4:01 P.M.

4:01 P.M.

 

Clutching my knees, at a loss, unable to go anywhere, I sat unmoving in the darkness.

I’d locked Tanaka Shiro and what’s-his-name in that room, but I didn’t really think that was going to accomplish much. They both seemed like the type to get things done if they put their minds to it.

Not me, though. Michimoto Sakiko: hopeless loser.

Try as I might, I’d been unable to get back to that other world. I couldn’t bring myself to try and leave the Moon Temple either, so I just sat there sniffling, uselessly.

I was awful.

Just the worst.

A stupid, worthless girl with no reason to live.

I’d heard that broadcast from the King of Distortion or Teratsuki Kyoichiro… I wasn’t sure which. That made it clear we didn’t have long to live.

And that was for the best, really.

I couldn’t speak for everyone here, but I certainly deserved this fate. I was never going to accomplish anything. All I would ever do was what I did to Hinako. Say something awful, hurt someone, and then never see them again.

I was better off not doing anything.

Never talking to anyone, never making any friends, never letting anyone get close!

If that meant I was better off dead, then let me die!

“I’ve had enough…” I sobbed. “I can’t do this anymore. I don’t care what happens.”

I sounded like a lost child.

The Moon Temple creaked. It kept doing that. Fragments fell from the ceiling. This place felt ready to collapse on top of me.

But I didn’t move.

I didn’t know what to do!

“Unhh…waahhhh…!”

I couldn’t bear it, and a sob forced its way out of me.

Then…

Screee…

A strained, metallic sound, not like the sounds before it.

I looked up.

And saw a shadow standing down the hall, right where a pillar connected the floor to the ceiling.

“………”

I stared at the shadow, blankly.

The shadow was tying some sort of wire to the pillar. Making bridges between that pillar and the others. The metallic sound had been the wire scraping against the walls.

Working in silence, the silhouette’s oversized hat and cape made it look less like a person and more like a pipe.

“………”

I gaped until it finished what it was doing, and muttered, “Well. That should hold for about a week.”

I scrambled to my feet.

“Er…um…!”

The shadow turned towards me.

“What?” it asked. I couldn’t tell by the voice if it was a boy or a girl.

I was scared. My lips were trembling. But I forced myself to move closer.

“Wh-what are you doing?”

“Reinforcing the building. Just making life harder for the demolition crew.”

The shadow narrowed one eye, and turned up the opposite corner of its lips, making a strange, asymmetrical expression. Was it smiling? Playing dumb? Mocking me? I couldn’t be sure.

“Um, well… are… are you…?”

I hesitated.

The shadow shrugged.

“Yes. My name is Boogiepop. It seems you know me.”

It said this so simply I didn’t know how to react.

“Th-the real one?”

“Well now. Is there anything in this world that actually counts as real?”

I didn’t know what that was supposed to mean. Blood was rushing to my head.

“No, that’s not what I… I mean, if, um, you’re real, then…”

No use. I couldn’t make myself make sense. I couldn’t get to the point.

But the shadow jumped ahead of me.

“Do I kill people? Yes, I do.”

 

My jaw dropped.

Boogiepop said it so simply, as if saying, “So what?” As if saying the most ordinary thing in the world. How could anyone say it like that?

“Y-you make it sound so easy…”

“You’ve heard rumors about me, I assume?”

“Er… they say you’re a shinigami.”

“And shinigami kill people. Nothing easy or hard about it.”

“………”

None of this was what I expected.

I thought… I thought Boogiepop would be like… more grim?

And there was something I needed to ask. As rattled as I was, the need was so urgent I found my lips moving on their own, the words pouring out.

And Boogiepop answered calmly, as if this happened all the time.

“You’re a killer?”

“I may have been called that.”

“Do people hire you?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“What do you get for killing?”

“Nothing at all.”

“So you work for free?”

“I’ve certainly never received any rewards.”

“So why do you kill?”

“First…because it’s my job. And secondly, because the people I kill are enemies of the world.”

“How do you choose who to kill?”

“I don’t choose at all. Most times I find the one I need to kill automatically appears in front of me.”

“Do they want you to kill them? Are they lining up for it?”

“Nobody really wants to be killed.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am.” It seemed oddly certain.

I stuck to my guns. “Oh, yeah? I feel like there have to be people so sick of living they start seriously thinking about being killed.”

“No such thing.”

“There is!”

“That is simply because if they continue to live, they’ll be choosing to allow whatever meaning their life has had so far to die. A will to live, the idea of continuing to exist, is inherent in the concept. They have not actually rejected that at all.”

I was totally lost now.

“…? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You only have the right to say you wish to die if you have truly lived with everything you’ve got.”

It shrugged.

“…!” I gasped. “Wh-what’s your point?”

“Do you have that right?” it asked. Pointedly.

“I… I, well…” I stammered. “I’m an awful person. I’m worthless.”

“And that justifies killing?”

“I-It doesn’t?”

“If it did, most people in the world would have to die. By your logic,” it said. “You don’t think this world is a good one, do you?”

I certainly didn’t know how to handle a shinigami telling me that.

“But if all the bad people were gone, wouldn’t that make the world a better place?”

“A world with only the good people left?”

“Y-yes. People like me gone, and people like Hina-chan get to go on living in peace.”

“Hina-chan? Who is that?”

“Oh…she’s a much, much better girl than me. And yet… why am I the one who…”

My voice shook. I couldn’t bear it. I hung my head.

“Hmm,” Boogiepop said. “So Hina-chan was your King of Distortion.”

The moment it said that name, my eyes widened.

Right. How did I not realize?

Why else would Boogiepop be here for?

This shinigami… the King of Distortion… were they…

“Are you…the same? You and him?”

“………”

Boogiepop didn’t answer.

If… if that was true… then was this some sort of turf war?

Which meant that for me, well, I couldn’t ever be Hinako’s enemy, could I? So this shinigami was…

As I muttered under my breath, Boogiepop spoke, quietly.

“Was your King of Distortion nice to you?”

I nodded.

She’d been very nice.

I’d rather be dead than betray that. Maybe I didn’t have the right to be killed but that didn’t matter.

I was glaring at Boogiepop, who met my gaze and held it.

“What did she say to you?”

“That I had to turn my suffering into gold.”

“And that seemed ‘nice’?”

“It did!” I yelled. “I didn’t know what it meant! I just thought, wow, deep, guess I’d better try! If Hina-chan is alive there, then I’ll do whatever she asks!”

Tears were streaming down my cheeks.

“Do you still think you can?”

“I don’t know! I’m not there anymore!”

What should I do?

How could I do what the King of Distortion asked?

Should I fight Boogiepop? Would that help protect Hinako?

I didn’t think I could ever beat this thing. But…still…

“Your King of Distortion is a part of you,” Boogiepop said, interrupting my thoughts. “If it was nice to you, then that is because you are nice. The King of Distortion is like me—just like you said. I doubt it has a will of its own. It simply gave shape to your distortion. Which means you have been distorting your own kindness.”

“………”

I didn’t know what this meant. Boogiepop kept talking.

“That couldn’t have been much fun. The distortion must have made you suffer. But you are as kind as you have suffered. Hina-chan appeared to tell you that. You care about her?”

Boogiepop spoke as if she was still alive. I nodded.

“You love her?”

I nodded.

Boogiepop looked confused.

“Then…haven’t you already succeeded?”

“Hunh?”

“If these feelings don’t count as ‘gold’ then what in this world does?”

Good question.

“…!”

My jaw dropped again.

Then we heard a dull thudding noise from up above us, in the elevator shaft, like someone beating a hammer against the wall.

“My, my…” Boogiepop said, shaking its head. “I supposed this won’t end that easily.”

It turned and ran off.

“W-wait!” I cried.

I tried to follow, but the shadow was too fast, and before I knew it I’d lost sight of it.