Rejection and Persuasion

Rejection and Persuasion

Rejection and Persuasion

The High Bishop summoned a gray priest to carry me back to the medical room, and this time the shrine maiden stayed behind so that I wouldn’t leave unsupervised. As a result I was forced to use the bathroom with her watching and cleaning up after me. It was so embarrassing I almost cried. I felt so bad about it that I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. If I was strong enough to bury myself in the blankets and roll around I would have, but I wasn’t.

I stretched out on top of the bed and stared at the ceiling, despairing over my incompetence until eventually Lutz came to see me. The sight of me being watched over in such a fancy room caught him off guard and he rushed to the bed immediately.

“What did you do, Myne?!”

“Ummm, I went looking for water, and... collapsed.” I lifted my head up and summarized what had happened. Lutz narrowed his eyes and shook his head, arms crossed.

“That can’t be everything. Spit it all out.”

“Ngh... Ummm, I found a book room, and got really excited...”

“What’s a book room, exactly?”

“A paradise given to us by the gods. Or in other words... A room full of books.”

“Aaah... Alright, that’s enough. I can guess the rest.” Lutz put a hand on his forehead and waved me away with his other hand. That was the end of that, so I grabbed my hairpin so that we could leave.

“You didn’t tell him the most important part. This young lady collapsed after forcing her way into a meeting with the High Bishop,” added the shrine maiden with a shrug, having listened in to our conversation. Lutz paled and then pinched my cheeks, pulling them.

“How could you be so dumb?!”

“Sorry. I know I got a little too excited.”

It would have been better if I had proceeded more cautiously after thinking things through, but ultimately I had forged a path towards becoming a shrine maiden and been given the opportunity to read the bible inside the High Bishop’s room. I knew I messed up, but I didn’t regret what I had done.

“We’re going home before you do anything else.” Lutz carried me out of the temple on his back with the shrine maiden’s exit. Dad was waiting for us in front of the temple garden, looking frustrated.

“It seems someone came to get you. I will take my leave, then.”

“Thank you for your help.” I moved over to Dad’s back and we started going home. As I listened to Lutz report to Dad what happened today, the steady up and down shaking of being carried encouraged me to sleep.

“I’m gonna sign my contract at the store before going home,” said Lutz, snapping me back to reality. We were in front of the Gilberta Company, but naturally I wasn’t in a state to drop by. Lutz and I split up so he could go inside to report what had happened and sign his apprentice contract. Before Dad and I left, though, Mark came outside to greet us. I waved at him while still on Dad’s back.

“Thanks for today, Mr. Mark. I’m a bit too weak to go inside right now, but I’ll be back.”

“Take care of yourself.”

“Lutz, don’t mess up the contract.”

“Yeah. Get some rest.” I waved goodbye to Lutz and Mark, then went home with Dad.

We finished lunch, somewhat fancier than what we ate usually for celebratory reasons, and as we all drank tea together I looked at Dad. I had to talk to him about how I wanted to become an apprentice shrine maiden.

“Um, Dad.”

“Yeah?” Dad took a sip of tea, in a good mood.

“I think I want to be an apprentice shrine maiden, at the temple.”

The second I said that, Dad’s smile vanished. He then slammed his cup against the table so hard it shook. I flinched as the tea flew out of the cup and splashed onto the table.

“...What was that? Say it again.” Dad’s voice was so low and intense that I blinked in surprise. His anger and disgust was so apparent my heart started beating faster.

“...An apprentice shrine maiden, at the temple.”

“Don’t joke around! I wouldn’t send my daughter to the friggin’ temple.”

“D-Dad. Why are you so mad?” I could only blink in confusion at Dad’s sudden change in attitude. I had expected him to oppose this, but I really couldn’t imagine why he was so furious with disgust.

“Only orphans become priests and shrine maidens! Orphans don’t have parents or guardians, so they have to become them. They have no choice. You’re different!”

“Only orphans become shrine maidens?”

“Yeah, and priests. You have parents and family. You’re not becoming a shrine maiden. Don’t bring this up again!”

I could only sit in shock, stunned at Dad’s extreme response. But at the same time, I could understand where he was coming from. I had noticed some things were off back at the temple. The High Bishop had been surprised that someone would “willingly” want to become a shrine maiden, and the apparent wealth of my family had thrown him off.

“Gunther, you don’t have to be so harsh. Myne just didn’t know.”

“...Yeah, you’re right.” Dad took deep breaths to calm his frustration and ruffled my hair.

Mom started wiping up the tea while looking at me curiously. “Still, though. Why would you ever want to be a shrine maiden, Myne?”

It was clear that both Mom and Dad were heavily biased against priests and shrine maidens. I had thought both were honorable and respected professions, so to be honest, I was really surprised.

“Well, when I collapsed in the temple, I got lost looking for water.”

“You were in some waiting room, right? There should’ve been water right outside of it.” Dad, having heard the same thing from Lutz, rubbed his chin. It was true that waiting rooms for commoners tended to have water near them. But I had to shake my head.

“...My outfit was so fancy, they actually thought I was the daughter of a rich family and took me to the kind of room a merchant with a noble’s letter of introduction would go. There wasn’t any water nearby.”

“Ah, yeah, can’t help that with an outfit like yours.” Dad nodded repeatedly. Mom and Tuuli both understood as well.

“While I was lost, I ended up in a part of the temple meant for nobles.”

Both of my parents paled. We lived in a stratified society where those of different statuses were kept thoroughly separate. If I had gotten lost and annoyed a noble, that could have meant the end of our lives right then and there.

“A shrine maiden found me first, so I never met a noble, but I did find a book room. It was filled with books. I wanted to read them so, so bad, but I couldn’t go inside...”

“Books, huh?” Dad’s eyebrow twitched.

“I asked how I could get inside, and they told me I needed to become an apprentice shrine maiden...”

“And you decided to become one without thinking at all, huh? Sheesh. Give up on those books. Just keep trying to make them like you have been.”

I couldn’t believe that Dad was telling me to give up on the books I had been dedicating my whole life to obtain. I just stared at him. He was looking at me with a deadly serious expression, not a smile in sight.

“Which do you want more? Cutting off your family and living life in an orphanage to read books, or keeping on living with us like you have been?”

My head went white. Books or my family, pick one. I wanted to live with my family as long as possible before my Devouring killed me. I wanted to use some of that time to make and read books if possible.

But I had found a room of books and got super excited at the opportunity to potentially read real books. I wanted to become a shrine maiden to enter the room, that was all. I didn’t understand why I would have to cut off my family.

“...Cut you off? Why?” My voice was shaking and barely audible.

Dad gave a heavy nod. “Apprentice shrine maidens live in the temple. The work is hard and the orphans only get help from each other. You would never last there with your Devouring. What job could you do when you’re so bad at managing your health you collapse during a ceremony? Not to mention, books are expensive. They’re so rare that they use magic tools or whatever to protect them from strangers in the temple. You think they would let you read them right away just ’cause you’d be an apprentice?”

Everything Dad said was right. I had no room for arguing. I knew in my head that it would be impossible for me to become a shrine maiden apprentice. But I didn’t want to give up after seeing all of those books.

I bit my lip to hold back my tears and Tuuli held my hand. With tears brimming in my eyes, I squeezed her hand.

“Why do you want to be a shrine maiden that much? You promised to stay with us. Do you want to be one so much you’d break your promise with me?” said Tuuli, driving a stake through my heart. I weakly shook my head, feeling the strength draining from my body.

“...No. I just want to read the books I saw. I don’t want to be a shrine maiden or anything, I just want in that room.”

Becoming a shrine maiden apprentice was a means to an end, not the end itself. It wasn’t important enough to me to hurt my family and cut myself off from them. My answer made Tuuli beam a smile, but I could tell she was still anxious.

“That’s a relief. Myne... You’ll stay with me, right? You promised, right?”

“Mhm. Once I get better, I’ll... I’ll tell the Arch Bishop I changed my mind.”

Dad sighed in relief and give me a tight hug. “I’m glad you understand. You’re my precious daughter. I’m not handing you over to the temple.”

On the one hand, I was glad that I wouldn’t have to cut my family off, but the moment the door leading to a future in the book room shut firmly I felt the Devouring heat start boiling within me.

“Myne, feels like you’re getting a fever.”

“She already collapsed several times today, remember? The stress of this conversation just caught up to her. Let her sleep.”

My parents took me to bed and I gently closed my eyes while feeling the Devouring heat spread through me.

...I never would have thought that I’d pick something else over books. My entire life up until now had been focused around books. All choices led to books. Back in my Urano days, I would have chosen books in an instant and cut myself off from my family. No matter the cost, books came first. And yet I hadn’t been able to pick books here. I had thought my family was only so important to me because I lacked books, but at some point they had become just as important as books to me.

...But still, I had finally found books. I wanted to read them. I couldn’t pick books over my family, but I couldn’t abandon books either. The pressure of being pinched between two desires made it hard for me to bottle up the heat like I usually did. The Devouring heat rapidly spread through my body, as if mocking my weak mental state. I felt frustrated at things not working like they usually did and started thinking of a compromise between my family and books.

...Is there any way to read the books without becoming an apprentice shrine maiden? The High Bishop’s attitude flipped around when I mentioned my donation, so maybe he’ll give me permission to enter the book room if I saved up some more money? I don’t like the idea of using money to control people, but I have to do what I have to do. Or maybe I should just be satisfied with going to the High Bishop’s room and just reading the bible there?

In the end, it took two full days for me to push the Devouring heat back down. I could finally get out of bed once my fever went down, but my body still felt heavy. I would probably get better after another day of rest since I had bottled up the Devouring heat.

Lutz came to check on me and scrunched up his face after seeing how I looked. “You’re still looking sick. Benno wants to talk to you, but looks like that’s not gonna happen today.”

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow, Lutz? I want to go to the temple and then go to Benno’s store afterwards,” I asked, making Lutz tilt his head a bit.

“The temple? Sure, but why?”

“I want to read the bible there. While I’m there, I’ll tell them I don’t want to be an apprentice shrine maiden anymore.”

“Huh? Apprentice shrine maiden? Where’s that coming from?”

Right. The shrine maiden had told Lutz that I forced my way into a meeting with the High Bishop, but not about what I had been asking about.

“I told you I found a book room during the ceremony, right? Only people involved with the temple can enter it, so I wanted to join the temple. I was told becoming an apprentice shrine maiden would be the fastest way to do that, so I jumped at the opportunity.”

“That’s dumber than me wanting to be a traveling merchant, y’know? Be a little more realistic. Aren’t you the one who taught me not to charge ahead without thinking? To try and find a more realistic path forward instead?”

Lutz had transformed from a boy yearning for impossible dreams to a boy chasing after his dreams with his feet planted firmly in reality. His words stabbed into my chest.

“...I was just thinking this would be the fastest way for me to get books.”

“Yeah, you always stop thinking when books get involved. I’m thinking you should stop going to the temple at all. You’re just gonna keep getting disappointed and that’s not good for you. Won’t that make your Devouring heat go wild?”

“I just managed to push back the Devouring heat by thinking about how I at least get to read the bible.”

Lutz looked at me with a conflicted expression, then smiled and patted my head. “Worked out a compromise, huh? I didn’t think you’d ever give in with books on the line. You did good. If going to the temple’s all you need, that’s fine with me. Not like you’re healthy enough to work in the temple anyway.”

“Mhm, I know that.”

The next day, Lutz and I went to the temple. We wore our new apprentice clothes since we would be going to Benno’s store. The area around the temple was fairly fancy, too, so I figured they would be better than our normal clothes all around.

I told the guard my name and that I wanted to see the High Bishop. He must have been informed about me ahead of time as soon a gray priest arrived to guide me through the temple.

“What about you, Lutz? You won’t have anything to do if you come with me. Maybe you should go to Benno’s to study? I’ll go there once I’m done here.”

“I’ll come get you after fifth bell, so just wait here until then. Don’t go wandering off on your own.”

“Okay.” The gray priest took me to the High Bishop’s room, but he was absent. In his stead the blue-robed High Priest greeted me.

He looked to be about as old as Benno and his face was like a carved statue, revealing no emotion whatsoever. He had light gold eyes and pale blue hair that extended to his shoulders. The High Bishop was a little overweight, but the High Priest was very tall and had a slender build. He looked exactly like the kind of skilled leader who could efficiently micromanage hundreds of priests if necessary.

“You are Myne? The High Bishop told me about you. Come inside.”

“Thank you.”

“The High Bishop requested that I read the bible to you until he returns.”

Um... That’s great, but why did he ask the High Priest to do that? Aren’t there more important things for him to be doing? Why would he... Oh, right. The donation money. I was offering to donate so much money that they were probably treating me as a VIP now. My suggested donation really seems to have left an impact on them. I could use this to my advantage. Maybe a little negotiation really could open the way to the book room.

“Please, have a seat.” The High Priest began reading for me at the table, but since he was sitting across from me, I couldn’t see the pages. It seemed they wouldn’t be letting me touch the book itself. I thought for a moment, then hesitantly decided to push my luck.

“Um, High Priest. I don’t just want to hear the stories, I want to read the book too.”

“Why is that? Are you not here to learn more of the gods?”

“I am, but I also want to learn to read new words.”

The High Priest blinked in surprise as if stunned by what I had said. Then, after some thought, he gave a deep nod.

“...Very well. But know that this bible is very precious. Will you swear not to touch it?”

“I will. I promise not to touch it.”

The High Priest sat me onto his lap and continued reading, positioned such that I could read the bible and he could stop me immediately if I tried to touch it. Beautifully written letters covered the pages of parchment, yellowed on the edges where people touched them. I inhaled deeply the scent of old paper and let out a sigh of admiration.

Just as I had expected, the writing had been greatly simplified for the baptism festival. The entire atmosphere was different. I learned new words while the High Priest read aloud from the bible. Nouns and verbs I had wanted to know how to read for so long rained down upon me in an endless torrent of entertainment.

Eventually, I started pointing at words I vaguely recognized (making sure not to touch them) and reading them aloud while the amused High Priest taught me what they meant.