Chapter 2: I’ll Come See You, Whether You Ask or Not

Chapter 2:
I’ll Come See You, Whether You Ask or Not

THIS WAS THE FIRST TIME the words “summer break” had ever inspired feelings of dread. It was a month-long reprieve from my normal life at school, and while it usually felt as freeing as a cannonball into an Olympic-sized pool, this year I couldn’t remember how to swim. My limbs flailed in search of solid ground.

The closing ceremony was held on the last day of the first semester. In the classroom, I watched Shimamura. Then she yawned, and as she was wiping away an errant tear, our eyes met. I hastily averted my gaze.

I knew I (probably) wasn’t doing anything wrong, so why did I always stare down at the floor? Because I was ashamed to be caught looking at her? I mean, surely she had to be used to it by now. Should I stand my ground and keep looking at her? I lifted and lowered my head as I waffled back and forth. No, I can’t! It’s too mortifying!

My brain boiled; my neck and palms began to sweat. It was quite possible I was having the biggest emotional reaction in the entire room. Either that, or…you know…just overthinking it like always.

While our homeroom teacher was talking, I packed my book bag. Then, as soon as the bell rang, I headed straight to Shimamura’s desk. She must have anticipated this, because she was already looking in my direction. Stiffly, I raised my hand and started to—

“Adachi, why do you always look away when our eyes meet?” She hit me with a pre-emptive attack at point-blank range. Having missed their chance, my lips wavered in vain. Then came the follow-up: “You’re like a little mouse scurrying back to your nest.”

The way she giggled as she spoke, it was hard to tell whether I was meant to be embarrassed or not. Was she laughing in a friendly way or a mocking way? Should I take this to mean I need to cut it out? I started waffling again. Then she rose to her feet, book bag in hand, and I took my place at her side, even though I wasn’t explicitly invited.

“Oohoohoo!” Shimamura chuckled as she looked up at me.

“Wh-what?”

“I see you’re wearing your hairpin again!”

Reflexively, I reached up and gently stroked the flower hairpin—a gift from Shimamura herself.

“Do you like it?”

I nodded hastily, and she grinned. Personally, the sight of her wearing a matching hairpin was enough to set my chest on fire.

It wasn’t until we approached the stairs that I sensed the impending danger: that we were going to part ways without another word. Having snapped back to reality, I started to sweat all over again. “Hey, so…it’s summer break, huh?”

“Yup, sure is.”

We kept walking. Wasn’t there anything else I could say to keep the conversation going? Complain about the cicadas? No, stupid. She won’t have anything to say about that. “What kind of plans do you…have planned?”

The question came out a little oddly worded. She stooped slightly. “I haven’t planned any plans yet,” she replied, echoing my word choice.

For a moment I was embarrassed, but then it hit me: “Does that mean I could email you and stuff?”

“Sure. I mean, you already email me all the time.”

“I know, but since it’s summer break, there might be…a lot…I dunno…”

“It’s fine, it’s fine!”

While I struggled to get the words out, Shimamura remained cool as a cucumber. My greedy side started to rear its head. Maybe I could ask for more. “Oh, and if you have time…it’d be cool if we could…hang out sometime…”

“Bring it on, girl.”

She thumped my chest playfully. At this, I was both relieved and…um…thrown off-balance; so light and airy, a stiff breeze could have sent me flying. Er, not that I was flustered because she touched me or anything. Of course not.

Shimamura was the source of all my worries. Without school to bring the two of us together, summer break would be an empty void—unless I made an effort. Like the cicadas, I needed to be vocal in order to get what I wanted.

Then we walked down the stairs to the shoe lockers, and as I stood with my shoes in hand, I called her name. “Shimamura?”

“Hmm?”

She looked over her shoulder at me. Her neck was sweaty, and she had unbuttoned her shirt slightly. The dim fluorescent lighting overhead mingled with the sunshine streaming in through the front entrance. This was the door to summer, and I found myself drawn to it. I couldn’t think straight.

“Over summer break, I…you know…I’d really like to get to know you better so yeah okay cool.” Partway through, my brain started melting, and I started to ramble at the speed of sound. None of it was as eloquent as I’d hoped. Especially the part at the end.

“Get to know me better…?”

This must have confused her, because she didn’t seem enthusiastic. At least, not to me. But if I launched into some long-winded explanation, how would she react? What if I told her I wanted to go to the pool, or walk around town, or grab drinks at a café? Would she be uncomfortable? I wasn’t so optimistic to imagine that she’d readily accept.

Standing in front of Shimamura, my heart pounded in my chest. While this was the driving force that spurred me onward, it was also my weak point laid bare. Part of me was terrified that one day I’d reach out only to have my hand slapped away.

But then…she smiled at me.

“I’m not sure I fully understand, but…I look forward to it.”

That smile marked the start of a restless, sleepless summer.

***

The best part of summer break: not having to get up in the morning.

“Or so I thought,” I muttered as I lay slumped over the kitchen table at 7 in the morning. Not to mention I had stayed up late talking to Adachi on the phone, so yeah. My eyelids did not want to be open right now.

“I don’t wanna have to deal with dirty dishes later, so this is my solution. If you want, you can go back to bed after you eat,” said my mother, the villain who woke me, as she poured me a bowl of cereal. Then the milk went in, and I pushed myself up into a sitting position, caving to the demands of my parched throat.

“Oh, Nee-chan, you’re always such a baby in the morning,” my little sister scoffed.

Unlike me, this one was a bundle of energy right from the moment she snapped awake. Apparently she got up at six o’clock to go do calisthenics in the park. I didn’t even know that was still a thing. Come to think of it, when did she start sassing me like this?

“I simply can’t get enough of this coconut flavor. Yum yum,” said the gremlin with the sparkly blue hair. It was Yashiro, of course. Apparently she and my sister had bumped into each other at the park. Did no one ever teach you not to bring strays home with you? Now she’s eating our cereal, for Pete’s sake.

“Hmmm…”

At least she’s enjoying it, I thought to myself as I gazed at her soft, plump cheeks.

There was something magnetizing about her; I cared about her a bit too much to write her off as a stranger, probably because I saw so much of my childhood self in her. In particular, the way she ran with her hands out in front of her was practically identical. But although I didn’t like everything about her, oddly enough, I still wanted to look out for her. Maybe that was why my sister liked her and my mother never objected to her presence—because they both saw traces of me alive in her. The thought made me feel conflicted.

Time passed as I ate my breakfast, then brushed my teeth and washed my face. After the little ones left the house, blissfully forgetting that there was homework assigned over the break, I crawled back into my futon. My sister had recently switched to a light summer blanket, but I slept under a comforter all year round. Was it hot under here? Extremely. But I didn’t feel secure unless I was all curled up under something heavy. Maybe I was subconsciously seeking some sort of maternal warmth.

The exact moment I lay down, however, my phone started to ring, shattering my peace and quiet with laser precision. Instantly my skull felt like lead.

“Uggghhh…”

But I couldn’t very well just lay there and let it ring, since that would be rude. So I crawled out of bed and grabbed my phone off the table, banging my arm on the corner in the process.

“…Oh. Not who I was expecting.”

I’d thought it was Adachi, but it was in fact Tarumi. I hadn’t seen her in a good two weeks or so. These days we’d meet up periodically, whenever she randomly invited me to something. Every time we hung out, I discovered new things that had changed and old things that had stayed the same… It was actually kind of fun.

When I answered the phone, Tarumi started talking immediately. “Yo, Shima-chan!”

I don’t know who “Yoshima-chan” is, but it sure ain’t me. “Yo, yo.”

“It’s summer break for you, right?”

“For us, yeah… Well, I guess all the schools probably run on the same schedule.”

Tarumi was probably on break, too, unless she had club activities or something… I couldn’t remember ever asking her. Wait, no, maybe I did. The topic might have come up back before we smoothed out all the bumps in our renewed friendship. That would probably explain why I couldn’t remember. Ugh, listen to me justifying my own memory loss. I sound like Nagafuji.

“How are you?”

“Good, good…” I couldn’t exactly tell her she was keeping me awake, so instead I forced a laugh.

“Okay, uhhh… Oh! How’d finals go?”

“Ha ha ha ha…” Classic Taru-chan. What a joker.

Then I heard a cicada start chirping somewhere nearby and looked up. It was so bright outside my window, it felt like someone had cranked the dial up to 12. Everyone else in my life was a chipper little early bird; was I simply the odd one out? Honestly, even if I had the energy to do something, I couldn’t think of anything to spend it on.

“That reminds me, Shima-chan… Um, this is just an idea, but… Like, for real, it’s no big deal if you don’t want to, but…”

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Her lead-up put me on guard. It sounded like the kind of disclaimer that preceded a giant hassle. And regardless of her intentions, good or bad, it felt heavy.

Swallowing, she continued, “Would you wanna come with me to the fireworks festival next week?”

That invitation marked the start of a summer spent dreaming about a world beyond the deep blue.

~Today’s Adachi Forecast~

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble. Erase.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

Scribble, scribble, erase. Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

Scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble, scribble.

It wasn’t exactly “complete”—I just ran out of room.