Chapter I

Chapter I

 

“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,” she said. Her name was Nakadai Sawako, and her cheekbones stood out ever so slightly. Her face was very pale, though, and to Asukai Jin, she looked like a withered bouquet inside an oversized jacket.

“Hmm,” he said.

“I know it’s cliché,” she went on, “but I feel like something’s sitting on my chest, looking at me. But when I open my eyes…”

“There’s nothing there?”

“Yes. I mean, I know it’s a dream, but…I have it over and over again. So…”

Sawako’s shoulders trembled. In her hair, there were still lingering traces of a two-month-old perm, but she wasn’t one to take care of herself, and she had obviously paid little attention to it since getting it. And understandably so: there were only four more months left until her entrance exam. Like so many girls, she would make an appointment to have her hair straightened just before the big day and then strive to take good care of it in order to make a good impression at the interview—but at that moment, she simply didn’t have the time to care.

“This…‘shadow’…” Asukai said, interrupting her. “Has it said anything to you?”

She looked up at him, surprised. “Yes! Yes, it has. How did you know?”

Ignoring her question, he asked another, “What did it say? Do you remember?”

“N-no, I…”

“You can’t remember at all?”

“Right,” she nodded.

Not only was the cram school designed to squeeze a large number of people into a very small space to begin with, but the guidance office was hidden in a corner of the building. It was about the size of a prison’s solitary confinement cell—and the two of them were all alone in the tiny room.

There was only one window—a long, thin, vertical slit in the wall, through which a single ray of light penetrated. The light was red. It was already evening.

“Hmm…” Asukai said again, shutting his mouth and looking down at the girl’s chest.

…She has no roots, he thought. Very few leaves…only the buds are large, and they’re almost breaking the stem…

Sawako grew uncomfortable in the silence and began locking her fingers together around her knees.

“Um, Asukai-sensei…?”

“…………”

He didn’t respond.

He had a pointed chin and a thin face with a serene beauty to it. He was not much older than Sawako, just past twenty. He was a student at a public university, but he taught art part time at this cram school—and he had taken over the highly unpopular position of guidance counselor.

“……………”

She looked up at him timidly. At some point, he’d taken his eyes off her and was staring out the window.

“I-I’m sorry, this all must sound crazy…” Sawako whispered, unable to stand it any longer.

Quietly, Asukai said, “As a teacher, I know I’m not supposed to say this. But maybe you should try to take exams a little less seriously.”

“What do you mean?”

“Getting into the best university isn’t going to relieve you of your worries—or guarantee your future,” he continued, almost like he was reading some inspirational pamphlet. “I know a lot of people who slaved away, got into college, and then had no idea what to do once they were there. All they’d ever done was study, and they didn’t know how to just let go and enjoy themselves. So they’d go off to try and pass the civil servants exam or something. They were just pointlessly limiting their options for a…I dunno, a decent future. They meet the person they were supposed to fall in love with, but they don’t recognize how valuable they are and before they realize it, they wind up missing out on the most important things in life.

“They’re college students, but they can’t shake the exam student mentality. And very few people can pass on their first try. Most people fail. They become ronin. They fritter away their precious youth and end up, frankly, really screwed up because of it.”

She just sat there listening, wide-eyed.

“You see?” Asukai asked, turning towards her.

“Um, not…”

“You already know this, don’t you? But you’re doing your very best not to think about it. But doing your best and avoiding the truth—they’re two different things. We can’t tell you not to overdo it, though. The only way to actually pass these tests is to overdo it. But it’s important not to overburden you with excessive—and frankly, unrealistic—expectations. I know you’ve heard this all before, but getting into college is not your whole life. That dream about the shadow is a sign that you’re unconsciously resisting the notion of getting into college. I just think you need to relax a bit.”

“O-okay,” she nodded obediently. “But… But still…”

“Yeah. That’s why you need to work at it. It isn’t a bad thing to want to go to college. It’s not like it’s an impossible dream, either. But it just isn’t healthy to get obsessed with it, you know? At this rate, you’re just going to get overwhelmed by the pressure and be in no condition to actually sit there and take the test.”

“I… I think I understand,” Sawako said meekly.

…The bud relaxed a little, Asukai thought. If she could just sprout a few more leaves… Not that it would take care of all of her problems, but it would be a start.

He was looking at her chest again.

He could see something there.

Nobody else could see it, including the girl herself.

After that, they spoke in more concrete terms about how they should go about handling her problem subjects.

“Thank you very much!” she said as she stood up twenty minutes later.

“Your effort is genuine. All you have to do is just stay calm, and keep moving forward.”

“Okay. And thanks, Sensei,” she said. “I feel much better now. Say, did you ever have some sort of training? Like as a therapist or counselor?”

“Not really.”

“Maybe you should consider a new career. You’re really smart—and good looking, too.” Asukai gave her an awkward smile, and she slapped her hand over her mouth. “Ah! Sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude…!”

“I’ll think about,” he chuckled. “They do say you can’t make a living painting.”

As she was about to leave, Sawako suddenly turned back, remembering something. “Oh, right! Sensei, have you heard the phrase ‘Sometimes it snows in April’?”

“Wh-what?” Asukai said, shocked.

“That’s the only thing I remember from my dream. Oh, but it’s probably not important. Good-bye!” she said brightly as she exited, her gloomy exterior having finally been shed.

“Sometimes…it snows in April?”

For some reason, those words made something stir inside Asukai.

 

***

 

When Asukai Jin thought about his strange ability to see the flaws in people’s hearts, he always remembered Saint-Exupéry’s The Little Prince. He had read it when he was three or four years old, but he remembered one line from it that went something like, “The reason this child was beautiful was because he had a rose within his heart.”

He felt as if that image had been carved into his psyche and left a lasting impression on him.

His eyes could see a single plant growing from every person’s chest. The variety of plant in his vision varied, and they came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, but the problem was not the variety of plant, but the very fact that in every vision, there was some part missing.

Perhaps there was no flower. Or no leaves. No stem. Or, like this girl, no roots. He had never once seen a person that carried a complete plant within their chest.

There was always a flaw.

So, his ‘advice’ was simply to say whatever was needed to compensate for that flaw. If there were no roots, all he had to do was tell them to have more confidence. Everyone would be satisfied by that, and recover their good cheer.

His job at the cram school finished, he walked back to his apartment along a bustling shopping street. He couldn’t help but notice the flaws on everyone’s chests.

It annoyed him, occasionally.

Human effort was entirely devoted to making up for this flaw. He knew this. But he also knew that what they lacked was never in them to begin with, and that it was something that could never be obtained.

He had looked at his own chest before, but he could find nothing there. Presumably, he was lacking something also, and it was that missing item that was making him so unhappy. Unfortunately, there was no way for him to replace it, either.

“…So that’s why I said…”

“…What the…?”

“…Ha ha ha! That’s so dumb…”

Drunks, young people, old people, males, females—they all passed him by. None of them ever thought that they were missing flowers or roots.

(They’re happier not knowing…)

Since he was very young, he had always felt isolated.

Perhaps he always would.

“—Oh, look! Snow!”

“Wow! It’s so pretty!”

Everyone around him was cheering at the sky, so Asukai felt obligated to look up, as well.

Something white was falling out of the night sky.

(I do like snow…)

Snow turned everything white. It was one of his favorite things. Perhaps because flowers never bloomed beneath it. He could go about his business without thinking about anything else…or so he felt.

But when he looked happily up at the sky, his expression suddenly froze.

There was a girl standing in the fifth story window of a nearby building.

Her feet were on the window ledge, her body all the way outside, getting ready to jump.

As he stared up at her, their eyes met.

She smiled slightly with her eyes. Then…

“No…!” Asukai tried to shout, but she flung her body outward into the open air.

Reflexively, Asukai ran towards her.

But his feet went out from under him, and he fell awkwardly.

He hurriedly scrambled back to his feet, but as he looked up again, he saw something impossible.

 

“Heh heh heh.”

 

The girl was floating in mid-air, laughing.

But there was something unique about her smile. Her mouth was closed in a straight line, and her eyes alone smiled, sweet and enchanting.

She was frozen in mid-air, about to fall, but not moving at all.

“Hunh…?” he wondered aloud.

“Hey, wake up! You’re in the way,” snarled a group of drunks, brushing past him.

“D-do you see that?” Asukai asked, pointing at the girl.

None of them paid much attention. “What are you talking about?”

“You’ve had too much to drink!”

They were looking where he was pointing, but none of them could see her.

(Wh-what on earth…?)

He stood up, looking up at her, stunned.

Now that he looked carefully, he could tell that she was actually falling, just very, very slowly. Her tangled hair was moving, swaying.

“Heh heh heh.”

Those laughing eyes drank in the light like holes in the sky.

“It isn’t much fun to see things nobody else can, is it, Asukai-sensei?” he heard her whisper in his ear.

“How…?”

“I know exactly how you feel. I used to be the same.”

Asukai stumbled over, until he was directly below the falling girl.

“Th-then you…”

“Just like your extra sensory perception, I can see people’s deaths.”

Her expression never changed—that tightly closed mouth never moved. It was as if time around her moved at a snail’s pace.

“Deaths?”

“To be more accurate, I can see the energy field generated by all living things just before they burn themselves out.” She laughed again. “I represent a possibility in which people are able to manipulate death. My purpose is to recreate the world in that fashion, which makes me an enemy of the current world. Even in spring, I bring cold. I make it snow in April.”

“Er…”

“Will you help me with my work, Asukai-sensei?”

“What…? What are you talking about? Who are you?!” he shouted.

The people around him looked at him suspiciously. To them, he was shouting at empty space. They must have thought him plastered beyond his limit or tripped out on drugs.

In the air above him, the girl replied, “My enemies call me the Imaginator.”

And she vanished.

“W-wait!” he cried, reaching out towards her, but his fingers only brushed empty air.

“…………”

He was amazed, but then his shoulders slumped in disappointment. He thought to himself that he had finally gone completely insane. Seeing things, it was obvious— then he glanced at his feet and almost shouted.

The falling snow was piled up all around, except at his feet, where a small patch of pavement had been left exposed.

It was like a shadow puppet in the shape of a girl falling from the sky.

 

***

 

When Asukai got back to his apartment, a girl poked her head out of the window of the room next door as if she’d been waiting for him.

“—There you are! Welcome back!” she said brightly. She was Kinukawa Kotoe, the apartment owner’s daughter and also his cousin. Kotoe had talked her parents into letting her use one of the empty rooms as a study. Her own house was about a minute’s walk away.

“Wh-what is it?” he said blankly, still a little out of it.

“Jin-niisan, did you eat yet? I just made some stew; thought you might like some.”

“Um, yeah…thanks.”

“Cool! I’ll bring it over in a minute!” She ducked back into the room.

Kotoe was always like this. Asukai’s father had died two years before, and he was renting a room in his uncle’s apartment building. But that was the extent of their involvement. Asukai had a scholarship covering his university’s tuition, but his art supplies, living expenses, and rent all had to be covered by the money he made from his meager cram school salary. About the only liberty he had taken was to rent the room without a guarantor, but Kotoe had taken it upon herself to look after him.

Seeing Kotoe up and in her usual cheerful mood actually helped Asukai calm his nerves a little.

(Whether that was an illusion or not, it’s not like I’ve never seen anything that outright bizarre before…)

If he kept his cool, he could deal with this, just like he always had.

He entered his apartment, splashed his face a few times with water from his bathroom sink, and turned to find Kotoe coming in with a big pot in her hands.

“Okay! Today’s dinner is especially good—if I do say so myself!”

She set the table briskly, as if this were her own room, and placed a steaming hot bowl in front of a slightly embarrassed Asukai.

“It does look good. Thanks.”

“Jin-niisan, you look kinda tired. Everything okay?”

“Yeah…it’s just a busy time of year. My students are all feeling it, and I catch it from them.”

“That sucks.”

“It’s not like you won’t be going through the same thing next year yourself.”

Kotoe was a second year student at a local prefectural school called Shinyo Academy.

“Yeah, well…I dunno if I’m goin’ to college…”

She glanced up at him.

“Or maybe…I just could go to your cram school and you could teach me…”

“When did you decide to go to art school? I teach art history and design, you know.”

“But you also do counseling, right? I could use some of that…”

“We can do that here anytime for free. No reason to sign up where I work.”

“Really?” Kotoe beamed.

“But the kids I counsel are all very serious people. Not so sure about you…” he teased, winking.

“That’s so mean! Like you think I’m some sort of airhead!” she said, puffing out her cheeks and pouting. But she couldn’t keep it up, and soon they were both laughing.

Kotoe let out a little sigh. “I guess I do come across like that…”

“And thank god you do. You’re better off not needing my help,” Asukai said sincerely, lowering his spoon.

“Mm?”

“I think people need to work their way through their own problems. And with the tests…I’m a cram school teacher, so there’s a lot I can’t say. I can’t tell them they don’t need to go to college…even if they really shouldn’t be trying…”

He glanced over at Kotoe’s chest.

She had no ‘flower.’

What she did have was a bountiful amount of leaves, which were the domain of kindness and warmth, and her stem and roots were equally secure. But there was no flower to be found.

Kotoe was a good girl. She wasn’t bad looking. Her parents owned several apartment buildings and were obviously rich. There was no reason at all for her to be unhappy.

But deep in her heart, she wondered, Why have I never come across anything definitively radiant? Sometimes she would see a really ordinary, average person who was completely passionate about some insignificant thing. This would devastate her—she would be terribly jealous of them.

But there was nothing she could do about it.

She lacked that passion, and she would never have it.

“Jin-niisan, you just need to chill,” Kotoe said, trying to use her usual hip slang to cheer him up. She could never guess what he was looking at, not even in her wildest dreams. “You spend way too much time stressing over other people. You’ve gotta at least try to make things a little easier on yourself, you know.” She nodded, oddly forceful.

“Th-thanks. But now I don’t know which of us is getting counseled,” Asukai grinned.

“Nothing is futile! There is always a path—even if it’s towards something that doesn’t exist yet,” she proclaimed.

“Um…yeah, I guess.” Asukai nodded, but with no conviction. “I wish I could think that…”

“But that path may be a trifle…cruel… It might even go against all that this world deems just.” Her voice was so certain; it seemed almost scornful.

“…Huh?” Asukai looked up. That didn’t sound like something Kotoe would say.

He froze.

The vision at her chest had vanished.

It had been there just a moment before, but now he could see nothing.

And her expression—her mouth was closed in a straight line, her eyes alone sparkling, laughing—

“Wh-who are you?!” Asukai cried out, leaping to his feet.

“Relax. I am only borrowing her body…temporarily,” the girl with Kotoe’s face whispered.

“Wh-what?!”

“This girl’s psyche is not capable of becoming my vessel,” she said quietly. “I must leave her in a moment.”

“You weren’t a delusion…you were a ghost?”

“No…not a ghost,” she said, standing to face him. “To be completely accurate, I am a ‘hypothetical possibility given substance.’ But for your feeble mind, consider me ‘a glimpse of the future.’”

She reached towards Asukai’s forehead. She stroked it gently with both hands.

“Asukai-sensei, don’t you feel it’s time you…did something?”

“About what?”

“The flaws found in human hearts.”

Her soft, gentle fingertips massaged Asukai’s face, firmly.

He moaned. The sensation was sweet and hard to resist.

“What do you think your flaw is, Asukai-sensei?”

“………?!”

“You lack a ‘calling.’” Her voice was peaceful, yet firm.

“…Eh?”

“Let me show you a little glimpse of the future.”

She pulled his face towards hers, arched her back, and placed her thin lips upon his.

Instantly, something opened in Asukai’s head.

A torrent of images cascaded past him.

“Ah…aaauuughhhhhh!” he screamed, forcing her away.

She never flinched, simply staggered once and then stared back at him again.

“Hahh…hahh…” Asukai gasped for breath. “Wh-what was that…that spectacle?”

“Your ‘calling,’ Asukai-sensei.”

“L-like hell! I would never do something like that!”

“The choice is yours. But you are capable of it. Nothing will change the truth of that. The reason for your birth is there…and only there.”

“Shut up! What…what are you, some sort of demon?! I…I…” he wheezed, unable to find the words.

“Am I tempting you? No. That’s not my intent. It’s up to you to decide.” Her eyes alone laughed. “But, Asukai-sensei, remember this. Birds do fall from the sky, and sometimes it does snow in April.”

“Get away!”

Asukai flung the contents of his stew bowl at her.

She made no effort to dodge, but simply stood there and took it.

A moment later there was a scream. “Ow! Wh-what the heck?!”

Asukai gasped.

Kotoe was back.

“A-are you…”

“Why…why am I…? Gross!!!” Kotoe said, confused; she no idea what was going on. Her memories didn’t match up.

Asukai wiped her face off with a towel, trying to keep his body from shaking.

(…What did she call herself? The Imaginator…?)

 

***

 

He might well be going crazy, but that was no reason to skip work. Asukai was at the cram school again, speaking with yet another student.

“I can’t do this anymore. It’s not for me. Like, in the middle of the night, I can be taking notes…and my hands just start shaking,” the girl said, nodding to herself, over and over.

There was no stem in the girl’s ‘vision.’ She had roots, but they connected directly into the leaves and base of the flower.

“You need a change,” Asukai answered, though he knew it was useless. This girl was afraid that nothing in her being would ever be secure. No matter how often she tried something new, her anxiety would always be there. Whether she passed the exam or not, nothing would change.

“What should I do?”

“Take a break, do whatever you like. Or change the way you study. You’ve got a good memory, don’t you?”

People without stems were good at stuffing things in. But they were unable to turn that knowledge and experience into anything, to nurture it or let it grow. They could put in as much as they liked, but it would just pile up, never changing, never rotting.

“I suppose so…”

“Then spend one week concentrating on solving equations. Halve the number of things to memorize.”

“Ah…b-but…” She hesitated. Yet with a clear goal placed in front of her, her eyes shone. Her type had no conscious goals of their own, so they tended to relax if you gave them one. “Will that work?”

“I’m sure you can do it. Your percentile’s been going up,” Asukai replied. He wanted to add, That won’t save you, though, but he let the words die in his throat. It was futile.

“Okay! I’ll try it. Sensei, thank you so much!”

“You’re the one who has to do the work.”

“No, it’s because you really know how to help people. Everyone says so! Seems such a shame to waste that kind of talent on a cram school.”

“Hey, now.”

“Asukai-sensei, I think you were meant to do something much more important. Yeah, you probably were.”

“Hmm… Who knows?”

 

You are capable of it. Nothing will change the truth of that.

 

“I just can’t get into it,” the boy said, sullenly.

“Hmm… Your first results were pretty good, but they haven’t improved at all,” Asukai said, looking up from the boy’s file and checking the vision at his chest.

No leaves.

This type took no pleasure in life. Since his flower and stem were doing pretty well, he was fully capable of better things, but everything he tried dried up around him.

“I know I gotta do better…”

“Studying bores you, right?” Asukai said bluntly and to the point.

The boy nodded, wryly. “Basically.”

“You know why?” Asukai’s tone changed, becoming sort of chummy.

“Nope.”

“‘Cause it’s boring. What other reason is there?” he grinned. This was all part of the performance.

“Well, shit, if you put it that way…” the boy said, grinning back. Anyone else would lose their motivation if their teacher talked to them like this, but with this type there was no risk of that.

“Look, I know it’s tedious as hell. And you’re expected to do whatever us teachers tell you to do…so how’s that ever gonna be fun? All we’re doing is just following some stupid rulebook anyway.”

“Ha ha ha!”

“When you get down to it, passing tests is a matter of understanding the system. You know why I can work part time here, right? It’s not like I’ve got a teaching license or anything.”

“Well…you got experience, right?”

“Yep. Few years ago, just like you, I was trying to pass these exams. I kept hitting all these brick walls and I was just banging my head trying to figure out an easy way to pass. Now, I make a living passing on all those little tricks I figured out.”

“Ah ha! I get ya.”

“See? Studying has some use after all.”

“Not just for getting into college, you mean?”

“Exactly. These days, getting into a good college doesn’t even mean that much. You only go because you have to go. Still, that’s no reason to kill yourself studying. But if you look at it as training… Look, I don’t know what it is you want to be—but whatever it is, you’re gonna have to develop a few tricks—a few techniques. Think of all this as, like, a simulation. No, think of them like a game. There aren’t that many other times in your life where society itself and all of the people around you will just up and support you, but this is one of those times. It gives you the freedom to experiment.”

Personally, Asukai just thought he was talking crap, but the boy sitting across from him was visibly happier.

“Never thought of it that way…”

“Yeah, just think of the test itself as just another chance to gather data and experiment.”

“Right…”

“But in that sense, you’ve got a little catching up to do. On these results, you’ll end up in a second rate school. That’d suck, right? Waste of a good opportunity.”

This was a little logical slight of hand, but the boy never noticed.

People with no leaves feel like they aren’t connected to the world around them. No matter what they do, they can never feel peace of mind when they are around other people. To compensate, they pretty much lose themselves in methodology. They know all sorts of approaches to things and all sorts of tricks, but all they’re doing is trying to make up for an inability to communicate with others.

Being nice to them, praising them…it’s all useless. Staying firmly on a practical ground worked best.

But the end result of all of their tricks only served to drive them even further into isolation. Since nobody else needed these tricks, they couldn’t understand how much work went into them. Those of the same type were especially cruel—if they happened to be using different methodologies.

None of them would ever find an “ally.”

“Okay, I’ll try it out.” Drawn along by Asukai’s friendly manner, the boy was now completely comfortable.

“You’ve still got plenty of time,” Asukai nodded. He didn’t dare add, But all your efforts and memories will never be appreciated by anyone else. That revelation would only be utterly futile.

“But, Sensei…” the boy said. “What are you planning on doing when you get out of college?”

“Dunno. Probably try and make a living painting.”

“Seems like a waste, man. You ought to start your own business, do something big. Seriously.” His eyes were serious, no sense of the mocking that this type so often engaged in.

“Maybe.”

 

You lack a ‘calling.’

 

“I keep having this dream over and over.”

“What kind?”

“Um, well. Sensei…have you ever heard the phrase ‘Sometimes it snows in April’?”

“Uh…n-no, can’t say that I have. Wh-why?”

“In the dream, someone—I don’t know who—keeps saying that to me. When I hear those words, I just don’t care about anything anymore. This stupid test, this ugly world—they just don’t matter to me. Not anymore.”

“…………”

“But whoever it is, they are a little too nice…and that’s sort of scary. When I wake up, it feels like someone just threw a bucket of cold water in my face. Brrr…”

“…………”

“And after I have that dream, I can’t do anything. I had one the day before the last practice test, and I couldn’t figure out a single problem.”

“…………”

“Sensei…is there something wrong with me?”

“…………”

“Sensei? Uh, Asukai-sensei?”

“—Ah! Oh, uh, hmm?”

“Something wrong?”

“Oh, no. It’s nothing.”

 

***

 

When the last student left, Asukai tried several times to sketch that face.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t draw it well enough, and he crumpled up all of his attempted pages and flung them into the corner of the counseling office, missing the wastebasket.

Afterwards, he knelt down to collect them all and wondered to himself, What the hell am I doing…?

He sighed, balled up the failed sketches as tightly as he could, and buried them deep within the office wastebasket.

 

***

 

Several days passed like this, repeating the same answers over and over for an endless progression of identical worries, occasionally encountering the phrase Sometimes it snows in April among them.

Then one day, as he walked along the streets after work, he heard a groan from a back alley.

“Unh…unh…s-somebody…” he heard, faintly.

“…?” He turned off the main road, heading towards the voice.

“Please…somebody…” It sounded like a girl’s voice and in great pain, barely gasping out the words.

“Is somebody there?” Asukai called out. There was no answer.

He moved deeper into the alley, and found a girl slumped against the cul-de-sac.

“Unhhhhhhhhh,” she groaned.

“What’s the matter?” Asukai asked as he went over to her and placed his hand upon her back.

Instantly, his hand was flung off.

The girl sprang up like a jack-in-the-box, launching herself towards him, and slamming his back against the wall. “Don’t move,” she snarled, with sudden menace. There was a carving knife in her hand.

“You’re…” Asukai looked at her face. She was very, very thin—like a skeleton. It was painful to look at her. Her hair was a brittle and matted mess, not at all that of a young girl.

“Heh…heh…that was stupid of you, Asukai-sensei. Even this country’s pretty dangerous these days. I knew a sap like you would fall for it!” she sneered, breathing raggedly.

“You were after me…? Imazaki Shizuko, isn’t it? You were in my spring course, weren’t you?”

She had come to him for counseling once.

“Heh…heh… I’m surprised you remembered.” She was gasping for breath. Her eyes were red, bloodshot. It was clear she was on something, presumably some sort of chemical. “But it ain’t gonna get you off. Give me all the money you got.”

“To buy drugs…? What happened to you? You were such a good student…”

“My dad got arrested for tax evasion or something! Made everything so futile! But what do you care?! Just hand it over!!!” The girl screamed, hysterical.

“………” Asukai looked at the tip of the knife. It was shaking. Her grip on it was so tight she couldn’t keep it pointed at him. It would be easy to dodge it.

But he suddenly felt a turmoil of emotion welling up inside him.

Everything seemed so ridiculous—directionless anger abruptly gushed forth from deep within his heart.

“No,” he said, crisply, before he even realized it.

“What?” The girl said, looking even fiercer.

“Go ahead and kill me,” Asukai spat.

“I’m serious!”

“So am I!” he roared. “You think you can escape by taking drugs? That doesn’t do any good! No matter how high you get, there’s no saving us!”

“Sh-shut up! You’re just scared!” The girl moved the knife closer, touching Asukai’s throat.

“Try it!” he yelled, and she put her anger into it, pushing forward.

The knife slipped past, his skin sliced open, and blood came out. She had missed his jugular by a hair’s breadth, and he had narrowly escaped death, but Asukai was unaware of this.

The girl toppled over. She didn’t have the strength left to keep her footing.

A number of little packets spilled out of her pocket onto the ground—little packets of drugs.

“——!” Asukai frowned down at them. This was hardly for her personal use. With this quantity, there was no reason for her to be trying to mug people. Which meant…

“…Exactly. These are for other people,” the girl said, rising slowly to her feet—no, this was no longer the same girl.

Her eyes were laughing, but she had no expression.

“Y-you again.” Asukai glared at the thing inhabiting the girl, ignoring the blood dripping from his neck.

“Just to be clear, I took over only a few seconds ago. Most of your encounter was of her own free will,” she said coldly. “If you can call that free will. It’s not like she wanted to do it. She’s a girl. If she needed money, there are faster and safer ways for her to get it. But once her body’s been torn to pieces like this, those options vanish.”

“Shut up!” Despite the fact that the girl had tried to stab him, hearing her insulted made him furious.

“Do you know what these drugs are for, Asukai-sensei?”

The thing inhabiting the girl’s body pointed at the ground.

“She was selling them?”

“Exactly. The dosage is too weak for her now—it’s beginner’s strength. If she wanted more drugs for herself, she had to sell these to other people. That’s what they told her. But she couldn’t bring herself to do that.”

She pointed towards her chest.

“Such a sad story. Didn’t want to make any more people like her, but what else could she do? So she asked you, the only person she could ever remember being nice to her.”

“………”

“But either way, Asukai-sensei, this girl was finished.”

“What do you mean?”

“The drugs have destroyed her body. She won’t last out the month. She’s going to die. Futile, pitiful, miserable, and sad,” she sneered.

“………”

“But you might be able to do something,” she said, picking up the knife, and stabbing it deep into her own neck.

“——!”

For a second, the girl’s blood sprayed out, filling the air; and then she fell over.

“Aiiieeeee!” There was a scream.

At the end of the alley, a woman walking by had seen this. She quickly ran away.

Asukai rushed over to the girl.

She was gasping. Her face was back to normal. She was gone.

“Shit…!” Asukai pushed his handkerchief against the girl’s wound, but half her blood had already emptied out of her in a massive geyser.

Eyes hollow, the girl whispered, “……It………t…”

Asukai leaned close, putting his ear to her lips.

“…mn it, damn it, damn it,” she swore. Cursing everything in the world. “Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it, da—!”

Asukai stared down at the girl. She had no choice but to stay angry until the very end.

He grit his teeth, and put his hand on her chest.

It was so much easier than he’d thought.

 

***

 

“Let me get this straight… Moments after she assaulted you, she suddenly stabbed herself in the throat? That’s your story?” The detective asked. He was speaking to the key witness, who had stayed by the side of the body until the patrol cars arrived.

“Yes,” Asukai said instantly. There was a bandage around his neck, applied by the doctor at the police hospital.

“You say you knew this girl?”

“Yes. Her name is Imazaki Shizuko. She’s about eighteen. I don’t know her address, but it’s probably still in the files at the cram school. I taught her last spring.” He answered smoothly, without faltering. No emotion.

“Did she have something against you? Any idea what?”

“Maybe. She came to me for counseling, but I guess I didn’t help her much.”

“Well, from what we’ve been able to ascertain, her family situation was at the root of it,” the detective admitted. He’d decided Asukai’s calm responses proved his innocence. “She had reason enough to kill herself.”

“Suicide?”

“Yeah. She wouldn’t have lasted much longer, anyway. The drugs had wrecked her system. The way she died was comparatively pain-free. Overdosing’s a nasty way to go. Truth is…we’d had our eyes on her for dealing for a while now. I can tell you that she wasn’t much good at it. Heart wasn’t in it.”

“You knew about her?”

“She was low level for another pusher that we’re after, but the big man still hasn’t shown his face.”

You knew, but didn’t save her?! Asukai’s poker face hid this thought perfectly.

“You’ll be free to go soon. We’ve got a witness, so we know you didn’t kill her. Soon as we wrap things up here, you can leave.”

“Thank you,” Asukai bowed his head.

The investigation was over soon enough, and he signed and stamped his statement as directed. Asukai rose to leave.

“Oh, Asukai-san… This is just my own personal question, but…” the detective started.

“What?”

“While she was dying, did you say something to her?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean anything. Just that girl, dying that way…her face was awfully peaceful. Like the thorns in her heart had all been plucked away. If something you said put her mind at ease, then you must be one hell of a teacher.” The aging detective nodded keenly.

“Sorry, I… I didn’t say anything,” Asukai replied quietly, and left the room.

 

***

 

Soon, Asukai found himself walking through the evening streets again.

For every alley he found, he stopped, and peered down it looking for some sort of sign. His eyes never missed a thing, like the eyes of a hawk searching for its next target.

Then he heard a sound, like something falling over. Like the girl’s moans, the sound was so faint nobody else around even noticed.

“————”

But he turned instantly, and went down the alley towards the sound’s origin.

He found some people there. Seven in all—six boys and a girl.

Something was clearly going on—the girl’s clothes were torn, her naked and vulnerable upper body exposed. Five of the boys stood around her, reaching towards her. One stood to the side, dazed, blood running from his mouth.

“Well, this is easy to figure out!” Asukai’s voice boomed.

All the boys spun towards him.

“—! Wh-who are you?!”

“Just to make sure, I’d better ask. You there,” Asukai pointed to the odd boy out, the one who’d clearly been beaten. “Do you want to save this girl?”

The confidence in Asukai’s voice brought the boy out of his daze. He quickly nodded, “Y-yes.”

“Then take her and run!” Asukai said, walking straight through the boys, taking the girl’s arm, and pulling her out.

“Hey!” The boys said, lurching towards Asukai.

“Hmph,” he snorted, and did something to one of them, too fast for anyone to see.

The boy fell over backwards.

“——?!”

The others shrank backwards, surprised. Asukai pushed the unresisting girl towards the bleeding boy. “Go! Get out of here!!”

“Th-thank you,” the boy mumbled, scrambling away. He grabbed the girl’s hand,and ran.

“Wait!” the others shouted, but when they tried to follow, they found Asukai between them.

“You wait,” he said, a fearless smile on his face.

“Oh, yeah?!” they shouted, pulling knives from their pockets.

Asukai didn’t bat an eyelash at the blades. “I’ve got no grudge against you,” he said. “But I need a few more samples.”

 

***

 

One minute later—

Everyone else was sprawled on the ground. Only one of the boy thugs was still standing.

Strangely enough, all of their injuries were caused by each other’s knives.

“Ah…ahhhh…” the last boy moaned, his teeth chattering together. Asukai came over to him, waving his right hand over his chest.

“Wh-wh-wh-what did you do to them?” the boy asked.

“You wouldn’t understand. But I haven’t hurt them. I’ve given them happiness.”

His words, his calm, scared the boy more than anything else in his short life.

“Wh-what the hell are you?”

“Mm? Let’s see… What was that name?” Asukai looked behind him.

The girl hanging in the sky above him replied, “Imaginator!”

“Right…that,” Asukai grinned…and his right hand snapped out towards the boy.

There was a muffled scream.