Chapter 14: The Duke's Daughter Has a Bad Feeling

Chapter 14:
The Duke's Daughter Has a Bad Feeling

 

“ALL RIGHT, that should do it.” I scratched my quill across the paper and signed the last document for the day. “I’m so glad I decided to invite all those truant officials back. There’s so much less for me to do now.”

I knew it was unseemly, but I slumped over and lay facedown upon my desk. My head was unbearably heavy.

“You did a wonderful job today, my lady.” Tanya giggled softly as she set a cup of tea on my desk.

To my surprise, there was a knock at the door, and Dean appeared in the doorway. “Pardon me.”

“Dean!” I quickly sat up and hastily patted down my hair. Why did he always insist on dropping in unannounced?

“It’s been a long time, my lady.”

“Y-yes, it has.”

We hadn’t seen each other since I met him and Letty. At the time, I’d been annoyed with him—until I realized Letty was his sister. Thinking back on it now, I shouldn’t have treated him in such a way. After all, I had no right to tie him down.

When Dean wasn’t under contract with me, it wasn’t like we were perfect strangers, but we were first and foremost acquaintances. I had no business being angry with him when he was out living his life, even if I had been going through a rough time.

I needed to stop thinking about it, either way. If I thought about it too much, I’d ruminate over my immature reaction to seeing him with Letty, and then I would want to crawl into a hole and die!

“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come when you needed me most,” Dean said.

“It’s fine. I know you have other responsibilities.” I gestured for him to sit down.

Tanya had already prepared some tea for him. Dean took a seat and sipped it while I filled him in on the goings-on in Armelia during his absence. I ended up venting a bit, but he never looked irritated and just listened intently.

“So have you been into town since then?” he asked.

“Hmm? No. I want to go, though.” I just hadn’t managed to do it, not even after what Mina said. When it came down to actually going through with it, I just kept hesitating. There was also the matter of how much work was on my desk, but…

“You do want to?” Dean asked, and I nodded. “Then I’ll do everything I can to help. I know you, and I know if you have even a speck of work left, you’ll use that as an excuse not to go.”

“Ugh…” He’d said it with a smile, but I had to admit that he’d hit me where it hurt. Way to call me out, Dean!

“But since you say you’ve finished your work, you really should go. It’ll just keep bothering you if you don’t.”

“You’re right…” If I kept putting it off, it would get harder and harder to do—and it would weigh on me all the while. Then I would drag it out even further. “I’ll leave at the next opportunity. Will you help me?”

“Of course.” Dean smiled at me.

All right, then. I’d do my best.

 

***

 

“May I have a word?” Dean called out to Tanya in the hallway when she came to take the dishes away.

“What is it?”

Dean casually looked around. When he saw that they were alone, he continued. “You know Dorssen Kataberia, I take it?”

Her gaze grew sharper at hearing the name. “Of course. What about him?”

“I hear he’s been lurking around the duchy and Lady Iris. I haven’t figured out what he’s after yet, though.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“From a little bird in the capital. One I met through General Gazell.”

“I see.” Tanya nodded. If the source was related to the general, then it was a credible one indeed. After all, he was respected deeply not only by the army but also by the knights. “What would you have me do with this information?”

That was the real question. On the surface, Tanya appeared to be nothing more than a maid. Very few people knew that she served Iris in other capacities.

“I wanted to confirm the tip as soon as possible. I knew you would be my best bet in the name of doing so. Am I wrong?”

“Why me?” Tanya pressed.

Dean chuckled. “I can tell just by watching you serve tea that you’ve been trained in martial arts.”

“That’s…”

“General Gazell was my master, too. That’s how. Moreover, from what I know about you personally, I know that for Lady Iris, you would use your skills to your utmost ability.”

“Isn’t that what her bodyguards are for?”

“Oh? And you’re not one of them? I don’t seem to recall discussing the details of anyone’s job description.”

Tanya frowned for a split second; Dean had her backed into a corner. To be more precise, she had dug herself into a hole.

Dean sensed what she was thinking, and his smile grew stiff. “I’ve been too forward. What I meant to say was that your movements made clear to me that you have training. The way you observe your surroundings, the way you carry yourself. So it wouldn’t surprise me if you were more than simply a maid and if you in fact also acted as Lady Iris’s eyes and ears. At least, that would be my guess.”

“You’re correct.” Tanya wasn’t sure if she should be questioning her skills or praising Dean’s. “Where exactly did you come from?”

It just wasn’t right. A man who had only dabbled in martial arts shouldn’t have been able to recognize her skills merely from studying her in her duties. She had spent over a decade under the careful tutelage of General Gazell, sharpening her skills. Perhaps Dean had faced someone like her before? That might have explained his ability to recognize Tanya’s way of holding herself.

In any other circumstance, she would have made that guess. That was why she doubted it. Why would the son of a merchant belonging to the merchant guild ever expect to be involved in such a fight?

She asked as much; he laughed. There was a darkness in his eyes.

“No matter, then,” Tanya said. She could tell she wouldn’t get anything else out of him at this rate. “In any case, I’ll go ahead and let Lady Iris know.”

Dean seemed surprised. “I thought you would confirm the information first.”

“I’ll look into it, of course, but it’s best if she knows right away. Does that surprise you?”

“Yes. I thought you might not want to worry her with unconfirmed information.”

“It’s unconfirmed, not unreliable.” And to be true, there was a time when Tanya would have withheld information for just that reason. However… “Lady Iris stands on her own two feet and moves ever forward. Since I serve her, I cannot stand in her way without a good reason.”

Tanya had changed, too, just as Iris had when she resolved herself to be ready for war. Tanya remembered the goosebumps that had rippled down her arms when Iris addressed her truant officials, and she remembered the conversation she’d had with Dida, alone in the middle of a dark night.

Her job wasn’t to wrap Iris in silk; it was to follow her mistress’s orders and assist her, and at times to serve as her spy. Tanya wouldn’t stand in Iris’s way just because she wanted to protect her, and so she couldn’t cover Iris’s eyes and ears either. To do so would be to overstep her bounds.

“I know you wouldn’t do that either,” Tanya said.

Dean stared at Tanya for a moment, surprised. Then he smiled. “I’m honored to hear you say as much. Well, please go ahead and confirm the information. I’ll be awaiting your news.”

“I was planning on it.”

With that, Dean turned and left. Tanya continued on in the opposite direction, ready to get back to work.

 

***

 

It was truly amazing how fast I got through work with Dean at my side. It was like I’d cloned myself. We muscled through a mountain of backlog in no time at all.

The work had piled up for two reasons. First, I was running a company at the same time as governing a duchy. Second, I was engaged in tens of different projects in the name of reforming Armelia, and all that was on top of my routine work. And then there was how long I’d been away in the capital dealing with the church. And then I’d had to deal with the officials on strike.

In other words: Under normal circumstances, I’d never have ended up with such a tremendous backlog, although granted, it wasn’t unusual for one or two piles to gather on my desk in the course of running both Armelia and Azuta. At any rate, I made a real dent in the work thanks to Dean. I couldn’t help but be impressed with him every time he turned up.

A certain group of government officials groaned whenever Dean arrived, saying things like “Oh, great, the workhorse is here…” and “I should’ve taken a vacation,” while they lamented not being able to go back in time. The only officials who enjoyed his presence were those who worked at Bursa; Dean always managed to get them fired up, and they had all vowed to beat him one day.

What in the world had Dean done to inspire such heated feelings? I’d asked them once, but all they’d done was smile and say, “Only the best of the best work we’ve ever produced. We can’t help but be competitive.”

It was true that he was fast at his job, and the officials grew haggard trying to keep up with him. That was how we finished work early enough one day that I was able to go to town.

Tanya did such a good job with my disguise that I hardly recognized myself. She used special makeup techniques that went beyond the normal scope of prettying my face. I also wore glasses, and I used a product from the Azuta Corporation to change my hair color. The last change was shrugging into a cotton frock, and then I was all done. In fact, I looked so different that even those close to me probably wouldn’t have been able to tell who I was.

“Let’s go, Dean.”

“Very well.”

“Be careful,” Tanya said. She wasn’t coming with us; she had something she needed to investigate.

Meanwhile, both Lyle and Dida were presently away from the estate. Dida had gone to east Armelia and Lyle to the north. My initial plan had been to bring multiple guards with me in their stead, but Tanya had been against it. She pointed out that if I had too many guards, no matter how elaborate my makeup, my true identity would be obvious.

Despite Mina’s reassurances, I really didn’t want to draw any attention to myself. To be honest, I was still a little nervous about having only one guard.

Dean won the responsibility of escorting me, though honestly, he was the best option. He could hold his own against Lyle and Dida, and he wasn’t widely recognized in town. Tanya didn’t object either. In fact, it sounded like she’d wanted me to bring him in the first place. Something had changed in her lately, and I really had to wonder about that. A change of heart? But that was only part of it.

At any rate, Dean and I went to town together. It was as lively and bustling as usual. Merchants were lined up on the roads, and people strolled down the streets, perusing their wares.

“Ah…” I was so unused to being in crowds again that I accidentally bumped into someone and stumbled. I’d basically been a hermit lately, after all.

Dean caught my arm. “Are you all right?”

“I’m sorry, yes. Thank you.” I looked up, feeling embarrassed. Dean’s face was closer than I’d imagined it would be. That only made me feel even shyer. Heat rose in my cheeks, and I looked down.

“There are a lot of people here, huh?”

“Y-yes, but I’m glad,” I murmured.

Dean smiled tenderly at me—he realized the meaning behind my words. The volume of people meant the economy was good. Things were so stable that they could afford to have leisure time in town. People were only this carefree about shopping in peace times, after all. I had lived in such times in my previous life, and I’d taken scenes like this for granted. Now I knew just how special they were. That was why seeing the town like this felt like proof that I had been doing a good job—and it made me so, so happy.

“We shouldn’t just stand here or we’ll be in the way,” Dean said. “Let’s go.”

I’d become distracted by the view, but Dean had a point. I was standing smack-dab in the middle of the street.

“You’re right, we should go.” I made to start walking, but Dean suddenly held his hand out to me. I stared at it in surprise.

“There are so many people here. I don’t want you to get lost,” he said with a smile.

Right again. I wanted to take his hand, but I was oddly nervous. The hesitation overcame me, and it definitely got a bit weird. Finally, I mustered the courage to take his hand.

Dean’s hand was larger than mine, and rougher…and warm. A smile crossed my face. It felt like his warmth traveled straight to my heart. It made me glad. I found myself wishing the moment could last longer—forever.

“Lady Alice, you have some free time today, right?” Dean asked.

“Yes, thanks to you.”

“Then let’s take a detour,” he said, tugging on my hand.

I was a bit surprised, but my foremost feeling was still delight. The grin on my face felt so natural.

“I haven’t been here very much.” I said as we walked along a street lined with large shops.

“When you used to come, you mostly stuck to the downtown neighborhood or the vicinity of the church.”

“I think you’re right. But where are we going?”

“I thought it would be good to look at some other shops for a change. The place I most want to take you is a café everyone’s been talking about.”

“Everyone…from Bursa, you mean?”

“No. I heard about it from Lyle.”

“Oh, good. I can’t wait.”

Dean was still holding my hand as we walked down the street.

I noticed a shop I was interested in. “Let’s go in there,” I suggested.

“Ah, okay.” He seemed oddly reluctant for a moment, so I pulled him along.

It was a jewelry store.

“Welcome,” said the employee at the register. Then he spied Dean. “Oh, it’s you!”

“Do you know each other?” I glanced at Dean curiously.

“Yes, back when I used to work for the merchant guild. There’s something I want to ask him, actually. Is that all right with you?”

“Yes, of course. Go ahead.”

He paused before he left. “My lady, please stay inside the shop at all times. This won’t take long.”

“All right.”

Dean disappeared into the back room with the employee. We were still in the same building, and since the jewelry shop had its own guards, I was sure it was fine. I went ahead and browsed the wares.

“Oh, what’s this?” I spotted a beautiful pocket watch among the other offerings. It seemed an odd choice for a jewelry store, but as I examined it, I realized gemstones were embedded in the case. “Goodness…”

“Your friend went in the back with the man who runs our sister clock shop,” said another employee. “Those watches are the product of our collaboration. I can vouch for the craftsmanship.”

I picked up watch after watch to admire them. Each one was better than the last. I was positively entranced.

“These are lovely.”

“Thank you. The leaf motif is embossed and set with sapphires. The same color as your eyes, in fact.”

“I’ll take it, thank you.”

“No, thank you. Before I wrap it up, I’ll get the instructions on its care from the artisan. Could you wait a moment?” I agreed, and the employee went into the back room as well. They said it would take a while, so I chatted with another employee while I looked at the other wares.

“My, are you sure that’s the correct price?” I asked with surprise when I heard the total.

“Yes. This shop doesn’t cater to the nobility. Our main clientele are from merchant families, such as yourself. We primarily use sapphires, but since no one would buy them loose, we set them in jewelry like so. That drops the price quite a bit.”

“Merchant families?”

“Am I wrong? I apologize, I was only guessing because of your friend.”

“Oh, that’s all right. You were just spot-on, so I was startled. I see. Thank you.”

I took the package just as Dean came back into the room, though I quickly hid the package in my purse.

“I’m sorry it took so long,” he said.

“That’s quite all right. I made the most of my time here.”

After that, we kept walking down the street until we ended up at the café we’d originally been aiming for. They had a ton of frozen treats that were the talk of the town. We enjoyed trying various things until we were full.

We had taken our time, and I realized we’d been gone for quite a while. Time really did fly when you were having fun.

As we were walking, something caught my eye, and I stopped.

“What is it?” Dean asked with concern.

I gave him a reassuring smile. “This alleyway just reminds me of someplace.”

“Where?”

“Right after I became the acting governor, I took a few companions to tour the domain.”

“Dida told me about that.”

“That’s the one. So anyway, we were in the eastern region of Armelia and I came across a dark alleyway. I started to walk toward it—I was just curious.”

“And they stopped you.”

“Yes. Dida, specifically. He said I wasn’t ready for it yet.”

I finally understood what he had meant. It didn’t matter how nice and peaceful a place looked on the surface; all it took was one step in the wrong direction, and you might enter a completely different world. A dark world. One where darkness came not from poverty or misfortune, and one that felt completely different from how it first appeared.

I’d seen such a place in my past life, too. I’d been walking around idly, feeling excited because I was on a trip. I’d thought being a tourist meant nothing bad could possibly happen to me. I’d been in the middle of a seemingly idyllic town, but when I took a single step into a certain alleyway, the atmosphere had abruptly changed. The people on the streets had turned to me with sharply glinting eyes. The buildings had looked identical to the buildings everywhere else, but I’d been overwhelmed by a heavy, intimidating aura. I had known, instinctually, that I’d walked into a dangerous place.

I remembered being incredibly frightened. To think I’d repeated the same behavior even in my next life! It just went to show how little progress I’d actually made.

At any rate, every town had places where darkness gathered—places where certain organizations were in control. I wouldn’t have said such organizations were necessary evils, but they did help maintain order in some neighborhoods. I was glad I hadn’t stuck my nose into their business without thinking. Unlike in my past life, I had an important social role in this one, and it was my responsibility to honor that.

Honestly, it was possible that the organizations in Armelia wouldn’t entertain the thought of an audience with me even now. They might even eat me alive at the first opportunity. If I really wanted to meet them head-on, I would have to build a system strong enough to surpass them, and I’d have to be powerful enough to force them to abide by it.

“I wonder what Dida would tell me now? That’s all I was wondering,” I said.

“I’m not sure. Even if you were ready to meet them, Dida would probably give you the same answer. He ran with them once, so he probably wants you to stay far away from that life.”

“Wait, you know about that?”

“Yes. I heard a bit about it when I was training with General Gazell.”

“I see. And what did you think when you heard?”

“Nothing in particular. It’s not that unusual.”

“Now I’m curious to know what you would consider unusual.”

Dean laughed. “Well, I know that Dida has a very keen sense for danger, which he likely learned when he was very little. What about you? What did you think?”

“Nothing, really. No matter who he once was or what he’s done, he’s never been anything but good to me. And I think who he is now is more important than who he was then. Besides, he’s very important to me. He’s family.”

“I think that’s quite wise of you.”

“Do you? Ah, look at the time. We should go.”

“All right.”

We started off again. Our next stop was to visit an old man who owned a restaurant. I was nervous going in, but he didn’t recognize me at first. I was once more impressed with Tanya’s makeup skills.

When I introduced myself properly, he stared at me blankly. Then he burst into an enormous smile, delighted that I was visiting. In fact, he was so happy that he ordered a free round of drinks for all the customers, on the house—much to his wife’s dismay. To be fair, she also greeted me tearfully, and she insisted we would eat for free.

We were greeted warmly everywhere we went, at the florist, at the fishmonger’s. One by one, we went to everyone who knew “Alice.” None of them said the least word against me. In fact, it was all tearful words of gratitude and heartfelt apologies. Soon, it was so much that I wanted to cry.

“They all adore you,” Dean said with a smile on the way home.

From the bottom of my heart, all I could feel was gratitude.

In my past life, I’d devoted all my time to my job. But what had I ever gotten from it? I’d always felt short on time, racing to finish projects at work. My personal relationships had suffered because of it. Money builds up when you don’t have time to use it. At some point, you become numb to it all and start to feel like you’re in a game.

There was a freedom in the loneliness. It can be easy to live in a world when you’re by yourself all the time. It also feels empty.

I still threw myself into my work in Armelia; the difference was that I was so happy. Seeing people smile and hearing their kind words meant the world to me. I didn’t think it was just because I had a different status. No, I had changed.

I suspected it also had to do with how well my two selves were fusing together. Specifically, the biggest factor was most likely the fact that I had so many experiences to compare and contrast. I’d thrown myself into my next life headfirst, and I wanted to thank God for giving me the chance to be reincarnated.

I looked up at Dean. He noticed my gaze and smiled. I naturally smiled back at him.

“Thank you for today,” I said.

“Not at all. I should thank you.”

“There’s somewhere I’d like to stop before we go home. Is that all right?”

Dean nodded, and it was my turn to take his hand and start walking.

 

There was a lake on the grounds of the estate, a large one by the forest, that was fed by a small spring inside the woods. The two of us stood at the edge of the spring. The sun had already gone down, and the moon and stars glowed overhead.

“It’s beautiful… It’s funny how I live here, but for so long, I didn’t know I had a view like this,” I murmured.

“It is a bit far from the house.”

“You’re right. I found it once on a walk I took during the afternoon, but it turns out that it’s especially beautiful at night.”

The full moon and starry sky were reflected in the surface of the water. We were surrounded by trees and quiet, enfolded by serenity.

“Hey, Dean? Thanks. For everything you’ve done.”

“There’s no need to thank me, my lady.”

“I do need to, though. You connected me with Father Rafsimons, which enabled me to prove my innocence. That’s why I want to thank you.”

“I did it because I belong to you. But I will gratefully accept your words of gratitude.”

“I have more than words to give you. Here, take this.” I took out the sapphire-flecked watch I had bought earlier. I’d had them wrap it, so Dean didn’t know what was inside.

“My lady…I couldn’t possibly accept this,” he said with a lopsided smile.

I pushed it into his hand anyway. “Please. You really did help me so much. And not just with your actions. You helped my heart as well.”

“Your heart?”

“Yes. I think I was always afraid to show any weakness or let anyone into my heart. I thought it would just cause trouble for them.”

Honestly, I was still afraid. I didn’t want to get hurt, so I hid my weak self deep inside me—I hid so no one would expect anything from me, and so I wouldn’t get my hopes up about anyone either. But being alone was miserably difficult, so I pushed my strong, reliable self to the front.

“I couldn’t take it anymore. I hit my limit the day you spoke to me. When you brought out my weaknesses, I was relieved. When you told me it was okay to lean on you, I was so happy, and my heart felt so light. You really saved me. And this is to thank you for that.”

“May I open it?”

“Of course.”

Dean unwrapped the small package, and his eyes widened with surprise.

“I found it today,” I said. “I thought you could use it for work.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he said with a sheepish grin.

The reaction pushed me to the verge of panic—oh, no—

“My lady…I actually have a present for you as well.” A determined look came over Dean’s face as he handed me a box.

“What?!” I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw it. The box was from the same shop.

“Please open it.”

I hesitantly took the box and cracked it open. “Oh, my!”

It was also a watch, but this one was embossed with an exquisite rose, and the gemstones decorating it were a beautiful emerald green—the same color as Dean’s eyes.

“It’s a congratulatory gift,” he said, “as well as an apology.”

“An apology?”

“Yes. You thanked me for it, but I was very harsh with you that day. I wanted to apologize. As for congratulations, that’s because your conflict with the Church was resolved and you were found innocent.”

“But…”

“Please accept it. The owner of that shop is a friend of mine. I wondered why he told me it was on the house, but then… Well, just look.”

I did as he said and saw that when you held both pocket watches next to each other, an embossed line seemed to connect the two designs. Mine was a rose, and his was a leaf. The line connecting the two looked like ivy, joining them together.

“Those brothers sure are something,” Dean said with a laugh. “They put a lot of thought into this design. I know it may be forward of me, but I dearly want you to keep the other half of it.”

My heart was pounding so hard that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to survive it. But I smiled, and I accepted the watch. “Thank you. I’m so truly happy…”

 

***

 

“One day, you’re going to protect the royal family.”

Where had he gone wrong? Whenever Dorssen Kataberia asked himself that, he remembered the words his father had told him every day of his life as he grew up. His father was Doruna Kataberia, the knight commander of Tasmeria, and he had been training Dorssen ever since he was young.

Dorssen had taken pride in those words, so he had enthusiastically devoted himself to his training. At the same time, growing up like that, he’d thought that entering the academy was incredibly tiresome. He would’ve rather stayed at home and become a knight’s squire instead. Unfortunately, as House Kataberia’s only son, he was obligated to attend the academy.

Even after he joined, thanks to his quiet nature, he’d never truly grown used to it. Then one day, he met a girl. Her name was Yuri Neuer. They met on the school training grounds, which the students were free to use as they pleased. Dorssen trained there by himself almost every day.

“That’s amazing.” This was the first thing she ever said to him.

“What is?”

“Ah, I’m sorry. I come this way every day, over by the edge of the field. So do you, right? I’ve been wondering what you’re doing.”

“By the edge?” There was a flower bed in the back of the training grounds, but no path went by it, so it was ill maintained and mostly just weeds.

“Yes. I thought it was a shame that there was such a large flower bed with no flowers, so I’ve been trying to garden. I got the school’s permission, of course.”

“You don’t have to worry. It’s not like I would’ve reported you or something.”

“Well, that’s part of it, but…it’s a bit unusual for the daughter of a baron to be getting her hands dirty, you know? So I don’t really want to talk about it much.”

“It’s not like you’re hurting anyone. I won’t say anything either way.”

“Thanks. So? What are you doing here every day?” Yuri’s smile reminded him of a flower in bloom. For some reason, that warmed him.

“Isn’t it obvious?” he asked.

“Well, I can tell that you’re training. But I wonder what for? You’re already the top student in the martial arts class.”

He was taking that course as an elective, as were the other children of knights. Some of them just wanted to learn how to protect their families, while others were second or third sons who dreamed of becoming a knight themselves.

“I’m not training for class.”

“You’re not?”

“No. I’m training so that I can offer my services to the royal family.”

Yuri stared at him blankly for a few moments, then she smiled deeply. “That’s wonderful. I bet it would feel so wonderfully reassuring to be protected by someone like you.”

Those words and that smile left a lasting impression on Dorssen.

From time to time, Yuri would come to visit him while he was training. They would chat a bit, and then she would leave. At first, he didn’t think anything of it, but gradually, he found himself looking forward to seeing her. She would compliment things that came naturally to him, telling him that he was wonderful. That he was amazing.

He found those compliments so encouraging that they made him even more enthusiastic about his exercise. He thought multiple times that he would love to devote his sword to her. Every time he chided himself, reminding himself that his sword was meant for the royal family.

By the time Dorssen realized he was in love with Yuri, she was already engaged to Prince Edward. At first he was depressed, but his desire to protect her won out. He realized that he could love her even while missing her, and that somewhat healed his heart.

Even better, he realized he would now be able to dedicate himself to her protection. During the conflict between Iris, Yuri, and Edward, he had of course taken Yuri’s side. Iris’s expulsion had been in the name of protecting Yuri. So he’d thought, at least.

 

“What have you done?” Doruna, his father, asked in an incredibly stern tone.

Dorssen didn’t know what he meant and gave him a puzzled look.

His father heaved a sigh. “I’m talking about the duke’s daughter!”

“Why are you yelling?”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“I can’t believe you’d raised a hand to the duke’s daughter—even worse, you aspire to become a knight, and you raised your hand to a woman, period! Where is your pride in our chivalric code?”

“But the duke’s daughter was abusing Lady Yuri.”

“And did you see her doing it?”

“W-well, not directly, but everyone said—”

“And did you investigate these claims to ensure their verity? Did you witness any of it with your own eyes?”

“N-no…”

“I’m so furious, I don’t even know what to say! You raised a hand to a woman without proof! To the fiancée of the second prince! You don’t deserve to be a knight! You’ve brought shame both on this house and on the knighthood itself!”

“But I—”

“I’ll hear none of your excuses! I order you to stay at home until you’ve cooled off that damn head of yours!”

With that, Doruna ordered the butler to escort Dorssen to his room and confine him there. For a good long while, Dorssen was not allowed to attend school, which meant he was unable to train. He had nothing to do besides sit in his room and think.

Dorssen had no idea why he was being punished. All he’d wanted was to protect Yuri. After he had been confined for a set period of time, his father allowed him to resume his training but forbade him from seeing Yuri. This just led Dorssen to distrust his father’s judgment even more.

It wasn’t until after he saw Yuri again at the Foundation Day celebration that he came to understand his father’s sentiment.

 

His mother summoned him to meet with her after the party. “It’s good to see you again, Dorssen.”

“Hello, Mother,” he said as the butler placed a teacup and a plate in front of him.

“That’s called chocolate. It’s quite popular in the capital now. Try it,” his mother urged.

Dorssen had never seen anything like this food before, and he took a bite.

“It was made by the company House Armelia owns.”

“House Armelia…”

“Just as the queen dowager said, the one running the company is Lady Iris. The daughter of Duke Armelia.” Lady Kataberia seemed sad when she said Iris’s name. “Dorssen, can you really hold your head high and say you did the right thing?”

“What do you mean?”

“Honestly, your actions have led to some significant political difficulties for our house. But putting that aside, do you really think you did the right thing?”

Her question puzzled him. Dorssen didn’t know what she meant. He thought he’d done the right thing, without a doubt. But he had been punished, and his father had told him he had brought shame to the entire knighthood.

Did this mean his father had been angry merely because Dorssen had caused social problems for House Kataberia? If so, then he was even more convinced than ever of the rightness of his actions. As long as he protected Yuri, he didn’t care what happened to his family.

“Really, Dorssen, and this might sound rude, but…I feel sorry for the duke’s daughter.”

“And why is that, Mother?”

“Because Yuri Neuer set her eyes on a man who was already engaged and stole him away from Lady Iris. As a woman, I can understand why Lady Iris reacted like she did. Another woman grew close to her fiancé for malicious reasons. She felt jealous and threatened. Who could blame her for speaking against Yuri?”

“Well…”

“Yuri stole away the person she loved. And for it, you humiliated her in front of the entire academy, and now she’s been exiled from high society.”

Dorssen thought back to the final confrontation they’d had with Iris.

“Ms. Yuri. What more do you wish to steal from me? You’ve taken my fiancé, my position…” She’d said this while tears welled in her eyes.

“It seems to me that these chocolates are a symbol of her determination,” said his mother. “Her determination to make it alone, without marrying. Her engagement was broken, and she was written off by the aristocracy. It will indeed be difficult for her to find another respectable union. And Dorssen…you raised a hand to her, participated in her humiliation, and supported the woman who instigated her fall to ruin. So, as a knight, can you really say you did the right thing?”

“Well…” Dorssen couldn’t argue with that. He hadn’t thought about it. It was so obvious, yet he’d never considered Iris’s pain—or her sadness, which must have been insurmountable.

“Are you satisfied that you protected the woman you love? Is that what you honed your skills for?” His mother shook her head. “Dorssen, I really wouldn’t believe something until I saw proof of it myself. And what I saw at the celebration was you speaking to Prince Edward and Yuri—and that you confronted Lady Iris. What was that all about? Were you really speaking ill of Lady Iris just to gain someone else’s attention? Is that how a knight treats a lady?”

Every word Dorssen’s mother spoke twisted the knife lodged in his heart. There was no going back now.

“I’m no knight,” she went on, “so perhaps I don’t understand the code or your vows. But at the celebration, I saw you treat Lady Iris with what I could only call outright abuse.”

When Dorssen’s father had scolded him, he’d only felt rebellious. Now his heart was filled with confusion and regret.

“I hope you feel ashamed of yourself.”

 

Following his meeting with his mother, Dorssen devoted every hour of his days to training. He needed to clear his head. All he could think of were his mother’s words—and Iris’s. He was in torment.

As a result, he became alienated from Prince Edward and Yuri. After graduation, he joined the knights as a squire, just as he had planned. He sparred with the other knights, and every day was more fulfilling than the last. He’d always longed to join their order. The knighthood was everything to him, and since his values had wavered, he was even more attached to the idea of becoming one.

Soon enough, the knighthood became his entire world.

During that time, General Gazell’s two apprentices started coming to participate in joint drills between the knights and the army. The apprentices of General Gazell—the living hero. Dorssen had been jealous of them, though no more so than everyone else around him. The general’s chosen apprentices were the envy of every soldier and knight alike.

However, Dorssen had trained for the knighthood ever since his boyhood, so he was more than confident in his skills. Moreover, he was unbelievably proud to have at last joined the order. Yet he just couldn’t find it in himself to blithely accept the general’s apprentices. So he challenged them.

“I don’t know how much pride you take in being a knight. But I don’t consider you one.”

With those words, Dida had handed Dorssen an overwhelming defeat.

Dorssen was frustrated, and he even despaired, much to his chagrin. What had he worked so hard for? Dida’s words had been the terrible echo of his mother’s. He began to fear that he had wasted his time aspiring to be a knight.

“Huh? You wanna know about Lyle and Dida?” one of his superiors asked, though he looked surprised. “Why don’t you ask ’em yourself? Just say, ‘Please tell me more about yourselves!’”

“No, I don’t think so…”

“Well, I can’t blame you, after that fight. You left the worst first impression,” the knight chuckled. “Well? What do you wanna know about them?”

“I want to know why they haven’t come to the capital to enlist. They would be welcomed into the ranks of the knights or the soldiers. So why haven’t they?”

“Don’t you remember what they said? They’ve devoted their swords to the mistress who saved them. Their loyalty to her is greater than their own pride. Seems to me they’re truer knights than we are. Oh—right, their mistress is Duke Armelia’s daughter, Lady Iris.”

“What? She’s their mistress?” Dorssen asked.

The knight frowned. “You don’t seem happy to hear that.”

“No, it’s just that…I kept wondering who it was they served. I never would have guessed it was Lady Iris.”

“You went to school with her, didn’t you?”

“Yes. …What do you think of her?”

“Don’t ask me. I’ve never spoken with her beyond a hello. You know her better.”

“The things people say about her…are unflattering.”

“I know that much. You must be talking about the incident that led to her expulsion. My family’s of the nobility, too, you know.”

“So you know, then.”

“That’s it, though, right?”

“Well…” Dorssen paused. Wasn’t her expulsion proof enough?

“People are more complicated than they seem. They show different sides of themselves, depending on the time and place.”

“Isn’t that a bit deceptive?”

“Is it? Let me ask you this—are you the same at home as you are when you’re here with us?”

“Well…”

“I know I’m not. That’s why I can’t say what kind of person she is. Haven’t been around her enough. I’m not saying I’d just ignore the things I’ve heard about her. But on one hand, you’ve got the evil villainess who harassed the daughter of a baron, and on the other, you’ve got the benevolent mistress who saved Lyle and Dida, to whom they feel so indebted that they’ve devoted their lives to her. Which one’s the truth? What kind of person do you think she is?”

Honestly, Dorssen couldn’t answer. He’d never been around Iris long enough to share stories about her. Everything he knew about her was something he’d heard from someone else. He had based his entire opinion on hearsay. “I…”

That was as far as he got. The knight frowned at him and shrugged.

 

Dorssen kept thinking about it. He thought of his father’s words, and his mother’s, and the knight’s. No matter how much he thought, he kept coming to the same conclusion: that as a man, he had done nothing wrong. He still couldn’t forgive Iris for what she had done, and he had no intentions of doing so. At the same time, he had come to think he might have done the wrong thing as a knight.

It was incontrovertibly true that he had humiliated Iris and disrespected her in public. He believed he should apologize to her for that. He tried to meet with her to do so, but no matter how many times he requested a meeting, he was turned away. He even began to approach the Armelia mansion in the capital, but they never let him past the gate.

He asked his friend for advice again, to which the man responded, “Are you stupid or something?”

They were at the tavern in town. It wasn’t really the kind of place two nobles would go, but due to General Gazell’s influence, they’d taken to visiting the establishment for a drink after work.

“Let me ask you this: What if Lady Iris said, ‘I don’t feel bad about what I did, but I apologize for responding inappropriately as the daughter of a duke.’ What would you do?”

“Well…I don’t know. I just want to settle things.”

“Settle things? Obviously, she’s gonna be suspicious if you start coming around suddenly, saying you want to see her. Hell, is your apology even sincere? Anyway, if you think she’s got the time to listen to you, you’re crazy.”

“I do mean it, though. I feel terrible about my behavior. It was unbecoming of a knight.”

“That’s it, though. Remember what I asked you? About how you’d feel if the situation were reversed? How would you feel?”

Dorssen wasn’t sure how to answer, though he wanted to. When he thought of Yuri’s suffering, he just couldn’t forgive Iris for what she’d done. He would think any apology empty and meaningless.

His expression said it all to his friend, who nodded. “See? You wouldn’t really mean your apology. Your heart’s not in it. If you try to apologize and it’s not real, they’re gonna know it.” Then the knight’s face grew serious. “Anyway, apologizing might feel good because then you feel like it’s all over, but it doesn’t feel that way for the person you wronged. They have to decide whether they’re going to forgive you, and if you get another chance. So are you going to be selfish? You going to let your own feelings cause her even more pain?”

It wouldn’t be easy to settle this, not at all. At least, that was what Dorssen felt his friend was trying to say. The other knight seemed to think that Dorssen’s desire to apologize was presumptuous in itself.

“Then what should I do?” Dorssen asked.

“Don’t look at me. What do you want to do? I keep asking you that. Because from here, it seems like you just want to make yourself feel better by offering her empty words—and not even because you feel bad, but because you’re getting swept up in what everyone else says. You need to think about it yourself. Think deeper and with a more open mind. What do you want to do? What can you do?”

They drank for a little longer after that and then went their separate ways.

Once Dorssen got home, he kept replaying the conversation with his friend in his mind.

He thought about everything that had happened and everything that might happen. He thought about it over and over again, about what he’d done and about what he wanted to do. He thought and thought, but he couldn’t come to a conclusion, until finally…

“I want to learn more about her.”

That was Dorssen’s resolution. He didn’t know anything about Iris, which meant he needed to learn. He wanted to know what she had really done and what she really wanted to do. So he took leave from the knights and embarked on a journey to learn the truth of this Iris Lana Armelia.