yen, meaning their tax bill is now just 90,000. In the former case, you’re left with a million minus 100k, or 900,000 yen; in the latter, a million minus 100,000 minus 90, or 810,000 yen.

This means a lot of people opt for the former, not bothering to report any expenses at all. If you want to have as much cash on hand as possible after taxes, there’s no need to make the effort to buy stuff so you can deduct it from your income; it’s best to just save or invest the cash instead. For freelancers, the key to saving money on taxes is figuring out innovative ways to make non-business-related purchases look like they’re business expenses; spending money in an effort to cut the tax bill would be putting the cart before the horse. You have the choice of either paying a lot of taxes to keep more cash on hand for later, or cutting into your savings a bit to invest more in yourself, and different people make that choice in different ways.

With the hometown-tax system, meanwhile, making a donation as part of that directly deducts from what you owe in taxes, not from your reported income. If your tax bill is 100,000 yen and you donate 20,000 yen, your tax bill then becomes 80,000 yen. You might ask what the big deal is, if it’s all taxes anyway, but the difference is that the community you donate to usually sends you a thank-you gift, often some kind of local produce. You don’t get anything like this for paying “normal” taxes, of course, so getting something nice to eat as part of the bargain is a neat little extra. But some of these thank-yous can be pretty darn tempting—high-grade organic beef for a 10,000-yen donation, or three enormous hairy crabs for 20,000. Some communities even offer travel tickets or free lodging, a great opportunity for writers to save a little money as they journey around for research purposes.

So Itsuki leafed through the hometown-tax material Ashley gave him.

“Hmm… Neat.”

She had gone through the trouble of calculating the cost of each hometown-tax donation versus simply buying the product in question, circling her bargain recommendations in red marker. For someone with no loyalty to one Japanese town or another who’s just looking for the best deal possible, it was extremely valuable info.

“Um, are you sure I can have this?”

Ashley smiled at the slightly nervous Itsuki. “Well…if you’d like to pay me back for it, perhaps you could give me some of the food or drink you don’t use, in case you wind up donating too much.”

“That’s all you want?”

“I do enjoy good local sake, by the way.”

“…I’ll keep that in mind. Is that why you circled a lot of sake offers in red marker here? Because you wanted some?”

“Hee-hee-hee! I’d never do something that brazen, no. Just feel free to let me have whatever you wind up not needing.”

“…Um. Okay. I’ll definitely give you whatever sake I get.”

“Tee-hee! I’m looking forward to it, big brother.”

Itsuki’s face was flushed with excitement after Ashley left.

“Oh, man, I gotta donate to all the communities offering sake! My little sister deserves the best present I can give her!”

“Whoa, calm down, man! She’s not your sister!”

“Huh…?!”

A quick bop on the head from Haruto restored Itsuki to sanity. He probably would’ve really done it, too, if his friend wasn’t there.

“…All but demanding you shower her with gifts… She’s one of the most fearsome women I’ve ever met.”

“Going crazy the first time someone calls you ‘big brother’ is pretty screwed up, too, but… Yeah. She is.” Haruto sighed a fatigued sigh.