Second Bullet Aria H. Kanzaki

I did it again…

After the opening ceremony, which in the end I was never able to attend, I depressingly made my way to the educational affairs department to report the incident that took place and treaded wearily along to my new classroom.

Histeria savant syndrome.

I just called it “hysteria mode”, but when the amount of intra-cerebral beta endorphins secreted during times of romance exceeded a certain level, about thirty times the normal amount of neural transmitters were used as a medium to drastically accelerate the activity of the cerebrum, cerebellum, spinal cord—the central nervous system of people with this trait. As a result, when a person entered hysteria mode, one’s ability to perform logical thinking, make good judgments, and even fast reflexes increased dramatically, and then this and that happens and…Well, to put it simply, when people with this trait were sexually aroused, they temporarily entered a super mode, transforming them into a completely different person. I was back to normal now, but I was pretty depressed about having entered hysteria mode in front of a girl, namely Aria. Normally, this condition was something that needed to be kept a secret from others—especially from females. Females were very frightening creatures…

In order to leave behind offspring, males instinctively became more powerful to a greater or lesser extent when protecting a female. Hysteria mode was an extreme example of exactly that. Whether it was because of those male instincts or not, I wasn’t sure, but when I went into hysteria mode, the drawback was the bizarre mentality I adopted towards females. First off, I would get the urge to protect a girl at any cost. If I came across a girl in a bind, I’d want to use my prowess as a means of having the girl desire me as I fought for her. The second problem was what I really couldn’t stand. I’d start to act and speak in an overbearingly flamboyant manner in front of that girl. This was also tied to the basis of hysteria mode, which was the instinct to “leave behind offspring”. The intent was to act like a guy that a girl would find charming, but…in hysteria mode, I’d treat females with kindness, flatter them, console them, and casually touch them. I became such a horrible gigolo that just thinking about it afterwards made me want to die. But it was the girls that were really scary.

If I recall, the worst was back when I was in middle school. The middle school affiliated with Kanagawa Butei High. Some of the girls who learned about my condition found out that they could take advantage of me. They would perform all sorts of mischief to force me into hysteria mode and work me like a dog. Some would use me as tool of vengeance for being bullied. Others would have me punish a teacher for sexual harassment. In other words, I was made to be their self-righteous “hero of justice”. Then you’ve got a girl like Shirayuki, which was a problem in itself…

And so, I left my hometown and came here to Tokyo Butei High School to take the entrance exam. That morning, renown as I am for my bad luck, Shirayuki just happened to come crashing into me in the hallway and fell down in the process of running away from some ill-mannered guys who were giving her a hard time. It was the kind of incident that would come straight out of a comic book. In any case, I wound up going into hysteria mode here as well. So I beat the hell out of the punks who were chasing Shirayuki and ended up whispering sweet words to her and gently consoling her until she stopped crying and calmed down. Ever since then, her naturally oppressive nature seemed to go into overdrive. But the thing is I wanted to go through life with as little contact with women as possible…

Magazines and DVDs of “that” nature didn’t really pose a problem. I wasn’t interested in that sort of thing anyway, and more importantly, all I had to do was keep myself from looking at them. It didn’t work that way with real life girls, though. They had bombs hidden within their blouses as well as underneath their skirts and they were walking around all over the place.

Damn it, I sure inherited one hell of a problematic disorder.

Curse this troublesome, annoying, and extremely embarrassing ability—this wretched, detestable ability that caused the downfall of my older brother.

“Teacher, I want to sit next to him.”

At the very first homeroom for the second year students assigned to class A, I nearly fainted when misfortune befell on me. That girl with the pink twin pigtails was also assigned to class A, and suddenly pointed at me while making that statement. A brief silence fell over the class, and then the eyes of every student homed in on me all at once.

“Oooooooh!” they all cheered.

Me? I fell right off my chair. All I could do was sit there speechless.

“Hee hee,” laughed the teacher. “Well then, let’s start off by having the cute little girl, who transferred to our school in the third semester of last year, introduce herself.”

Our teacher’s briefing gave me a very bad feeling. The short little girl who sat up from a desk outside of my field of vision and stepped onto the podium was indeed Aria H. Kanzaki. With hysteria mode having already worn off and me back to my normal self, I couldn’t think of what action to take and sat there trembling, half afraid that I might get shot at right there in class.

“I want to sit next to him,” Aria said abruptly.

“W-what for?!” I whispered to myself with a voice that finally became functional. It couldn’t be because she wanted to use me as a “hero of justice”. I’m pretty sure she hadn’t figured out about my hysteria mode. Did she take a liking to me? Doubtful. After all, not too long ago, she was enraged and had her weapons pointed at me to the very end. Does this mean she plans to sit next to me and slowly but surely end my life?

“This is great, huh, Kinji?! I’m not sure what’s going on but it looks like spring has come your way! Teacher, I’ll switch seats with her!” The large guy sitting to my right shook my hand up and down like a secretary to a candidate and left his seat smiling from ear to ear. This guy with spiky hair and a height of nearly one hundred and ninety centimeters was Goki Muto. He was an accomplished student in the Logi division who often took us to the site when I used to be in the Assault division. From scooter to rockets, he had the ability to pilot anything that could be called a vehicle.

“Oh, my. High school girls these days are quite assertive, aren’t they? Very well, Muto. Trade seats with her.” After looking at Aria and I in turn with a happy expression on her face, the teacher quickly gave her consent to Muto, who knew nothing of the circumstances between us. It finally got to the point where the rest of the class started sending their applause.

You’ve got it all wrong! I don’t know anything about her. What’s more, she’s the violent girl who was shooting her gun at me just a while ago! Take it back! Take it back, I say!

Just as I was about to make such a protest to the teacher, Aria spoke up.

“Kinji, here's your belt.” Out of the blue, she called me by my first name and tossed me the belt that I lent her in the gym storehouse.

Now that I took a good look at her, it became apparent that she acquired another uniform because both the top and bottom half were brand new. As I caught my belt, another member of the class spoke up.

“I get it! I know exactly what this is! He triggered a flag!” exclaimed Riko Mine, standing up from her seat to the left of Kinji. “Kii-kun isn’t wearing his belt! It was in the possession of Miss Pigtails! This is quite the mystery! But I’ve figured it out!”

Riko, who was almost as short as Aria, was the number one ditz of the Inquesta division. Her Butei High school uniform, which she diabolically modified into a mess of frills, was evidence of that. I believe they called that fashion “Sweet Lolita”. “Kii-kun” by the way, was the eccentric nickname by which this eccentric person called me.

“Kii-kun did ‘something’ that required him to take off his belt in front of this girl! Then he absentmindedly left his belt in her room! In other words…these two are in the midst of a hot and passionate romance!” Mine, with her naturally curly hair done in dog ears and flailing wildly, asserted her idiotic deduction.

Romance? Are you serious?

But then again, this is Butei High—a stomping ground for idiots. The entire class immediately filled with excitement.

“W-when did Kinji start dating a cute girl like that?!”

“I always thought he didn’t have much charisma!”

“He’s been secretly doing that sort of thing?! The guy doesn’t seem interested in other people in general, let alone girls!”

“How indecent!”

Aside from the general courses attended by groups of students assigned to specific classes, the students of Butei High also participated in specialized courses, which were akin to club activities so that students weren’t divided by class or year. This was why most students here were familiar with each other. Still, these guys were getting along way too well considering it was the start of the new semester. At times like this…

“Y-you guys better…” I clutched my head in my hands and turned my face down towards my desk.

Blam, Blam!

The sound of two gunshots resonating in succession instantly brought a dead silence to the class. Aria, red as a tomato, had drawn her two pistols and fired them without hesitation.

“R-romance?! Don’t be stupid!” Aria exclaimed.

A hole had been made in the left and right wall where each of Aria arms, spread like wings, were pointed.

Clink, clink, clink.

The empty cartridges that were ejected from the guns fell to the floor making the silence all the more noticeable. Idiot Riko, little by little, slunk back into her chair with her body twisted in a position as if she had been in the middle of some avant-garde dance. The rule at Butei High was students were not to fire their weapons “any more than necessary” when outside the firing range. In other words, it was allowed. Shoot-outs were a daily occurrence for Butei, which was what the students here were trying to become, so it was necessary to make them as desensitized to gunfire as any other soldier by exposing it to them regularly. That was the rationale, but…this girl must have been the first person to ever suddenly open fire during her self-introduction at the start of the new semester.

“All of you keep this mind! If anyone says anything stupid like that…”

It was the first thing Aria H. Kanzaki said to the students of Butei High. “I’m gonna open a hole in you!”

The instant it became time for our lunch break, I was plagued with questions from the other students, but managed to come up with an excuse to take my leave from those idiots and took refuge on the roof of the science building. I couldn’t answer any questions regarding Aria to begin with. I met her for the first time this morning, she saved me after my bike was hijacked, and then she chased after me with her weapons in hand. That’s as far as our relationship went. I didn’t know her personally. As I let out a sigh in a fit of depression, a few girls came up to the rooftop chatting. I recognized their voices. They were girls from my class—girls from the Assault division at that. I crept into the shadows like a wanted criminal.

“You know that e-mail notification that was sent out by the educational affairs department? The one about a second-year male student’s bicycle being blown up. Don’t you think it was referring to Kinji?”

“Ah, I was thinking the same thing. After all, he didn’t show up at the opening ceremony.

“Geez. Kinji sure is unlucky today. First, he has his bike blown up, and then there’s Aria.”

The three girls, sitting side by side next to the chain-link fence, seemed to be talking about me. With a rather sour look on my face, I decided to just hide quietly for the meantime.

“I felt kind of sorry for Kinji back in class.”

“I know what you mean. Aria was going around asking questions about him before the day could even start.”

“Ah, she asked me too. She wanted to know what kind of Butei he was and if he had any past achievements. I didn’t really give it much thought though. I just said, ‘He was pretty amazing when he used to be in the Assault division.’”

“I just saw Aria in front of the educational affairs department. I’ll bet she’s looking through his file right now.”

“Sheesh. She must be seriously head over heels for the guy.”

Being the center of their conversation, I just couldn’t help but listen in on them.

“Before the day could even start”? That means she started stalking me right after the hijacking incident.

“Poor Kinji. He already hates girls, and then of all the girls in this school, Aria sets her sights on him. I don't care if she was raised in Europe or anything like that; she seriously needs to take a hint.”

“But you know, Aria does seem to be a bit popular with the guys.”

“That’s right. I heard she got her own fan club right after transferring here during third semester. Apparently, the pictures that the guys from the photography club secretly took of her during gym are being sold at a premium.”

“I know about that. I’m told the Polaroid pictures of her taken during figure skating and cheerleading class go for hundreds of dollars. The same thing goes for her rhythmic gymnastics pictures.”

What kind of classes are those? Is this really a legitimate school?

“But the thing is she doesn’t have any friends, does she? She skips school a lot too.”

“And she’s always eating lunch by herself. She sits in the corner of the classroom, all alone.”

“Psh! How creepy!”

Listening to their obnoxious chatter, my gloom only deepened further. Having no interest in others, I wasn’t even previously aware of Aria’s existence, but she apparently had a personality that brought attention to her even here at Butei High, which was full of couples.

There was a specific time frame during which students were allowed to transfer out of Butei High School and into a regular school. Under Butei Law, students were required to register all their firearms and swords with the public safety commission, which is why students weren’t permitted to withdraw from school until April, when the time came to renew their registration. Furthermore, students who wished to transfer out of Butei High had to submit an application one year or at least six months in advance. I already had my application form filled out. I planned to turn it in shortly and leave the world of the Butei come next April. My only regret is having to leave my apartment. It’s a real nice place.

Evening.

Finally free of those idiots in my class, I slumped deeply into the sofa at my apartment and from the window, gazed at Tokyo’s sky, aglow with the setting sun. I’ve been living alone in this dormitory apartment since January of this year. Originally, these apartments were made to accommodate four people, but when I switched divisions, just by chance, there were no other males from Inquesta to share a room with, so I don’t have any roommates. Lucky me. It was a great feeling to be able to live as I pleased and in peace in this space where I wouldn’t be bothered by all the dumb couples of Butei High. Nothing beats solitude.

Ah, it sure is quiet…

This morning’s bike-jacking seemed like a dream. Regarding that incident, Repier collected the remains of the Segways, and Inquesta started an investigation. It might seem like I’m beating a dead horse, but the sad truth was that in the daily life of students at Butei High something as trivial as attempted murder wasn’t given too much attention. Due to having gotten too used to gunfights while in Assault and being pestered about Aria all day, not even I, the victim, was giving it much thought. Still…I wonder what that was all about. It was pretty malicious for a prank. Looks like our “Butei killing” copycat criminal is a bomber.

Bombers were one of the vilest types of criminals existing in this world, and they usually showed no discretion when choosing their targets. Generally, they gathered people’s attention by indiscriminately causing an explosion and then forced their demands on the society.

Ding-dong.

Does that mean that bomb just happened to be planted on my bicycle due to bad luck?

Ding-dong, ding-dong.

Or was I personally being targeted? But for what? Nobody had any reason hold a grudge against me.

Ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong, ding-dong.

Oh, shut up!

Someone had been repeatedly ringing my doorbell for some time now. I was going to pretend that I wasn’t here, but it didn’t look like it was going to work.

What's going on here? I had a hell of a day today, and I’m dead tired. At least, leave me in peace after school is over.

“Who is it…?” I asked in a dreary, less-than-polite tone as I grudgingly opened the door.

“That took you forever! When I ring the doorbell, answer the door within five seconds!” came a stern voice.

In front of me was a girl with her hands on her hips and narrowed eyes the color of a reddish purple camellia.

“K-Kanzaki?!”

There was Aria H. Kanzaki, standing before me in her school uniform. I rubbed my eyes like a character in a comic book would, but when I opened them, Aria was still there.

Why is she here?!

“You can just call me Aria.” Before Aria even finished her sentence, she hopped over the threshold on one foot, taking off her shoes and dropping them by the door. She then started to trit-trot her way into my apartment.

“H-hey!” I made a grab for Aria in an attempt to stop her, but thanks to her child-like stature, she easily ducked out of the way. All I had gained from my efforts was the feel of her smooth pigtails as they grazed my fingertips.

“Wait a second! Don’t just come barging in here!”

“Bring my suitcase inside! Say, where’s the bathroom?”

Aria paid me no heed and went snooping around all over the place. Finding the bathroom rather quickly, she scurried inside and closed the door behind her.

…Not good.

This was Butei High. And the term “Butei” originates from “armed detective”. In other words, I had been tailed.

“And what does she mean by ‘suitcase’…?”

Still not sure just what was happening, I looked behind me to find a suitcase on wheels—which I could presume Aria brought with her—sitting outside the door. It was fairly stylish with a striped pattern and a logo that unmistakably indicated it to be a name-brand suitcase.

This can’t be happening.

If any of the other students see a girl’s suitcase sitting outside my door, there’s no telling what they’re going to say. I mentioned it to Shirayuki this morning as well, but this is a men’s dormitory.

“Do you live here by yourself?” Aria came out of the bathroom and washed her hands. She paid no attention to me as I dragged her abnormally heavy suitcase through the door, wondering what she could have possibly packed into it, and continued looking around the apartment. Then she invaded the living room and went to the farthest corner where the window was located.

“Oh, never mind.”

Never mind “what”?

Bathed in the glow of the setting sun, Aria spun around and faced me, her twin pigtails following her lead in an elegant curve.

“Kinji, be my slave!”

…

……

…………Unbelievable. This girl is absolutely unbelievable. One moment she saves me, the next moment she shoots her pistols and waves her swords at me. She sits next to me in class, comes barging into my home, and now it’s “be my slave”?

“What are you just standing there for? At least have the sense to hurry up and bring me something to drink! How rude can you be?!”

Aria dropped that small butt of hers onto the sofa I had been sitting on previously, causing her skirt to flutter high into the air. When she crossed her legs, I caught a short glimpse of her thighs as well as one of the two pistols she kept attached to them.

She stays armed even after school? This girl’s dangerous.

“I want coffee! Espresso lungo doppio! Use cane sugar! Have it ready in one minute!”

You’re the rude one here. And what kind of coffee is that? Sounds like an incantation of some sort of magic spell.

I had a strong gut feeling that getting her to leave would prove to be a most frightening task, so I just abandoned the idea and made her a cup of instant coffee.

“?” With a look of surprise on her face, Aria brought her nose to the cup, which she was holding on both sides, and sniffed at it intently.

“Is this really coffee?”

Apparently, she didn’t know what instant coffee was.

“That’s all I’ve got, so be thankful and drink it.”

She took another sip.

“It tastes weird. It kind of reminds me of Greek coffee… Hmm, maybe not.”

“The taste isn’t the issue here. More importantly,” Sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the table, I took a sip of my own coffee as I pointed my finger at the trespasser. “I’m grateful to you for saving me this morning. And…I apologize for saying things that upset you. But that’s no reason to barge in here like this. What’s the big deal?” I asked with pursed lips.

Holding onto her cup, Aria remained perfectly still as she shifted her red eyes and looked into mine.

“You don’t know?”

“Of course, I don't know.”

“I thought you, of all people, would have figured it out a long time ago. Hmm…but I guess it’ll dawn on you sooner or later. Oh, never mind.”

I do mind.

“I’m hungry.” Aria suddenly changed the subject as she threw herself on top of the arm of the sofa. Seeing her girlish gesture put a slightly red hue on my cheeks, and I averted my eyes.

“Do you have anything to eat?”

“No, I don’t.”

“You gotta have something. What do you usually eat?

“I always get my meals from the convenience store downstairs.”

“Convenience store? Ahh, that miniature supermarket. Okay then, let’s go.”

“What do you mean, ‘Okay then, let’s go’? What for?”

“You’re so dumb. We’re going to get something to eat. It’s already dinner time.”

This isn’t good. We’re not on the same page here. Wait a second. Is she planning on staying for dinner too? I want her to hurry and go home.

As I placed my hand on my forehead because of a resulting headache, Aria jumped away from the couch in a way that made it seem like she had springs attached to her body. She then marched her way over to me and brought her face so close to mine that she was looking up at me from directly underneath my chin.

Whoa, back up. “Do they sell Matsumoto Peach Buns there? That’s what I feel like eating right now.”

There were three things a Butei had to watch out for: darkness, poison, and women. Aria, falling squarely into the third category, bought seven whole peach buns at the convenience store. Peach buns were just plain-old bean paste buns shaped like peaches, which was slightly popular a little while back, and she practically bought every last remaining one. I didn’t think she was actually going to eat all of them right then and there, but then she betrayed my expectations and looked like she was going to do just that. Sitting at the table, Aria was already devouring the fifth one. Where in the world is she putting those peach buns inside that small body of hers?

I was eating my usual hamburger patty bento and sending the bothersome intruder a gaze with my eyes that tried to convey the message, “Hurry up and leave.” But Aria wasn’t paying attention to my glare and the message they were sending her. Instead, she proceeded to start on her sixth peach bun and place her hand on her cheek as she blissfully savored her meal. Were those things really that tasty?

“By the way, what exactly did you mean by that ‘be my slave’ remark?”

“Join my party in the Assault division. We’re going to conduct Butei operations together.”

“What are you talking about? I left Assault because I hated it and transferred to Inquesta, the most normal division there is here at Butei High. Not to mention I intend on transferring out of this school and into a regular one. I’m not going to be a Butei. That in mind, you want me to go back to that insane division? Impossible.”

“There are three phrases that I hate.”

“Are you listening to me?”

“That’s impossible. I’m too tired. I don’t feel like it. These are three deplorable phrases that people use to stifle their own unlimited potential. Make sure you never use those words in front of me again. Understood?”

Having said that, Aria gobbled down the seventh peach bun and licked the bean paste off her fingers.

“As for your position, let’s see…you should be in front with me.”

“Front” refers to front man. It’s the vanguard position when Butei form a party—a dangerous position with the highest probability of getting injured.

“No I shouldn’t. Why me, anyway?”

“Why does the sun rise? Why does the moon shine?”

Again, the conversation goes awry.

“You’re just like a kid who does nothing but ask questions. If you’re a Butei, gather information yourself and make your own deductions.”

I don’t wanna hear that from someone who looks like a kid herself.

I almost said it out loud, but then I remembered that I was nearly killed this morning for making a similar remark, so I swallowed my words. In any event, there’s one thing I understood. Any attempt to engage in a discussion with her would be useless. If I were to make an analogy between our conversation and a game of catch, Aria would be a pitching machine one-sidedly throwing her demands directly at me until I turned black and blue. In order for me to compete with her, my only option is to be completely frank in making my own demands known. Having come to this conclusion, I switch to a slightly more overbearing tone.

“In any case, get going already. I want to be alone. Go home.”

“I will…eventually.”

“And when will that be?”

“When you agree to join my party in Assault.”

“You do realize it’s already night time?”

“I’m going to do whatever it takes to get you to join. Time’s not on my side. If you refuse…”

“You bet I’m gonna refuse. What are you gonna do about it? Try your worst.”

I took a firm position as I denied her, and Aria glared at me with those large eyes of hers.

“If you refuse, I’m going to stay here at your place.”

Say what?! My cheeks were twitching so spasmodically I looked like I was about to go into a seizure.

“W-wait a second! What on earth are you talking about?! There’s no way you’re staying here! Go home!” I was so shocked that I had to swallow down the hamburger, which nearly made its way back up my throat.

“Stop your whining! If I say I’m staying here, then I’m staying here! I already prepared for a drawn-out battle!” shouted Aria with a voice that sounded like she was about to go on a frenzy and pointed to her suitcase near the door while scowling at me.

That suitcase is filled with all her personal belongings, she’s planning to stay! Why is she going this far? What’s her objective? What could she have to gain from bringing someone like me back to Assault?

“Get out!”

I’m not the one who just said that. Aria took the initiative and screamed the words that I should have been the one to say.

“W-why do I have to be the one to leave?! This is my place!”

“Stubborn people like you need to be punished! Go out and cool your head! Don’t come back for a while!” yelled Aria, swinging her fists in the air and displaying that cat-like tooth.

I’m not really sure what just took place, but I was driven out of my own home. I went to the convenience store and looked through a comic strip magazine with a scowl on my face, but then I figured I couldn’t just stand there reading without purchasing anything, so I bought the issue before heading back home. It was, indeed, my home. Yet I softly opened the door and stepped inside as if I were a burglar.

Oh? I don’t sense Aria’s presence.

I looked around the living room and the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be seen.

Thank heavens. God hasn’t forsaken me, after all. I’m not sure what happened, but it looks like she left.

I breathed a sigh of relief and headed for the lavatory to wash my hands, seeing as how I just came back from being outside.

That’s when I hear a splash of water coming from the bathroom. Upon investigating, I noticed through the opaque glass door that the light was on in the bathroom. I could slightly make out the small silhouette of a person with their legs sticking out of the bathtub, humming a song. So that’s it. She was taking a bath.

…What?!

…Taking a bath?!

I took a step backwards.

I get it. She got rid of me because she wanted to take a bath.

Nervously looking downwards, I saw Aria’s uniform placed in a plastic laundry basket. In her skirt, which had been turned inside out, were the holsters she kept concealed there and the pistols were sticking out of them.

Additionally, two short Japanese swords were jutting out from under her white blouse, which was also turned inside out. I hear the sound of the silhouette, or rather, Aria I should say, getting out of the bathtub and thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest.

Impossible. This can’t be happening.

Already in a state of panic, I was further distressed by another sound.

Ding-dong.

It was the horrible chime of the doorbell.

T-This way of ringing the doorbell…Shirayuki?!

“Whoaaaa?!” As I ran out into the hallway, I stumbled over my own feet and slammed into the wall.

“Ki-kin-chan, what happened? Are you all right?” came Shirayuki’s voice from behind the door.

Uh-oh. She heard that noise just now. I can’t pretend I’m not here anymore.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine.”

Assuming an air of composure, I opened the door. Shirayuki was dressed in her shrine maiden garb consisting of a crimson hakama and white kosode. She was also carrying some sort of bundle in her hands.

“W-What are you dressed like that for?” I asked abruptly, with my eyes periodically darting back towards the bathroom.

“Oh, this? You see, I was running late because of class, but I wanted to make you dinner and deliver it to you as soon as possible, so I came here without changing first… I-If it bothers you, I can go get changed and come back.”

“No, that’s all right.”

I stopped Shirayuki right where she was because from the looks of her, she really would get changed and come back. The class she was talking about was probably SSR. SSR was short for Supernatural Searching Research, an extremely suspicious specialized course to study those with psychic abilities. I didn't know the details of the course, nor did I want to know, but apparently this shrine maiden was a model student in that area as well. But now wasn’t the time to be worrying about that. Currently, a supernatural phenomenon was taking place in my home.

“Say, Kin-chan. You know that e-mail notification that was sent out this morning about the bicycle-bombing incident? Were you…the person involved in that by any chance?”

“Y-yeah. That was me.” I mumbled the words very quickly, but when Shirayuki heard this she literally jumped up ten inches into the air.

“A-Are you okay?! Were you hurt?! Let me treat your wounds!”

“I’m fine. Don’t touch me.”

“O-Okay…. But I’m glad you’re safe. Nevertheless, the culprit is unforgivable for targeting you like that. I’m going to rip whoever did this to shreds and bury the person in concr…I mean, arrest him!” I had a feeling I heard an odd word surface in the declaration she just made, but I must have been hearing things. Yeah, I’ll leave it at that.

“Don’t worry about it. Shootouts are an everyday occurrence here, aren’t they? This conversation is over.”

“O-Okay. Um…sure.” Shirayuki looked as if she still had more to say, but nodded her head.

I wish a certain twin-pigtailed girl would take an example from Shirayuki and be a bit more compliant.

“…But…um…it feels like there’s something…different about you tonight, Kin-chan.”

“D-Different? In what way?”

“You seem to be a bit more distant than usual…”

Uh-oh. Why is this girl so perceptive?

“I-It’s just your imagination! More importantly, tell me why you’re here! What did you come for?”

What I really need to be doing is getting rid of her ASAP. If Aria comes out into the hallway with nothing but a bath towel wrapped around her, things are gonna get ugly.

“U-Um, I wanted to give you this.” Fidgeting, Shirayuki handed me the bundle she was carrying. “I made rice with bamboo sprouts for dinner. They’re in season now…and starting tomorrow I’m going to be training at Mount Osore, so I won’t be able to make you any meals for a while…”

“O-Oh. Thanks a lot. Well, that’s all you came here for, right? You should hurry on home, now. Okay?”

I accepted the bundle and Shirayuki smiled cheerfully. Her cheeks also took on a cherry-color.

“T-To think I made you two meals in one day, i-it’s almost like I’m your wife. Oh, what am I saying? Ha ha. I’m so weird. W-What do you think…Kin-chan?”

“I know, I know! I know, so please Shirayuki get going!”

“‘You know?’ K-Kin-chan, a-are you saying that…I’m like your w-wi…” In response to my reply, which I had not even given much thought, Shirayuki went into a panic and looked at me with her face brimming with emotion. …Splash.

Like an old pond…

From the bathroom…

The sound of water.

Inside my chest, my heart jumped and found a new home somewhere near my shoulder.

“Hm? Do you have company?”

“No, there’s no one here but me!” I pushed her along with an arm thrust like a professional sumo wrestler.

“…Kin-chan. Are you hiding something from me?” For some reason, the light vanished from Shirayuki’s eyes and her face became utterly expressionless.

“No! Of course not! I’m not hiding Aria-! I mean anything!”

“…I see. That’s good.” Shirayuki put on a smile as refreshing as a spring breeze and finally turned to leave.

T-thank God. That takes care of “Scylla.” Going back into the apartment, I set the bamboo sprout rice aside and ran into the bathroom.

No time to lose. Now I gotta do something about “Charybdis.”

Considering Aria’s violent nature, if she found out that I came back while she was taking a bath, there was a good chance she’d mercilessly come after me with her guns blazing. I had to take away her pistols and swords. With this single thought in my head, I kneeled down in front of the laundry basket and plunged my hand inside. And at that very instant, Miss Aria opened the door wide from the bathing section.

“……!”

There was a long silence as we stared into each other’s eyes, and that pleasant scent of gardenias wafted into the bathroom. Aria, with her twin pigtails untied and long hair flowing down around her completely adolescent body, uttered a single word.

“P-Pervert…” she said as she covered her breasts with her right arm and her lower half with her left. The goose bumps became visible on her body when she saw my hands buried in her clothes.

“I-It’s not what you think!” I stood up and presented the weapons gripped in my hand to prove my innocence.

Doing so was a mistake.

Being the nervous wreck that I was, I didn’t realize that there was a piece of cloth-like material caught on each of the two swords in my hands. One was dangling from the right sword, and the other was dangling from the left sword. I stood there hoisting Aria’s bra and panties as if they were hand flags, each decorated with a childish pattern of symbols from a deck of cards.

“DIE!!!!”

“Uwaah!”

Aria lunged at me before I had a chance to go into hysteria mode and kicked me at an angle that sent me flying backwards with my arms and legs out in front of me. She retrieved her undergarments, but I desperately held onto her weapons. “You really need to die, you pervert!!” Aria finished by using her other leg to land a flying knee strike in my face. I think my head caved in about ten inches.

Lord.

I just have one question.

What did I ever do? Why did I have to go through this?

One more question. What’s the name of this erotic game my life has turned into?

On second thought, I guess this really isn’t the time to be asking such nonsensical questions.

“Cross this line and you’re dead.”

That’s what was written next to the line which was scribbled on the floor I was looking at from the bottom bunk of a bunk bed. That was obviously written with a marker—a permanent maker.

I looked up reproachfully at the second bunk bed on the other side of the room where a single pigtail was hanging down from the top bunk.

Damn it. I’d love to yank down on that as hard as I can.

“…Hee hee…peach bun pyramid…”

Aria must have been in a deep slumber because she was talking in her sleep and I could hear her drooling.

Man, this is irritating. Pyramid? What the hell is she talking about?

This was my apartment. In a situation like this, there shouldn’t be any need to be considerate to a vicious trespasser, but the fact of the matter was, Aria, who had changed into some light, pink camisole-like pajamas (are those what you call negligee?), was in my bedroom, pistols at the ready. I might have been sleepy, but with Aria having regained possession of her weapons I had no choice but to lie here, resentfully waiting for her to fall asleep first.

The reason there were two bunk beds was because this apartment was originally made to house four people. Naturally, Aria occupied the top bunk of the other bunk bed since it was the farthest away from mine, but I think the booby trap lead wire and the devices resembling anti-personnel landmines that I was seeing on the floor must have been due to a hallucination. That’s what I’m going to believe.

But this girl really is a pain in the butt. She selfishly forces herself into my life, sets up her own territory, and then of all things, orders me to go back to Assault and conduct Butei operations with her. There isn’t anything I particularly want to be in the future. I could be anything. Or I could even be nothing. But I know I don’t want to be a Butei anymore. That’s the one thing I’m definitely not going to be. Feeling rather uneasy, those were the thoughts going through my mind as I was gradually overtaken by sleep.

“Kinji, wake up, you idiot!”

I was woken up by a sudden hammer punch to my stomach and subsequently had a foot planted squarely in my face. That foot in black over-the-knee socks was then promptly twisted back and forth. Light was streaming in through the window. It was morning.

“What are you doing?!” The words came out garbled since I had a foot covering my mouth.

“Breakfast! Hurry up and make it!”

“I’m…not…making…your…breakfast!” I grabbed Aria’s ankle with both hands and lifted her foot off of my face.

“If you don't make me breakfast, I’ll go hungry!”

“So be hungry, you idiot!”

“Idiot?! Someone like you is calling me an idiot?!”

Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?

After dodging an onslaught of punches, I rolled out of bed and darted out of the room the instant I hit the floor.

Why does simply waking up require me to make a daring escape like James Bond?

“I’m hungry! I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry, I’m hungry!”

“If you’ve got enough energy to scream that loud, you don’t need anything to eat!”

While dodging, blocking, and parrying all of Aria’s incoming punches and kicks as she continually griped at me, I got changed, grabbed my cell phone and pistol, and picked up my bag. The whole ordeal reminded me of the hand-to-hand combat training I went through in Assault. When I got to the door, I ducked under a high kick, put on my shoes, and quickly stood up.

“Aria!” With my hand on her smooth, glossy forehead, I held her at arm’s length as she persistently threw punches at me. Thanks to the difference in length in our arms, her punches harmlessly found no other target than the air.

This is good. I think I’ve started to figure out the trick to dodging her attacks. Not that this is something I want to get used to.

“What?” Unable to reach me, Aria calmed down a little bit and looked up at me with a scowl on her face.

“I’m going to wait a few minutes before heading to school. You go on ahead first.”

“Why?”

“For every possible reason. Just try leaving this apartment with me lined up besides you and see what happens. If anyone sees us, it’s gonna be a big headache. This is a men’s dormitory, after all.”

“You’re just trying to come up with a good excuse to get away from me!”

“We’re in the same class, and we sit right next to each other! I can’t get away from you!”

Having said it out loud, I started to lament my misfortune, but it was the truth and there was nothing I could do about it. Aria puffed out her cheeks in discontent.

“Sulking with your face blown up like a balloon isn’t going to help. We’re leaving this apartment separately.”

“I don’t care what you say! You’re not getting away! You're my slave!” Aria grasped my arm with both hands and stood in a way to show how determined she was not going to let me go.

“Let…go…of…me, you little…!”

“Gah!”

Chomp!

Would you believe it? Aria bared that tooth of hers at me and bit into my hand.

“Ow, ow, ow, ow!”

What are you, a lion cub?

Wrenching my hand out of Aria’s mouth, I looked at my wristwatch and saw that it was seven fifty-four.

Crap. I’m gonna miss the seven fifty-eight bus. This isn’t the time to be screwing around. Starting today, I’m never going to miss that bus again. After all, my bicycle was reduced to scrap metal.

“My God, you are the biggest pest ever!”

With no other choice, I left the apartment dragging Aria, who was still clinging onto my arm, behind me.

This girl’s such a nuisance! A huge nuisance! A colossal nuisance! God damn! But she has this nice sweet and sour fragrance about her! It’s so annoying! This is bad. I can’t let things go on like this. My everyday life is currently falling apart because of this incomprehensible “Aria invader”. If I’m going to fulfill my goal of becoming an Average Joe, first I have to reclaim my peaceful lifestyle.

Therefore, I spent all of my time after fourth period devising a plan to deal with Aria. From first through fourth period, general education classes were conducted at Butei High just like any other high school, and from fifth period on, each student went through training in his or her own specialized courses. Aria was probably at Assault, participating in combat training right about now. While she was busy with that, I decided to go somewhere she wouldn’t be able to find me and work on preparations for a resistance movement. To that end, for the first time in a long time, I went to Inquesta to accept an assignment, which would allow me to leave school grounds.

“Kin--ji.”

Upon exiting the building in which the Inquesta department was located, I fell to my knees in despair to see Aria standing there waiting for me. My plan was thwarted before it had even started.

“Why…are you here?!”

“Because you’re here.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Is it okay for you to ditch your Assault class?”

“I already have enough credits to graduate,” Aria said, pulling down her lower eyelid with her index finger and sticking her tongue out at me.

Looking at her, I felt like I was going to faint. A girl—a pretty little girl at that—had been waiting for me outside a school building. This was the situation that all high school guys across the country dreamed about. However, when that girl was a ferocious hellcat who threatened you with twin pistols for every little thing, the situation was admittedly ruined.

“So, what kind of jobs do you usually take?” Aria asked.

“It’s none of your business. They’re simple jobs befitting an E-rank Butei such as myself. Leave me alone.”

After a certain amount of training, Butei High students could immediately accept paid jobs from civilians. If students happened to be at the scene of an incident while they were out in the city, they could resolve that as well. It was the achievements accumulated from these jobs and the scores one earned on various tests that determined what rank, from A to E, a student was given. There was an even higher special rank, S, and it was the rank I was given after taking the entrance exam. Well…it was thanks to be being in hysteria mode that was caused by Shirayuki though.

“You’re an E-rank?”

“That’s right. I didn’t take the final exam in the third semester last year. More to the point, rank doesn’t hold any meaning for me anymore.”

“Yeah, I don’t care about rank, either. But forget about that. Tell me about the job you accepted.”

“I’m not obligated to tell you anything.”

“You want a hole opened inside you?” Aria placed a hand on her pistol with an irritated look on her face.

“I’m…looking for a cat today.”

“A cat?”

“I’m going to look for a cat that got lost in Aomi. It pays one hundred dollars and it’s worth one-tenth of a credit.”

I chose the lowest paying and tedious job I could find posted on Inquesta’s bulletin board. I figured by letting Aria know that straight out, she would lose interest. I was wrong. “Hmm…” she said as she caught up to me when I tried to walk away.

“Stop following me.”

“Don’t worry about me. Just show me how you perform as a Butei.”

“I refuse. Stop following me.”

“Do you hate me that much?”

“I absolutely, positively hate you. Stop following me.”

“If you say ‘Stop following me’ one more time, I’m gonna open a–”

I didn’t want a hole opened inside me, and I no longer had the energy to deny her, so I went to Aomi via monorail with Aria tagging along beside me. Aomi district, which used to be full of warehouses, had gone through redevelopment and was now a stylish city with expensive condominiums and high-end boutiques lined up one after another.

“So? You said you were going to look for a cat, but what kind of deduction are you going to use to find it?”

“None, really. I’m just gonna walk around every place a cat is likely to go. What about you? Why don’t you suggest a plan? If you’re asking me, you must have something in mind.”

“Nope. I’m not good at deduction. It’s kind of weird, but I didn’t inherit his most distinctive trait.” Aria said somewhat listlessly, looking up at me from underneath that well shaped forehead of hers. “Anyways, I’m hungry.”

“Lunch break just ended a little while ago. Didn’t you eat anything?”

“I did, but I’m still hungry,” Aria whined.

This girl sure has poor fuel consumption.

“Treat me to something.”

“You’re gonna start getting in my way already?”

That reminds me…I skipped lunch myself today since I was busy selecting a suitable job. I suppose I can just get her something while I’m at it. Plus I don’t want to get shot at again. Guess I’ll head over to McDonalds.

Being the slave that I was, I went to buy the little princess the Giga Mac Set she requested, and when I got back, she was staring at the well-figured mannequin of a high-class boutique. Aria was looking back and forth between the sparkling sunny dress the mannequin was dressed in and her own body. I chuckled. That look in her eyes. I get it. So she admires that sort thing, huh? With her curve-less body like that of an elementary school student’s she’s gonna have to keep dreaming.

“Hey.”

“Ah.” Turning around, Aria must have been able to discern the traces of a smile on my face. Her cheeks instantly turned red and she starting swinging her fists in the air.

“I-It’s not like that! T-This is what you call being slender! I’m the slender type!”

“I didn’t say a word.”

Leaving her behind, I headed towards the park across the street. After finding a nice bench and placing the McDonald’s bag on top of it, Aria came and plopped down next to it, looking like she had something to say. Her red Butei High skirt rose into the air slightly, giving me a brief glance of the holster underneath it. It was a phenomenon that Muto called “not quite a panty flash but more of a gun flash.” I’m convinced he’s a complete idiot. The female students of Butei High concealed their pistols underneath their skirts, and because it was necessary for them to draw their pistols quickly in an emergency, the skirts they wear were generally short. Aria’s skirt was no exception and was also rather short. But the reason that didn't make me the least bit happy was probably because she had the body of a grade school student.

“Aria, you should put some distance between us when we go around this park looking for the cat.”

“What for?”

The words coming out of our mouths were almost incomprehensible as we spoke to each with our cheeks full of meaty hamburgers.

“Just look around and you’ll see.” I placed my half-empty Giga Cola on the bench and looked around in the direction of what I was referring to.

This park was a constant gathering place for countless young couples. It was close to the ocean, the scenery was pretty, and it was newly made—all of which were factors that made this place a well-known date spot. Of course, the reason I chose to start our search at this park was because it was the only park in Aomi and thus, a place we were likely to find a cat, but I was also hoping Aria would see what kind of place this was and decide not to walk too close to me. It seemed like my calculations were completely off.

“Ah…” Aria saw a couple of lovers, who appeared to be college students, sitting on the bench across from ours and clinging to each other like pieces of a puzzle. For a brief moment, Aria froze up as she held a French fry between her lips like a cigarette. She then switched her gaze from the couple to me, then back towards to the couple again, and one more final time towards me. Aria’s face turned bright red.

This girl blushes too easily.

“Unhh…Unh!” Aria groaned.

Upon seeing a coupled walk past us holding onto each other’s arms, Aria became further unsettled and crossed her arms. It was as if she wanted to be certain there was no chance her arms could link up with mine.

“See? You should probably head back to school, Aria. If we walk around together in a place like this, people are going to be convinced we’re dating again. I don’t want to attract any attention. It’ll cause problems for you as well if a guy you like happens to be around and misunderstands.”

“There isn’t a guy I like!” Aria’s ruby colored eyes were open wide as she made a display of that anime voice of hers.

“T-T-There isn’t! I couldn’t care less about r-romance! It’s just a waste of time! I honestly don’t care! I’m serious!”

…Don’t overreact so much. You’re not a kid.

Apparently, Aria was quite the sensitive type when it comes to conversations about love and romance. I’ve found one of her weaknesses.

“But you don’t want your friends to get any weird ideas, do you?”

“Hmph! I don’t have any friends. I don’t need ’em. If people want to start gossiping, just let them. Who cares what other people say?”

Aria tried to hide her embarrassment by sticking the straw of her Giga Cola in her mouth and taking a long, hard sip.

“Well, I do agree with you about not being concerned with other people, but there is one thing I want to say.”

“What?”

“That’s my Cola.”

Aria spit out the Cola that was about to make its way down her throat.

That’s gross. This is a “beautiful yet bashful high school girl”?

As I looked at her, she responded by blushing again.

“You pervert!” Aria then threw a punch at me, knocking me off the bench—an unreasonable outcome, no matter how you look at it.

Evening.

We finally found the lost cat we had been searching for. It was at the waterfront near the edge of the park. Specifically, it was some sort of ditch or canal. Crying softly, the cat had all the characteristics mentioned in the documents I was given, and was wearing the small bell that could be seen in the picture I was provided as well. It was definitely the cat I was after.

“Okay, little one. Be a good kitty...”

The cat, which was inside a garbage can that had fallen into the canal, mustered up all the strength it could and hissed threateningly at me as I drew near.

Don’t be like that. I’m not your enemy. I’m here to save you.

I stuck my hands into the pile of crumpled papers and empty cans and pulled out the kitten, which had its fur standing on end.

“That a girl. Aren’t you happy? You’re safe now.”

I wonder if my smile, which I hadn’t put on my face for some time, was awkward and unpleasant to look at. As soon as the kitten’s eyes met mine, it cried out and struggled to get away.

“H-Hey… W-Whoa!”

Still holding the cat in my hands, I spectacularly fell over backwards into the shallows of the canal. My saving grace was that I left my cell phone and pistol on the bank just in case.

“That’s odd…” Aria said to herself. I noticed Aria sigh as she looked down at me from atop the tetra pods she was sitting on.

I received one-tenth of a credit for finding the lost cat and the day came to an end.

“Riko.”

I had sent Riko an e-mail asking her to meet me, and there she was, waiting in the greenhouse in front of the girls’ dormitory. By greenhouse, I mean a huge vinyl greenhouse that’s always deserted and convenient for meeting someone in secret.

“Kii-kuuun!” Near the rose garden, Riko spun around and greeted me.

Riko was just about as small as Aria, but she belonged to what you would call the “pretty little girl” category. She had two large sparkling eyes and her wavy hair was done in dog ears. It was an audacious hairstyle that incorporated twin pigtails into the long, soft hair flowing onto her back.

“Still wearing that custom made uniform, I see. What is that white fluffy mess?”

“It’s the Butei High school uniform arranged in a white Lolita fashion! Kii-kun, you really need to memorize all the different Lolita styles.”

“No thanks. Geez, exactly how many uniforms do you have?”

While watching Riko start counting with her fingers all the different types of custom-made uniforms she had, from my bag, I pulled out a paper bag that I used to carefully hide some video game software.

“Riko, look at me. Listen, keep this a secret from Aria.”

“Oh, you got it!” Riko stood to attention and saluted with both hands.

I handed her the paper bag with a bitter expression on my face and she ripped it to shreds in the process of opening it while breathing so heavily through her nose that it was audible.

She’s just like a wild animal.

“Oh my God! It’s, White and Black, The Tale of White Clover, and My Goth!” Riko cried out.

Riko was jumping up and down waving the R-15 games around in both hands. They were basically girl games that a person couldn’t purchase unless they were fifteen years old. You could assume as much from her outfit, but Riko was an otaku. However, what set her apart from the average otaku is the fact that she had an unusual interest in girl games, despite being a girl. She showed an especially strong obsession for games in which the heroine wore the same frilly, fluffy clothing as she did. Of course, Riko was fifteen years old herself, so she was capable of buying these games. But she was complaining to me the other day about how she couldn’t buy an R-15 game at the video shop, which also served as a game shop here on Academy Island. Apparently, the girl working there judged her to be a middle school student after seeing how short she was. That’s why I went and bought them for her. It was dreadfully embarrassing, and I’m sure the salesgirl misunderstood my intentions, but it was necessary if I were going to come up with some countermeasures to deal with Aria.

Why did Aria want to make me her slave, anyway? That’s the first mystery I needed to solve in order to get rid of her. If there was some definite reason, I had to do something about it as soon as possible. And since Aria wouldn’t tell me what that reason is, I had no choice but to deal with the matter by doing a thorough investigation on her and making my own deductions. The outcome of the battle between two Butei would be determined by the information that each had on one another.

“Ah…I don’t need this one or this one. I hate these types.”

Huh? I could have sworn these were all the kind of games she likes. With a perturbed expression on her face, Riko gave me back My Goth Two and Three, the sequels.

“Why? These are the same as the others aren’t they?”

“No. Two and Three are profanations. They’re an insult to the original and don’t deserve to have the same title.”

…This girl sure has bizarre reasons for getting upset.

“Well…whatever. In that case, I’ll give you all the games except for the sequels. In exchange, be sure to tell me everything about your investigation on Aria, just like what we discussed the other day.

“You got it!”

Riko was an idiot—an undeniable idiot. But what I found out at Inquesta was that while she may be an idiot, she did have one redeeming quality. Riko, who in addition to being an Internet addict, also had other hobbies truly fitting for a Butei such as spying on others, eavesdropping, and hacking, making her exceptionally adept at gathering information. You could say she was a modern intelligence thief. Apparently, that’s the reason she’s a rank-A Butei.

“Alright then, let’s get on with it. I had to pretend to go to the bathroom and escape through the window using the wire in my belt to rappel down to get here. It’s only a matter of time before Aria realizes and comes to detain me.”

I took a look around me and sat down on a railing just high enough to put my foot on.

Riko put the games away inside her clothing and sat down beside me with a small hop. Her feet didn’t reach the floor, and she swung them back and forth.

“Say Kii-kun, are you being henpecked by Aria? She’s your girlfriend, so if you want to know about her profile, you should just ask her directly yourself.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“What? Rumor has it you two are a bona-fide couple. The Aria fan club is in an uproar saying they’re going to kill you because you were seen leaving the dorm hand–in-hand with Aria in the morning. Roaar!”

“You don’t have to make horns with your fingers.”

Hand in hand? Must’ve been that morning. I was just dragging her along because she wouldn’t let go of me…

“So how far have you two gone?”

“What do you mean ‘how far’”?

“X-rated stuff.”

“We haven’t don’t anything like that you, numbskull!”

“Oh, come on! You two are a healthy, young couple!” All smiles, Riko nudged me in the ribs with her elbow.

“…You’re always taking the conversation in that direction. It’s a bad habit of yours.”

“Phooey.”

“Let’s get down to business already. Information on Aria…let’s start by having you tell me about her evaluation at Assault.”

“Okie-dokie. Hmm…as far her rank, she’s S. You could count the number of second year students with an S-rank using one hand.”

To be honest, what she just said didn’t surprise me. All I had to do was recall the way she handled herself during the bicycle-jacking. Her abilities were obviously on a completely different scale from most others.

“She’s smaller than I am, but she’s also skilled at hand-to-hand combat. The styles she specializes in range from boxing to grappling techniques. Anything goes. She’s basically a Vale…Vale…Vale ti…”

“Vale Tudo?”

“Yeah, that’s it. She can use that. In England, it’s shortened to just ‘Valetsu.’”

I recalled the moment when I was thrown by Aria in the gym storehouse. It was certainly impressive, that’s for sure. I was in hysteria mode, yet the most I could do was perform a defensive fall.

“Her skill with pistols and knives is on a genius level. She uses two of each. That girl is ambidextrous.”

“I know.”

“Well, do you know the other name she goes by?”

A nickname, huh? Butei who were capable could pride themselves on an abundance of achievements naturally come to have nicknames. Aria already had a nickname at the mere age of sixteen? I made an expression that said I had no idea, and Riko smiled proudly.

“Aria the Quadra.”

Quadra.

In Butei terms, using twin pistols or twin swords was called “double.” It stemmed from the English word “double”, so by analogy, her nickname probably meant someone who uses four weapons.

“Isn’t that funny? ‘Quadra.’” Riko said.

“I’m not really sure where you see the humor in it, but…whatever. What else? Tell me about how Aria has performed as a Butei. What merits has she achieved?”

“Ah, I found out some pretty amazing stuff about that. She’s on a leave of absence right now, but since the age of fourteen, Aria’s been serving as a Butei of the London Bureau of Butei, and she was active all over Europe.” Switching to a slightly more serious tone of voice, Riko looked up at me with her big eyes. “They say that during that period, she never once let a criminal escape from her.”

“Never…once?”

“She’s arrested every person she’s ever set her sights on. It’s happened ninety-nine times in a row. Not only that, but she caught them all on her first assault.”

“What? Are you serious?

Unbelievable.

In most cases, when the job of arresting a criminal fell to a Butei, it was because the criminal became too much for the police to handle, so the task was thrust upon us. The Butei would persistently hunt them down (this was called an “assault” using Butei terminology) until they finally arrested the perpetrator. But succeeding ninety-nine times in a row and all on the first attempt… That’s the kind of monster I’ve got chasing after me? Just thinking about it was about to send me into a fit of depression, so I decided to change the subject.

“Uhh…what else? How about personal details?”

“Let’s see. Her father is half-British and half-Japanese.”

“So she’s a quarter Japanese.”

No wonder both her hair and eyes are red, and she has big, bright eyes, uncommon for a Japanese person. I mean, her name is Aria H. Kanzaki.

“That’s right. And her middle name, which starts with “H”, is the family name of her British relatives. They seem to be a very renowned family. Her grandmother has the title of Dame.”

“Dame?”

“It’s a title the royal family of England bestows to people. Men who are bestowed a decoration are given the title, ‘Sir’. Women are given the title, ‘Dame’.”

“Hold up. That means she’s an aristocrat.”

“Yup. A real noblewoman. But from the looks of things, Aria isn’t getting along well with her “H” relatives. That’s why she doesn’t like mentioning her middle name. I know what it is though. That family is a bit…well…”

“Tell me. I gave you the games.”

“You know, I really hate people who reap the benefits just because of their parent’s influence. If you search the British web sites, I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

“English isn’t my forte.”

“Give it your best!” said Riko, who attempted to pat me on the back but missed and slapped my wrist instead. “Oh?”

As a result, my wristwatch came off and landed near my feet. I stooped to pick it up and found that the clasp of the metal band had broken.

“Ah! I-I’m sorry!”

“It was a cheap watch. No big deal. I bought it for twenty bucks at Odaiba.”

“No, let me fix it! I’ll make it as good as new! If anyone finds out I broke something that belongs to a client, it’ll affect my credibility!” Riko yanked the watch from out of my hand, and pulling down on the collar of her blouse she placed the watch securely between her cleavage.

Whoa.

I averted my eyes.

T-Those were pretty large…

“Kinji? Anything else you want to know?”

“…Uh, no, that’ll do.”

I didn’t want to go into hysteria mode in front of a girl, and things would probably get complicated if she realized I saw her breasts. Therefore, I took my leave and left the greenhouse behind me. Gold, huh? This world sure has a lot of different colored undergarments.

I returned to my apartment and looked out the window at Academy Island, which was tinted gold by the setting sun. This Mega-Float, consisting of nothing but Butei High, the dormitories, and some stores geared towards students, was purchased relatively cheaply, as it was originally a failed attempt at redeveloping Tokyo Bay. As proof, there was another Mega-Float with the exact same shape on the other side of Rainbow Bridge directly to the north. It was still just vacant land and thus, dubbed “Empty Island.” The blades of wind turbines that were built on the southern edge of that deserted Mega-Float idly spun in circles.

Yup. It sure is peaceful. I’m rather partial to this scenery.

“Typhoon No. 1, which appeared over the Pacific Ocean, has yet to weaken and is now making its way north through Okinawa.”

The LCD television broadcasted the news, only helping to make the comfortable silence in the room more noticeable.

Ahh, this is such a nice apartment.

With the exception of the fact that a girl is inside it.

“What are you just standing there for?” Aria tilted her head to the side as she sat on the sofa looking at me with a mirror in her hand.

She must have been looking for split ends to pass the time. To finish up, she lifted her bangs and fastened them down with a silver barrette, displaying her forehead. It was a somewhat childish looking barrette, but it suited her cute-small demeanor. She’s probably aware that her smooth, glossy forehead is her most attractive feature.

“How did you get in here?”

I had a feeling it was a dumb question, but I asked anyway as a way of protest.

“I am a Butei, you know.” See? Dumb question. She probably forged a card key to this apartment. Opening locked doors is the most basic of Butei skills, after all.

“Did you plan on just leaving a lady waiting outside the door? That’s unforgiveable.”

“A person who lashes out at others when she’s the one in the wrong isn’t called a lady, you GBF.”

“GBF?”

“It means ‘girl with a big forehead.’”

“You don’t understand the appeal of my forehead?! You truly are a failure as a human being,” Aria said, sticking her tongue out at me.

Oh, I understand. The truth is I understand very well. You’re cute alright. But only visually. “This forehead is my charm point. It's even been featured in a hairstyle magazine for girls in Italy.”

Aria turned her back to me and seemed to be enjoying herself as she looked at her forehead in the mirror. She even started humming. In order to have her take notice of the bad mood I was in, I threw my bag in her direction, sending it flying past her on the side. But Aria, too, had grown accustomed to our little squabbles and simply continued to gaze happily at her forehead.

“That’s a noblewoman for you—always careful to make sure you look your best,” I said sarcastically as I turned my back on her and headed to the lavatory.

“…You did some checking-up on me, didn’t you?” Aria said in a surprisingly happy tone.

“Yeah. Apparently you really haven’t let a single criminal escape you.”

“Oh? You’ve really done your homework. Now you’re looking more like a Butei. But…” Aria leaned her back against the wall and made a little kicking motion with her foot. “The other day, I let one get away from me. It was the first time ever.”

“Oh, is that so? The person must have been quite formidable. Who did you let escape?”

Well, well. Looks like there was a mistake in Riko’s information.

I filled a cup with water from the faucet and started to gargle.

“You.”

The water came spraying out of my mouth.

Me?! Oh, she’s talking about our scuffle after the bicycle-jacking incident!

“I’m not a criminal! Why are you including me?!”

“You were guilty of indecent assault…against me! Are you going to pretend it never happened after the way you attacked me like a beast?! You worm!”

From slave to beast to worm—my regression knows no bounds.

“I told you, that was out of my control! And I didn’t go as far as you say, anyway!”

“Oh, shut up! Just shut up! In any case…!” Aria pointed at me with her face as red as ever. “You might have the potential to become my slave! Come back to Assault and show me the skill you displayed when you ran away that time!”

“That was…at that time…I just happened to get away by chance. You do realize I’m an E-ranked guy, who’s not capable of much, don't you? Sorry to disappoint you. Now leave.”

“You liar! Your rank was S when you took the entrance exam!”

Uh-oh. So that’s how she’s gonna respond, huh?

The outcome of a battle between Butei was determined by the information at their disposal. If Aria was aware of my rank, that was going to make things difficult.

“In other words, what you did didn’t happen by just pure chance! My intuition is never wrong!”

“A-anyway, I can’t do it now! So leave!”

“‘Now’? Does that mean there’s some sort of conditions that need to be met? Tell me. I’ll cooperate with you.”

Upon hearing that, I was the one who turned red.

You’ll cooperate, huh?

Naturally, Aria didn’t know what triggers my hysteria mode, so she offered her help straightforwardly, but the remark had an explosive effect on me. After all, what she was basically saying was that she would make me sexually aroused!

“Tell me! Tell me what needs to be done! I’ll assist you as compensation for being my slave!”

“……!”

I couldn’t help it. All sorts of images of Aria “assisting” me surfaced in my head. It’s kind of late at this point, but when I think about it, Aria and I are all alone in this apartment…and without realizing it the sun had set, leaving the two of us in a dimly lit room with the lights turned off.

What? No, don’t. Stop thinking.

“I’ll do whatever you want! Tell me…just tell me, Kinji…!”

Aria came up next to me, and that scent like gardenias tickled my nose once again. I…

“Ngh…”

This is taking a turn for the worse.

Because of the unnecessary thoughts entering my head, I was starting to go into hysteria mode. I wonder if this is what’s called the power of one’s eyes. Aria’s round eyes, red as a camellia, looked so pretty…so cute… I was struck by that sensation again—that sensation of boiling blood filling the very core of me body.

Not again. I don't want to become “that.” I don’t want to enter that mode!

“…!”

Unconsciously, I thrust Aria away from me. She let out a small cry in that anime-like voice and fell to the couch, landing on her rear end. I just barely managed to avert my eyes in time as her short skirt flew high into the air. With things having come this far, I had no choice, so I made the decision to raise the white flag.

“…Just once.”

“Just once?”

I wouldn’t be surrendering unconditionally though. I was going to add a condition.

“I’ll go back. I’ll go back to Assault. But I’m only going to partner with you once. I’ll help you resolve the first case that turns up after I return to Assault, but only that one case. Those are my terms.”

“…”

“So I won’t be switching departments. I’ll be auditing an Assault course. You’re fine with that, right?”

Turning around to face Aria, who had just finished tidying up her skirt, I could see that she was contemplating my offer as she pointed her well-shaped forehead at me.

At Butei High, students could take specialized courses offered by divisions aside from the one they were enrolled in. This was called auditing, and students didn’t receive any credit, but in order to become a Butei, which required the knowledge of a multitude of techniques, students were fairly active in taking courses taught at various divisions. The great Butei, Aria wanted her own slave…er, pawn. She wanted one badly. And she set her sights on me, because I managed to escape from her in hysteria mode. “I might be able to use this guy as a capable slave,” is probably what she was thinking. There wasn't much I could do about this. If I were to compare the situation to a game of Old Maid, it would be like a card that Aria already took away from me. I did still have one card hidden up my sleeve, however—hysteria mode. All I had to do was show Aria what the average me was normally capable of before she found out the details of this attribute of mine. If I could do that, Aria would be disappointed in me since I couldn’t do anything all that spectacular, and she’ll probably distance herself from me.

“…All right. I’ll go ahead and leave this apartment then.”

The colossal thorn in my side accepted my conditions and finally announced that she would be leaving.

“I don’t have a lot of time myself. I’ll determine how skilled you are during that one case.”

“…Only one, regardless of how simple it might be.”

“Okay. And in exchange, you have to see it through until the end, regardless of how complicated it might be.”

“Fine.”

“But if you hold back or cut any corners, I’ll open a hole in you.”

“Right. I’ll give it everything I’ve got. I promise.”

Everything I’ve got while I’m the normal me, that is.