Chapter 7: The Hirschfeld Orphanage

The next day I made use of the info I’d obtained from Isaac. I told my familiars that I wouldn’t be going out of town at all that day, but they decided to tag along anyway, presumably out of sheer boredom.

Sui, as usual, slept in my bag for most of the time we were out. I had to wonder why it didn’t just stay at home if it was going to spend the whole day unconscious anyway, but on the other hand, I would be a bit worried about leaving it alone in the house. In any case, it was pretty much business as usual for the four of us.

《So? Where are we going? Will we be finding food stalls to eat at, like usual?》 inquired Fel.

《Ooh, I like the sound of that!》 Dora-chan chimed in. 《Those stalls always go light on seasoning their meat, but with a couple shakes of our own seasonings, they end up real tasty!》

Nope, sorry, not happening today. I wasn’t planning on stopping for food at all. I also felt like getting Dora-chan used to putting my seasonings on food we bought from other people was a mistake—the last thing I needed was him picking up even more rude habits.

“Nah, we’re heading for this town’s orphanage.”

《The orphanage?》

《Why’re we going to a place like that?》

“Just an idea I had...”

When I had first arrived in this world, I’d been super anxious about my financial future, but ever since I met Fel and the others, I’d been totally economically stable. ‘Stable’ would actually be selling it short—thanks to my familiars’ random acts of chaos and violence, I’d actually been accumulating money. Those three carnivores kept bringing in carcass after carcass for me to cook for them, and all the bits that weren’t edible always ended up getting sold off for an incredible sum of money.

To be completely honest, I had so much money built up that not even I knew exactly how sizable my savings were. I certainly couldn’t put anything close to a precise figure on it. And yet even though I had all that money, I didn’t have anything good to do with it. Buying anything that caught my interest and ordering stuff off my Online Supermarket was the best I could manage, and no matter how luxurious my tastes grew, expenses like those didn’t even make a dent in my ridiculous pile of cash.

I mean, sure, I bought that magic stove and my house in Karelina, plus all the slaves who were keeping it maintained (though for what it’s worth I sincerely thought of them as my employees rather than my possessions), but even if those were expensive, they were one-time purchases. I couldn’t exactly keep buying house after house.

Long story short: my income exceeded my living expenses by such an outrageous margin, my savings were piling up way past the point of reason.

“So, I’m really grateful that I haven’t had to worry about money thanks to you guys, but I actually have too much of the stuff right now.”

《Hmm? You really have that much?》

“Yeah. I stopped counting somewhere around when I hit a hundred thousand gold coins. I don’t even know how much I have at this point, to be honest.”

《Guess we have hunted down an awful lot of stuff, when you put it that way,》 mused Dora-chan, crossing his tiny little arms.

“You really have. I mean, take the dragons—those things made me a crazy amount of money.” Both the earth dragon and the red dragon had produced so many valuable materials, the Adventurer’s guild couldn’t even come close to buying them all. Most of that stuff was still sitting in my Item Box.

And when I really thought about it, it wasn’t just the dragon bits. I had a whole bunch of other materials I’d more or less forgotten about stashed in there, not to mention a few whole monsters I hadn’t even attempted to sell yet. Trying to deal with those felt like it’d be kicking a hornet’s nest, though, so I decided to keep ignoring them for the moment.

“Anyway, the point is that we keep making money and don’t really ever spend it.”

《That may be the case, but we have little need for your human money. The food stalls are the only place I have ever had a use for it.》

《Right?》

“Yeah, I know, I’ve seen how you guys act in town. But you get where I’m coming from about how it’s been building up, right?”

《Perhaps, but what do you expect us to do about it? If you mean to ask us to stop hunting, that will not be possible. However much you wish for us to restrain ourselves, should another dragon come calling, we shall slay it without hesitation.》

《Yeah, I’m not about to stop hunting either! It’s an instinct thing, y’know?》

“I know, and that’s not what I’m getting at. You guys all eat a ton, so it saves me a lot of trouble when you hunt down your own meat. Plus, not gonna lie, the meat that you three find for me’s worlds better than the stuff I could get at most butcher’s shops.”

《Indeed! Such is the way of things.》

“Really wish you’d cool it with the dragons, though.”

《Hmph! I shall agree to not proactively seek them out, though should one cross our path, I will not hesitate to hunt it down.》

《Yeah, same! How could we not hunt a dragon when it flies right in front of us like the red one did? Of course we’re gonna hunt those!》

“Please, don’t. But, look, we’re getting off-topic. The point is that I’ve been thinking of a practical use for all this money that’s been piling up.”

《A practical use?》 echoed Fel and Dora-chan in unison.

“Yeah, in a giving-back-to-society kinda way.”

I’d been thinking about that sort of thing ever since I’d gotten back from Rosendahl, the city with the meat dungeon. The donation I’d made to the orphanage there was the trigger, even though it was technically an unnecessarily large payment for a bunch of bread rather than a classic, no-strings-attached donation. The orphanage itself had been shockingly run-down and their staff were barely keeping the place open, and yet from what I understood those kids were actually better off than the majority of orphans in this world.

The more I learned about their situation, the more I realized how hard orphans had it. Adults have to take the good with the bad, no matter what, but in my opinion people should at least get to be happy and carefree when they’re kids. I knew that some people would probably call me a hypocrite for it, but I figured that since I had all that money at my disposal, using it for the orphans would beat the hell out of not using it at all.

In the end, that train of thought naturally led me to the conclusion that I could just keep making donations. I’d been planning on talking with my familiars about all that stuff for a while, but then the woodland tyrant python quest had happened, we had gotten busy, and I’d ended up with even more money to deal with.

“Long story short, I was thinking of donating some of it to the local orphanage,” I explained. “Though I guess since we’re on the way there now, I sorta already started the process unilaterally? My bad. What do you think, Fel? Dora-chan?”

《In this regard, you may do as you will. So long as my meals remain delicious, I shall not object.》

《Same over here. I’m in it for the grub, and going around to human towns means getting to go to dungeons too! This is the life! As long as you keep the food coming, the rest is all up to you.》

“Got it, thanks.” Fel and Dora-chan gave me the go-ahead without hesitation, which just left Sui. It was still a child, but since it had been going out and hunting monsters with the other two, it was still responsible for providing me with my livelihood. It would’ve felt wrong not to run my plan by it too. I shook it awake and explained the situation in as simple terms as I could manage.

“So, what do you think?”

《Umm, Sui doesn’t really understand, but if Sui can eat Master’s cooking, Sui doesn’t mind! Ooh, and Sui wants to fight more and pew pew bad guys! That’s so much fun!》 Well, that was off-topic. I guess this subject might be a little too mature for Sui?

《Sui would not take issue with your plan,》 chimed in Fel. 《Like us, it has no need or want for your human money.》

《Right? Even I’d be shocked if I saw a slime bouncing around town to go shopping.》 I think that’d surprise anyone, Dora-chan.

“In that case, it’s settled—I’ll be making that donation! Though I have to check the place out myself first, of course. If whoever’s in charge is some sort of greedy, selfish sleazeball, they’d probably just embezzle it anyway. Oh, and I was also thinking of donating to all the goddesses’ temples while I’m at it.”

《A sound idea. Ninrir will be delighted.》

“I mean, I’ll be donating to all the others too.”

《Let us be off! The day is wasting!》

“Hey, wait, Fel, wrong way! We’re going to the orphanage first! Fel!”

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

I surreptitiously studied the orphanage Isaac told me about from the shadow of a nearby building. Even at that distance, I could hear children shouting happily inside. I was already a little relieved—they certainly didn’t sound like they were terribly impoverished and underfed. That said, the building itself was unsurprisingly not in great shape. It looked just as old and run-down as Rosendahl’s orphanage had been.

“Guess I might as well ask around about the place...” I muttered to myself. The one problem: everyone I approached took one look behind me at Fel and Dora-chan, turned around, and fled without pausing for a second to hear me out.

I tried making “Those two are my familiars, it’s fine, don’t worry about them” my opening line, which helped a little, but even if they stuck around, they were still too freaked out to actually tell me anything of substance. I clearly wasn’t getting anywhere, so as a last-ditch effort I tried smoothing things over with a silver coin. That certainly got people talking in an awful hurry. They told me all sorts of things—even things I hadn’t actually asked about—and I finally learned everything I wanted to. It all worked out in the end thanks to the power of bribery.

As for the actual information I got from all those passersby, first up was the fact that the orphanage was ostensibly under the management of the Temple of the Goddess of Water. It was actually managed by a grizzled old ex-adventurer, though, who happened to be a layman of the temple and did the majority of the actual work taking care of the kids.

One old man couldn’t possibly handle all those kids and the challenges they brought with them on his own, though, so the church sent over a few of its apprentice nuns every day to help him out. Thanks to them, the orphanage had been running relatively smoothly under his leadership.

From the way the townsfolk described him, he had that classic ex-adventurer aura of intimidation that told you he’d knock your skull clear across the room if you tried any funny business in his establishment. On the other hand, they also claimed that he was kind and attentive to the kids under his watch, who all looked up to him as a sort of father figure.

All that sounded nice, but there was still the question of the place’s finances, and as I’d suspected given how it looked from the outside, they were apparently running on a shoestring budget. In theory they were funded by both the lord of the region and the church, plus any direct donations they happened to receive. In practice, all three of those sources combined amounted to little more than a drop in the bucket compared to their total expenses.

From the lord’s perspective, an orphanage would never be an especially high priority. Whether or not the place was doing well, it wouldn’t be earning them anything, so they certainly wouldn’t be generous with their financial support. The church, meanwhile, was running on charity itself and couldn’t possibly have much to spare.

Donations, meanwhile, only came every once in a blue moon. Keeping a financial safety net for yourself was a foreign concept in this world, and most people lived hand to mouth, so of course they wouldn’t have money to spare. I’d heard from the director of Rosendahl’s orphanage that orphanages all across the land were struggling, and seeing the worn-down building before me made it easy to appreciate the truth of his words. Looking at it made a feeling I couldn’t quite put into words well up inside me.

How has that building not been condemned? That roof has to be leaky—is the place really livable? The info I’d obtained certainly suggested that it was a worthy cause to donate to, but I wouldn’t be comfortable committing until I’d seen how things were on the inside for myself. It was time to take a closer look. Doing that would more or less obligate me to make a donation in some form or another, of course, but if I came to the conclusion that they wouldn’t use the money well, I could always just toss them a few gold coins and leave it at that.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“Excuse me?” I called, cracking open the gate that led into the orphanage’s grounds. A moment later, somebody arrived to greet me.

“Who’re you, gramps?” said a rabbit-eared girl. She looked like she was around five years old. I’d been treated like an old man plenty of times since I’d arrived in this world, but it hadn’t stopped grating on my nerves.

“Umm, I’m not actually that old and I’m definitely not anybody’s grandfather, so do you think you could just call me ‘big brother’ or ‘sir’ or something? Also, would you mind calling the director over for me?”

“Okaaay.” She dashed off, and returned a few moments later holding the hand of an incredibly rugged-looking man.

“This old guy said to go get you!” said the rabbit-eared girl, who had apparently already forgotten my other request.

“Oh, did he...?” said the man who I assumed was the director, looking me up and down. “All right, then—c’mon in.”

I took him up on his invitation and walked through the gate. My familiars followed behind me, and no sooner had we entered the grounds than a cluster of children gathered up around us. Unlike the adults outside, the kids were absolutely fearless when it came to Fel and Dora-chan. Actually, they looked downright excited.

《H-Hey, wait a—》 said Fel, but it was too late.

“It’s a huge wolf and a dragon!” shouted one of the kids. The rest of them squealed with glee.

《Wait, me too?!》 shouted Dora-chan. Their interest in Fel was a given, considering he was a massive furball in their eyes, but I guess Dora-chan hadn’t expected to draw an equal measure of their interest. It didn’t surprise me, though—you don’t see tiny dragons every day, so of course the kids would be curious about him. My familiars were quickly surrounded by a crowd of kiddies, all intent on manhandling them as much as possible.

“Do not pull on that! Stop!” shouted Fel out loud.

《Hey, hands off, pal! No touching!》 screeched Dora-chan, though considering he did it through telepathy, I don’t know what he thought he was going to achieve. Then again, considering how little effect Fel’s scolding seemed to have, it might not’ve made a difference regardless.

“That thing’s a Fenrir, huh?” commented the director.

“Yeah, technically,” I replied. He’d thrown away his dignity as a legendary creature in front of me so many times that I was prone to forgetting he was supposed to be one in the first place.

I was impressed that the director figured it out that quickly, by the way. My understanding was that only fairly high-ranking adventurers would have the knowledge and experience to identify Fel’s species. He must’ve seen through my surprise and chuckled.

“I used to be an A-rank adventurer, if that answers any questions,” he explained. “I’d heard rumors about the guy who made a Fenrir his familiar, but I never figured they were true till I saw it in person.” Yeah, totally reasonable. Can’t argue with that. “What’s the other one? A baby dragon?”

“No, it’s actually a rare species called a pixie dragon. He’s fully grown, believe it or not.”

“Oh? You’ve got a full stock of rare familiars, eh? You must be quite the tamer.”

“Thanks. Oh, right—I also have a sort of special slime in my party,” I said, picking Sui up out of my bag to show the director, who burst out laughing at the sight of it.

“A slime?! You have a slime as a familiar?! You’re a one-of-a-kind tamer, that’s for sure!” Common sense in this world says that slimes are the smallest of small fries, after all.

“Whoa, a wolf and a dragon?! Coool!” shouted a boy who suddenly jumped out from the orphanage’s main building. He looked like he was about ten years old or so, and grinned ear to ear as he rushed out to get a closer look—only for the director to grab him by the back of his shirt’s collar as he ran past us.

“Not so fast, Cornet! Did you finish your chores already?”

“Geh, leggo of me, geezer!”

“Don’t you ‘geezer’ me, kid! I’ve told you a thousand times to call me director, or don’t talk to me at all! So, how ’bout those chores?”

“I, umm...”

“Not finished yet, eh?”

“I’m not...”

“Then you have to take care of those before you go out and play. Got it?”

“Aww, but I wanna go play with everyone! I wanna pet the wolf and the dragon too!”

“I’m not saying you can’t play with everyone, I’m saying you can do it after you finish your chores.”

“But—”

“No buts! And if you go out to play before you’re finished, you’ll be skipping dinner tonight.”

“Who cares?! I bet we’re having the same watery potato soup and stale bread we always do anyway!”

“Oh? Well, if you don’t want dinner, guess that’s one less meal we have to worry about preparing tonight.”

“I want it, I want it! All right, fine! I’ll do my stupid chores, okay?!” Cornet turned around and stomped back into the building.

“I swear, how’d I end up with so many cheeky brats who won’t listen to a word I say?” sighed the director. He had a point—I could already tell that a lot of his kids were on the naughty side of the spectrum. I sorta felt for the guy. “Anyway, what’s a stand-out tamer like you doing in a place like this? You need something?”

“Umm, well, I was actually thinking of making a small donation...”

Suddenly, the man was all smiles. He threw his arm around my shoulders. “You’re a good man, and you’ve come to the right place! As I’m sure you can tell, we’re poor as dirt here, and we take donations year round! Come on, let’s head inside and talk business!”

Okay, guy, your smile went from ‘welcoming’ to ‘terrifyingly overbearing’ in a split second! And what’s with the arm around my shoulders? Are you making sure I don’t run away?! In spite of my doubts, I could only let myself get dragged into the building.

《H-Hey! Do you mean to leave us behind?!》

“Y-Yeah, sorry, I have to talk with the director! You guys can play with the kids until I get back.”

《We can what?! Absolutely not! I cannot bear to entertain all these whelps at once—》 “Hey, you! Stop pulling my fur! Stop that!”

《Fel’s right, these brats’re demons! They’re gonna tear my wings off! Get ’em off me!》 The kids were brimming with energy, and Fel and Dora-chan were clearly going to have their hands full while I was away.

“You two’re a rare treat for these kids! Just put up with it for a little, you’ll survive.”

《Nooo!》 Fel and Dora-chan shouted telepathically in perfect unison. Fight hard, you two. See you on the other side.

《Hey, Master? Sui’s gonna go to sleep,》 Sui said as it oozed its way back into my bag.

“Looks like the kids’ll be occupied with their new playmates, so we can have a nice, long chat,” said the director with a smirk. Gah! This old dude would take any excuse to keep me here... Is this really the sort of person you want in charge of an orphanage?

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“That’s more or less the state of things,” concluded the director. He’d just finished giving me a rundown on his orphanage’s financial situation, and as expected, it was rough. They were just barely scraping by.

Their official policy was to send their kids out into the world at the age of fourteen to make their own way and learn to live independently, but on the whole there were still more kids entering the orphanage in the average year than there were kids aging out of it. There would always be kids who’d lost their parents, or parents who could no longer afford to take care of their kids for whatever reason and were forced to give them up. The societal factors driving the problem weren’t going anywhere any time soon.

That was part of why the orphanage had a policy of giving the kids jobs starting around the age of eleven or twelve. The kids who aspired to become merchants, chefs, or artisans would start by helping out around the orphanage or the church, or even try their hand at going into business on their own early.

Those who wanted to become adventurers, meanwhile, were given a thorough course on the fundamentals of adventuring by their formerly A-ranked director. They’d also venture outside on occasion to collect medicinal herbs and do other low-risk odd jobs.

The outside world was dangerous, of course, so they were under strict instructions to stay within easy running distance of the town and were flat-out banned from going anywhere near the forest. The local Adventurer’s guild had agreed to buy whatever they collected (at severely marked-down prices) even though they weren’t technically adventurers yet, so they could even earn a little money in the process.

In any case, regardless of which career path the kids decided to prepare for, half of their earnings were claimed by the orphanage to cover its operating costs while the remaining half were set aside, to be returned to the children when they came of age and set out on their own.

The nuns who came by to help also instructed the children on basic literacy and math at the director’s request, which had apparently been a massive boon for them when they went out to make their fortunes. I’d never really thought about it before, but the director taught me that it was considered standard for people who worked in religious organizations to be relatively educated, so teaching the kids was within their capabilities.

“I’ll have you know my kids tend to make pretty big names for themselves when they get out into the world,” he bragged. Some of them had even shown so much promise, they left the facility to take on apprenticeships before they turned fourteen. “’Course, that reputation might be causing me problems in its own way. Sometimes I wonder if parents are leaving their kids here because they know I’ll raise ’em right. We get more and more kids with each passing year, and just keeping all of them fed’s taking everything I have.”

He grumbled about how as the population of kids increased, their budget was almost entirely taken up by food expenses. Satisfying the appetites of a whole orphanage’s worth of growing adolescents inevitably meant prioritizing quantity over quality, so the best he could scrape together that could feed all of them tended to consist of potatoes and tooth-breakingly hard bread. That sort of unsatisfying fare had become the children’s everyday sustenance.

“Not much I can do about that, though. Filling their bellies comes first, even if it’s not exactly pleasant. The kids may not like it, but we can’t expect better unless something major changes.”

I thought back to Cornet. He’d complained about the orphanage’s soup being watery and the bread being stale, and from the sound of things he hadn’t been exaggerating. Eating nothing but miserable food like that day in and day out must’ve been soul-crushing.

That’s when it hit me: I had plenty of ingredients from the meat dungeon left over, so why not take the opportunity to treat them to something more palatable? I wasn’t in a position to make anything really luxurious, but I could at least do better than watery soup and stale bread. I actually still had a ton of the bread I’d bought from Rosendahl’s orphanage, which had to be better than the stuff they’d been eating here.

It didn’t feel right for kids to be living such a bland and joyless lifestyle when it came to food, so I thought that letting them have a decent meal would be a nice thing to do. I asked the director what he thought, and he replied with an enthusiastic “Are you serious?! The kids’ll be ecstatic! Yes, absolutely, please do!” so that settled it.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The director led me to the orphanage’s kitchen. I could tell at a glance that it wasn’t designed for ease of use, unfortunately, and the best it had for actual cooking was a wood-burning stove.

“Guess I can’t expect better from a building this old,” I said to myself. “Time to do things my way!”

I brought out my ever-faithful magic stove and opened up my Online Supermarket, like usual. I told the director that I’d be fine on my own and sent him on his way, so there was no need to worry about him seeing something I’d rather keep secret.

“What to make, what to make? I’m feeding kids here, so it’s gotta be nutritious. I’ll need a bunch of it too, so I should pick something I can make a lot of all at once.” It’s always important to keep your guests’ needs in mind when you cook, and I spent a moment thinking about how I could satisfy both of those factors together. Finally, it hit me. “Oh, I know—pork and beans might be just the thing!”

Pork and beans: a staple of United States home cooking that I’d seen in more movies than I could remember. It came up so often that I got really curious about how it tasted, and after a little research I decided to try making it myself. Long story short, it’s a type of tomato stew. It has a ton of beans in it (as you’d probably expect, given the name), and a bunch of vegetables as well. It’s packed with nutrients as a result, and seemed like the perfect dish to make for a bunch of kids.

I was sold: I’d be making pork and beans! “Time to put together a grocery list...” I mumbled, paging through my Online Supermarket’s menu. I started by buying pre-cooked chickpeas. This world’s version of them, ‘chipeas,’ were very commonly used in cooking and I didn’t want to bother boiling dried ones, so they seemed like a solid choice. A soybean equivalent called ‘zoybeans’ were also pretty readily available, so this time I decided to add some of those as well. The recipe also calls for onions, carrots, potatoes, garlic, and a can of whole tomatoes.

“That does it for ingredients—let’s get cooking!”

I pulled a slab of dungeon pork out of my Item Box. Step one is to chop it into smallish chunks—about a centimeter and a half on each side—and season each piece with salt and pepper. Then you dice up your onions, carrots, and potatoes into slightly smaller chunks and mince the garlic. Briefly boil the chickpeas and soybeans, then drain them thoroughly. That’s all the recipe takes for prep work.

Next up: actually cooking the dish! Start by heating some olive oil in a pot and stir-frying the garlic in it just long enough for it to become noticeably fragrant. Then you add in the cubed dungeon pork and keep stir-frying until it’s browned on all sides. Next, you add in the onion, carrots, and potatoes, and stir-fry once again until the onions are starting to get just a little translucent.

Once the veggies have reached that partially-cooked stage, you dump in the can of tomatoes followed by a bouillon cube for some extra flavor. Add in the beans once the mixture comes to a simmer, and then you just have to keep it there until the veggies are soft and cooked through. You can season again with salt and pepper at the very end, if you think the dish needs some fine-tuning, and then it’s done!

All that was left was to give it a try. I took a bite and carefully considered the flavor. “Nice—this dish really brings out the natural sweetness of the vegetables! I’m sure the kids will appreciate it. The beans were a good idea too. They’re full of nutrients, and they’ll fill you up really well!”

《Masteeer, Sui wants to try it too!》 Sui had woken up at some point along the way. Its voice rang out hopefully in my mind.

“All right, I guess, but I made this for the kids who live here, so just a little! I’ll make a proper helping for you and the others when we get back to the house.”

《Okay!》

I set a slightly smaller serving of pork and beans than I’d usually spare down in front of Sui, who dug right into it.

“How is it?”

《It might be better with more meat, but it’s tasty! Sui loves all the beans!》

“The beans, huh? That’s good to hear!” I’d actually gone heavier on the meat than I usually would, but I also went heavy on the beans and veggies since I was trying to keep nutrition in mind. Sui gave it a solid endorsement in any case, so I figured I’d done a decent enough job.

I went over to the director’s office to let him know that I was done cooking, and he gathered up the kids right away. We all moved over to a spacious (but obviously very old) dining hall. The director and I stood off to the side and watched as the kids filed in. They could hardly contain their excitement.

“All right,” said the director, “We’ve got something special for you kids today! This young man here’s fixed up a real feast for you, so you’d better say thank you!”

“Thank you!” the kids roared in unison as they crowded around the serving table. They made sure to form a proper line, though, presumably because of a certain strict old man who was watching over them. It was sorta cute, and made me reminisce for a moment about the school lunches I had back when I was a kid.

Two young, fresh-faced nuns were put in charge of setting the table. They were probably in their mid to late teens, by my best guess, and I was told that helping out at mealtimes was part of the usual duties of the nuns who came to help out. I hadn’t seen the two of them around until that point, and when I asked about them, the director explained that they’d been busy teaching a lesson to the orphanage’s aspiring merchants.

Somewhere along the way, Fel and Dora-chan plodded their way into the dining hall as well, both looking absolutely exhausted. Fel was definitely a little bit too big for the door, but somehow managed to squeeze his way through without damaging its frame.

《That could hardly have been any worse...》

《You said it...》

Both of them flopped down onto the ground the second they had the opportunity.

《I need food, and I need it now!》 Fel demanded. 《I shall not wait another moment!》

《Same over here, thanks,》 droned Dora-chan.

《Umm, sorry,》 I replied telepathically, 《but I made this for the kids, and I didn’t make enough of it to serve you guys too.》

Fel and Dora-chan shot upright. 《You what?!》

《Need I remind you that we only tolerated those noxious runtlings at your request?!》

I sent back, 《Yeah, but I don’t think you’d like this stuff, anyway. It’s full of veggies, for your information.》

《Grr—vegetables, you say...?》

《I want meat, come on...》

《I know, I know. I promise I’ll make another batch for you two and Sui when we get back, okay? I’ll give you a little, so just be patient for now.》

《You will make meat when we get back, and I shall not tolerate another second of this outrage should you say otherwise.》

《Hell yeah! Meat or bust!》

《I get it, okay?》 Dealing with the kids must’ve really tired those two out. What kind of legendary beast throws a toddler-tier tantrum over a single meal? I grumbled internally as I set a smallish serving of pork and beans out for each of them.

《Hmm. It tastes decent enough, I suppose, but it does indeed lack the meat I crave.》

《Yeah, you gotta have meat when you’re worn out. Nothing else does the job.》 Ha ha ha—those two really are meat-powered, huh?

《Sui wants some too...》

《Oh, sorry—you already had some earlier, and that was the last of it. I’ll make more when we get home, though! Can you hold out until then?》

《Yeah, Sui can wait! Sui’ll be patient, so make something with lots and lots of meat, okay?》

《Ha ha ha, okay, okay.》 Let me alter that statement—Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui’s internal engines all run on meat. Meanwhile, the table had been set and the kids were finally getting a taste of their helpings of pork and beans.

“Oh wow, there’s so many vegetables in this!” one of them shouted. “It’s not just potatoes!”

“There’s meat in it!”

“This is so good!”

The children’s happy shouts filled the dining hall. It was really nice to see them all so enthusiastic about digging into the food that I’d made. That went for the two apprentice nuns, as well—they were enjoying their meals just as much as the kids were, and were adorable in a different sort of way.

“Might wanna leer in a different direction, pal,” said the director, who was glaring daggers at me from the next seat over. “Don’t even think about it—hands off.”

“Wh-What? Of course I wouldn’t, I’d never!” I wasn’t looking at them like that! It was a relaxing, stress-relieving eye candy thing, not a creepy one! I’d never even consider making a move on them! I mean, they were somewhere around high school aged, and by the ethical standards of my world a guy my age hitting on them would be completely out of line.

“Just keep it in mind,” said the director.

“A-Anyway, aren’t you going to eat?” I asked, changing the subject.

“I’ll eat last.”

“I’d be careful about that—wait too long, and it’ll all be gone!” I’d made two whole stockpots’ worth of pork and beans, but the kids’ appetites had outdone even my fairly high expectations. Most of them had already gone back for seconds.

“If there’s none left for me, there’s none left for me. Look how much they’re enjoying it—that’s all I could ask for,” he said with a gentle, nurturing smile. He might’ve had the face of a seasoned veteran, but he really was a plain old nice guy in the end.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The children finished their lunch and left the cafeteria, though not before waving to me and saying “Thanks, old man!” or “The food was delicious, gramps!” or something along those lines. Every last one of them acted like I was a senior citizen, which kinda stung, but what can you do?

I took a glance in the pots after they were all gone, and as expected, they’d been completely emptied. There wasn’t so much as a single bean left in either of them, which meant the director wouldn’t be getting a portion after all. I collected my pots, then went over to let him know, but he was unperturbed. “Means the kids ate their fill, so it’s better this way,” according to him.

I wasn’t convinced, though. I knew for a fact he’d been eating the same lackluster meals of potato soup and stale bread as the kids. I decided to take the matter into my own hands, pulled out the final dish of pork and beans I’d stashed in my Item Box for myself, and presented it to him.

“You sure? Isn’t that yours?”

“I’m gonna have to make another meal after I get home regardless, so it’s fine. They’d never be satisfied by a single serving,” I replied as I glanced over my shoulder at my familiars. The director nodded, immediately convinced. I pulled out a few of the bread rolls I’d bought from the Rosendahl orphanage for him too, and he practically inhaled them with a vigor unbefitting his age.

“Oh, this is good stuff! No wonder the brats were squabbling for seconds.”

“Thanks, I’m glad you like it. I just threw together a bunch of stuff I happened to have on hand, though, so it wasn’t really anything special.”

“A meal with meat, vegetables and even beans in it is about as luxurious as we could ever imagine here. I can count the number of times we eat meat in the average year on one hand.”

“In a whole year...?” Ugh—and here I am, eating the stuff every day. Practically every meal, even! The sympathy I felt for the kids was slowly starting to morph into a sort of guilt. I had more than enough meat dungeon spoils to last me for ages, so I decided to share some of it with them.

“Umm, I actually made a trip to the meat dungeon recently. Would you like some of the meat that dropped there?”

“What?! Are you serious?!” He leaned in way, waaay too close for comfort. Whoa there, simmer down, old man. Mind your blood pressure!

“Okay, please, calm down! Finish your food, and then we can talk.”

“R-Right, sure.” He went back to his meal, once again shoveling it down faster than I’d ever seen from someone his age. “Okay, finished! Now then, you were saying...?”

“That was fast! Here, pass me your dish.”

“Forget the dishes! Let’s get to the point!”

“Okay, I get it—the meat, right? I’ve got dungeon pork and beef on hand, and you’re free to take some of both of them.”

“That’s a helluva favor you’re offering, and I’m not about to turn it down!”

“How much do you want? Too much and it’ll spoil, so be careful.” There was no way an impoverished orphanage would have a magical refrigerator like the one I had gotten my hands on recently. Maybe one of the kids had an Item Box they could keep it in, though?

“Yeah, most people would have to watch out for that,” the director replied, “but no worries—I’ve got a trick up my sleeve.”

“Huh? Why, does one of the kids have an Item Box?” Was I actually right?

“Hah, as if! A kid with an Item Box wouldn’t be here for a day before some relative took ’em in. They never even end up in orphanages in the first place, really.”

Oh, okay, yeah. That makes sense. I had heard about how having an Item Box meant you’d never have to worry about finding stable employment. “Okay, so then what is this trick of yours?”

“You’ll see—follow me for a sec.”

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The director led me back to his office. “Wait out here for just a bit,” he said before disappearing inside. A few minutes later I heard him call out, “Okay, c’mon in!” and I accepted the invitation.

Fel and Dora-chan were trailing along after me, by the way. Sui and Dora-chan weren’t an issue, considering the former was napping in my bag and the latter was tiny, but Fel’s presence made the room feel a lot more cramped than it otherwise would. Fel seemed to be feeling a little claustrophobic himself, and curled up into as small of a ball as he could manage.

《Hey, Fel, Dora-chan? It’s a pretty tight fit in here—think you guys could wait outside?》 I asked hopefully, but of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

《Absolutely not!》

《Same, no way, not happening!》

《Oh, come on! You guys can’t be comfortable like this, can you?》

《It may be cramped in here, but it is a thousand times better than the alternative. I refuse to give those imps so much as a second more of my time.》

《You said it! Those pint-sized demons would be on us again in seconds if we went out there, I just know it!》 They were both grimacing.

《Okay, I get it. Guess we’ll just have to put up with it, then. You can wait here till I’m done.》 Fel and Dora-chan both agreed and made themselves comfortable behind me. As far as they were concerned, it was no longer their problem.

“Sorry they’re so, y’know, big,” I said to the director.

“Hah, looks like the kids really took a toll on ’em! Guess not even a Fenrir can keep up with their energy. Can’t say I’m surprised.”

“Ha ha, yeah, looks like it. You do seem to be keeping them happy and healthy.”

“It’s the least I can do—not to mention all I can do. But anyway, enough chitchat. This is the trick I was telling you about.” He showed me a slightly worn-out cloth bag, the likes of which I’d seen many times before.

“A bag...? I’m guessing it’s a magic bag, right?”

“Sure is. Had a hunch you’d know one when you saw it. I don’t take you for the loose-lipped type, but just for the record, I don’t want it getting out that I have this thing. That’s also why I couldn’t let you see where I keep it.”

Oooh. That would explain why he had me wait outside, I guess. I already had magic bags of my own, so I didn’t think of them as that big of a deal, but they were valuable enough to net you a small fortune if you sold one. I could appreciate where his caution was coming from.

According to the director, he’d found his bag in a dungeon during his adventuring years. Its storage capacity was somewhere around the middle of the usual spectrum, and time inside the bag passed at about one tenth the speed it did outside.

“I’m sure you can imagine how handy the thing was when I was an adventurer, and I’m still getting plenty of use out of it even now,” he said, giving his bag a gentle pat.

Potatoes and hard brown bread were more or less the orphanage’s staple foods. He could save money by buying them in bulk, but even though their shelf lives were remarkably long, they would still spoil eventually. That’s where the magic bag came into play. By buying massive amounts of food at wholesale prices and preserving them in his bag, he’d been able to just barely scrape by in spite of his budget shortcomings.

“In short, I’ll take as much meat as you can spare. The bag’s only half full right now, so there’s plenty of room.”

Can’t argue with that. I started unloading chunk after chunk of dungeon pork and beef from my Item Box.

“H-Hey, whoa,” he quickly shouted, “That’s enough! Stop!”

“Huh? But this is barely any!”

“‘Barely any’?! That’s a mountain! My bag might only be half full, but it’s not that big! Just how many of the damn things did you hunt...?” Ask the shameless gluttons behind me—they hunted whole floors to extinction. Ha, ha, ha...

“I still have way more than enough left over, though. Are you totally sure you don’t want more?”

“Very sure. This is plenty.”

Well, if you say so. In the end, I gave him about ten chunks of both dungeon beef and dungeon pork, each weighing in at around twenty kilograms or so. It was barely a drop in the bucket of my overall stock. Fel, Dora-chan, and Sui had gone so far overboard hunting down those things, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be rid of it all.

“You don’t have to hold back for politeness’ sake, just so you know!”

“I’m not being polite, I’m being sane. My magic bag might burst if I try to jam any more of that stuff in.”

“Speaking of which, I’ve been curious this whole time—how did an adventurer good enough to have his own magic bag end up becoming an orphanage director?”

I’d obtained my magic bags thanks to my familiars, but I was an exception. It wouldn’t have been nearly as easy for him. It takes a skilled adventure to get a hold of one, whether by saving up enough money to buy it or finding it on your own. He’d told me that he’d been A-ranked, but I hadn’t really appreciated what that meant about his expertise until he brought the bag out.

“Well, y’know,” he mumbled hesitantly. It suddenly struck me that I’d been so caught up in the conversation, I’d asked something really personal without even thinking about it. Probably overstepped a little there. Whoops.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry. Forget about it.”

“Nah, it’s not a big deal. It’s all in the past—by a full thirty years, even.”

According to the director, it was a story you hear all too often in that line of work. It happened just a little while after he turned thirty. He’d gotten married young—a rarity for adventurers—and had a ten-year-old son. Unfortunately, adventuring is the sort of job that keeps you away from home a majority of the time. He was too busy to be with his family.

He’d been at the job for a good long while and had built up plenty of experience, finally rising to rank A. He wasn’t satisfied with stopping there, though. He still had work coming in from all sides—more than ever, even—and at the rate things were going, making it to rank S was totally plausible. He and his party members threw themselves into adventure after adventure, day after day.

“That’s when it all went wrong. I took on a quest that’d keep me away from home for three months...and while I was gone, my son passed away. A plague hit the town, and it took him before we knew it...”

His wife blamed him for their son’s death, and he believed that he deserved it. “I can’t tell you how many times I asked the same questions she did. Why wasn’t I there for him? Wasn’t there something I could’ve done...? Maybe if I’d been there, I could’ve scraped up the money to take him to the church and have them heal him with their magic. Maybe if I’d been there, I could’ve pulled some strings to get a high-grade potion for him. Maybe if I’d been there, he wouldn’t have had to die.”

But what-ifs wouldn’t change what had happened. His son was dead, and his relationship with his wife was irreparably damaged. It hadn’t been long before they had divorced and parted ways. His old adventuring party was more than willing to keep working with him, but he just couldn’t bring himself to return to his old way of life. Lost and heartbroken, he spent his days drowning his sorrow for the son he’d lost in booze—until, that is, the Church of the Goddess of Water came into his life to soothe his pain.

“I’d never been much of a believer in the Goddess, up until then. The temple was nearby, and I just happened to stumble into it one day. Total coincidence. But the priest I met there was a good man. He just listened to me—didn’t blame me, didn’t try to comfort me. Just listened.”

That was the chance the director needed to get back on his feet. He started attending services at the temple regularly, and it wasn’t long before he became a fervent believer. The director of the orphanage associated with the church happened to retire shortly thereafter, and he immediately stepped up to volunteer for the position.

“My son was gone, but there were still plenty of other kids out there who were living through hard times. I wanted to do something for them. It was my way of trying to make up for my failings, I guess, though I wouldn’t blame you if you thought it was just doing it to feel good about myself.”

His story blew me away. Whether it was for the sake of atonement, or to make himself happy, or whatever, the fact that he’d felt so strongly about helping the children who needed it struck me as honestly incredible. It made me wonder: if I’d been put in that same situation, would I have done the same thing?

In any case, I felt an intense urge to help him keep it up. The kids too—I wanted to do something for them. I withdrew two sacks full of gold coins from my Item Box.

“Here’s the donation I mentioned. I want you to use it for the orphanage.”

“What in the—how much...?”

“I’m an S-ranked adventurer. My income’s nothing to sneeze at, so don’t worry about me. I can afford it.”

“Heh... Can you, now? In that case, I’ll gratefully accept.”

“You should do something about this building, first of all. The place is falling apart. I’m sure the roof leaks like hell, right?”

“Ha ha ha, you know it! Not proud to admit it, but the rain comes through like the roof isn’t even there!”

“Anyway, I should probably be heading home now. Good luck keeping things together here.”

“Thanks... And just so you know, I won’t be forgetting this any time soon. I owe you one, Mukohda.” He saw me off with a deep bow.

Actually, wait a minute—did he know my name that whole time?

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The director was a good man with a noble spirit. It was obvious that the kids were his top priority, both while they lived at the orphanage and after they went out into the world, so I figured it’d be fine to leave the rest to him. Hopefully he’d start by fixing up that ruin of a building—the kids needed a more sanitary environment to live in.

That was the most that I could do for them, but I hoped it would be enough to improve their lifestyles. I wanted them to live long, fulfilling, self-sufficient lives—not that I had any right to talk about the last part, considering how habitually reliant I was on my familiars.

《Are we returning home? I require meat the moment we get back.》

《Sounds great to me! I’m gonna stuff myself sick and spend the rest of the day sleeping it off!》 Fel was walking beside me, and Dora-chan was riding in my usual place on the Fenrir’s back.

I shook my head. 《Sorry, guys, but we can’t head home yet. I still have to drop off my donations at the goddesses’ temples, remember?》

《Mnh, yes, you did mention that. Indeed, we must not neglect Ninrir’s offering.》

《Oh, come on, we’re seriously not done yet?! I wanna go home and eat meat!》

《Not this time, Dora. Ninrir has granted me her blessing, and must be repaid in kind. Let us be off!》 Fel abruptly picked up the pace.

《Okay, okay, fine! Let’s hurry up, get this over with, then eat meat till we burst!》 Dora-chan took off and flew alongside Fel.

《Hey, wait! What do you mean, ‘let us be off’?! You don’t even know where Ninrir’s temple is, do you?! Dora-chan, tell Fel to—oh, not you too! Ninrir’s isn’t even the only temple we’re visiting, for crying out loud!》 I dashed after my impatient companions.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

At Fel’s insistence we visited Ninrir, the Goddess of Wind’s temple first.

“I think this is the right building...”

《Whoa, seriously? I mean, c’mon, the place is a dump!》 I mean, it’s true, but that’s not the sort of thing you’re supposed to say out loud, Dora-chan! Take a hint!

《A-Are you absolutely certain this is the right temple?》 asked Fel, bewildered and more than a little put off. The building before us was small for a church, made entirely out of wood, and had most certainly seen better days.

“Pretty positive, yeah...” I hesitantly replied. Isaac’s information had been on the money so far, and he’d pointed me to this precise building. I still couldn’t quite accept that it was really a temple, though, and ended up wandering awkwardly around its perimeter until a woman who looked just a little younger than me stepped outside. She was dressed in a white habit, so I assumed she was a nun.

“Umm, may I help you?” she said as she walked up to me.

“Ah, umm, I don’t suppose this is the Goddess of Wind’s temple?”

“The Goddess of Wind?! Are you a believer?!” Her attitude shifted wildly, and her gaze was suddenly full of hope.

“N-No, I wouldn’t really say so, sorry,” I replied. She sighed, openly disappointed, so I quickly continued. “Umm, I’m not a believer or anything, but I was thinking of making a small donation.”

No sooner had the words left my mouth than the nun grabbed onto both of my hands. “You are?! Really?! Thank you so much! May the Goddess of Wind grant you her blessings! Please, come inside!”

Sorry, miss, but I actually already have the Goddess of Wind’s blessing. Also, could you let go of my hands, please? She was really squeezing them—I guessed she didn’t want to give me the chance to leave before I followed through. Then she noticed Fel and Dora-chan standing behind me and shrieked.

“Ah, the huge wolf and the tiny dragon are my familiars!” I quickly clarified.

“O-Oh, are they? W-Well then, come inside!” Her smile stiffened up, twitching slightly as she led us through the front door. She didn’t let go of my hand for so much as a moment, though. Girl had guts.

Meanwhile, I did an excellent job ignoring Fel’s 《I am no wolf!》 and Dora-chan’s 《Don’t call me tiny!》 Pipe down for a minute, would you?

The nun led us into a modestly-sized hall of worship. Enshrined in its very center was a wooden statue that I could only assume was meant to depict Ninrir. The statue had the kindly, benevolent expression one would expect from a goddess, but I couldn’t exactly describe it as having any sort of divine beauty. Ninrir always insisted that she was beautiful, but, well... I mean, I didn’t have any reason to believe that was actually what she looked like, so I couldn’t make any real judgment on the matter.

“Ahem! Well then, allow me to explain to you the current state of our faith,” said the nun. “You may already be aware, but in comparison to the Goddesses of Fire, Earth, and Water, the Goddess of Wind has considerably fewer followers. But, I’ll have you know that we make up for what we lack in numbers with sheer fervor! We express our zeal and dedication to each and every visitor who crosses our door, and...”

Her passionate sermon dragged on and on. She didn’t have to bother giving me the whole sales pitch, though. Isaac had already told me about each of the temples operating in Hirschfeld, so I’d heard most of what she had to say before.

The Kingdom of Erman, the Kingdom of Leonhardt, and the Kingdom of Marveil were all known for allowing freedom of religion among their populaces. People weren’t limited to a single target of worship either—some chose to worship the Goddesses of Fire and Earth at once, for instance, while others chose to worship the Goddesses of Water and Wind. Nobody was under any obligation to practice a religion, so leaving a church was just as easy as joining one. From what I understood, those three countries were the only ones around to offer that degree of freedom.

It was easy to imagine what would become of a priest or nun who ran wild and exploited their followers in that liberated of a religious atmosphere. That said, there’ll always be idiots around, no matter where you go. Every once in a while someone would get it into their head to try and profit off their religion under the table, and without fail they’d be ostracized by their town and abandoned by their followers en masse. That was why the training for priests and nuns in those countries was known for being especially strict and rigorous.

That strictness extended to the way the temples presented themselves, even in the grandest of cathedrals situated in the capitals of the three nations. The buildings themselves were elaborately designed, certainly, and their high priests and priestesses wore clothing befitting their positions, but a conscious effort was always made to avoid displays of excessive opulence.

Thanks to all those efforts, incidents of abuse and illegal activity connected to religious institutions were all but unheard of in this day and age. The Holy Kingdom of Rubanov with its theologically-founded policy of human supremacy was a major exception, of course.

All the information I’d gleaned up until that point, plus Isaac’s explanation, painted a pretty clear picture of the state of the local religions. His position had given him cause to meet with all of the local temples’ authority figures at one point or another, and according to him none of them seemed problematic in any particular way.

“Umm, excuse me?” said the nun. Whoops, sorry. Wasn’t listening at all. I didn’t really feel obligated to—I’d already decided how much money I’d be donating, and also that I’d be donating the same amount to every temple.

I had a feeling there’d be hell to pay if I decided to prioritize one temple over the others. Who knew what the goddesses would say? I’d be giving thirty gold coins to each church, and that was that, so I wanted to just hand over the cash and head for the next temple as soon as possible. Fel and Dora-chan were getting impatient, after all.

So that’s exactly what I did! I passed the nun a hefty sack containing thirty gold coins, and she smiled brightly as she accepted it. “Thank you! Really, thank you so much! May the Goddess of Wind grant you her blessings!” she called out behind me as I made my exit.

I happened to glance over my shoulder a moment later, only to see her peek into the bag, literally jump for joy and shout “Yes! I can finally repair the temple! My dreams are finally coming true!” which was sorta nice to see.

I went on to visit the temples of the Goddesses of Earth, Water, and Fire, donating the same amount to each of them. All of them welcomed my act of charity with open arms and the utmost civility, which put me in a pretty good mood by the end of my excursion.

Incidentally, the temple of the Goddess of Earth—that is, Kisharle’s temple—had the greatest number of worshipers present at the time I stopped by. The Goddess of Water, Ruka, was a close second, followed by the Goddess of Fire, Agni. Kisharle’s really stood out—not only did she have the most followers, the actual temple itself was also noticeably fancier than the rest. Ninrir should really stop thinking about sweets and start thinking about her followers one of these days.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

“The time has come! Bring out the meat!”

《Hell yeah! Meat, meat, meat!》

“I know, I know, settle down!” The instant we got home, Fel and Dora-chan started kicking up a huge fuss. Meat this, meat that, they just wouldn’t give it a rest.

《Are we eating meat? Sui wants some too!》 Sui sprung out of my bag. Fel and Dora-chan’s tantrum must’ve woken it up.

“You left us to suffer with those horrible little monsters! You owe us this!”

《You said it! I’m telling you, those kids were demons! I could feel them draining the life outta me, I swear!》

“Okay, okay! You want tons of meat, you’ll get it! I don’t have time to make anything super complicated, though, so I’ll be keeping it simple.”

“Simple how? What will you make?”

“Hmm... How ’bout a stir-fry? That way we could have a nice balance of meat and veggies.”

Fel scowled, bared his teeth, and growled, “You will make meat.” Okay, jeez, you don’t have to get that mad about it!

“Okay, then how about ginger-fried orc? Or maybe ginger-fried dungeon meat?” I used a store-bought sauce for that recipe, so it was easy enough to whip up in a hurry.

“Ginger-fried meat? Very well.” Fel was already starting to drool. He must’ve been thinking back to the last time we had the dish. Gross, dude.

《Oh, yeah, that stuff’s pretty tasty. Sounds good to me!》

《Sui likes it too!》 That brief exchange was all it took to put Dora-chan and Sui in the mood for ginger-fried meat.

“Okay, guess that’s settled. Meat-wise, hmm...how about dungeon pork? I still have a ton of the stuff in stock, and I’ve got some fresh-cooked rice too. We can have ginger-fried pork bowls.” They were going on and on about how they only wanted meat, but ginger-fried dishes are really strong, flavor-wise. You need something to eat them with, and rice is the best option in my book.

“Very well, but do not think to slip any vegetables into the dish. I expect to see nothing but meat atop my bowl of rice.”

“Not even any cabbage? You sure? Means you won’t get that nice crunch!”

“I am quite sure. Meat. Only. And lots of it.”

《Same over here, thanks. I wanna really stuff myself with meat today.》

《Sui wants looots of meat too!》

Fine, fine. Sheesh, you three never change. I whipped up some ginger-fried pork bowls using store-bought sauce, piling my familiars’ bowls high with meat and not bothering with the customary bed of shredded cabbage between the meat and the rice.

“More meat!”

“More? Are you serious? I’ve already piled up a mountain of the stuff!”

“That is not enough. More!” At Fel’s urging, I piled his bowl even higher.

“That has to be enough, right?”

“More!” I kept building up the meat stack.

“Is this enough for you? I hope so, because it’s not getting any bigger than that. It’d fall over.” In the end, I’d constructed a towering pillar of ginger-fried pork.

“Yes, this will suffice.” Fel finally looked satisfied by his meat tower. It went without saying that Dora-chan and Sui demanded their own as well.

《Now that’s a meal I can sink my teeth into!》

《It looks so yummy!》

The trio set about bringing down their ginger-fried pork mountains. I thought it’d take them some time to work through it all, and could only chuckle when my expectations were betrayed and they polished them off in the blink of an eye. They weren’t really satisfied until several bowls later, each piled just as tall as the first ones were.

Fel and Dora-chan were drained after playing with the orphanage’s kids, and fell asleep right after finishing their meals. It was rare for Dora-chan to turn down an opportunity for a bath, which really drove in how exhausted he was. Sui and I weren’t nearly that tired, though, and took our time soaking in the tub. When we returned to our room, we were greeted by Fel and Dora-chan’s incredibly loud snores.

“Heh, can’t believe those two can sleep through their own racket.”

《They sound so funny!》

“Right?”

Sui and I snickered for a moment as we watched the two of them snore away, then retired to bed as well.

◇ ◇ ◇ ◇ ◇

The next morning I ate breakfast, then stopped by the Merchant’s guild to drop off the key to the house I’d rented. After that, I headed straight for the Adventurer’s guild with my familiars in tow.

《Once we have concluded our business in this town, we shall head straight for the dungeon,》 declared Fel. He and the others were in high spirits as we made our way through the city streets.

I entered the Adventurer’s guild and stepped up to the counter, where a staff member immediately led me over to Isaac. I found him in the Guildmaster’s office, his nose buried in a stack of paperwork.

“Ah, welcome back, Mukohda! Do excuse me—I’ll be with you in just a moment!” He redoubled his pace, scribbling intensely onto a piece of parchment.

“Oh, it’s fine, I can wait! Don’t mind me.” And wait I did, sipping a cup of tea that the receptionist from before prepared for me.

Not too long after that, Isaac looked up from his work once again. “All right, sorry for the wait! Now then—hmnh!” he grunted as he heaved four hefty sacks onto his desk. “Your reward for slaying the woodland tyrant python was 230 gold coins, with the materials you wished to sell adding on another 180. That brings your total payment to 410 gold coins.”

He then stood up and walked over to what looked like some sort of massive rug that was leaning against the wall. He dragged it over and laid it down next to me. I’d noticed it the moment I walked into the room, and had a feeling I was looking at the python’s skin.

“This is one third of the skin, as you requested.” Yup, knew it. How the hell did just a third of the thing end up being this big and heavy? I might’ve miscalculated this—maybe I should’ve asked for a fifth of the skin, or even a sixth.

It was way bigger than I’d been counting on, but since it was a gift for Lambert, I figured that wouldn’t be an enormous problem. If it looked like I was making him uncomfortable when I handed it over, I could always ask him to make me a couple bags or whatever out of it in exchange. Or maybe I could have him make some handy little trinkets for everyone back at home? I could work all that out with Lambert when the time came. For the moment, I stored the bags full of cash and the woodland tyrant python’s skin in my magic bag.

“I’ll be off, then,” I said, my business already concluded.

“Yes, I suppose you have to,” replied Isaac. “It’s such a shame, though—you know you’re welcome in this town for as long as you’d like to stay, right?”

Considering how gung ho my familiars were about the dungeon? Yeah, that wasn’t happening. Not to mention that I had a feeling I’d have all sorts of unpleasant jobs shoved onto me if I hung out in this town for too long. I forced a smile and explained that I really had to be leaving right away. Isaac followed me downstairs as I left—according to him, seeing me off was the least he could do.

“Well, thanks for everything,” I said with a wave.

“The pleasure was all mine, I assure you! You saved my skin by taking on that emergency quest, and I can’t thank you enough. Do stop by Hirschfeld again some time! Maybe if we get lucky, the guild won’t have shipped me off to another town yet! Ha ha ha...” His pain was absolutely palpable.

Oh, right, almost forgot! Maybe this’ll pick up his spirits a little. I surreptitiously retrieved a bottle of Divine Medicine: Hair Growth Power from my item box.

“Here—I wanted to give you something as thanks for all your help,” I said as I presented the bottle to him, along with a bottle of shampoo that was meant to stimulate hair growth. Considering the state of the poor man’s head, he’d need all the help he could get.

“What are these?”

“Umm, I guess you could say it’s medicine for your hair? You start by using this shampoo to wash your hair, rinse it all out carefully, and then rub a little bit of this tonic all over your scalp. Like, really massage it in there.”

Isaac’s eyes widened as he accepted the bottles. “C-Could this be the hair tonic that’s thrown Leonhardt’s nobility into an uproar...?”

Oh, he’s heard of it? “I’m surprised the rumors have already spread all the way to Erman, but yeah. I just so happen to be acquainted with the merchant who’s been selling the stuff, and he gave me a few samples a while back.”

“M-Mukohdaaaaaa! You are truly, truly the fastest friend a man could ever ask for!” Then he broke down in a fit of sobbing, howling tears as he embraced me.

“O-Oh jeez, you’re seriously crying?! Also, let go! Get off me, please!”

“Mukohdaaaaaa!”

“Okay, but seriously, I’d really like some personal space! Isaac?!” I was not enjoying the experience of getting hugged by a balding old man in the slightest. “F-Fel, help me out here!”

《Help yourself,》 grunted Fel as he turned his back to me. Are you seriously still holding a grudge about the kids yesterday?!

“D-Dora-chan!” I tried to appeal to the tiny dragon next, but his back was already turned to me as well. Not you too! M-Maybe Sui can get me out of this? My hopes were immediately dashed. Sui was in my bag, out like a light.

I tried as hard as I possibly could to pry him off me, but for a balding geezer, Isaac was astonishingly strong. I couldn’t budge the guy.

“Thank you! Thank youuu!” he wailed.

“Y-Yeah, okay, you’re welcome, just get off me!”

Regrettably, this was all transpiring in the early morning at an Adventurer’s guild. Needless to say, the place was absolutely full of adventurers, almost all of whom were watching our exchange with great interest. I definitely heard one of them mutter something about the guildmaster having a lovers’ quarrel, to top it all off. No, he’s not! Balding old men are not my type! Absolutely not!

“It’s not what you thiiiiiink!”

.........

......

...

“Ugh, that was the worst!” I somehow managed to explain away the horrific misunderstanding that I’d almost fallen victim to, then fled Hirschfeld as quickly as I could possibly manage.

《Ha ha ha ha! And now, we are even!》

《Yeah! Serves him right for not helping us yesterday!》

Grrr...

《Now then, let us make for the dungeon at once!》

“Dammit, I really don’t wanna agree with you two, but I agree with you two! Let’s get as far from this town as possible!”

And so we set off once more for the dungeon city of Brixt.