Chapter 4: Waiting for Spring

Lady Anna and my brother returned to work, and Prince Theodore and I launched into a discussion about books.

“You’re asking for a catalog of religions that have spread through the continent’s main highways? If we’re speaking about the period during the empire’s reign, I think Ryzanity is the only one you’ll find. You’re looking for ancient religions like the Gaelga?”

“No, not quite,” I said.

Something was niggling at the back of my mind, and I wasn’t entirely sure what it was when I decided to ask Prince Theodore about it. I figured if anyone would know the answer to my uncertainties, it would be the curator of the royal archives.

“A little bit ago, we spoke about Furya’s Jar and that led to talk about the medical text, Ryza’s Guide. Folk remedies at the time would have had a strong relation to their religion’s doctrine, so I wanted to look into it a bit...”

“Aha.” He nodded, despite my rather vague explanation. “Ryza’s Guide, hm? Then you’ll need a record of the merchants who traveled the highways during the empire’s reign. Those are kept in the vaults. I’ll be back in a moment with them.”

“All right.” I nodded, thanked him for his assistance, and then turned to browse the religious texts.

Strong gusts of wind rattled the glass on a nearby window, drawing my attention, and I struggled to suppress the unease that only continued to swell within me. It had all happened so fast; when the year started, news came of Lord Bernard falling ill, and talks began of Maldura sending a delegation to the capital shortly thereafter. They prefaced it as a courtesy visit to express their gratitude for the assistance we’d offered them when the cold front came through before. I suspected the internal situation there was just as my brother had surmised, but those not privy to such information were understandably shocked and anxious about the arrangement.

Excitement had been mounting in the capital as our spring wedding date approached, but Maldura’s visit had cast a shadow over that anticipation. There was a restlessness in the air as people hurriedly rushed to prepare. The archives felt far removed from all that hustle and bustle, wrapped in tranquility. Yet for as peaceful as this place was, that coil of dread I had fought so hard to erase reappeared, winding tighter and tighter.

Maldura, to our northwest, was a warmongering nation. Thanks to the influence of the neighboring Kai Arg Empire, Ryzanity had proliferated there. Their country had a vast number of mines but the quality of the soil was ill-suited to farming. They relied entirely on their dealings with the empire and trade with the western countries and archipelagos, sending ships through the bay to reach them.

The bay was their only way to reach other countries; Sauslind stood in the way of a direct route to the open sea, and just beyond us stood the Miseral Dukedom. Besides, due to their isolationist policies, Maldura didn’t possess naval expertise. Rather than trying to take on the Miseral Dukedom at sea, they instead proactively launched invasions on Sauslind, which was blessed with fertile land and was also connected to the main highways running through the continent.

During the previous king’s reign, Sauslind and Maldura had gone to war countless times. People were worried that this same pattern would continue, either under the current monarch or his successor. Maldura wasn’t the only one with a thirst for war. The militant faction in Sauslind was more anxious to battle our neighbors than befriend them, though I had openly expressed my condemnation of such actions.

Now that the prince had publicly revealed I had General Bakula backing me, he’d effectively reined in the militant faction. They might have otherwise tried to thwart our attempts at establishing peaceful relations. That was what my brother was trying to explain before. It certainly was an effective way of handling our political opponents—take one of the military powers they believed in and use it to talk them down.

A quiet sigh slipped past my lips.

I understood it would take every method at our disposal to establish peace with a neighbor we’d had hostile relations with for decades. Still, right now I felt utterly powerless. I didn’t want to rely on military might to accomplish my goals, but I was helpless by myself. My opinion alone wouldn’t be enough to stymie the militant faction. Prince Christopher had agreed with my opinions on fostering friendly relations, but in turn, that had caused him enormous hardship and trouble.

Before I could let another sigh spill out, I shook my head.

I have to get myself together. I can’t let my insecurities get the best of me.

I glanced up at the shelves above me and plucked a few volumes I’d had my eye on. There was one more I spotted on a higher shelf, as well. Once I left the palace, I wouldn’t have much time to enjoy reading. It was as though I thought picking these out and studying up on areas of knowledge where I was lacking might somehow erase the budding unease within me.

Standing on the tips of my toes, I stretched as far as I could, but my fingers were frustratingly too short to reach the book I desired, brushing only the tip of its spine. Suddenly, another hand shot out over my head and retrieved it for me.

“Is this the one you wanted?”

My heart jumped into my throat at his unexpected appearance. As I stumbled, he caught me in his arms. Before I could even glance back to meet his gaze, that familiar scent flooded my nose and my pulse quickened.

“Did I surprise you? I’m sorry.”

I looked back to find him smiling gently at me, his blue eyes warm with affection. Blood rushed to my cheeks. “Not at all... Thank you, Your Highness.”

The prince always kept his guard up in public. Even when wielding that sword earlier, he’d had a bold, impenetrable smile on his face. As he stood before me now, he looked completely different. His golden hair had been neatly combed through, and the collar of his shirt was properly folded. The grace and composure he displayed made it impossible to imagine he’d been drenched with sweat before. His smile was so handsome it would send any woman’s heart pounding.

Even I thought it was high time I grew accustomed to his appearance and stopped acting so flustered. Every time I saw him, my heart would start pounding no matter how much I willed it not to. The novelty of it remained the same as when I first discovered my feelings for him.

I accepted the book from him and tried to move away, but the hand that had supported me moments ago kept a firm hold. He slid his arms further around me, wrapping me in his embrace. I tried to say his name but the words died on my lips. I could tell he had no intention of letting me go.

His voice was soft and quiet as he said, “You had such a troubled look on your face. If something is bothering you, talk to me about it.”

I wondered how long he’d been watching me for. I felt so embarrassed and awkward that I couldn’t say anything. Worse yet, my mind went blank when I realized we were pressed so closely together that he could feel my pulse.

He chuckled. “Am I troubling you again?”

“N-No...”

Obviously, my answer wasn’t entirely truthful, and he laughed again before releasing me. As he moved away, he took his warmth and smell with him. I grabbed his arm without thinking.

“Eli?”

I jumped with surprise as I realized what I’d done, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to leave, so I kept hold of his arm.

Still standing behind me, he chuckled again, sounding genuinely happy this time as he pulled me back into his arms. I could feel his lips press down against the top of my head. “The political world has been restless since the year began. I haven’t been able to take much time to rest because of that. If I’ve made you anxious as a result, I apologize.”

“Not at all.” I juggled the books I was carrying in one hand so I could use the other to caress the arm he had wrapped around my waist. The tension left my body as I felt the reassuring rhythm of his heartbeat against my back. “The reason the political world has been in such a state is partially because of me.”

“You’re talking about Maldura?”

I sucked in a breath, unable to say anything.

His gentle voice turned firm as he said, “Hey, Eli... You’re not going to cheat on me, are you?”

“What?!” I squeaked back, sounding like Jean had earlier. I whipped my head around to look at the prince, but his arms only tightened around me. “Wh-Why would you ask something like that?”

“Hmm...” His voice sounded eerily serious as he continued, “I have a bad feeling, that’s all. There’s a high probability that cretin will come along with the rest of Maldura’s delegation. General Bakula also said he wanted to choose your partner from his Black Wing Knights. Then there’s your first love whom I knew nothing about.”

“G-Grandpa Teddy wasn’t being serious, I’m sure. A-And I’m not really sure what my first love has to do with any of this.”

“No,” he said very decisively, with a gravity that implied this was a national concern. “This is a very alarming issue, Eli.”

“Huh...?”

Is it truly?

As the prince’s betrothed, did possible marriage talks from the past have any impact now? I couldn’t recall any princesses from history encountering issues because of their first loves.

While my mind spun in circles trying to decipher the meaning of his words, the prince finally burst out laughing behind me. That cooled my head instantly.

“Your Highness...” My voice was chillingly cold.

His arms squeezed around me. “Sorry, Eli. You are always so serious about everything. I couldn’t help myself.”

I’d noticed this before, but the prince had a sadistic side to him at times.

While I felt increasingly disgruntled by his teasing, I heard a small chuckle trickle into my ear as he said, “I wasn’t being entirely dishonest though. Your first love has been weighing on my mind. I thought I knew everything there was to know about you.”

Those words stabbed me right in the chest. I squeezed his hand in mind. “I felt the same way. That was my first time seeing you act so close with anyone besides Lord Glen. Though when I thought about it, it shouldn’t have been all that surprising...”

Since becoming his fiancée, I had spent a lot of private moments with the prince outside of our royal duties. I knew who he was and wasn’t open with, what policies and principles he advocated for, and what future he envisioned for our country. I knew he had a habit of thinking two or three steps ahead of everyone else. Spending every day at his side, I thought of myself as almost part of his inner circle—that I knew everything there was to know about him. However, there was no way you could know everything there was to know about a person. How could you when you were two completely different people?

I stood up straight and glanced behind me, expression earnest. “It’s also weighing on my mind, actually. How did you, Lord Ian, and the rest of the Black Wing Knights become acquainted? How did you spend your time before the two of us became engaged? I want to know you more intimately. Could you share more of yourself with me?”

He swallowed hard, eyes wide. After a moment, he pulled one of his hands away from me to cover his face. Then a groan slipped out of his lips. “Why do you have to be so viciously tempting...? Who taught you that?”

Pardon?

“Don’t tell me that pervy old fa—I mean, nasty elder—ahem, Glen’s old professor, Doctor Harvey, hasn’t been filling your head with anything strange, has he? You haven’t...been playing doctor with him, right?”

Excuse me?

He sounded completely serious as he made his query, but I was so confused I had no idea what he was referring to.

“I don’t think Doctor Harvey has taught me anything of that nature. Um, Your Highness, did he play doctor with you?”

That dazzling smile returned to his face instantly. “Of course not.” He spoke as though he were completely chaste and uninterested in such activity. “That would be ridiculous. I’ve merely heard details from Glen. You needn’t familiarize yourself with such matters either, Eli. When the time comes and you want to learn, I’ll be happy to teach you.”

“Aha,” I said vaguely, nodding. Seeing how motivated he was, I got the sudden desire to run but decided to change the subject instead. “Um...so where was it you became acquainted with Lord Ian and the Black Wing Knights?”

He stared at me for a moment. “Oh yes,” he said finally, realizing that was the original topic I’d brought up. “Actually, my meeting with Ian had nothing to do with the Black Wing Knights. I only learned he’d joined them after the fact. As for the Black Wing Knights themselves, we became acquainted through my public duties. I would never have called them to the capital if not for our current situation.”

The knights were the cornerstone of our eastern defenses. They were only ever called to the capital for essential affairs, such as the crowning of a new king. Their most elite members had been summoned to the capital in part to welcome Maldura’s delegation. They served as a precaution and were imposing enough to discourage our potential new ally from doing anything rash. As for the Guardian God of the West, Earl Hayden, he was busy keeping the rest of Maldura in check at our border.

I went quiet. For diplomatic and political purposes, I understood why the prince had sent for them, but I couldn’t bring myself to approve of his decision. My gaze dropped to the floor.

The prince’s next words were like an arrow that went right to the heart of my growing anxiety. “You’re worried that people are becoming increasingly reliant upon our military power, aren’t you?”

I swallowed hard, squeezing my hand around the arm he still had wrapped around me. He’d hit the source of the apprehension I’d been feeling since the year began.

After we were informed that a delegation from Maldura would be visiting, the militant faction began to gain momentum. Everyone’s concern and interest began turning toward our military power. When I saw that happening, I started to think we were being too hasty. Memories of war with Maldura were still too fresh in people’s minds, and we’d had a long history of being hostile neighbors. Perhaps it was premature to push for friendly relations right now.

“First,” I said, “I wanted us to acclimate people through the trading of culture and goods, so they could soak in the idea that Maldura isn’t an enemy anymore. Then we could make a fair treaty with them once everyone knows they’re just another country with different beliefs and standards than we have here. I feel we should wait for that to take root before proceeding...”

“Yes,” he said in a soft voice that soothed my restless heart. “You’re right. Considering our long and storied past with them, discretion is paramount. That’s why you feel nervous and think everything is moving too fast. Correct?”

Hearing him clarify the root of my concern was reassuring. The tension lifted from my shoulders. “Yes...”

There was no reason to turn down friendship, as my brother had said. However, it did feel like the Maldurans were trying to exploit the situation for their own motives.

“For Maldura to hasten things along makes me think they must have some other purpose in mind,” I confessed. “I can’t help but doubt them.”

“Indeed.” The prince laid his other hand over mine and entwined our fingers. My cheeks heated a bit with embarrassment.

“Hey, Eli,” he continued, “don’t try to carry the weight of everything by yourself.”

“What...?”

“Maldura’s delegation is coming here because you advocated for peace with them,” he said. “And since they’re using that as a front to hide their real aim, you feel like it’s your fault for having proposed friendship with them. That’s what you’re thinking, isn’t it?”

Sadly, I couldn’t deny that. I was the one who’d given them the excuse to come here, and yet I wasn’t even going to be here when they arrived. If anything were to happen, it would be my responsibility, but I was leaving it all for the prince to take care of.

I pursed my lips tight.

“Eli,” the prince cooed in a gentle, soothing voice, “take a deep breath.”

My eyes flew open, and he repeated his request. I acquiesced and did as he asked, drawing in air before expelling it again.

As I did so, the prince froze, staring at me as if he’d just noticed something. “You have a really sweet smell coming from you. Is it something you ate?”

“Oh,” I gasped. I tried to lift my hand to cover my mouth, but our fingers were still woven together so I couldn’t. “My brother gave me some candy a few moments ago.”

In fact, he’d been quite forceful when he popped it into my mouth, saying, “Jean isn’t your pet, so don’t be feeding these to him. You need to give your own brain some nourishment.”

It had already melted fully by now, but it was improper behavior for a lady.

As I recalled that uncomfortable memory, the prince hummed under his breath, a mischievous smile stretching across his lips. “Care to give me a taste as well?”

“What?”

By the time that word left my mouth, his face had already inched close to mine, and I could feel his tongue run across my lips. When he finally pulled away, he was grinning triumphantly as if his little prank had succeeded.

“Mm,” he said, whispering in a low voice, “sweet enough I could get addicted to the taste.”

I think I’m going to pass out. Your Highness, would you mind terribly if I just collapsed right here?

I froze stiff as a statue. I knew my face had turned red as a tomato because I could see my reflection in the prince’s eyes. My heart was pounding so furiously I felt all the air leave my lungs and thought I might really faint after all.

He chuckled to himself as I finally returned to my senses and remembered to breathe.

Feeling vexed, I murmured, “That was unfair.”

“Hm?” The way he replied in such a playful tone made me resentful.

I glanced up at him. “You’re always so composed, and I’m always so flustered... I want to make you lose your cool, too.”

His blue eyes went wide with surprise, and his Adam’s apple bobbed. “You want to make me lose my cool? How?” His expression was serious as he awaited my answer.

I told him, very matter-of-factly, “I’ll catch you in the act with another woman.”

His shoulders jumped in an almost comical way. All of the excitement he’d displayed moments before faded as he staggered in place. “That’s...not quite the direction I’d hoped for, Eli.” His voice was thick with sadness and he mumbled.

I ignored that and returned to his earlier question. “The same way you worry I might not stay faithful, I’m also concerned that you might find someone else while I’m gone. Your Highness, you’re too...”

You’re too good for me.

He was already popular in high society; I knew that. If some of the other ladies were to see how handsome he looked wielding a sword, I was sure their passion for him would only burn stronger. Someone among them might seriously make a move on the prince. Recalling how gallant he’d looked earlier, I could feel my heart tighten at the thought of losing him.

A sweet voice trickled into my ear from behind. “Well? I’d like to hear you finish that sentence, Eli.”

My pulse jumped again. I was so tongue tied I couldn’t form a response.

Prince Christopher chuckled under his breath and squeezed his arms tighter around me. “You want to see me lose my composure and be completely flustered? All right, then. You made that cruelly seductive comment earlier, and we won’t be able to see each other for a while, so why don’t I prove my love to you? You’ll never have to doubt whether I’ll be faithful or not again.”

“Um...Your Highness?” I felt the sudden urge to retreat and had to fight to keep myself from moving.

I get the feeling I’ve stepped into dangerous territory without realizing it.

“I...” The words trailed off, but I quickly blurted out the rest of my feelings. “I’m not confident in myself. It wouldn’t be surprising to me if you developed feelings for someone else...that’s all.”

No matter how I might try, I couldn’t feel confident in myself. Because...

“And why is that?” His voice was quiet as he urged me to continue, those blue eyes staring at me expectantly.

I felt tears well up as I said, “I don’t want to leave all of the responsibility to you, Your Highness.”

My advocacy was the reason Maldura’s delegation was coming here, but the prince was the one taking charge of the matter. All I did was cause him grief and bring him trouble. Wouldn’t he eventually lose all affection for me at this rate? That was a fear I simply couldn’t shake off.

“...Ngh.” I bit down on my lip, trying to hold the tears in as I cast my eyes down.

You have no right to whine to him or cry like this, I thought as I untangled myself from his arms and scrubbed a hand across my now wet cheek.

The prince’s head suddenly descended toward mine. He planted a kiss right on the edge of one of my eyes. When I looked up in surprise, I found him gazing back at me with intense affection. I tried to whisper his name, but his lips caught mine in a heated kiss, as if to reassure me. My eyes closed automatically and my heart sang. I could feel his love, and it was healing for me.

As he moved away, I opened my eyes again. The first thing I saw were his vivid blue eyes—so bright they engraved themselves into my heart.

“I feel the same, Eli,” he said, returning the same sentiments I’d shared moments ago. “I don’t want to put everything on your shoulders either, so please don’t carry the burden all by yourself.”

His affection was so profound, so all-encompassing that I felt the tears start falling again. I struggled to blink them back.

Prince Christopher smiled at me, reaching a hand up to wipe the wet trails running down my cheeks. “Just as you don’t want me to take everything on, I don’t want that for you, either. You are not solely responsible for Maldura’s delegation coming and the people’s hearts changing as a result.”

He gently chastised me for being so conceited, but at the same time, he accepted my tendency to get worked up over things prematurely. His eyes—which reminded me of a cloudless, sunny sky—seemed to see through me, straight to my heart.

“Eli, I think we’re standing on the precipice of a generational change right now. History is being made. Alone, anyone would be powerless to fight the raging current. They would drown. But together, don’t you think we can overcome this?”

The feelings that welled up in me turned to tears that I forced myself to swallow back. In times like these, I always felt so grateful that Prince Christopher was the man I fell in love with.

“Yes. Yes, absolutely, Your Highness.” My lips trembled as I tried to force them into a smile.

The prince grinned at me and pressed his lips to my forehead. “I really don’t want you to leave the palace. I’m the one getting you wrapped up in the royal family’s affairs. The Ralshen Region where Lord Bernard resides has a bit of a troubled past. I’m afraid they won’t treat you kindly because you’re my betrothed, but there’s no other suitable person to send besides you.”

I could feel the concern in his voice. Although I’d brooded over not wanting to leave everything to the prince, he was entrusting me with an exceedingly important duty. I was sure that was proof of his faith in me.

“You’re right.” I nodded.

The conflicted expression on his face finally eased. He tucked his hand into his chest pocket and produced a small bag, which he held out toward me.

“What’s this?”

“A charm,” he said. “When you’re backed into a corner and desperately need help, open this. I don’t think that time will ever come, but just in case.”

Though I found it curious he was offering me such a thing, I thanked him and accepted it.

“Eli?” His voice was so strong and filled with warmth as he called my name. “I will handle what happens at the palace with Maldura and take full responsibility for it. I want you to deal with the Ralshen Region. Can I entrust that task to you?”

“Yes,” I said, staring right into his eyes.

He gave me another one of his vibrant smiles. Then his voice turned more serious as he said, “Elianna, there is one thing I want you to etch into your heart so you never forget. You are my queen. You’re the only person I want by my side. Eli... Elianna, my Bibliophile Princess.” Prince Christopher gently caressed my cheek, and I could feel my heart stutter in response.

I peeled my gaze away from him, my voice feeling a bit raw as I said, “I understand.”

His gaze softened as he watched me, but then he let out a small sigh. “It’s vexing... We haven’t even reached spring and yet there are so many annoying pests wriggling out of every crack and crevice. Still, Eli, once this is over, all we have to do is wait for the day of our official ceremony. I want you to prepare yourself for that.” There was a teasing tone to his words, but the passion in his eyes was genuine. I felt my pulse drum even faster.

The prince was entrusting me with an extremely important duty. He was recognizing me as his partner, that we’d be walking down this path together. I felt the same way—carried the same anticipation for our wedding.

As I stood there, captured by his beautiful blue eyes, I plucked up the courage and said, “I’m also anxious for spring to come, Your Highness... Prince Christopher.”

“Eli...” Joy filtered through his husky voice as he spoke my name, a broad, earnest smile on his face. I found myself smiling, too.

Romance filled the air around us. I could feel a heat in the prince’s hand and from his breath as he leaned close. The way it caressed my skin sent my heart aflutter as I closed my eyes. Right as the warmth of his lips approached mine...

“Eli, I found the materials you wanted in the vault, but many of them are written in Quetzal, so...” Prince Theodore stepped around the corner of the shelves, and the moment he spotted us, he froze. “Oh...” He remained composed as he cleared his throat and said, “Pardon me, I’ll wait. Do continue.”

Immediately, I noticed veins bulging on the prince’s forehead, an almost audible crack echoing. He languidly slipped away from me, righting himself. The expression on his face reminded me of Lord Alexei.

Those two are definitely related by blood, I thought.

“Was that on purpose?” the prince asked. “It was, wasn’t it? I’d bet ten thousand dora that it was. I should’ve known you’d sell out to those tanuki and choose them over me. Rotten old man, with your fake-polite demeanor. You’ll die a lonely death, I swear it.”

Your Highness, that’s hardly an appropriate way to talk to him...

“I’d thank you to kindly refer to me as a refined older gentleman rather than an old man,” Prince Theodore quipped, looking as amused as he always did in these situations.

I hid my face in the prince’s arms as I waited for the blush to recede from my cheeks. I was happy His Highness had made no move to slip away from me. It was almost as if he were holding me to reassure me that this was where I belonged. Silently, I swore to myself I would do my utmost to fulfill my royal duties so I could return to these arms. Strength filled me, warm and comforting.