Chapter 159: Yearning

Bao Ning spent the entire afternoon drawing up a list containing all the well-known shopkeepers, prominent families, and hereditary nobles in Feng County, totaling eighty individuals.

She grabbed a hasty bite for dinner and then set out into the night with Liang Quan and Nanny Liu to borrow grain.

As expected, she was given the cold shoulder at every turn.

Looking at those who in the past would fawn over her with flattering smiles and obsequious bows, Bao Ning saw they were still smiling today, but their eyes shifted erratically, filled with contempt and resistance. Most of them cried poverty to her, spouting vague, polite pleasantries. A small portion tactfully told her that they could sell a tiny bit of grain to her first, but selling all of it was out of the question; they also needed to hold onto something to save their own lives.

Bao Ning knew exactly what they were thinking. The city had not fallen yet. Although the enemy army was right outside the walls, it was still different from having a blade pressed directly against their throats. Those nobles did not know the suffering of the common people; the lives they led were almost identical to before. They were still harborings illusions of a lucky escape, unwilling to put all their effort into resisting the enemy. They wanted to hoard the grain until the very end, waiting for the government to compromise and buy it at a higher rate, or simply sell it to the common citizens at exorbitant prices to make a fortune out of the crisis.

Whoever sold right now would be deemed a fool. Not only would they be mocked as idiots, but they would also be ostracized by the others.

By the second watch of the night, Bao Ning bid farewell with a smile to the shopkeeper of the largest silk store in Feng County, returning to the Prince’s manor in utter exhaustion.

As she sat by the table sipping hot tea, Nanny Liu kneaded Bao Ning’s shoulders with heartache, saying angrily, “Those wealthy merchants are every single one of them blinded by greed. They don’t even stop to think: if the city is truly breached, what use will it be for them to guard that grain? The Xiongnu soldiers will plunder and burn it whenever they please. They won’t even know how they died. Their vision is as short-sighted as rats in a granary. A person of Your Highness’s noble status came to their doors personally to plead despite being pregnant, yet they actually… It’s one thing for the merchants to act like this, but those regional commanders, administrators, and registrars, who draw their salaries from the imperial court, are actually colluding with them!”

Liang Quan remarked, “It’s simply that no one is willing to stick their neck out first. If we were placed in their situation, it would also be understandable. If you were guarding ten thousand taels of silver, knowing full well that it might turn into a hundred thousand or a million taels in the future, how could you be willing to sell it at its original price right now? Compared to loyalty to the sovereign and love for the country, most people look out for themselves first. When profits are right before one’s eyes, those who dare to immediately cast them aside are sages; ordinary people are bound to hesitate.”

Bao Ning nodded. “Master Liang speaks with absolute precision.”

Nanny Liu asked anxiously, “Then what should be done about this?”

“If no one is willing to stick their neck out, then I will be the first,” Bao Ning instructed Liang Quan. “Master Liang will likely find it difficult to rest tonight. I must trouble you to dispatch soldiers to transport all the grain out of the granaries within my manor. I will stay up through the night to take stock of all the property, estates, and shops under my name. All losses caused by the buying and selling of grain this time will not be recorded in the official government accounts; I will bear them entirely. Once my funds are depleted, the public accounts can make up the difference. Tomorrow morning, I will first visit the homes of officials above the fifth rank in the city to persuade them one by one, setting an example for the populace.”

Nanny Liu was shocked. “Princess, have you thought this through? There are nearly five hundred thousand soldiers and civilians in the city. Conducting such a business will drain the manor’s land and property within a month at most. This…”

Bao Ning cut her off gently, “To fight this war, so many people have lost their very lives. For me to merely part with some wealth is nothing in comparison.”

Liang Quan could not hold back the hot tears that welled up in his eyes. He had never imagined that a frail woman could possess such decisiveness and mettle. After listening to Bao Ning, he immediately stood up and bowed deeply. “This official may be lacking in talent, but I am willing to exert myself to the utmost, bending over backward for Your Highness and for Feng County. Upon my return, I will take stock of the money and grain in my own home and offer it all up to contribute my meager strength!”

Bao Ning also felt a sourness in the corners of her eyes. She stood up and returned his gesture with a formal curtsy. “Thank you, Master Liang.”

……

Before the sky had even turned bright, the Prince’s manor was already bustling with activity. Countless people moved in and out, with Nanny Liu leading servants to register each item being carried away on a ledger. Bao Ning sat on the soft couch cradling Yuanzi, watching as the precious antiques, jade artifacts, jewelry, and ornaments in the room were transported out piece by piece.

The room instantly became empty and hollow.

To say she didn’t feel a pang of heartache would be a lie. Bao Ning closed her eyes and buried her face in the crook of Yuanzi’s neck, trying hard to compose her emotions.

Sensing the dampness on his neck, Yuanzi wrapped his arms around Bao Ning’s shoulders, offering gentle comfort. “Auntie, I think you are so great. I heard Uncle Liang say it: many uncles found out about what you did, and they didn’t even sleep last night, donating their own things as well. Uncle Liang said that it was you who saved Feng County, and it is all worth it. Auntie, don’t cry. Even if we have no money right now, thousands of pieces of gold scattered will come back again. When Uncle returns, he will definitely be very proud and will work even harder to make money for you. If Uncle proves useless, then just wait for me to grow up; I will earn lots of money for you to spend in the future.”

“Yuanzi…” Bao Ning held him even tighter, finally unable to hold back from sobbing out loud.

The collapse of her emotional dam happened in an instant. Recalling her helplessness during this period and thinking of the missing Pei Yuan whose whereabouts were unknown, Bao Ning could not stop her tears.

In the morning, she had gone to the wardrobe to retrieve a scarf and chanced upon the clothes Pei Yuan used to wear. Those garments were neatly folded on one side. For a fleeting moment, Bao Ning felt as if she were hallucinating; she seemed to see Pei Yuan walking over with his usual sour expression, pointing at those clothes and throwing a tantrum, scolding her, “I don’t like blue trousers, I don’t want to wear them. I ruined them on purpose, so why did you sew them back up?”

If it had been in the past, Bao Ning would have definitely bickered back with him unhappily, pointing out that the trousers he ruined weren’t just one or two pairs—how was she supposed to know he did it on purpose? Besides, what was wrong with blue? Right now, blue trousers were the height of fashion among the young men in the city; it was just that he was getting older, his mind wasn’t flexible, and he was stubborn. He should just wear whatever he was given, so why all the whining? Truly annoying.

But at that moment, Bao Ning could say nothing at all. She stared at that phantom figure as if possessed, not even daring to reach out and touch it, terrified that it would vanish the instant she did.

She listened in absolute silence, yearning for him to speak just a few more words.

As it turned out, those fragments of time from the past—the most ordinary, the least cherished moments—had actually been so profoundly blissful.

In some corner unknown to her, was Pei Yuan missing her too?

She was trying very hard, and she had not brought shame upon him.

……

The heavy snow that had fluttered for dozens of days finally ground to a halt. Rotating his wheelchair, Pei Yuan moved to the window, narrowing his eyes to look at the long-awaited sunlight outside.

Le Xu was sitting outside, chatting and teasing a young maid from Su Wei’s manor. Pei Yuan glanced at him, thinking to himself that when they first met, this man seemed as detached and aloof as the pristine white snow on a high mountain, possessing a cold aura that kept people a thousand miles away. Who could have guessed that he was actually a social butterfly, fluttering among the flowers all day long, striking up a conversation with any girl he managed to catch?

Feeling his back turn prickly under Pei Yuan’s gaze, Le Xu bid a reluctant farewell to the bashful young maid, turned around, and walked into the room, asking as he did, “Well? Are you feeling any better today?”

Pei Yuan gave an “nn” sound in response.

Le Xu raised an eyebrow. “What do you think about all day? You’re just like a wooden carving. We’ve been together for a month, and I haven’t seen you smile once.”

Pei Yuan countered, “Why should I smile for you to see?”

Le Xu was left speechless. After a long pause, he said helplessly, “Fair enough.”

Pei Yuan ignored him further. Reaching his hand into his lapel to search around, he retrieved a small wooden stick and then pulled out a dagger. Lowering his head, he earnestly carved a notch into it, scraping it back and forth to make the mark deeper. His left hand could exert no strength, rendering his movements slow and clumsy.

Noticing that the small stick was already neatly carved with numerous marks, Le Xu asked in confusion, “What are you doing that for?”

“Counting the days.”

Pei Yuan blew away the sawdust on the stick and counted them once more from beginning to end—exactly thirty-two notches.

This meant he had not seen Bao Ning for thirty-two days.

Pei Yuan pondered. When he left, Bao Ning was three months pregnant; now she was just past four months, so her belly should have grown larger. He measured against his lower abdomen with his right hand, thinking to himself that it ought to be about this big by now. A little life resided within, their child, who would enter the world crying in another five months. Bao Ning was so afraid of the cold that she would definitely be wearing a lot of clothes every day, bundling herself up like a fluffy bear. Remembering the way she used to sway as she waddled through the snow to have snowball fights with Yuanzi, and that time Jixiang accidentally shattered her vase, causing her to chase Jixiang all over the courtyard with a small stick in a furious huff, Pei Yuan could not help but smile.

But on second thought, now that Bao Ning no longer had him guarding her side, was the situation in Feng County truly alright? Was her health holding up? Would she be unable to eat due to morning sickness, or unable to sleep because she was worried about him?

Pei Yuan’s smile vanished once more.

He felt an overwhelming pang of heartache and guilt. He had failed to accompany Bao Ning through her most difficult times; he had left her all alone in such a perilous place. How terrified she must be. She was still like an ungrown child herself, someone who needed to be protected, yet he had so irresponsibly thrust this heavy burden upon her shoulders.

Would Bao Ning be angry? Would she cry?

And how was he supposed to make it up to her, or coax her back into happiness?

Le Xu watched the shifting expressions on Pei Yuan’s face in silence, having long since grown accustomed to it. The prince had been like this ever since the day he woke up—muttering to himself like a lunatic, and as long as they weren’t discussing business, he would just sit by the window staring blankly into space. No one knew what he was thinking, and no one dared to ask.

The room was so quiet that only the crackling sound of burning charcoal could be heard.

Suddenly, hurried footsteps echoed from outside.

Pei Yuan looked up to see Su Wei. His face was filled with anxiety, and he held a letter tightly in his hand. Le Xu could tell at a glance that something momentous had occurred. Sensing it was inconvenient for him to remain in the room, he picked up a few fruits from the table, tucked them into his sleeve, and tactfully took his leave.

Su Wei reported, “Your Highness, the men dispatched to the capital to gather information have just returned. Something has indeed happened!”

Pei Yuan tucked his small wooden stick safely back into his chest pocket and said in a calm voice, “Let’s hear it.”

“His Majesty… His Majesty is critically ill!”

Pei Yuan abruptly snapped his head up, repeating the words in disbelief, “Critically ill? What does critically ill mean? What did the imperial physicians say?”

“It means… it means he could pass away at any moment,” Su Wei said, bracing himself. “The Third Prince and the Fifth Prince have both returned to the capital. The Eastern Palace is without a master, and the imperial palace is currently in utter chaos. On the surface, everyone is anxious over His Majesty’s illness, but in secret, each faction is making their own moves, all seeking to usurp the throne. Chancellor Dong led his cohort of veteran officials, claiming that the Fifth Prince is too young and lacks the capability to be a ruler, and proposed to enthrone the Third Prince. Empress Shen’s faction adamantly refused to agree, but Chancellor Dong’s influence is formidable, and the Third Prince also commands a vast network of connections within the court. Empress Shen’s faction is gaining no ground and has already been placed at a disadvantage. The messengers we previously dispatched have all been detained by Chancellor Dong, and the provisions and military equipment that should have been shipped to Yanbei have also been withheld. Chancellor Dong must have colluded with the Third Prince, intending to use this campaign to trap you… so as to shield the Third Prince as he ascends the throne in one swift move!”

As Su Wei spoke, he grew increasingly incensed. “With my pair of blind eyes, I previously regarded Chancellor Dong as a good official who loved the people as his own children, which was why I willingly joined his faction. Who could have guessed that he harbored such treacherous intentions! Thinking back now, that scoundrel Dai Zeng must have been planted by his side long ago. Now they even dare to intercept reinforcements and provisions—truly utterly shameless!”

Pei Yuan fell into deep thought for a long while before suddenly noting, “That’s not right. Although Dong Yushu is the head of the civil officials, he still has no way to extend his hands into the military. Right now, the one in charge of all military camp affairs in the capital ought to be General-in-Chief Feng Huchang. General Feng has always been upright and just; early on, Pei Xiao wished to win him over, but General Feng always held him in contempt. Could it be that he is now colluding with Pei Xiao as well?”

Su Wei replied, “Your Highness, the scouts who returned this time also brought back a woman. They claim she is your sister-in-law, the fourth daughter of Ji Changping, Duke of Rong State—the former Crown Prince’s side consort, Ji Jiaying. Madam Ji says she has news regarding General Feng and wishes to see you.”

Pei Yuan was shocked for a brief moment before immediately straightening his posture. “Let her in.”

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