Chapter 167: Extra 3

(1)

During the second month of her pregnancy, Bao Ning suffered from the most severe morning sickness. It reached the point where she would throw up almost everything she ate. The only thing she could stomach was the stinky tofu sold by Old Lady Zhang from the West Street.

To get her to eat more, Pei Yuan sent someone to buy an entire jar of stinky tofu—the large kind used for pickling sour vegetables, containing nearly a hundred catties of tofu inside. According to Nanny Liu’s recollection, even Ah Huang threw up when the jar’s lid was lifted and went three straight days without eating. Bao Ning, however, was delighted. For reasons unknown, she adored that smell—it smelled sweeter to her than flowers, and the more she ate, the more delicious it became. Eventually, she couldn’t even go a single meal without it.

Not only that, she even specially found a small jar, filled it with the broth from the stinky tofu, covered it with two layers of thin gauze cloth, and placed it right beside the bed so she could smell it while sleeping.

Regarding such a bizarre habit, Pei Yuan didn’t mind at first. Morning sickness symptoms were inherently varied and strange—as long as she liked it and felt comfortable, that was all that mattered. But over the next half month, Bao Ning kept guard over that stinky tofu jar every single day, no longer burning any incense. To ensure the smell stayed fresh and long-lasting, she replaced the stinky tofu with a new batch every three days, sleeping next to the jar at night and reading popular romance novels beside it during the day, as if she were addicted to it.

Pei Yuan couldn’t describe the smell in the room; it was probably no different from a latrine—he hadn’t even been to a latrine that stank so badly.

However, it didn’t matter. He could endure it. He couldn’t bear to be separated from Bao Ning because of this, even though Bao Ning didn’t seem to care much about being separated from him.

Yuanzi bought her a stack of miscellaneous romance novels on the street, a full foot high. Immersed in the fantastical world of stories, Bao Ning wouldn’t say more than a few words to him all day.

That didn’t matter either. If she didn’t want to talk, then so be it; he wasn’t someone who couldn’t stop blabbering anyway. It was fine just sitting beside her to keep her company—passing her a cup of tea when she was thirsty and handing her a plate of osmanthus cake when she was hungry. Wasn’t that quite nice?

Until one day, Wei Meng returned from his patrol outside. Upon seeing him, he asked in surprise, “Little General, did you fall into a dung pit?”

Pei Yuan’s heart sank. Before he could explain, Wei Meng added, “And not just any dung pit, but an aged one—the shit inside smells like it’s gone sour!”

When Wei Meng arrived, he was holding wine and food in his hand, but looking at Pei Yuan, he lost all his appetite. Waving his hand, he walked back out: “Forget it, I’ll go back and eat by myself. You had better hurry and take a bath; don’t come out to plague people anymore!”

Pei Yuan was embarrassed and flushed with annoyance. He suddenly recalled the looks the servants had been giving him lately, and remembered Nanny Liu dropping hints two days ago, saying it had been very difficult to schedule the servants recently—everyone was fighting to sweep the latrines and scrub the chamber pots rather than come on duty in their courtyard.

Pei Yuan hadn’t realized anything was wrong at the time, flippantly replying, “Isn’t it good that they’re willing to work hard? Give them a raise in monthly wages to encourage them more.”

Now he finally understood: everyone was disgusted by the smell!

Pei Yuan paced around the doorway with his hands behind his back for nearly an hour, deciding that he couldn’t let Bao Ning continue like this. He had to go persuade her!

Just as he entered the room, he saw Bao Ning sitting cross-legged on the bed with a yellowed booklet on her lap. As she flipped through it, she wiped her tears with a small handkerchief, having cried until her eyes were swollen.

Pei Yuan was startled. Forgetting all about the stinky tofu, he rushed over and asked, “What’s wrong? What are you crying for?”

“Zhang Sheng’s concubine died!” Bao Ning sobbed, then cursed, “Good riddance to bad rubbish, that vicious, wicked woman! And Zhang Sheng, that stinky man blinded by lard! Only his legitimate wife, Lady Yu, is pitiable… What’s the use of him regretting it now? What’s the use of killing the concubine? Can Lady Yu and the child in her womb come back to life?”

Pei Yuan was bewildered. He didn’t quite understand, but knowing that Bao Ning was only angry because of the book and wasn’t sick, he put his heart at rest.

Pei Yuan tried to snatch the book from Bao Ning’s hands to talk business with her: “Ning’ning, how about we stop eating stinky tofu from now on, okay?”

Bao Ning’s gaze instantly turned vigilant: “Do you have someone else outside?”

“…” Pei Yuan froze. “Where is this coming from?!”

Bao Ning said, “Zhang Sheng was just like this. He and Lady Yu came out of a cold hut; they were originally a poor couple living a frugal, simple life. Lady Yu didn’t like wearing silk clothes and preferred hemp robes and cloth shoes. But Zhang Sheng—Zhang Sheng turned bad as soon as he got rich! He went to the brothel and saw Yaoyao, seeing how showily dressed Yaoyao was. When he returned home, he threw a temper at Lady Yu, saying she was an embarrassment!”

Pei Yuan still didn’t understand: “Isn’t this a story from a novel? What does it have to do with me?”

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier to stop eating stinky tofu?” Bao Ning glared at him. “I’ve been eating it for so long and you said nothing. Bringing it up so suddenly when you came back today—you must have been bewitched by someone else! Tell me, did you see some pretty young girl outside who likes eating delicacies and Buddha Jumps Over the Wall, so when you came back, you felt I was unfit for polite society and grew disgusted with me?”

Cold sweat broke out on Pei Yuan’s forehead. Flicking his sleeve, he said, “Utter nonsense! Pure rubbish!”

“You’re flying into a rage out of humiliation!” Bao Ning wiped her tears with her sleeve. “Zhang Sheng in the book was just like this too. When Lady Yu wept and condemned his heartlessness and injustice, Zhang Sheng called it utter nonsense and threw a furious rage. What, as the next step, are you going to slam the door, leave, and fly off to live together with that Yaoyao?”

Pei Yuan’s eyes widened: “Stop reading those low-class things from now on; you’ve gone mad! How have I been heartless and unjust? Where on earth did a Yaoyao come from? I’m just reasoning with you. It’s fine if you like eating stinky tofu, but there’s no need to enshrine it by the bedside every day, filling the whole room with a weird smell! How long has it been since Tuanzi dared to come over? Just think back, count it yourself…”

“Now you’re using this as a pretext to make a fuss!” Bao Ning accused him angrily. “Zhang Sheng in the book was just like this too! After flying into a rage out of humiliation, he felt he was in the wrong, so he brought up the child, saying the child also despised her shabby clothes and didn’t dare stand beside her when going out, saying she embarrassed the whole family!”

Sparks flew from Pei Yuan’s eyes. He slammed the book onto the floor: “You are not allowed to read this kind of stuff anymore!”

“You’re feeling guilty, so you’re starting to change the subject!” Bao Ning straightened her back. “Zhang Sheng in the book was just like this…”

“Eat as much as you want then! Eat a catty a day! Even if you soak in the stinky tofu jar to take a bath, I won’t care anymore!” Pei Yuan’s chest throbbed with anger. Without waiting for Bao Ning to finish speaking, he turned around and strode away, cursing as he walked, “Damn it, I must have killed too many people in my past life! Heaven couldn’t stand it, so it sent you down to discipline me. Zhang Sheng, Zhang Sheng… what the hell does he have to do with me? My surname isn’t even Zhang!”

Bao Ning quietly got off the bed, picked up the book, patted the dust off it, flipped to the page she was just reading, and continued. Thinking to herself, He’s finally gone. Seeing the look on his face when he walked in, I knew it was no good. Dismissing him in a few words saves trouble; he shouldn’t delay me from reading my novel.

She stared at the line of text she had just reached, which said Zhang Sheng wept bitterly in the heavy rain while holding Lady Yu’s body. Picturing that scene in her mind, her eyes turned red again involuntarily.

Poor Lady Yu… Zhang Sheng really is a piece of trash!

(2)

A month before Bao Ning gave birth, Ji Yun came to see her, carrying a wild pheasant to nourish Bao Ning’s body.

The pheasant had bright, beautiful feathers and a tail that was two feet long. It walked with a majestic and grand air. Both Bao Ning and Tuanzi loved it at first sight.

Ji Yun said he had spotted it by chance while doing business in Yunnan and caught it. The local people of Yunnan said this kind of pheasant was called the “Radiant Phoenix Feather,” found only in their deep mountains, making it very rare. He had originally caught three, but on the way, one died and one flew away, leaving only this single survivor.

Pei Yuan immediately wanted to have someone kill it to make stew, but Bao Ning stopped him: “It’s just a single bird. How nourishing can it really be? There’s no need to kill it. Besides, such a rare species should be properly protected. Let’s build a separate coop to raise it well and refrain from eating it.”

Pei Yuan felt it was a pity, but since Bao Ning wouldn’t let him eat it, he had no choice but to raise it according to her words.

Pei Yuan was never one to admit defeat easily. He firmly believed that the rarer something was, the more nourishing it would be. Since he couldn’t eat its meat, he tried every possible way to make it lay eggs.

It was early spring at the time, but early spring in Feng County was no different from winter—it was still very cold. Perhaps due to the weather, the Radiant Phoenix Feather’s belly showed no signs of movement at all. Anxious, Pei Yuan consulted with Nanny Liu on how to keep the bird warm. They found discarded thick cotton quilts to cover the entire floor of the coop and added a layer of thatch to the roof.

Now it was warm enough. The bird ate even more and slept even better, but it still didn’t lay any eggs.

Tuanzi offered an idea to Pei Yuan, asking if it was because the bird hadn’t laid eggs in a long time and had forgotten the feeling. Pei Yuan thought it made sense, so he found a goose egg and put it into the nest, hoping to trigger its memory. But after waiting for five days, there was still no progress.

Yuanzi also heard about this matter. Being older than Tuanzi and having more methods, he flipped through books on poultry raising and finally concluded the reason: it was eating the wrong food. This bird had grown up in the mountains of Yunnan, so its diet was bound to be different from that of Feng County! Although the food fed to it now was good, it might not suit its taste; it needed to be fed what it had eaten since childhood.

Pei Yuan thought about it and realized it indeed made sense. He heard that people over there loved eating wild mushrooms, but spring hadn’t even truly arrived yet—where could one find mushrooms? Yet methods are always more numerous than difficulties. He took a lap around the manor’s storehouse and eventually brought out a few small Lingzhi mushrooms.

Pei Yuan reasoned to himself: Lingzhi mushrooms looked like large wild mushrooms, so it should be about the same, right?

That bird drank Lingzhi tonic soup for seven consecutive days, growing even plumper and stronger, yet it just wouldn’t lay an egg.

Pei Yuan was truly anxious now. This was no longer a matter of eating eggs for nourishment—it was a matter of pride! After fussing over it for so long, he couldn’t even get a single egg out. If Bao Ning and Ji Yun found out in the future, wouldn’t they laugh their heads off?

It just so happened that Lexu had returned from his wandering. Before he could even get a good night’s sleep at home, Pei Yuan sent someone to capture him.

Pointing at the fat bird weighing a full twenty catties, he shouted at Lexu, “Doctor Lexu, my bird isn’t laying eggs anymore. Go pulse-diagnose it and see if it suffers from a deficiency in qi and blood, then write a prescription.”

Lexu looked at Pei Yuan in disbelief, feeling that he was being mocked, and refused to comply.

Later, it was only when Yuanzi pleaded with him that Lexu reluctantly went to take its pulse.

He was unable to refuse Yuanzi’s requests. He had always been a fearless man who could even ignore imperial decrees, doing things entirely as his heart pleased. Yet for some reason, the moment he saw this child’s eyes for the first time, he found himself unable to say no to him.

Naturally, nothing could be diagnosed.

Pei Yuan was very disappointed, feeling that Lexu hadn’t tried his best. Lexu didn’t bother arguing with him, finding an excuse to slip away and heading straight for Bao Ning’s courtyard, where he recounted the entire sequence of events in detail.

Ji Yun happened to be there as well. Hearing this, he laughed so hard he slapped his thigh, calling out to Bao Ning, “Sister, I’ve long heard that pregnancy makes a woman foolish for three years. How come I don’t see you becoming foolish, but Brother-in-law’s brain seems to have gone wrong instead?”

Bao Ning saved face for Pei Yuan, holding back her laughter and explaining solemnly, “Don’t speak of your brother-in-law like that; he’s merely behaving erratically out of deep concern.”

Ji Yun chimed in, “Yes, yes.”

Before leaving, he instructed Bao Ning: “Hurry up and explain it clearly to Brother-in-law. Don’t go on fussing like this anymore—it’s quite a waste of money!”

…

When Pei Yuan returned in the evening, it was clear he was in a bad mood, his face filled with frustration.

Bao Ning fetched him a change of undergarments. Seeing him lie down on the bed after washing up, she sat beside him. She wanted to tease him properly, but felt a bit heartbroken as well. Sighing, she said softly, “A-Yuan, don’t feed Lingzhi to the bird anymore.”

Pei Yuan was startled and turned his head to look at her: “How did you know?”

“Did anyone tell you that there is a kind of chicken called a rooster?” Bao Ning looked into Pei Yuan’s eyes and lovingly rubbed his hair. “Roosters don’t lay eggs.”

Pei Yuan was horrified.

…

This matter was far too embarrassing. It took Pei Yuan a full half-month to recover and forget it, strictly forbidding anyone from bringing it up again. Bao Ning, mindful of his pride, only laughed secretly behind his back, acting as though nothing had happened on the surface.

Until one day, Pei Yuan received a letter from Ji Yun.

That kid had been at odds with him since childhood. The moment Pei Yuan received it, alarm bells went off in his heart, feeling that it definitely boded no good. But after hesitating repeatedly, unable to resist his curiosity, he opened it to take a look anyway.

With just one glance, his face turned pale.

Written on it was a couplet that wasn’t neat in meter at all, with handwriting as wild and chaotic as flying dragons and dancing phoenixes.

First Line: Told the chicken to lay an egg, the chicken said no way, I’m a rooster and I can’t lay.

Second Line: Asked the doctor to take the pulse, the doctor said no clue, blame the chicken leg for having no pulse too.

Horizontal Scroll: Brother-in-law refuses to accept it.

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