Chapter 30: Night

Night fell, and a cold wind suddenly rose.

Bao Ning herded the chickens and ducks back into their pens, locked the gate to the fence, added some more feed to Saifeng’s feed bag, and then headed back inside. Ahuang was already squatting at the door, waiting for her.

The room was lit. Through the thin window paper, one could see a tall figure sitting inside with his back to the window, head down, doing something unknown.

She stood at the door for a moment to collect her thoughts, then stepped inside.

A lamp burned on the kang table. Pei Yuan was seated there, writing or drawing. Hearing her come in, he didn’t even raise his head, simply said, “You’re back.”

His voice was calm and steady, strangely reassuring. Such a simple phrase, and yet in her ears, it felt like the warmth of returning home on a snowy night.

Bao Ning smiled and responded, then turned to lock the door.

Tonight, Pei Yuan was staying with her.

First, because the other room hadn’t been tidied up yet—the window was still broken, making it inconvenient to stay in. Second, because there were still hidden enemies in the dark, and no one knew when they might strike again. Pei Yuan didn’t feel comfortable letting her sleep alone.

He insisted on moving over, and Bao Ning had no good reason to refuse him.

She had just promised him at lunch that she would try to live a good life with him. Kicking him out now would seem overly pretentious.

Still, sharing a room at night made her feel shy.

Not wanting to go straight to the kang bed, she busied herself around the room, wiping down furniture that was already spotless. With nothing else to do, she sat on a stool and watched a female leech eat a snail.

They had fished it up together that afternoon. The snails were big and fat. Bao Ning picked out the best ones to feed the leech and saved the rest to stir-fry with chili the next day.

Just thinking about that flavor made her mouth water.

The leech had quite the appetite. Its plump body wrapped around the snail, and its suction-cupped head forcefully pried open the thin shell. In a flash, it burrowed inside. Bao Ning then saw a faint stream of red blood flow into its transparent body.

She shivered, unable to help wondering—if such a creature got inside Pei Yuan’s body, how painful would it be?

Pei Yuan lifted his head from his desk and looked at her.

Under the warm yellow lamplight, Bao Ning rested her cheek on her hand, staring blankly at the little jar in front of her. He couldn’t help but call out, “Still not coming up?”

Bao Ning snapped out of her daze. “Oh,” she replied, carefully put the leech away, tiptoed over to the cabinet to place it there, and then climbed up onto the kang beside Pei Yuan.

The room was small, and the kang even smaller. Pei Yuan was tall with long legs—just sitting there, he took up most of the space. To avoid touching him, Bao Ning curled her legs up and shrank against the wall.

As she got up, Ahuang also jumped onto the kang, wriggling into Pei Yuan’s arms. The little dog was shamelessly affectionate, licking his neck. Pei Yuan disliked the wet sensation and grabbed it by the scruff, tossing it aside.

Ahuang wagged its tail and charged back over, rubbing against him again.

“You’re disgusting?” Pei Yuan set down his brush, about to scold. Bao Ning quickly pulled Ahuang into her arms and said to Pei Yuan, “He’s still small. Don’t always scold him.”

“You just keep defending it,” Pei Yuan frowned. “One of these days, I’ll catch it and give it a beating!”

Then he glanced at Bao Ning’s legs. “All curled up like that—aren’t you uncomfortable?”

Before she could reply, Pei Yuan grabbed her ankle and straightened her knees. He lifted his shirt and naturally placed her feet against his warm abdomen, pressing them there with one hand while reaching for his brush with the other.

“Next time, come up earlier. You’re always fussing with cleaning this and that—what are you trying to polish so hard for? Your feet are freezing.”

The touch of skin against skin made Bao Ning curl her toes from the ambiguous intimacy.

Embarrassed, she mumbled, “No need… I can just warm up under the covers.”

Pei Yuan dipped his brush in ink without looking at her. “My hand’s still injured. If you move and make it tear again, you’ll have to deal with it.”

Bao Ning stroked Ahuang’s fur, eyes cast down. In the end, she didn’t pull her legs away. Slowly, warmth crept into her soles. She stole a glance at Pei Yuan, a flicker of joy in her eyes.

She stretched out her arms, retrieved the half-finished walking aid she’d made earlier that day, and resumed tinkering.

In the quiet room, Ahuang slept, Pei Yuan wrote, and Bao Ning wrapped cloth strips around wooden boards. The rustling sounds made the atmosphere feel even more peaceful. Rare and warm.

She lost track of time as she worked.

Then suddenly Pei Yuan said, “I’ll buy you a maid.”

He finished writing the letter and held it up to dry the ink. “It’ll be good to have someone help you out. You don’t need to run around so much—wouldn’t it be better to lie around comfortably?”

Bao Ning’s head shot up, eyes wide. “I don’t want one!” She didn’t know what made him suddenly bring this up, but just the thought of another person in the house made her uncomfortable—especially another woman.

She knew she was petty.

Sitting up straight, she frowned. “I don’t like people entering my room, touching my things. I just don’t.”

Pei Yuan was surprised by her strong reaction. He patted her calf reassuringly. “Alright, we won’t then. I was just casually saying it, teasing you. If you don’t like it, forget it.”

Bao Ning slowly leaned back against the wall. She had overreacted, but the topic hit a sensitive nerve, and she couldn’t help it. She clasped her hands tightly, her nails pressing into her palms.

With her eyes downcast, Pei Yuan didn’t notice the change in her expression.

Now that the silence was broken, Pei Yuan became more talkative. With his work done and free time on hand, he started teasing her: “After lunch tomorrow, if the weather’s nice, I’ll take you out for a horse ride.”

“I don’t dare.” Bao Ning had calmed down. “Saifeng’s too tall, I’m scared. What if I fall?”

“I’ll be there. He wouldn’t dare rear up at you.”

“I have something more important to do tomorrow,” Bao Ning said.

“What is it? Can I come too?”

Pei Yuan pushed the table aside and chatted casually with her. Bao Ning hugged what she was holding tightly, thinking of the surprise she was preparing for him, and didn’t give anything away. “I’ll bring you. You’ll find out tomorrow.”

“So mysterious.” Pei Yuan glanced at her, folded the letter, and tucked it under the inkstone.

“Can I blow out the lamp now?”

“Wait, I’ll make the bed.” Bao Ning stood up and quickly laid out the quilt, fluffed the pillow until it was smooth and neat, then said, “Okay, blow it out.”

Pei Yuan took one breath and blew out the light. The room went dark.

Pei Yuan blew out in one breath, and the room went dark.

It wasn’t the first time they had shared the same bed, but it was the first time both of them were completely clear-headed. Bao Ning felt a little at a loss. She touched her nose, lay down against the wall, and moved a bit farther away from Pei Yuan. In the darkness, her eyes kept watching his movements.

“I don’t plan to touch you.” Pei Yuan lay down with his eyes closed, reached his hand sideways, and accurately caught her earlobe, giving it a gentle pinch. “Sleep.”

But Bao Ning couldn’t fall asleep. She thought of the letter he had been writing all evening. She had wanted to ask him about it long ago, but hesitation kept the words from coming out.

Bao Ning felt she had the right to ask. Pei Yuan said they were husband and wife, that a husband and wife share honor and disgrace together. Every decision he made would affect her. Whoever Pei Yuan wrote to, she ought to know.

Taking courage from the darkness, Bao Ning poked Pei Yuan’s arm and softly called to him.

“What is it?” Pei Yuan rested one hand on his forehead, while the other caught her hand and kneaded it a little.

“Tonight, the letter you wrote—who was it for?”

Pei Yuan paused, then said: “Qiu Mingshan.” Bao Ning was startled.

She had grown up deep within the inner chambers, never stepping outside, but even she knew the name of the Great General Who Defended the Nation. She also knew that when Pei Yuan first entered the army for training, he had gone to the northern frontier. For nearly eight years, he had served under Qiu Mingshan, the two of them close as father and son.

But later, she had heard that the two fell out, quarreled badly, and nearly came to blows with blades.

Pei Yuan said: “Counting the time, every year around this season he returns to the capital to have an audience with His Majesty. In a couple of days, I plan to arrange to meet him.”

When he spoke to this point, he didn’t want to go deeper, and Bao Ning didn’t press further either. But she knew it definitely wouldn’t be as simple as just meeting.

Some things were happening that she didn’t know about—and perhaps it was best she didn’t know.

Bao Ning stared at the canopy above her for a long while, her eyes turning sore, before finally closing them.

Ahuang was sleeping soundly in her arms. Bao Ning drew it closer into the crook of her arm, pressed her forehead against its back, and with the rhythm of its breathing, slowly drifted off to sleep.

Bao Ning didn’t know that in the darkness, Pei Yuan had turned his head and watched her for a long time.

…

The next day, Bao Ning woke up early. She was used to rising early—getting up early meant she could prepare more dishes. She liked the process of cooking, and the sense of accomplishment when she finally saw the finished dishes.

This kind of busyness was not a burden to her, but rather a delicate sort of happiness.

Pei Yuan was still sleeping. Bao Ning lit the lamp very dimly. The crackling of burning firewood could be heard, and the buns steaming in the pot gave off a rich aroma.

Pei Yuan woke once in the middle, said a couple of words to her, and wanted to get up to help, but Bao Ning persuaded him back to rest.

She hoped he could rest more—that regaining his health was what mattered most. Later on, when he was well again, he could help her with chores, and it would not be too late. The days ahead were long… as long as Pei Yuan could keep treating her with the same sincerity.

Perhaps because the atmosphere in the room was too suitable for sleep, Ahuang sprawled by Pei Yuan’s pillow, one man and one dog both sleeping deeply.

By the faint light, Bao Ning continued working on what was in her hands. By the time the buns were done and daylight arrived, she had just finished the last stitch and bit off the thread with her teeth.

Looking at her work with satisfaction, Bao Ning put it away in the cupboard, then served out the buns and called Pei Yuan to eat.

The buns were stuffed with three fresh ingredients, their juices rich and full. Bite through the soft skin, and sweet, savory broth would burst out. Pei Yuan ate four in one go, while Ahuang ate one and a half.

Through the whole breakfast, Pei Yuan kept watching Bao Ning’s expression. She looked delighted at times, worried at times, and then again eager to try something.

He didn’t ask, just waited for her to say it herself. After the meal, Bao Ning brought over two bowls of red date and goji berry soup—one for each of them. She said it nourished the blood and energy, and insisted he drink it with her.

Pei Yuan frowned but swallowed it down. Bao Ning then went to wash the dishes.

Clearly she had something to say, yet she insisted on holding it in. Pei Yuan thought to himself, This little fool is really good at keeping things to herself.

Half an hour later, after Bao Ning fed the chickens and ducks, the horse, and the leeches, and then strolled through the backyard vegetable garden, she finally returned to the room.

By now, Pei Yuan was already somewhat impatient from waiting.

Bao Ning smiled at him a little sheepishly, then took out the walking aid she had made and stood in front of him, demonstrating it on herself. “I made this myself. I thought it might be useful… I was thinking, you walk slowly mainly because your left leg can’t exert force. If we fix the left leg in place, won’t it be able to gain strength, and walking will become much easier?”

Bao Ning said: “You fasten this strap around your waist, and these little wooden boards wrap around the leg. The boards are very sturdy, like crutches, so they can support you. I also designed something here at the knee… you can even squat down with it.”

Overjoyed, Bao Ning demonstrated for him. “Isn’t it amazing?”

Pei Yuan hadn’t spoken the whole time. Bao Ning lifted her head to look at his expression, her voice gradually growing smaller.

She was very afraid that Pei Yuan would take it the wrong way. He was sensitive, and his pride was strong. Bao Ning worried that he might think she despised him, or that such a gesture would wound him. That was why she had hesitated until now before giving it to him.

Could it be that she had still made him uncomfortable?

Bao Ning saw that Pei Yuan’s eyes were slightly reddened.

Sansukini: What a caring little sweetheart.

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