Interlude: Yashiro Comes Calling, Part 7

Interlude:
Yashiro Comes Calling
Part 7

“M MNNN…”

It occurs to me that I’m basically just pretending to do my homework.

I glance over at Yachi. She’s watching TV with my big sister, sitting between her legs and leaning up against her. Now my sister’s got blue sparklies all over her neck and chin. But she doesn’t notice, ’cuz she’s starting to fall asleep. She’s always so sleepy in the springtime. I wish she’d at least change out of her uniform when she gets home from school. Meanwhile, Yachi’s grinning and eating her egg bolo cookies.

Looking at them all cuddled up together, I can’t focus on my homework at all. But which one am I mad at? There’s this fuzzy feeling in my tummy, and it won’t go away.

“Hmm?”

Neechan catches me looking at her and glances over at me, her gaze unfocused. Our eyes meet, and for some reason I start feeling kinda awkward.

“Are we being too loud? Want me to mute it?” she asks, putting a hand on Yachi’s head as if she’s the problem. But Yachi keeps grinning.

“You should join us, Little.”

For some reason, her innocent invitation makes me super mad. “Wh… No way! I don’t… I don’t even want to! And I’ve got homework, anyway!”

“What a good little student.”

“Good on you!”

They start praising me, but I know they don’t actually care. Frustrated, I scratch my head. Then I go back to my homework, do one or two more problems…and stop again. Secretly, I shoot another glance in their direction. Once again, Neechan is nodding off while Yachi grins.

“Mmnnnn…”

Invite me again, dang it! Silently, I curse my stubbornness. And some other stuff.

“Hey, uh, Yachi? Come here for a sec,” I called, since I knew for a fact that Nee-chan was too lazy to get up.

“Yeeees?” Yachi answers, slowly turning in my direction.

“I think I need help with my homework.”

I don’t actually need help, but Yachi doesn’t question me for a second. Instead, she smirks. “Keh heh heh! You’ve come to the right place.”

Then she runs right over to me. On one hand, it’s a relief…but on the other hand, I kinda feel like a jerk for lying. The two feelings swirl inside me like a storm.

“After all, I am the great Yashiemon.”

You’re still talking about that? Really?

Behind her, Neechan sprawls out on the floor, limbs splayed in every direction.

“So, what’s this?” she asks, peering at the textbook lying open on my desk.

“Uh…math…?”

I thought it’d be obvious, considering all the pluses and minuses and stuff, but the look on Yachi’s face suggests she honestly has no idea. She’s clueless about a lot of stuff… Reminds me of the cake incident from the other day. How can she claim to have graduated school when she doesn’t even know what math is?

“Hmmm…”

“…”

“Ah…”

“…”

I sit in silence and wait for her to finish mulling over whatever it is she’s thinking about. She keeps murmuring and looking at the textbook.

Then, suddenly, she slams it shut, looks at me, and says, “&##$%.”

“What?”

“I repeat: &##$%.”

…I really can’t understand what she’s saying, so I mimic the sound back to her. “Oraaha?”

“Yes, precisely.” She nods, satisfied, her arms folded smugly.

“What language is that?”

“Alienese.”

“Alienese?!”

“It is some kind of slang from before I was born. I don’t know what it means.”

What happened to yes, precisely?!

“Would you like me to tell you about outer space?”

“Uhhhh…”

“Where shall I start? You see, my tribe has an average lifespan of approximately 800 million years, which is comparatively longer than most others…”

Gleefully, she launches into a tangent. I can’t tell whether she’s telling the truth or making it all up. For that matter, I never said I wanted to hear all this, but now I’m stuck listening to it. She keeps tossing out these giant numbers, the likes of which you’d never, ever see in a math textbook, and it feels like I’m totally trapped.

But my sister doesn’t come to save me. Instead, she rolls over onto her side and keeps on sleeping.

Meanwhile, I shoot a glance at my textbook.

Don’t tell Yachi, but…I’m starting to think she can’t do math.

~ Today’s Adachi Forecast~

What if Shimamura was a cat?

“Shimeow…”

What if I was a cat?

“Shimeow!”

…Not sure why, but something tells me we’d both have the same meow.