Chapter 3: Y’know What, Let’s Just Pretend That Never Happened

《Surely you do not believe this to be sufficient? You are slacking.》

《Yeah, seriously!》

《Aww, is this all?》

The breakfast I prepared the next morning satisfied nobody. I’d made soboro rice bowls, but they were the saddest, barest ones I’d ever produced—just rice, ground meat, and no other toppings to speak of. I really was slacking, honestly. I’d pulled an all-nighter reading Kazuki’s book, and the sleep deprivation was killing me.

“N-Nah,” I stammered, trying to salvage the situation, “I figured I’d ask you guys if you wanted anything in particular for toppings! Like, soft-boiled eggs? Just the yolk? Maybe sesame seeds?”

《Oh, really?》 Fel questioned, glaring skeptically at me.

“Y-Yeah, really! C’mon, what’ll it be?”

《Hmph! Very well. I shall have a soft-boiled egg, as always.》

“Soft-boiled, got it. Dora-chan, Sui, what do you two want?”

《Same as Fel over here.》

《Sui wants the same too! And the tasty little white thingies that smell good!》

So, eggs for everyone, and pretty sure Sui means it wants sesame seeds on top. Got it. I bought the toppings directly from my Online Supermarket, and everyone seemed satisfied as they dug in.

I, meanwhile, slurped away at a premade pouch of rice porridge I’d thrown into the order for myself. It felt like a good idea to have something easy on the stomach, since I’d been up all night. But that thought brought my mind back to the book, and I sighed heavily.

Seriously, what am I supposed to do about this? Never imagined I’d end up reading something like that... You have to shout about loving somebody else’s wife to use the stone? What is this, some weird form of torture? Why would you even make it like that? Was Kazuki the dumbest Sage in history?

To make matters worse, he said there’d be no harm in me using it if I was “an individual worthy of possessing” his stone. Meaning there would be harm if I wasn’t, and that it was just about guaranteed to take me somewhere I really, really didn’t want to be. Like the middle of a forest that’s absolutely lousy with high-rank monsters, or the bottom floor of a dungeon, or something like that. I could see it coming a mile away.

On the other hand, he did write a tiny note at the very end of the book which said that if I touched the teleportation stone on the other end and said “teleport” in Japanese, it would take me right back to wherever I’d initially come from. Didn’t change the fact that I had absolutely no intention of using the thing, but still, good to know.

I mean, why would I want to visit another continent in the first place? Sure, I was doing a sort of traveling tour around the other world, but there were still a ton of places on my current continent that I hadn’t been to at all yet. The Kingdom of Erman was right next to the Kingdom of Leonhardt, and I hadn’t set foot in it even once so far. Going all the way out to another continent would be getting stupidly far ahead of myself. Obviously. Not happening, no way, no how.

Thinking back on how I’d found the thing in the first place, I chuckled to myself. Compared to the other loot in the bandit king’s lair, it hadn’t been treated like it was worth much. All the other magic items had been more or less stacked on top of it.

I mean, it was in the treasure room, so he must’ve valued it to some extent, but I was pretty sure he hadn’t actually known what the tablet was for. He knew it was magical, surely, but barely anyone understood how teleportation circles worked, even back then. It was hard to believe a bandit would’ve been capable of deciphering the intricate magical circle that was written on the slab.

Anyway, the point is that since the bandit king hadn’t treated it like anything special, I figured I could pretend I’d never picked it up in the first place. Fel and the others would definitely kick up a fuss if they learned what it could do, so this would probably save me a huge headache in the long run.

The worst-case scenario would be Fel learning about the demonfolk continent. I wouldn’t put it past him to demand that we go there immediately, and if that was the alternative, then secreting it away was obviously the better course of action.

All right, it’s settled. I definitely never found the teleportation stone or Kazuki’s book. They weren’t in that cave to begin with.

《Hey! What are you muttering about over there?》

“Huh? Me? N-Nothing, why?”

《Have you heard so much as a word I said? I have asked for seconds time and time again!》

《Yeah, we’ve been waiting for ages! Seriously!》

《Sui wants seconds too!》

“Sorry, my bad! It’ll be ready in just a minute.” I whipped up another set of saboro rice bowls and served them right up.

《Does something ail you? I noticed you were up quite late last night,》 asked Fel as he dug into his meal.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. I just couldn’t fall asleep, no big deal.”

It was all Kazuki’s fault for leaving that stupid thing lying around. Part of me wanted to find him and demand he give back the time I could’ve spent resting up, but I knew I had better things to be doing.

“All right, once you’re all done eating we’re getting back on track and making for Karelina!”

I just wanted to get home as fast as possible and sleep to my heart’s content in my own nice, fluffy bed.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Look, there it is!”

The familiar sight of the city of Karelina finally appeared in the distance. Demiurge’s oracle about the bandit king’s treasure cave had led us on quite the digression, but after we were finished with that, the journey proceeded almost astonishingly smoothly. Fel really picked up the pace too, so the trip was much faster than it had been on the way out.

I flashed my Adventurer’s guild card and watched as the city’s front gate slowly creaked open for me. The gate guards were used to us, at that point, and didn’t so much as bat an eyelash at Fel and Dora-chan. We made straight for my estate, and were greeted with a shout by Barthel and Peter, who were apparently on guard duty at the gate that day.

“Hey, we’re back,” I said, returning their greeting. “Anything happen while I was away?”

“Welcome home,” replied Barthel, “and nah, everything’s been nice and quiet ’round here. If I had to complain, guess it’d be ’bout how I never thought teaching’d be as rough as it’s turned out!”

“Everyone’s still working hard on their studies, then?” I’d suggested that he help everyone else with their education before I left, and from the sound of things they were really following through on that. It was nice to hear.

“More or less, yeah. Kosti ’n Tabatha’re doin’ good work, but, well...those halfwit twins are always memorizin’ the letters wrong, and keeping ’em in check’s been a real hassle.”

“It’s true,” added Peter. “They kept insisting that they knew how to read, so they’d be able to write well enough, one way or another. They really didn’t like the idea of being taught... It’s not every day that you get the chance to learn like this, though, so I really think they should give in and take advantage of it.”

“Ha ha ha, those two, huh? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You can sorta tell they’d be the type to hate studying just by looking at them.”

“Gwa ha ha ha, you’ve got that right! Peter here, though—he’s another story! Real hard worker, this one. His math’s still got a ways to go, but unlike those two, he’s puttin’ the effort in. Kid’s got his readin’ down pat, and he’s even writin’ simple stuff already, no problem!”

“Oh, already?” I said, impressed. “You really have been working hard.”

“I just didn’t want to waste the opportunity, that’s all,” Peter replied sheepishly. His bashful nature and massive body always felt sort of at odds with each other.

“Oh, that’s right,” I said, suddenly remembering, “I brought back a bunch of food and stuff, so I figured I’d make a big meal for everyone. You two should c’mon in and have some too.”

Barthel looked a little hesitant. “What about guardin’ the front gate, though?”

“Fel and the others are here now, so I think it’ll be fine. And honestly, I don’t think there’s a burglar out there who’d be stupid enough to try and rob the place knowing he’s around.” Barthel and Peter both nodded, immediately convinced. “C’mon, let’s go! I got some really great ingredients from the meat dungeon, plus a bunch of stuff from the food stalls in Rosendahl.”

《Hmm? You mean the skewers from the food stalls? I shall partake as well.》

《Same here!》

《Sui too!》

“I know, I know! Don’t worry, I bought enough for everyone.”

A short walk down a paved pathway later, my house finally came into view. I hadn’t lived there for very long at all, but there really is no place like home, when all’s said and done. Knowing that you’ve finally arrived home after a long trip’s always sorta emotional.

“Ah, it’s big brother Mukohda! Welcome hooome!” Lotte, who’d been playing around in the garden out front, came running up the moment she noticed me.

“I’m back, Lotte! And I brought plenty of the meat you asked for! We’re all having a feast tonight!”

“Hurray!” The second she heard the word “meat,” Lotte’s face lit up and she literally jumped with joy. “Oh, right! I’ve gotta tell everyone you’re back!”

Lotte dashed off toward the servant’s houses behind the main building. It wasn’t long at all before I was surrounded by familiar faces. I was relieved to see that nobody looked any different than they had when I left.

“I’m home!”

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Guess I’m making a hot pot, then,” I muttered as I stared at a massive, heavy head of Chinese cabbage. Its outside leaves were a bright, vivid green, and it was obviously of exemplary quality. It was one of the vegetables Alban had grown in the field out behind the main house.

He’d told me that everyone loved the leafy green vegetables he’d grown from the seeds I gave him. I wasn’t totally sure if he meant cabbage or lettuce by that, and when I asked about it, he went out back to get one for me. I hadn’t realized it at the time, but apparently there’d been some Chinese cabbage seeds in the assortment I gave him before leaving for Rosendahl.

I must not’ve been paying close attention at the time, and couldn’t remember what specifically I’d given him at all. I’d handed over the leftover seeds from my first attempt at gardening, plus a bunch of random stuff I’d bought from my Online Supermarket. I hadn’t even opened the bag they came in, in retrospect. The Chinese cabbage seeds must’ve come from there.

I’d been planning on making something everyone could try, using either dungeon pork or dungeon beef, and a hot pot felt like it’d fit the bill perfectly. Given that I had plenty of pork and a spectacularly high-quality Chinese cabbage on hand, a particular recipe sprang instantly to mind: I’d use dungeon pork ribs to make a mille-feuille hot pot. I’d made hot pots for everyone before, and it seemed like the perfect style of cooking for a big group.

My plan settled, I rallied all the women who knew how to cook and got to work.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Is this right?” asked Lotte.

“Yeah, that’s perfect! You’re so good at this,” I replied. She beamed at my praise. She’d been really insistent about helping out with the meal, and since setting up a mille-feuille hot pot mostly just involves laying slices of pork alternating with Chinese cabbage leaves, I figured it’d be easy enough for her to handle.

That’s really all there is to it—it’s super simple. All you do is lay down a cabbage leaf, then cover it with a layer of thinly-sliced dungeon pork. I explained the technique as I demonstrated the process to Lotte, Theresa, Aija, and Selja. They mimicked me and were all layering pork and cabbage together in no time.

Once you’ve built up three layers of cabbage and meat, you slice the pile into roughly five-centimeter-wide strips and layer them in the pot, making sure to pack them super closely together and not leave any gaps. Then you scatter some instant dashi powder onto it, add just enough water to submerge the cabbage, bring it to a boil, and it’s done!

It’s best eaten with some sort of sauce—personally, I’m a fan of ponzu and sesame-based sauces for this particular dish. Ponzu gives it a refreshing, citrusy bite, and the thick, rich flavor of sesame sauce really complements the simplicity of the cabbage and meat. They’re both delicious, and well worth a try.

I’d also once made a version of the same dish with a miso-based soup. I had a feeling that miso would pair really well with the rest of the ingredients, and all I had to do was substitute the dashi powder for some miso-based concentrated soup. I used the same miso soup base that I always had on hand, which had a bit of a spicy kick to it, and as expected, it turned out excellently. The spiciness of the miso base really soaked into the cabbage and the meat—it was irresistibly delicious. Just remembering it was enough to make me drool...

In any case, neither version took many ingredients and they were both super easy, so I decided to make both flavors. I piled the stall food I’d bought in Rosendahl up on some platters, and we set them and the hot pots out on my house’s long dining table. I dropped off a pile of everything for Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui too, of course.

“Okay, dinner’s served!”

“Arright, took you long enough!” shouted one of the twins. Those two raucous morons, Luke and Irvine, were the first to the table.

Their sister, Tabatha, looked on from a distance and shook her head. “When’re you two gonna learn to restrain yourselves? I’m ashamed to be related to you, I swear. Look at those three,” she said, gesturing to Tony’s children: Kosti, Selja, and Alban. “They’re just kids, and they’re a hell of a lot more collected than you!”

Her words fell on deaf ears. “Ahh, man, she’s off on one of her tirades again.”

“Hah, when isn’t she ranting about something? Just ignore her, she’ll go away eventually.”

“Good plan.”

I could see what was about to happen coming a mile away, and sure enough...

“Think you can backtalk me, eh?!”

“Augh!”

“Ouch!”

Tabatha gave the both of them a smack on the skull. Closed-fisted too.

“When’re you two gonna learn yer lesson...?” sighed Barthel. Peter didn’t say anything, but he did nod in agreement. I just let out a strained laugh.

Around the time everyone was sitting down, I felt an ominous aura building up behind me. I turned around to find Fel staring down at his mille-feuille hot pot, his nose wrinkled and absolute disdain written all over his face.

“S-Something wrong, Fel?”

“‘Is something wrong’? You truly have to ask? How many times have I told you that I cannot abide these leaves you call food?”

“Oh, is that all?”

“What do you mean, ‘is that all’?!”

“Whoa, too close, too close!” Fel had leaned in so far toward me, his face was practically pressed up against mine. “But, I mean, I know you always say you don’t like vegetables, but you eat ’em anyway, don’t you?” For such a self-proclaimed hater of greenery, he certainly ate his fill of it whenever I served a vegetable-heavy dish.

“Whether or not I eat them, the fact remains that I! Want! Meat! Have I made myself clear?!”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

《Okay, that’s enough of that,》 chimed in Dora-chan. 《You don’t have to bite his head off, Fel. I was thinking it’s a bit light on the meat too, but it’s actually real tasty. Just try it! Especially with the sorta sour sauce—this stuff hits the spot!》

《Sui likes it with the thick sauce that smells nice!》

Dora and Sui were both meat lovers, but they didn’t share Fel’s carnivorous distaste for vegetables and were digging into their hot pots enthusiastically.

“C’mon, Fel, we’ve got plenty of skewers, and those are nothing but meat. Can’t you hold yourself over with them for tonight?”

“Hmph... Very well, but tomorrow, we eat meat. And I do mean only meat.” Fel finally started munching away at the miso hot pot in front of him.

Of course he’d actually eat it in the end, I thought, but decided not to say it out loud. I knew he’d get all snippy again if I did.

“Everyone ready?” I asked, turning back to the table. “Let’s eat! There’s plenty, so have as much as you want.” I directed that last part toward the kids in particular, and as expected, Lotte was the quickest to get to work.

“I wanna try this!” she squealed, reaching for the hot pot that she’d helped make.

“Good choice! That one goes well with one of these sauces, if you want.”

“It does? Then I wanna have this one first!” She splashed some ponzu onto her food and took a big bite, stuffing her tiny cheeks full. She spent a moment slowly chewing, then swallowed it down in one big gulp. “This is so good! It’s a little sour, and that makes it even better!”

“Yeah, that’s the sauce. It’s called ponzu—works really well with this sorta hot pot, right?”

“Yeah!”

“C’mon, what’re you waiting for, everyone?” I asked, turning to the rest of the table. “Dig in!”

Everyone finally started helping themselves to the hot pots. Tony and Alban’s households were happily eating away in their own little family groups, and it looked like they were really enjoying it. Tabatha and the rest of my guards, meanwhile, were devouring their helpings in perfect silence. I had to wonder if they’d been starving themselves up until now, or something.

“Oh, right! Almost forgot,” I said as I produced a bunch of beer for the adults and a bottle of orange juice for the kids. I’d already used my Item Box and Online Supermarket in front of everyone before, so there was no need to be sneaky about it. Barthel the dwarf’s eyes lit up as he saw me bring out the beer.

“I knew you had it in you, Mukohda! You really know yer stuff!” He pulled open his can’s tab with a practiced motion and chugged it down in a single draft. “Now that’s the stuff!” he shouted. He made having a beer sound really, really nice, and everyone else quickly cracked open their cans as well. I joined in, of course, and took a nice, long swig.

“Yeah, this really is the best!” I sighed. “You gotta have a beer to get the most out of a hot pot!” I was talking to myself, but surprisingly, the rest of the adults nodded in agreement. I guess the people of this world can appreciate how well beer and hot pot go together, as well.

“This meat’s really something too! Gotta be some top-shelf stuff, right?” asked Tabatha.

“Huh? Nah, not really. It’s just some dungeon pork I picked up in the meat dungeon.” My Item Box was absolutely full of the stuff, not to mention all the dungeon beef.

“Dungeon pork?” said Luke, a little skeptically. “Since when was dungeon pork this good?”

“Yeah, I remember it being a little tougher than this... Not that it was bad, of course,” added Irvine as he scratched his head.

“No big surprise there. This is high-grade dungeon pork, after all,” I mentioned offhandedly. All the former adventurers at the table spun about to gape at me.

“High-grade?!” they shouted in unison. Thinking back on it, they’d been pretty shocked that one time I had served them rockbird in a hot pot as well.

“You can’t just go serving us top-class meat like this, Mukohda!” scolded Tabatha. “You know we’re supposed to be slaves, right?”

“Not gonna complain about getting to eat tasty stuff like this, but yeah, she’s got a point,” added Luke.

Irving nodded in agreement as well. “Yeah, right? It’s totally unthinkable.”

“When you put it that way,” chimed in Barthel, “we’ve been eatin’ better here than we ever did in our adventurin’ days, eh?”

Peter nodded in agreement, and all of them stared at me in dumbfounded astonishment. Tony, Alban, and their families had never even seen meat from the meat dungeon before, much less eaten it, so it didn’t look like they were keeping up with the conversation this time around.

“Okay, sure, but it’s honestly not a big deal. You wouldn’t believe how much of this stuff I have stored away.” The former adventurers glanced behind me, where Fel, Dora, and Sui were all chowing down. I think they got the point.

“Yeah, I could see Fel and the others hunting down a mountain of the stuff, and enjoying every second of it...”

“Right...?” Luke and Irvine looked like they were mid-flashback. They’d been out orc hunting with me before, so they knew what it was like.

“The monsters in the dungeon really did only drop meat, and everyone went pretty overboard...” I sighed. “They hunted the place dry of high-grade dungeon pork and beef.” It’d taken a horrifying amount of time just to pick up all the meat that had dropped.

“High-grade dungeon pork...”

“And beef...”

“They hunted the dungeon dry...?” The five former adventurers’ faces were frozen, aside from the occasional twitch.

“Hey, aren’t you gonna eat any?” asked Lotte. She looked mystified by our conversation.

“Huh? Yeah, ’course I will,” I replied. “Like I said, it’s not a big deal, so don’t worry about it. Eat up!”

Tabatha sighed. “Okay, I get it. Thinking about you and your familiars like you live in the same world as us normal adventurers was my bad.”

“Wait, what? It’s just Fel and the others, I’ve got nothing to do with it. Don’t lump me in with them! I’m totally normal!”

“Normal? Hah, as if!” Luke laughed.

“Right?” Irvine agreed.

“You tamed familiars like them,” added Barthel. “Ain’t a chance yer anythin’ close to normal.”

“Very true,” said Peter with a nod.

Okay, but I’d lose hard if I went one on one with literally any of you.

“I demand seconds!”

《Same here!》

《Sui too!》

“Seriously, already? And wait, you’re telling me a certain someone who was all complaints just a minute ago wants seconds now?”

“If you have a point, then out with it.”

“You know what? Never mind. I’ll have it right out, just a minute.” I hurried off to fix up a second helping for my familiars, and the former adventurers looked inexplicably self-satisfied as they watched me go.

“Yup, knew it, Mukohda’s one of them after all,” said Luke with a nod. “He’s the only man alive fearless enough to talk back to Fel like that.”

“You said it,” agreed Irvine.

Me? Fearless? Nope, nope, absolutely not!

Something about their attitudes was weirdly upsetting.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

After our little banquet concluded, I took a nice, long, relaxing bath with Dora-chan and Sui. All we had left to do after that was hit the sack. My familiars were out like a light in minutes, but I had one more thing I needed to get done that day: it was time for my offering to Demiurge.

I’d decided to send him offerings once a week, but since I’d been mid-trip at the usual time, that week’s portion ended up a little late. I didn’t think he’d be upset about that, unlike a certain group of unreasonably materialistic deities, but I decided to get him slightly more sake and canned snack foods than I usually would as an apology anyway.

Liquor Shop Tanaka happened to be running a special on umeshu, a type of Japanese plum liquor, so I decided to get him some of that as well. The plums give it a really pleasant, fruity sweetness, and it doesn’t have the harshness that makes some hard alcohols hard to drink if you’re not used to them. People used to think of it as a sort of girly drink thanks to its sweetness, but apparently it’s been growing more and more popular among men as well lately—hence the special on it.

The special had a ranking of the best varieties the store had in stock, as usual, so I decided to make it easy on myself and buy him the top three items from that list. Number three on the ranking was a sparkling variety of umeshu that apparently had an almost champagne-like quality to it. According to the description, it had a little rose essence infused into it as well, giving its flavor a slight classy floral note. Even the bottle looked fancy in a way that’d you’d expect from champagne more than umeshu, so it seemed like a perfect gift all around.

Number two on the ranking came in a sort of squat, much-less-classy bottle, but was apparently a sort of umeshu made with brandy as its base. The brand was known for the time and craftsmanship that went into its production, and it supposedly had an almost syrupy consistency that made it an excellent drink to sip and savor over the course of an evening.

At the top of the ranking list was a brand from Wakayama, a prefecture in Japan known for producing the best umeshu around. The plums that went into this variety were an incredibly specific and valuable variety that you could only grow in Wakayama, harvested at the absolute peak of ripeness. Not only was it from the holy land of umeshu, but it’d also won first place in a contest devoted to the liquor. It was a strong, high-class drink that drew out the absolute best in the plums’ natural balance of sweet and sourness.

I was far from an umeshu connoisseur, and had only ever drunk one particularly famous brewer’s product, so I was sort of astonished to see that there were that many varieties available. I knew that the production process involved soaking the plums in another liquor along with a ton of sugar, but I’d been under the impression that it was only ever made with clear, uncolored alcohols like shochu and sake. The fact that you could make it with brandy or whiskey really caught my attention.

I was so intrigued by everything I’d learned that I couldn’t help but slip another bottle of the number three umeshu into my basket to try out myself. I was really looking forward to giving it a try, but since I had everything I’d be offering Demiurge picked out, I knew I should take care of sending that off before anything else. I double-checked that everything I meant to send was in the cardboard box, and slipped in a few extra items as well: both varieties of the mille-feuille hot pot I’d made earlier that night, plus the ponzu and sesame sauces that went along with them.

“I’m sorry it’s a bit late this week, but please accept this offering, Demiurge! I made a cabbage and dungeon pork mille-feuille hot pot to go along with it, as well—I hope you enjoy it.”

＜Oh, no need to worry about punctuality! I’m more than happy enough just to receive your offerings. And a hot pot as well? My thanks! I will enjoy these.＞ My offering vanished in a flash of light.

“The hot pot with the translucent soup is best with sauce, so I sent along a couple bottles for you to try with it. The other one’s miso-soup-based, so I recommend trying it as-is.”

＜Oh, they smell wonderful! I can hardly wait to try them.＞

“I also sent some of your usual sake, plus a few bottles of a liquor called umeshu for you to try. It’s made from a particular sort of plum.”

＜A fruit liquor, is it? I am partial to those, on occasion. I will look forward to sampling them as well! Ho! Ho! Ho!＞ His calm but booming laugh echoed in my mind.

“Also, I ended up checking out the mountain that you told me about the last time we spoke...” I explained about how I’d found the bandit king’s treasure cave, and the diary of a Sage named Kazu who hailed from the same homeland as me, plus the teleportation stone that he’d made. “I’m guessing you sent me there because you wanted me to find that stone, right?”

The stone was nothing but trouble in my mind and I was all set to seal it away forevermore, but when I really thought about it, Demiurge himself had sent me to that mountain. Considering my personal connection with the stone, it would make total sense if he did so for the specific purpose of helping me find it. And if that was the case, I couldn’t exactly bury the thing and call it a day, could I? For all I knew, Demiurge might’ve been specifically trying to guide us toward the demonfolk continent.

＜A-Ah, yes, that was part of it.＞ A teleportation stone? thought Demiurge, totally unbeknownst to me. Was there really one of those in that cave?

“I knew it... So then, was this your way of telling me that we should go to the demonfolk continent?”

The demonfolk continent? I’d entirely forgotten that the teleportation stone was even there; of course I wasn’t trying to tell him anything of the sort! It is quite the coincidence, though, so it makes sense that he would read into my motives. What to tell him...? I’ll just have to make up something vague but plausible and hope he doesn’t make too much of it!

＜N-No, that was not my intention. Whether or not you go to the demonfolk continent is your decision to make. I led you to that stone because, umm...because I believed it would be most fitting for it to wind up in your hands, seeing as you and its creator shared a homeland! Yes, that’s right.＞

“Oh, really? So you wouldn’t mind if I decided not to go?”

＜Not in the least.＞ I only led him there as thanks for the offerings he always sends to me and the other gods, honestly.

“Great! That’s a relief.”

＜You are free to live as you see fit. Just know that we will always be watching over you. Until next time!＞ Demiurge ended his oracle.

“Phew! Seriously, thank goodness.” Demiurge went out of his way to say that I was free to do whatever I wanted, so I was under no obligation to force myself into a trans-continental trip. I could secret the stone away, never tell my familiars about it, and pretend that none of this ever happened. I had a feeling that I’d be sleeping well that night, and mere moments after crawling into my futon I proved myself correct.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Hey, what are you doing?”

“Huh? Oh, didn’t I tell you? I’m planning on heading to the Adventurer’s guild today, and I’ll be selling off the loot we got in the bandit king’s cave. I figured I should appraise all the magic items we found before I go so we can keep any that sound like they might be useful.”

I was out in the garden in front of my house, and had all the magic items from the cave spread out on the ground when Fel wandered over.

“Where’re Dora-chan and Sui?”

“Napping, though given how early in the day it is, perhaps ‘oversleeping’ would be more apt. It would seem they feasted too freely at breakfast and lulled themselves back to bed.”

“Hah, those two sure are taking it easy!”

“Have you already appraised everything?”

“Nah, I’m just getting started. I’ve only looked at this one so far,” I said, pointing to one of the items. It was a square panel with a magical circle inscribed on it. “It’s a soundproofing item, looks like! If you activate it and stand in the circle, absolutely no noise you make will be audible to anyone outside of it.”

Fel looked skeptical. “What use would anyone possibly have for such a thing?”

“I guess it could be handy if you had something to say that you really, really didn’t want anyone uninvolved to overhear?” Magic items were expensive by default, so I was sure it had to be worth something. I definitely didn’t want it, though. “We have a bunch of them, so I figured I’d appraise them all and see what turns up.”

“Magic items are of some interest to me as well. I shall assist.” Fel and I appraised item after item together. Most of them seemed questionably useful at best, but a few caught my attention.

Stuff like a magical slab that could shoot pretty large fireballs and an item that drove monsters away were totally useless to me. I had Fel on my side, after all, and since I could use fire magic, I could make my own fireballs without a magic item. The one that drove away monsters almost certainly wouldn’t work on any high-ranked creatures, so it didn’t seem like it’d be especially useful either.

One of them seemed handy, though: a water jug that kept itself magically full, generating fresh water out of thin air. I thought that Alban and his family would appreciate it, so I was planning on installing it in their house. I’d heard that Theresa usually took the lead on cooking everyone’s meals, and the capable-of-cooking brigade would gather in her kitchen to help out, so it seemed like a good place for it. Drawing water from the well had to be a pain, so it’d save them a lot of work.

Then there was a box-shaped item that was infused with ice magic—an ice maker, basically. I thought it was a good find for a moment, but according to Fel’s appraisal it could only produce a small amount of ice at once, and took a long time to do so on top of that. I decided to sell it off.

The rest of the items we appraised fell into a similar range. There was an item that could replicate a water cutter spell, for instance, and a magic stove. You’d think the stove would catch my attention, but it only had one burner and wouldn’t let you fine-tune its heat output. It couldn’t hold a candle to the magic stove I already owned.

Finally, we came to the last item. It was an intricately carved and elaborately decorated square wooden chest that measured about one meter long on each side. In spite of how old it had to be, it didn’t look worn or deteriorated in the slightest. It opened from the side rather than the top like a normal chest. I had pretty high hopes for it.

“Okay, last one!”

“Is it? Were there not more than this?”

I gulped. It goes without saying that I hadn’t brought out the teleportation stone. There hadn’t been all that many magic items in the first place—had Fel noticed that it was missing?

“Nooope, sorry, no more after this one!”

“Oh? Very well, then. I shall appraise the final item.”

“Y-Yeah, great, thanks! You get more info than I do, so that sounds good to me.” Phew! That was a close one.

“Hmm,” said Fel after a lengthy pause, “it would seem to be a magic item intended to keep food and drink cold. An item to prevent food from spoiling, if you will.”

“Wait, but that means—it’s a refrigerator! A magic refrigerator, nice! This is great, we can definitely use this one!”

“Can we?”

“Yeah, it’ll be handy for all sorts of things. Marinating meat’s the big one. I never really liked the idea of leaving that stuff out at room temperature. This country’s big, and with the climate changing depending on where you go, it just doesn’t feel safe. A fridge means I’ll be able to marinate stuff without worrying about food poisoning, though! It’ll let me make a bunch of desserts like puddings and jellies and stuff too!”

“Is that so? Most excellent! Let us put it to use at once—prepare us some meat!”

“Sorry, but ‘at once’ isn’t gonna happen. My schedule’s totally packed today. We’ll do it tomorrow, all right?”

“Hmph. I shall hold you to that.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. All right, let’s haul the rest of this stuff over to the Adventurer’s guild!”

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

It felt like it’d been quite a long time since Fel and I had paid a visit to Karelina’s Adventurer’s guild. Dora-chan and Sui were both still fast asleep, so we ended up leaving them at the house.

“Oh, you’re finally back!” cried the guildmaster, Willem, who met us by the door.

“We are, yeah. Nice to see you.”

“Hah hah, indeed! So? What do you think?” he asked as he stroked his hair, which was even longer and fuller than last time I’d seen him. I got that he was so happy he just had to brag about it, but honestly, it was getting sort of obnoxious.

“Umm, looks like it’s working out well, huh? Good for you.”

“It most certainly has, thanks to your shampoo and hair growth tonic! It just keeps growing and growing! Thanks to you, my hair’s the talk of the town!” He explained that while I’d been away, his incredible transformation had attracted quite a fair bit of attention. A bunch of formerly high-ranked adventurers who he’d known for ages had started pestering him relentlessly for his secret, and some people had actually traveled to Karelina from far and wide just because they’d heard the rumors about him.

The guildmaster had been at such a loss as to what to do about his incredibly persistent friends, he’d actually gone to Lambert for advice. Lambert eventually agreed to allow those whom Willem judged to be economically stable (that is, to be capable of paying full price for the tonic) to purchase their own supply, albeit through the guildmaster as an intermediary. Lambert had apparently been very insistent that Willem be careful about who he allowed to take advantage of that privilege, though personally, I was grateful that he was helping me sell the stuff off.

“So anyway,” I said, changing the subject, “I stopped by today to let you know I’m back in town and to see if you’d be interested in taking some stuff off my hands.”

“Again? What outrageous nonsense have you brought to me this time?”

“What do you mean, nonsense? I’ve been adventuring like the adventurer I am, and it’s all stuff that I earned while I was doing my work!” Technically, that’s all totally true.

“Fine, fine. Let’s talk in my office.” He led us up to his room on the second floor.

The moment we stepped inside, Fel curled up into a ball and fell asleep in the corner. I sipped at a cup of tea that one of the guild’s employees brought me as I told the guildmaster about the treasure I’d obtained on my way back from Rosendahl.

“So, yeah, I was thinking you might want to buy some of the bandit king’s treasure.” I paused. Willem’s mouth was hanging wide open, and he was staring at me in complete, dumbfounded silence. “Umm... Guildmaster?”

He snapped back to reality with a start. “Ah! Lost track of myself for a moment. You really have done the unthinkable again, I swear... I’ll have you know that more adventurers than I can count have gone out searching for the bandit king’s treasure over the years.” He looked oddly conflicted as he explained it all to me.

“Oh, huh. That so?” I didn’t know what else to say. I mean, I found the thing, and there wasn’t much I could do to change that fact. Hell, I was guided there by an oracle from the gods themselves, which made it doubly not my fault.

“So,” Willem continued, “what did you want to sell us?”

“Umm, well, the treasure was mostly coins, jewelry, and the like, but there were also some weapons, armor, and magic items. I was hoping you’d at least be able to take some of the jewelry off my hands.”

“Jewelry, eh? I certainly could buy it off you if you absolutely need me to, but you should know that you’d get a better price if you sold them in a dungeon city or the capital.”

Dungeons were known for producing fine jewelry, and merchants who specialized in the field tended to gather in the cities surrounding said dungeon specifically to buy that sort of item. The capital, meanwhile, was host to the nobility, and they were always in the market for fancy trinkets. Karelina was fairly provincial, as far as cities went, and there just wasn’t that much demand for jewelry and the like. Most of this was news to me, but it did make sense.

“In that case, I’ll try to sell that stuff the next time I’m in a dungeon city... Oh, right! I did have one more favor I wanted to ask, if that’s okay.” I hadn’t paid a copper for any of the stuff I found in the cave, and if it wasn’t worth anything more to me than the price tag a merchant would slap on it, I figured I might as well send something to the king as a gift.

I told the guildmaster about my idea, and he explained that he’d have to report about the bandit king’s treasure finally being discovered to the Adventurer’s guild’s national headquarters in the capital regardless. He said that he could get in contact with the royal palace while he was there.

“No chance they’ll refuse the gift if I tell them it’s coming from you. So, what were you planning on giving him?”

“I was thinking these three might be good.” One of the pieces I’d chosen was a mithril tiara that was covered in diamonds of all shapes and sizes. The second, also made from a base of mithril, was a diamond-studded pendant with a massive ruby set in its center. The last was a beautifully engraved golden ring set with a huge sapphire.

Those three items, plus the mithril and diamond necklace that I’d tried to give to Dora-chan, were the most obviously extravagant pieces of jewelry I’d found in the hoard. Dora-chan had said he didn’t want the necklace, but he also hadn’t seemed to hate the idea of owning it, so I decided to keep it around just in case he changed his mind.

“I’m not even close to an expert on jewelry,” said Willem, “But even I can tell these are worth a fair sum... So, which are you planning to offer?”

Frankly, I would’ve been fine with giving all three of them away. I’d never been interested in jewelry, so even if I kept them I’d just end up selling them in the end. Hmm... Y’know what, why not? I’ll send ’em all the king’s way! Hopefully he’ll take the hint and keep letting me do my own thing without having anyone meddle in my affairs.

“All of them, actually.”

“A-All of them?! You’re a generous one, I’ll give you that. Well, I’m sure the king will be delighted—not to mention the queen.”

Yeah, no kidding. Having both sides of the monarchy backing me couldn’t possibly be a bad thing, in my mind, and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if she held an awful lot of power herself. This world was no different from mine, in that respect.

There was no way the guildmaster could carry jewelry that valuable to the capital on his own, so he made arrangements for a couple of former high-ranking adventurers who worked as instructors at the guild to escort him there. He would set out in roughly a week.

I felt bad about making him go through the trouble, but he reassured me that his branch had made almost unbelievable profits thanks to my work, and that it was the least he could do to repay me. I agreed to keep hold of the items until the day of his departure.

After that, we moved over to the storehouse to take a look at the weapons, armor, and magic items I was thinking of selling. There weren’t all that many of them, but since each one would require appraisal, I was told it would take around five days for them to finish.

With that, our business at the Adventurer’s guild was settled. Fel and I set off to our next destination: Lambert’s store.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Nice to see you, Marie! Is Lambert in?”

“Oh, Mukohda! You’re back in town? Welcome!”

“Looks like business is booming, huh?”

Marie chuckled. “All thanks to you! Karelina’s women can’t do without your shampoo and soap anymore. I’ve heard rumors that some of our customers come all the way from out of town, just to shop at our store!”

Considering the world was more or less overrun with monsters, traveling from town to town carried substantial risk. Apparently, though, there were people willing to take that risk just for a bar of soap. I was once again struck by how terribly tenacious women could be when it came to cosmetics.

“I’d love to open up a branch store, really...” muttered Marie. I took that as a hint that she wanted me to provide her an even bigger stock than I already was. Kosti, whom I’d put in charge of my shampoo and soap stocks, had already mentioned in passing that she’d been asking about bumping up those numbers.

They really are flying off the shelves, huh? I mean, all I have to do on my end is buy ’em from my Online Supermarket, so it’s not like it’d be impossible... Guess I’ll have to ask everyone in charge of repackaging the stuff to pick up the pace a little.

“I’m not sure how much more I’ll be able to get you, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Really?! Please do, absolutely! We’re counting on you!” Her eyes were so wide and she was staring at me so intently, it was sorta scary...

“Y-Yeah, great. Umm, so, is Lambert around?”

“Oh, pardon me for delaying you! I was so distracted by my own affairs, I forgot entirely. My husband’s in the back—please, follow me.”

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“In short,” Lambert concluded after a lengthy explanation, “your hair growth formula is practically flying off the shelves in the capital!” He’d brought fifty bottles of Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power to present to Earl Langridge, but he’d also taken an additional fifty to sell, and those had vanished in the blink of an eye.

“And that’s in spite of the fact that I only sold them to customers the earl directly introduced me to!” he excitedly declared. “Of course, it only takes a glance at the earl himself to see how effective the formula really is.”

That was pretty easy to believe. According to Lambert, the earl’s transformation was nothing short of astonishing. He was a walking advertisement for the formula, and an exceptionally effective one at that.

“It would seem the earl has shared his portion with a number of his close associates as well. He told me at great length how effective of a tool it was.” I assumed that in this instance he was talking about its efficacy as a tool of diplomacy, not about how well it made hair grow. It wasn’t surprising, really. If someone who was worried about their thinning hair saw the earl before and after his transformation, of course they’d want to learn his secret, no matter what it took.

In any case, the earl had become an overnight sensation among the capital’s nobility, and it wasn’t long before he’d received a veritable mountain of invitations to parties and the like. Whether that was all part of his plan or just a happy coincidence, the earl didn’t waste the opportunity to make the rounds in the nobles’ social world and forge as many connections as possible.

Perhaps thanks to those efforts, Lambert was bombarded with introductions and business inquiries from the earl’s acquaintances. Knowing an incredible opportunity when he saw one, Lambert rushed back to Karelina, picked up the remaining stock of the formula I’d initially sold him, then took off for the capital once more without a moment’s rest.

“And would you believe those hundred extra bottles sold out in a flash as well?!” he exclaimed.

I remembered him saying that he’d set the price at fifty gold coins for a single bottle, but apparently he’d been selling it bundled together with the shampoo I provided to him, making it even pricier. Considering his buyers were almost all nobles, I guess the price didn’t really matter much at all. Either that, or his sales just went to show how many of them were worried about their hair. Maybe managing a domain like lords do was more stressful than you’d think?

From the sound of things, Lambert had managed to make a fair share of connections with his noble buyers as well. A merchant’s business lives and dies on the people they know, so he was ecstatic that things had turned out that way.

“As such, I’d be most obliged if you could provide more stock of your formula!” He explained that not only had the earl requested another delivery of the stuff on the double, but the nobles who he’d introduced Lambert to were just as persistent on the matter.

He wanted the same number as last time—two hundred bottles—at the very least, and as fast as I could procure them. If more than two hundred was feasible, he’d take as many as I could possibly provide. His attitude made it clear just how great the demand for the formula was.

That wasn’t even the end of his story. According to Lambert, the earl’s wife and daughter had heard the rumors about the shampoo I’d been selling through his shop and had gone out of their way to obtain it before anyone else in the capital. It had very quickly become something of a daily essential for them.

Not just the shampoo either—they’d also had my hair treatment, hair packs, and high-quality rose-scented soap brought into the capital. According to Lambert, their hair could hardly look more luxuriously silky. There was no way the other noblewomen and girls would let that pass by without comment.

“I guess they’re probably attracting just as much attention as the earl, huh?” I mused.

“They are, yes, and thanks to them we’ve received an absolute flood of orders for all of our hair products.”

“Marie did mention that she’d like to stock more shampoo and soap, if I could manage it. Guess all those orders from the capital would explain that.”

“It certainly would! I’ve seen products being sold in stores in the capital that I’m quite certain originated in my shop.”

Resellers, huh? That explains a lot too. I’d thought I’d left him with an ample supply before I’d departed for Rosendahl, but that might’ve been optimistic of me. I was starting to understand just how crazy the demand was.

Incidentally, we’d been using wooden tags to keep track of Lambert’s sales and how much he owed me, and their current balance worked out to well over two thousand gold coins. It was already extremely clear that the Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power would be profitable, so he agreed to pay me up front in cash for those.

I wanted to stay in Lambert’s good graces, so I felt obligated to fulfill his requests. In other words, things were going to get a lot busier for everyone back home. I decided to ask Tabatha and the other guards if they could start helping out with that.

“Okay, I think I get the picture. I’ll do my best to provide you the stock you need.” He wanted it as quickly as possible, so after a bit of discussion we decided that I’d deliver the goods in two days’ time.

“Oh, and while we’re at it, the earl mentioned something you should probably be aware of.” Lambert explained that the earl had attended a banquet at the royal palace, where I’d happened to come up in a conversation with the king himself. The earl had mentioned he’d met me, and the king had dropped some roundabout hints that he would very much like to make my acquaintance as well.

The earl, of course, knew about my distaste for associating with bigwigs and was apparently rather put on the spot. After all, he knew very well that Fel was my familiar, and that meant that he couldn’t force me to do anything against my will. There was no telling what Fel might do to him if he tried.

The king knew that just as well, in theory, but I could imagine he was somewhat put off by the fact that I’d met with an earl but still showed no inclination to pay him a visit. It wasn’t totally unreasonable—I’d been making excuses to avoid an audience with him for a long time, at that point, and still had yet to meet with him so much as once.

But all that said, it wasn’t like I’d met with Earl Langridge by choice. The circumstances at the time had forced my hand. Plus, I figured his resentment probably wouldn’t last after he received the extravagant three-piece jewelry set I’d be sending his way. Looking at it that way, there couldn’t have been a better time to accidentally offend the king.

I’d heard that the king of this country was a very practical sort of person, and I was sure he’d appreciate the ‘I’d like to stay in your good graces’ nuance to my little gift. This was the second time I’d sent him a present, after all.

“I don’t think that’s going to be a problem,” I reassured Lambert. “I’ve already got a plan to keep the king happy with me. Let the earl know that I’ll be fine, okay?”

“Well, if you’re certain! I’ll inform the earl, of course.”

Although, if I’d read the king wrong and he started raising a fuss about this, I could always get all my stuff together and move my entire household to another country. I didn’t think it’d come to that, but I was keeping my options open.

“All right, I’ll be back again the day after tomorrow!”

“I’ll look forward to the delivery—thank you again!”

《Hey, Fel,》 I projected telepathically, 《we’re heading home now!》

He yawned as he sluggishly roused himself. 《Finally. I have grown hungry.》

《I know, I know, we’ll eat when we get back. Dora-chan and Sui’re probably awake and waiting for us by now.》

Fel still looked half-asleep, but he plodded along at an impressive pace as we made for home.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

I stopped by a few general stores on the way back from Lambert’s place and bought up as many bottles as I could to package the Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power in. Counting the bottles I’d bought when I’d made the first batch, I had about a thousand in stock by the end of it. I figured that’d be plenty.

The moment I got home I went straight to Tony’s and Alban’s houses to ask them to help get all the shampoos and stuff repackaged. I knew they’d have to spend all their time on the job if they wanted to get it done in two days, so I offered to handle cooking their meals until they finished. Lambert had asked me to get him as much product as I possibly could, so I also asked everyone to work overtime if they could manage it.

In exchange, I offered to get a present for everyone—they could each ask for one thing, whatever they wanted. Tony and Alban refused at first, claiming that I was already providing them a lifestyle beyond their wildest imagination and that it would be unthinkable to ask for more, but I thought it was totally reasonable to compensate them for working during a time they’d usually spend relaxing at home. I would absolutely not let my home turn into some sorta sweatshop.

The kids, in contrast, were raring to go after I explained my offer to them. I wanted all hands on deck if possible, so I asked Tabatha and the other guards if they could help as well, and they were all for it. With me at home—and more importantly, with Fel at home—they didn’t really have to bother going on guard duty anyway, and had plenty of spare time.

With that, everyone was ready to get to work repackaging my cosmetics. I, meanwhile, got an early start on making everyone’s dinner.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Buying up all the bottles I could get my hands on had taken a pretty long while, and by the time I got back it was well past lunch time. Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui were practically drooling with anticipation, but I managed to pacify them with a massive helping of premade food I had in stock.

“I’m planning on making more meat than even you guys could eat for dinner tonight, so you’ll have to hold yourselves over with that for now.”

“I shall consider that a promise. I will not allow you to change your mind under any circumstances!”

《Lookin’ forward to it!》

《Masteeer, I wanna eat lots and lots of meat!》

Ha ha, looks like they’ve got their expectations way up. That wasn’t a problem, though. I had absolute confidence that the dish I was planning to make would satisfy my carnivorous familiars.

This time, I’d be making beef cutlets for everyone. At first I’d been planning on making another hot pot, since it’s such an easy dish to share with a large group, but with everyone working so hard for my sake I decided to make something a little more extravagant than I usually would.

It didn’t take long to settle on a main ingredient, considering the ridiculous excess of dungeon meat I had on hand. When I thought about extravagant meat dishes, a big, thick cut of steak was the first thing that came to mind, but that seemed sort of uninspired, and I eventually settled on beef cutlets as a more elaborate alternative.

I used to make them for myself every once in a while—mostly when I’d just gotten paid and was in the mood to splurge. They satisfy a different sort of appetite than steak does, especially when you smother them in a rich, thick demi-glace sauce, and I find myself craving them every once in a while.

There was a fringe benefit to making beef cutlets, as well: whenever I made them, I’d always make a few extra to use in sandwiches the next day. Beef cutlet sandwiches have a special sort of appeal to them, even a day after you made the cutlets themselves. Just thinking about them was starting to make me drool.

At that point, I was totally settled on making beef cutlets for dinner. And with that decision made, my next step was to move over to the kitchen and buy all the ingredients I needed off my Online Supermarket. It was a shorter list than usual since I already had the dungeon beef I’d be using as the main ingredient, and I had plenty of cabbage and tomatoes from Alban’s garden.

I bought flour, eggs, and panko for the breading, plus canned demi-glace, red wine, and butter for the sauce. I’d need ketchup, Worcestershire sauce, and sugar for the sauce as well, but I already had all those on hand. A cardboard box full of all the ingredients appeared out of thin air the moment I paid my bill, and I got to cooking right away.

First up was the demi-glace sauce. I’d made some before back when I used chimera meat to make cutlets, but I’d be adding some red wine this time around to give it an even greater depth of flavor.

Step one is to bring the red wine to a boil and reduce it to roughly half its initial volume. Then you just add the can of premade demi-glace, some Worcestershire sauce, ketchup, butter, and sugar. Simmer it all for another two minutes or so, and it’s ready to go! I’d spoon it over the beef cutlets right before serving them.

And on that note, it was time to make the cutlets themselves! You start by cutting dungeon beef (the high-grade stuff, of course) into relatively thick slices, seasoning them with salt and pepper. Then you dredge them in flour, shake off the excess, dip them in the beaten egg, and cover them in panko. Next, just fry them until they’re golden-brown on both sides.

Scoop the cutlets out from the oil, then let them rest on a cooling rack for a minute or two so the lingering heat can finish permeating through the meat. All that’s left at that point is to slice them into bite-sized strips and cover them in the demi-glace.

I looked down at my own handiwork and gulped. “Man, these turned out really well, if I do say so myself!” One of a cook’s privileges is being the first to taste test their own handiwork, and I couldn’t resist immediately taking advantage of that right. I bit into a piece of cutlet with an incredibly loud crunch.

“Oh, man that’s good!” The dungeon meat was cooked to a perfect rare, its insides still soft, pink, and juicy. The demi-glace was exactly as rich and full-bodied as I’d hoped, and complemented the cutlet exquisitely.

As I helped myself to the freshly-fried cutlet, I felt something poking at my shin. Glancing down, I found that I had a guest.

“Oh, hey, Sui.”

《Masteeer, Sui wants to try some too!》

I was pretty impressed that it had managed to catch me right as I was taste testing the dish. On the other hand, I was surprised that only Sui had caught me. Where were Fel and Dora-chan? I glanced around—from the look of things, the two of them were in the living room, and showed no signs of wandering into the kitchen.

“I made this for taste testing, so just a little, okay?” I whispered to Sui. “Oh, and don’t tell the others!”

《Okay! Sui’ll keep it secret from Fel and Dora-chan!》 I surreptitiously set the rest of the cutlet down for Sui to try. 《This is so tasty!》

“Right? You can eat your fill of it at dinnertime, so be patient until then.”

《Okaaay! Sui’s so excited for dinner!》 It bounced about happily as it went back into the living room.

“All right, looks like they’re really gonna stuff themselves this time. I’d better fry up as much as possible.” I just kept frying and frying, swapping out the oil every once in a while, until I had enough cutlets for both dinner and the next day’s sandwiches.

“Phew!” I exclaimed after I’d finally finished. “Think that should do it, hopefully. Feels like a good time to have everyone wrap up their repackaging work for the day too.” I headed downstairs to the workshop where everyone was busy with all those cosmetics.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

When everyone had gathered in the dining room and sat down at the table as usual, I brought out a platter piled high with beef cutlets and smothered in demi-glace sauce. I’d kept them in my Item Box, so needless to say they were still piping hot. I also served shredded cabbage and quartered tomatoes from Alban’s garden on the side, along with a bunch of dinner rolls I bought from my Online Supermarket. Everyone was free to help themselves.

I gave Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui their own individual plates, each of which had five beef cutlets covered with demi-glace stacked on top. No veggies for them, apparently. Everything from Alban’s garden was delicious, so they were really missing out.

“Thanks for all your hard work today, everyone!” I said, addressing the table. “Let’s dig in!”

I crunched into a piece of the cutlet, and yup, it was just as delicious as it’d been when I was taste testing them. That’s when I noticed that it was really quiet. Like, weirdly quiet. I glanced around the dinner table and found that everyone else was absolutely spellbound as they slowly and deliberately savored their first bites of their cutlets. A moment later they swallowed, took a deep breath, and started raving about how good it was.

“Mom, dad, this is so tasty!” cried Lotte. “I’ve never had meat like this before!”

“It really is,” replied Theresa as she wiped a tear from her eye. “I can’t believe we’re allowed to eat something this delicious...” Alban was in tears as well. And Tony and Aija, for that matter. Wait, seriously? I know it’s good, but it’s nothing to cry over, is it?

“Everything Mukohda’s made us has been incredible,” said Tabatha, “but tonight’s is a cut above. This stuff’s really something special.” The other former adventurers all nodded in agreement.

“Okay, okay, you don’t have to be all solemn about it! C’mon, eat up! There’s plenty for everyone to have seconds.”

The twins were the first to take me up on it. “Seconds?!” shouted Luke. “Seriously?! We can have more?!”

“Three cheers for mister generous!” added Irvine.

“Yeah, you can, but I’m gonna work you hard again tomorrow in exchange,” I cautioned.

“We know!” they shouted in unison before stuffing their faces.

《I demand seconds!》 roared Fel in my mind barely a second later. 《You were not exaggerating—this is easily as delicious as you claimed!》

《Seconds for me too! This sauce is crazy rich! It works so well with the meat! I love it!》

《Sui wants to eat more too!》

“Right, right, I know—pff!” I barely stifled a laugh. Fel and Dora-chan’s mouths were totally covered in demi-glace. Hah! I’ll have to wipe that off for them later.