Chapter 9 - Shinogi: Sneak

1

Sitting on the bed and simply waiting for time to pass was worse than torture for Anna. It was just like when she’d lost her parents. The moment the doctor delivered the news as she sat in that hospital bed, Anna’s thoughts went to following in their footsteps. But in the end, she couldn’t.

For, when she was on her way up to the hospital roof in the dead of night to do the deed, she came across a girl with terminal cancer. She was three years younger than Anna and thin as a rail, probably because of her failing health. Anna could vividly remember the surgical cap she wore on her head and the painful-looking injection marks she had on both arms. They couldn’t have talked for more than five minutes, but Anna saw her grimace in pain multiple times before their conversation was over.

Anna had lost her grandmother to cancer, so she knew a little of what the girl was going through. Not only did her illness drain her of all her energy and strength, she had to suffer through one excruciating treatment after another to try and fight it. Day in and day out without a break. The doctors had given her three months. Her odds of making it were slim at best—she’d said as much herself.

“But even in the bitter end, I’ll never give up.”

Anna would never forget her moonlit smile. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much easier it would have been just to give up and let go, she still wanted to live. How could Anna even think of taking her own life after seeing this girl who, despite being at the height of misery, was still so positive and hopeful? She inspired Anna, and Anna swore to herself that she’d stay strong the same way. After she was discharged from the hospital, there were times she nearly lost herself to unbearable depression. She would always remember that girl and manage to pull through... But everything has its limit.

“Mom, Dad... I worked hard, didn’t I?” she muttered, staring at the floor.

Her eyes stung as giant tears began to seep from them.

“But I’m so tired now... Is it okay if I let go and just end it all?” she asked, but the room remained veiled in silence. “Why... Why won’t you answer?”

Anna had gained her special power immediately following the accident. But even so, she’d never once seen her parents’ spirits. She couldn’t understand why.

Weren’t they worried about their daughter who was all alone now? Wouldn’t they come check on her? Or were they just too close for her to see, the same way her own soul was invisible to her eyes? She wanted so badly to see them. She wished for it dearly. She wanted to feel the strong, comforting embrace of her father. She wanted to fall asleep in her mother’s warm and gentle arms. She wanted to see their smiles again.

I’m really gonna do it this time.

She wiped away her tears and stood up from the bed. There were so many people throughout the world who wanted to keep living but couldn’t. It might have been cliché, but she’d kept going for so long because she didn’t want to waste the precious life her parents had blessed her with.

But I’m already dead.

Her life had ended when the monster ate her. And because she’d already passed, surely this didn’t count as suicide.

The me right here and now is just a ghost... No, not even. I’m more like a hard drive that’s been filled with the details of what was once me. I’m just a programmed imitation. She wouldn’t be ending a life. She’d just be deleting some accidentally copied data. There was nothing to feel guilty about.

Anna proceeded down the quiet hall toward the study. Above the study should be the attic. If she jumped from the small door there, it would take her some meters below—straight to the ground. Not even the monster should survive that fall.

It’s okay. It’ll only hurt for a second.

Cutting diagonally through the study, she slid the bookcase to the side. Upon opening the secret passageway, a sharp, acrid smell struck her nose. The floor of the staircase was oddly black and melted. She needed to hurry before her determination wavered. But when she reached the top of the stairs, something pulled back hard on her shoulder.

“I don’t know what business you have in the attic, but I suggest you not go in there.”

When Anna turned around, Naoki was standing there.

2

“It’s a nest of cockroaches. Open that door, and you’re in for a world of pain,” Naoki informed her.

“Let go.”

Anna reflexively smacked his hand away from her shoulder. Unable to control her strength, she sent him flying into the wall hard enough to shake the room a little.

“That was mean.”

Despite Naoki’s words, he flashed a broad smile.

“If I weren’t a ghost, that definitely would have broken a couple bones.”

He picked up a piece of plaster that had crumbled from the wall and continued on gleefully.

“You’re not a normal human anymore, remember? You’ve got to be careful.”

That first sentence pierced Anna’s heart.

“Would you kindly leave me alone? Once I find my friends, we’ll figure out a way to fix this. I was a fool to trust you and come here.”

There was no point in getting angry at Naoki. She knew that, but couldn’t help herself.

“Oh? Did you find someone already?”

Mika had claimed that she was happy, and it seemed to be true. Resentment boiled inside Anna.

“Looks like I hit the bull’s-eye. Who was it, Takuro? Takeshi? Oh, I see. It was Mika, wasn’t it? Now I understand why you’re so grumpy,” Naoki chuckled.

His laughter stirred the flames of anger in Anna’s heart.

“I don’t understand how she can still smile...” she finally managed to croak, her voice quivering terribly. “I want to kill myself, and yet she... Why?”

“I know how you feel, Anna. You’re angry beyond words, right? But it’s all right. There’s nothing to worry about.” The corners of Naoki’s lips twisted up into a grin as he stood before Anna. “The reason Mika hasn’t lost it yet is because she has Takuro with her. The second he’s gone, she’ll fall right down into the black pits of despair.”

He might be right. It certainly seemed like Takuro was what was holding up her happiness. Anna had no one like that. Nothing. That was the real difference between them.

“Back when Takuro used to beat me within an inch of my life, Mika just stood there and watched like she was bored. Like he was squashing a bug or something,” Naoki said. “You’re a good girl, Anna. Everyone loves you. So why should you suffer when a cold bitch like her gets to live happily ever after? Mika’s the one who should be suffering. So, what do you say? Don’t you want to see her in your shoes?”

“...”

“Oh? What’s this? I swear the old you would’ve denied it right off the bat. Could it be you actually want her to suffer?”

“...Maybe,” Anna answered honestly.

It was just for a moment, but imagining Mika going crazy with grief and despair after losing Takuro made Anna feel slightly better. Naoki paused there, a shocked look on his face.

“Well, that’s new. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“The girl you knew doesn’t exist anymore, right? Oh, wait... My soul is haunting me, isn’t it? Well? Is the real me just as shocked as you are?”

“Like I said before, just because I’m a ghost doesn’t mean I can see spirits as clearly as you can. It’s just a faint shadow of a presence that I can sense. Unfortunately, I can’t tell what she’s thinking.”

“Then let me tell you something. She hates, hates, hates Mika for being able to smile even though she’s in the same terrible situation I am. She wants to toss her into the pits of despair herself... That’s what the real me is thinking, too, I’ll bet,” Anna proclaimed with an air of self-mockery. “Surprised? I’m not a good girl at all. I just pretended to be because I wanted people to think well of me. But I don’t need to do that anymore, do I? So I’m done with the good girl act.”

“Hahaha, now that’s what I wanted to hear!” Naoki exclaimed excitedly. “So, Anna... what are you going to do now?”

“Die. I’ll kill myself and end it all,” she instantly replied. “I’ve made up my mind, and you can’t stop me. Really, I’m already dead, so I’m not morally doing anything wrong.”

“The way you’re making excuses is proof you’re still a goody-two-shoes at heart,” Naoki chuckled again.

His ear-grating laughter echoed throughout the room.

“I have zero intention of stopping you. In fact, suicide isn’t a half-bad idea. Once you’re gone, your spirit will be freed from its earthly chains. I can’t think of a reason not to do it, honestly,” Naoki said quite indifferently. “But jumping from the attic won’t be enough to kill you. The monsters aren’t that weak.”

The corners of Naoki’s mouth curled into a slight grin before he continued.

“I’m sure you’d die if your head was cut off, but I doubt you have the courage for that.”

Anna bit her lip to hold in her anger.

“I’ll help you think of an easy way to die later. But first, could you help me with something?” Naoki said, drawing nearer.

“What?”

“Don’t worry. With the two of us, we’ll get it done in no time flat.” He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, “Let’s kill Takuro.”

3

“Let’s kill Takuro.”

He’d said it as casually as one might say, “Let’s get pizza.”

“Get this: right now, he’s lying on a sofa watching TV. Laughing his butt off at some stupid comedy show. Can you believe that?”

Naoki was no longer smiling or laughing. His sly, jovial expression had gone completely stiff.

“How long does he intend to keep adding insult to injury before he’s done? I thought I’d have my vengeance killing him... but this makes it all pointless. I want him to experience fear worse than death before dying again. And once he’s gone, Mika will fall into despair all on her own. Two birds with one stone, right?”

“Don’t be stupid!” Anna shouted. “Murder? I could never do that.”

“Why? She’s already dead. Morally speaking, you’re not doing anything wrong. You said so yourself earlier.”

“I know what I said, but...”

“What? I thought you were done being a good girl. Come on. I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking... He deserves to die, right?”

She couldn’t say anything.

“Just think of all the sins he’s committed. He’s a blight on humanity. If left to his own devices, there will just be more victims like you and me. That’s why I punished him. But... even after dying, he hasn’t changed. Not one bit. I was too soft. I need to do something more extreme. It’ll take more severe punishment to reform his rotten heart. And for that, I need your help. Unfortunately, I’m powerless here. The monsterized Takuro is too much for me. But you could...”

“What in the world are you planning?”

Naoki broke into a smile once more upon hearing Anna’s question.

“Oh, goody, you’ve finally changed your tune.”

“Don’t misunderstand. I didn’t say anything about helping you. I just want to know more about your plan,” she replied, averting her gaze.

She didn’t want him to pick up on her wavering emotions.

“I’m going to make him repent each and every evil thing he’s ever done,” Naoki said gleefully. “First, I’ll restrain him in a chair so he can’t move.”

“You think you can restrain Takuro?”

“Oh, I do. He’d easily break through a normal rope, so I’ve prepared some strong chains just for him. I doubt he’ll ever be able to escape.”

“That’s not what I meant,” an irritated Anna explained. “He’s fast and athletic. You’ll never be able to catch him.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Naoki said with a grin. “I don’t have to. See, I’m invisible to him. Putting sleeping pills in his food is child’s play.”

“Sleeping pills? He’s not human, remember? I’d hardly think that would affect him.”

“Well, guess what? All it takes is a large enough dose. I already tested it—on you.”

“...What?”

“You didn’t notice? Remember that hot milk you drank? I put sleeping pills in there. You slept like a baby after you transformed into the monster. You don’t remember any of it, do you?”

Naoki looked upon Anna’s shocked expression with absolute delight.

“And a few minutes ago, I snuck into the kitchen and dropped some into the soup Mika was making. They’re probably eating it right now and have no idea!” he crowed.

He sounded like he was about to break into song, he was so happy.

“The next time Takuro opens his eyes, the fun will really begin. What should I start with first? I want him to suffer as long as possible. Should I rip his nails off one by one? I’ll make Mika watch as he cries pathetically for mercy. He’s so proud, that should be especially excruciating for him,” Naoki fantasized, licking his lips as he spoke.

For the first time since becoming a monster, Anna felt fear.