Chapter 3: Imperfect Words

Chapter 3:
Imperfect Words

 

HONESTLY, WAS I WRONG to want Shimamura to focus only on me? Lately, I was starting to question myself a tiny little bit. Her stiff smile had created ripples in my heart. I wanted that smile to be sweet and pure! I mean, it was always sweet, but sometimes it would turn…you know…hard.

But what could be more important than focusing on the one thing that mattered most? And I did matter most. I was her girlfriend now, after all.

Her girlfriend… Hee hee…

In a blink, our homeroom teacher had finished speaking. My eyes wandered over the words scrawled widely across the blackboard:

“School trip…?”

Apparently, it was happening next month. I had no idea until just now.

Truth be told, I couldn’t remember any of the field trips I went on in elementary or junior high school. Couldn’t even tell you where we went—all I could recall was the intense desire to go home. But this time was different. This time, I would be with Shimamura…and the thought was enough to crank my excitement up a notch.

Trips are so great… I hope someday Shimamura and I can go on a trip together, just the two of us…

Just then, I made eye contact with the girl in question. She was looking at me through the crowd of students milling about during the break period between classes. Shyly, she raised her hand in a tiny wave. This slight gesture made my chest ache deeply. Taking care to control myself, I waved back.

Since the start of the second semester, Shimamura was all I ever thought about, even during class. Same as before, except more clearly now. It was like holding a flower up to eye level to admire it; the beauty was right in front of me.

Frankly, if I wasn’t careful, I was in danger of bursting into song. In fact, my mother had already caught me humming the other day, and she gave me a weird look. Then she asked if I was in a good mood, to which I said, “No, uh…just average!” Looking back, I felt a little guilty that I hadn’t tried to open up and have more of a conversation with her. But my mother rarely ever asked me anything, so I panicked.

Then again, I wouldn’t want her to be chatty like Shimamura’s mom either…

Shimamura resembled her mother quite a bit, and not just physically—they had some personality traits in common too. I couldn’t put my finger on it exactly, but they were both…outwardly cheerful while somewhat detached on the inside…? I couldn’t quite express it in words. So I agonized over it all through class without managing to take a single note.

When lunchtime rolled around, I grabbed my bookbag and headed to Shimamura’s desk. She greeted me as she was packing up her school supplies.

Since the start of the second semester, the two of us had spent every lunch period together. Incidentally, today we were having okonomiyaki pancakes again. There were still six more to go, and Shimamura refused to make lunch until we finished them. “After all, it’d be such a waste to throw them away,” she had said. But since she agreed to help me eat them, I couldn’t really complain.

After I sat down on the other side of her desk, we popped the lid on the Tupperware container. I had made sure to reheat the pancakes just this morning, but that was hours ago, and they had gone cold again. Nevertheless, Shimamura ate it up without complaint.

Because you made them for me, Adachi.

…Okay, she didn’t actually say that, but…I mean, she probably felt that way, right? Deep down, I was dearly hoping that was the case.

As I joylessly chewed my food, my eyes wandered to Shimamura’s lips. Those lips had pressed themselves firmly against my forehead… I couldn’t remember all the details since I was too dizzy to see straight, but I knew it definitely happened.

A feverish froth broke out all over my face, enveloping me. That angle, that sensation—it made my heart flutter. But what thrilled me most of all was that she said she’d only do it with me. She had absorbed me as a new part of herself, and now our feet were taking turns climbing the stairs… God, what am I babbling about? I wasn’t sure, but that was the imagery I got.

I hope she does it again, because this time, I’m gonna memorize every last detail, I vowed to myself. Meanwhile, my gaze was fixed on her bewitching lips. Then she noticed me looking at her.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing,” I lied hastily, shaking my head and waving my chopsticks.

“Oh, I see how it is,” she smirked. Wait, what? “Open up and say ‘ahhh’!” She plucked up a bite of okonomiyaki and held it out to me with a playful, mischievous grin.

Wh-WHAT?! HERE?!

I glanced around furtively. On one hand, it felt like nobody was looking at us, but on the other hand, it felt like everybody was looking at us. In other words, I couldn’t see a thing. As the room spun around me, I leaned forward and took the bite. Her chopsticks stabbed into my tongue.

But now that I reflected on the day’s events from the safety of my bedroom, I couldn’t help but worry that I was letting it all go to my head. I didn’t want a repeat of that time I humiliated myself over the phone, so I needed to stay on guard.

“Nope. Can’t let that happen.”

I slapped my cheeks to wipe the simpering smile off my face. Something similar almost happened at the bike racks, but I managed to stop myself, didn’t I? Clearly, I was making progress! Probably! I sat upright on the bed and clenched my hands into fists.

“…But still…”

I wilted and collapsed sideways. While I was fully aware that the blame for the incident was mine alone…who was that girl I saw her with at the festival back then? There was nothing Shimamura could say to me that would make me any less curious. I knew I needed to get over it, but after all this time, I still didn’t feel at peace.

If I had to guess, it was probably the same girl who called her the other day. Shimamura had a friendship that I wasn’t a part of. And I knew this was perfectly normal or whatever…but still! I flopped back down onto the bed and rolled back and forth, clutching my face.

Truth be told, I was afraid of the parts of Shimamura I didn’t know. I wanted to love every part of her, but to do that, I would need to know everything there was to know about her. To me, that was my life’s true purpose. But if I came on too strong, it would make her uncomfortable… It was hard to tell where the line was, and harder still to suppress these impulses I felt.

I rolled violently from side to side like I was on fire, battling my negative emotions. Eventually, once I was sure my desperate yearning had tuckered itself out, I sat back up. All that rolling around had made a mess of my hair.

“I want to see her…”

To make my dreams come true, I would need to put in the effort, one day at a time. Thus, I decided to give her a call and fill at least one of the empty spaces.

“Hello, hello! What’s up?”

Shimamura sounded like she was lounging in bed. These days, I could kinda tell, which pleased me, since it felt like proof that I had learned more about her.

“Hey, so, this Sunday…”

“What about it?”

“Let’s go on a d-date!” I stammered.

“A d-date, you say?”

“Or it could be just a regular date…with one D…”

“Ha ha ha ha! Wow, you’re so flexible!” she joked. Then, a beat later: “Sure. This Sunday, you said? Got it.”

“Okay…cool…”

“You could have waited until tomorrow and asked me at school, you know.”

A fair point. But I was dying to ask her now. “I only just thought of it is all.”

“Aha…I see. Well, gosh, I guess that’s as good of a reason as any.”

“You…you think so?” I always appreciated compliments from Shimamura, even if I didn’t always understand where they were coming from.

“So, where do you wanna go?”

“Where…?”

Where can I get you to kiss my forehead? Where do I have to take you? Where?

“Oh, god, you’re totally bugging out, aren’t you?”

Where?!

“Helloooo? Earth to Adachi!”

WHERE?!

And so a full day had passed.

Resting my elbows on my bedroom desk, I clutched my head in my hands. I could rack my brain all I wanted, but I wasn’t going to find something that wasn’t there to begin with. I contemplated it all day long until my ears started to ring, but all I achieved was a headache. I debated it over and over until I made myself sick. This was quite possibly the hardest I’d ever thought about something in all my life.

As I lay slumped over the desk, I considered getting some rest but ultimately kept agonizing over it. Did such a place even exist? Forehead Kiss Café? No such thing. Forehead Kiss Movie Theater? Boring. The Forehead Kiss Store? What would they even sell? Clearly the “forehead” thing was getting me nowhere. I would just have to rely on Shimamura’s natural height advantage—

Wait, no! I’m the one who’s taller, not her!

Despite all the head pats and reassurance tricking me into thinking otherwise, I was in fact the taller of us. Was there any date destination where I’d have to crouch down…? Ugh, what am I even talking about? What about a place where Shimamura would have to stand on tiptoe? Now I’m expecting too much.

Frankly, I was convinced that I was looking at it the wrong way. Instead of looking for a place to cater to my needs, I needed to steer things in that direction with my own two hands. What if I simply asked her to kiss my forehead? My hand gravitated toward my phone.

But then again…wouldn’t it be kinda weird? And by “kinda” I mean “extremely”? Or would it be okay? Wouldn’t be the first time she thought I was weird… Well, yeah, but I need to work on that…so maybe I shouldn’t after all? But if I don’t ask her, then I’ll have to figure something out during the date…but like what, though?

Questions swirled around and around in my mind, making me dizzy.

For now, let’s…let’s just call Shimamura.

These days, I had started to crave her voice as soon as I got home from school. Pretty sure all I ever did was look for excuses to call her. I knew she would answer regardless, but what would we talk about? I despised how downright awful I could be at small talk. If only I’d spent more time talking to people over the years—would I be any better at it? Then again, if I was that drastically different, there was no telling whether I would have met Shimamura to begin with.

For better or for worse, my choices had led to this. Me and Shimamura.

She answered the phone after a few rings. “Helloooo?”

“Uh, good evening…”

“Feels like we’ve been talking on the phone a lot lately.”

Startled, I quickly played dumb. “Have we…?”

“Not that I mind. So, what’s up today?”

“I wanted to…ask you something…”

“Oh?”

I took a deep breath, then began.

“Whasso…kyuwanna…”

“I can’t hear you.”

“Wh…sdd…mggyuwah…”

“I really can’t decipher that.”

I wanted to ask, “What sort of date would make you want to kiss my forehead?” but could only manage to mumble incoherently. (I’ll leave the rest to your imagination.) Long story short, she finally grasped what I was getting at.

“Huh?” She raised her voice, highlighting her sheer confusion. “What do you mean…? Uhhh, give me a minute.”

This was Shimamura at her most perplexed, which wasn’t surprising, given the situation. Looking back, I couldn’t explain why I said it. But the fact of the matter was, it was keeping me up at night. Clearly, something was wrong with my brain.

In the end, I chose to ask her directly.

“So basically, you want me to kiss your forehead?”

“…Yeah…”

“Silly. All you have to do is ask and I’ll… Wait…”

“All I have to do is ask?!” I repeated eagerly.

“Actually, I changed my mind.”

“Wha?!”

“Well, you said you’re going to convince me during the date, right?” she teased.

Rrrrgh! “Yeah, but I don’t think it’ll work…which is why I asked…”

“Just do your best!” she replied casually.

Easy for you to say! Grrrrrrr! I flailed my arms in frustration. That being said, however, I didn’t want to beg like a loser. If at all possible, I wanted to earn my reward. And if Shimamura was rooting for me in any capacity, then I wanted to try to meet her expectations.

After the phone call, I checked my call history. Nothing but Shimamura all the way down. I counted them all in my head and finally realized just how many phone calls we’d been having lately.

“Hee hee…hee hee hee…”

But I didn’t have time to sit around and giggle. I turned to the calendar and started counting. Sunday was six entire days away—my punishment for being too impatient to wait until Friday to ask her. Still, it didn’t feel like enough time.

What do I do? What do I do? What would I do normally? What do I do?

“I could…smear whipped cream on my forehead…?”

It was an idiotic idea conceived by the queen of all idiots. In my despair, I buried my face in my hands and listened to the clock ticking.

For better or for worse, time wasn’t going to wait for me.

 

***

 

After school, I suppressed the urge to fling myself into Shimamura’s arms and speedily left the classroom. When I looked over my shoulder, I caught her staring wide-eyed at me. Then she waved goodbye, so I waved back. I was really tempted to go to her, but I bit it back and headed off to the bookstore.

I sincerely doubted that any modern magazine would have specific advice on how to get a girl to kiss me on the forehead during a date, but I was desperately hoping I might find some sort of hint somewhere. I still had yet to decide where we were going. I couldn’t keep taking her to the mall every time or it would lose its novelty…but at the same time, this backwoods town didn’t offer a lot of variety.

Internally, I was panicking, but it helped to have an objective in mind. Only now did I become cognizant of the weight in my limbs that would otherwise go unnoticed. I fought it with every motion, urging myself onward. Believe it or not, it was strangely fulfilling. I could feel a strong connection between myself and my bike.

I crossed over the bridge and arrived at the old bookstore, a fairly large brick-red building. After they banned customers from “sampling” the books prior to purchase, I started to notice a few empty spaces in the previously packed parking lot. The big building next door used to sell video games and CDs, but at some point, it had turned into a pharmacy.

I walked in and milled around the first floor. The second floor was where they kept the reference books, manga, and school supplies, so I had no reason to go up there today. I hadn’t been here in quite some time; I didn’t read many books, and I didn’t study enough to warrant new school supplies. Would they have magazines explicitly focused on dating?

Indeed they did, and explicit they were. My face flushed before I could grab anything off the shelf.

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting to find what I was looking for this quickly. I grabbed the one that was positioned in the front at eye level: The Complete Guide to Girlfriends. Would something like this work? In my case, I wanted to know what sorts of dates girls would like—more specifically, dates Shimamura would like. After all, I wanted her to have a fun time, whether I achieved my goal or not.

“Oho…”

Just then, I heard a voice from directly behind me. My mind went blank. Heart pounding in my chest, I whirled around to find yet another surprise waiting for me: a face inches from mine. And judging from the way she was squinting at me, her eyesight was truly terrible.

“Chee-chee, it’s you! I knew it!”

She slid her glasses on to confirm. Personally, I would have appreciated it if she’d put them on a lot sooner.

“Uh…hi, Nagafuji…” Was I supposed to call her “Nagafuji-san” to be polite? We weren’t especially close, but we weren’t total strangers either… I wasn’t sure how to gauge the distance between myself and someone who wasn’t Shimamura.

But Nagafuji didn’t seem to care. She peered down at the magazine in my hands—oh, crap. I felt my palms start to sweat. The longer I stood here holding this stupid thing, the more likely it would create some sort of misunderstanding! Not that it was a misunderstanding, but…you know what I mean!

“Got a hot d-date?”

“Uhhh…don’t worry about it. So, uh, where’s Hino?”

“Went home early for ‘family business.’ But I do not have any family business!”

Why did she sound so proud of this detail? Also, if she walked all the way here on foot, then how did she get here so soon after me? This girl was an enigma all around.

“Incidentally, I don’t have any business with you either, Chee-chee.”

“Oh…okay…”

What a weirdo. But…maybe if I ask her for advice, she could help me. Surely, she and Hino kiss each other on the forehead, right? Don’t they seem like the type? I didn’t have anyone better to ask, so I decided to take this as a sign from God or whoever. I pointed down at the magazine I was holding.

“So, totally unrelated to this,” I began, though it was possible my disclaimer only made it even more obvious.

“Totally unrelated. Got it.”

Did she really believe me that easily? At least, it sounded like she believed me… I couldn’t really tell from her expression. She was hard to read, kind of like Shimamura was, but not quite.

“Yeah, totally unrelated, but uh…”

“It’s about Shimamura, right?”

I didn’t get that far yet!

“I was wondering, you know, what sort of location might…put Shimamura in the mood to do a favor for me…” How could I explain it to her without going into detail? This conversation was so roundabout, I might as well have taken a detour to Russia. My panic dripped down my body in the form of a cold sweat.

“Ah, I get it. So it’s a competition.”

“What? A competition? Why would you think that?”

I had barely explained anything, and yet she seemed to instantly understand. In her own mind, at least. “I’m sure of it,” she declared firmly.

Where did she get this unwavering confidence when she almost certainly didn’t know the whole story? She wasn’t just being stubborn either. My only conclusion was that she hadn’t put a single ounce of thought into it.

“And if you win, then you get to ask Shimamura for a favor, right? I understand completely.” She nodded so absently, I was convinced she wasn’t listening anymore.

“No, it’s not a competition—well, okay. Maybe it could be…?”

“It can be! Don’t worry!”

About what? Granted, it seemed like this would steer the conversation in the direction I wanted, but…how did she arrive at “a competition,” anyway?

“If you want to defeat Shimamura, then I have a suggestion.”

“Uh…okay…?”

“Make it a boomerang-throwing competition.”

At first, I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly. Boomerang-throwing competition? “…Why?”

“I doubt she’s been practicing, so if you train up a little, you can beat her.”

“Beat her…with the boomerang?”

“Good girls don’t hit their friends with boomerangs,” she scolded me, swinging her arms in an alternating pattern. “Oh, but I guess you’re not a good girl, huh? I forgot.”

“No, I…I quit being a delinquent.” Not that I ever set out to be one in the first place.

“In that case, you can’t hit people. Now, there are a few different ways to compete with boomerangs—”

“I don’t need you to explain it. I’m not doing it.”

“First things first, let’s go buy you a boomerang of your own.” She grabbed me by the shoulder and started to drag me off.

“Wait a minute, wait a minute!” I resisted until she stopped. “For the record…I do technically own a boomerang.” Shimamura had given me one as a Christmas present. But I only ever used it as a decoration on my shelf.

“Really?” She looked at me, her eyes sparkling. “Do you play?”

“Not at all.” I shook my head.

“Oh, okay.” Her gaze wandered from left to right, and after a beat, she seemingly forgot everything I said. “If you want to beat Shimamura, boomerang throwing is your best bet! I’ll even coach you myself!”

“What? You’ll coach me?”

“Well, you wanna win, right? Then you need some coaching! Yup!”

Where did that come from? I was still so full of questions, and yet Nagafuji seemed to have it all worked out.

“Now then, Chee-chee, we’d better get started!”

“Huh? Oh…uh…okay…?”

“Go drop your stuff off at home. You know the park that’s right around the corner? Yeah? Perfect! Let’s both grab our boomerangs and meet back up over there!”

Something about this didn’t feel right, but Nagafuji clearly wasn’t taking no for an answer. As I grappled with my total inability to assert boundaries, the two of us briefly parted ways, leaving me alone with my misgivings.

A boomerang date? Seriously?

Additionally, the fact that she called me “Chee-chee” the entire time suggested that she had once again forgotten what my name was.

 

***

 

“Glad you could make it, Chee-chee!”

Yep. She’s completely forgotten my actual name.

I was still wearing my school uniform, but Nagafuji had changed clothes. She was now wearing a shirt that read INSTRUCTOR. I decided not to comment on it.

This park was located next to the shopping mall (assuming it was big enough to count as one) and we were the only two people out here. Partly because it was a weekday, but also, kids just didn’t seem to play in parks much these days. Sign of the times.

All that aside—I really never imagined I’d ever use this thing as anything more than a decoration. When I showed it to her, she murmured approvingly, tweaking its arms. But after a moment she paused and tilted her head.

“Huh? Wait a minute… Is this…?”

“Something wrong with it?”

“Nah, it’s no big deal. Now, then, time to tune it up!”

I stood there and watched as she twisted its arms back and forth, making minute adjustments. “Um…thanks for helping me,” I muttered shyly, shoulders hunched.

Scoffing, she thrust out her ample chest and flat tummy, and I quickly realized what she was getting at.

“Thanks for helping me…Instructor,” I corrected myself.

“Heh heh heh.”

Apparently, she liked it. Was that the whole reason she was helping me? To get me to call her Instructor? As for her boomerang, there were holes in each of its three arms.

“There you go! It’s been fine-tuned for maximum aerodynamic lift,” she explained.

“Whoa.” That sounded hardcore. Not that I had any interest in becoming a boomerang athlete or whatever.

“Now, the trick is to hold it gently, flick it lightly, and try to give it a lot of spins.”

“Hmm.”

“It’s all about the spins!”

“……”

“Sorry, I’ve just always wanted to say that.”

“Oookay, then.”

“Basically, you want to aim for a logarithmic spiral with the golden ratio—eh, whatever. The most important part is, throw it vertically,” she explained as she handed my “fine-tuned” boomerang back to me. It felt like I’d heard it all before somewhere.

The park was separated from the river by a single unpaved trail, and the only shelter was a single patio umbrella in the rest area. Needless to say, it was a safe place to throw a boomerang or two.

“If you don’t throw it correctly, you could really hurt yourself, so be sure to focus.”

“Got it.” As instructed, I held it vertically in my left hand.

“It’s the world’s first girls’ boomerang light novel!”

Are you going to let me focus or not?

“Wait, what? Chee-chee, are you left-handed?” she asked suddenly.

“Yeah.”

“In that case, I actually gotta tune it the other way around. Lemme borrow it again.”

I handed it back to her, and she switched the direction of the arms.

“Hmmm…”

Admittedly, I didn’t understand much about Nagafuji, but she sincerely seemed to want more people to throw boomerangs with her. Maybe Hino refused to play with her…? Evidently, there were some things that even the best of friends couldn’t share together. In that case, I was likely going to have my work cut out for me trying to share every little thing with Shimamura.

“Which way is the wind blowing…? This way. Okay, throw it this way.”

With the re-tuning complete, she returned my boomerang. Then she tested the wind, and once she was sure, she pointed in the direction she wanted me to throw. This boomerang stuff sure is complicated. I thought you just kinda threw it and that’s it.

“Remember, it’s not about force. The spins are what make it fly.”

There she goes, babbling about something again.

I made my throw without too much effort. The lightweight boomerang quickly left my hand, and I was startled to see just how high it flew. It sliced diagonally through the air, did a little lap around the park, then arced back toward me. How does it know to come back anyway? So odd, I thought idly to myself.

But although it was headed in my direction, it was a considerable distance off the mark. I followed it with my eyes as I ran sideways, then reached out and clapped it between my palms just in time. I must have looked pretty stupid practically diving for it, but whatever. Good enough, right?

When I walked back over with the boomerang, Nagafuji nodded in satisfaction. “No complaints!”

“Huh?”

“My little baby bird’s already leaving the nest…”

She smiled wistfully at me like I was her disciple. I thought this was going to be a serious training session, not Boomerang 101! We’ve only been out here, like, ten minutes!

“Oh, but if I were to offer some advice…” Using her finger, she drew a circle in the dirt around me approximately twelve feet in diameter. “Try to practice until you can catch it without leaving this circle!”

“Is that how it’s supposed to be played?”

“Yup!” she nodded. “Then you and Shimamura compete to see how many times you can catch it inside the playing field. The pros only count how many times they can catch it in a row, but eh, that doesn’t really matter as long as you win.”

“Oh. Right.” Why is she so dead set on this boomerang competition? Ugh, I picked the wrong person to ask for advice. But then again, it wasn’t like I had any other ideas.

“This concludes our coaching session. Unfortunately, tomorrow I’ll be very busy entertaining Hino.”

“Oh. Okay.” Sounds like a valid reason to me.

“May victory be yours!” And with that, she ran off on foot.

Come to think of it, I seemed to recall that Nagafuji didn’t know how to ride a bike. Hence she always mooched rides from Hino. Lucky… I wish Shimamura would give me rides around town… But of course, it was far too late to pretend like I didn’t know how to ride my own bike.

With that thought, I headed over the little bridge that passed over the river…

“Nice work out there,” a voice called out of nowhere, and I whipped my head up in alarm. It was Shimamura.

“Wha?! Sh-Shimamura…?” What is she doing here?!

“Hm? Oh, I saw you and Nagafuji walking along together just now.”

“Oh…right. I-I see… Interesting…”

I was shocked. Shimamura was dressed in her street clothes, suggesting she was on her way home from an outing somewhere. But she didn’t seem to have seen what Nagafuji and I were up to at the park.

“I’m surprised—you don’t often hang out with Nagafuji, do you?”

“Yeah, uh, not often.”

She gazed at me for a long moment, and then…

“Well, just so you know, Adachi…” She walked up beside me and whispered in my ear: “You’re not allowed to cheat on me.”

I heard a whssshhh as all the blood drained from my face. Then, as she straightened up, I could see her lips curl in a most delighted smirk.

“If you’re going to set ground rules for me, then I expect you to follow them yourself, too. Otherwise it’s no fair.”

“Wh… No! That—I wasn’t—you’re my one and only!”

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much… Just kidding!”

As she giggled at my panic, I chased after her, desperate to explain myself.

 

***

 

Every now and then, I stopped to picture what life would be like if I’d never met Shimamura. I probably would have spent today like any other weekend—sitting in my room and watching the clock, unsure if I wanted it to go faster or slower. Now and then I would ask myself: What if I had never developed this ardent passion? Without it, I probably could have come to accept the target of my affection turning their attention elsewhere. I would have convinced myself that it just wasn’t meant to be.

But instead, this is where I ended up.

Her voice made my heart flutter. The thought of her filled me with a burning heat that gnawed at my insides. I was stricken with impatience and frustration, but at the same time, I felt optimistic that I could fight through it. Hesitation, resentment, and other esoteric riddles forced me to confront the outside world. All of this was caused by Shimamura. She was my everything.

And so Sunday rolled around—the day of our date.

My body ached from sleep deprivation, but this always happened whenever I agreed to meet up with Shimamura on a weekend, so I was getting used to it. Before now, the two of us had only ever “hung out,” but today we were “going on a date.” Anyone would be nervous in my shoes. My skin and eyes were so dry, I could practically hear the sand rustling. Was I forgetting to blink again?

Rows of cirrocumulus clouds lined the mackerel sky—yet another sign that autumn was on its way. It was in the lingering heat of autumn that Shimamura and I first met, and this year, autumn would see our relationship continue to evolve. So what did next autumn have in store for us? I couldn’t even begin to imagine.

That being said…was it the right choice to spend all my date prep time throwing my boomerang around? Or had Nagafuji steered me in the wrong direction? She almost certainly had, but only the boomerang tucked in my bookbag knew for sure.

We had agreed to meet up in front of a moderately tacky sports gym—the one I visited with Shimamura a while back—but when I first told her, she didn’t sound too enthused about it over the phone. “Oh. Hmm. Nah, it’s fine, but… Well, whatever,” she had said. This was very concerning to me.

Then, before long, she arrived, bookbag slung over her shoulder. “Yoo-hoo!”

“Wow…”

When I paused to take a good look at her, it quickly became apparent that she was adorable from head to toe. Her shoulders, legs, hips—her clothes did nothing to conceal how perfect they were. Even the soles of her shoes were cute…uh…probably. God, I’m such a terminal case.

“Good m—”

But before I could finish saying hi, she suddenly leaned in close.

“Wh-what is it?”

She was standing on tiptoe, examining my forehead up close. Was the big moment already here?! My fingers quivered.

“Oh. Disappointing.” She lowered herself back down again.

“Wh-what is?”

“I half-expected you to smear honey up there or something.”

I promptly started choking.

“Oh, no! Adachi, are you coming down with something?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted, waving a hand dismissively. But for the record, I decided to ask: “Wh-what if I did have honey smeared on my forehead…?”

“I would have told you to go wash it off. So where are you taking me? The gym?”

“This way.”

We crossed two streets, turned the corner, and quickly arrived at the municipal athletic field. Fortunately, there were no clubs or corporate sports teams scheduled to practice today, so the place was empty, save for some kids playing catch over in the corner.

“You’re not gonna invite me to play one-on-one soccer or something, are you?” Shimamura asked skeptically.

Was it just me, or did I detect a hint of nostalgia in her voice and gaze? Maybe it was a game she used to play with someone a long time ago. Her younger sister? Or that girl I didn’t know? The thought made me grit my teeth.

“Here.” I pulled the boomerang out of my bookbag and hesitantly held it out. Her eyes widened ever so slightly.

“Oh, now I get it.”

“Get what…?”

“I think I know where you got your inspiration for this, that’s all. So you wanted to throw it around and relive our childhoods?”

“I wanted to…have a competition…and if I win…” Mumble, mumble.

She looked at the boomerang in my hand. “A competition,” she repeated carefully. Then she smirked in understanding. “Adachi, you little cheat! I bet you got a ton of practice in beforehand, didn’t you?”

I started to choke again. Unsurprisingly, she had seen right through me. Now what? If she refused, it would mean I’d wasted the entire past week leading up to this!

“You really put effort into this. I’m proud.”

…Wait, what? She’s proud of me?

“Okay, then! If you can make a good throw and catch it afterward, I guess I could be convinced.” With that, she sat down on a nearby bench.

…Wait, what? That’s it? Is she being nice and making it easy for me? No, that can’t be it. She’s not like that, I cautioned myself. Shimamura’s idea of “being nice” was ever so slightly different.

“You only get one shot at it, okay?” She snickered cruelly.

See what I mean?! One shot! I had grasped the basics during practice, but I wasn’t 100 percent confident. There was a chance I could screw up.

“It’s not like if I mess up, you’ll never kiss my forehead ever again…right?”

“I don’t knoooow…” She smirked widely. Is it just me, or has she been smiling more often lately? Normally, it was charming, but right now, she was being downright mean.

I wiped my palms off on my clothes, then stared straight ahead. I couldn’t afford to slip up. As my heart raced and my body tensed up, I eased into my throwing stance and braced myself. My palms were already sweaty again, and now the boomerang was sweaty too. My instructor’s voice echoed in my ears: Focus. Remember to breathe. Remember to relax. It’s all in the spins.

It was kind of distracting, actually.

I prayed for my boomerang to fly high. Then my knees stiffened as I shifted my weight…and took the shot.

Go, go, go!

The boomerang soared. Now I just needed to catch it.

Calmly, carefully, I followed its trajectory with my eyes. But then the boomerang—and the scenery around it—began to warp. I was so nervous, my field of vision was narrowing, and I was getting distracted by the sound of my own heavy breathing.

Get it together! This is the moment of truth! As I psyched myself up, I kept watching the boomerang. Nothing else mattered; I didn’t even care if there was a meteor crashing to Earth right on top of me. My vision had turned red, but I didn’t care about that either. I focused only on the most important point. That was how I lived my life.

The boomerang arced back toward me. My throw had met the basic prerequisite. Now came the hard part.

There! I dashed sideways in tandem with the boomerang. Then I reached out to secure my future, just like that one guy with the seeds from Fist of the North Star. My body stretched—my arms stretched—and then—

Clap!

Shimamura…caught…the boomerang…from the bench.

“…Oh, sorry! It was right in front of me, so my reflexes kinda kicked in…”

The sweat on my back trickled down all at once in a single shudder. Her gaze darted to and fro as she fiddled with the boomerang’s arms.

“It was, uhhh…you know…a group effort! Love and teamwork!”

“Uh…y-yeah…that. Totally.” Does this count, though? Does it count or what?! The sweat that dripped from my nose was burning hot and threatening to evaporate.

“So is this the end of the date?” she asked.

“Uhhhhh…well…”

And so it was revealed: I was so focused on my short-term objective, I had completely forgotten to plan anything else.

“You may not have much in the way of forethought, but I don’t mind.”

She noticed my silence and glossed over it, smiling awkwardly. But “I don’t mind” was decidedly not the same as “I like it,” so I shrank into myself.

“Well, let’s see… First, we should eat something, since it’s lunchtime and all,” she continued, without checking the time whatsoever. She was the one who picked our meetup time; could she have anticipated that my “date plans” would end quickly? I couldn’t help but interpret this as a kind gesture, and it warmed my heart.

“Should I go buy us something? Or would you rather go to a sit-down place? Oh, um, it’ll be my treat. I mean, I have plenty of money, so yeah…” My savings account was still quite robust, since I had nothing to spend it on.

“Now hold on, Adachi. You don’t think I’m some kind of gold digger, do you?” She frowned as if mortally offended.

Suppressing the impulse to correct the record, I instead opted for a more playful response and recoiled melodramatically. “Wait…y-you’re not?!”

“Oh, I most certainly am.”

“Wha?!” I was joking, but she totally called my bluff. I froze.

“Just kidding. Anyway, turns out you’re loaded, huh? Interesting.” I could practically feel her gaze trailing over my jaw and temples, and it tickled. “You’re pretty, and you’re rich, and…uhhh…pretty…”

“What?”

“Yep, you’re a keeper! I’ve got such good taste!” She laughed so widely, I could see the backsides of her teeth.

“Ha ha…ha…ha ha…” Awkwardly, I forced myself to laugh along with her. It felt like she was saying my only good points were my looks and my money, but it gave me warm fuzzies all the same.

“And here, you used to send me to fetch your lunch for you back when we first met…”

“Huh?!”

“Anyway, no, you don’t have to go buy anything.”

“…Huh?” I froze mid-jog, facing the exit. She dug through her bookbag, then raised something over her head.

“Ta-daaa! I packed a lunch for us! Just like I promised!” She offered me a smile and a sandwich covered in cling wrap.

“Oh…”

Overcome with emotion, my words idled in my throat and refused to come out. Weakly, I staggered to the bench and collapsed down onto it.

“It’s nothing fancy, though. I only know how to make, like, basic stuff.”

She giggled casually in an attempt to play it off. It worked, of course. As she unwrapped the sandwiches, they seemed to light up with all the colors of the rainbow.

“Wow…!”

“Here you goooo!”

She handed me an egg salad sandwich; I started to take it, but then realized she was holding it up to my mouth. Oh, I get it. I leaned forward and took a bite.

“How is it?”

The back of my throat burned hot. The flavor was…honestly kind of bland. “It’s…it’s really…super-duper good!”

“Ha ha! You’re such a bad liar.”

She saw through me instantly. Nevertheless, I opened my mouth again and prompted her for more.

“Heh. Well, it’s still nice to hear, even if you’re just being polite.”

Pleased, she held out the rest of the sandwich. Unfortunately, I chose that exact moment to lean forward, and as a result, she inadvertently stuffed it down my throat.

“Mmffg!” Half-choking, I struggled to avoid showing any outward discomfort as I chewed. Then, as I swallowed, I stared down at the ground. “Hey, um…Shimamura? Can I ask you something?”

“What might that be?”

I figured I should probably ask while she was in a good mood…or would it ruin the moment completely? Unable to decide, I ultimately asked the question that had plagued my mind for an eternity:

“That, uh, girl you were with at that other festival that happened a while ago—who is she?” Realizing I was rambling, I took a breath, and added, “Just wondering.” I started to hang my head, but caught myself and forced myself to look at her.

Her smile was in the process of fading, but she answered nonetheless. “An old friend,” she sighed. “She invited me to go, so I said yes.”

An “old friend”? As in, before you knew me? You never mentioned anything about an old friend before. This is the first I’ve heard about her. Why keep it a secret? You didn’t feel like you needed to tell me? But I’m your girlfriend! Maybe I wasn’t always, but I am now, so…so…!

I could feel my face starting to crumple, and if that happened, I was sure to start crying. And that would ruin everything. My meager few months of experience with Shimamura cautioned me to rein myself in. I took a deep breath to get my voice and emotions under control. Then, once I had regained a modicum of composure…

“From now on…can you only do that stuff with…with me?” Timidly, I peered at her.

“Hmmm…” She smiled awkwardly as her gaze wandered. “I swear, you’re such a little handful.”

She stroked my hair like she was tickling the ivories of a piano; at first, her fingers flinched back, but then her caress deepened. Grrrr… Biting back my frustration, I decided to address the remaining elephant in the room—

“What are you pouting about now?”

Evidently, my displeasure had shown itself on my face.

“Shimamura…you always treat me like a little kid.”

“Do I?” She didn’t seem aware that she was doing it; she withdrew her hand and gazed down at her palm. “Well, whenever I look at you, I feel…protective? I guess?”

“I don’t like it.” I knew she was just trying to be affectionate, but an inexplicable sense of aversion took precedence inside me. At least for now, I was craving something different.

Pinching her lower lip between her fingers, Shimamura gazed at me pensively. “Okay, then. How should I treat you?”

There was a hint of playfulness in her tone, as if she knew the answer and had chosen to ask anyway. I shot her a look that said, “Do I have to spell it out?” She returned it with a smile that said “Yes. Yes, you do.”

Uggghhh.

“Like a…g-girlfriend…”

“Oho, I see. Like a girlfriend.” She rose to her feet and walked in front of me. Then she put her hands on my shoulders, blocking out the sun. “Like this?”

Reflexively, I swallowed the last traces of the sandwich. “Yeah…like that…”

My shoulders started to ache; my throat was tight, and my stomach felt constricted.

“Do it s-slow, okay?”

This time, I wanted to watch every last moment and sear it into my eyelids.

“Slow? Okay, then, nice and slow…”

She leaned in, one agonizing centimeter at a time. So slow, in fact, I thought she might go for my lips instead. My fingers wriggled like worms against the bench. Then she combed my bangs up and pressed her lips firmly against my forehead.

The blood throbbed in my veins in a single coagulated mass. Deep down, I thought I heard a voice— a mysterious voice far deeper than my own—singing “Hallelujah!” over and over. My vision blurred. Then, gradually, Shimamura’s outline reappeared, as if she had surfaced from the depths of the water.

“Is that what you wanted? Gosh, this is so embarrassing…”

Scratching her cheek, she started to pull away—but I grabbed her hand. Then I looked up, directly into her eyes, and told her everything that was in my heart.

“I love you.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“I’m crazy about you.”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Stay with me forever.”

“…Okay.”

Though I tried to think of the perfect words, I could only manage to string together a bunch of worn-out clichés. But in the end, my girlfriend accepted each and every one of them with a smile.