Chapter 2: Our First Trip Part 1

Chapter 2:
Our First Trip
Part 1

 

WHEN I GOT HOME, I found Yashiro toddling down the hallway. Yesterday, she was munching on black edamame beans, but today, she was carrying an entire bunch of bananas. Constantly eating something, this kid. The bright yellow peels paired nicely with her sparkly blue hair.

“Eeeeek!”

For some reason, as soon as our eyes met, she turned and fled back down the hall. Confused, I kicked my shoes off at the door and followed after her. Apparently, she wasn’t trying too hard to escape me, because I quickly caught up to her. Then I grabbed her by the scruff of the neck.

“Gyaaah!”

“Why are you running from me?”

“No real reason.”

“That’s what I thought.” I knew she wasn’t really the type to avoid someone.

Flailing her legs, she started to unpeel one of her bananas. Her diligent little fingers reminded me of my sister when she was a bit younger. She was a bit more direct with her emotions back then… Honestly, both of us were. But now she seemed to be following in my footsteps.

“Is that your snack?” I asked.

“It is my lunch for the day.” She paused to take a bite, then exclaimed, “Tastes like destiny!”

At this time of day, it was a little late for lunch, but Yashiro didn’t seem to mind in the slightest. With every bite, her puffed cheeks wiggled happily and her lips quivered with satisfaction. At this rate, I half-expected her to eat the peel too, if I didn’t stop her.

“Bananas are very tasty.”

“Yes, I know.”

“In that case, you may have one.”

She pulled one from the bunch and handed it to me. I took it and flipped it over to find the price tag sticker still on it—the same price tags they used at the neighborhood grocery store. I couldn’t tell if these bananas were originally ours or not. Then I realized I’d seen Yashiro heading away from the kitchen when I first arrived…

Eh, whatever. I started peeling my banana.

“Is Little still not home yet?”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be home any minute now.” I’d seen clusters of grade-schoolers walking together when I was on my way here, so I figured my sister was probably in one of those groups.

I carried Yashiro to the living room, and when I sat down, she sat down with me. Side by side, the two of us ate our bananas. I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch, and the rich sweetness made my cheeks and throat tingle. Meanwhile, Yashiro finished her first banana and started peeling a second. Her body language was exactly that of a small child’s. And when I stopped to actually think about it, it was really weird that some strange kid was sitting in my house, eating our bananas.

Experimentally, I touched the soles of her outstretched feet. They were as soft as a baby’s. When I prodded her sides and her cheeks, I realized they were all just as soft. Almost like she was unaffected by time or the world in general. Not only that, but her skin was faintly chilly like morning dew.

“Mmmh?”

“What sorts of things do you think about on a daily basis?” I was curious about the inner workings of her head. And the outer workings too, of course.

“Usually, I look forward to eating lots of tasty food.”

“Ha ha ha ha! Lucky you.” Sparkles rose up in a dusty cloud as I ruffled her hair.

“That, and sometimes I wonder how my compatriots are faring.”

“Compatriots? Oh, right, I think you mentioned something about that.”

I seemed to remember her talking about it around the time we first met, but I couldn’t recall any of the details. If I had to guess, she probably meant her family. Previously, she claimed she had come here to look for them, but if so, she didn’t appear to be looking very hard.

“I hope they aren’t going hungry,” she commented matter-of-factly as she started in on her second banana. Frankly, she didn’t look that concerned. Apparently, she and her family didn’t live together…? In that case, where did she live (other than at my house)? Despite her lack of common sense, she spoke perfect Japanese…but her hair color was utterly unnatural…

Whenever I consciously contemplated the parts of Yashiro I normally turned a blind eye to, it drove home just how peculiar she was. It was possible she possessed something that didn’t yet exist in humanity’s history books…and yet here I was, interacting with her, eating a banana with her. The thought made me feel kind of cool—almost. But it was hard to feel special when I knew she spent every day eating and sleeping.

Then I heard noises at the front door and knew that my sister was home at last.

“She’s here.”

“Yaaay!” Yashiro flailed her feet in excitement.

Awww, they love each other so much…just like me and Adachi… Wait, but that would make them girlfriends! As her older sister, I think it’s a few years too early for any of that… Wait, so I’m fine with my little sister dating an alien as long as they wait a few years?!

I decided not to think about it.

“Oh, hi, Nee-chan. Hi, Yachi.”

My sister peeked into the room, her randoseru backpack slung over her shoulders. Yashiro sprang to her feet, bananas clutched in one hand, and made a beeline straight to her. Then the two of them did a chest bump. Evidently, this was their idea of a greeting.

“Here’s a banana for you too, Little.”

“Yay!” Delighted, my sister started eating right away.

“And so another little monkey joins in…”

I’d read somewhere that wild monkeys didn’t actually eat bananas at all, but whatever. As I watched over the little peas in their pod, I slumped over my desk and let out a heavy sigh. I wasn’t especially tired or anything, but nevertheless, a dull gray curtain of weariness draped over me. Was I just having a bad day? I felt totally drained, as if surrounded by boxes I needed to unpack…

“……”

On second thought, perhaps that metaphor was more fitting than I realized. High school, second year, October, Monday, after school, Adachi. When you added it all up, I had a lot on my plate.

 

***

 

October: the month of school field trips for high school second-years. A lot of schools had planned their big trips around this time, not just ours, or so I heard. Our destination was the same as last year’s trip: Kitakyushu, the northernmost city on Japan’s Kyushu Island. For an additional fee, students had the option to take a second trip abroad to one of our sister schools in places like Thailand or Australia or the United States—but honestly, I wasn’t interested. One look at my English test scores and I knew Adachi and Shimamura USA wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

With the end of the school day fast approaching, the classroom was boiling with energy and body heat. I didn’t exactly enjoy it, but I knew I’d miss it once it was gone…and winter was right around the corner… Honestly, the thought was depressing.

Over time, I had come to realize just how much I didn’t like winter. It made my body stiff and sleepy, and the time that got wasted to lethargy always seemed to leave a lot of things out to dry. In winter, I needed someone around to hold my hand so I wouldn’t freeze to death.

Then I thought about Gon, my grandparents’ dog. For now, we were still part of the same world. That alone taught me the true meaning of loneliness; with that knowledge, I would never fully shut the world out. Instead, I closed my eyes and endured the wave of emotions that crashed over me.

As I contemplated all this, the conversation at the front of the room progressed to assigning groups. We were all free to form our own as long as it had five members total, which meant… Sure enough, when I opened my eyes, Adachi had already shot out of her seat, headed briskly in my direction. I had seen this coming, but because she was the first to move, everybody stared at her for a minute.

“What brings you here so swiftly, Adachi?”

I knew the answer to this but wanted to tease her a little. Likewise, she seemed to sense this, as she reached out and grabbed me by the arm. Her nose was flushed pink, and her nostrils flared slightly. Then her mouth began to move.

“Let’s…make a group…”

“Okay.”

Obviously, this was a foregone conclusion. The only problem was that we’d need to recruit more people to make our group official. Depending on how many students were in our class, the teacher might allow for a four- or six-person group, but definitely not just the two of us. If only Hino and Nagafuji were in our class, I thought wistfully to myself, gazing around the room as though this unreasonable wish might spontaneously be granted. The two of them were on somewhat friendly terms with Adachi, so there was a chance they’d all get along…not that they got along amazingly last time…

As my gaze darted around in search of a solution, I could feel Adachi staring passionately at me. Maybe she was just relieved to be in the same group as me. Knowing her, she had probably spent the entire morning sick with worry. Now, her gaze had softened, with no trace of tension to be seen. Should I tell her that her mouth’s hanging open?

“Why don’t you two join us?”

Just then, the Three Stooges called out to us—uh, I mean, Sancho, DeLos, and Panchos. Not their real names, of course. For some reason, maybe (read: probably) purely to be polite, they had invited us to fill out their roster. I used to talk with them on a daily basis back at the start of our second year, but it fizzled out. Mainly because of Adachi.

“Would that be okay with you?”

“Of course!”

Sancho, the one with glasses, beckoned to us amiably. Unlike Nagafuji, she actually seemed smart and capable… I mean, sure, Nagafuji looked smart on the outside, but her brain was basically made of sponge cake.

There were three of them and two of us—exactly five total. Personally, I saw no reason to decline…but of course, there was someone I was forgetting to ask.

“You’re okay with it, right, Adachi?”

“Huh?”

She was still gripping my arm, staring into space. When she snapped back to reality, she glanced around at the Trio, then at me. Her gaze was fretful, and her lips were faintly pouty. Apparently, she really wanted it to be just the two of us. This came as no surprise to me, of course, but unfortunately, it just wasn’t feasible.

I rose to my feet, stroked her hair, and asked for her clear blessing. “Are you okay with it?”

“…Yeah…”

A few head pats in and she turned into a good girl. Technically, it felt like I’d bribed her into it, but oh, well. Blushing, Adachi retracted her pouted lips ever so slightly. If I kept petting her, I could probably cancel it out completely, but we were kinda in the middle of the classroom.

As the Trio watched us in silence, I turned to them with the best smile I could manage. “This pair of misfits would be happy to join you, if you’ll have us.”

“Uh…okay,” Panchos replied stiffly. Frankly, it was a miracle they didn’t rescind their offer.

“Ha ha…”

Right now I didn’t feel much like Adachi’s girlfriend. I had gone from an older sister to a mother figure.

And so, with our groups now assigned, we were free to go home. The homeroom teacher was still talking about how to pack for the trip, but real talk: there wasn’t anything I needed to worry about packing. Heck, I wouldn’t even need my street clothes. No need to plan it all out when I could probably just wing it.

Together, Adachi and I left the classroom, but we weren’t headed home right away. Instead, we stood in the shade of the bike parking area to talk. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she wanted—no, demanded—to have a discussion.

Outside the school building, the sunshine was peaceful and the temperature was mild. I could feel summer’s decline against my skin. Tomorrow, we’d take one step closer to the desolation of winter.

“Shimamura, have you ever been to a different country?”

“What? No way,” I replied, toying with her bicycle bell. Do I look like Hino to you? “I’m not totally opposed to it, though.”

Right this moment, all over the world, there were dozens of places I’d never been. At night, while I was drowsily zoning out, all kinds of other things were happening—people laughing, celebrating, mourning, dying, or taking their first breath. There were countless stories I would never know. And when I thought of it that way, the mystery of it pulled me in like a magnet.

Now that we were away from the classroom, Adachi seemed to have recovered. At the very least, she wasn’t staring at the ground anymore.

“Where would you want to visit?”

“Oh, I don’t know… San Francisco, maybe?”

It was the first place that came to mind—I wanted to see the famous crab wheel at the Fisherman’s Wharf. Oh, and I’d heard Croatia had a lot of beautiful cities, so I was interested to see them in person sometime… Perhaps it didn’t really matter where I went as long as I could plunge headfirst into the wild blue yonder.

“Th-then let’s go there!” Adachi blurted out boldly, clutching my hand in hers.

“Go where?”

“San Fran!”

“Whoa. That’s a catchy nickname.”

Was it that simple? Could we really go to San Francisco the same way we’d go to the mall or something? No, of course not. San Francisco was farther than Tokyo—even farther than Hokkaido.

“When exactly are we going? Right now?”

“Uh…i-if you want to!”

Apparently, Adachi was dead-set on going on a trip with me. I chuckled. “Nah, I don’t think so.”

We had school tomorrow, and I didn’t have a passport…or, you know, money for an international plane ticket. The average high-schooler couldn’t just hop on a plane for a spontaneous getaway for an afternoon or a weekend—especially not to San Francisco. Maybe in ten years or something.

“Hmmm…”

Ten years from now, Adachi would probably still want to be with me…but would I still be with Adachi? I had no way of knowing, but I agonized over it regardless. Anything that wasn’t explicitly cut and dried felt deep and philosophical to me.

“Shimamura?”

Adachi peered at me curiously, and I realized I must have spaced out again. I started to wave a dismissive hand, but then…she started fidgeting back and forth.

“It…it’s not nice to space out in…the middle of our…conversation,” she stammered weakly, her momentum bogged down in molasses. As I gazed back at her, her cheeks promptly flushed pink, the color slowly spreading across her entire face. If I touched her, maybe my fingers would turn pink too.

“Ha ha ha! I love it when you do that.”

“Wh-when I do what?”

“When you try to force a joke. It’s so cute!”

At this, the pink deepened to red—so bright, not even the shade from the overhang could hide it. She was easy to read in every possible way. Straightforward and unwavering.

“I’m…not forcing it, though…”

“What? You’re not? Okay, then, keep ’em coming. I look forward to it!” I laughed.

Backed into a corner, she started to whimper. This too was totally precious.

“Adachi, you scored higher than me on the English test, didn’t you?” In fact, I was pretty sure she scored higher than me on basically every test. Pretty impressive stuff…or maybe I was just really unimpressive.

“I think…you’re smarter than I am, though.” Her eyes darted restlessly as she attempted to flatter me in turn.

“Don’t be silly!” Grinning, I clapped her on the shoulder. It made me realize how much taller she was than me. “I’ll count on you to interpret for me.”

“I…I’ll try my best!”

I was joking, but Adachi took me very seriously.

“What, really? Not gonna suggest we study together or something?”

“Oh… That’s way better! Let’s do that!” she agreed, shaking our joined hands.

“Sure, I could go for that.” I was open to the prospect of expanding my knowledge. That was the kind of optimistic attitude I wanted to maintain going forward.

After a constructive (?) conversation with Adachi…

“Well, then, wanna head home?”

“Okay.”

“…Okay, then!” I raised our joined hands. It felt like an anchor, pinning me in place. “Let me go, please!”

“Nnn,” she grunted faintly. I could practically hear the joints in her arm creaking stubbornly. “Nnnng…!” Her brow furrowed tightly as her arm shook. What is she DOING? Then she used her free hand to pry her fingers away from mine, one by one. She didn’t seem to be playing around, either. Oh, good grief.

“Are you seriously stuck?”

“I think so,” she conceded quietly. But she didn’t sound guilty about it in the least—rather, the smile on her face suggested she was quite pleased. She was enjoying this. She didn’t even seem to care that we were in public. As for me, well…I was used to it, I guess.

Eventually, she managed to pry herself off.

“See you.” I waved my newly freed hand. She slowly waved back, and then—

“Uh…goodbye,” she replied. In English.

“Huh?”

This caught me completely off-guard. Meanwhile, she raced off on her bike. I burst out laughing. “Hey!” I called after her in English. “Let’s see, uh… Have a nice day! Did I get that right?”

Honestly, she probably couldn’t hear me. But with this, we had officially started practicing English. How very ambitious of us.

 

***

 

So yeah, that was what happened on my way home after school. I was feeling kinda exhausted after all the social interaction that took place during the field trip group assignment. Once the trip finally rolled around, there was no guarantee that Adachi wouldn’t simply take my hand and run off with me. Would I have to play referee between her and the Trio the entire time? What am I, her little messenger boy?

“Blegh.”

I knew I shouldn’t complain, but to be clear, I was no social butterfly myself. Even if Adachi couldn’t be everybody’s best friend, I really wished she could be just a tiny bit more amiable. That said, her complete and utter disinterest was still…you know…cute. Entertaining. Appealing. Like most of her personality traits. Either way, my primary goal was simply to have fun with her.

Wait—why did I say “messenger boy” when I’m a girl…? Never mind. It doesn’t matter.

As I lay slumped over the table, my gaze swayed absently. Whenever I had nothing to do, I was always quick to fall asleep. It was my default state. Were there people in the world who actually wanted to spend hours and hours awake and running around?

My vision blurred with my thoughts, and before long, I found myself thinking about Adachi again. She seemed really…committed, you know, like she really…loved me. At this stage, it finally felt real.

Suppose there were a button that, if pressed, would erase everyone in the world except for me and Adachi, but would give us a house with free food, clothes, and everything we needed to survive. If given the option, there was a chance Adachi would push that button. She couldn’t make it entirely on her own, but she’d probably be perfectly happy with just one other person. In a sense, maybe that was proof of her mental fortitude.

As for me, I could handle solitude, but I probably wouldn’t enjoy spending all my time with the same person. I would stay alive, but I wouldn’t feel alive. I needed two, or three, or four—more than one, at the very least. So if there were a button that erased all of humanity, I would never push it.

This was what I contemplated to myself as I blearily watched the two little monkeys eat their bananas.

 

***

 

A shadow stepped out from the darkness and approached—a blue shadow. Who’s that? I wondered as I stood there, staring blankly. But I felt no fear, for the shadow wasn’t hostile. It merely flailed, demanding my attention. Then, before I could try to determine who it was, the shadow vanished. In its place, a pointed sound pushed up my eyelids and eyebrows.

My body felt warm and heavy, like I’d just drank a tubful of bathwater. This was how I always felt whenever I didn’t get enough sleep. I could feel my body fluctuating back and forth between dreams and reality, and the back of my throat was mildly warm, like a sip of tea. I wasn’t sleepy—just lethargic.

I’d fallen asleep sitting at the living room coffee table; what woke me was the sound of my phone ringing from inside my bookbag. Who could it be? I rolled over, reached out, and attempted to grab my bag. After a few failed attempts, I flailed my hand harder and harder, pulling a muscle in the process, but whatever. I grabbed it, rolled onto my back, and opened my bag.

In this position, I was reminded of the sea otter plushie my parents bought me from Toba Museum—the one holding the little seashell on its tummy. What ever happened to that thing? It wasn’t in my room anywhere. Now I was tempted to go looking for it. But first, the phone call. I checked the screen to find that it wasn’t Adachi.

“Oh, hey, it’s Taru-chan,” I commented to myself in a goofy voice. My legs flailed like a dying fly’s, as I spent about five seconds looking for an excuse not to answer. Coward.

When I answered the phone, Tarumi spoke right away: “What’s up?”

This was her default greeting. She didn’t really say “Hello” or “How are you?” or “Pleasant tidings.” Then again, did anyone say that last one? Maybe a rich girl like Hino could get away with it. Ironically, Hino was more likely to say “Yo” or “’Sup.”

Anyway.

“Hey, hey!”

“So, uhhhh…how’s it going?”

“Oh, I was taking a nap just now, so I’d say things are going great!”

Tarumi laughed. “You sure do love to sleep, don’t you, Shima-chan?”

“Yup. Well, I mean, I don’t know if I love it. It just sorta happens, you know?” I replied in a joking tone.

“There’s nothing wrong with that,” she told me in her most understanding voice.

“Wait…really?” You sure you guys aren’t letting me off easy?

“If it’s what your heart wants, then that’s all that matters…or at least, it’s really important… You know, that kind of thing.” This was an uncharacteristically serious answer from Tarumi of all people. She fumbled the wording a little, but I could tell that she sincerely meant it. Almost like maybe she was talking about something else entirely. “Sorry, I can’t seem to think of the right words today.”

“No, no, it’s totally fine.” I could see what she was getting at, and besides, if she put too fine a point on it, it might come across as preachy. Emotions were better off vague and fuzzy, rather than sharp and clear.

“Oh, yeah, so our school is doing a big field trip soon,” she continued, changing the subject.

“Really? Ours is, too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yup! Where are you guys headed?”

“Tokyo.”

“Didney Worl?”

“No, we’re not going to Dizzy Whirl.”

Weird how neither of us managed to say that copyrighted name correctly!

“What about you, Shima-chan?”

“Kitakyushu.”

“Ohhh, like over by Fukuoka?”

“Yeah, yeah. Then after that we’ll go to Nagasaki and…Kumamoto, I think?” I explained, trying to recall the itinerary from memory. For one night, we’d be staying at a hot spring inn too. I bet it’ll smell like sulfur.

“Are you flying there, or…?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Guess I’ll pray you don’t crash!”

“Gee, thanks.”

She fell silent for a moment. “Hey, um…”

“Yeah?”

“Once we both get back from our trips…um…wanna hang out again?”

So this was the real reason she called. Likewise, I was keenly aware of how long it had been since the last time we saw each other. So I started to say yes…but I could feel a certain someone holding me back, telling me not to cheat on her. I was anchored to the ocean floor, unable to come up for air.

Yeah…I guess I probably shouldn’t.

But I couldn’t quite bring myself to explain everything and sever the friendship, either. So instead…

“Maybe sometime.”

I didn’t agree to it or tell her I would think about it. It was an evasive, cowardly answer. And so, with the question left hanging in the air, I ended the call. Then I stared down at the screen and realized I’d only dozed off for a few minutes at most.

I set my phone down and glanced around. Yashiro was lying on a yellow cushion on the floor, watching a news feature about big-city bakeries. Every time the products were shown on screen, she squealed and kicked her legs in excitement. I looked down and saw that her bananas had been reduced to discarded peels, lying in a pile on the table.

Meanwhile, my sister was peering into her little fish tank and watching her fish. She really loved to take care of them. Plus, she always acted like a big sister around Yashiro too. As I zoned out, I slumped forward and pressed my forehead back to the table.

“Uggghhh…”

If I asked Adachi, would she give me permission to hang out with Tarumi? No, she’d probably just get mad at me. Not that I had any intention of “cheating” at all, but still, I’d feel guilty going behind her back. To Adachi, it was an unforgivable crime to have any other relationships, even if they were platonic. She was just that obsessed with me. And I was okay with that, but at the same time…

“Love is hard…”

If our love was an anchor, then Adachi was the sea, and I was drowning.

In relationships, did most people look for a partner who possessed the same qualities they did? Or did they look for someone who possessed all the things they were missing? Which was less toxic? Which was “healthy” or “normal”?

Would Tarumi and I fall out of contact again? Just when we had overcome the massive hurdle between us, now another one had taken its place, like the ebb and flow of the tide. Why was life always so complicated? I had fought my way through so many of these problems before now, but clearly, those lessons hadn’t taught me anything! I rolled my eyes at myself.

To this very day, I still didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I could kinda see the answer in the distance, but I had no clue how to get there from here. And if I couldn’t even see ten seconds into the future, then San Francisco in ten years from now was completely out of the picture.

“Only one thing I can do…”

If I didn’t feel comfortable talking about Adachi, then I needed to work on that.

 

That night, I combed through every inch of my room, looking for that sea otter plushie. My sister got annoyed with me, but I ignored her and emptied the contents of every drawer in my search. Unfortunately, I came up empty-handed.

 

***

 

I didn’t have many special memories of the school trips I had been on in the past. They just weren’t that special. Anything at that level was just a blip in my memory bank; all that mattered to me now was the thrill of the present day and the weight of my body.

All day long, flowers bloomed in my mind—all of them warm colors like red and yellow. I could practically smell their sweet perfume… Every passing minute was spent enduring a deep restlessness in my chest. For me, spring had come early.

Before now, I had never known the beauty of flowers or the intensity of their fragrance, and for a while I wasn’t sure what to do…but when I paused for a moment to truly take it all in, my heart grew soft, and I became enraptured by the scent. Over time, I started to realize: this is what happiness feels like.

I was going on a trip with Shimamura. Every time I pictured it, I squealed and giggled under my breath. Obviously, something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t explain it if I tried. I was so fidgety, I kept looking in the mirror. Naturally, I looked like a freak.

Still, there was one thing that gave me pause: Ideally, I wanted it to be just us. Especially since it was our first-ever trip together! I agonized over it as I headed to work. But right as I passed by the grocery store, I spotted a familiar figure sitting out front, behind a table with a crystal ball—

“Oh.”

It was that weird fortune-teller, sitting tall and dignified in the middle of the parking lot…and yet I had a feeling she didn’t have permission to be there. Before I could react, however, our eyes met. Then she jumped to her feet and started waving like crazy.

“Hiiii! Hi, there, friend!”

Don’t start with me. I averted my eyes and kept going.

“I said hold it, you!” She ran up in front of me—how did she manage to be faster than my bike?!

“…Do you need something?” Now that the two of us were face to face, I realized she was actually shorter than me.

“Boy, am I glad to see you! Konnichiwa, my tomodachi!”

“I’m not your tomodachi.”

But she didn’t listen. Instead, she dragged me over to her table and sat me down. Technically, I still had some time before my shift was scheduled to start, but she didn’t have to know that. I contemplated using my job as an excuse to slip away… No, she would probably start rambling fortune-telling nonsense at high speed, then force me to pay up at the end. There was simply no getting out of it.

Though she was in a new location, her crystal ball and other decorations hadn’t changed one whit. Must be nice to work wherever you want… Maybe you should invest one of those rolling carts you can pull behind you.

“Now, then.” Once she returned to her seat, the fortune-teller smirked at me through her crystal ball. “How are things going with your little girlfriend?”

It was a rather direct question, and the word girlfriend made my legs twitch under the table. Part of it was from embarrassment, but I felt giddy with accomplishment too. The wind had grown stronger with the arrival of autumn, and it tickled my cheek. “Um…good…?”

“I see, I see. So it’s been smooth sailing.”

“Uh…y-yeah.”

“No issues there?”

“Uhhh…nope!” Half-heartedly, I raised my fist.

“No complaints? Not even one?” she pressed, digging further.

“Nngh…” I faltered. “The more you keep asking, the more worried I get.”

“Good! Now maybe I can actually do my job!”

Yeah, well, your job sucks. Or maybe it’s just you. In contrast with her “friendly” voice and mannerisms, she was quick to change her tune. Hard to believe she meant a single word of it, even the sarcasm.

“Are you sure you’re not stressed about anything? Really now?” she repeated.

At this point, I could tell I wasn’t going to get out of here unless I gave her a problem to solve. Ugh, if only I’d never met her. Reluctantly, I decided to get a reading…about the world’s biggest non-issue.

“…Well, it’s about the big school trip that’s coming up.”

“Ooh, this sounds juicy.” She rolled up her sleeves, eager to get to work.

“Can you tell me what I should pack?”

“Just leave it to me!” The over-eager fortune-teller raised her hands over the mostly useless crystal ball. Then she scowled. “Does it even matter…?” she muttered under her breath.

Ahem. I heard that.

“Enmeyaaah, ho, rah…”

I swear I’m not making this up—she literally started reciting what sounded like some kind of curse. The way it reverberated in the air, it sounded like Tuvan throat singing. First the takoyaki, and now this? How many skills did this woman have?

“Yes, it’s all coming to me…”

“What is?”

“Be careful not to forget anything. Your lucky color is blue.” What are you, a fortune cookie? Then she held out her palm as if to suggest the reading was over. “That will be three thousand yen.”

“Are you nuts?!”

“Sorry, honey, but I’m the best fortune-teller in town.”

“It didn’t cost this much last time!”

“Last time, I gave you a first-time discount.”

“Okay, well, I don’t have my wallet on me.”

“Then I guess I’m going to call you Broke Betty from now on!”

“Uh…go ahead…?” If it saved me three thousand yen, it was worth it.

“Anyway, I hope you have fun on your trip.”

“Thanks…but still, I wish it was just the two of us… I don’t want a million other people coming with us…”

Before I knew it, I had confessed my actual problem.

“Oh, please. Can’t you just go on another trip with her at a later date?”

“But if it’s going to be our first trip together, then shouldn’t it just be the two of us?”

Surely, that would be better for both of us. If our first trip together was in a big group, with our whole school, we were bound to get distracted with a bunch of other things. It would ruin the sentimental value.

The first experience with something always carried the biggest emotional impact, which then went on to influence related experiences later on down the line. That impact was often immune to the passage of time. Therefore, the first experience was vitally important. And I wanted my first to be with Shimamura. It felt right.

“I see, I see.” The fortune-teller nodded pensively, then looked over her shoulder and muttered, “How obnoxious.”

I couldn’t hear what she said, but I could tell it wasn’t polite.

“Well, then, why don’t you go on a trip together before the big school trip?” she sighed in annoyance as she rolled her sleeves back down.

“Oh…!” It was so simple! But before I could get excited, reality settled back in. “The thing is, I invited her to go on a trip with me the other day, but she said no.”

“Hmmm… How did this conversation play out, exactly?”

“I dunno. I was like ‘Let’s go on a trip today,’ or something like that.”

“Well, no wonder she said no.” The fortune-teller closed her eyes and heaved a big sigh, then donned her customer service smile. “It’s important to be considerate of other people’s plans. Try inviting her to go on a Saturday or something.”

“…Oh…”

I was in such a rush, I forgot it was a weekday when I said it. And since Shimamura didn’t skip school these days, there was no chance she would have agreed. I had a bad habit of acting without thinking whenever I was flustered… I should probably work on that…

“Just relax. Once you’ve made plans, there’s no need to panic. We humans can travel from Tokyo to San Francisco in just ten hours, you know.”

My heart skipped a beat. How did she know about San Fran? Did she read my mind?

“Now take action, young one!” She thrust out her fist…then unclenched it and turned it palm-up. “Three thousand yen.”

“No wallet, remember?”

I rose to my feet. Smiling brightly, she waved goodbye.

“See you later, Broke Betty!”

Don’t call me that. Without responding, I turned and headed off.

 

***

 

Ultimately, the woman’s advice was worth consideration. She was right: the solution was to go on a different trip sooner. That way, I wouldn’t need to panic about the school trip later.

“Hmmm… Hmmm…”

I sat upright on my bed and contemplated when to ask. Should I just go for it? My hand hovered over my phone. Would Shimamura think I was annoying? What if she started asking questions? If I tried to explain my reasoning, the conversation would drag on and on, and she’d probably get sick of me… I just couldn’t decide.

I knew I needed to take a minute to calm down and get my thoughts in order…but looking back, I had yet to successfully maintain my composure whenever Shimamura was involved. Maybe I traded it in at some point for all these pretty flowers in my head. In the end, I switched my brain off and wrote her an email:

“May I call you?”

The second I sent it, I realized I could have simply typed out my entire proposal and sent it to her that way. But whatever—I wanted to hear her voice. A short while later, my phone started to ring. Instead of writing me back, Shimamura had skipped a step. I answered immediately.

“Sooo what’s up?” she asked.

She sounded normal, which came as a huge relief. I had scaled a wall with my bare hands to see if I recognized what lay on the other side. Shimamura was my homeland; every time we were together, I felt as though I truly belonged. The smell of flowers engulfed my nose.

“Well, I was wondering…”

“Yeah?”

“Would you wanna go on a trip with me this Saturday?”

 

***

 

“I want a souvenir. A luxury souvenir.”

“Only if you behave yourself while I’m gone.”

On the morning of the school trip, my kid sister stood in the hallway in her pajamas, watching as I stepped into my shoes. In place of her usual pigtails was a major case of bedhead.

“I know you’re gonna miss me, but try not to cry, okay?”

“Not happening! Hyah!” She kicked me in the butt.

“Gyah!” In revenge, I reached out and pressed my palms hard against her temples.

“Hgggnnhh!” She flailed her legs in protest.

After I had my fun with her, I let her go. Maybe now she was a little more awake.

“Wait a minute… Where did Yachi run off to?” she murmured to herself, rubbing her eyes as she looked over her shoulder. “I thought I just saw her in the kitchen.”

“Seems like she’s always in the kitchen, if you ask me.” That’s what you people get for feeding her. Wait, but I was the one who started it… Oops.

I waved goodbye to my sister, then left the house. Outside, I was met with the last lingering traces of summer’s warmth. But while the temperature hadn’t quite caught up with the times, the sky above had already made the transition to autumn.

October mornings started out fuzzy indigo blue, with thinly shredded clouds overlapped in layers. At first, the houses across the street were cloaked in shadow, but as the sun rose, their windows began to shine. I breathed in the light and felt a flame rise up inside me. This was but a tiny glimpse of the scenery on Planet Earth.

On a day like today, you’d think Adachi would come to pick me up, but this time, I was on my own. I adjusted my grip on my backpack straps. “All right, let’s go,” I announced to no one in particular. And with that, I headed off to school.

There I would find my hopelessly stubborn girlfriend waiting for me.

 

***

 

When I arrived, the buses were already parked in front of the school building. They would take us to the transit center, where we would catch the airport shuttle. Our town was so rural, it required two separate bus rides to get there.

The buses were emblazoned with the town mascot’s cheeky grin. As I approached, I followed the sounds of students chatting until I spotted a group gathered together; Hino and Nagafuji were among them.

“Yo, Ma-chee!” Hino greeted me casually. At this point, you couldn’t even tell the nickname was derived from my name.

“Good Shima-morning!” Nagafuji chimed in. Surprisingly, hers made more sense. Then she let out a big yawn and pulled her glasses off.

“This ditz rearranged her suitcase three times before we went to bed. Can you believe it? We hardly got any sleep!” Hino complained.

“Ha ha ha…” To be honest, I wasn’t in any position to judge.

“Good thing I spent the night at your house. That way, I didn’t end up late for school! Heh heh heh!” Nagafuji declared proudly.

“Oh, yeah?” I asked.

“Look here, you,” Hino spat, glaring up at her. “Quit coming over to my house without asking! You know I don’t like it!”

“Whyzat?” Nagafuji blinked.

“Lots of reasons!” Hino waved her hands emphatically while Nagafuji peered at her in confusion. Honestly, after how my mother reacted when Adachi came over to spend the night with us, I could kind of guess why.

“You’ve got a lot of stuff there, Shima-Shima. You excited for the trip?”

I see I’ve gained an extra Shima. “I don’t know about excited… I just wasn’t sure what I’d need, so I kept adding stuff…”

“Oh, and if you’re looking for Ada-chee, she’s over there,” Hino informed me, pointing into the distance. Sure enough, I could see the back of Adachi’s head, along with her backpack. Unsurprisingly, she was standing all by herself.

“Cool, thanks.”

“See you later, Shima-Shima-Shima!”

One Shima is enough, thank you very much. I waved goodbye and headed off to see Adachi. Behind me, I could hear Nagafuji asking, “Whyzat? Whyzat?” over and over.

As I approached, you’d think Adachi would notice me and jog up with a smile, but…she didn’t. Things between us were a little strained at the moment. For some inexplicable reason, she had decided that she wanted us to go on a trip of our own ahead of the school trip. Naturally, I declined—but then she got mad and started sulking. Honestly, it was impossible to parse just what was going through her head.

“Good morning,” I greeted her, as if none of it had ever happened.

She stiffened up slightly. “Hey.”

Apparently, she was still in a bad mood. Oh, you. Smiling, I shook my head. She reminded me of my little sister whenever she threw a tantrum, and I wasn’t too worried. She’d get over it eventually.

After a while, the teachers directed us to board the buses. The only requirement was to sit with our assigned group, so naturally, Adachi and I ended up next to each other. We were seated near the back, directly over the rear axle.

After the bus started moving, I peered across the aisle at the seat beside us—eh, they probably won’t notice. Facing forward, I surreptitiously took Adachi’s hand in mine. (In the process, I accidentally touched her thigh, but I wasn’t trying to grope her, I swear.) I felt her soft hand flinch against my palm and smiled at her.

“Let’s try to have fun, okay? It’s a special occasion.”

Now that we were in high school, this would be our last chance to go on a school-sanctioned trip. Compared to the rest of our boring adult lives yet to come, the memories we were about to make had the potential to be unforgettable.

Adachi sucked in a breath. Then, finally, she squeezed back.

“We can’t wipe the slate clean, but for now, let’s sweep it all under the rug. Then after we come home, we can worry and fight and sulk all we want. Deal?”

Honestly, I wasn’t the type to switch gears that easily…and after getting to know Adachi, I knew she wasn’t, either…

“Alternatively, if you need help having fun on the trip, I could… Let’s see… I’ll smile at you the whole time!” I declared, picking what I hoped was the most effective tactic. She widened her eyes at me, but nevertheless, I beamed back at her. As you might expect, she blushed and looked around anxiously. Then, at last, she giggled. Cutie.

“Look, um…I’m sorry,” she mumbled as her shoulders slumped. Evidently, she felt bad about getting grumpy with me.

“Ha ha ha! No worries—it’s fine. The trip only just started, so you’re right on time,” I grinned. She looked back at me bashfully.

And so our high school trip officially began. Our destination: Kitakyushu. It was the autumn of my second year, and for the first time in my life, I would touch the sky.

 

***

 

Truth be told, it was my first time visiting the airport too. I kept glancing around fretfully like a lost tourist, and when it came time to actually board the plane, my composure sprouted wings and flew away. As I sat there, the noise steadily grew louder and louder until eventually I started to worry that the whole thing might in fact explode. I could hear the sharp whhhf whhhf of something slicing through the air, over and over.

Then the plane started to move. My head rattled from the motion, and the scenery outside started to sway. We had turned onto the runway.

“Ohh!” I exclaimed under my breath as we began to pick up speed. The momentum was pushing me back against the seat. Then the deafening sounds converged, and my body—along with the body of the plane—began to tilt upward.

Liftoff.

Reflexively, I gritted my teeth. I half-expected my seat to go hurtling through the air. The view from the window was now diagonal as the plane seemed to roll up an invisible incline. My legs swung through empty air beneath my seat. And so, unhindered by gravity’s pull, we began to fly.

Around the time my palms were slick with sweat, the captain told us over the intercom that we had reached cruising altitude. Confused, I glanced around. It was still so loud and cramped… Really, there wasn’t much about this situation that I enjoyed at all.

As the antsy feeling in my chest persisted, Adachi reached out and took my hand—just as I had done for her on the bus, except decidedly less sneaky about it. Maybe it’s weird, but I was impressed by her confidence…and likewise embarrassed that my fear was now blatantly obvious. I debated whether to say something, but she stared straight ahead with a peaceful look on her face. She seemed to enjoy holding hands with me regardless. So I closed my mouth, adjusted my sitting position, and faced forward.

My pulse was racing faster than the propellers on the plane’s engines. Together, we were holding hands…while 40,000 feet in the air. Strangely enough, the thought put a smile on my face.

 

***

 

As we descended, I gazed out at the city of Kitakyushu and its surrounding mountains and prayed desperately that we wouldn’t crash. Naturally, we didn’t. After we landed, my heart continued to thump in my chest, and the familiar feeling of gravity sent a shudder down my spine. As it turned out, flying was no easy feat on this planet. Suddenly, I had a newfound respect for birds.

Once we had deboarded, we walked along in a big group. A short while later, my ears popped, and all the previously muffled sounds came rushing in at once. Loudest of all were the shouts and laughter of my classmates. Now I was starting to feel dizzy.

“Flying’s a lot more peaceful in my dreams…”

“Huh?”

“Nothing.”

Adachi would inevitably hear even the faintest of whispers, so I had to stay on guard… Wait, what am I saying? I can’t even relax around my own girlfriend?

In my own defense, though, anyone would want to impress someone they liked in the hopes of being liked in return. It was perfectly natural to be a little nervous.

Sounds exhausting, to be honest. Why is love so complicated?

We walked through the airport for what felt like an eternity before we finally reached the ground floor lobby. From there, we split into our assigned groups and waited for the teachers to give us our next instructions. Those who needed to use the restroom left their suitcases with their friends and rushed off.

I guess a lot of different schools are here at the same time as us, I mused to myself as some other students walked past in the distance, all wearing dark-green uniforms. Our local agricultural high school had green uniforms too, but in a lighter shade.

My gaze darted to and fro. I was so far removed from my sphere of daily life, and yet…there weren’t many new sights or smells. Everyone was speaking Japanese, and the crowd was sweltering, and the weather outside was bright and sunny… Honestly, I was expecting at least one thing to be drastically different from home, so for me, this was a bit of a letdown.

“Do you need to use the bathroom, Adachi?”

“No…?” She pouted her lips at me. “Are you treating me like a little kid?”

“Well, I sure wasn’t trying to,” I answered cheerfully.

But just then, as I adjusted my backpack, I heard a muffled sound: “Ghhnn!”

“……”

A cold sweat trickled down my back.

“Shimamura?”

I jumped up and down three times on the spot.

“Ghhgg!” came the muffled but otherwise unruffled response. Sure enough, it was coming from my backpack. Now my face was sweating, too.

“Sorry, uh… I’ll be right back,” I told the rest of the group.

But a certain pair of footsteps refused to leave my side. When I turned back, Adachi was following after me, staring at her shoes. I felt like a mother duck.

“I need you to go back and wait with them,” I explained.

“Huh? How come?”

“Because I’ll only be a minute!”

When I reached out and stroked her hair, she thrust her head at me, demanding more…so I gave her more. Her lower lip quivered as she savored the moment.

“Pet, pet…”

Now my hand was starting to go numb. Ugh, I’m gonna be stuck here forever! When I pulled away, her shoulders flinched upward, chasing after my fingers. Then, as I gazed straight into her eyes, I realized just how much taller she was… Hmmm. Did she gain another inch over the past year?

“Adachi, I’d really appreciate it if you could do as I ask, just this once,” I explained as gently as I could manage.

But she must have thought I was criticizing her, because her loving smile went stiff. “Sorry, um—I’m not trying to be difficult or anything, but…I just don’t think we’re supposed to split up…” At first, she stumbled over her words in haste, but after a moment, she faltered and started to fidget.

“No, no. Seriously, I’ll only be a second, I promise. Be right back.”

With a wave, I hurried off; she stood there and watched me go. I started to have second thoughts—did it really matter if Adachi saw? Then again, I couldn’t risk making this trip any more complicated than it already was.

“Now, then…”

I concealed myself behind the escalator and lowered my backpack. Then, once I was sure no one was watching, I summoned all my courage and unzipped it. A head of sky-blue hair popped up from inside, like a baby bird peeking out from its nest.

“Good morning!”

“…………”

Simultaneously, I was struck with two conflicting thoughts: This has to be a joke and Oh, god, I knew it. A sandstorm rose up in my chest. As I stared down at her at a total loss for words, she turned her head from side to side, peering around curiously. “Where are we, exactly?”

I’m the one who should be asking questions right now, thank you very much! “This is the airport. The Kitakyushu airport.”

“I see, I see.” From the way she nodded, I could tell she had no idea what I was talking about.

“So anyway, first things first… Right, uh, what are you doing in my backpack?” Honestly, there were a lot of other questions that came to mind, but hopefully this one was the most important.

“Well, you see,” Yashiro began casually, as though nothing was amiss, “when I visited your house this morning, I found this backpack just sitting there.”

“Uh huh?”

“And I just so happened to climb inside.”

“What, on accident?”

“And then I just so happened to fall asleep.”

“I’m seeing a pattern.”

“And now here I am!” she exclaimed gleefully, raising both hands into the air.

How did she make it through customs? For that matter, how did she fit her whole body into my regular-sized backpack? And what happened to the stuff that was supposed to be in there? At this point, she wasn’t just weird—she was terrifying. My only option was to try not to think about it too hard.

“Well, I can’t expect you to go home on your own, and I can’t really be seen walking around with you, so…wanna stay in there?”

I felt pretty weird for suggesting it, but weirder still, she actually agreed. “Yes, I think I shall.”

“No peeking out from inside without my permission, okay?”

“Oh, you needn’t worry about that. I shall sleep until I am called upon. Ho ho ho!”

If only I could be as laid-back about this as you are.

“By all means, think of me as your own personal Nezuko.”

“Oh, yeah? Should I get you one of those bamboo muzzles too?”

I zipped my bag up and slung it back over my shoulders. She was so light, it really didn’t feel like I was carrying another person. In fact, she was scarcely a burden at all…except on my mind, I guess.

“Are you gonna need snacks, or do you have some?” I decided to ask, just in case. Couldn’t let her drop dead in there, after all.

“I’m okie-dokie, artichokie.”

“Wow. Haven’t heard that one in a while.”

“But I would enjoy eating some fruit if you should happen to acquire some.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll think about it.”

If they found out about her, would I go to jail for child abduction? Frankly, I wasn’t confident I’d be able to talk my way out of it.

“Sorry for the wait!”

When I made it back to my group, Adachi zipped right up next to me like a magnet. Then our group started walking, but…we weren’t exactly a cohesive unit. The two of us were divided from the rest, all thanks to Adachi putting up a wall between us.

I felt bad, since the Trio went out of their way to invite us to their group in the first place, but this was simply who she was. It just wasn’t realistic to expect her to play nice. Although from her point of view, she was playing nice… I could only lament the many complex facets to this issue.

This airport felt basically identical to the one I departed from; the heavy heat dried out my sinuses. If this were another country, would the weather and scenery make me feel like I was in a whole new world? How many times had Hino experienced something like that? We had both spent the same number of years on this earth, and yet her lived experience was completely different from mine. Not to suggest that my experiences weren’t just as important, of course. I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

As I mulled it all over, we stepped outside, where the bright daylight streamed down at an angle, but I didn’t mind. To me, sunshine always seemed to mark the start of something new. Then we boarded another bus and traveled a long, long distance from the airport…but I must have nodded off at a few points, because I could only remember bits and pieces. Easier to sleep on a bus compared to an airplane, after all.

As I shook myself awake, however, I noticed Adachi hunched over, looking down at her phone and blushing. She was staring so intensely, I got curious and took a peek. And when I did, I came face to face with…myself. A photo of myself, asleep. Which Adachi had set as her wallpaper.

In the photo, my eyes and mouth were closed and I was resting my head against the window pane. I look so peaceful, I thought to myself with a hint of envy. (Maybe it was weird to be jealous of myself, but I could never relax that much when I was awake.) Also, I was relieved to see that I wasn’t drooling. According to my mom, I did that a lot.

“It’s not often I get to see what I look like when I’m asleep,” I commented aloud.

At this, Adachi nearly leapt out of her skin. Panicked, she whirled around to look at me, already sweating bullets.

“It’s not polite to take creepshots, Sakura-chan. Ever heard of publicity rights?” I complained, though I didn’t know if publicity rights even applied in this situation.

She whipped her head from side to side, strands of hair slapping against her nose and cheeks. Honestly, it looked painful, but at the same time, it was kind of funny, so I let her keep going for a while. Then, at last, she hung her head in defeat. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I don’t really mind.” After all, I must have looked unbearably adorable while I was asleep…right? “So what made you want to snap a pic?”

I was curious to learn what, if anything, inspired her to capture that particular moment. She recoiled, as if to suggest this was an audacious question to ask. It seemed she wasn’t comfortable telling me… Now I was really curious. Hopefully, I can get it out of her before we arrive, I thought to myself as I glanced out at the scenery.

Then she put her fists in her lap and answered in a tiny voice, “I…I thought you looked really pretty.” Not only were her lips trembling, her ears were trembling, too. No clue how she managed that.

“Pretty? Me?”

She nodded meekly.

“Wow. Nobody’s ever really said that about me.”

There were several instances in which Tarumi had called me cute, though. I paused to think about her. Just when we had finally rekindled something, now it was falling apart all over again. But I didn’t want to admit it, which was proof of just how much it was affecting me on the inside.

“That’s…probably a good thing,” Adachi muttered.

At first, I didn’t understand what she was referring to, and since I couldn’t read her mind, it took me a minute to piece it together. “I beg your pardon?!” Was Adachi some kind of heartless monster who didn’t like it when other people got compliments?

“Well…when you’re pretty…people tend to flock to you,” she mumbled, peeking up at me with her damp eyes like she was testing the waters.

Oh, so that’s what you meant… Wait, so I’m not pretty after all? Ouch.

“Er, but you really are pretty, though! People just don’t tell you to your face because…uh…they’re shy!”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

Frankly, Adachi herself was way prettier than I was, but she wasn’t really the type to appreciate those sorts of compliments. Then again, if I said it, she’d probably blush beet red… I guess she really loves me, I thought to myself bashfully. If I had to guess, it was that same love that inspired her to take a photo of me… Wait, that gives me an idea.

“All right, my turn. Can you fall asleep for a sec?”

“Huh?!”

At first, she flinched back in horror, but a few moments later, she obediently closed her eyes. I was mostly joking, but I appreciated her willingness to cooperate. Her brow was furrowed, and I could practically hear her silently commanding herself to fall asleep. Admittedly, I wanted to see if it would actually work, so I watched with my phone at the ready. If you can pull this off, I’m gonna call you Nobita-kun from now on.

Alas, after a few strained grunts, she reluctantly opened her eyes and looked back at me in defeat. “Sorry…I can’t.”

“I kinda figured.” Grinning, I clapped her on the shoulder. “Okay, then, let’s get a pic of you smiling.”

“Huh?!”

For some reason, she was acting like this was somehow more unreasonable than the last request. Gimme a break. I held up my phone. “Say cheese!”

“Uhhh…okay…”

At my prompting, she donned what I could only assume was her best attempt at a smile—eyes wide, corners of her mouth twitching, frozen like a deer in headlights, her nose twitching in sheer terror. If I took this picture, people would think I was holding a gun to her head just off screen. As I debated whether to give her a gold star for…uh…effort, she began to sweat.

“Your smile looks a little forced.” Probably because I’m literally forcing you. “I guess you haven’t had much practice, have you?” Looking back, I knew she was at least capable of a derpy grin. That one was pretty cute.

But in her second attempt at a normal smile, her lower lip quavered. She squeezed her eyes shut in defeat. Then her chin jutted out, and her lips splayed in opposite directions, until eventually her expression didn’t resemble a smile in the slightest. Still, I liked the look of it, so I decided to snap a pic regardless. She heard the shutter sound effect and timidly opened her eyes.

“Uh…d-did I get it?”

“No, not really,” I replied, smiling.

Blushing faintly, she cocked her head in confusion. “What?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I navigated to the photo I took. Sure enough, there she was in all her awkward glory. Now we could both have pics of each other as our wallpaper… Eeee, we’re totally girlfriends! I love technology!

“Hey, uh, Shimamura?!”

“Yeah?” Beyond my phone screen sat Red Adachi in the flesh.

“I know I’m not great at smiling, but I really do have lots of fun when I’m with you. And I know sometimes I get all flustered and stuff, but…uh, I’d like it if…if I could learn to express myself better!” she confessed, her lips trembling along with her gaze. But her sentences didn’t connect quite so seamlessly—a fitting metaphor for Adachi as a person.

At point-blank range, her sentiment threatened to heat up the entire bus. But of course, Adachi wasn’t the type to worry about other people overhearing her.

“Well, uh…I’m glad to hear it,” I replied, slightly embarrassed. She hadn’t stopped blushing either. But if I chose to ignore all the same things she did, perhaps we could have a fun bus ride after all.

 

***

 

This was quite possibly my first time going out over the ocean. Gripping the ferry railing, I closed my eyes and felt my body swaying with the waves. The wind that brushed past my ears seemed to bite a little harder, and the darkness behind my eyelids swirled around in circles. But I felt no fear.

“Sleepy?” a voice remarked beside me. Scowling, I opened my eyes and looked over.

Adachi looked back at me with wide eyes, holding her hair flat as the wind ruffled through it. On the whole, she could come across as quiet and mature, but when you paid attention to the small details, you started to catch glimpses of her inner child. And when she looked at me with her eyes as round as saucers, she reminded me of my little sister.

“C’mon, Adachi. Don’t ruin it!”

I spread my arms wide, trying to convey “it” without words. We were on a ferry, purposely taking the scenic route to our destination. All around us, we could hear our classmates having fun. Out here on the deck of this huge ship (okay, probably not that huge), the ocean seemed to stretch on endlessly in a blur of blue and white. I wasn’t “sleepy”—I was just trying to take it all in. Sure, I woke up really early today, and the fatigue was seeping into me like sea water, but I still didn’t appreciate the accusation. Blunt honesty isn’t always a virtue, you know.

“Oh, were you, like…having a zen moment?” she asked, blurting out the first thing that seemed to fit without stopping to think about it.

“Yeah, totally. Might start doing yoga poses next.”

Weird, how traveling always brought out my sentimental side. I peered out over the railing and watched as the ship’s bright white hull sliced through the water. Now and then the spray would fly high, misting our cheeks and bringing a sharp, salty smell to my nose—the smell of the sea, I guess.

“It finally feels like we’re on a trip somewhere, doesn’t it?”

I guess my mental image of traveling involved a boat ride. Not only that, but it felt like I was home. But if so…what did that make my actual home?

The other students were busy feeding the seagulls with packets of cereal they received from the ferry employees. Evidently, these birds were used to tourists, because they flew down and caught each piece in midair without missing a single one. As I watched, I thought to myself: I bet Yashiro could do that. Not that I would feed her old, stale cereal.

The gulls kept flying really close to us. Suddenly, one shot past my face; when I flinched in surprise, it got spooked and flew away.

“So do you like boats?”

“Well, it’s my first time riding one.” But I’m enjoying it ferry much! Get it? Because…we’re on a ferry… You know what, I’m gonna keep that one to myself. “But I hope I get another chance someday,” I continued, letting my hopes fly on the wind like a drifting balloon.

“Then let’s make it happen,” Adachi replied, catching it by the string. Her words were firm, with no room for negotiation.

“Sounds good.”

I leaned my upper body against the railing and gazed beyond the bowsprit to our destination. In the greater scheme of things, this was just a tiny glimpse of the ocean, and yet, I felt as small as an ant. I could see everything and nothing all at once. And in that moment, I felt like I was adrift at sea—alone.

I shivered in the chilly sea breeze.

 

***

 

From there, we deboarded at the ferry terminal, and a short while later, we were at a park so famous, I already knew its name. Technically, it wasn’t a “park” at all—it was a shrine or something, and it was known for having a great view of the ocean and other scenic attributes. But we didn’t come for any of that—we were just here to eat lunch.

The first floor was a souvenir shop, and the second floor was the dining area. Each group headed up the stairs and sat together at one of the provided picnic tables; when I sat on the edge of the bench, naturally, Adachi swooped in next to me. On a whim, I reached out and combed my fingers through her bangs. She looked at me in confusion.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Just felt like it,” I told her.

“I don’t believe you.”

Secretly, I couldn’t help but think of her as a loyal Labrador retriever.

I set my backpack down on the ground next to me—gently, lest Yashiro make any more weird grunting sounds. Our lunch today was shabu-shabu with soba noodles and horse meat, the latter of which I had never tried before. Now that I thought about it, I was having a lot of first-time experiences on this trip… Using my chopsticks, I plucked up a slice of horse meat and marveled at how thinly it was cut. Did my lack of sympathy for the horse make me a heartless monster?

“Do you like horse meat?” Adachi asked as I scrutinized it at eye level.

“I’ve never had it.”

“Oh. Me either.” She beamed brightly. For a second, I was confused why this elicited such joy from her, but then it clicked.

She likes it when we have stuff in common. Wait, so she only likes people who are the same as her…? No, that’s not it. She doesn’t really seem to like herself, but she does like me. Therefore, the two of us must not be that similar… But in that case, why does she always want me to see things her way?

As I contemplated this contradiction, I slurped my noodles and relished the grainy mouthfeel. The flavor of the horse meat, however, was overstaying its welcome. Then, after I chewed for a while, I realized I was meant to dip it in the sauce first.

Likewise, Adachi ate her noodles in silence. Was she physically capable of enjoying food at all? I certainly couldn’t picture it. Not long after I started watching her, she sensed my gaze and looked back at me, her eyes shimmering with anticipation. So cute.

“It’s nothing, really,” I told her.

“Now I super don’t believe you.”

The meal came with two sliced apples for dessert. Experimentally, I plucked up a slice with my chopsticks and surreptitiously held it out to my backpack. Before I could even unzip it, a pale appendage (hand?) shot out from inside and snatched the apple slice. Freaky! Then, when I listened closely, I heard the sounds of crunching, followed by a tiny “Tastes like destiny.” Nope, still freaky.

I tested it again with another slice. Once again, she snatched it away in a flash. No one’s watching this, right? I wondered nervously. But despite my best efforts to stay cool, I could feel my face tensing up.

Nonchalantly, I glanced around. Just then, I made eye contact with Nagafuji sitting at the table across from ours. She slid her glasses back on, which made her look about 30 percent smarter overall, and rose to her feet. Then she picked up her bowl of noodles and headed my way. Wait, why are you bringing your food? Glasses or no glasses, she never made much sense to me.

She proceeded to walk alllll the way around until she was standing directly behind me; I looked up and came face to face with her boobs. Up close, they were ginormous. Like two meteors crashing to Earth. Okay, maybe it’s not that deep.

“Hmmm…” She peered down at my backpack.

Oh, god, she totally saw us.

“Sheemura-chan, did something crazy just happen, or am I blind?”

At this, my brain offered three different responses:

OMG, what are you talking about, silly?

Uh, you must have been seeing things.

Heh. Everything’s crazy whenever you’re around.

But most importantly, I needed to take into account exactly who I was speaking to.

“Did it?” I asked.

“Well, I sure hope so!”

Don’t hope for that, you weirdo. “Remind me: How bad is your eyesight?”

“I’m 20/200 in both eyes. Yaaay.” She threw up a halfhearted peace sign.

“Well, then, can you really trust anything you see without your glasses?”

“You’re right. I can’t.”

She agreed so readily, it threw me for a loop. Classic Nagafuji. With that, she bade me farewell and walked off with her noodles. “The heck were you doing?” I heard Hino ask once she returned to her seat.

“What was that about?” Adachi asked me, like she was my own personal Hino.

“Beats me,” I replied, tilting my head. “Nagafuji’s always sort of an enigma.”

That was my cover story. Frankly, I was lucky Nagafuji was the one who caught us. I snuck a glance at my backpack and was relieved to confirm that Yashiro wasn’t peeking her little blue head out. I couldn’t hear any more crunching either.

“Sheemura-chan,” Adachi mumbled into her noodles. Then, stiffly, she turned to me and tried it out for herself. “Sh-Sheemura…?”

“Kinda sounds like zebra,” I remarked.

“Yeah…”

So neither of us thought it was a fitting nickname. What would a Zebra-mura do, anyway? Did zebras neigh? Idly, I tried to remember if I’d ever seen one IRL.

There was this one time my family went to the zoo, and my favorite part was listening to all the birds singing in the aviary. My sister was only two or three back then, so she probably didn’t remember it, but I could recall my mother pointing at each of the animals and teaching her what their names were. No memories of any zebras, unfortunately. The mystery of the stripey horse would have to wait.

“Hey, Adachi? Can I have one of your apples?”

“Uh, sure…”

I only asked for one, but she handed me the whole plate. Oookay, then. I took it—and the second she looked away, I snuck it down to my backpack. With a whoosh, the slices all disappeared, and for a second it really sank in: This is nuts.

“Thanks,” I said as I handed the empty plate back to Adachi. She stared down at it in shock and disbelief.

“You already finished?”

“Gobbled ’em right up!” I answered brightly to drown out the faint sounds of crunching in my backpack.

After we finished our lunch at the park, we left without doing any sightseeing. Then we boarded another bus for the Hell Tour—no, seriously, that’s what it was called. We walked from place to place without pausing to linger for even a moment. Oh, but at one point, we saw a bunch of alligators. Easily the highlight of the tour.

“Shimamura, are you an animal lover?” Adachi asked, possibly because I kept staring at the gators.

“You know, I think I might be,” I nodded, thinking of Gon, and the zoo, and…

“…Shimamura?”

Would it be rude to count Adachi as one of my favorite creatures?

After the Hell Tour, we traveled to the hot spring inn, where we would be staying for our first night. As I approached the stairs out front, sure enough, I could already smell the sulfur. It wasn’t an inherently pleasant scent, and it plagued us all the way to our group’s assigned room. Did all hot springs stink this bad?

Inside, the walls and tatami mats had gone yellow from sun exposure. The light fixture was dim, casting shadows in the corners of the ceiling. In this old-fashioned room, the brand-new TV stuck out like a sore thumb.

As for the Trio, they appeared to be worn out from all the walking, because they were lounging around without bothering to open their suitcases. I set mine down against the opposite wall. What if I needed to open my backpack to get something? What would happen if I reached inside?

Hmmm… Could I ask everybody to leave real quick? Wait, better idea: Maybe I could have Yashiro sneak me my stuff?

As soon as Adachi was out of range, I made my move. “Could you give me some clean clothes?”

In a whoosh, the pale hand-appendage emptied the backpack’s contents at me—literally all of my clothes, plus my travel itinerary. Does this look like clothing to you? Where do you expect me to wear it?

“Put this back.”

At my request, the little hand snatched up my itinerary and retracted it back inside. In a sense, this system actually made things easier, since neither of us had to put in much effort. I decided to reward her with whatever they gave us for dessert tonight.

But while I was having a grand old time with my backpack buddy, Adachi looked at me in puzzlement. “Shimamura? Are you gonna get changed or something?”

“No, no, I’m just…uh…reorganizing.” I swiftly folded them into a stack, then looked up at her and played it off with a giggle.

“Wh-what’s so funny?”

“Oh, I was just noticing that you’ve cheered up, that’s all.”

She was totally sulking at the start of the trip, but now she was back to her normal self. When I pointed this out, however, she started to shift around on her feet, as did the shadow she cast over me. “Well, because…y-you…”

Fidget, fidget, fidget. Evidently she hadn’t completely gotten over it. But to be honest, I didn’t get why she was so hung up on it in the first place. And even if I asked her to explain it, I probably wouldn’t comprehend more than half of it. I couldn’t always relate to her priorities. But hey, maybe that was what made our relationship fun.

“I can’t promise it’ll happen anytime soon, but…we should go on another trip sometime, just the two of us.”

“When?” she demanded, like a little kid who was skeptical of a grown-up. But I didn’t have a concrete answer for that.

“Um…after we graduate?” I suggested vaguely. She shot me a look that said, That’s forever from now, so I continued, “Look, if I’m being honest, I don’t have the money for a big trip, okay? That’s why it has to wait until after I graduate and get a job.”

Without missing a beat, she pressed a hand to her chest. “I’ll pay for it!”

Fun fact about Adachi: despite her antisocial personality, she had a part-time job.

“Well, yeah, but…mmm…ehhh… I don’t know about that.”

I didn’t want to be a gold digger, piggybacking off of my girlfriend’s money, especially since I knew she would empty her entire bank account for me without batting a lash. Seriously, girl, you’re lucky I’m not that selfish.

“But I don’t have anything else to spend my money on.”

Then keep saving it! You never know when you might actually need it! But of course, in her eyes, that time was right now.

“Hmmm… Then I guess I should get a part-time job myself.”

“You’re gonna get a job?”

“Yep!” I laughed. “Then we can both pay for the trip together. I’m like 99 percent sure it’ll be more fun that way.” Balance is key, as they say.

Adachi seemed to accept this; she nodded eagerly, her eyes sparkling. At the very least, I could see why she would prefer to travel with just me. And in that moment, she truly lit up the room.

But right as we were about to make a pinky promise, I belatedly realized that the Trio was staring at us. Uh oh. I’d totally forgotten they were there, so I’d been speaking at a normal volume this whole time. But the issue wasn’t the noise level—judging from the looks on their faces, I could tell they sensed something was…going on between us.

“You two sure are close, aren’t you?” Sancho asked, seemingly on behalf of the others. Her lips were curled in a stiff smile that was anything but affectionate; she pulled her legs in, close to her body. Meanwhile, the implication hung in the air.

“Uhhh…yeah, maybe,” I replied evasively.

“We are,” Adachi declared, grabbing my hand and erasing any ambiguity from my statement. I was so flummoxed, I kinda let it happen, and before I knew it, her grip was too tight for me to escape.

The Trio froze as Adachi raised our joined hands, practically rubbing it in their faces. My body burned hot. Then my ears started to ring and my head began to throb. There was no talking my way out of it.

“Uhhh, yeah!”

No, we’re not—yeah, we are. It’s not what it looks like—actually, it is. She’s a good friend—a good girlfriend.

At this point, I decided I couldn’t keep hiding it. Being considerate and cooperative was simply not in Adachi’s wheelhouse. She wasn’t predisposed to playing nice with others, and she probably didn’t want to. Now that I was dating her, this was what life was going to be like.

Interpersonal relationships: complicated and fragile and intense and powerful, all at once. This, after the Trio went out of their way to invite us to their group… With a heavy heart, I rose to my feet and dragged Adachi from the room. I didn’t have any set destination in mind, but I couldn’t sit there for a single minute longer.

Granted, I had inadvertently left Yashiro behind, but she’d probably be fine. If the Trio went through my stuff and found her, well, I’d cross that bridge when I came to it.

As we walked down the hallway, my chest continued to burn hot, and my brain boiled uselessly in my skull. Something akin to impatience swirled in my eyes.

“We are close, aren’t we?” Adachi asked, seeking my confirmation. But our tightly linked hands left no room for debate.

“Yeah.”

Adachi Sakura only knew one way of life: clumsily charging forward without giving any thought to the destruction she might cause in the process. But for right now, I was willing to give it a try.

So I laced my fingers with hers.

 

***

 

As time flowed like the sand in an hourglass, I bent down and scooped up a handful of sand. For better or for worse, it all glittered in my palm, so it was hard to pick out just the best bits. All I could really do was stare down at it and think. If I lumped all these memories together as a package deal, then overall, Adachi had changed my life for the better…you know, probably.

“Probably.”

Adachi and I were eating in the dining hall with the rest of our group, though I could feel an invisible wall between us and them. It was my first time trying miso soup with carp dumplings, and since I’d never had the opportunity to eat carp before, I was curious to try them, but…to be completely honest, they were way too fishy for me. It was probably something I could theoretically get used to over time, but yeah… The miso really didn’t do much to hide the smell.

To be fair, mass-produced food was never especially delicious. If I ordered it at a fancy restaurant, it’d probably be great. Not that I could picture myself wanting to do that.

I lifted my soup bowl to my lips and peered over the rim at the rest of the dining hall. The vermilion walls were illuminated a little too brightly, and the garish color stabbed my eyeballs. Vines were painted on the ceiling above us.

After my gaze wandered for a bit, I looked back at my meal, and the sounds around me came back into focus. When you stuffed a bunch of giddy high-schoolers into the same enclosed space, the resulting cacophony was on par with 5 o’clock traffic; I could feel the sound rising like bathwater, filling the room. But though I was sitting smack-dab in the middle of it, I felt divorced from it, almost like I was off sulking in the corner. I was supposed to be sitting with my “group” and yet, we were divided into a pair and a trio.

I felt like a crawfish in an irrigation ditch—okay, too obscure. It felt like… like Adachi and I were eating our dinner inside a glass box. But in most cases, the “walls” I felt were merely a product of my own mind. I was the one putting that distance between us. I was afraid that we had ruined our chances of getting along with the rest of our group.

We were failing to coexist peacefully, even in the smallest of communities. This was not a good thing. It would probably make our lives a lot harder going forward, and that made me sad. As for Adachi, however, she didn’t look sorry in the least—she just kept eating her food in silence. She was so strong… Perhaps having too many pillars of support put you at risk anytime one of them crumbled.

In a different sense, Nagafuji was strong too—because she walked into the dining hall wearing one of the complimentary yukatas provided in each room. When the teachers yelled at her, she apologized deeply and promised to go change clothes…then turned and promptly sat down at the dinner table like the whole exchange never happened.

“I can’t believe you,” Hino muttered under her breath.

“What can I say? I’m the kind of girl who tries to sequence-break the tutorial level,” Nagafuji declared.

“…This is the tutorial level to you?”

In the end, maybe Nagafuji was the biggest rebel of us all.

“Hmmm…”

I contemplated bringing Yashiro the thin orange slices that came with my salad, even though it wasn’t much. To be fair, she did say she didn’t strictly need to eat, but…then why was she always stuffing her face back at our house? Was it more of a hobby? If so…I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. As I reached out with my chopsticks, however, my elbow collided with Adachi’s.

“Ack! Sorry!” It wasn’t the first time this had happened tonight, either. Only in times like these did I remember that she was left-handed. “I should probably try to sit on your right from now on, huh?”

“Probably,” she nodded as she quietly dismantled her fried fish.

Once again, she showed literally no interest in her meal. Had she ever openly enjoyed eating something? I thought back over my memories of her, but nothing stood out to me. The only thing she seems to take interest in is…me, I realized bashfully.

Adachi was an innocent soul. No one had ever tried to reach out to her—not even her own parents, oddly enough. So when I was the only person leaving grimy fingerprints all over her, part of me started to feel like maybe I should step back and keep her pristine instead. She was too precious for me to tarnish.

“Shimamura?”

My gaze must have wandered to her of its own accord, because she sounded confused. “How’s your food?” I asked quickly.

“Uh, pretty so-so,” she answered as she chewed the hard, undercooked rice. Shocker.

“Do you have any favorite foods? Sorry if I already asked this before, but I don’t remember!” I asked in a light tone of voice. Seriously, I wouldn’t trust my own memory if you put a gun to my head.

She started to say, “Not really,” then fixed me with a suspicious look, silently asking me to explain myself.

“I just want to learn everything about you, one fact at a time.” Maybe this was why I felt walled off—because I kept making cringey comments in public.

Then again, perhaps someone like Adachi felt right at home in this glass box, since it kept out all the potential threats. Her expression softened, and she began to mull it over. “Favorite foods… Water, I guess?”

“What are you, a plant?”

She chuckled and averted her eyes shyly. Then she looked back at me and countered with “What about you?”

“Oh, um…okonomiyaki?”

“Yeah, I know. What else?”

“Uhhh…tamagoyaki?”

I held up the bite of egg I was currently working on. Whoever cooked it had flavored it on the sweet side, which I liked. Adachi looked at my plate, picked up her chopsticks, and started to transfer all of her uneaten tamagoyaki to me.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” But I mean, if you want me to have them, I’m not complaining.

And so dinner came to an end.

“What are you gonna do with those?” Adachi asked, pointing to the orange slices in my hands. It wasn’t unreasonable for her to be curious, either, since I had once again asked to have hers in addition to my own. In fact, she gave me her whole salad, which I could have done without.

“Uhhh…don’t worry about it.” I couldn’t possibly tell her that it was an offering to be made at the Altar of Yashiro, i.e., my backpack.

When we arrived back at our room, the rest of our group was nowhere to be seen. Adachi hovered near the entrance, glancing around like she didn’t know where to sit. I looked over at my backpack sitting in the far corner of the room, making sure it wasn’t wriggling on its own.

“Think the TV works?”

Unlike everything else in the room, which had all sort of faded and blurred together, the television was brand new. I could see the remote control on the floor nearby; Adachi rushed over, picked it up, and rushed back. What are you, five? Cutie.

“Let’s test it out.”

“Okie-doke.”

At my prompting, she pressed the power button. Lazily, her gaze drifted to the TV screen, and I could tell at a glance that she couldn’t care less about doing this. After a short pause, light and sound filled the room.

“Well, it’s working… Any idea how to find the channels?”

“I dunno,” she murmured as she fiddled with the remote.

Meanwhile, I walked over to the corner of the room and offered the thin orange slices to my backpack. They were vacuumed up in a matter of milliseconds. How could Yashiro tell what I was doing if she couldn’t see me? I willfully disregarded this disturbing question and substituted a different one:

“You’re not making a mess in there, are you?” I whispered.

She popped up casually. “No need to worry.”

Gah! Stay in there! It reminded me of a scene from that one animal documentary I was watching. Was it the one about axolotls? No, what was it…? Oh, right, prairie dogs.

“I engulf the food with my entire body when I eat, so there is no mess.”

“Uhhhhh…okay.” There was no point trying to understand it, so I just went with it. I figured I could trust her. As she started to retreat back into my backpack, however, a thought occurred to me: “Oh, right. Later, I’ll sneak you into the bath with me.”

Somehow I got the sense that it wouldn’t be much of an issue. With Yashiro, it rarely ever was.

“I do not require a bath.”

“Sure you do! You’ve been stuck in my backpack all day long! You need to stretch your legs.” Ugh, am I even hearing myself right now?

“Hey, uh, Shimamura?”

“Wha?!” Startled, I whirled around and found myself draped in Adachi’s shadow.

“You’re talking to yourself a little too much today. You okay?”

Great, now my girlfriend’s worried about my sanity. Once I confirmed that Yashiro was out of sight, I donned a smile. “I just like to hear myself talk, that’s all.” Ugh, listen to me! I really need to start thinking before I speak! Then again, I was lazy by nature, so perhaps that was a bit too optimistic.

“Well, y-you should talk to…to me instead.”

Adachi knelt down beside me, and since she was so much taller than me, it was actually mildly intimidating. Well, until you factored in her meek, self-effacing attitude. Then it was just kind of funny.

“Bring it on, or whatever…”

Once again, her attempt at a joke was ruined by her poor delivery and beet-red face. And every time it happened, it was super adorable.

“Okay, then, what do you want to talk about?” I asked with a goofy grin.

On a whim, I reached out and touched her hair, combing her bangs away from her cheek. She flinched, then shyly placed her hand on mine, her fingers tracing my knuckles with all the grace of a trained harp player. She smiled, wide-eyed, which made for a funny-looking expression.

“That tickles.”

But just then, the door opened and the Trio walked in. As soon as they spotted us, they stopped short at the entrance. We were caught. Cursing my carelessness, I pulled my hand away from Adachi—but in their eyes, it was perhaps all the confirmation they needed. The sound of the TV felt deafeningly loud. We had inadvertently given them the wrong idea. Except it wasn’t the wrong idea at all.

With nothing to say for ourselves, we sat there without a word. A meaningful silence descended over the room as the Trio filed in and sat by the TV. The news was on, announcing tomorrow’s weather forecast, but I was barely listening. Somewhere, I could hear the tick-tock of a clock drilling against the back of my neck.

There was still quite some time before our scheduled hot spring bathing period would begin. If this were any other group, we’d idle away the time talking, laughing, and having fun, but our group didn’t have that kind of vibe. Adachi and I had cleaved a rift between us and them.

Sounds badass, I mused in spite of myself, but this was no time for ditzy jokes.

Adachi had clearly noticed the awkward tension but was choosing to remain silent, so all eyes were on me instead. But I couldn’t risk the possibility that Adachi might tell them, like, way more than they needed to know. She was impossible to predict.

As the silence lingered, the air in the room grew heavier and heavier. There was no exchange of ideas to get things circulating again. But unlike me, Adachi didn’t seem to feel uncomfortable in the slightest, so I would have to take matters into my own hands.

“Why don’t we explore the inn a little?” I suggested, as a pretext to escape.

“Sure, but…I mean, is there anything worth seeing?”

Admittedly, now that we were all used to the smell of sulfur, it was really just an old, decrepit building. Nevertheless, I insisted. “Well, let’s find out!”

While I was at it, I slung my backpack over my shoulder. After what just happened, I couldn’t afford to make any more careless mistakes. Especially if it involved a certain blue-haired alien.

“We’ll be back at bath time,” I announced to no one in particular as I walked out.

“Have fun,” Sancho replied in farewell, and I could tell from her tone that she wasn’t sure how to interact with us. Trust me, the feeling’s mutual.

After we left, would they all start gossiping about us? The prospect made me depressed. I didn’t want them talking smack about things that weren’t true… Then again, if they talked smack about things that were true, that would suck worse, since I’d have no way of denying it.

“Now then, where to?” I pondered aloud. I didn’t know the layout of this building, so we were in danger of getting lost.

“You brought your backpack?” Adachi commented, glancing at it.

“Oh, well, I thought I might want to buy something.” Yeah, let’s go with that.

We headed downstairs to the front lobby. Surprisingly, we didn’t encounter any classmates loitering around; instead, we arrived right as a group from a different school was walking in. Man, there really are a lot of schools doing field trips at this time of year, I thought to myself as we sat down on a mahogany-colored bench. There was a souvenir shop located right nearby.

The gaps between the four provided benches were furnished with vases full of big yellow flowers. The positioning of said benches kinda reminded me of a hospital waiting room, but the lobby of an inn wasn’t that different, right? Overhead, I could see a green-and-white fire exit sign flickering on and off at random intervals. As I looked up at it, I let out a breath. At last, I felt the relief that our private room should have offered me instead.

In a way, it was reminiscent of our days up in the gym loft—a moment of respite away from everyone else. It was how the two of us first met, so perhaps it was only natural that we found solace in it.

“I thought you said we were gonna explore,” Adachi pointed out, confused, as she sat quietly beside me.

“I was planning to, but I changed my mind.”

She laughed. “Are you for real?”

But she didn’t seem to mind the speed at which I had seemingly changed my tune. She was probably just happy to have some alone time with me. Not that we’re actually alone, but she doesn’t need to know that, I thought to myself, glancing at my backpack.

“Adachi, are you…”

I waited for the rest of the question to come to me, but it never did. My mouth had simply decided not to finish what it had started.

“Am I what?”

“I don’t know.”

She looked at me in bafflement, and yeah, I couldn’t really blame her. Believe it or not, she and I didn’t talk all that much. We had spent so much time together, we didn’t really need to.

“Wanna just zone out for a bit?” I suggested as a way to kill some time. With the lights on and Adachi next to me, I figured things would work themselves out.

“Sure,” she murmured quietly. Then she faced forward, same as me. Together, we watched the other group of students as they waited at the front desk.

Then it occurred to me: with anybody else, this same silence would make me feel uncomfortable. But because I was with Adachi, I was at peace just sitting here, doing nothing. Perhaps this was proof of just how much I had come to trust her…though I didn’t know exactly who, if anyone, I needed to prove anything to. Myself, maybe.

Alas, our alone time eventually came to an end. I checked my wristwatch, which I had chosen to carry in my pocket instead of on my arm. It was time to hit the hot springs.

I gestured to Adachi, and together we rose to our feet. All at once, her expression tensed. I wonder what that’s about, I thought to myself as we started walking. Then, as we passed by the souvenir shop, I saw the snack buns they had out on display—the same kind you’d see in any grocery store. Gee, what great souvenirs.

“A jam-filled bun sounds lovely,” my backpack muttered.

I gave it a little smack for good measure.

 

***

 

My family never took trips to any hot springs, so I hadn’t visited a public bath in a loooong time. Each class was assigned a certain time slot to use the facilities, but nevertheless, the women’s changing room was packed. Girls stood at the sinks, wiping off their makeup; meanwhile, the teacher stood at the entrance, scolding anyone who was getting too rowdy. The lockers and walls were constructed with old wood that smelled faintly musty.

As I prepared to get undressed, I felt someone’s eyes on me and quickly located the source. “Adachi?”

“It’s nothing.” She shook her head sharply as she reached for her bath towel. Her voice was as stiff as an undercooked potato.

She had been acting a bit strangely since well before we arrived. But I knew how much she struggled in social situations, so I could understand why she would feel anxious about taking a bath in a public setting. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much I could do about it other than act as her moral support. In a way, she reminded me of the girls back in middle school who used to claim they were feeling sick so they wouldn’t have to participate in a group activity they didn’t like.

I pulled my shirt off, then slid out of my track pants, at which point I felt Adachi’s gaze all over again. “Aha!” I exclaimed as I whipped my head around to look at her. Sure enough, she was looking at me. And she was already naked.

It was my first time seeing her in the nude, and my eyes automatically drifted to her long, slender legs. But before I could get a good look at her, she rushed off without me.

“Ada—”

“Nothing!” she cut in sharply as she tottered stiffly away.

“Hmmm…” I sure hope she doesn’t slip and fall.

Once I had finished undressing, I followed after Adachi and walked face-first into the hot, muggy air. The humidity from the steam made my neck and eyebrows wet.

The main feature of the room was the rectangular sunken bathtub. The dim lighting was apparently intentional, warmly illuminating the wooden walls and ceiling. Additionally, there were three small windows, but I couldn’t see much through the frosted glass. During the day, these windows probably let in sunlight and a hint of mountain greenery, but at night, they were just black squares.

Adachi was hidden among the other girls, sitting at a shower station. I couldn’t see any bruises on her arms or legs, so I was relieved to learn that she hadn’t slipped. But as I watched her, I noticed little oddities in her movements. She wasn’t bending any of her joints. Even the simple act of turning the shower on required several steps at a slow, robotic pace. It reminded me of the way I felt whenever I’d get a neck cramp after sleeping. But of course, for Adachi, this wasn’t all that uncommon.

“Is this seat taken?” I asked jokingly as I walked up to the station beside hers.

She flinched in surprise. “It’s nothing!” She gestured for me to go ahead…but then her eyes widened. Clapping her hands to her cheeks, she hastily faced forward.

“Hmmm…?”

Confused, I watched as the water streamed onto her bright red cheeks… Oh, well. Now it was my turn to get the shower started. Like Adachi, I let the water stream down onto my face. Then I started aggressively wetting my hair.

As the pleasant warmth trickled down my body, I relaxed and let out a deep sigh of contentment. I could feel it slowly melting away all that built-up stress. To me, bath time signaled the end of a hard day, and I liked it very much.

Combing the wet strands of hair out of my face, I glanced nonchalantly around the room. There she is! I had waited for the perfect moment to set Yashiro free from my backpack, and now I could see her washing her hair at the farthest shower station. The shampoo suds had created a milky white afro on her head.

Naturally, the girl at the station next to her was staring at her in alarm, but she didn’t seem to have the courage to actually say anything. Frankly, no matter what she said, Yashiro would answer with a cheerful smile, and the conversation would probably end there. Sure enough, as I watched, Yashiro noticed the girl looking at her and greeted her politely. Perplexed, the girl inclined her head in kind. Yep, she’ll be fine.

“…Huh?” When I picked up the shampoo, I could feel a pair of eyes digging into my skin. I looked over and found Adachi frozen in place…so I summoned every last ounce of kindness and patience to the point that it probably seemed fake. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“It’s nothing,” she shot back, averting her pointed gaze. Then she slapped her cheeks vigorously. What is she so worked up about?

“Hmmm…”

Every time I interacted with Adachi, she would react weirdly and tell me, “It’s nothing,” in a flat, emotionless voice. I mulled it over as I washed my hair and body. Then, once I was finished, I headed for the soaking tub. She dutifully tagged along with me.

“Awww, you waited for me? You didn’t have to.”

“It…it’s nothing.”

This was not a coherent response to my statement. At this point, I had to assume she wasn’t processing a single word I said. Clearly her mind was elsewhere…but where?

Weaving our way through the other girls, we waded out to a spot against the wall and sat down in the water. It was so dim and damp, it kinda felt like we were in a cave somewhere, which was exciting. I was having a great time.

“Sure is fun to sit back and relax in a huge bathtub, huh?” I commented. When I was little, I used to be able to stretch my legs in the bathtub at home, too, but now I was too big for it. Growing up had its downsides.

I looked up at the pale steam clouds rising toward the wooden ceiling painted black, and for a while, I let myself pretend everything was fine.

“Now then…”

Without turning my head, I snuck a peek at Adachi next to me and met her gaze. She was blushing so hard, I half-expected her eyes to go all bloodshot, too.

“It’s nothing,” said the girl from Planet Nothing, her wet hair swaying as she shook her head.

“I didn’t even say anything…”

Then she pressed her fingers into her closed eyes. No idea what that was about.

“Adachi, seriously, what’s wrong?”

At this, she went full Crab Mode, sinking beneath the water’s surface and blowing bubbles. Not to be weird, but you probably shouldn’t ingest public bathwater.

“Hmmmm…”

I could detect the faintest hint of something I had suspected for a long time. For the time being, I faced forward…but I wasn’t really seeing anything. Instead, all of my senses were focused on a particular area now outside my range of vision—the area where Adachi was located.

There it is.

After a moment, I could feel a different sort of heat mixed in with the rising steam: a heated gaze. It flickered away and back and away and back, almost like it was trying to send some kind of coded message.

“I see.”

At this point, I couldn’t keep playing dumb. It was looking like my suspicions were all but confirmed. Adachi was looking at me—ogling my body—and if I had to guess, probably because I was naked. She was my girlfriend, after all; she was in love with me. Of course, she would be attracted to me.

With this belated realization, I was in danger of veering into Crab Mode myself. But you know, if crabs could happily live their whole lives without any clothes… Gah, now’s not the time for jokes! This is about me and her—naked!

“Well, um…uhhhhhh…ummm…uhhhhhhhhh…” I really wasn’t sure if I should ask this question, but ultimately, my curiosity won out: “Do you like it?” My naked body, I mean. Oh god, why did I ask?! What if she says yes?!

Adachi was already flushed pink from the hot bathwater, but now she was burning scarlet with…you know…emotions and stuff. It was quite possibly the first time I’d ever seen her blush all the way to her forehead. She was so red, I half-expected her to pop like a balloon. That can’t be good for her blood pressure.

“Whanothing!” she blurted, like she was inventing a new word. “It’s nothing… It’s nothing…” She hung her head, and her mouth drooped into the water as she mumbled, causing the surface to ripple and splash back up into her face.

For some reason I couldn’t explain, this instilled in me a strange sense of duty: I have to shake her out of Crab Mode or she’ll suffocate to death. “C’mon, I just want to talk about it… You can talk to me, can’t you?” She had asked me to talk to her not too long ago, and now I was taking her up on it.

Crab Adachi straightened up slightly, returning to regular Red Adachi. Apparently, her time as a crab had boiled her brain. She looked at me, and her gaze started to drift south—but then she caught herself and pressed her hands to her eyes. Good grief, she’s so flustered.

“I promise I won’t get mad or weirded out, so tell me…do you like it?” Clearly, the heat had fried my senses too. Why on earth would we have this conversation in public?

She closed her eyes. I was expecting to get another “nothing,” but evidently, she was still debating how to respond. Her panic created ripples in the water; I inadvertently found myself looking past them to what was scarcely concealed underneath.

Uh, yep. Growing up has its downsides, all right.

Once she was (comparatively) calm, she slowly opened her eyes, as if waking from a midday nap. Her eyes and lips were trembling so hard, part of me was afraid they might fall off of her face altogether. Then, in a tiny whimper, she said: “…………Yes.”

At last, the girl from Planet Nothing was speaking my language.

“So you like my body? Wow, ha ha…” Now I couldn’t see straight. She had just confirmed that she liked seeing me naked.

“Uh, but to be clear, I don’t mean it like that! I, uh—you’re just so pretty that I—I mean, I can’t help it? But not like that!”

“Okay, okay. Take it easy. Deep breath.” If I let her keep babbling at me, we were liable to draw attention from everyone else in the room. “For now, let’s not sweat the details about why you like it, ’kay?”

The second I started asking those kinds of questions, one or both of us would probably short-circuit and pass out in the tub. I could already feel steam shooting from my ears. Meanwhile, Adachi was stammering helplessly, her eyes damp with budding tears. If I didn’t do something fast, she was headed straight back to Crab Mode.

Would she be offended if I asked her to keep her eyes to herself? If yes, then in what way? Could I play it off as a joke, like “Oh, my gosh, Sakura-san, you naughty girl”? I mean, I probably could, but there was no telling if it would improve the situation. Manga was full of similar hot spring situations, but in all the series I’d read, I couldn’t remember how any of the characters handled it.

At this point, I was tempted to lean into it and just let her look. Not like it would hurt anything…other than my dignity…or maybe her composure… Okay, then, I guess it’s fine. Wait, really?

With my head perpetually in the sand, I couldn’t see any problems at all.

“Well, uh…Adachi-san?”

Moments ago, I was relishing the ability to lounge with my legs stretched out, but now, suddenly, I felt compelled to sit up straight. As for Adachi, she looked like a clam with her shoulders hunched up around her ears.

“Yeee?!”

When she tried to speak, her voice cracked. She was in no condition to have a conversation. Thus, I decided to cut to the chase:

“Could you make it a little more…subtle? Like so I won’t notice?”

It was the best compromise I could offer her.

“Huh?!”

She stared at me in disbelief, but I turned away as if the conversation was over. Then, instead of crossing my arms over my chest, I purposely held them down at my sides, pressing my palms to the bottom of the tub. I desperately wanted to give the impression that I wasn’t bothered.

As I faced forward, I could see a whole bunch of naked classmates—no surprise there. I could also see a much smaller naked figure; somehow she had talked the girl next to her into washing her hair for her. Perhaps she was naturally imbued with the power to make others want to take care of her. But I digress.

My point is, there was a ton of nudity going on in here. Even I was naked. One would think it would have lost its novelty by now. But in Adachi’s case, evidently not.

If I stopped dancing around this issue and actually started to probe into it, maybe I’d learn more about who she was as a person. It felt like I’d missed my chance to expound upon our unique connection. But this really didn’t feel like the right time or place to delve into it. What we needed—oh, god, she’s looking! She’s totally looking!

Even with my gaze pointed in a completely different direction, it was super obvious. Not only that, but I could somehow feel exactly which parts she was focused on. If this was her idea of subtle, well, it needed some work. Unable to stand it any longer, I turned and looked straight into her eyes.

“Wait…c-could you tell?!” She looked back at me in shock. Are you kidding me?

“Uhhh, nope! Had no idea!” A cold sweat trickled down my back as I prayed for her to believe my blatant lie.

“Oh, okay,” she replied, relieved.

I could tell she wasn’t messing with me—most likely, she was dead serious. About looking at my…uh…areas. Why was she staring so intensely? If I had to guess…she was probably holding herself back from going any further. But I mean, if she’s only gonna look, then there’s nothing I need to worry about…right?

As I sat there in the bath, I keenly felt my skin grow damp with sweat instead of water. Beside me was my same-sex partner, staring at my naked body. And I was letting her look. All the while surrounded by our classmates.

“Maybe this is a really bad idea…”

I had no cover story for any of it. Honestly, I was tempted to just stop thinking altogether. It felt like we were breaking the rules of the trip somehow.

Originally, I wasn’t planning to stay for long, but in the end, we stayed in the tub until the very end of our scheduled timeslot. As for Adachi, she remained dizzy and flustered long after we had toweled off and gotten dressed, but was that because of the heat, or…something else?

For now, I would have to put that question on the backburner, because the answer was liable to cause a thousand more problems.

 

***

 

When I returned to our assigned room with my hair in a towel, I stepped in something cold and looked down at the floor. There was a trail of water leading toward my backpack like the fuse of a bomb. Ugh, PLEASE dry yourself off before you climb inside my backpack! Had she gotten my clothes or itinerary all wet? I was tempted to confront her, but couldn’t risk her popping her head out. As I debated it, I casually brushed the water trail with my foot as I walked, wiping it up.

Then I approached my backpack and held out my dirty clothes. She promptly vacuumed them up. Just don’t eat them and we’re cool.

After that, the Trio came in and sat down on the opposite side of the room, ever so slightly keeping their distance from us. But while they were talking and laughing, the two of us remained silent. Adachi was sitting cross-legged with a towel over her head, still blushing, and I didn’t know what to say to her. Not like we could joke about how she ogled my naked body for hours.

Would we get that comfortable with each other someday? I zoned out, trying to picture it, but with limited success. All I achieved was a small amount of embarrassment as my flushed skin gradually cooled off. Then, around the time my hair was finally dry, we all started rolling out our futons.

“Hmmmm.” The Trio’s beds seemed awfully far away from ours…or was I just getting paranoid?

“I’m pretty tired. Let’s get some sleep,” I heard one of them say.

Fair enough, I thought. The mood in the room wasn’t exactly conducive to late-night gossiping, anyway. I wondered if the other groups were having more fun than we were… Some people seemed to have a knack for making friends with just about anybody. Like Hino and Nagafuji, for instance.

“Let’s call it a night, or whatever!” said DeLos, though I wasn’t sure what the “or whatever” was supposed to mean.

“Point taken.” My body felt heavy, perhaps waterlogged from that intense bath.

As for Adachi, she was still zoned out, her body burning hot. I kinda wanted to ask her what she was thinking about, but another part of me was a little scared to find out. Our eyes met, and her bottom lip started to quaver. Then she shook her head vigorously—in response to what, I wasn’t sure.

When I crawled into bed, I found the pillow stiff, and the fabric of the blanket felt different from the one I used at home. All of this served to put a spotlight on the fact that I was sleeping somewhere else tonight. The corners of the futon were damp and smelled of mold, but in a way, the temperature difference I felt against my toes was actually sort of soothing. Even though it didn’t resemble my grandparents’ futons, it instilled me with a similar feeling of homesickness.

“Lights out!” called Sancho (or was it Panchos?) as darkness descended over us.

For a while, I wasn’t sure whether my eyes were open or shut; there was no longer any difference. But once my vision adapted, I caught a glimpse of Adachi’s eyes shifting in the dark. She was looking at me with a level of composure that suggested she had overcome her embarrassment, and somehow, I could tell she was begging me to talk about something. I pressed a finger to my lips, reminding her that it was bedtime and other people were around.

She blinked at me rapidly, then extended her left hand out from under her futon…in my direction, naturally. Now it sat in the gap between our beds on the floor… After a moment, I belatedly realized what she wanted. Then I reached out in kind.

There, surrounded by perfect silence, Adachi and I held hands. Hers carried the lingering warmth of the hot spring water. Then I saw her expression soften and wondered if she was thinking the same thing about me.

But if we didn’t scoot our futons closer, the others might see. No one was snoring yet, and if we fell asleep before they did, I was scared they might catch us.

What was it about Adachi’s warmth that made me so drowsy? The only skin contact was through our palms, and yet it seemed to spread all the way to my chest. I could feel my reservations being dragged away on the tide.

Eh, whatever.

If the Trio weren’t planning to get along with us, then I figured I may as well focus my energy on Adachi instead. Was it the right choice? That was for Future Me to decide, because right now, I didn’t care. Future Me could use a little homework anyway.

At last, the first day of the school trip was coming to an end. Absently, I wondered if this was what it was supposed to be like…but on second thought, there was no single “correct” way to go on a field trip.

So in that sense, perhaps this was simply the Shimamura way.