Chapter 4: A Moment of Relief & Wait, Him? Seriously?

Everyone got right back to repackaging cosmetics early the next morning. I ended up helping out for a few hours as well. Between this morning’s work session and yesterday’s, we managed to produce a pretty decent stock of Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power, which was a relief. At the rate things were going, I wouldn’t have to ask everyone to work overtime again that evening.

When it felt like we were at a good stopping point, I suggested that we break for lunch. I already had our food all ready: we’d be eating the beef cutlet sandwiches I’d made the night before.

To make a cutlet sandwich, you just lightly toast two pieces of bread, then spread butter and spicy Japanese mustard on them. Since Sui and the kids would be eating them as well, I decided to go light on the mustard this time. Then you sauce up a cutlet, sandwich it between the slices of bread, and, well, that’s all it takes!

It’s a super simple recipe, but oh man, are they ever tasty. You could add cabbage or lettuce to the sandwich if you wanted, but I’m of the opinion that when you use a nice cut of meat for the cutlet, those just distract from the experience.

Lotte was absolutely beaming as she bit into her sandwich. “This is so good!” she shouted ecstatically. Oliver, Erik, Kosti, and Selja were smiling just as broadly as they ate. As expected, the sandwiches were a hit with the kids. In my experience, children love foods they can really sink their teeth into, as it were.

Which isn’t to say the adults weren’t enjoying theirs! The way they were scarfing them down made it pretty clear that they liked them. I couldn’t blame them for eating like that—not to talk myself up or anything, but the sandwiches really were just that good. Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui were all totally absorbed in their meals too.

《Another!》

《Make that two!》

《Sui wants more!》

Did you guys even chew? I mean, I get it, you like the sandwiches, but that was crazy fast! I figured I might as well bring out my whole stock, and piled up a veritable mountain of cutlet sandwiches on a platter. My familiars were more than happy to dig into them.

Meanwhile, Irvine was sighing with satisfaction. “Seriously,” he said, “getting to eat something this delicious for lunch is as good as it gets!” Everyone else agreed, the former adventurers nodding with particular vigor.

“Working as an adventurer means skipping out on lunch, more often than not,” explained Luke. The others piped up in agreement once again.

Huh? But wait—I’m technically an adventurer too, and I’ve been eating three square meals a day without fail! I mean, technically I’ve ended up too busy to make lunch a few times, but my familiars always give me an earful when that happens, so I try to avoid it at all costs. Making sure our meals don’t get disrupted has been priority one for me.

“Rations’re ’bout the best you can expect when you’re out on a quest,” added Barthel with a grimace. “The worst’re those long-term jobs, like when you get stuck on escort duty...”

“Those rations are so bad, I can barely bring myself to eat them...” said Peter in a quiet, solemn tone. The other former adventurers nodded in agreement.

I knew about rations too, of course, but since I had a handy little skill called Online Supermarket I’d never actually needed to try them. From what I understood, they were made by working flour and water into a paste and baking it to make an incredibly unpalatable cracker. Flavor aside, they were supposedly incredible for replenishing your energy when you were out on the job, and as such were an indispensable asset for travelers and adventurers.

“I swear, it feels like my mouth goes bone dry the second I bite into one of those things,” commented Irvine. “And the more you chew, the worse it gets. It’s like trying to eat wadded-up chunks of paper.”

Apparently, that was a step too far for Tabatha’s taste. “Dammit, Irvine, we’re eating the best food we’ve ever had and you’re making me think about how rations taste?!” she shouted as she smacked him upside the head.

“Ow! What was that for?! Back me up here, Mukohda—you’re an adventurer, right? You know how vile those things are!”

Oh, come on, why’re you asking me?

“W-Well, I, uh, actually...” My stammering only attracted more attention than ever. Everyone, from the former adventurers to Alban and Tony’s families, was totally focused on me. “Umm, I know about rations, but I’ve never actually bought them, I guess... I mean, you know how it is for me! I couldn’t exactly buy food I know’s going to be gross, could I?”

I glanced over at Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui. Just imagining what would happen if I served up something nasty was unpleasant. Worst-case scenario, Fel could freak out and go on a rampage. And if a legendary monster like him ran wild... I shivered. Seriously, I don’t even wanna think about it.

“What was that about gross food? I trust you know what will happen if you serve me something unpalatable...do you not?” Fel, sharp-eared as ever, gave me a suspicious glare.

“Y-Yeah, I know, of course! I’ve never served you anything nasty so far, have I?”

“Hmph! So long as you are aware of where you stand, there will not be an issue.”

The others, who’d been listening in to our exchange, suddenly looked a lot more understanding than they had before. “You’ve got it rougher than it looks, huh?” muttered Luke, seemingly on behalf of the rest of the group.

Yeah, those three are a huge help, but they only really pull out the stops when food’s involved. You’d never know it from looking at them, but my familiars are a real bunch of foodies.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Later that day, Fel decided to interrogate me about the dishes I’d told him I could make using the magic refrigerator. I caved, and was busy preparing a massive quantity of cockatrice meat to marinate in the fridge (some in a soy-sauce-based marinade, and some in a salt-based one) when Aija came looking for me.

“Excuse me! We’ve finished repackaging everything you asked for.”

“Oh, wow, already? Great work, thanks!” I went straight down into the basement, where I found an absolute ton of neatly stacked boxes filled to the brim with all sorts of bottles. Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power, shampoo, soap, it was all there. Even setting aside the Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power, there was enough shampoo and soap to fulfill several ordinary deliveries, from what I could tell.

I figured that had to be enough to satisfy Lambert, at least for tomorrow’s order. With the work all finished, I had everyone gather up in the living room so I could listen to their requests, just like I’d promised.

“All right, great work, everyone! A promise is a promise, so I owe all of you one thing, whatever you want. Who’s up first?”

Unsurprisingly, the first person to raise her hand was the ever unreserved Lotte. “Me, me, me!” she shouted. “I want something sweet!”

“Something sweet, huh? I can work with that—wait just a second.” I opened up my Online Supermarket.

“Something sweet” would mean candy, I guess... Oh, I should go with hard candy! That way it’ll last her for a long time. Hmm... Oh man, these’re a blast from the past!

I’d found a sort of hard candy that had been sold since long before I was born. They came in little tin cans with openings just big enough to shake one candy out from. Since each tin can contained a bunch of flavors and you never knew which was going to come out, they were a lot more interesting than individually packaged candies you could pick and choose from. I decided they’d be perfect for Lotte.

“All right, here you go! Do you see the little cap here? You just pull it open like this...” I popped the lid off the can. “Okay, hold out your hand.” She did, and I shook a single piece of hard candy into her tiny palm.

“Wooow, it’s so pretty!”

“Go on, eat it! Careful, though, don’t bite down.” She popped the candy into her mouth.

“Itsh sho shweet!”

“Right? There’s a bunch of different flavors in there. Just try not to eat them all in one sitting, okay?” Lotte was overjoyed as I passed the tin over to her.

“Now, who’s next?” I looked around at everyone, and my gaze eventually fell on Selja, who was fidgeting excitedly. “What would you like, Selja?”

“Umm, well—please wait just a moment!” She dashed out of the room, only to return a short while later clutching the notebook I’d given her before I left for Rosendahl. “I want one of these!”

“Whoa, does that mean you already used that one up?” She held the notebook open, and every one of its pages was indeed covered in densely packed writing. She’d really been practicing as hard as she could—even the margins were full of letters. I felt sort of proud of her. “You really used every last bit of this thing, huh? That’s awesome, great work!”

She looked a little embarrassed by my praise. A moment later Lotte’s brothers, Oliver and Erik, piped up as well.

“U-Umm, I’d like the same as her, please!”

“M-Me too!”

Those two must be studying hard too, huh? This is giving me an idea...

“All right, then—I’ll get full writing sets for all three of you!”

The sets I bought for them each contained ten notebooks, a dozen pencils, and three erasers. That many notebooks and writing implements would surely last them a fairly long while. I know I said I’d get everybody one thing they asked for, but even though there were a bunch of things in each set they still counted as one set for each of them. I mean, everything was packaged together, so of course it counted as one! And if I say it counts as one, it counts as one, end of discussion.

“I’d, umm, like the same, thanks!” said Kosti, who’d been helping teach the others. I bought a set for him too. Guess teaching everyone had the side effect of encouraging him to further his own studies as well.

Man, what a good kid! I only ever studied the night before my tests when I was a student, if that. All these kids are really something compared to a slacker like me.

“Could I have one of those as well, please?”

“Huh? You too, Peter? You’re sure that’s all you want?”

Peter nodded. “I really like studying. Learning new things always feels really nice.” Come to think of it, Barthel had mentioned that Peter’d been studying hard. I nodded happily—getting educated would be good for him, no doubt about it. I bought another set of writing implements for him.

“Next up is... How about Tony, Aija, Alban, and Theresa? What do you all want?” The four of them had been really hesitant to ask for anything at first, but I wasn’t about to let them go unrewarded. I’d made a promise, after all, and it’d be really unfair if I bought stuff for some people but not others.

I kept emphasizing that they could ask for anything until they all finally came up with something. Tony wanted a sturdy hatchet that would let him cut through thicker vines and branches in the yard, Aija wanted a nice, big frying pan, Alban wanted a hoe to help him plow his field, and Theresa wanted a bigger pot.

I’d been under the impression that Alban already had a hoe, and it turned out he did at one point, but its handle had apparently snapped recently. He had other tools available that he could use, but when all was said and done none of them let him do as good and quick of a job as a decent hoe would, so he wanted a nice, sturdy one that would last. The first hoe breaking might’ve been my bad, I reflected. It was totally possible that it hadn’t been a particularly good one to begin with.

The frying pan and pot were kitchen tools, so I knew for a fact I could get them from my Online Supermarket, but I wasn’t so sure about the hoe and the hatchet. It turned out I needn’t have worried—the menu had a gardening tab which offered exactly what I needed. I was once again reminded that my Online Supermarket’s selection of products was nothing to scoff at.

I bought Aija a big, deep frying pan that was advertised as nonstick, scorch-resistant, and easy to maintain, while I got Theresa a very large and sturdy-looking stockpot made of stainless steel. There was only one hoe and one hatchet available for Tony and Alban, but both of them looked like they were of decent enough quality. Everyone was really happy with their rewards.

That just left Tabatha, the twins, and Barthel. I could more or less guess what they’d want, but I decided to ask anyway, just for good measure.

“Booze, o’course!” cried Barthel, to nobody’s surprise. “What else would I want? I’ll take that strong stuff you gave us before!”

“Same over here! I’ll have more of that ‘beer,’ myself!” added Luke.

Irvine quickly jumped in as well. “Beer for me too! Thought the stuff was bitter and kinda nasty at first, but it’s the damnedest thing—the more I drink, the better it tastes.”

“How about you, Tabatha?”

“I’ll, umm, I’d like... I think I’d like some of the shampoo and hair treatment that you’re selling at Lambert’s place.”

Wait, really? I was convinced she’d ask for alcohol too, but guess not. It did make a certain amount of sense—I’d provided everyone with a stock of shampoo, but it was that two-in-one combination shampoo and conditioner stuff, so if she wanted her hair to be really nice and silky, having separate shampoo and hair treatments would probably help.

“Okay, sure, can do. So that makes booze for Barthel, Irvine, and Luke, plus shampoo and hair treatment for Tabatha.” I opened up my Online Supermarket once again and bought everything they wanted.

It felt like buying Tabatha exactly the same stuff that they sell in Lambert’s store wouldn’t really feel like a special, personal reward, so I decided to get something of roughly the same value from a different brand instead. It was an old, well-established and respected brand, just like the stuff I sold wholesale to Lambert, but unlike that shampoo, this one was designed with a focus on bringing unruly hair under control. Considering how much hair Tabatha had to work with, I figured that’d probably be desirable. It also had a fruity scent with a subtle floral hint to it, which was nice.

“Pff, look at her, finally setting her sights on a guy! Figures it’d be Pe—”

“Shut up, dumbass!” Luke clamped a hand over Irvine’s mouth, but it was too late. Tabatha was already smiling in that absolutely terrifying sort of way that tells you you’re in big, big trouble. Morons.

“Irvine, Luke,” she growled, “stick around after we’re done here. We’re gonna have a little talk.”

“Wha—hey! I didn’t say anything, I’m innocent!” protested Luke.

“Shut it! You’re guilty by association!”

“Oh, come on! Man, why’d you have to drag me into this?” Luke pouted, smacking Irvine upside the head.

“My bad, my bad,” said Irvine. “Just slipped out, y’know? I mean, come on, when was the last time we got to see her act like this? Never, that’s when! What is she, a maiden who’s found her first love? Ha ha ha ha!”

“Hah! I mean, yeah, I get it, but you still can’t say stuff like that! Times like these, it’s a sibling’s job to keep quiet no matter how funny it is.”

“Irviiine? Luuuke? Shut. Up.”

“S-Stay calm, okay, Tabatha?” I said as carefully as possible.

It’s not like I don’t understand how you feel, but seriously, chill out. And wait—first love? Tabatha? She’s in love? Since when? With whom? I looked over at Tabatha, who was blushing as she shot glances toward Peter.

Wait, him? Seriously? I-I mean, not like I have a problem with my workers falling in love, and I’m definitely not the sort of jerk who’d try to meddle with their love lives. I think this budding romance is gonna be pretty rough on the both of them, though...

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

I delivered the goods to Lambert without issue. The final shipment came out to around a thousand bottles of Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power, which had Lambert absolutely over the moon. I was hopeful that having that big of a stock would help things calm down on his end, at least a little.

I ended up deciding to deliver the usual amount of shampoo and whatnot, but also let him know that we had more in stock if he ever needed to place another order. He paid me...a lot. Like, a lot of money for it. The sack he handed over to me was small, but it was absolutely stuffed full of shiny platinum coins.

Now fully stocked with hair tonic, shampoo, and all that stuff, Lambert informed me that he’d be heading back to the capital at some point within the next few days. He’d made the rather shrewd decision of accompanying the master of the Adventurer’s guild.

With two former high-ranking adventurers serving as the guildmaster’s guard, Lambert would be in good company. He’d also hired a party of adventurers he and I were well acquainted with—Phoenix—to come along, so the trip to the capital would be just about as safe as it could ever possibly be. I had to imagine that having a big shot like the guildmaster along would make for a pretty stressful journey on Phoenix’s part, though.

My business with Lambert settled, I was on my way back home when Fel suddenly spoke to me telepathically.

《Is it not time for us to go yet?》

《Time for us to go where?》 I didn’t want to attract suspicion from any passersby, so I responded telepathically as well.

《To our next dungeon, of course!》

《You mean the one in the next country over that’s supposed to be super hard?》

《Indeed. Though the last dungeon provided us with an ample supply of meat, it was also a joke. I want a challenge!》

Ugh... I was hoping my familiars had forgotten about that place. No such luck, I guess.

《Dungeooon!》 The word must’ve caught Sui’s attention. It started quivering with excitement in my bag.

《With this delivery done, your business in this city is complete, is it not? Let us depart for the next dungeon at once. I look forward to seeing whether a ‘super hard’ challenge proves a true test of my mettle.》

《Right?!》 shouted Dora-chan, who chose that moment to join the conversation. 《Let’s hurry up and get moving!》

《Sui wants to go to the dungeon too!》

All three of them were chomping at the bit to rush off to the murder dungeon. I, in contrast, really wanted to take some more time to actually enjoy my new home. I’d just bought the thing, for crying out loud!

《W-Well, but, I mean, uhh... R-Right, that’s it, I asked the Adventurer’s guild to assess those magic items and see if they’d buy them, so we have to wait till they’re done.》

《Hmph! They said it would take five days, did they not? In other words...they will be finished three days from now.》 Dang it! Fel’s memory is obnoxiously good when he wants it to be.

《Okay, but, like, there’s a whole bunch of other stuff I have to get done here too!》

《Nothing you cannot finish in three days, surely? You will finish your business, and we will depart at once. Understood?》

I hesitated, but there was no way out of it. Fel was clearly not open to compromise. 《Understood.》 Ugh, this sucks!

It was settled—we’d be leaving for the next dungeon in three days’ time. Dora-chan and Sui were thrilled.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

With our dungeon plans set in stone, much to my chagrin, I had to prepare our mid-journey meals right away. It was a major time sink, but there was no telling how Fel and the others would react if I didn’t put the effort in. We’d be traveling to another country this time around, so it’d likely be a long journey. I had to be really thorough with my preparations.

Since I was stocking up anyway, I took the opportunity to buy all the daily necessities everyone back home would need while we were away. I was anticipating a roughly three-month trip, just like I’d budgeted for our journey to Rosendahl, so I bought more or less the same things as last time. Everyone told me that they still had plenty left over from what I bought them back then, so they’d be fine with less this time around, but I figured there was no harm in keeping them well-provisioned, and I got them the same amount anyway.

Aija and Theresa were in charge of making everyone’s meals, so I left them with three months’ worth of food (meat, seasonings, and the like) plus some money to buy flour and whatever vegetables they couldn’t grow themselves in the field out back. They were both astonished and tried to convince me that they still had food and money left over from last time, but again, nothing wrong with giving them a little extra. I’d lent them a Magic Bag, so it wasn’t like they had to worry about any of it spoiling.

Next up were Barthel and the twins. They’d asked—almost demanded, really—that I leave some booze with them, and they practically jumped for joy when I acquiesced. I cautioned them not to overdo it when I handed the bottles over, but there was no telling how that’d turn out. I wasn’t too worried, though, seeing as Tabatha was around to make sure things didn’t get too out of hand.

The regular study group, of course, would be carrying on as usual. The kids and Peter were already so gung ho about it, I didn’t even need to encourage them. Tabatha had a natural talent for taking care of people, so she made for an excellent teacher. According to the kids, she was always incredibly kind and helpful whenever they asked about something they didn’t understand—they made it very clear how much they loved their beloved Miss Tabatha. Tabatha, meanwhile, seemed a little embarrassed about getting called “Miss,” but not totally displeased.

In the end, my preparations for the trip were complete and everything at home was so squared away that I figured I wouldn’t have to worry about everyone while I was gone. Even if the absolute worst-case scenario came to pass, I’d made sure to pay them their wages well in advance. If something happened to me, they’d still be able to take care of themselves.

All that was left was that month’s offering to the gods. I’d taken some time the night before to listen to their requests, so all I had to do was buy everything off my Online Supermarket—not that anyone had asked for anything different this time around.

Ninrir raised a fuss about wanting Fumiya’s cakes, as usual. She took great care to remind me to get her all the seasonal cakes I could manage. That made things easy enough, so I opened my Online Supermarket and went straight to Fumiya’s menu.

Oooh, they’ve got a Girls’ Day promotion going on right now? I guess it must be early March back in Japan, then. Part of the Girls’ Day tradition in Japan involves displaying a pair of ornamental dolls representing the Emperor and Empress, and the first cake to catch my eye was an incredibly elaborate shortcake with what looked like those little dolls made out of marzipan on top, along with a bunch of sliced peaches.

I also got her a chocolate cream shortcake with an image of the same traditional dolls drawn on a white chocolate plate on top, plus a strawberry compote tart for good measure. I got all of them as whole cakes, naturally, though I also threw in about ten assorted cake slices, plus a bunch of her favorite dorayaki and pound cake. I figured that would be enough for her.

I...hoped that would be enough for her.

In any case, whether or not it lasted her a month was all up to Ninrir’s own sense of self-restraint. As a side note, it might not’ve been any of my business, but the other gods had all been harping on her weight an awful lot lately. I couldn’t help but worry if she’d regret all that cake eventually, but, well, I’d just have to hope she’d be responsible about it. It wasn’t my responsibility, that was for darn sure.

Next up was Kisharle. Needless to say, she asked for beauty products again. She happened to be just about exactly a month away from running out of her usual skincare products, so she asked for a set of facial foam, cream, lotion, and the like. She’d also taken a particular liking to a premium beauty lotion I’d bought her recently. It was supposedly packed full of all sorts of beautifying compounds, and she had me order her another package of it.

Finally, she told me she’d been worried her skin was losing its luster lately. I was vaguely aware that that sort of issue was caused by gunk building up in your pores, so I bought her a mud mask that was supposedly really effective at cleaning those out. It was pretty expensive, but it apparently had a reputation for being quite gentle on the skin in spite of the fact that it was made of mud, so I imagined it would satisfy her.

Then there was Agni, who asked for beer, just like she always did. I got her a pack of beers from various microbreweries, a pack of foreign beers from all across the world, the usual premium and black beers from S-company, and a case of Y-bisu beer. She’d also really liked the hot dogs I’d given her the previous month and asked for them again. I didn’t have any on hand, so I ended up throwing a batch of them together in a rush.

For the rest of her offering, she told me to just give her “whatever you think would be good with beer.” I’d made a bunch of beef, pork, and ground meat cutlets for the journey ahead, so I decided to give her some of those along with an assortment of other fried stuff I’d made.

Ruka, as usual, asked for cake and ice cream. She wanted slices of cake as opposed to whole cakes this time, so she could try as many varieties as possible. I ended up getting her a wide assortment of the cake slices Fumiya had to offer. I went in a similar direction with the ice cream, getting her as many flavors from as many brands as I could manage out of both Fumiya and my basic Online Supermarket’s selection.

She also asked for the hot pots we’d eaten recently—apparently, she’d been watching us at the time and developed a craving for them. She wanted both the cockatrice and tomato hot pot we’d eaten on the road as well as the dungeon pork mille-feuille hot pot I’d made just the other day, so I made one of each for her. Fel, of course, showed up almost immediately and waited behind me in the hopes of a meal, drooling all the while. So that was awkward.

Last up were the two boozehounds, Hephaestos and Vahagn. They wanted, surprise surprise, whiskey. They kicked up a huge fuss about how they literally couldn’t live without the stuff anymore, then asked for their usual one bottle each of the world’s best whiskey and left the rest up to me. As always, I turned to Liquor Shop Tanaka for their portion.

I scanned through the shop’s stock, and eventually discovered that you could actually narrow down the ranking lists, to an extent. For instance, I could go to the whiskey menu, search for Scotch whisky in particular, and it would bring up a specific ranking of only Scotch whiskies. I recognized a few of them as brands that I’d already bought for the two gods, but there were even more that I definitely hadn’t sent them yet.

I decided to get the most popular items from that list for them that time around. The first one I picked was a whiskey that used a peat made primarily of seaweed and moss in its production. That peat smoke gave it a very distinctive odor that people compared to disinfectant or some of the more pungent stomach medicines available. It didn’t sound appealing to me in the slightest, but apparently its fans swore by the stuff and it was actually really popular.

Next up was a Scotch so popular in America, it was apparently what people’s minds would immediately jump to when they heard the term. It was the most popular whisky in the country, and was supposedly delicious when made into highballs. I threw in a whisky that was actually from Scotland as well—the brand with the highest sales in the country, in fact. It had won gold medals in all sorts of international competitions, and was best drunk either straight or on the rocks, according to its description.

The next whiskey on the list was one with an aftertaste reminiscent of chocolate and cookies. It was a little on the expensive side and came in a fancy box, which apparently made it a popular gift. Last up was a whiskey with a very distinctive bottle featuring a logo that depicted three monkeys in a row. It was a blend of three top-class single malt whiskeys, making it a triple malt whiskey, and apparently went down easily enough that even people who weren’t usually whiskey fans could enjoy it.

I decided to buy a few other bottles while Liquor Shop Tanaka’s menu was open as well. I’d be making my offering to Demiurge soon, so I figured I might as well pick out stuff for him too while I was at it. That, of course, meant that I’d be buying sake. I went for a set of three famous sakes from Kyushu this time. Thinking about Kyushu made my mind jump to sweet potato shochu, so I got a couple bottles of that to throw in with them.

One of the shochus was made with black rice malt and apparently had a really strong umami quality to its flavor. Its aftertaste was refreshing and it was a very common brand, which had earned it quite a devoted following among sweet potato shochu lovers. The other one was a brand named after a horse that features in Romance of the Three Kingdoms. Its description claimed that it had a deep, complex, and full-bodied flavor.

Last up for Demiurge was the usual set of premium canned snack foods. I figured he could slowly sip at the shochu while he picked away at the canned snacks, which sounded...pretty darn nice, actually. This was no time to be tempting myself with luxuries, though—the cardboard box containing all the offerings had already arrived. All I had left to do was pass them off to the gods later that evening.

Tomorrow I’ll stop by the Adventurer’s guild to finalize the sale of those magic items, then set off for the dungeon in the next country over. Ugggh... Wish I could take it easy for at least a little while longer...

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

Later that night, I got ready to send the offerings I’d purchased to the gods.

“All right, first up’s Ninrir’s batch,” I muttered to myself. I brought her cardboard box out from my Item Box and placed it on a table. Barely an instant passed before it was engulfed in light and vanished. I know you’re excited, but come on, wasn’t that a little too fast?

＜Caaaaaake! Finally! Finally!＞ Her voice was accompanied by the unmistakable sound of a cardboard box being torn open. I heard one of the other goddesses sigh—Kisharle, most likely.

＜Really, Ninrir? Didn’t you learn anything from what happened last time?＞

＜’Course she didn’t,＞ chimed in Agni. ＜She wouldn’t be stuffing her face if she had. Maybe if she did, she’d manage to last a whole month without running out.＞

＜What a dummy,＞ added Ruka.

＜It’s in one ear and out the other with that girl!＞ shouted Hephaestos.

Even Vahagn jumped on the bandwagon, chiming in with a ＜You said it!＞

Ninrir...

＜Oh, in one ear and out the other, is it?＞ said Kisharle. ＜Don’t you think the same could be said of you two?＞

＜Yeah, she’s got a point. You guys never shut up about being outta whiskey.＞

Ruka punctuated the goddesses’ comeback with a sigh. They had the whiskey-lovers’ number, and I heard the two of them gulp.

＜Y-Yeah, sure, we might run out of whiskey toward the end of the month every once in a while, but at least we’re not as bad as her!＞ stammered Hephaestos.

＜R-Right? We’re not even close to her level!＞ agreed Vahagn. They didn’t do a very good job of denying the fact that they were cut from the same cloth as Ninrir on a basic level, though. ＜A-Anyway, we’re wasting time! Hurry up with the next one, Mukohda!＞

And, he changed the topic. Whatever, I guess—next offering, coming right up.

“I’ll send Kisharle’s over next.” I set a box that was packed full of cosmetics onto the table.

＜Hee hee hee, I’ve waited so long for this! Thank you kindly!＞

“Oh, right—I remembered that you were talking about your skin looking a little dull lately, so I threw in a mud mask for you to try this time.”

＜A ‘mud mask’?＞

“Yeah. When your skin gets dull like that, it’s because of gunk that builds up in your pores. Apparently this mask is made using a sort of mud that’s really good at cleaning all that out. You just plaster it all over your face—except your eyes, I mean—then wash it off again after about fifteen minutes. Oh, right, almost forgot—I’ve heard that doing it in the bath’s the most convenient way to make use of it.”

＜Oh, is it now? I was just about to take a bath, conveniently enough. I’ll try it out right away.＞ I heard her open up the box, presumably to check out its contents on the spot like Ninrir did. I’d never sent her a mud mask before, and from the sound of things, she’d taken a real interest in it.

“Next up’s Agni,” I said as I put a box stuffed to the brim with beer on the table.

＜Took you long enough! Woohoo, beer! Thanks again—I’m gonna head home and crack one open right away!＞ I heard footsteps fade off into the distance. Agni must’ve also split the second she had her offering in hand. The gods were as exasperatingly free-spirited as ever.

＜Me next.＞

“Yup, here’s yours, Ruka.” She got a box full of cake and ice cream, with a couple hot pots in spare earthenware bowls I’d bought off my Online Supermarket stacked on top. They already had their lids on, so all she had to do was bring them to a boil and they’d be ready to eat.

＜Ice cream, cake, and hot pots that I’ll eat tomorrow. Thanks.＞ The significantly quieter tapping of Ruka’s footsteps let me know that she’d sped off on her way as well.

＜We’re next!＞

＜Whiskey, whiskey!＞ The boozehounds were cheering boisterously. Seriously, just how much do they like this stuff?

“I decided to theme your offering around Scotch whisky, this time.”

＜Did you put the usual stuff in too?＞

“Yup, there’s a bottle of the world’s best whisky in there for both of you.”

＜All right!＞

＜Knew I could count on you!＞

“Okay, all yours.”

＜You have our gratitude, Mukohda!＞

＜Yeah, thanks!＞

＜It’s time, War God! Tonight, we drink till dawn!＞

＜You know it, Blacksmithing God!＞ They stomped off, their boisterous laughter fading away into the distance. Phew! Finally finished.

＜Hey, I have one last quick question!＞ Huh? Kisharle? Guess she didn’t leave after all. ＜Can you wait for just a moment? It’ll be really quick, I promise!＞

“I guess. What d’you wanna ask?”

＜Oh, I was just a little curious about your level! Now, I’m not trying to rush you or anything of the sort, but I thought that you juuust might be getting close to your next Tenant! And you know, all the other gods have Tenants that were practically made for them, but here I am, left out of the picture...＞

Oh, right. I’d almost forgotten that I might get a new Tenant soon. For that matter, it’d been a pretty long time since I’d checked my status at all. Kisharle had a point too—none of the Tenants I’d chosen so far were the sort of stores she’d be interested in at all.

“I haven’t checked my level in a while, but I also haven’t really been fighting lately, so I doubt it’s gone up much... Anyway, Status Open.”

【Name】 Mukohda (Tsuyoshi Mukouda)

【Age】 27

【Race】 Kind of Human

【Job】 Victim from Another World, Adventurer, Cook

【Level】 78

【HP】 467

【MP】 460

【Attack】 449

【Defense】 441

【Agility】 365

【Skills】 Appraisal, Item Box, Fire magic, Earth magic, Perfect Defense, Double Experience Gain, Familiars (Contracted Magic Beasts): Fenrir, Huge Slime, Pixie Dragon

【Unique Skill】 Online Supermarket

《Tenants》 Fumiya, Liquor Shop Tanaka

【Blessings】 Blessing of the Goddess of Wind, Ninrir (small); Blessing of the Goddess of Fire, Agni (small); Blessing of the Goddess of Earth, Kisharle (small); Blessing of the God of All Creation, Demiurge (small)

I was pretty sure I’d been level 77 the last time I checked, which meant I’d gone up by one level. I relayed that fact to Kisharle.

＜I see. I believe you were planning on going to a dungeon soon, correct?＞

“It’s not my plan, that’s for sure, but yeah.”

＜Whoever’s plan it may be, your next Tenant is due to unlock at level 80. I think it’s quite likely you’ll reach that point, don’t you?＞

“Yeah, dungeons are good for power leveling, no question. You’re probably right, odds are good I’ll get there.”

＜So if, just hypothetically, a drug store is available as one of the options, I’ll be counting on you!＞ Makes sense that she’d be this persistent. Feels like she practically lives off beauty products, after all.

I wasn’t exactly opposed to the idea. Having a drug store available could be useful for all sorts of things, so if one did end up being available to me I wouldn’t mind going with it at all. It’d probably have a lot more bath powders and stuff than my Online Supermarket, and I was very much a bathing aficionado. Dora-chan and Sui were too, so I figured they’d be just as happy about it as I would.

“I’ll do what I can, but I can’t promise it’ll be an option.”

＜Oh, of course, I understand! We’ll just have to pray that there’s a drug store in your list this time around!＞

Hah, even goddesses pray? That’s a new one.

＜Like I said, I’ll be counting on you!＞

“Got it.” My third tenant... Wonder what sort of options I’ll get?

“Everyone’s gone, right? That means it’s time for Demiurge’s portion...”

＜Ho ho ho! You rang?＞

“Whoa!” Pretty fast on the draw today, huh, Demiurge? “Umm, I’ve got the usual sake and snacks for you, if you’d like! I also got a sort of shochu that’s made out of sweet potatoes for you to try.”

＜Oh, a potato liquor? That sounds quite intriguing! Thank you, as always, for both these gifts and those you gave to the others.＞

“It’s fine, really! You’ve all given me your blessings, so this is the least I can do.”

＜If you say so. I’ve heard you intend to visit a dungeon soon?＞

“Yeah, that’s right.”

＜Then I recommend you keep your eyes peeled around the twentieth floor! Who knows, you might just stumble across something interesting. Ho, ho, ho!＞

The twentieth floor, huh? “Something interesting”? Demiurge hasn’t let me down yet, so I’ll keep it in mind, I guess.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The next morning dawned, and the time finally came for us to set out for the dungeon in the neighboring country. We said our goodbyes and left my house behind, stopping by the Adventurer’s guild on our way out of town to pick up the payment for the magic items I sold off.

According to the appraiser, their designs were all really outdated, so it didn’t end up being an especially large payday. I couldn’t really say that was much of a surprise—the bandit king had hidden them all away in that cave a hundred years ago, so of course they’d be old. Not a big deal, in any case.

After hitting up the guild, we headed straight for the town’s main gate. Fel and the others wouldn’t have it any other way—they were just that excited about the dungeon, and they weren’t hesitant to let me know.

《Finally, a dungeon that could pose a real challenge! I can hardly wait to begin!》

《Same! Who knows what sorta monsters we might find in there? This is gonna be great!》

《Sui’s excited for the dungeon too!》

“C’mon, guys, you’re getting way ahead of yourselves! I looked into the dungeon city we’re heading for, and it’s gonna be a really long trip. It’s even farther from here than Rosendahl was—that’s the place with the meat dungeon, if you forgot.”

《Hmph, distance means nothing to me! I shall bring us there in no time.》

“Huh? You’ll—nope, nope, hold your horses! You know you’re carrying me on your back like usual, right?”

《Hmm. I suppose I am. I shall take that into consideration.》

“H-Hey, ‘into consideration’? What’s that supposed to—”

《Sui, you are in your usual position, correct?》

《Yeah, Sui is!》

《And Dora will have little difficulty keeping up with my pace.》

《Damn straight!》

《Good. Then we shall set forth at once!》 I clung to Fel’s back as he shot forward, picking up speed at a terrifying pace.

“Wha?! Hey, Fel?! What happened to taking me into consideration?!”

《I have taken you into consideration, and concluded that this pace will suffice.》

“You’re not considering me at all, dammit! Aaaaaauuuggghhhhhh!”