Chapter VI

Chapter VI

 

Because I’m a complete idiot, it took me half the day to sort things out.

I just sat in Orihata’s empty apartment, flat on my ass, trying to work out what was bugging me.

(What is it? There’s gotta be something…)

When I got hungry, I ate some Calorie Mate I had left in my pocket. I pondered as I ate. But as I thought, I guess I must have dozed off. When my eyes snapped open again, several hours had passed.

“Sh-shit…!”

I looked at my watch, panicking. It was broken. I must have smashed it on something during the fight, or maybe the stun gun my sister hit me with took it out. I had only just now noticed.

(When I got to the bus stop, the bus had come right away, so I never even glanced at my watch…)

I looked around the room.

Nope, there were no clocks. No TV or stereo either.

What now? I couldn’t just sit here. I had no clues, but just as I stood up to go out and look for her anyway, it finally hit me.

“Oh…”

I was standing in the middle of an empty room.

There was nothing in it.

Nothing at all…

I looked along the walls towards the corners, and that’s when I found it.

The phone jack had the lid down. There was nothing hooked up to it.

There was no phone in her apartment…

But I had called her here many, many times. Which means…

“I wasn’t actually calling her home phone!”

I’m such an idiot.

I bolted out of the apartment and onto the road, looking around frantically.

Nothing.

“Shit!”

I ran and ran, and at last, five hundred meters down the road, I found a pay phone in front of a convenience store.

I grabbed the receiver like an infant grabbing his mother’s knee, jammed my phone card into it, and stabbed the phone number I had seared into my memory.

“Come on, pick up… Pick up…!”

Orihata’s phone was a cell phone.

She might still have it with her. Wherever she was, I could call her!

It rang and rang and rang.

“Damn it! Pick up…!” I shouted, fretting.

I’m sure it was less than twenty seconds, but it felt more like twenty minutes to me.

At last, there was a click as someone answered.

“Orihata! Orihata, is that you?!” I cried.

There was no response.

“Hello…? Hello!” I could feel my voice rising, getting worked up.

I kept on calling her name.

After what seemed like an eternity of silence, at last I heard a faint voice on the line go, “Ah…” And I knew instantly. It was Orihata’s voice. I almost burst into tears. It was her.

“Hello? Orihata, it’s me, Taniguchi Masaki!”

“…Yes, I know,” she said, sounding very distant.

“Are you safe, Orihata?”

“Y-yes… N-no. Why do you ask?” she said, awkwardly. It sounded like she had nodded, then corrected herself?

“Kinukawa was arrested by the police…did you hear?”

“Really…?”

“What about you? Are you in any danger?”

“Not really.”

“Kinukawa-san was brainwashed apparently, so…”

“—Yes. Please, don’t blame her…”

“Is someone there with you? Are they…making you do anything?” I didn’t know how to ask this.

“…………”

“I might be out of line saying this, but I want to help you. I want to save you.”

Sort of a corny line, but I genuinely meant it.

“…………”

“Orihata, you… I mean, maybe you’re just fed up with me by now, but I really don’t mind being used. So, just go ahead and use me anytime you want to. I really did like being with you, and that was enough for me… So anything more than that, I… Your…”

As I babbled, I could feel my sentences making less and less sense.

I felt like nothing I said was getting through.

No matter what I said, no matter how much I meant it… it was never enough.

“Masaki…” she said, quietly.

“Y-yes?”

“That’s enough. I don’t need you anymore,” she said, bluntly.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

“You should find yourself a better…normal girl. You shouldn’t see me anymore.”

“N-no, that’s not… I don’t…”

“No. We’re finished.”

“Uh, Orihata—”

“You know by now? What I’ve done?”

“I-I—”

“No matter what they told you, it’s all true. It never occurred to you that I was like that, did it?”

“Well—”

“I’m sorry. That’s what I am. I don’t know what you expected from me, but that’s all there is.”

“But—”

“I lied to you. I betrayed you. Wake up and look around you, Masaki. You’re an idiot!”

“But…I’m in love with you!” I shouted, forgetting everything but that truth.

 

***

 

“……………!”

The voice echoing out of the phone momentarily robbed Aya of words.

The pretense she’d barely managed to maintain was crumbling beneath her. Her face flushed, her throat trembled. She couldn’t talk.

Her hands were still handcuffed behind her, and someone else was holding the phone for her. She was speaking into the receiver Asukai Jin was silently holding out for her. Her hands were empty, but covered in sweat. She balled them up, trying to stop them from shaking.

“H-how can you say…” she managed, stifling the quaver in her voice.

She had to.

She couldn’t rely on Masaki here.

She couldn’t drag him any further into this. She couldn’t bear it any longer.

She could never tell him how she felt.

“Where are you, Orihata?”

“N-none of your business!”

She wanted to see him.

One more time, with her own eyes.

But those feelings were her enemy now.

She could only protect Masaki if he hated her. That was the only way.

She remembered what Suema Kazuko had said, on the roof of the school.

It’s impossible to live without someone hating you… You’re missing the concept of that ‘struggle.’ And you really need to get that.

Now was that moment.

She had to fight her enemy, had to struggle with her own emotions.

“F-forget about me—leave me alone…!”

But she couldn’t say it forcefully.

“Orihata…!” Masaki’s voice didn’t falter.

Aya couldn’t talk anymore. “G-goodbye…” she managed. Tears made her voice sound funny.

“…………”

Asukai Jin watched Aya’s suffering with mechanical detachment.

When it became obvious that Aya was not going to speak anymore, he held the phone to his own ear.

“…Is someone else there?” the boy’s voice asked, with surprising perception.

Asukai did not reply.

“I know you’re listening. I don’t know who you are, but you’re standing right next to her, aren’t you?”

“…………”

“I don’t give a shit who you are. You do anything to Orihata, and I guarantee you that I’ll be your enemy. And I will fight you for her!”

“……………” Asukai looked down at Aya.

She had not heard this last speech. Her head was down, her body quivering—she was crying.

He looked at her, but this did not change Asukai’s expression.

“Hey! Are you lis—” and Asukai hung up, cutting the boy off.

A second later, he heard the distinctive roar of an airplane passing through the sky over the Paisley Park construction site.

The noise grew in strength, and was soon easily identifiable.

(Did he hear that…? No, it was still too faint. He won’t have recognized it…)

The phone rang again, but Asukai shut it off.

He spoke to Aya. “Satisfied?”

“……………”

“You were happy to hear his voice.”

She looked up at him and—surprisingly—nodded. “Yes.”

She wasn’t forcing herself. She honestly meant it.

“Okay. Then your life was not in vain. In that respect, you have the advantage on me,” Asukai said, smiling faintly.

 

***

 

“…………!”

I looked up.

Nothing. I couldn’t see any sign of it.

(No! It’s gotta be there! It’s gotta be somewhere close!)

With a feeling bordering on faith, I searched the sky. If anyone had seen me, I must have looked like I was searching for UFOs.

At last I found it.

A black shadow, high up in the air. The sky was gradually darkening, and I could just make out the flashing lights on the tips of the wings.

I took the direction it was flying into consideration…

(It’s heading this way, so…it must have been over there…which means…)

The more I thought, the uneasier I grew.

I heard an airplane—I think. I was hardly certain.

But airplanes can be heard over an absurdly large area. Was I going to search it all?

(Like I have any choice…)

The lights of the airplane were getting closer, and now I could pick up the sound.

“——!”

Oh—!

Even when you can see the airplane, you can’t necessarily hear it yet. Light travels faster than sound. There’s a gap between the moment you see it, and the time the sound actually reaches your ears.

(So that means…it was further away than it was when I found it…)

My imagination sprang into action, making a mental map of the air.

(That means…it came from outside of the city?)

There was nothing but mountains there. Nobody lived out there. It was completely deserted.

(Or wait… I did hear something about an abandoned construction site…)

I felt myself getting excited.

That was it. It had to be!

“That’s where she is!”

I started running.

I burst out onto a nearby street, saw that it was deserted, found a motorcycle parked by the side of the road, and crouched down to look at the lock.

The key wasn’t in the ignition or anything, but I knew how to get the engine started. You tend to pick up a few tricks when you spend your time living abroad.

Sure, I didn’t have a license or anything, but I’d driven one before.

“Sorry. Next time, use a chain!” I muttered to the absent owner, and opened the throttle.

 

***

 

“…I was so worried about you. Oh, well. At least you’re safe…” Kinukawa Kotoe’s mother said, happily arranging flowers in Kotoe’s private hospital room.

Kotoe stared absently at the ceiling.

“………”

It was white, but the slanting rays of the sun gave it a reddish color.

She was still under the supervision of the police. Once she was released, she would have a lot of questions to answer, but her father was in a prominent position in the city, and she was being treated well. It was very easy for people to get permission to visit her like this.

“Is there anything you’d like me to bring you, Kotoe?”

“Mom…”

“Yes?”

“What’s going to happen to me?” she whispered.

“Don’t worry! You have nothing to worry about. Your father said so! He didn’t even need to put any pressure on anyone. The police just took care of everything on their own. There’s even talk of them actually giving you some sort of award!”

“………” That wasn’t what she’d meant, but Kotoe didn’t try to explain herself.

“Oh, that reminds me. About Jin-kun…” her mother suddenly said.

Kotoe turned to look. “Jin-niisan? What about him?”

“It sounds like he’s suddenly decided to study abroad!”

“Eh…?”

“He came by this morning. He said they can only take so many people, and that he has to leave immediately. He told me to say, ‘Hi’ to you. That boy is doing so well!”

“He’s…gone?”

“Yes…he said someone would be round to pick up his things at the apartment later.”

“…………”

“You were friends with him, right? You’ll miss him?”

“Yeah…” Kotoe nodded, expressionless.

There was a knock at the door.

“Yes?” her mother said, opening it.

There was a policeman in the hall. “Excuse me, but there’s someone asking to see her. Is that okay?”

“Someone?”

“Says she’s friends with your daughter,” the policeman said, turning sideways so they could see the girl standing behind him.

“I’m Suema Kazuko. I spoke with you on the phone, once…”

“Oh, yes, I remember you! I recognize your voice.”

“I wanted to speak with Kinukawa-san, if I could…”

“Just a moment.” Her mother went back into the room. “Your friend Suema-san is here,” she said.

“Suema-san…?”

“If you’re too tired, we can ask her to come back.”

“Uh, n-no… I want to see her. Please, let her in. And Mom…?”

“Yes?”

“C-could we have some privacy?”

Her mother was slightly surprised, but agreed pleasantly.

Suema Kazuko came in as her mother left, and closed the door.

“How are you feeling?” she said gently, following the standard progression of a sickbed visit.

“Fine.”

“That’s good,” Suema said and smiled.

There didn’t seem to be anything lurking behind that smile, so Kotoe relaxed a little.

“S-surprised? Didn’t think I’d end up like this…?” she asked, hesitantly.

“Yes, well. I guess it was a bit unexpected,” Suema said, very sweetly. “But not as surprising as it was earlier.”

“Earlier?”

“When I heard how everyone’s opinion of you had changed.”

Kotoe looked down. “I can imagine…”

“They were pretty harsh.”

“Yeah…”

“’Course, soon as your warrior legend spreads, that ought to change pretty quickly. People’s reputations can change just like that.” Suema was grinning now.

Kotoe felt like something warm was rising out of her chest. She had been right, she thought. This girl would accept anything.

“Thank you. So, uh, did you come to cheer me up?”

“Nope,” Suema shook her head. “I needed to ask you something point-blank.”

“What?”

“Who or what was controlling you?”

 

***

 

I asked Kotoe, as directly as I could.

I knew it was a leap, but I was sure of myself.

Kotoe’s eyes widened.

But I didn’t flinch. I’m used to people thinking I’m weird.

I stood there, staring at her silently.

After a long pause of nothingness, she asked, “How did you know?”

This was hard to explain, but I had to say something before she would answer.

“Um, how can I put this… Humans tend to follow certain patterns. I don’t mean stuff like, ‘that girl’s pretty, so she’s stuck-up,’ or anything like that. No, I mean everyone has a good and a bad side, you know? They’re sensitive to some things and totally clueless about others. We all have a certain balance.”

I’d found this out when I was almost killed. The person that was going to kill me was just an ordinary guy, with an ordinary job—maybe too ordinary. I’d thought a lot about why he had tried to kill me, but I could only come up with one explanation.

He was too ordinary.

That was it. There was no other reason.

I believe that was his balance.

“So your balance, or whatever you want to call it, didn’t match up with the way you changed. If you changed, you would change in a different way. Sure, I might be wrong, but…”

But every time I started talking like this, I would start to wonder if it wasn’t me that was the strange one.

Despite what I was saying, I didn’t believe for a second that because Kotoe was a nice girl she wouldn’t do anything strange.

But if she ever did do something strange, it would have been something else. That’s all.

“…………”

Kotoe’s eyes were still wide open. Guess she hadn’t followed my drift. I’m not entirely sure I had myself, so that was probably only natural.

“Putting it a little more bluntly, you’re a bit dense and haven’t really realized what it means to be pretty and rich, like you are. I’d be surprised if you were actually able take that in quickly.”

“…!” Kotoe gasped.

I couldn’t blame her; even I thought it was a little harsh.

“Sorry, it’s just…that’s what I thought,” I said, apologetically.

Kotoe hung her head, but said nothing.

I couldn’t think of anything else.

After a long pause, Kotoe at last said, “But…”

“Mm?”

“But I… I don’t…remember very well.”

“Starting when?”

“You called me once, right? I know I was normal then. A little after that… I don’t really know what I was doing anymore,” she said slowly, but surely.

I was again impressed by her strength.

I’d been so critical of her, and she had just sat there and took it. It’s amazing.

“Right after I called?”

“No…awhile later. You told me not to see Jin-niisan, and I remember being shocked by that…”

“S-sorry. That was…”

“No, forget it. I… Right, I went where I always go when I’m depressed, and I remember staring at the sky…wondering silly things like, is it going to snow? That’s the last thing I remember. After that, everything’s just a strange blur.” She looked very sad.

“Where is that?”

“Paisley Park. The amusement park they never finished. There’s a tower there, called The Ladder. You know it?”

“Yeah, I do. Your father was part of that?”

“Yes. I had a key… I didn’t go there because I’m rich or anything.” There was a note of sadness in her voice.

“S-sorry. Please forget I said that.”

“No, I don’t mean that… I just thought, I’m so stupid. So childish,” she said. Her head was down. She was trembling. “I can barely remember… But Jin-niisan said goodbye to me.”

“…………”

“We won’t meet again. I know that, but…I’m so childish, so stupid—”

Her shoulders quivered with a tiny, shriveled, lonely shiver.

“Kinukawa-san…are you still in love with Asukai Jin?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I don’t know. I really don’t know…not anymore… But… but…” Her grip tightened on her sheet. Tears began dropping on her fists. “But I want to see him again. I want him to laugh at me and make fun of me with his, ‘Kotoe-chan, you’re so shallow.’ And then, I want to fight about it… I want him to laugh at me for getting angry…”

After that, she couldn’t manage any more words.

I went over to her and gave her a hug.

I brushed her hair quietly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do something. I promised, didn’t I? I’ll do something.”

I felt like her loneliness was being transmitted directly to me with each tremble.

 

***

 

When I reached the first floor lobby, my friend Miyashita Touka, who’d come with me, came running over.

“So? How was she?”

“Touka… Sorry, but can you go home ahead of me?” I said, so harshly it must have sounded rude.

“Why?” she asked, surprised, peering at my face. I didn’t have the freedom to worry about her feelings.

“There’s somewhere I have to go,” I snapped.

“Wh-where?”

“To look for The Ladder.”

I couldn’t wait here. I had to go there now. I knew that much.

I was furious.

I’d only met the man once, but I could have killed him.

I wanted to tie a rope around Asukai Jin’s neck and drag him back down here to apologize to Kinukawa Kotoe…!

“Suema, w-wait—!” Touka’s flustered voice called after me as I burst out of the hospital and into the sunset outside.