Bonus Short Stories

Sera’s Idea for Surviving the Heat Wave

Parth was being assaulted by a heat wave the likes of which it had never seen before. The sun was blazing hotter than a blacksmith’s furnace, causing anyone who took a single step outside to immediately break out in a sweat. It was so bad that people whispered the baseless rumor that the Fire Dragon King had sneezed and his sneeze had come to cover the Eastern Continent.

The Celsius residence, where the Rank S adventurer Grim Reaper and his companions lived, was no exception.

“It’s so hooooot. Kelvin, do something about it...”

“Rion and Shutola are making do by playing in the fountain, so I don’t want to hear you, a full-grown adult, complaining.”

Kelvin and Sera were currently lounging about in the living room. No matter how good they were at fighting, they were still as susceptible to the elements as anyone else. When inside a dungeon or on the road, their heads would switch to the appropriate frame of mind and they wouldn’t let out a peep. However, today was a day off, a day to recover from both their physical and mental fatigue. At this rate, neither was going to get better, which was why Sera had been whining this entire time.

“Then let’s go to the beach at Toraj. We can change into swimwear and cool down in the water.”

“Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you can suddenly scale things up to eleven, all right?”

“Oh my gosh, Kelvin, is there no pleasing you? And Mel’s gone out on another of her eating strolls today, of all days, so she’s not here to cool the room down! Ughhhhh!”

“How about you join the girls in the fountain? You have a swimsuit, right? Then you don’t have to worry about getting wet.”

“Ughhh...I can’t be bothered to get up, much less get changed.”

“There’s a lot I want to say to that, but...yeah, I can’t find it in me either.”

The two who were lying spread-eagle on the ground apparently did not have even the energy to sit up. However, the heat did not let up, and their sweat continued to flow. If they did not eventually move, they would get dehydrated.

“Oh, I have an idea!” Sera, who had turned on her side, clapped her hands together to indicate she’d had a flash of inspiration.

Still looking up at the ceiling and not bothering to look her way, Kelvin asked, “Which is?”

“My genius self has come upon a brilliant way to comfortably get through this terrible heat wave! Clotho, become my bed!”

“What?” Confusion filled Kelvin’s listless eyes.

Paying him no attention, Sera took out the tiny Clotho clone on her person and spoke to it. The slime pounded its chest—body?—once, then quickly began to expand. What used to be small enough to sit on Sera’s finger quickly became the size of a normal bed.

“I knew I could count on you, Clotho! This is perfect! Hup!”

“What are y—”

With an alacrity that belied the listlessness she had displayed so far, Sera got up and immediately dove into the bed that was Clotho’s body. She had tackled it at a rather impressive speed, but the slime managed to absorb the impact by jiggling its body for a while. Sera had her face buried in Clotho the entire time, lying still save for the single comment, “So this is where my summer resort is...”

“It’s that incredible?!” The sheer contentment radiating from Sera made Kelvin extremely curious about the Clotho bed. A while later, the children returned to find these two blissfully napping side by side. The Clotho bed became a huge fad in the Celsius household for a while after that.

Prettia-sensei’s Love Lecture

In a corner inside a small, fancy café somewhere on the Eastern Continent, a group of girls with incredible presence were gathered around a small table. This included Efil, Sera, Melfina, Rion, and even Ange—in short, pretty much the full roster of the beauties of the Celsius household. However, someone even more attention-grabbing than all of these jaw-dropping stunners was sitting with them. In fact, the other visitors at the store—and everyone walking in—had their eyes fixated on this particular individual. Efil and the others at the table were also similarly giving her their undivided attention.

“And that’s when I said, ‘I’m ending this love here. The place you belong is beside your childhood friend!’”

Of course, this was the Rank S adventurer that was close to all the female members of the Celsius household, “Peach Ogre” Goldiana Prettiana. Today was the third iteration of the love lecture she hosted, and she had just finished giving an account of her passionate yet bittersweet stories of romance.

“So mature!” Rion exclaimed. “You backed off on your own!”

“So that’s what happened,” Sera marveled. “I expected no less of you. How profound!”

Efil had a conflicted look on her face. “Master is the only person for me, so I can’t imagine having to make such a choice.”

“Wha— It’s the same for me too! I won’t lose even to you in my love for Kelvin, Efil-chan!” Ange protested.

“I can only imagine how much it hurt you to make that call,” Melfina murmured before turning around and calling, “Excuse me! Please bring us ten more plates of this Special Pudding!”

While listening to each girl’s response to her story, the woman with plenty of experience turned her thoughts to the state of each of their love lives.

“Well, that’s enough about me. I want to hear what you sweet darlings are up to. Now, I’m just guessing, but Efil-chan and Sera-chan, things are going just swimmingly for you two, right? Efil-chan’s always been clear on her path, and Sera-chan seems to have lost all her hesitation after she crossed that one line. Was it possibly due to my advice? Ha ha.”

Ange asked, “Advice?” at the same time Rion asked, “What line?”

“Nothing! It’s nothing!” Sera cried, leaping to her feet and shaking both hands vigorously.

The sight prompted a gentle smile on Goldiana’s face. “As for Rion-chan, I suppose you have family circumstances to consider. Personally speaking, I’d love to cheer you on, but I’m sure I... No, maidens in love are the ultimate treasures of the world. As an evangelist of love, there’s no way I can ever reject one! But that said, it doesn’t seem like you’re having all that much trouble, Rion-chan. In a way, you’ve already broken through the wall with him.”

“Aww, shucks, thank you.”

“That leaves Ange-chan. Mm! Mm, mm! I’m an absolute fan of love as pure as yours!” Goldiana patted Ange’s shoulders a few times and gave her an understanding gaze.

“Huh?! What did you figure out about me from what I just said?!” Ange cried, her face as red as a tomato. “Oh right! Mel-san! What about Mel-san, then?! You still haven’t given your impression of her!”

“Om nom nom...gulp. What was that about me?” Melfina, who was building a tower of plates as usual, looked up with cream all around her mouth.

“Mel-chan is... Oh dear, what is... I’m sorry, but I can’t seem to get a full reading on her. I’ve never felt this beating in my chest before. It’s like, you’re free but also tied to a profoundly strong will of sorts. Dear oh dear, I dare say I’ve never encountered anything like it.”

Goldiana tilted her large head, looking puzzled. Contrasting her previous replies, she now sounded vague and unsure.

Melfina grinned. “Looks like even someone with as much experience as Goldiana can’t fully read me. Which is only natural, of course, since I’m the legal wife!”

“I admit to being quite stumped, but I’m sure that having such powerful feelings is a good thing. See, it also serves as stimulation to those around you.”

Fires blazed in the eyes of the girls, silent yet ferocious, as their competitive spirits flared up. The person they had identified as their rival, Melfina, turned around to put in another order of pudding.

Kelvin’s Manly Meal

There was no doubt in Kelvin’s mind that Efil’s cooking was the most delicious in the entire world, unmatched by anything else. That assessment was entirely unaffected by whether they were at home or outdoors and whether she was standing in a proper kitchen or not. Every single ingredient she handled would turn into the most delectable dish. Her cooking proficiency was such that one could almost be convinced she would be able to pick up a random chip of wood lying by the roadside and make it delicious—and she might just be able to meet those expectations.

Naturally, Kelvin hadn’t a single complaint about her food, and he devoured it every day with as much satisfaction as Melfina did. However, even he got a certain itch once in a while.

“I kinda feel like eating a rough, hearty meal for guys.”

The words just suddenly came out of his mouth, largely unbidden. Kelvin didn’t think much of them, and there had been very little actual intention in his mind. His feelings were quite understandable. Even someone who knew nothing about cooking would get such urges sometimes. His timing, however, was a bit unfortunate.

CRAAAASH!

Of all times, he actually said it when Efil was within earshot. The sound of plates crashing to the ground resounded loudly throughout the room.

“Efil?! Are you okay?!”

“Master! Was there something not to your liking in the meal just now?! Please tell me! I promise I’ll do better next time! Please!”

“What? Oh, no, that’s not what I meant...”

“Honey, you’re going to have to resolve that misunderstanding now.”

Efil’s uncharacteristic episode required a lot of effort on Kelvin’s part to calm her down and properly convey what he was thinking. Only then could he breathe a sigh of relief after his one thoughtless comment.

Once Efil finally understood what Kelvin meant, he brought Sera and Dahak, who looked like they wanted some attention, to a forest somewhere. The pretext was that they were going for a hike, whereas they were actually planning on making a big, hearty, manly meal.

“So, here’s the meat.” Kelvin threw a monster as large as a cow down on the ground, causing a dull thud.

“You sure are quick to make a move, brother,” Dahak marveled.

Kelvin shot him a look. “Can you not put it in a way that sounds so misleading?”

“I don’t think it’s misleading at all, though,” Sera quipped. “What’re you making?”

“Since we’re here and all, there’s only one choice, right? Gotta go simple and hearty: we’re having meat on the spit!”

“Whoa, you’re gonna roast the entire thing?!”

“That’s right, Dahak! I’ve always wanted to try it!”

Kelvin dressed the carcass with quick, broad strokes, turning it into a lump of meat so large he could barely hold it in his arms. He pierced it with an iron stake, then set it into position above a hearty fire. And that was it for the preparations. The only thing left to do was rotate the spit so the meat would be evenly cooked on all sides.

“What’re you gonna do for the seasoning?” Sera asked.

Kelvin grinned. “I brought salt and pepper. We’ll sprinkle it on when serving!”

“You’re really staying faithful to being rough, I see.”

Thirty minutes of idle chatting later, the air was filled with the fragrant aroma of cooked meat.

Kelvin peered at the spit. “You think it’s about done?”

Sera shrugged. “You tell me.”

“What’s with that face? If you have something to say, then say it.”

“Oh, no, I have nothing to say. But go on, since you cooked it, you should have the honor of trying it first.”

“That’s a good point! Brother, dig right in!”

“Ooookay. Well, as this is a rough, hearty meal for a true man, I’m biting directly into it! Here goes!”

Kelvin sprinkled salt and pepper generously over his portion, then enthusiastically chomped down.

Seeing him fall silent, Sera asked, “Well?”

“Uh...it’s still raw on the inside.”

“Pffft. I figured. Your cooking time was way too short considering how big you cut the meat.”

“You knew it’d turn out this way, Sera?!”

“I had a hunch. So, what do you want to do? You want to keep cooking? Or let me take over? It’s true that cooking an entire beast over an open fire is hearty, but I remember Efil saying before that it’s actually pretty difficult.”

“Please and thank you.”

Kelvin’s decision was instantaneous. That decisiveness was, in a way, manly too. And so he passed the baton to Sera, who started roasting it with careful attention.

“Um, brother, meat isn’t really my thing, so I’m gonna go off to look for some wild vegetables and berries.”

“Uh...could it be that among the three of us, Sera’s actually the manliest?”

“What are you even talking about?”

Firsthand Account of the Celsius Household

I am Lala, a member of the public relations section of the intelligence bureau of the Adventurer’s Guild. Today, I have come to the house of Kelvin Celsius, the most recently promoted Rank S adventurer, in order to interview him. We released a new edition of the Adventurer Directory not long ago, but Kelvin has already racked up a huge number of exploits since, not the least of which included his showing at the Beast King Festival. In a departure from other Rank S adventurers, his companions were all nearly as powerful as he was, and for better or worse, he is a man of countless hard-to-believe rumors. It was my duty today to confirm the veracity of as many facts as I could. I was directly ordered to do so by the Guildmaster General!

The responsibility is enormous! Okay, I’m gonna give it my all!

“Please wait here awhile. Master will be along shortly.”

“Oh, uh, thank you! Please don’t go out of your way for me!”

Despite the pep talk I gave myself, however, I was extremely nervous due to Kelvin’s house basically being a fancy mansion! He had scary-looking door guards, soldiers patrolling the halls, and some sort of barrier cast on his walls. As I had had my fair share of time out in the field as an adventurer and could use some magic, I could tell how insane everything here was. The place probably had better defensive capabilities than some castles.

Uh oh. I’ve yet to meet Kelvin and my heart’s already going cuckoo. And okay, looks like my vocabulary’s gone out the window! No, wait, there’s something more important to do right now!

“Um...are you perhaps, uh, ‘Bombing Princess’ Efil-san?”

“Ah, yes. I am Efil.”

“So you are... Aha ha...”

So the line about her being a maid in the Directory really is true! Everyone in the editing department was really doubtful while publishing the previous edition. She’s not just wearing the outfit for fashion, she’s a bona fide maid! Phew, that was close. I’m so glad I recognized her before I asked anything stupid. You’re doing good, Lala! Keep it up!

As I was encouraging myself, the very person I was hoping to meet, Kelvin, entered the room.

“Sorry, I’m a bit late. I was exercising just now.”

So this is the man feared by the world as “Grim Reaper”...and “Battle Junkie,” “Philanderer,” and “War Poet,” among all the other titles that need confirming. In person, he looks like a surprisingly sincere person, though. I’m a little relieved. I do need to ask about all those titles today too. Go on, you got this, Lala!

“Say, Kelvin, whose turn is it to sleep with you tonight? Oh, who’s this?”

“Pffft!”

“Sera, this is someone from the Guild! I beg you, please watch what you say in front of her!”

The redhead who had suddenly popped into the room dropped a bombshell. Kelvin and Efil immediately chided her, but there was no more doubt that he was a phil— No, no, it was still too early to make assumptions. Let’s calm down. Stay cool, Lala.

“Dearest brother Kelvin, let’s take a bath together!”

“Shutola-chan, you shouldn’t go out wearing only a bath towel!”

“Pffft!”

“Shutola and Rion?! Why’re you two half-naked?!”

Oh, this is not good. This is very bad. Now two young girls who’re pretty much baring everything have come along. Does this mean what I think it means? I’m getting the feeling that they bathe together on a daily basis. Even if they’re siblings, that’s a bit— No, no, I should overlook this with the heart of a saint. I’m sure that I’m just misunderstanding Kelvin-san. I’ve only known him for a few minutes. That’s right, it’s not good to form preconceptions of people, Lala.

The younger girl said, “Since we’re going to take a bath, one towel is enough, right? It was so intense with dearest brother (during the practice match) just now, we should clean ourselves up.”

The somewhat older girl nodded in agreement. “That’s right. (The practice match) today was even more intense than usual, so I’ve worked up a huge sweat. I figured you did too, Kel-nii, so let’s get in together.”

“Pffft!”

“I...I’m very glad for the consideration, but I have this interview to do now. Don’t worry about me; you two go on and take your bath first.”

The two girls went “Okay!” in unison and headed off.

Okay, I’m now a hundred percent sure. There is no more room for doubt. Guildmaster General, do you think I’ll be able to leave this house untainted? That’s my sole worry now.

Gerard Giving It His All

As always, the dark knight, Gerard, woke up early. He got up from his bed, still in his armor, and poured himself a cup of tea from the pot in the room. He slowly enjoyed its taste and the silence while waiting for the sun to rise.

When the cup was empty, he propped his greatsword on his shoulder and headed outside to fulfill his daily quota of practice swings. As it was still early, he kept his movements as silent as possible, but each swing was faster than the eye could follow.

Suddenly, the apprentice maid, Ruka, walked by, yawning and sleepily rubbing her eyes. “Oh, good morning, Grandpa Gerard.”

“Ruka! Good morning indeed!” Gerard exclaimed. “Look at this! Isn’t it cool?”

“Aha ha, you’re supposed to practice seriously!”

Gerard had switched up his swings to ones that focused more on looking impressive, but he normally was quite serious in his training.

“Oh, right, I was on my way to the kitchen. Bye-bye, grandpa!”

“Bye-bye!” Gerard waved his arm in an exaggerated manner. Somehow, his arm waving seemed even sharper than his sword swings just now.

“Mm, that was a very productive training session indeed. Especially the latter half!”

“Waaaaaah!”

Suddenly, a little girl’s wail rang out. It was quite soft, indicating that it had come from far away, but Gerard was able to instantly pick up on it, identify its source, and even determine whose voice it was.

“SHUTOLAAAA! WHAT HAPPENED?!”

The knight ran and ran. He took the shortest route to Shutola’s bedroom, knocked on her door properly, and entered only when she gave permission. He had considered climbing the wall to the second floor but immediately dismissed the idea. It was his policy to not cause his grandchildren unnecessary alarm.

“Ugh, grandpa...I dreamed that Mdofarak ate the pudding I set aside to eat as a snack later. I was so close to actually eating it!”

“What?! That sounds like a disaster! Now, normally I would scold Mdo for doing something like this, but if it was in a dream, I mean...”

“Don’t worry, I understand it with my head, grandpa. Even though Mdofarak loves sweets, she won’t actually steal things from people. Rather, I should be the one to reflect on myself for having a dream like this. Ehe heh, I’m sorry for making you worry.”

“What a sweet girl you are! Just wait, I’ll go ask Efil to make pudding for today’s snack right away!”

“Grand— Ah, he’s already gone.”

With the same speed at which he had arrived at Shutola’s room, Gerard charged down the twists and turns of the house’s staircases. When he reached the kitchen, although he got scolded by Efil for running inside the house, he still succeeded in convincing her to make pudding for the day’s snack. Mission complete.

“We’re hoooome!”

“Awoooo!” (We’re back!)

“Oh, Rion and Alex! Were you two out for a morning walk?”

“Yep! We sure w— Uh, why’re you sitting in the seiza pose, Gramps? In the hallway, no less.”

“The reason is more profound than the height of the mountains and the depth of the seas. It’d take a long time to tell you the full story, so don’t worry about it.”

“I...see. Well, there are times like that too.”

“Arf?” (Are there?)

The reason was actually quite simple and straightforward, but Rion seemed to have caught on and decided to let the matter slide.

Ange-sensei’s Survival Seminar

“Outdoors training?”

Shutola, the princess currently freeloading at Kelvin’s house, and Kelvin’s apprentice maid, Ruka, were playing in the house’s front yard when they were suddenly approached by Kelvin and Ange.

“That’s right.” Kelvin nodded. “You two don’t have much experience with the outdoors yet, do you? So I thought this was as good a time as any to familiarize you with it, both mentally and physically. Well, just think of it as a camping trip. Just without any tools.”

“Dearest brother, the phrase ‘without any tools’ sounds very worrying to me...”

“There’s nothing to worry about! Why? Because you’ll have a special instructor coming along with you: Ange-sensei! I guarantee you she knows more about survival camping than anyone else in this entire world!”

Ruka turned to her friend. “Shutola-sama, what does ‘survival camping’ mean?”

“At the very least, it’s clearly not normal camping.” Due to her wealth of knowledge, Shutola’s worries had already turned into certainty.

“Hi! As Kelvin said, I’m Ange. You can call me ‘sister Ange’ and think of me as your big sister. We’re gonna have so much fun the next three days!”

“Whaaat? Three whole days? What’re we gonna do about the food?”

“Good question, Ruka-chan! You like cooking, right? I can see how you’d be worried about cooking without tools, but I’ll show you how much of a difference knowledge and experience can make. By the way, my best dish is snake! I’ll thoroughly teach you everything from how to catch and dress them to how to cook them in various scenarios!”

“Uh...”

Shutola was now extremely uneasy. Ange looked reliable with her friendly smile and fingers held in the peace sign, but at the same time, it seemed very likely that what she would be teaching would be quite far off the rails.

“I, uh, already have lots of knowledge, so I think I’ll p—”

“Oh, no, hon, just knowing something in your head is very different from actually knowing it. They’re very different things. You’re knowledgeable about many things, Shutola-chan, and you’ve got a lot of energy, Ruka-chan, but that alone isn’t enough. You two need to have both, or you aren’t going to survive, given how harsh survival is!”

Shutola fell silent as Ruka went, “Wow, is that true?” without seeming to quite understand what Ange was talking about. By now, the older girl was done trying to hide things. She’d even used the term “harsh” straight out.

“Master, are mommy and Rion-sama not coming with us?”

“Well, Ellie used to have a job that required her to go hunting and Rion does this kind of thing with Alex pretty much every day as a part of their play. So no, they don’t particularly need this.”

“Aw, I thought we could play together.” Ruka hung her head.

Ange smiled. “In exchange, this big sister will teach you everything you need to know. All right, you two. First thing you have to do is to get changed. I imagine it’d be hard to get dirt out of that maid uniform and fancy dress.” She handed over sets of carefully folded camouflage uniforms, then plopped a sheathed knife on top as if it was the most natural thing to do.

“I...am going to get dirtied, I see...”

“Oh, yep! You’re gonna get very dirty.”

“I don’t even...”

“Oh, goody! We get to play in the mud!”

And so Kelvin watched Ange set out with the two young girls on her shoulders, praying that they would come back more stouthearted three days later.

Alex’s Rebellious Phase

Recently, Rion had realized that Alex was acting strange. During mealtimes, he would normally get seconds, then finish with an extra bone as a snack. For the past few days, however, he did not have seconds and left his bone untouched. There were red flags besides food too. For example, his fur had become so fluffy and glossy that he hardly needed the daily brushing Rion gave him anymore.

“Alex, wanna go for a walk? Huh? Where’s... That’s strange. I can’t find him anywhere.”

Also, he would sometimes disappear somewhere without telling Rion in advance. It would be fastest to reach out through telepathy, but Rion’s mind was occupied by a single alarming thought.

“Don’t tell me he’s entered his rebellious phase?!”

It was a pretty huge leap in logic, to be honest.

“Is this his way of showing his resolve to leave my care and make his own way in the world? Hmm...as his partner, I have a duty to see for myself!”

And so Rion decided to shadow the shadow wolf. She would use every means at her disposal to follow him without alerting him. And she didn’t have to wait long; opportunity came the next morning.

“Arf! Arf! Arf!” (Hmm, hmm, hmm...!)

Why’s he in such high spirits?!

Alex was almost skipping as he left the house and headed out, humming along the way.

Is he enjoying having become a lone wolf? No, no, it’s too early to jump to conclusions. For now, let’s continue shadowing him. Sneaky sneak, sneaky sneak.

Despite her usage of “sneaky sneak,” the speed at which Rion was moving would be more accurately described as “fwoom, fwoom.” She was basically streaking by as fast as a gust of wind.

“Awooo!” (Arrived!)

Huh? This place is...

Upon following Alex, Rion found herself in front of a place serving as a resting spot for people: a park. The wolf walked right in without any hesitation whatsoever.

“Oh, hon, look. Alex-chan’s come again.”

“Every time I see him, I’m blown away by how huge he is! He sure is worth brushing!”

“Yay, Alex is here! Lemme ride your back again today!”

“Oh my, what a big doggie. I made this snack for my child, but would you like some too?”

The moment Alex stepped into the park, everyone inside, regardless of age and gender, crowded around him. Whereas some asked to brush him, some begged him to play with them, and some even began feeding him snacks. Despite his large bulk and fierce wolf-like appearance, no one looked scared of him in the slightest. At this moment, Alex was undoubtedly the center of attention in this park.

“Awoooo!” (I’m shining right now!)

“What was that about shining?”

“Arf?!” (What?!)

Rion’s sudden appearance almost made Alex jump out of his skin. He desperately tried to justify himself, explaining that he had happened on this park during one of his walks and ended up garnering quite a bit of popularity. Consequently, he had been slipping away to enjoy some time here every once in a while. In short, this was sort of his secret base.

A strange mixture of emotions washed over Rion: half relief that Alex had not actually entered a rebellious phase, and half wryness at the childish side that still remained in him. Afterwards, she gave her thanks to everyone who had given Alex snacks and brushed him. By the end of the day, she had fully become a part of the group at the park and was playing just as hard as everyone else.