Second Bullet Catching a Sword Blade with Bare Hands

The following day, Aria and Shirayuki both started behaving oddly, but their actions were as different as day and night. Aria, whose motto is “investigate and learn everything on your own,” went to the library, and starting with stamens and pistils, she taught herself all about the wonders of life. This is how she came to realize that everything she knew about health and physical education was as wrong as the Ptolemaic theory. Following this, for a brief period, Aria developed a strange habit of turning red and stiffening up every time she saw me, but she seemed to be the type who could change her mindset quickly, and soon enough she returned to being the impish little Aria who abuses me for hardly any reason. I really don’t need this.

On the other hand, Shirayuki had clearly been avoiding us ever since that incident. Until now, she had always insisted on looking after me to the point of being obnoxious, but after her fight with Aria, she started hiding herself like a small, overly cautious animal whenever she saw me.

It was in the midst of all this that one day during lunch...

“Tohyama, mind if I sit here?”

Sitting in that noisy school cafeteria, I was enjoying a Salisbury steak lunch set with Aria, who had brought her favorite peach buns, when a guy, so good-looking you would do a double take, approached me. This guy was Ryou Shiranui. He was a member of Assault, and he gave me that sort of smile that only effeminate guys could. A while back, he was a classmate of mine with whom I would often form a party. His butei rank is “A” and having an “A” rank can mean a lot of things, but Shiranui was a pretty well-rounded person. He could be relied upon for his skills in hand-to-hand combat, with knives, or pistols. His weapon of choice is an MK 23 equipped with a laser sight—also very reliable. When he put his tray with its club sandwich on the table, I slid mine over but he returned it to its original position. He even remembered to nod his head in apology. This guy is a real straight arrow.

…I might also mention that Shiranui was quite popular with the ladies.

Of course he would be. He’s got the looks, and he’s a person of character, a combination not often found at Butei High. But the odd thing is ... apparently, he doesn’t have a girlfriend. He, Muto, and I (before Aria started following me around all over the place) used to hang out together after school often, and there was never anyone of interest to him.

“I heard all about it Kinji. Let me interrogate you a bit. Try to escape and I’ll run you over.”

The spiky-haired guy who just sat across from me, pushing my tray back with his, was Goki Muto. He was a skilled member of Logi (Logistics division), and an automobile nut who could drive anything considered a vehicle, from steam locomotives to nuclear submarines. As for his weapon, he likes to use a Colt Python with a revolving cylinder for its ease of maintenance. It didn’t hold very many rounds, and it couldn’t be outfitted with a suppressor. As a gun suitable for a butei, it was out of the question. Muto, on the other hand, wasn’t very popular with the ladies. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he was rather rough around the edges.

“What do you mean ‘interrogate me’”?

“Kinji, I heard you had a fight with Hotogi.”

. . . That’s Butei High for you. Information—or should I say “rumors” spread abnormally fast. More to the point, what are you acting so moody for, Muto?

“Hotogi was looking really depressed, you know? What happened?”

“Nothing happened between us ... Wait a second. You saw Shirayuki?”

“Shiranui told me that he saw her in the greenhouse trying to divine her future by pulling petals off flowers.”

“Trying to divine her future?”

“I’d say it’s a pretty popular thing to do,” said Shiranui, lifting his eyebrows.

“I wouldn’t know. Have you heard of it before, Aria?

Across from me, Aria shook her head indicating that she hadn’t. Her long, pink pigtails flew through the air back and forth like a Japanese pellet drum. Aria, by the way, was currently cramming her mouth with peach buns, so she would be silent for a while.

“I’m sure you know what it is, Tohyama. It’s that game where you pluck the petals from a flower one by one and say to yourself ‘he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not.’”

Oooh. That. To think that there’s somebody who still does that in this era. That girl really is a living natural monument.

“Unfortunately, she caught me watching and then the warning bell for the first period went off, so she didn’t finish the divination. But her eyes seemed to be filled with tears. So ... why did you two break up? Did the love grow cold or something?”

I heard Aria gag from the mouthful of the peach bun getting caught in her throat.

Don’t mention the word love. It causes children to overreact.

“Are you serious? I have no idea how you came to that conclusion. Shirayuki and I aren’t even in that kind of relationship. We’re just childhood friends.”

“Childhood friends, huh? That’s certainly a popular choice of words for dodging the matter. According to rumors, Kanzaki got jealous and opened fire on Hotogi. That’s why I’m thinking that you and Kanzaki hit it off, and the two girls duked it out to determine who would have you ... After all, Kanzaki is always talking about you at Assault. She seems to having a lot of fun doing so too.”

Aria H. Kanzaki went bright red and with a little difficulty, managed to swallow down her peach bun.

“Y-Y-Y-You pervert!”

“Ngh!”

For some reason, a punch came flying into my face.

What gives? This can’t be right. If you’re gonna punch anyone, it should be Shiranui.

“I’m going to make myself perfectly clear. The reason I drove off Shirayuki wasn’t because I was j-jealous or anything like that. Kinji and I are partners. There’s no l-love or anything else involved. There’s absolutely, positively, definitely nothing like that going on. Those are my real, honest, true feelings!”

You don’t have to deny it so vehemently.

“Oh, is that so? Well then, Tohyama, does that mean you and Hotogi might get back together again?”

“Why do you keep making it sound like we’re a couple? Besides, Shiranui, there’s something funny about your story. When the warning bell rang this morning, I came across Shirayuki in the hallway on school grounds, and she ran into the girl’s restroom without so much as a ‘hello.’ That means whoever you saw, it wasn’t Shirayuki. Furthermore, I don’t recall asking for your personal opinion regarding whether I make up with Shirayuki or not.”

“Now that you mention it, I guess you didn’t. Sorry about that,” Shiranui apologized with the smile of a saint on his face and didn’t press the issue any further. Taking his gaze off me, he turned to Aria and whispered, “Tohyama’s in a bad mood, isn’t he.”

As for Muto ... he had a strange look on his face that suggested he had a question for me but wasn’t going to ask now. Muto’s face is always strange though.

“By the way, Shiranui ...”

I didn’t want to be grilled over the subject of Shirayuki anymore, so I decided to change the flow of the conversation.

“What are you going to do about the Adsiard? Weren’t you elected to be our school’s representative or something?”

The Adsiard is an international tournament in which various butei high schools participate once a year. In terms of sports, it’s like an interscholastic athletic meet or the Olympics. But unlike the Olympics, which is an event symbolizing peace, the Adsiard consists of nothing but questionable contests in which members of Assault and Snipe compete.

“I probably won’t be participating in any of the events. I’m a substitute.”

“So you’ll just be helping out with the events then? What are you gonna be doing? You have to help out in some way, right?”

“I haven’t decided yet. What to do, what to do?” said Shiranui with a listless sigh that could easily make any girl fall for him in a second.

On the other side of the table, Muto started to stuff his face wildly with a fried noodles sandwich. There was a noodle sticking out from the corner of his mouth.

“Are you gonna take part in the Adsiard, Aria?” I asked.

“I’m not participating in any of the events, either. I was chosen to be the representative for the shooting match but I declined.”

“Then you’re gonna be helping out too, I guess. Have you decided what you’re going to be helping out with?”

“I’ll be doing the cheerleading for the opening ceremony.”

“Cheerleading …? Oh, you’re talking about Ar-kata.”

Ar-kata is a butei term that comes from a combination of the Italian word for weapon, “arma,” and the Japanese word for form, “kata.” It’s a parade in which martial arts, knives, and guns are incorporated into a cheerleading routine. The girls at our school don’t think twice about simply calling it “cheerleading.” “Kinji, you should help out too. You are my partner. You don’t care what you help out with anyway, right?”

“I ... guess not ...”

The whole purpose of the show is to improve the image of this profession called “butei,” which isn’t exactly seen in the best light in the eyes of the public. As such, it’s probably wise to make it look as cute as possible, so girls in cheerleader uniforms are the only ones dancing around. Guys have the less ostentatious role of performing band music in the back.

“Music, huh? Well, I’m not particularly good or bad at it. I guess that’ll do.”

“Ah, if Tohyama’s going to be part of the band, then maybe I will too. Muto, why don’t you join the band with us?” suggested Shiranui, directing another smile at Muto and I that felt like a cool breeze.

Man, that’s a perfect set of teeth you got there.

“The band, huh? That could be pretty cool. Alright, I’m in.”

Muto’s coming along for the ride. These two sure do like to act on a whim. I’m not one to talk though.

“... But Kanzaki,” said Shiranui, “it was such a waste for you to turn down the offer of being a representative. It’s a pretty popular story so I’m sure you’ve heard, haven’t you? If you win a medal in the Adsiard, you’ll have a bright future ahead of you. You can get into Butei University solely on recommendation, and it’ll look great on your resume when you’re job hunting. Word is, you can land a job at the Bureau of Butei or even join a top-ranking, privately owned butei firm of your choosing.”

“I’m not concerned about stuff that far ahead in the future. There’s something I have to do at this very moment. I don’t have time to be training for a competition.”

“Something I have to do.” Judging from the determination I could hear in Aria’s voice, I was fairly certain she was referring to helping her mother, Kanae Kanzaki. In order to rescue her mother, who had been incarcerated for crimes she did not commit, Aria was destined to combat and arrest the hordes of criminals. Riko Mine Lupin the Fourth, the “butei killer” whom we fought with previously, is one of the criminals who are truly responsible for charges being held against Kanae. And the same thing applied to me, Aria’s partner. Riko, who barely escaped from us during the hijacking incident, was also responsible for the death of my older brother. At the very least, that case was one I’d have to see to the end eventually. There was also the fact that … Riko was speaking as if my brother, who died while on duty, were still alive. I wager it was just a lie she told to rile me up, but to be honest, it was still causing me a little concern.

“The Adsiard can wait,” continued Aria, crossing her arms and leaning her upper body backwards. I think she was trying to create a situation in which she could look down at me since I was so much taller. She was only one hundred and forty-two centimeters. “Kinji, I have to whip you into shape first.”

“... W-Whip? You guys better not be into any weird hardcore stuff ...” said Muto, his cheeks twitching as he looked at Aria and me.

“Muto, don’t get started. I’ve already been through this with Shirayuki. And Aria ... at least call it “combat instruction” when others are around.”

“Stop your complaining. You’re my slave, so I can whip you all I want.”

You said “partner” just a little while ago. I’m demoted to a slave when it fits your convenience, am I?

“Now that I think about it, just how exactly do you plan on whipping me into shape?”

“Hmmm... For starters, as of tomorrow, you’re going to be doing morning drills with me every day.”

Ugh.

From the looks of it, Aria had just now come up with this obnoxious plan to do morning drills and was sitting there with a satisfied look on her face as she muttered to herself that it was a good idea.

Damn. My plan backfired. I never should have brought up the Adsiard.

Seven o’clock the next morning.

I woke up early and made my way to the meeting place, just like Aria ordered me to last night—with her pistols stuck into my back of course.

“Guess who.”

Aria had come up from behind and placed her hands over my eyes. When I turned around, I found myself speechless for a moment.

S-She looks so cute.

“Jeez. How could you let yourself be taken from behind like that? You’ve got a long ways to go.”

Aria, standing up as straight as she possibly could and with her hands on her hips, was in a cheerleader uniform. The cheerleaders of Butei High wore a rather unusual uniform; the primary color is black and the sleeveless top had a small opening above the bust line, providing a view of Aria’s pure white skin. I’m sure that normally, this hole would be in the shape of a heart or a star, but the way it was shaped like a bullet was most befitting of Butei High. Lowering my eyes to the skirt in trepidation, I noticed it was so short that it was permanently gun flashing (gun flash: a glimpse of the pistol hidden under a girl’s skirt. Coined by idiot Muto.)

“W-What’s with that getup?”

“You can’t tell? It’s a cheerleader uniform. Is there no limit to your ignorance?”

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from. In any case, what I was asking was ‘Why are you dressed like that?’”

“Then say so, you dunce. I’m going to practice my cheer routine while I discipline you. If I do both simultaneously, it’ll save time, right?” said Aria, looking around in satisfaction of our surroundings, which are completely void of any people.

This area, located on the outskirts of the Mega-Float upon where Butei High was located, was known as “Behind the Signboard.” It’s a long, narrow strip of vacant land that lies between the school gym and an enormous signboard that was set up facing Rainbow Bridge. Aria had only transferred to the school recently, but she quickly spotted this area because it’s almost always deserted and decided to make it our training grounds. Apparently, she was also planning on using this area to practice for the Ar-kata as well.

“. . . So? What am I supposed to be doing?”

“Ahem.” Cheerleader Aria pretended to clear her throat and putting on airs, drew herself up again.

It’s these little gestures of hers that make her look so childish. I’ll admit that it’s cute, but it’s also irritating.

“As far as I’m concerned, you’re an S-rank butei.”

“Only as far as you’re concerned, yeah.”

“No back talk.”

Seeing Aria reach for her pistols, I kept silent for my own safety.

“Being categorized as an S-rank Assault member means having the same combat strength as a Special Forces military unit.”

You’re crazy.

“That’s the kind of potential you have. You can do better if you try. But the problem is you’re unable to use your abilities freely. That’s why what we need is a “key” to awaken your powers.”

Professor Aria, lecturing like an expert. Never would she guess that she was that “key.”

“So after the hijacking incident I did some research—on multiple personalities, that is.”

Multiple personalities? Hehe. Incorrect.

Hysteria mode wasn’t a psychogenic acquired characteristic. It was a neurogenic inherited characteristic. In other words, multiple personality disorder is a completely different matter. But ... I decided to act impressed and said a few words to that effect.

“Did you now? I’m impressed you figured it out.”

Aria, by all means, continue your misdirected research.

“I studied about it in books and on the Internet. It was pretty interesting. Most likely, a trauma from your childhood days gave rise to split personalities, and the stress from combat caused your other self to manifest.”

“I see.”

“That’s what happed when your bike and the plane were hijacked, didn't it.”

“Yup.”

“Therefore, the first stage in your training will be to constantly subject you to the stress of combat,” said Aria, suddenly drawing the short katana she even had hidden in back of her cheerleader uniform.

“W-Whoa! Wait a sec!”

“What? I’ll use my pistols afterwards. Don’t worry.”

“That’s not it! If you start waving those things at me, I’m gonna wind up scattered all over this field!”

“Why don’t you try using that teaspoons amount of brains in that head of yours and think a little bit. There’s a rhythm to everything, right?” said Aria in a tone mixed with a sigh that I found particularly irksome. “The purpose of this training is to create a rhythm in which we awaken your powers by subjecting you to stress when you’re in ‘stupid Kinji mode’ and have you counterattack after those powers are awakened.”

“Counterattack ...?”

“You still don't get it? I guess it can’t be helped. I’ll break it down for you, so go ahead and cry tears of relief and joy, but clean the wax out of your ears so you can hear me.”

I think it would be kind of dangerous to cry joyfully while cleaning out one’s ears.

“Number one. You’re standing here in ‘stupid Kinji mode’ right now. Number two. Your powers awake during combat. Number three. You then counterattack. This is the ideal rhythm I’ve come up with.”

That’s it? For a person acting like she’s doing me a favor that sure is a ridiculously simple plan. If this girl is supposed to be the great-granddaughter of the world famous Sherlock Holmes the Fourth, for the sake of their country’s honor, I think the British government should consider having a DNA test done. Seriously.

“So the skill you need to learn is a counterattack technique.”

“Counterattack technique ... What is that?”

“First, you’re going to stop a sword by catching it with your bare hands,” said Aria, raising her katana.

“Wa-”

Before I could say “wait,” I heard the sound of the air being slashed at right next to my right ear. Aria had just swung her sword down towards my shoulder at a speed faster than the eye could follow. I couldn't see it, but she did stop one millimeter away from shoulder though. Riding along the wind created by Aria’s movements was that faint smell of gardenias.

“Okay. Go over that timing in your head five hundred times. You have ten minutes.”

“Go over the timing ...?”

“That’s right. Imagine yourself catching the katana based on the speed at which it just came at you. If you like, you can actually use your hands as if you were shadow boxing.”

Aria returned the katana to its scabbard on her back in one fluid motion.

“In other words … you just want me to do image training.”

“We can start mass producing lumps on your head right now if you want.”

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it.”

After breathing a very deep sigh, I reluctantly began imagining myself catching Aria’s katana. Aria nodded in satisfaction.

“That’s the way. You’re very commendable when you follow instructions. Good boy. I hear there’s a master swordsman among the IU members who made my mom a scapegoat. Techniques for countering knife attacks are the basics for any butei. Don’t slack off now,” said Aria in a condescending tone and with a smile on her face.

Get treated like a kid by her and it’s all over.

“Get to it. I’m gonna start counting now. Nine minutes and fifty-nine seconds. Fifty-eight seconds.”

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it.”

“No useless chatter. As a penalty, you just lost thirty seconds!”

What’s up with that “Aria rule”? She’s as tyrannical as a despot. Well . . . I guess I’ll stick it out with her though.

I let out a short sigh. All this talk about the key to my hysteria mode aside, I had already made up my mind about what I’m going to do after that last incident we went through. I’m not going to become some ally of justice. But ... I will continue to be her ally for a little while longer.

I’ll help Aria out with what she’s trying to do.

But the one thing I wanted to keep telling myself was that it wasn’t because she was cute, or I had fallen in love with her or anything like that. It was simply a matter of me seeing through to the end what I had already decided. I was only doing what I should be doing. As for the other things I had decided on—transferring from Butei High to a regular school next year, becoming a normal person who leads a normal life—I didn’t intend to change those plans, either.

These were the thoughts swimming through my head as I engaged in image training when Aria pull out her iPod from underneath her skirt and starting fiddling with it. Looking out of the corner of my eye, I saw there was a video being played on the small screen, which also served as a touch panel. It was a video demonstration of the choreography used in Ar-kata. As per Aria’s suggestion, I signed up to join the band, and the Adsiard preparatory committee sent me the same video this morning.

“Hmm ... This might be kind of cute,” Aria said to herself. Then, slightly distancing herself from me, she turned away and ... suddenly started dancing. She wasn’t doing too bad of a job, either.

Well I’ll be. She’s pretty good.

Having no interest in cheerleading, I’m not too knowledgeable on the subject. But even to my untrained eye, Aria’s movements as she began to dance and her twin pigtails flailed about, looked like those of an expert cheerleader. Her movements started out as the normal kind of cheerleading most are used to seeing, and from there, it took on a more gallant atmosphere as she incorporated the martial arts formations. Even so, when adorable, little Aria did all of this in that cheerleader uniform ... it was still very cutesy. Switching from a knife to her pistol, Aria continued to dance, and lifting her leg high into the air, she even performed a back walkover. According to Aria, boy shorts aren’t underwear so there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. But regardless of her choice in undergarments, I had to admit that she was good. Aria picked up her pom-poms and even had the nerve to show off one of those starry smiles. Normally, she was always in a bad temper and practically scowling, so even though Aria was only acting, the effects of these types of smiles were twice as potent. What kind of effects those were, I didn’t know. But despite all of that, seeing Aria practice her cheer routine like this ... really did make her come across as just an average girl. If this had been a regular high school, no one would assume her to be anything but—just a tad short, self-centered, energetic high-school girl that could be found anywhere.

“Hey ... Kinji.” Aria suddenly stopped dancing and her pink ponytails twirled as she spun around. “Have you been staring at me this whole time? Those are the eyes of a lecher.”

Aria placed her pom-poms against her hips. She then noticed her skirt had inched itself up slightly and used the pom-poms to straighten it out.”

“This isn't a show, you know?”

Though a bit late, I think she must have started to feel embarrassed because her puffed up cheeks had taken a red hue.

“I’d say cheerleading is a show—essentially. More to the point, staring at you is the last thing I’d want to do.”

To be sure, I had been fixated on Aria for too long, and feeling a bit awkward, I averted my gaze.

“Why were you watching me then?”

“That’s ... that’s ... nothing you need to be concerned about.”

“... I’m not concerned. It’s just ...”

“...”

Ah. This vibe ...

“Anyways, are you doing your image training like you’re supposed to be? In five minutes, we’re gonna start practicing using the back of the sword.”

“The back of the sword?”

Even if you use the back, it’s gonna hurt like hell. In short, you’re going to be beating me with a metal rod.

“I’ll go slow at first so stop looking so afraid. But I will gradually pick up speed,” said Aria, putting on a truly sinister smile.

“Ow ...”

School had just finished, and I was still rubbing the sensitive lump on my head as I left the Inquesta building.

Dammit. That Aria is a sadistic. She might have been using the back of her sword, but she pummeled me with the thing. I feel like I may have forgotten some English vocabulary or historical dates.

“Kiiinji.”

Aria was running towards me with the sunset at her back. It seems she was lying in wait in front of the Inquesta building again.

“I’ll say this right now; I’m not doing any training after school. I’ve got homework to do for my regular classes.”

“I haven’t said anything yet.”

“And I’m not going back to Assault. If you’re telling me to return to that group of death wishers, our partnership is over. I’m going to be living peacefully as a member of Inquesta until I transfer out of here next year.”

“I still haven’t said a word.”

Aria acted completely unconcerned with my harsh tone and began walking towards the bus stop. Then she turned around with a smile as magnificent as a sunflower and said, “But we will continue training tomorrow.”

... Well, I guess I can do that much. I am her partner.

Besides, this was one those gags where after giving me a false impression twice, the third statement ends with something about “opening a hole in me.”

“Hey, Kinji. At Assault today, we practiced techniques for countering the knives that an enemy throws at you.”

Aria continued to ramble on happily about dangerous things I didn’t care to hear for. She seemed to be in a fairly good mood recently. The reason was obvious. It was probably because I was acting like her partner more or less. Just like the great detective Sherlock Holmes had John H. Watson, the members of Aria’s family—the Holmeses—required a partner that would allow them to display their abilities to the fullest. Aria, who used to be all by herself and an “aria” in every sense of the word, had been running around looking for that partner. She had literally been searching all over the world. And she finally found one at Tokyo Butei High—me in hysteria mode. I wasn’t able to tap into that power at will, but even so, I was the partner who could be a match for a prodigy like Aria.

“Say, Kinji.”

“What?”

“Hehe. Never mind.”

“God, you’re a pain.”

I get really annoyed by how when we’re walking, Aria occasionally turns around to make sure that I’m there, and then, sending the skirt of her sailor uniform whirling around, she continues on her merry way.

“Aria, you’re not going to look for any other partners aside from me? Wouldn’t it be a good idea to include two or three more people and form a bigger party?

I’d love to have them be the ones to babysit this kid.

“We don’t need any teammates. I don’t work well in groups.”

I’m aware.

“I can fight on my own anyway. I just have to have a partner who can keep up with me. Once your training is complete, there won’t be anything to worry about. You’re the only one I need.”

Ah, crap. That means I gotta be the one to look out for her?

Just contemplating that fact was giving me a headache, and I said as much.

“... My head’s starting to hurt. It’s all because you beat me to a pulp.”

“So take some Aspirin.”

“The only thing I take for headaches or colds is Yamato Pharmaceutical’s ‘Extra Concentrated Kudzu Infusion.’”

“Extra Concentrated ...? What’s that?”

“It means a high concentration of ingredients used in herbal medicine. It’s made up of various Chinese medicines like kudzu and ephedra.”

“You sound like an old geezer. Go and take that then. I’ll be putting more lumps on your head tomorrow.”

“I just happen to be out at the moment ... And they only sell it at Ameyoko. It’s a real hassle going all the way out there. I get it at a drug store between Ueno and Okachi-machi, and there aren’t any train stations nearby.”

“Kinji.” Aria, who didn’t seem to have been listening to my grumbling, suddenly stopped in front of the educational affairs department. “Look at this.”

“... What?” I asked, looking at the bulletin board to which Aria pointed.

“Attention, Second Year Class B Shirayuki Hotogi of SSR. Come to the educational affairs department.”

Shirayuki had been called to the educational affairs department. That was something you didn’t see every day. She was an honor student with a student deviation value of seventy-five, the student body president, president of the horticulture club and handicraft club, captain of the girls’ volleyball team. Aside from the bizarre incident with Aria a few days ago, she led the life of a model student. I never would have thought Shirayuki would be called to the educational affairs department. “Aria, did you make a complain about Shirayuki assaulting you the other day?”

“I’m a noblewoman,” said Aria, glaring at me with her red eyes, “I wouldn’t do something as cowardly as snitch to a teacher about private matters—even if someone did pick a fight with me. What do you take me for?”

Well, well. That’s very admirable for someone like Aria.

I was a little impressed. Aria placed a small finger on her lips and started musing to herself..

“Kinji, this is the perfect chance to keep that savage girl away from you,” said Aria, taking her own savageness up a few notches and looking up at me intently from beneath my chin.

“We’re going to investigate this matter and find out what her weakness is.”

Didn’t you just say something about noblewomen not being cowardly?

“Her weakness ...? Why? Shirayuki hasn’t come near us since then.”

“Yes, she has!”

Huh?

“Lately, whenever I’m alone, I can feel the presence of someone behind doors. It feels like someone is watching me from the shadows. Telephone lines have been cut apart as if they were bugged.”

...

“Water is dumped on me when I walk through the hallways on school grounds. Blow darts come flying at me out of nowhere. I tumble into pitfalls!”

…. Whoa. Wait a second ...

“I also received letters with the word “home wrecker” written on them. Anyways, that girl is constantly harassing me! How blind can you be to not have noticed?! You’re so incompetent!”

“So that’s what was going on ...”

“And that’s not the end of it.”

It's not?

“When I opened my locker in the girl’s locker room the other day, there was piano wire strung across inside! She knows that because of ... certain physical limitations, I have to go deep inside my locker to get my clothes, and she set the wire up so it would be level with my neck!”

Now that … I can’t laugh at.

So basically, as soon as Aria dove into her locker, she would have lost her head. The only people who learned how to set up brutal traps like that were seniors in the Assult division or those in the Lezzad (intelligence) division.

“Kinji, the time Shirayuki is supposed to report to the educational affairs department is posted here. Let’s ...” I was knitting my brows when Aria, seething with anger, gave me the most terrifying order out of all those she’d given me since I first met her. “... sneak into the educational affairs department while she’s there.”

There were dangers lurking in every single inch of Butei High, but among them were particularly hazardous areas known as “the three great danger zones.” These would be Assault, Junction (underground warehouse), and the educational affairs department. Why is the educational affairs department (a simple, staff room for teachers) such a dangerous place? The answer is simple. Every single teacher at Butei High is a dangerous person. What do you expect? Teachers at a school this abnormal are guaranteed to be abnormal themselves. To put things into perspective, as far as I know, they were all previously soldiers in the special operation forces for various countries, mercenaries, mafia members ... There are even rumors that some of them were hit men. The list goes on. They’re a band of people with career histories I wish I had never known. Of course, there are some respectable teachers at the Inquesta and Connect (communications) division, but they’re such a minority that it’s really quite sad.

“Kinji, my hands won’t reach. Lift me up,” whispered Lady Aria as she and her slave (me) were infiltrating the lion’s den, a.k.a. the educational affairs department.

“Alright, alright.”

If I had refused go along with her plan, Aria would have given me a thrashing before opening a hole in me. If that were the case, it would be better to have a teacher kill me instead. They would probably make it quick. That sad logic is what propelled me to go along with Aria’s plan of sneaking into the educational affairs department. As I tried to keep my conscience distracted, I helped Aria reach the air duct attached to the ceiling of a hallway. If I had lifted Aria up in my arms, she would have just made comments about me molesting her again, so I put both of my hands on her sides and lifted her up like a little child.

“Ooh, look how tall you are,” I said under my breath, not really caring about the consequences.

“Gonna open a hole!” Aria responded as her knee, covered in black knee socks, dug itself ten inches into the pit of my stomach.

“Ngh!”

Paying no attention to my agony, Aria did a pull-up and climbed into the ceiling. Just when I thought the section of Aria’s legs between her skirt and her knee socks, or what Muto referred to as “absolute territory, flashed by my eyes, her foot used my head as a steppingstone and she crawled all the way inside. Taking Aria’s hand, I climbed up as well, and we noisily crept our way forward. With my master’s pigtails dragging along and her skirt right in front of my face, I became aware of the slight risk of going into hysteria mode, but luckily it was dark inside of the air duct. I couldn't even see the “absolute territory,” let alone the skirt. After proceeding a bit farther, I noticed Aria was crawling awfully fast. I was barely able to keep up with her as she turned the corner.

“Aria.”

“What?”

“Your crawling speed is pretty fast.”

“I’m good at it. I’m the fastest girl in Assault.”

“I figured as much.”

“Why?”

“There’s nothing to get in your way, after all.”

“Like what?”

“Breasts.”

Wham!

From around the corner, Aria’s kangaroo kick found its way to the side of my head. Her foot sank in about ten inches.

We found Shirayuki. She was in the office of the teacher that summoned her. The two of us peered inside from the thin openings of an air vent. Given its size, we wound up peeking into the office with our faces practically pressed against each other. If Aria were to show disgust or get upset at the, shall I say, “joining of our bodies,” I would start feeling awkward too. So I distanced my face from hers a little and cast her a quick glance. The light seeping in from the vent shone on Aria’s face, which I was seeing at point-blank range.

Aah, hell.

She was so cute, I nearly clicked my tongue in resentment. It was infuriating to admit, but Aria really did have an adorable face. It had features as well-formed as that of a doll’s, but it was also rich with expressions. Whether it was a look of happiness, sadness, or even one of concentration like she had on now, they all tugged at your heartstrings. She had the power of a Hollywood child actress. It was so unfair.

“Hotogi ...”

The voice that called Shirayuiki’s name was somewhat low for a woman’s. Inside the office was the head teacher for class B of the second year students, Ms. Tsuzuri. Ms. Tsuzuri was a teacher belonging to the Dagula (interrogation) division, and she was sitting in a black, leather chair with her legs crossed, wearing lace-up boots. Shirayuki was sitting in a chair across from Ms. Tsuzuri with her head hanging down.

“Your grades suddenly started dropping recently ...”

Despite being indoors, Ms. Tsuzuri was wearing a dark black coat, and she blew out cigarette smoke in the form of a ring. The manner in which she wore her coat reminded me of how slovenly doctors in manga wear their white coats. I could see the black, leather holster around her waist and the deep-black gun that rested inside it—a Glock 18. Among the teachers at our school, Tsuzuri was at the head of the list for dangerous people. First off, she always had glassy eyes. It was like she was on some sort of drug all year round. I mean, the grass-like smell coming from her cigarette was clearly different from the smell that commercial cigarettes gave off. I had to wonder if it was something a person could legally smoke in Japan. Tsuzuri had thin, black leather gloves over her hands and using one of them, put out the “cigarette” in an ashtray.

“Well, your studies aren’t that important though,” Tsuzuri said with a yawn.

Hey. A teacher isn’t supposed to say things like that. This is why Butei High students’ average deviation value doesn’t get any higher than fifty.

“What was it? Uhh. Oh, right. Change. Change gets you wondering.”

Tsuzuri, with a brain capable of forgetting a simple word like that, and an expression that read as complete apathy, was definitely someone not to be trifled with. But there was one thing at which she was frighteningly adept at as a butei.

Interrogation.

With regard to her skill in that field, she is one of the five most talented people in Japan. It was unclear what she did to the people she questioned, but when interrogated by Tsuzuri, even the most tight-lipped criminals had confessed everything. Apparently, by the time the interrogation was over, the criminal went insane and called her “Queen” or “Goddess,” but I wasn’t really sure what that was all about. Tsuzuri shook her head, tossing around her jet-black, bobbed hair.

“I’m going to get right to the point. Hotogi ... did that person make contact with you by any chance?”

“You’re referring to Durandal?”

Aria’s eyebrows twitched upon hearing what Shirayuki said.

Durandal.

I’d only seen that name in the notification that was e-mailed to us, but I remembered it as well. If I recall, Durandal was a kidnapper that targeted buteis with supernatural abilities—chouteis.

But Durandal’s very existence has been considered to be a rumor for some time now. No one has actually seen Durandal. The majority thinks the chouteis, who were said to be abducted, actually went missing while working on an unrelated case. As things stood, Durandal was just an urban legend that nobody took seriously.

“Nothing of that sort has happened. Quite frankly, even if Durandal does actually exist, I’m sure he would target more powerful chouteis instead of somebody like me.”

“Hotogi, have more confidence in yourself. You’re the pride of our school, you know?”

“T-That’s not true,” said Shirayuki, lowering her gaze in embarrassment and hiding behind her perfectly straight bangs.

“Hotogi, I’ve told you time and time again. Get a bodyguard. A report came from Lezzad mentioned there’s a high chance Durandal is targeting you. The same thing was predicted at SSR, right?”

“But ... a bodyguard ...”

“What’s the problem,” slurred Tsuzuri as she wrapped up some odd grass in what seemed to be a page she ripped out of an English to Japanese dictionary and bound the paper together with a lick of her tongue.

“There’s a childhood friend of mine I want to look after ... and if someone were to follow me around everywhere, it would be kind of ...”

“Hotogi, we teachers are worried about you. The Adsiard is taking place soon, so there will be more people on campus than usual. Even if it’s only for the duration of the event, have a capable butei act as your bodyguard. This is an order.”

“... But Durandal is a criminal that doesn’t even exist.”

“This is an order. I said it twice because this is important. You will regret it if I have to say it a third time,” said Tsuzuri, lighting her cigarette and blowing smoke in Shirayuki’s face.

Hey, Tsuzuri. I don’t care what happens to you, but what are you gonna do if Shirayuki loses any more brain cells.

“*Cough*. Y-yes Ma’am. I understand.”

Shirayuki squinted her eyes as the smoke came near them and finally nodded her consent.

... Taking the conversation we just overheard into account, it made sense why Shirayuki was called to the educational affairs department. Shirayuki, a choutei, had recently been receiving warnings from teachers that Durandal might be targeting her. That was why the educational affairs department wanted her to get a bodyguard. But Shirayuki had persistently refused. You could say I agreed with her regarding the bodyguard. At Butei High, students were often given warnings just like these, but there were rarely any actual instances of said students being attacked. SSR’s predictions couldn’t really be trusted to begin with, and Lezzad was famous for generating rumors. Moreover, the enemy this time was Durandal, whose very existence was doubtful. In other words, the educational affairs department was being overprotective. Being the excellent student that she was, Shirayuki had a lot of expectations placed upon her. If there were even a slight possibility of anything happening to her, the educational affairs department would take no chances. That‘s why they’re overreacting to this unconfirmed information and ordering Shirayuki to have a bodyguard. Shirayuki is the one to empathize with here. It must be really bothersome having your life disrupted for the convenience of adults. Just as I was starting to put a wry expression on my face, I was startled by the noise of Aria punching open the air vent.

“Wha-? Hey!”

I grabbed onto the hem of her skirt in an attempt to stop her, but a few kicks in my direction set her free, and she jumped down into the office with her skirt fluttering wildly. Shirayuki, Tsuzuri, and I had a look of shock on our faces. I couldn’t see from up here, but I’m pretty sure her skirt turned up a lot farther than what would be deemed appropriate.

“I’ll be her bodyguard!”

Taken aback by Aria’s words, I couldn’t help but lean forward...

“Whoaa?!” I screamed as I fell towards Aria.

“Uaah!”

“Oof!”

Aria was as flat as a pancake for a moment, but she threw me off soon enough.

“K-K-Kinji! Don’t press that idiotic face of yours against me! Especially not there!”

While Aria was yelling at me with a deep red face, Tsuzuri lifted her off the floor by the back of her collar. As I was getting up, I was suddenly lifted up by the front of my collar as well, and Tsuzuri threw both of us against the wall.

I can’t believe how insanely strong she is.

“Hmm? What do we have here?” asked Tsuzuri, squatting down and looking into our faces. “Well I’ll be. It’s the two lovebirds from that hijacking incident the other day.”

Tsuzuri inhaled deeply on her cigarette and audibly cracked her neck twice with a faint smile on her lips as she looked up diagonally into the air. This gesture of hers was a dangerous sign.

And don’t call us lovebirds.

“If it isn’t Aria H. Kanzaki. Dual Government pistols and two short katanas. Alias: Quarda. An S-rank butei who was active in Europe. But it looks like all of your exploits are officially recorded as achievements of the London Bureau of Butei. It’s because you don’t know how to cooperate with others, you dolt.”

Tsuzuri grabbed one of Aria’s pigtails by its base and continued discussing her profile while getting a good look at her face.

“T-That hurts. And I’m not a dolt. Noblewomen don’t boast of their exploits. Even if others claim them for their own, we won’t deny it!” answered Aria, unflinching and bearing her cuspid.

“Is that so? You only wind up losing out with that sort of social status. I’m glad I’m a commoner. There was something else ... Oh, right. You can’t sw-”

“Aaaaah!”

Tsuzuri was about to say something, but Aria flung her arms around and cut her off with a loud shriek. Additionally, she had turned bright red and her mouth was rapidly opening and closing.

Sw? What’s that?

“T-T-That's not a weakness of mine! I’m fine if I just put a ring buoy on!”

Oh. Aria, you just gave it away.

Shirayuki, who was still stunned by the sudden commotion, didn’t seem to pick up on it, but I understood perfectly.

You can’t swim. Haha. I just learned something useful. Good job, Tsuzuri!

“And over here ...” Tsuzuri let go of panicky Aria and looked at me, who was imagining Aria drowning in a kiddie pool, “... we have Kinji Tohyama.”

“Um ... I didn’t want to come here, but Aria went and ...”

“Unsociable personality. You have a tendency to distance yourself from others.”

It would seem that Tsuzuri had data on every student here in that head of hers, which she was using to recall information on me.

“However, there are many students in Assault who regard you quite highly, and it’s believed that you possess some type of latent talent. If I’m not mistaken, the cases you’ve solved are ... searching for a cat in Aomi, the hijacking of ANA flight 600 ... Why is everything you do on such a small or grand scale?”

“Don’t ask me.”

“Your weapon is a illegally customized Beretta M92F.”

Uh-oh.

“It’s capable of firing in three-round burst or even full automatic. Why don’t we just call it the “Kinji Model”?

“Uh, the thing is ... it was destroyed during the hijacking incident. Currently, I’m using a cheap model I bought from the U.S. armed forces. It’s in conformation with the law of course.”

“Oh? I’ll bet you’ve already asked the Armed (Equipment) division to customize it for you, haven’t you?”

*Sizzle*

“Ow!”

Tsuzuri, showing me the feat of being able to laugh while angry, had just pressed the end of her cigarette into my hand! Unbelievable. It was just for an instant so there was no burn mark, but what teacher would dare give her student a cigarette burn?! In any event, this lady seemed to know everything.

“So? What exactly do you mean by ‘I’ll be her bodyguard’?”

Aria scrambled to her feet as Tsuzuri turned towards her.

“I meant just what I said. I’ll be Shirayuki’s bodyguard twenty-four hours a day with no remuneration!”

“Hey, Aria ...!”

Why are you volunteering to be Shirayuki’s bodyguard? If anything, you’d be one to assault her.

That’s what I communicated with me eyes, but Aria had made up her mind.

“... Hotogi, I’m not sure what’s going on, but it looks like an S-rank butei is willing to guard you for free,” said Tsuzuri, sending the hem of her coat flapping as she turned towards Shirayuki.

“I ... I refuse! It would be appalling to have Aria next to me all the time!”

The brows under Shirayuki’s perfectly straight bangs furrowed with anger, showing me the exact reaction I expected.

“If you don't let me be your bodyguard, I’m going to shoot this guy!” declared Aria, pulling a silver Government out from underneath her dark-red skirt and placing the muzzle against my temple.

H-Hey! Butei Charter, Article Nine! Article Nine! Buteis aren’t supposed to kill people, Aria!

“K-Kin-chan!” cried Shirayuki, placing both hands over her mouth.

Aria had an evil smile on her face that seemed to indicate everything was going according to plan.

“Hmmm. I see. So that’s the relationship you all have. Well? What are you going to do Hotogi?”

I don’t know what Tsuzuri found amusing about all of this, but she smiling openly.

That’s not the issue, is it? Do something about this gun in my face!

“O-O-On one condition!” Shirayuki exclaimed with clenched fists beside her thighs and her teary eyes closed tight. “Kin-chan has to act as my bodyguard too! Twenty-four hours a day!

Shirayuki’s tearful voice echoed within the office.

“I’m ... I’m going to live with Kin-chan too!”

Something possessing a shape very similar to myself flew out of my body.