Afterword

It’s been a long time, everyone. I’m Firehead. I’m kind of the author, and the owner of this bar, “Afterword.” I serve alcohol and listen to the complaints of the customers who come here. That is my job.

Oh? Seems like there’s a customer today already...

Laws of Physics: “Hey, bartender! Gimme somethin’ to drink! Somethin’ strong!”

Looks like the customer is the Laws of Physics. Looks like he’s had it rough recently, but that doesn’t change what I have to do. As he asks, I serve him alcohol.

“Hey. Welcome to the Afterword. This tequila’s on the house. Just drink it and calm down, please.”

I served up some tequila, and the Laws of Physics downed the glass all at once. He drank well. After that, his cheeks flushed red as he breathed out, and he flattened out on the table.

Laws of Physics: “Dammit! That Lufas, she’s finally started dissing me in the main story! ‘Laws of physics? No idea who that is.’ That’s what she said, you know?! Bartender, gimme another!”

Apparently being openly dissed in the story proper was a huge shock to him.

I silently served more alcohol to him.

Laws of Physics: “That bitch... She doesn’t know how hard I’ve had to work in the shadows! She only makes use of me when it’s convenient, like for gravity, but as soon as I work against her, she ignores me completely!”

His complaints were perfectly reasonable, but I knew someone even more unfortunate than him. Oh...? Speak of the devil. He’s here.

Law of Conservation of Mass: “Bartender, I’d like something to drink. Something really strong.”

“Will orange juice do?”

Law of Conservation of Mass: “I’ll kill you.”

Oh my, he can’t even take a joke. The world sure is harsh. I did as I said and served him orange juice, and he downed it all in one gulp.

Law of Conservation of Mass: “This is orange juice!”

Yeah, sorry. It is. This time I poured him a glass of vodka.

Laws of Physics: “Oh, Mass. What’s wrong?”

Law of Conservation of Mass: “Heh... I got canned.”

Laws of Physics: “Huh?”

Law of Conservation of Mass: “It’s a notice of dismissal. Says I don’t need to come to Mizgarz anymore.”

Ah, so he finally got fired... Well, of course he wouldn’t be needed in a world where the Twelve Heavenly Stars giganticize like it’s nothing. In fact, he’d be in the way.

Law of Conservation of Mass: “Tch! Well that’s just what I wanted anyway! Those bastards just keep going gigantic over and over and over again! As if I wanted to work in a ridiculous world like that!” he said as he downed his vodka, his face bright red.

He honestly should have just kept with orange juice, given how weak he is.

“Sounds awful, customers.”

“It’s all your fault!” they both said.

“Ouchies!”

I got hit. This world is truly illogical and unreasonable.

*dingaling*

The bell that announced the arrival of a new customer ran throughout Afterword. Apparently we have a new customer.

Mercurius: “Bartender, a martini.”

Oh my, oh my. Well, if it isn’t Mercurius, who died in vain in the main story.

Mercurius: “Don’t say, ‘in vain.’”

Mercurius downed his martini in one swig and heaved a huge sigh.

Mercurius: “Hey, Bartender... What the hell was I, in the end?”

“The perfect fool who self-destructed after worrying about things all by himself even though he just wanted the girl he liked to like him back but was too much of a coward to put himself out there.”

Mercurius: “I’ll kill you.”

Well to be honest, he did land quite the unfortunate role. All he had to do was retrieve a weakened guardian dragon’s blood as well as the elixir. It should have been a simple job, but in the end, it all turned out like that before he could react. On top of that, Luna still probably wouldn’t have noticed his feelings, even if he’d succeeded. That girl’s totally focused on Terra, after all.

Mercurius: “Man... I knew that though... Even so, I wanted to do something...”

“I mean, why did you choose that moment to do something in the first place? You could have been more cautious about things.”

Mercurius: “I mean, it couldn’t be helped, right? I was panicking and in a rush too. I just heard that Luna encountered Aigokeros and was almost killed the other day. She managed to survive this time, but when I considered that fact, I realized that next time she might not be so lucky... I wanted to free her from the fate of all devilfolk even a day sooner. I thought that Lufas Maphaahl wouldn’t bother with her once the rest of the devilfolk were gone... Even if she didn’t notice me, as long as she was happy, I’d...”

“Woah there. Why’re you making things all serious? This is the Afterword! ‘As long as she’s happy...’ And then you’d take a pose like, ‘Schwing!’”

Mercurius: “I’ll kill you.”

But he punched me anyway. How unreasonable.

Mercurius downed even more alcohol and eventually passed out. After he did, Jupiter, who’d been shamefully done in by Libra in volume 2, came to get him.

Jupiter: “As always, sorry about this. I’ll take him home, so... Ah, here, I’ll foot the bill.”

“Thanks.” Just like that, the bar was empty, and I was alone.

Oh ho, sounds like it’s about time to close shop, and by that, I mean I’m running out of space. All right then, everyone, let’s all meet again in the next volume.

See you again.

-Firehead