Chapter 117: The Pleasure Tube

Bao Ning jumped from the pinch. She spun around to check if anyone was watching before finally relaxing.

“Can’t you be serious for once?” Bao Ning whispered to him. “Go get two pairs of clean bowls and chopsticks; it’s time to eat.”

“What’s the fun in just eating?” Pei Yuan took a step forward, circling Bao Ning in his arms. He leaned down to suck gently on her eyelid. “In the past, we always did that in the room. It’s so stuffy and dull. Let’s try it outside this time—there’s a breeze and a moon…”

Bao Ning interrupted him: “And giant poisonous mosquitoes.”

Pei Yuan rolled up his sleeves and tapped her forehead. “You have no sense of romance.”

Bao Ning shot him a look. “Clearly, it’s you who is being too bold and dissolute.”

She clapped her hands to call both dogs over, picking up Ah-Huang to check its neck. The jade plaque Ah-Huang wore was a bit heavy; it had rubbed a bald ring around its neck, and some spots were even bleeding. Bao Ning was heartbroken. She trimmed the fur around the wound and applied medicine. She then tucked the jade plaque away, deciding the dog would wear it no more.

Pei Yuan, shocked by her choice of words, grabbed her and asked indignantly, “You called me dissolute ?”

Bao Ning replied, “Other people see a forest and think of poetry and romance. You, on the other hand, have nothing but unspeakable things in your head. Is that not being dissolute?”

Pei Yuan glared at her. “Say that again if you dare.”

Bao Ning ignored him. She set Ah-Huang down and walked toward Nanny Liu, asking, “Are the steamed buns ready?”

Pei Yuan called out to her, but she paid him no mind, leaving him standing alone to stew in his anger.

Jixiang sat silently to the side, gazing at the sky. Seeing that Pei Yuan hadn’t left, the dog glanced at him. Man and dog locked eyes.

For some reason, Pei Yuan’s brain flicked a switch, and he suddenly snapped at the dog: “Widow dog.”

Jixiang squinted its small eyes, confused.

Pei Yuan continued, “Oh, you aren’t even a widow. I don’t think you’ll ever find a husband in this life. What kind of dog does that make you? A pathetic dog.”

Jixiang began to howl. Pei Yuan’s mood improved significantly. He went inside to change, washed his hands, and came out to eat, though his face remained cold.

Dinner was served in the courtyard at a small stone table. Bao Ning and Pei Yuan sat opposite each other with steamed buns, roast chicken, and several side dishes. Bao Ning spread a bun in her bowl, added a layer of washed cabbage leaves, then several pieces of chicken, crisp cucumber strips, tender potato shreds, and a spoonful of secret sauce. She wrapped it up and handed it to Pei Yuan.

“Eat. Don’t be angry anymore.”

Pei Yuan straightened his chopsticks, took the wrap, and said flatly, “I’m not angry.”

Bao Ning glanced at him, thinking: Believe that and I’m a fool. She knew her earlier words had touched a nerve and intended to reconcile. She searched for a topic: “You didn’t come back after leaving this morning. Where did you have lunch?”

Pei Yuan replied, “Out with Wei Meng, on West Street.”

“Oh, West Street,” Bao Ning added chicken to his bowl. “What did you eat?”

Pei Yuan replied, “Dumplings.”

“Oh, dumplings. How nice.” Bao Ning gave him another piece of chicken. “There are quite a few dumpling shops on West Street. Which one did you go to?”

Pei Yuan replied, “Sister-in-law Zhang’s Steamed Dumplings.”

When did this man become so stingy with his words? Is he truly that mad? Bao Ning tore off a chicken leg and put it in his bowl, asking with a smile, “What was the filling?”

Pei Yuan said, “Pork and cabbage.”

He answered only exactly what was asked, showing no initiative to chat. Bao Ning could only push forward: “Did you dip them in vinegar?”

Pei Yuan finally looked up to face her properly. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Bao Ning turned serious, frowning slightly as she whispered, “Don’t you think that in certain areas, we’ve developed a bit of a… conflict that isn’t impossible to resolve?”

Pei Yuan stuffed the entire wrap into his mouth in two bites. “No.”

Bao Ning counted on her fingers for him. “Since moving to the Prince’s Manor, tell me, how many times have you… done that? It’s about three times every two days. I feel so tired; you must be very tired too…”

“I’m not tired.” Pei Yuan put the chicken leg back in her bowl. “If you’re tired, eat more.”

Bao Ning cast aside her shame. She was determined to settle this today. “One of the servants was sick today and a doctor came. When I saw him, I casually asked what happens if one overindulges in… bedroom matters. Do you know what he said? It can kill you! At best, you get dark circles, lose weight, and lack energy. At worst, you have a stroke. Do you know what a stroke is? It means you lie in bed, unable to move, and I have to serve you, bring you water and food, wipe your body and empty your chamber pot… maybe even with a crooked mouth and slanted eyes…”

The more Pei Yuan listened, the darker his expression became. He slammed his chopsticks down with a clack . “Who told you all this!”

“Don’t worry about that. Wait, let me show you something.” Bao Ning stood up, hurried into the house, and rushed back out with a piece of paper which she presented to him.

By the dimming evening light, Pei Yuan saw that she had written out her own calendar. Behind each date, she had drawn markings in red or black ink—some were black circles, others were red crosses. The crosses far outnumbered the circles.

Bao Ning explained, “I also studied the Way of the I Ching ¹ The I Ching (Book of Changes) is an ancient Chinese divination text and philosophical system built on 64 symbolic hexagrams that describe how the balance of Yin and Yang governs the constant flow of change in the universe this afternoon. All things are born and grow together; they carry the Yin and embrace the Yang, achieving harmony through the blending of breaths. So, I drew this. Let’s follow this for our future bedroom matters. Once every five days is more suitable. That way you have time to replenish your energy, and I can get more rest. Plus, our future children will be more beautiful and clever if the father and mother are both in good health!”

“What does any of this have to do with the I Ching ? Stop dragging the I Ching through the mud.” Pei Yuan’s gaze grew dangerous. Seeing Bao Ning clamp her mouth shut, he asked, “Are you finished?”

Bao Ning let out an “Ah” and said, “There’s one more thing I haven’t shown you. I meant to wait until after dinner, but since you’re in such a hurry, I’ll show you now.”

Pei Yuan watched her run back inside and emerge with a wooden box, which she handed to him with a flushing face.

Pei Yuan frowned, pressing his thumb against her cheek. “Why is your face so red? Is the wind too cold?”

Bao Ning said, “Open it and see.”

Her expression was too abnormal. Pei Yuan stared at the box for a moment before clicking the latch open. Before opening it, he imagined a thousand possibilities. Since Bao Ning was so nervous, it couldn’t be anything good. Was it a prank? Had she caused trouble?

But when it actually opened, Pei Yuan was dumbfounded. He had never seen such a thing; he didn’t recognize it.

It was a wooden, mold-like object, hollow inside with openings at both ends. It looked like a hollow bamboo tube but narrower. Feeling inside with a finger, it was very soft—not the fluffiness of cotton, but a firm, dense softness.

Noticing his confusion, Bao Ning explained, “It’s made from thick pigskin.”

Pei Yuan set the object down. “What on earth is this for?”

Bao Ning said nervously, “I’ve been pondering this ever since I saw the doctor. I spent the whole afternoon developing it. It can help you, and it can help me. So, I named it… the Pleasure Tube!”

She walked over, picked up the “Pleasure Tube,” and began to demonstrate for him.

Initially, Pei Yuan was calm. He simply thought Bao Ning had made another toy on a whim. But when she lifted the hem of his robe, his face froze.

Bao Ning lifted his hem, pointed at a certain spot, and said, “Suppose my finger is your… that.”

Pei Yuan watched, wide-eyed, as Bao Ning—blushing but determined—stuck her finger into the “Pleasure Tube,” rubbed it back and forth rapidly a few times, then pulled it out and whispered, “You understand now, right?”

Pei Yuan felt a lump in his throat; his mind went blank.

He opened his mouth several times to speak but couldn’t find the right words. His hand on the table slowly balled into a fist until he finally roared: “Ji Bao Ning!”

“Don’t be so fierce!” Bao Ning stood straight and explained hurriedly. “You’re always making me use my hands. When you’re relieved, my palms hurt, which is why I thought of this. Isn’t this better? You can toss and turn however you like; pigskin doesn’t feel pain, and it won’t disturb my sleep.”

Pei Yuan was momentarily speechless.

He snatched the tube away, locked it back in the box, and—as if throwing away something filthy—tossed the box into the corner of the wall. “Don’t let me see that thing ever again!”

Bao Ning stood with her hands behind her back. Standing up, she was slightly taller than Pei Yuan as she met his gaze.

After a long while, Pei Yuan’s mood finally settled. He tried to use a gentle tone: “In this matter… have I made you uncomfortable?”

Bao Ning nodded. “Yes.”

“I will change in the future.” Pei Yuan pulled her hand into his palm. “We have plenty of time. We can slowly adjust until you can accept this.”

Bao Ning frowned. “I don’t like it. It’s embarrassing, and it hurts.”

“It’s because I haven’t done well,” Pei Yuan repeated. “I will change. We’ll do it according to your ideas.”

Bao Ning was half-skeptical. “Really?”

Pei Yuan asked, “Have I ever lied to you?”

“My ideas…” Bao Ning reached for the calendar again. “My idea is… how about once every fifteen days…”

Pei Yuan split the paper in half with a single strike of his palm. He barked: “Keep dreaming!”

“But I must rest tonight.” Bao Ning knew she had pushed too far and stopped mentioning the paper. Instead, she said, “Sleep well. Don’t touch me with your wandering hands. Don’t touch me for three days.”

Pei Yuan stared at her with a grim face for a long time. Finally, he relaxed and forced a slight smile. “Fine.”

Bao Ning said, “Then continue eating.” As she spoke, she moved to pick up the box again.

Pei Yuan shouted, “If you dare bring that ‘Pleasure Tube’ into the room tonight, don’t expect any pleasure for the rest of the month!”

Bao Ning pulled her hand back sheepishly. “Then I’ll go find Nanny Liu to boil hot water. I need to bathe after eating.”

The roast chicken was still delicious, but as Pei Yuan chewed, he no longer felt the enjoyment from earlier. He thought restlessly: Why doesn’t Bao Ning like doing that? What is inside her head that she would even think of making a ‘Pleasure Tube’? I have to do something… to make Bao Ning love this from the bottom of her heart, even to the point of seeking it out herself.

After finishing his meal, Pei Yuan sat outside for a while before walking into the bathhouse with a dark expression.

Bao Ning, however, was very happy. She diligently prepared the scented soap and new clothes, then sat by the lamp sewing as she waited for him to finish so she could bathe. Lately, Pei Yuan had been going to the martial arts field more often, and his clothes were always tearing. It felt too extravagant to throw them away, so she mended them; even if he didn’t wear them, they could be donated to a temple.

The thread ran out. Bao Ning squinted as she tried to thread the needle. When Nanny Liu entered looking deeply troubled, it gave Bao Ning a start. “What’s wrong?”

Nanny Liu said, “General Qiu is here. He says he wants to see you.”

Bao Ning didn’t catch the second half at first. She looked toward the bathhouse and said, “The Prince will be out in a moment. Ask General Qiu to wait in the parlor.”

Nanny Liu said, “He didn’t go to the parlor. General Qiu stayed at the back gate—he only wants to see you.”

Sansukini: Bao Ning’s mind… she’s not normal for this era. Lol. I can’t believe she made a shex toy for her husband.

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