Chapter 14: Puppy

Chapter 14: Doggo

The next morning.

Yuan Rang was awakened by knocking at the door.

"Brother Chen! Brother Chen!"

He naturally ignored it.

He even thoughtfully covered Chen Shuoan's ears.

Chen Shuoan rubbed his face against Yuan Rang's palm, still half-asleep, with pillow marks on his face.

"Is someone slaughtering a pig out there?"

Yuan Rang was entranced by the just-woken Chen Shuoan, his throat bobbing as he leaned in to soothe him by the ear: "Sounds like Li Wei. Probably nothing important."

Chen Shuoan immediately shot up in bed.

This was a huge deal!

Brothers are like limbs—there's no way he, Chen Shuoan, could end up limbless!

Yuan Rang's arms were left empty, and he stared darkly at Chen Shuoan as he dressed and went out.

He might as well have said someone was slaughtering a pig out there.

Yuan Rang thought, stone-faced.

Chen Shuoan had slept like a baby.

He stretched lazily, in a great mood, but before he could finish, Li Wei rushed up and smacked him on the shoulder.

Chen Shuoan yelped in pain, doubling over as if about to collapse to his knees.

Li Wei was startled and quickly crouched down to check on him: "You alright, Brother Chen? Don't try to pull one over on me."

"Brother Chen appreciates the concern, but not the attitude." Chen Shuoan let out a sly laugh, quickly straightened up, and gave Li Wei a painful whack on the back.

Yuan Rang opened the door, watched the two of them messing around, and said coldly: "Like what?"

Li Wei instinctively blurted out: "Greetings, Your Highness the Sixth Prince."

Seeming to realize something was wrong, he stupidly added: "Huh?"

???

Why was the prince here?

He whipped his head toward Chen Shuoan, his tiny brain unable to process the confusion.

Chen Shuoan now thought his prince was perfect in every way.

So he cut in and dropped a bombshell on Li Wei: "Nothing much, just Li Wei saying he likes it rough."

?!?!?!?

He'd always liked things cute, though?

————

After the morning's misunderstanding, Li Wei still looked pretty dazed.

Zhang Chenggong felt a bit sorry for him and asked Chen Shuoan: "What's going on here? Even tofu has a brain, but I think Li Wei's lost his."

Chen Shuoan shrugged, as if to say he had no clue.

He looked around and noticed another one of his buddies hadn't shown up yet, so he asked: "Where's Zheng Yuanzhi? Where'd he go?"

Zhang Chenggong patted Li Wei's face, trying to snap him out of it, and answered while patting: "He'll come later. A wolf took a bite out of him yesterday—he's still recovering. Luckily the Crown Prince and the Sixth Prince were near the watchtower and rushed over with men as soon as they saw the flare. Otherwise, we'd be having a reunion in the underworld today."

Chen Shuoan nodded, counting his blessings.

"Zheng Yuanzhi won't get rabies, will he?"

Li Wei suddenly snapped out of it and raised his hand.

Zhang Chenggong smacked him on the back of his round head: "Wish him the best!"

Then he leaned in with a mysterious air: "Yesterday we got trapped by wolves and didn't come back, so we missed something huge."

Chen Shuoan perked up at this and guessed: "Don't tell me it's about His Majesty being attacked last night?"

Zhang Chenggong slapped his thigh excitedly: "Exactly! Though 'attacked' isn't quite the right word. I asked the eldest sister this morning—she said His Majesty got spooked by a bear."

Chen Shuoan's eyes narrowed, realizing the plot from the original novel was playing out.

But last night the Crown Prince was out saving people from the wolves—so who saved His Majesty from the bear?

Zhang Chenggong went on: "Yesterday the Fifth Prince caught a bear cub and was asking His Majesty for a reward before he even got back to camp. His Majesty was naturally delighted and held the cub, but before he could even cuddle it properly, the mother bear chased after them and knocked him to the ground. He coughed up a big mouthful of blood. Luckily the Third Prince was there to protect him, or His Majesty would have been hurt much worse."

The person who was supposed to save His Majesty had changed from Yuan Qi to Yuan Wu!

Chen Shuoan frowned, wondering what had caused the original plot to go off the rails.

Seeing their serious expressions, Zhang Chenggong whispered: "Right now the Fifth Prince is still kneeling outside His Majesty's door."

Just then, the sound of Zheng Yuanzhi's footsteps broke the tension among the three.

His left arm hung stiffly and awkwardly, while his right arm carried something small as he headed over.

"What's with the long faces? Shuo'an, look—isn't it cute?" Zheng Yuanzhi held out the squirming little thing with one hand, offering it to Chen Shuoan.

Chen Shuoan took a closer look—it was one ugly little mutt.

He smiled and said: "Adorable. Now get it away from me."

Zheng Yuanzhi laughed heartily, thrilled that Chen Shuoan actually agreed with him.

After all, when he'd found this dog last night, Li Wei, Zhang Chenggong, and Qin Zhonglian had been in unprecedented agreement, all saying "not cute" in perfect unison.

So he reluctantly parted with it, acting generous: "Don't say your big brother doesn't look out for you—you can keep this dog."

?

Chen Shuoan had a puppy shoved into his arms, looking bewildered.

Please, don't do me any favors.

The little dog opened its mouth and sucked on Chen Shuoan's pinky, sending a tingle through his heart, and he couldn't help but start playing with it.

Li Wei watched him with a silly grin: "You've got that maternal glow going on... hehehe..."

Zheng Yuanzhi: "..."

Zhang Chenggong: "..."

Chen Shuoan smiled and said, "You really can't say anything decent with that mouth of yours."

Zhang Chenggong slammed his hand on the table, startling the other three, who set aside their personal grievances and turned to look at him in unison.

He straightened up and picked up where he'd left off: "Because of what happened last night, the higher-ups have decided to cancel hunting for the next few days and instead hold a competition at the hunting grounds."

Chen Shuoan's eyes lit up.

Zhang Chenggong grinned and added, "And it's not mandatory to participate."

Chen Shuoan's eyes instantly shone brighter than fiber-optic cables.

Sweet relief after all that misery, folks.

The four of them processed the good news and got up to find something to eat, while Chen Shuoan was stuck holding the dog, looking troubled.

"It's still a baby, so it needs milk. Where the heck am I supposed to find milk for it?"

Zheng Yuanzhi shrugged nonchalantly: "No worries, this breed survives no matter what. Yesterday it was howling and crapping all over my room, and my hand was hurting so bad I figured I'd clean it up this morning."

He paused on purpose, leaving them hanging.

Chen Shuoan was so pissed he wanted to give him two big smacks.

Then Zheng Yuanzhi burst out laughing: "Guess what? This morning, its crap was gone."

Chen Shuoan, Zhang Chenggong, and Li Wei: "..."

What the hell?! Did it eat its own crap?!

Everyone stepped back from Chen Shuoan as if he were a man-eating monster.

But what really scared them was the ugly mutt in his arms that ate its own crap.

Chen Shuoan stood in the gentle morning breeze, looking like he might crumble in the breeze.

He slowly raised the hand the dog had licked and softly asked the dog in his arms, "You're a real genius, huh? You'd never let yourself go hungry. How's the crap taste?"

Hearing this, the little dog seemed to hit a keyword, tilting its head up and letting out a whimper, as if answering Chen Shuoan's question.

Chen Shuoan looked up at the sky with a smile, almost in tears.

From now on, his native tongue was speechlessness.