Chapter 36: Path of Questioning the Heart

The bright sun shone high, driving away the dampness from the muddy streets and alleys. The ground, which was still soft when George had left his home earlier, had now turned dry and yellow. However, since it was already the harvest season, Pelor had clearly restrained his power . The sunlight had lost its excessive heat, and when it fell on the passersby by the road, it did not feel particularly burning.

In the town square at the center, people came and went, making the place lively, as if the gloom of the past few days had been washed away. Compared to the previous day, besides the vendors with baskets, there were now many stalls set up with wooden poles and canvas for shade, and wooden boxes and tables for displaying goods.

“Selling meat pies! Selling meat pies! Delicious meat pies shaped like otters!” At a stall on the east side of the square, a middle-aged man with a round face was shouting loudly. Fortunately, his linen clothes looked clean and tidy, otherwise, his greasy black hair might have made the customers stop in their tracks.

The middle-aged man held a template made of cast iron in one hand. With a wooden stick wrapped in cloth, he dipped it into an unknown oil and brushed it over the template. Then, using a wooden spoon, he poured a grayish-brown batter into the template in order. It looked like a mixture of wheat, oats, and various other grains. After that, he stuffed it with meat filling, poured more batter on top, and closed the template. He flipped it over to grill both sides alternately, and a constant “sizzle-sizzle” sound came from the iron plate. Soon, he lifted the template open, and a faintly sweet fragrance spread everywhere.

Looking at this scene, George felt as if he had returned to his childhood county town before he transmigrated. Back then, George was still called Li Desheng, just an ordinary person among the masses of that era. As a child who was still in kindergarten, he was an immature boy who knew almost nothing.

Every day after school, outside the kindergarten playground, various small carts sold all kinds of items that caught children’s eyes. Among them, an old grandmother used a similar method to fry egg pancakes. Although young Li Desheng never knew if there were actually eggs in those pancakes, the sweet taste and soft texture were deeply imprinted in his childhood memories.

Thinking about how the young and ignorant Li Desheng always made noise and demanded things whenever his parents picked him up, he slowly grew up. He studied in an ordinary way, got into an ordinary university, found an ordinary job, and lived a life that was neither good nor bad.

Except for joining a small circle of people seeking immortality and the Dao, he was no different from ordinary people. What truly worried him was what fate his original parents might have faced after he transmigrated. He did not know if he would ever have the day to return.

After all, he had transmigrated while in a state of visualization, and there had been no signs of going crazy before. If he had left a corpse behind, he wondered if his parents could handle the blow of an old person sending off a young one. He hoped he had simply disappeared into thin air, giving his parents at least something to miss. But if that were the case, the insurance he bought might not reach his parents. Although they had a pension, considering the rising prices, he hoped the house he left behind was enough for his parents to live comfortably.

Thinking of his father, who had been like a big tree shielding him from the sky when he was young, and his mother, who had carefully cared for him, asking about his cold and hunger, and that home which was like a safe harbor, George’s heart was filled with an inexplicable bitterness. His eyes felt wet, with something flowing in them. “Others just face the situation where the tree wishes to be still but the wind does not stop, and the child wishes to care for parents but they are no longer there. But what exactly am I?”

Before he could finish speaking, clear cracks appeared on George’s Spirit Platform. Slowly, the cracks multiplied and spread all over his Divine Soul. A black smoke-like substance began to leak out from the cracks. In reality, a wave of fatigue surged through George’s entire body. Only after noticing this did he realize that a great disaster was upon him.

Had the recent emotional fluctuation caused the suppressed negative emotions to explode all at once? Or was it triggered by a subconscious self-denial and self-loathing?

This was undoubtedly the biggest crisis George had faced since transmigrating. The previous battles and other things could not even be compared to it. Take the night battle on that evening as an example. Even if George and his party could not win, they could surely retreat, and the enemy might not have been able to stop them. Besides, there were two powerful figures, Val Knight and Sir Bart, stationed not far away.

But this time was completely different. This was George’s battlefield alone. It was impossible, or at least within George’s known range, for anyone to help George in such a situation. And in this sudden and abnormal explosion, George had already completely lost the initiative.

Understanding the danger before him, George tried to calm himself down. “If this is an explosion of negative emotions, then I must face it, defeat it, and use the touching moments and positive emotions of life to resolve it.”

“Is it the guilt of not being able to be filial to my original parents? But no parents would not want their children to live healthy and happily. Even if I have become practically another person. If they knew I lost my second life because of this reason, the pain would crush them completely.” George shouted to himself in his heart. “Since I could transmigrate here, there must also be a way to return. Although there is no known way to return within the current Rank, there might be a path ahead. As long as I live this day, there is always hope.”

George’s feelings toward his parents in this life were complex. Since he could not completely cut off the past like an immortal who had dissolved his body to be reborn, George, carrying the memories of his previous life, could not integrate well into his current family. His mother had passed away early, and George, who had awakened his innate wisdom at the age of three, did not have a very deep impression of her. In his vague memories, his mother in this life had a singing voice like a lark. The lullabies she sang were still deeply remembered by George.

As for his current father, the careful George could clearly feel his care for him. Perhaps it was the reserve of being a Noble, or perhaps it was the entanglement of many affairs in the Territory, or perhaps too much responsibility weighed on his shoulders. Viscount Bolerum did not have much time to show his fatherly love in front of George. But even in those brief moments of contact, George could feel the warmth in his eyes.

“Body and skin are received from parents. No matter what, the upbringing of this life’s parents must be repaid. Although the vague return must be pursued, before that, one must also fulfill the duties of this life. Whether inheriting the family or developing the Territory, I must make Father’s wishes come true.” The inner suggestion continued, and George reached out to touch the focus headband. “Besides, there is a group of people around me who care about me. Humans are not plants or trees. The bonds formed in this short 14 years of this life far exceed the more than 20 years of the previous life. No wonder some people say that the more advanced the era, the colder the relationship between people. And after becoming the Acting Lord, the hopeful gazes from the officials and subjects in the Territory, that heavy trust, also added an equal sense of responsibility to George. Even if I cannot make those who have good expectations of me completely satisfied, I cannot let them feel disappointed.”

Recalling the confusion and hesitation at the beginning of his transmigration, the contradictions and caution after initially adapting, the surprise and expectation when gaining power, the indescribable mental peace when formally integrating into the role, the effort and struggle after understanding and accepting responsibility…

“Heh, unknowingly, I have left so many marks in this world. Then let the butterfly’s wings flap even more fiercely.” George’s mind began to settle. Although black smoke still rose from the Divine Soul on his Spirit Platform, the cracks did not increase.

“It is not the time to seek stability!” George forced himself to walk a few steps to the side, propped his hand against the wall of a building on the outer side of the square, and began his Visualization. This was actually a very dangerous act. If something unexpected happened, George’s years of cultivation might be ruined. But for now, there was no better way. Sitting and waiting for death was not George’s style.

He continued with the Visualization of “The Great One’s Divine Figure” and, contrary to his usual habit, began to chant the Daoist Canon: “The Great One gave birth to water; water in turn assisted the Great One, thus forming heaven. Heaven in turn assisted the Great One, thus forming earth. Heaven and earth mutually assisted each other, thus forming the divine spirits…”

Against this background, the image of The Great One in George’s mind became clearer and clearer. At the same time, his Divine Soul in the Spirit Platform began to change from George’s own form into the shape of The Great One. Under this change, the cracks on the Divine Soul slowly closed up. However, once this change was completed, George would no longer be George. Just like the Arhats in the Buddhist Buddha realm, he would become a puppet of others. Although he had not completely lost himself, he was not much different from a marionette.

Suddenly, George’s tone changed: “Established with constant non-existence and existence.” The image he immediately visualized instantly blurred and turned into a chaotic void. At the same time, his Divine Soul underwent a corresponding change.

Enduring the sudden sleepiness that attacked him, because George knew that if he fell asleep like this, he would never wake up again.

“Presided over by The Great One.” With the chanting of this last line, George’s Divine Soul, which had turned into a chaotic void, rapidly collapsed into a single point. Then, with a flash of light that seemed to split heaven and earth within the Spirit Platform, George’s Divine Soul reappeared. The newly formed Divine Soul appeared crystal clear and translucent. Although it was basically consistent with George’s physical body, there was a subtle difference, as if it emitted a unique rhythm. However, the size of this Divine Soul was less than half of what it was originally.

Just then, in the shadows of some distant Plane, a female voice appeared: “Eh! A fascinating little one has actually appeared…”

“Heh! Heh!” George, who had escaped death, smiled bitterly twice. “The lies from before have come true now. Is this karma?”

George, who clearly felt weak mentally, did not know that if one entered the Spirit Platform to observe now, the situation was not as bad as imagined. Or rather, his current state should be somewhat similar to the weakness period after a thunder tribulation, rather than the powerlessness after severe mental damage.

Glancing once more at the meat pie stall, George helplessly lowered his head and shook it: “Since this was caused by this, not eating one would be a betrayal of myself.”

Dragging his somewhat heavy footsteps, George came to the stall: “Give me two meat pies.”

At the same time, in a camp on one side of the square, Hiren stood holding a sword outside a tent, vigilantly watching the surroundings.