2

The adventure only begins for real when you can choose the destination yourself

“Happy New Year.”

“Thanks… Same to you.”

It was the first day of the new semester, and I was in Sewing Room #2.

This was my first meeting of the new year with Hinami.

Neither of us gave a damn about appearances when we were together, but Hinami delivered her proper New Year’s greeting. I guess that’s the sort of thing that makes her Hinami.

“So how was winter break?”

“Uh…well…”

When I reflected on the past few weeks, the main thing that came to mind was Kikuchi-san. I got all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

“It was…y’know, fine.”

“Your nose is growing, Pinocchio.”

“Shut up.”

She saw through me in a second. Am I really that transparent?

“I can tell from how you’re acting that it went well,” she said in an extremely bored tone. “I’m relieved to know everything didn’t go to hell because you were thinking too hard about ‘oh no, dating!’ Sigh.”

“You sound like you wanted that to happen.”

I mean, she even sighed at the end. Stop wishing for bad things to happen to me already.

“Anyway, what happened with holding Fuka-chan’s hand?”

“God, you’re horrible…”

Honestly, do ordinary people ask about things so directly? I know it’s an assignment, but you’d think she would have a bit more human emotion.

“It’s a hand. You do know what a hand is, right?”

“I know what a hand is.”

“So did you hold it like you were supposed to? Or what?”

I did, but…but only when Izumi and Nakamura weren’t looking. And it felt like such a secretive act that I almost had a heart attack. Even remembering it made me slightly dizzy.

Weirdly enough, as the memory resurfaced, Hinami appeared to be enjoying the whole show immensely.

“…You know what?” she asked.

“Wh-what?”

Her expression was insanely sadistic. Whatever she wanted to say, she could not contain it.

She looked me straight in the eye.

“You don’t need to blush that much from one little question.”

That was when I realized how hot my face was. “Huh?”

I touched my skin experimentally. Wait a second, I’d been unable to control my blushing multiple times in the past, but I always at least knew it was happening. I was surprised at myself.

“Uh, um, I’m not…”

“Blushing?”

“Uh, um…”

She seemed to be looking straight into my heart. She was close enough for me to feel her breath.

“Hmm…so you got that excited? That’s adorable.”

“Shut up!!”

The way she was admiring me from her lofty perch made my heart pound even harder. Not fair. She was way too good at embarrassing people. She took advantage of any little vulnerability to deliver a zero-to-death combo. What a jerk.

“You’re the one who needs to tone it down. You sure are full of energy this morning.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Is that so?”

Easily shrugging off my comeback, she giggled happily. Stop playing with me, Hinami.

“If you’re that energetic, I’m sure you can handle another assignment on top of the one with Kikuchi-san and take some more steps forward.”

“F-further forward?”

My mind was in such total chaos that I didn’t even understand what she meant.

“Not following?”

“Um…”

Once I calmed down slightly, I understood right away. Based on our conversation the last time we met, it must be…

“…You mean toward being a normie in the broader sense, beyond my relationship with Kikuchi-san?”

She nodded. “The new semester is starting, so I can finally give you a proper assignment.”

For once, even though I did have one small task, she gave me a bit of a break for a few weeks over the winter. I’m glad I had time to recharge, but it was true that I’d made zero progress toward my new mid-term goal.

“I’m supposed to create a group of at least four people, with me at the center, right?”

“Yep.”

This was my new checkpoint, intended to push me toward becoming a normie on par with Hinami. And I could vaguely imagine how a fuller life would be waiting on the other side.

What I still couldn’t imagine was the road that would get me there.

The signposts would be Hinami’s training.

“Drumroll, please.”

“Bring it on.”

I pounded my chest, welcoming my new task. It was a new year and a new semester, and I was about to get a new assignment to guide me toward my new goal. The whole world felt fresh.

Finally, Hinami stuck one finger in the air and puffed out her chest.

“Go out in a group of at least four people, with you as the manager.”

“…‘Manager’?”

She nodded.

“Basically, you decide where to go and get everyone together. You decide where to meet, and if you need a reservation, you make it. You make sure everyone has a good time. That’s your role.”

“Okay, I get that. That’s central, for sure.”

And sure enough, I’d never done it before in my life.

“Obviously, if you want to create a group of at least four people, you’ll need to know how to be the leader, right? The most effective way to get EXP in that area is of course to get some ground-level experience.”

“That sounds simple enough. Got it.”

Simple, and easy to accept. Now all I had to do was attack it through trial and error.

“It’s so nice when you understand quickly. Any questions?”

“No, I’m fine for now,” I answered right away.

Her eyebrows rose. “…Well, you certainly seem relaxed about this. Are you sure you’re not letting your guard down because you cleared one big goal?”

“What? No, it’s not that, but…”

But now that she mentioned it, even though I’d just been given an assignment I had zero previous experience with, I didn’t feel very anxious. I didn’t have an answer for the question of what I’d actually need to do, but I was weirdly calm all the same.

“It’s like…it’s my first time, but I feel like if I give it a try, everything will be fine…”

“…Wow.” Something close to anticipation was in her eyes.

“Right now, I can’t even imagine what I need to do in practical terms…but part of me feels like I can handle this…”

I was surprised by my feelings once I put them into words.

Even though I hadn’t come up with a concrete solution or attack strategy, I felt confident about the future simply because I felt like a person who could handle it.

After going through so much of life thinking, A person like me can’t do that or A bottom-tier character doesn’t have the right to choose, this was a new feeling.

If I’d managed to chase out the confidence destroyer who lived in my heart even a little, then—

Suddenly, I looked up. Hinami was observing, an unreadable expression on her face.

“…You did achieve your last mid-term goal, but…” She was speaking slowly; whatever she was about to say was important. “I think you may have grown in an important way beyond that, too. Congratulations, Tomozaki-kun.”

She grinned boldly.

“Wow…thanks.”

I nodded, accepting her praise without protest.

I mean, now that I thought about it, it really was an important development.

It had taken me over six months to achieve this tiny mental change.

Hinami gazed at me silently for a moment—and then nodded deeply.

“Guys really do turn into egomaniacs when they get a girlfriend.”

“Are you trying to ruin what you just said?”

As usual, she couldn’t let a good thing be.

* * *

“Hey, Fumiya, ’sup?”

“’Sup.”

It was the first day of third semester in the second-year Class Two room.

By the time I got there, the other members of Nakamura’s group were already standing around together. I walked over to him, Mizusawa, and Takei, which had become my routine.

I figured we’d just chat about random stuff, which was also part of the routine.

But something unexpected happened.

“Hey, Tomozaki! You finally showed up!”

The person talking to me wasn’t Nakamura or Mizusawa or Takei… It was Daichi Matsumoto. He’s a normie in the jock group I’d spoken to only a little right at the start of this game, that time I walked home with Hinami.

After that, we’d hardly interacted at all, at least until the school festival. Maybe because I was dating Kikuchi-san now, he’d start elbowing me all the time.

…But so far, that was the extent of our relationship. I didn’t understand why he was acting like he’d been waiting for me. Did I do something wrong?

“Uh, what’s up?” I answered, confused.

Matsumoto threw his arm around Tachibana, who was standing nearby, and the two of them walked over to me. For some reason, he looked really cheerful, while Tachibana looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere near me. Another guy from their group, Kyoya Hashiguchi, followed behind them.

Still holding Tachibana in place with his right arm, Matsumoto swung his left arm around my neck to capture me.

“Wh-what…?” I asked warily.

But Matsumoto didn’t appear particularly hostile. He just grinned, showing his white teeth.

“How’s it going with Kikuchi-san?”

“H-how’s it going?”

So that’s what this was about. They wanted to ask the guy with the girlfriend how he was faring. I’d never experienced this kind of guy curiosity or whatever it was in real life, but I’d seen it a lot in games and manga.

“Not much to tell. We went out to eat and went to the shrine on New Year’s—that’s about it…”

“Hear that, Tachibana?”

“Shut up already.”

When Matsumoto teased Tachibana, I realized what was happening.

Whether his friends knew about it from the start or found out at some point along the way, they were on to his feelings for Kikuchi-san—but since she ended up dating me instead, they were probably giving him hell about it. Poor Tachibana. Well, that’s what you get for making a pass at her.

“Anything else? This guy really wants to know.”

“Daichi, you ass!”

They shoved each other. Glad they got along so well.

Mind if I get in on the fun? It’s a necessary sacrifice.

“Also, we held hands. Sorry, Tachibana,” I said triumphantly.

Matsumoto and Hashiguchi laughed.

“Ha-ha-ha-ha! Hear that, Tachibana?”

“Sorry, man,” I said, pushing my advantage with a nonapology.

“I’m gonna kill you,” he muttered, smiling in resignation as he grabbed my side.

I fought off his attack—I didn’t want to die, after all—but actually, this was fun. It wasn’t such a bad thing to be able to play along with this mundane back-and-forth. It was about half as fun as Atafami, so pretty good overall.

“I’m gonna kill you, too!”

Suddenly, Takei decided to join the fray and grabbed my other side. Stop messing around, dude—this has nothing to do with you! He didn’t know how to control his strength, so the damage was naturally way worse.

“Owowowow!”

“Ah-ha-ha-ha! This is fun!”

“Ouch! Not for me! Geez!”

Takei was such an idiot—his attack was no joke, seriously painful. Thanks for ruining the fun, Takei. This sucks, man.

* * *

Morning homeroom arrived.

“Okay, so the deadline for returning this…,” our teacher, Kawamura-sensei, was saying.

She had just handed us a survey about our postgraduation plans. There were narrow columns asking if we planned to go to university or not, what our top three choices were if so, and what we planned to do if not. Since we were now in the homestretch of our second year, the school was checking in on our plans for the final time.

That said, Sekitomo High is one of the top college-prep schools in Saitama, so this survey was something of a sham. Usually, around 80 or 90 percent of students go on to university. Even the piece of paper with the survey on it was small, like they didn’t expect anyone to write a long essay about doing anything other than more school. Well, that’s what college-prep schools are like. I feel like I’ve had that thought before.

Kawamura-sensei finished her explanation, and homeroom was over. We had a short break before first period.

“What did you write?”

Suddenly, Izumi was talking to me. With no warning whatsoever, she was in my personal space. Typical Izumi.

“I haven’t filled it out yet. I’ll probably just say I’m going to university…”

“Yeah?”

Meaningless chitchat. Anyway, even though most kids at our school were probably going to university, I bet not many had a particular reason for doing it.

“How about you?”

“I wrote university, too! I heard the model China-chan went to Aoyama Gakuin, so I want to go there, too!”

“Huh…so you already decided where you want to go?”

Never heard of China-chan, but anyway.

“Yup,” Izumi said casually. “Not you?”

“No. To tell the truth, I haven’t really thought about what I want to do in the future…”

Of course, the surveys I filled out in the past always had a column for writing what school I wanted to go to, but I never gave it much thought and just put down a couple schools I’d be able to get into with my grades.

“Seems like you have, huh?” I asked her.

“Yeah, but my reason is really dumb!” She laughed.

“Ha-ha-ha, gotcha. But you’re still doing better than me, since all I have is a vague idea that I probably want to go.”

“Really? Do I get a gold star?”

“Sure. You deserve one.”

I kept in step with her as the conversation rolled along. Izumi likes to sprinkle her conversations with very friendly jokes, so I’ve gotta keep my guard up to make sure I don’t misinterpret anything. If you didn’t know her very well, you’d probably think she liked you and then remember too late she’s Nakamura’s girlfriend.

Anyway, the point is that her reason might be dumb, but she’s still thought about what school she wants to go to. You could say I’d let myself avoid the question a little too long, but on the other hand, I think that’s normal for a second-year student preparing for entrance exams. I wanted to ask some more people about it.

Glancing around, my eyes met those of Nakamura, who was sitting three seats away. I don’t know why he happened to be looking at me just then, but why not ask him? I’d never really done anything like that before, but my terror of him was fading lately.

I walked over to him and glanced at the survey lying on his desk.

“So, Nakamura—”

“Yeah?”

Maybe because we’d made eye contact before I walked over, he answered me without any suspicion.

“Did you fill out the survey?”

“Yeah. I put university.”

“Oh yeah?”

As we were having this casual chat, Mizusawa and Takei wandered over.

“Talking about the survey?” Mizusawa asked in an easygoing tone. He was looking back and forth between us, so I asked him, too.

“Yup. You said you wanna be a stylist or something, right?”

For some reason, he smirked.

“Oh, that? Unfortunately, I’m going to university like everyone else.”

“You are?” I thought he’d talked about beauty school a couple of times before. “Did you change your mind or something?”

He shook his head, still smiling in his usual sardonic way.

“Not many kids jump from our school into being a beautician. My brother used to be one, so I do have some interest, but realistically, I figure I’ll go to university, and if I’m still interested, then I’ll rethink it.”

“Ah…gotcha.”

That made sense. If he was really serious about it, he probably would’ve gone to a technical school right out of junior high. It’s rare for people to go from a college-prep school to beauty school, and I guess he was half saying it to create a character for himself. I could see him doing that. I mean, that image was super ingrained.

“Anyway, I’m thinking I’ll try out a bunch of part-time jobs while I’m in school and figure out what I want to do that way. I’ll probably find something, right? This is me we’re talking about, after all.”

“Ha-ha-ha, you sure are confident.”

Making stuff like that sound convincing was one of his strengths. And one of his annoying points.

“How ’bout you, Fumiya?”

“I…haven’t given it much thought. Looks like college for me, I guess.”

“Huh…”

He sounded a little taken aback and peered intently at me.

“Wh-what?”

“Oh, I was just thinking you’d do something weird.”

“Uh, what is your image of me, exactly?” I retorted, but I did understand what he was getting at. I mean, nanashi had ignored all the rules and done what he wanted up till now. If that was my playstyle, it made sense that I’d do the same in the game of life.

Mizusawa ignored my comment and asked casually, “So you go to college, then what?”

“Then what? Uh…” I didn’t have an answer. “No clue, to be honest.”

Mizusawa widened his eyes. “That’s a surprise. Thought you’d have a vision for like ten years down the line.”

“Seriously, what is your image of me?”

Now and then, Mizusawa had these weird misconceptions about me. Usually in a good way, though, so I felt like I was letting him down when I admitted the truth.

“How about you, Takei?”

The conversation veered casually away from me, and immediately after I let Mizusawa down, too. It only made my mysterious guilt worse.

“…Haven’t thought about it much,” Takei said gloomily.

“Figures.”

“What, you’re not surprised if it’s me?!” he snapped, but I’m fairly sure anyone would have thought the same. I couldn’t even imagine him thinking about the future. If he thought about it at all, I bet tonight’s dinner was the furthest he got. Tomorrow’s breakfast was probably beyond him.

“How ’bout you, Shuji? Thoughts about after college?”

“Me? My dad’s got a friend who’s some corporate big shot, and he said he’d help me out, but I’ve gotta at least get into Waseda or Keidai. That’s my main worry right now.”

“That’s some shady shit, man.”

Takei and I listened in on their conversation enviously. They claimed to only have a hazy idea about university, but their vision seemed super clear.

Huh…so both of them had thought this through.

Feeling a sense of impending crisis, I turned to Takei. He had a similarly panicked expression.

“Th-those two really have this planned out, huh…?” he asked, like he was hoping I would save him.

“Dammit.”

It was extremely disturbing that Takei and I just had the exact same thought. Was I on the same level as him when it came to future prospects?

* * *

I was heading home from school that day.

Since it was the first day of the semester, school ended at noon, and everyone stayed in class talking for a few minutes, then headed home in a big group. I was used to that enough by now that even if I didn’t play a starring role, I could at least hold my own without feeling too uncomfortable. So that wasn’t a problem, but…

…I was nervous about what came next.

“Wow, we haven’t walked home together in ages!”

I was headed home from Kitayono with Mimimi, who sounded extremely cheerful.

Yes, I was with Mimimi, the very same girl I’d gone through so much with during the festival. We’d walked home together once after the closing ceremony, and we’d talked about wanting things to be as normal as possible between us…but that was easier said than done.

“Yeah…”

I couldn’t help being overly self-conscious.

Mimimi must not have been nervous, or maybe she just hid it well. She wasn’t acting particularly unnatural, and as usual, she was cheerfully pulling out one topic after another.

“So how was winter break?!”

Her chipper, energetic voice joined the cold January wind.

It was two in the afternoon. The slanting rays of the sun only seemed to make the air colder, and I stuck my numb fingers into my pockets.

“Winter break…”

I thought back on it, at a loss for words. I mean, all I could think of was going to a café with Kikuchi-san, going to the shrine with Kikuchi-san—every memory involved Kikuchi-san. Even I knew that this wasn’t the time to be too honest about my thoughts.

Clever Mimimi must have guessed the truth because she laughed brightly to relax the mood.

“Oh, sorry, sorry! Fuka-chan, right?!”

“Um…”

“I told you! You’re supposed to act normal and not worry about this stuff!”

“Oh right.”

I guess that wasn’t confident enough for her because she shouted, “Pull yourself togetherrrr!!” and slapped my shoulder.

“Ouch!!”

She giggled. I reacted involuntarily to her signature move, Pound, which I swear she delivered with more power than ever before.

“You hit too hard!!”

I resisted her tyranny with all my might, but she just laughed and refused to answer. What a jerk!

“You’ve had winter break to get over it! Just be normal already! I don’t even care anymore!”

“…You don’t?” I asked, peering into her face.

She laughed off my anxiety. “No way!”

Her smile was so completely cheerful, I couldn’t even tell her apart from the pre-drama Mimimi, and even though I knew she was doing this intentionally, I had no choice but to believe her.

Even if she was still hanging on to various feelings, she wanted things to be normal. Which probably meant I should try as hard as I could to be normal.

“Okay, if you insist, I’ll tell you!! From the start to the end, in detail!!”

“Oh, by the way, Brain, did you decide what you’re doing after high school?”

“Changing the topic on me, eh?”

Mimimi giggled at my silly act. “Yeah. I’ve heard enough about winter break.”

“What the hell…?”

I smiled wryly. Now I was remembering how she always did things her own way. Although, it felt ten times more like her own way now than before.

Anyway, plans after high school. Yikes, she found my weak spot.

“Still thinking about it.”

She gave me a surprised look. “Really? You’re not just going to college like everyone else?”

“Oh yeah, that’s probably what will happen, but…”

“But what?”

Although her voice was even, I detected a gleam of avid interest in the depths of her eyes.

“I just wonder if it’s okay to decide without really thinking it through first.”

“Hmm…” She slowly turned from me back to the road ahead of us. “That sounds like something the Brain would say. Like, you’re not gonna cut corners. You’re gonna take this seriously.”

“It does? But what about you?” I asked casually in return.

I was getting more and more accustomed to the basic conversational flow, so I could do it fairly mindlessly now. You practice the same combo over and over in training mode, then use it in a real game. After a while, it becomes pure reflex. Gamers will understand.

“Me? I just thought I’d be normal and go to college.”

“Huh. Just the fact that you’ve decided is amazing. I’m still not sure what I want to do.”

Even though I suspected I’d ultimately end up going to university, choosing a path with no reason or basis for it went against my gamer’s creed, so I hadn’t fully made up my mind yet. “Now Loading…” was probably the most accurate way to describe my current status.

“Interesting…,” Mimimi said, looking up at the sky with a serious face. “In that case, I’m actually worse than you. Since I just said I was going to university without really thinking about it.”

She squinted into the bright light.

Honestly, a few months ago, I probably would have insisted on raising her up and putting myself down, but…

“Really? I don’t think one is better than the other.”

…now I was able to measure the distance between me and her and say honestly that we both had our pluses and minuses. Which seems to me like a healthier response.

“I wonder.”

“It’s true. Or at least, I think it is.”

That’s why I was able to believe in myself enough to push my point. In the game of life, Mimimi’s level was still unquestionably higher than mine, but in my own way, I was able to confidently state my view without being servile.

“Well then, let me ask you, what are you unsure about? What’s wrong with going to college?”

“Um, I’m not sure how to put it.”

If I explained my gamer values in those terms, she might have a hard time understanding. Putting in an effort to reach your goal was the basic principle of gaming, and to be blunt, practicing or advancing to the next stage without knowing what you wanted to do was not a good approach. So how do I put that in layman’s terms?

“It’s like, I don’t know which way to go until I decide for sure what I want.”

That felt right. When I wanted to find a basis for my path, what I wanted came first.

“What you want?”

“Yeah.”

That being the case, the reason I couldn’t decide what to do after high school was probably because I still hadn’t figured out what I wanted to do in life over the long term.

Unlike normal games, preset goals don’t exist in life.

The whole theme is deciding on a direction based on what you yourself want to do.

Essentially—what Hinami calls my “big goal.”

“…Hmm, what you want…” Mimimi repeated the words, mulling them over.

What did I want to do? Which way should I go?

Here we were, standing at a fork in the road of life when we hadn’t even really thought about the future.

But time wouldn’t stop for us. We were being swallowed by an unstoppable wave.

“Yes, that’s the question. What do I want?”

It’s the winter of our second year of high school. We’re seventeen years old.

We’re still a long way from adulthood, but you can’t call us kids anymore, either. I realize it takes some nerve for me to act like an expert on life—but that’s beside the point. It’s a maddening age, because we don’t even have the means to decide what our day-to-day life will look like.

But there’s surprisingly little time to think about what lies ahead and make a decision.

“I wonder what we’ll all be doing in ten years.”

“…Ten years, huh?”

Mimimi’s comment was both sudden and vague, and it was hard not to give it serious thought.

Ten years. Our twenties would be coming to a close, and our efforts would be starting to bear fruit.

“I wonder what kind of work I’ll be doing or if I’ll be married by then.”

“Yeah…”

I couldn’t envision my own future at all, so I tried to picture Mimimi’s.

“I can imagine you…taking a bunch of younger coworkers out drinking, like Come on, just one more bar!”

“Ah-ha-ha, what the heck? I definitely sound single!”

“It’s possible!”

We smiled at each other.

“A girl starts getting nervous if she’s still single by twenty-seven! You’re really rude, you know that?!”

“Ah-ha-ha, sorry, sorry.”

We smiled at each other again. Yeah, we do really well with these silly back-and-forths.

“And what about the Brain…?”

For some reason, she looked a little sad as she licked her lips pensively.

“I bet you’ll be far away. Somewhere I can’t even imagine,” she said.

“Ha-ha-ha. What’s that even mean?”

I laughed casually. The sadness was still in Mimimi’s eyes, but she smiled along with me and nodded as if she understood something. In a way, she was acting like this was her good-bye, and I was walking away.

“I mean, I really do feel that way. You’ll be like, I wanna do this! and dash off, and you won’t even stop when people tell you you’re weird, and then one day, you’ll do something amazing and be like, Told ya so!”

“Wow, I sound awesome!”

Was that how she saw me?

“Definitely! Or maybe you’ll run off and be a huge failure.”

“One extreme or the other, huh?”

She laughed teasingly. “…But seriously, I really do think that’s what’ll happen.”

“…Just running off somewhere?”

Honestly, I couldn’t say she was wrong. I was the one who’d gotten obsessed with playing Atafami and ended up as the player with the top winrate in Japan, and right now, I was trying to figure out what I wanted in life. When I thought about it, I could find my future life as engrossing as Atafami.

When I do find it, I’m fairly sure I’ll stay single-minded about it no matter what anyone says or who says it. It’s in nanashi’s blood.

“You could be right.”

“Right?!”

For some reason, she looked really happy that I’d agreed with her.

“When I think about it like that, I feel like we’ll be able to live our own lives!” she went on.

“Yeah, maybe…”

Live our own lives.

A little sad, but also realistic, and definitely not regretful.

We were both walking through the residential streets of Kitayono toward our own houses, on a day still too cold to call the end of winter.

“What do I want to do…?”

It was the winter of my second year of high school.

I was seventeen.

High school felt like it would go on forever, but it was already more than halfway over.

There was only a year and a few months left.

I had to choose one thing and leave behind the other possibilities—and I still didn’t have the reason or motivation I needed to make that choice.

Would I be able to decide?

“That’s the question.”

When we got to the corner where we usually parted ways, Mimimi and I looked in opposite directions.

Finally, Mimimi mumbled a few words—I’m sure more to herself than to me.

“…I’d better give that some more thought myself.”

I wasn’t surprised to see the same vaguely sad, lonely look in her eyes.

“I hope we both figure it out,” I said, turning back toward her.

She turned toward me and paused for a second, but then she nodded cheerfully.

“Me too! Well, see you later, Brain!”

“Okay, see you tomorrow.”

With that, we each set off in our own direction.