Bonus Short Stories

Mukohda’s Cooking Class 5

We were in a small village we stopped by during our travels to rest. The village was in this country’s huge breadbasket region, and was a tranquil one surrounded by sprawling fields of wheat. Travelers like us apparently didn’t come regularly, so there was only one small inn in the village. There was no way we could rent a huge mansion like we usually do in such a small village, so all of us had no choice but to stay in said little inn.

Since Dora-chan and Sui were small, all I had to do was pay a small fee and they were allowed to stay with me, but there was nothing to be done about Fel and his huge body. And of course there’d be no animal shed or something similar for Fel to stay in here, so Fel had no other choice but to spend the night in the inn’s backyard. Fel moaned and complained, saying, “Why me?” But I somehow managed to calm him down since it would only be 1 night, and we stayed at the inn.

As for why we came so far to visit this place, it was because we’d heard during our travels that this village was known for its short pasta. Though this village was in the breadbasket region, rather than bread, which was the main staple of this country, I was hearing a lot about their pasta. That got my attention, so we decided to stop by. I had my uses for wheat, so I figured it might be nice to get the locally grown variety, too.

I asked the hostess of the inn about it, and the subject turned to ‘how about you try it yourself?’ So although I felt like I was being taken for a ride, I ended up trying their short pasta from the cafeteria. The short pasta was served in soup, and it was scrunched in the middle like a ribbon.

If I remember right, it’s called, uhhh, farfa...... Oh right, farfalle. Farfalle pasta.

Of course, compared to similar pasta I’d seen in Japan, it wasn’t as uniform or pretty, but it had that same characteristic bowtie shape. I remembered because a certain pasta-loving senior wouldn’t shut up about it, so I had the knowledge talked into me.

Naturally, it wasn’t like they only ate pasta here, but according to the hostess, every household in the village made this fairly regularly.

As for the all-important flavor, the short pasta itself is soft and chewy in the right ways. It’s not bad, but the soup is......

The flavor of the soup was far too thin, and it was just a simple salted light vegetable soup, it didn’t fit the pasta at all.

This pasta needs a more strongly flavored sauce to pick up. It’d definitely be more tasty that way.

It seemed the short pasta was made using the local wheat, water, and salt. I was taught how to make it by the hostess’ husband, who was the cook. I planned to use it for dinner immediately.

This inn was owned by a couple who wore two hats: innkeeper and farmer. So when I told them I came to buy wheat, they really pushed their own farm’s produce. I didn’t mind since I planned to buy it anyway, and when I bought five bags, they happily taught me how to make pasta.

And so, I ended up making a huge amount for dinner. I’m looking forward to it.

Fel was a little sulky, but he’ll probably feel better with some delicious pasta. Probably.

◇　◇　◇　◇　◇

Uhhh... what?

I borrowed the backyard to make dinner, but when I was about to get started, the hostess of the inn and her husband were there for some reason.

“Umm... what about your work?”

“It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s not like there are any other customers right now.”

“Exactly. More importantly, bro, you said that there were ways to eat pasta other than soup, right? I’m more interested in that.”

Hey, there’s a limit to how light and breezy you can be about your jobs, hostess and cook.

It looked like the inn’s cafeteria lets in people who weren’t staying at the inn, so they probably just wanted the opportunity to expand their menu.

I can’t just tell them to go away, so I guess there’s nothing I can do about it.

I had thought to make meat sauce (heavy on the meat for the meat-loving trio), but since these two would be watching, I figured I’d have to make it with ingredients from this side.

“Sorry, you three, but dinner will have to be later.”

“What?!! Why?!”

《Whaaaaat? What do you mean!》

《No food?》

“Yeah, sorry. I can’t very well be seen getting food from another world by these people, you know? So I’ll make something using the ingredients I bought and have them leave, and then make your food after. I’ll try to make it as quick as possible,” I said, somehow managing to calm them down with a sorry expression.

“Of course, what we will be eating will be more delicious than what you will be cooking for them, right?”

“Yeah, of course,” I answered.

I’d be using canned meat sauce bought with my skill, so there’s no way it’d be bad. I didn’t know if it’d serve as an apology, but this time I’d be using a more expensive one.

《Put in a lot of meat, too,》 Dora-chan said, and I replied, “Of course.”

《Sui is hungry, but Sui will wait. Master, make lots of food, okay—?》

Sorry, Sui. I’ll make lots of food and fill you up later, okay?

Having gotten all three of them to consent, I left the trio’s portions for later, and started on the dish to show the innkeeper’s first.

I took out my magic stove so it separated me from the innkeepers. When I did, the husband was especially jealous, saying, “You have an Item Box? How enviable...” Apparently the husband was an adventurer in his younger days, and he complained, saying, “If I’d had an Item Box, I probably would have climbed to a higher rank...”

But the hostess replied, “You? Who stopped at E-rank for five years before returning to your hometown, this village? Stop spouting nonsense.”

While listening to them sound like a married couple comedy act, I started lining up ingredients taken from my Item Box.

“So, what are you going to make?” The two of them seemed really interested.

“It’s going to be a sauce to coat the pasta with. Well, just watch.”

I started the cooking class immediately.

~◇~◇~◇~

First, cut some vegetables bought in this world (which I had stored in my Item Box). I’m using oneons (onions), carrotes (carrots), and (garlic), which was just garlic.

After mincing these, take a tomato (also just called “tomato” here), and cut it into rough cubes.

Once all the vegetables are cut, next is the meat.

Mince some red boar meat (which should be relatively easy to obtain in a village) with a knife (I used my knife since there was no way I could use my mincer in front of them. Using a knife to mince meat leaves larger chunks of meat, so I think it’s a fine choice for texture, too.)

When that’s done, add some olive oil and the minced garlic into a frying pan and put it on low heat. Once the garlic starts to give off a scent, add in the red boar meat.

Once the meat is cooked to a certain extent, add in the minced onions and carrots and continue to cook.

Then, when everything is properly cooked through, add in the chunks of tomato, and continue to cook while crushing the tomato.

Once the tomatoes start to release their water, add in herb salt, and continue to simmer the whole thing until about half the tomato’s water content has boiled away.

Lastly, add herb salt to the sauce to taste.

~◇~◇~◇~

In truth, I’d like to add in pepper and ketchup to add some extra depth, but I needed to hold back on that for now.

While I was cooking the meat sauce, I’d asked the husband to boil pasta on the next burner, so I just added the meat sauce to the cooked short pasta to finish it up.

It came out to a portion perfect for three people, enough for me, the husband, and the hostess. It turned into a tasting party.

“Hohh~, this is pretty good! It’s tastier than putting it in soup.” The hostess must have loved it, as she said this while eating quickly.

“Yeah. Doing it this way gives it a stronger flavor and pairs with the pasta better. This is great. And it’s easier than I thought it would be to make, so even I can do it.”

It looks like the husband likes it too, and is totally motivated to try making it. So that means it’s basically guaranteed to join the inn’s menu, huh? It’s a little lacking as meat sauce in my opinion, though.

Well, if I think of it as a refreshingly light meat sauce, it’s not bad.

“All right! I can’t stay like this, I need to try making it now before I forget!”

“Do your best, honey!”

“Leave it to me! And, thanks, bro!”

“Yes, thank you. In return, we’ll give you a bag of wheat to take with you!”

“S-Sure...”

The two of them ate like a storm and left like one, too.

What a powerful couple.

Anyway, it was just a simple dish that I taught them, and I got a whole bag of wheat for it so I guess I made a profit.

“Hey. You haven’t forgotten our food, have you?”

Right after my cooking class for the two innkeepers finished, I heard a voice from behind me.

“Yeah, yeah, of course I didn’t forget. Your dinner will be meat sauce with extra meat.”

I turned around with a bitter smile on my face to find the hungry trio waiting for me in a line. After that, it needn’t be said that I was made to cook mountains of meat sauce for them as if it were nothing.

Aveling Dungeon: Fascinating Floor 19

“Okay. We are going to go around this floor one more time.”

Fel, who’d taken quite a liking to the soft-shelled big bite turtle’s meat, cajoled us to go around the 19th-floor again.

That soft-shelled turtle hot pot was ridiculously delicious, after all.

The leftover zousui broth was also packed with umami flavor, and just all-around amazing.

*Drool*

...Oh crap, I started drooling after remembering it.

《There’s one! Hah!!》

Sui unleashed an Acid Bullet and brought down a turtle.

《Yayy! Delicious turtle meat!》

Sui bounced around happily.

《I’m next!》

Dora-chan’s magical lightning strike, which killed the big bite turtle, was way more powerful than a typical stun gun.

《Alright! Turtle meat GET!!》

In his happiness, Dora-chan started flying in loops.

And there was someone here looking at Dora-chan with sparkling eyes, clapping to bring up the mood.

*Clapclapclapclapclap*

“Awesome! Dora-chan! Just as I expected!”

The way you look at Dora-chan is what’s awesome, Elrand......

Dora-chan, as usual, saw Elrand looking at him like that and was making a disgusted face.

“Next is that room.” I peeked inside and saw 5 big bite turtles.

“I will do it,” Fel said, swinging his front paw once.

“Fuhaha! That is quite a bit of meat all at once, no?”

《Aw yeah! Let’s keep hunting more!》

《We’ll get so much delicious turtle meat~!》

In high spirits, the trio continued to hunt big bite turtles one after another.

◇　◇　◇　◇　◇

《Nice, Sui! That’s more turtle meat in the bag~!》 Dora-chan cheered.

Sui used Acid Bullets to clear up all the big bite turtles in the room, dropping a huge amount of meat.

《Yaayy! Meat, meat~, delicious turtle meat~♪!》

“That was fairly well done, Sui. We will be keeping this up.”

All three of them looked mighty pleased to see all of the dropped meat.

But, you know......

“Hey, we’ve already got a lot. Can’t we stop now?”

With this much, I’m sure we can hold a lot of hot pot parties.

“What are you saying? This still is not enough. The more meat the better, always. We will keep hunting.”

《Yeah, exactly! More good meat is always better!》

《We’re going to keep getting more and more delicious turtle meat~!》

“Ahh, fine fine. All right, I get it.”

Elrand was grinning widely, seeing our exchange. “Looks like they really like that big bite turtle meat, doesn’t it? I’ll accompany you as long as you like.”

He couldn’t hear Dora-chan and Sui talking through telepathy, but Fel and I were speaking aloud, so he was probably able to piece together our conversation from that.

“Heheheheheh... that way, I’ll get to spend that much more time with Dora-chan...”

Elrand......You know, it’s not just Dora-chan now, both Fel and Sui are getting a little creeped out.

“Ahem. What dishes is this meat used in other than hot pot?”

“Other than hot pot? I think it might be delicious as karaage......... Oh gross, Fel! You’re drooling!!”

Fel messily salivated while muttering, “That meat as karaage......”

《Turtle meat karaage......》 Dora-chan, who was hovering next to Fel, muttered the same thing while drooling.

“Aw you too, Dora-chan? Oh, and Sui...”

At my feet, Sui was also muttering, 《Karaage~...》 while almost vibrating.

“Okay. Make it now.”

“Wha? Make it? You mean karaage?”

“Indeed. It is about lunchtime. Perfect timing.”

《Ohh~? So today’s lunch will be turtle meat karaage? That’s great!》

Dora-chan got on Fel’s bandwagon and started saying that.

“Nonono, it’s going to be awful trying to make that right now. I have stuff I’ve already made — isn’t that fine?”

“Look, up ahead is the safe zone. Hurry up and make it.”

Fel used his snout to nudge my back towards the safe area.

“Hey wait! Don’t push!”

“It is fine. Do not mind it.”

“Don’t ‘it is fine’ me! What’s fine about it? I TOLD YOU ALREADY — STOP PUSHING!”

Fel kept pushing my back.

《We get to eat turtle meat karaage—?》

“That’s right, Sui. Isn’t that exciting?”

《Yaayyy! We get turtle meat karaage~! Woohooo!》

“W-W-W-W-Wait... You’re just going to say what you like too, Dora-chan?!”

“You can’t do that, Mukohda. Dora-chan said it, so you have to live up to his expectations.”

“No way, no how. What kind of nonsense are you spouting, Elrand?”

“Well, just leave it at that. Dora, Sui, and I are all expecting much of you.”

Aww come on~, now I can’t run! Goddammit.

“*Sigh* Oh, fine. I just have to make it, right?”

*Sigh* My trio of familiars are just way too honest about their appetites.

◇　◇　◇　◇　◇

Having had everyone’s expectations forced onto me, I started making karaage in the safe area. I was making them basically the same way as regular karaage.

~◇~◇~◇~

After putting in the soft-shelled turtle, or big bite turtle, meat into a vinyl bag, add in soy sauce, sake, grated garlic, and grated ginger (I couldn’t be bothered, so I just used some that came in a tube) before kneading it all together.

Let it marinate for around ten minutes, and then take flour and potato starch (I wanted it to be crispier so I used extra potato starch) and mix them together in a bowl. Use that mixture to coat the meat once it’s done marinating, making sure to get rid of any excess coating, before frying in oil.

Once each piece turns a nice light brown, it’s finished.

~◇~◇~◇~

“Hey, is it done yet?”

《It’s done, right?》

《Sui wants to eeeaaattt!》

The three of them couldn’t hold themselves back, and were on standby right next to me.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll put them on a plate, so just wait a second, geez,” I groused bitterly as I plated the food. And as soon as I served it......

“Hot! ...Huff, huff............ Gulp. It is hot, but delicious! This is delicious! Hot!”

《Ach! Yeah, it’s — hot, hot, hot! It’s hot, but delicious! Ouch! Yesterday’s hot pot was also good, but this karaage is perfect! Hot hot hot!》

Fel and Dora-chan, who weren’t good with the heat, couldn’t wait and started eating. It seemed like they liked it, at least.

《Turtle meat karaage is really good! More!》

Sui didn’t care about the heat at all and was scarfing them down so fast it was already finished and asking for more.

“S-Sui, that is unfair, to ask for more already.”

《W-Wait, I want more too.》

For some reason, Dora-chan and Fel started panicking when Sui asked for more.

“I’ll fry enough for all of you, so stop worrying.”

It’s fine, I know just how deep everyone’s appetites are.

“Man~, this is great, isn’t it? That hot pot yesterday was perfect, but this karaage is also irresistibly delicious! This is making me want some ale.”

......Uhhh, Elrand, please stop just eating ones that I’m still draining of oil. I’ll give you some finished ones on a plate, see? I thought, looking pointedly at the elf.

“Oh man, sorry. Really, this is good.”

I was really starting to resent Elrand as I watched him chowing down without a shred of reservation.

As soon as I resolved to start eating myself......

“More!” 《More!》 《More!》

The trio’s hunger flared up and I had to prioritize them.

As soon as I finished making a portion and served it, I resolved to start eating myself, but then another voice asking for more would sound out.

It just continued like that.

“HEY! COME ON! IF YOU KEEP GOING LIKE THIS I WON’T BE ABLE TO EAAAATTT!”

The Gods’ Dungeon Appreciation Meeting

Kisharle: “Hey, Ninrir, stop spilling crumbs everywhere~.”

Ninrir: “*Munch* *Gulp*...... I haven’t spilled anything! I’d never spill anything from a dorayaki!”

Agni: “No, you definitely did. There.”

Ninrir: “Where? Ah!” (Ninrir, having discovered pieces of dorayaki littering her clothes, hurried to pick them up and put them in her mouth.)

Rusalka: “......Filthy.”

Ninrir: “W-What do you mean, ‘filthy’?! It’s not filthy!”

Kisharle: “Now now, stop making a fuss, quiet down. The otherworld boy’s entered the dungeon.”

Ninrir: “Ohh! He’s finally inside! Well, my follower, the Fenrir, is with him, so there’s no need to worry!”

Agni: “Yeah, yeah, you shut up for a bit.”

(The goddesses look on through the water mirror as Mukohda and his party proceed through the dungeon.)

Hephaestos: “Hey, let us see, too.”

Vahagn: “The next Tenant’s on the line here, you know?”

Kisharle: “Hey~! Don’t bring booze in here!”

Hephaestos: “What? Nonsense! Alcohol is necessary for a fun event!”

Vahagn: “Right? We’re gonna watch them beat the dungeon while drinking. We need him to do his best for our liquor store.”

Kisharle: “Hey, wait just a second there~. I can’t let that one go. It’s not decided that the Tenant’s going to be a liquor store! No, it’s going to be a drugstore. Guaranteed!”

Vahagn: “Nope. Liquor store.”

Kisharle: “I said it’s going to be a drugstore!”

Vahagn: “Liquor store!”

Kisharle: “Drugstore!”

Agni: “You two stop with that useless bickering! He said it himself, no one knows what’s coming. Hey, actually, you should be keeping him down, Hephaestos!”

Hephaestos: “Why do I have to do that? I want a liquor store for a Tenant too.”

Agni: “You too......?”

Ninrir: “Hey, all of you be quiet! It’s so loud I can’t hear what they’re saying!”

Kisharle and Agni and Hephaestos and Vahagn: ““““As if you can talk!””””

Ninrir: “Whaaat?!”

Agni: “Hahh...... You’re all way too noisy!”

(Agni put some power into her voice, surprising Kisharle and Agni and Hephaestos and Vahagn.)

Rusalka: “Calm down.”

(Kisharle and Agni and Hephaestos and Vahagn all look guilty, having had to be scolded by the youngest, Rusalka.)

Ninrir: “W-Well, let’s just focus on how well they’ll do.”

Kisharle: “Y-Yeah. you’re right.”

Hephaestos: “Right.”

Vahagn: “S-Sure.”

(The gods all peer into the water mirror.)

Ninrir: “W-What the hell is that?!”

Kisharle: “What do you mean, what? It’s the undead floor. Zombies sure are gross, aren’t they?”

Agni: “Ninrir’s not talking about that. They’re all killing the undead in one hit, right? Physical attacks don’t work on the undead, and for magic, only high-powered fire magic or holy magic works.”

Kisharle: “Now that you mention it......”

Rusalka: “They used something called a Holy Sealer.”

Ninrir: “Holy......”

Kisharle: “Seal-”

Agni: “-Er?”

Vahagn: “Hey, look. The thing we gave him is working wonders. Hahaha!”

Hephaestos: “Oh, it really is. Hm-hm, he’s trying pretty hard himself, isn’t he? Mmhahah!”

Ninrir: “H-HEEEYYY! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!”

Kisharle: “Yeah! From what you said, you gave him that, right?!”

Hephaestos: “Well, yeah. It’s just some help so that he’ll definitely level up enough for a Tenant this time.”

Vahagn: “Right. We just helped him a little.”

Agni: “A little? You guys made that, right? Then it’s a divine vessel! Having something like that floating around down there is way more than a little!”

Rusalka: “......Massive chance of being discovered.”

Hephaestos: “Grk!”

Vahagn: “Ghh!”

Kisharle: “Geez~, what do you think you’re doing?! I understand that you want to make the Tenant a definite thing, but still, this is too much! If you rush ahead and get found out, then it’s all for nothing! Stop doing things on your own whims, you liquor-loving idiots!”

Ninrir: “Yeah! First of all, I was the first one to find them and make contact. So why is it you two got to be the first to give him a divine vessel?! It should have been me! You fools, you don’t understand anything!”

Vahagn: “Hey! Come on — ‘idiots’? ‘Fools’? Those are strong words!”

Hephaestos: “Exactly.”

Kisharle: “I called you idiots because you are idiots!”

Ninrir: “That’s right! And I called you fools because that’s exactly what you are!”

Vahagn: “YOOUU! Wanna go?!”

Ninrir: “Yeah, I do! Grrrrrrrr!!”

Kisharle: “Heheh, we won’t lose against a couple of drunks~. Right, Ninrir?”

Ninrir: “Of course!”

Vahagn: “Hey, Blacksmithing God! Are you just gonna let them mouth off?”

Hephaestos: “Hm, I leave it to you, War God.”

Vahagn: “What?”

Hephaestos: “I’m busy drinking whiskey and watching him.”

Vahagn: “W-W-W-W-W-...... Oh come on, Blacksmithing God~!”

Ninrir: “Let’s go! Hahh!”

(Ninrir connected with a lariat, exhibiting more power than would normally be thought possible from such thin arms.)

Vahagn: “Ghuegh!”

Kisharle: “I’m next. Hah!”

(Kisharle connected with a high kick with her long, whip-like legs.)

Vahagn: “Ghuargh!”

(Vahagn reflexively falls to one knee.)

Kisharle: “I expected you to be tough.”

Vahagn: “That hurts, you guys! You got way too serious! Show some restraint!”

Kisharle: “But, I mean... you know...?”

Ninrir: “You’re so tough anyway, we need to go this far! So now that that’s settled, one more! Take this!”

Vahagn: “Woah!! Stop!”

Ninrir: “Hey, don’t dodge!”

Vahagn: “Of course I’d dodge, stupid!”

Kisharle: “Oh? Then it’s my turn now. Yah!!”

Vahagn: “Wah!! You too?!”

Kisharle: “Ninrir.”

Ninrir: “Yeah. Understood, Kisharle.”

(Ninri and Kisharle attack Vahagn.)

Vahagn: “Why is it that you guys are only this in-sync at times like this, idiots!”

(Unable to stand it, Vahagn escapes, prompting Ninrir and Kisharle to give chase.)

Hephaestos: “Alright! There, there! Go!! Gluglug...... Geez, he’s such a wimp, as always~. Glugluglug... aaahh! Whiskey really is just the best... Gahahahahaha!”

Rusalka: “............It’s so noisy and full of morons. I’m going home and watching by myself.”

(Looking around at her noisy surroundings and frowning, Rusalka walked back to her own place.)

Agni: “Ah-hh~, I’m gonna go home too and take it easy watching with some beer.”

(Agni also returned to her own abode.)

Ninrir and Kisharle: “Don’t run~!”

Vahagn: “As if anyone would stop running when you tell them that!”

Hephaestos: “Kkhhh! Whiskey’s so good~! Gahahahahahah!”

A Certain Undead Group’s Lament

【Zombies and Skeletons】

Zombie A: “Just when I thought some adventurers came for the first time in a while......”

Zombie B: “That’s just... no way, dude. No way......”

Zombie C: “Right~? We were killed in an instant......”

Skeleton A: “You guys too? We were the same.”

Skeleton B: “It all happened in a flash while we still didn’t know what was going on... That’s just wrong.”

Skeleton C: “Even though we’re small fries, I think it’d be nice to be even a little more careful of us.”

(Zombies A, B, C, as well as Skeletons A and B nod in agreement.)

Zombie A: “Still, even though that huge wolf and tiny dragon and slime and elf all were probably strong originally, they were filled with an even worse power, right?”

Skeleton B: “Yeah! There was also some plain looking human there, but surprisingly he was really, seriously strong.”

Zombie C: “A terrible power on top of being strong...... Isn’t that just cheating?”

Skeleton A: “I’m the one that’s been here the longest, and I’ve never seen such terrible power: holy power that was almost godlike, even.”

Zombie B: “There’s no way we could stand up to those guys... having such power in their swords and even housing it in their bodies.”

Skeleton C: “We’d die just from being grazed, after all.”

Skeleton B: “I mean, we were insta-killed by a slime, right?”

Zombie A: “What? You guys too? That slime killed us instantly also.”

Skeleton A: “It was instant, we couldn’t do anything. We’re just left with grudges and sadness.”

Zombie C: “We were the same.”

Zombies A, B, C, and Skeletons A, B, and C: “*Sigh* Really, those guys are just... No way......”

【Ghouls and Wraiths】

Ghoul A: “You know, I thought we were pretty strong, but......”

Ghoul B: “To think we’d be done in by that shabby-looking human......”

Ghoul C: “No, no — that couldn’t be helped, right?”

Ghoul B: “You got killed by that strong-looking elf, right? You wouldn’t understand how we feel.”

Ghoul A: “Yeah! Yeah!”

Ghoul C: “Ah, no, well, that’s true, but... Uhhh, you know? It’s that! That terrible power! Didn’t that shabby human have a spear overflowing with that power? I’m saying there’s no helping it if he attacks you with that.”

Ghoul A: “That’s true...”

Ghoul C: “Right? That power’s way too scary!”

Ghoul B: “That one holding the spear with the scary power was shabby as hell, though.”

Wraith A: “You guys got killed by that shabby human too?”

Ghouls A and B: “Yeah.”

Ghoul C: “I got killed by the elf.”

Wraith A: “Me and......”

Wraith B: “Me......”

Wraith C: “...And me — we got killed by that shabby human......”

Wraith B: “Who would have thought we wraiths would get killed by a physical attack?”

Wraith C: “Now I know what it feels like to get cut to pieces by a spear.”

Wraith A: “Me too.”

Ghoul A: “To cut through you wraiths, who can nullify physical attacks... That spear’s no joke......”

Wraith B: “Getting cut hurts, doesn’t it......”

(Wraiths A and B exchange heartfelt agreement.)

Ghoul C: “Other than the spear, you know that entire party had that awful power in their weapons and even in their own bodies.”

Ghoul B: “At any rate, those guys weren’t opponents we stood a chance against.”

Ghouls A, B, C, as well as wraiths A, B, and C: “I never want to see them again......”

【Mummies and High-Ranking Skeletons】

Mummy A: “The first adventurers in so long... I was so eager......”

Mummy B: “When you put it like that, I was too.”

Mummy A: “But......”

Mummy B: “Before I managed to do anything I got my head cut off by an elf in an instant. Isn’t that just awful?”

Skeleton Warrior: “So you guys got killed by that elven swordsman? For me it was the tiny dragon housing some holy power inside it. If something like that rammed into you you’d just die, right? That’s cheating.”

Skeleton Mage: “Being killed by a dragon is still fine compared to what happened to me. It was a slime, you know?! Even though slimes are like the poster child for being weak, what the hell was up with that slime?! It didn’t even let me cast one of my best spells before covering me in acid...... I’m so pathetic!”

Skeleton Knight: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. By the way, I was killed by the Fenrir’s Wind magic. Just as one would expect out of a Fenrir, said to be a legendary beast. Its Wind magic was seriously sharp.”

Skeleton Mage: “......What? Are you bragging? Are you bragging that you got to face off against a legendary beast?!”

Skeleton Knight: “What? No, not really. Don’t just go interpreting things however you please...... (Whispered: Well, it’s way better than being killed by a slime...).”

Skeleton Mage: “Ahh, so it’s like that, huh? You picking a fight? Huh? I’ll fucking fight you! I take fights other people pick!”

Skeleton Knight: “Sure you wanna go? Isn’t it true that you got killed by a slime?! Don’t take your weakness out on me, you bastard!”

Skeleton Mage: “Kkkhhhiihhh!! Alright, I’m mad now! I’ll tear you to shreds!!”

Skeleton Knight: “Try it, punk!”

Skeleton Warrior: “Hey hey hey hey — stop that!”

(The skeleton warrior, looking annoyed, steps in between the skeleton mage and the skeleton knight, who are about to start a useless fight.)

Mummy A: “In the end, we all got killed, so we’re the same.”

Mummy B: “And all of us got dealt with instantly, too......”

【Liches and Emperor Lich】

Lich A: “200 years...... The first adventurers in 200 years......”

Lich B: “And it was instant......”

Lich C: “I get that they have to be pretty strong adventurers to get this far, but they were just on another level, weren’t they? Hahaha......”

Lich D: “That’s not something to laugh about. Rather than the adventurers, the familiars were way too strong. What the hell were those people? They have a legendary Fenrir as a familiar. It’s unreal.”

Lich E: “It wasn’t just a Fenrir, you know? Pixie dragons may look like that, but they’re strong monsters with powerful magic; and that slime, that’s not a regular slime either, I bet. Then there’s the elf... even though from the way he looks, it wouldn’t be strange if he was retired, he still moved like that. They were just bad opponents for us......”

Lich A: “I was killed by magic from the pixie dragon.”

Lich B: “Me too. A sharp pillar of ice went right through me.”

Lich C: “I got killed by the slime. It was the first time I ever saw a slime that shot acid. Haha.”

Lich D: “Right? I never would have thought I’d be melted by acid.”

Lich E: “I was cut in two by the elf in a flash. It was actually beautiful to see......”

Lich B: “We finally had something to do after 200 years, but it all ended before we could really do anything, huh?”

Liches A, B, C, D, E: “Hahh~...”

(After a deep sigh, liches A, B, C, D, and E hang their heads.)

Emperor Lich: “............For me, It was my first action in 700 years.”

Liches A, B, C, D, E: “My emperor......”

Emperor Lich: “The perfect defense that was my pride and joy, my shield of darkness magic, ‘Dark Magic Shield,’ was broken easily......”

Liches A, B, C, D, E: “............”

Emperor Lich: “You know, I’m an immortal king...... Just leave me alone for a while...... I want to be alone.”

Liches A, B, C, D, E (whispering): “...... This guy, he just shut himself in.”

Aveling’s Dungeon Boss: Hydra (♂)

First head (Nickname: Catalina): “Oh come on! Comeoncomeoncomeon! What was that~?!”

Second head (Nickname: Diana): “It was out of nowhere! Nowhere! How barbaric~!”

Third head (Nickname: Claudia): “Really! And it was over in an instant too, an instant! What the hell?!”

Fourth head (Nickname: Margarita): “We should be on the strong side, at least. What a surprise!”

Fifth head (Nickname: Alicia): “I mean, we were so excited since it was the first time a human came here, but there’s just... no way.”

Sixth head (Nickname: Esmeralda): “Right~? There was no greeting at all, they just killed us instantly! Like, no waaayy!”

Seventh head (Nickname: Christina): “It didn’t look like the human was that tough, but those familiars were too strong, right~?”

Eighth head (Nickname: Svetlana): “Yeah! Exactly! That’s a Fenrir, right? Why is one with a human?!”

Ninth head (Nickname: Beatrice): “It wasn’t just a Fenrir. That tiny dragon and slime were also ridiculously strong!”

Diana: “Ahah! I was done in by that tiny dragon~. Ice magic suddenly went right through me, you know? Right through! So rude!”

Claudia: “Me too, me too~! I died with a pillar of ice right through me~!”

Catalina: “Me too~. All of a sudden there was a pillar of ice coming out of me! Like, no way!”

Beatrice: “I was done in by the slime. All of a sudden it launched acid at me! That’s just not fair~.”

Christina: “Right~? My head was melted into goo before I even knew what was going on~!”

Svetlana: “Actually, that slime itself is ridiculous. I’ve never heard of a slime that shoots acid, right~?”

Everyone else: “Yeah, right!”

Esmeralda: “I was killed when the Fenrir dropped lightning on me~.”

Margarita: “Me too—! I mean, isn’t it awful to drop lightning on someone’s head out of the blue?”

Alicia: “It’s totally awful! I got killed that way too!”

Diana: “So everyone was killed in an instant, huh~? If at least one of us was left, we’d totally have revived though~.”

Svetlana: “Even if you say that, none of us expected to be killed all at once, you know?”

Esmeralda: “Right, right. I never thought we’d all get killed at once~.”

Alicia: “Me too—! All nine of us heads died at once, you know? Normally, that’s totally impossible.”

Claudia: “Isn’t it? Like, I never thought it would happen, but it totally did!”

Catalina: “You know, I thought if it was us, we’d even be able to fight against a hero, one of the strongest beings ever. To think we’d just suddenly die like that...”

Margarita: “Yeah. I never even imagined we’d just die so suddenly like that!”

Christina: “Me too~. Like, who would have thought, right?”

Beatrice: “Yeah, yeah! I totally get it. I never thought it’d happen too! Buut~! Since we’re in a dungeon, even if we die, we come right back~!”

Everyone: “Heheheheheheh...”

Esmeralda: “But you know, even though we died, wasn’t that Fenrir and tiny dragon and slime kinda hot? Strong men really are attractive, aren’t they~? Among them, the Fenrir in particular totally shocked my senses~!”

Alicia: “Shocked? That’s just because the Fenrir hit you with lightning, right? Still, the Fenrir’s my favorite, too~.”

Margarita: “Well I’m the same~! I mean, that Fenrir looks like the strongest one! I totally want him to say to me, ‘I’d definitely protect you’ just once! Kyah!”

Diana: “He can’t just be strong~. You know, that tiny dragon is both cute and strong!”

Catalina: “Yeah yeah! Like isn’t he the best, being both cute and strong~?”

Claudia: “Oh totally—! I’m totally all for that tiny dragon~. He’s so cute I just want to eat him up!”

Christina: “That slime is way cuter, you know~. That tiny but jiggly body, it’s just too cute~!”

Svetlana: “Oh I get that. Like, you think it’s weak, but it’s totally strong! That slime’s the best one!”

Margarita/Alicia/Esmeralda: “The Fenrir’s the best!”

Catalina/Diana/Claudia: “The tiny dragon’s the best!”

Christina/Svetlana/Beatrice: “No, the slime’s the best!”

(The nine heads split into three teams and glare at each other.)

Margarita: “Ahem. Let’s calm down.”

Diana: “Y-Yeah...”

Beatrice: “Let’s just acknowledge that we all have our own favorites.”

Esmeralda: “R-Right.”

Christina: “W-We each have our own tastes, too.”

Svetlana: “Y-Yeah. Of course we’re different.”

Catalina: “Now that I think about it, that’s true.”

Claudia: “Yeah. Yeah!”

Alicia: “Hey, changing the subject, that human looked pretty good too, right? Like, if you ate him, he’d be totally delicious.”

(All nine heads swallowed their saliva.)

...At the same time that telepathic conversation was happening, Fel, Dora-chan, Sui, and Mukohda all shivered at once.

“I-I just got the shivers real bad for some reason......”

“You too? I also experienced it. This is the first time......”

《Me too. It felt like I just got hit with some extreme chills all of a sudden......》

《Sui too......》

A Discourse on Drinks

I let out a deep breath. “Delicious.”

We were currently camping out on the side of the road. It was after dinner, and I was relaxing with a cup of black tea.

Before coming to this world, I was completely in the coffee camp (even when I did drink black tea, it was from a teabag), but when I learned that my Online Supermarket stocked a lot of different tea leaves, I tried some out and it was so delicious. Now I drink it about as often as I do coffee.

The black tea I was drinking right now was one that I’ve really gotten into recently, and I’ve been drinking it after every meal these days.

“Hey. I see you drink that often. Is it really that delicious?” Fel asked after finishing his after-meal cola, staring at me.

“It’s a type of tea called ‘black tea.’ It’s good.”

“It does seem better than that black and bitter mud water you like to drink,” Fel said as he sniffed at the drink before muttering, “It smells nice.”

By ‘black and bitter mud water,’ did he mean coffee?

It was true that I’d let Fel try some before when he asked, but he made a face like he just swallowed a bug and said things like “bitter” and “terrible.” It was awful.　

You’d be subject to some thunderous insults by the entire country’s coffee enthusiasts, you know?

“Black and bitter mud water...... That’s coffee, right? You know that’s delicious in its own way. Well, leaving coffee aside, this black tea has apple... I mean, appool jam in it. Do you remember? We got a lot of appools from someone we helped a while back, right? I made a jam out of that.”

Appool fruits were a fruit in this world that resembled apples. Unlike Japanese apples, appools were really acidic and quite sour when eaten raw. I made apple pie and everyone enjoyed it, but there were quite a lot of leftover appools.

So, I made jam. I already kind of knew how to make it anyway, since I’d seen mothers in my neighborhood make jam with strawberries and apples and figs and stuff.

~◇~◇~◇~

After peeling the appools, removing the core, and cutting the rest into gingko-leaf-shaped wedges, rinse with salt water. When the apples have lost some of their excess juiciness, add them to a pot with salt and lemon juice (the acidity is really strong, so make sure to use only a little), and cook over medium heat until the mixture starts boiling. Once that happens, scoop out any scum that forms and reduce to low heat.

After that step, continue to simmer on low heat until the mixture thickens to finish.

~◇~◇~◇~

It was fine that I made the jam, but our meals were almost always meat and the desserts were usually cakes from Fumiya, so I never got the chance to show it to anyone and it had just been sitting in my Item Box.

But a while back, I remembered I had the jam while I was drinking tea, so I tried adding some jam to it to make Russian tea to see how it tasted.

From what I heard from a junior who liked black tea, in Japan it’s thought that just adding jam to black tea is called ‘Russian tea,’ but strictly speaking, using a spoon to eat jam and having tea separately is true Russian tea.

Well, I decided to go with the Japanese-style Russian tea I was familiar with, and just added my homemade appool jam to my black tea and drank it. When I did, it was unexpectedly delicious, so I was really into it these days.

“So, the fact that you asked if it’s good means that you want to try it, right?”

“Indeed. Well done understanding.”

“Well, of course.”

I mean, I’ve spent basically all my time in this world together with Fel.

《If that’s the case I want to try some too. I’m pretty interested since you always look like you’re enjoying it.》

《Sui also wants to try what master is drink—ing!》

“What, you too, Dora-chan, Sui? Then I’ll get it ready, so wait a little.”

Since it wasn’t just Fel, but Dora-chan and Sui who wanted to try it, I started to prepare some for everyone.

I usually used a tea strainer since I only had to prepare enough for me, but since I was going to be making tea for everyone, I quickly bought a teapot using my skill.

I chose a clear teapot made of heat resistant glass. It’d be easier to check and adjust how strong the tea was from its color using this teapot.

I added the tea leaves to the teapot I’d just bought, using Nilgiri leaves.

I had tested out a lot of different kinds of leaves that I’d bought using my Online Supermarket, but for Russian tea using appool jam, Nilgiri leaves worked the best in my opinion. I felt like the astringency and fragrance of the tea was mild and refreshing, which paired well with the appool jam. The combination of the Nilgiri black tea’s fragrance and the appool jam’s sweetness and acidity all came together, changing into an indescribable goodness.

That said, for straight tea, I much prefer Darjeeling.

I poured boiling water into the teapot with said Nilgiri tea inside and closed the lid to steep them.

“Right. That should just about do it.”

With that done, I poured the black tea into deep dishes for Fel and the others before adding in my homemade appool jam and mixing them together.

“Here. It’s hot, I’m warning you.”

“Hm. What a nice smell.”

《Yeah. It’s not bad.》

《It smells like flowers and fruit~. Nice~!》

“Black tea is the kind of tea that you can enjoy the fragrance of too, after all. If you like nice smells, other leaves would be better, but for the way I served it this tea is best. The fragrance with this one is still really nice, though,” I said, pouring another serving into my mug.

Then, Fel and Dora-chan used Wind magic to cool down their drinks a little, while Sui didn’t mind the heat at all and just drank up.

“So, how do you like the black tea?”

“Hmmm, not bad... Not bad, but to me, cola is still the best.”

《I agree. It’s not bad, but it’s not like it’s really good either.》

《Sui thinks the cider and cola is better, too...》

“Gggr...! But you were the ones who said you wanted to try it.”

“Well, is it not fine that we discovered that cola is the best drink?”

《Hey now, the only one that thinks that is you, right Fel? For me, the best has gotta be cider. Next is cola, after that is fruit milk after a nice bath, and then orange juice. This tea would probably be next after those.》

“Mrr... Cider is hard to ignore, but cola has got to be the best, no? No other drink has that stimulating feel in the mouth.”

《If you’re talking about the fizziness, then cider’s the same, you know.》

“Cola has a unique flavor that makes it better.”

《You know, Sui likes both cola and cider about the same! Both are delicious, right? And next is — fruit milk, maybe? Drinking it after a bath is so cool and sweet! Fruit milk is really delicious~!》

“Well, cider is also quite a delicious drink...”

《Yeah. Cola’s good, too.》

“............After all this talk of cola and cider, I want to drink some.”

《You too, huh Fel? I’m the same.》

《Sui too—!》

All three of them turned to look at me at the same time.

“Ahh, fine, fine. Cola and cider, right?”

I served everyone their cola and cider. “Geez, even though this started out over black tea, at some point it became about cola and cider? Well, I guess with their childish tastes, they wouldn’t understand the appeal of tea.”

Seeing everyone say that cola and cider were better than the black tea he’d been enjoying recently, Mukohda sulked.

I Refuse! ~IF Mukohda’s Party was Based Out of Dolan~

“Breakfast is ready~.”

“What is today’s breakfast?”

“It’s yesterday’s roast beef sandwiches.”

Yesterday’s dinner was roast beef made using golden-backed bull meat, so I made a lot extra.

《Ohh. Looks delicious.》

《So delicious~.》

I used my skill to purchase French sourdough and lightly toasted it, before slathering on some butter and using it to sandwich lots of roast beef that had been flavored with grated onion and pepper steak sauce. Of course the steak sauce was good, but what was really great was how well it went with roast beef.

I had my share, topped with some lettuce and onion.

“Uhmm~, can I have some too?”

............

I knew you were there, I’ve just been ignoring you, you know?

“Just why is Elrand here, right from the morning......?”

Recently you’ve been coming to my house every day, it feels like.

It’s actually scary how he’s just in my house all of a sudden sometimes.

“Man, you know, yesterday Ugohl declared that he wouldn’t let me go home if I didn’t finish all the work that’s piled up, so I did my best since I had no other choice. But I ended up going home so late...... So, I came here to your house instead since it’s also close to the guild, Mukohda.”

“You ‘came?’ For that reason?! OUR HOUSES ARE THE SAME DISTANCE FROM THE GUILD!”

“What are you saying? It’s just a little, but your house is closer.”

There’s no need to look so smug when saying something like that.

“Hahh, that so? Anyway, that means that you came during the middle of the night, right Elrand? How did you get into the house? I don’t remember the doorbell ringing, and I certainly didn’t open the door and invite you in.”

Just in case, I asked Fel and the others about it, but no one remembered letting anybody into the house.

“Well of course. I have a duplicate key.”

............What?

“Hey wait a second, why do you have a key to my house, Elrand?”

“Now now now now, calm down. It’s fine, isn’t it? We’re friends.”

“Nonononono, it’s not fine at all! To start, I don’t remember ever giving you a key. Did you make it on your own?!”

“No... Well, I’m the guildmaster for this place’s Adventurer’s guild, you know? So I used some connections......”

“So you did make it on your own! You have to stop that, really! You know, back home, there’s a saying that goes, ‘good fences make good neighbors!’”

“Geez, don’t get so mad~. We went into a dungeon together and everything, didn’t we? It feels nice in this house, and Dora-chan’s here too. It’s just the best!”

I don’t care about it being the best or not; this isn’t your house! I mean, you’ve got your own magnificent house given to you by the guild, so use it!

“Ah! I just thought of something great! Why don’t I just live here?”

“Hahh? What do you think you’re saying?!”

“Just listen to me. I can just live here. That solves all the problems. Isn’t it a great idea? Ah, of course I’ll pay rent, so don’t worry!”

Nonono, I’m all worries.

And wait, don’t just decide this on your own! I’m not going to let you just live in my house as you please.

“I’m going to say this as clearly as possible, Elrand, to let you live here......”

《No! No! I object!! I absolutely completely object to letting that live in this house!!!》 Dora-chan stuck himself onto my face while desperately objecting through telepathy.

《Dora-chan...... I get it already. I mean, of course I’d object. I don’t want him living in our house either so let go,》 I replied, and Dora-chan let go of my face.

Elrand, an elf full of dragon LOVE, looked at that jealously. And when he spoke, it came out in a mutter: “So jealous. I want to touch Dora-chan too...”

Seeing that, Dora-chan shivered greatly and clung onto my arm.

《Gross! So gross! Too gross! That guy is way too gross!! I never want to live with that, ever! Got it? In the first place, it’d be impossible to be with him 24/7! Absolutely impossible!!》

Dora-chan was the one who stood to take the most damage from this, so I understood where he was coming from, but those words were too harsh.

《Don’t worry. I’ll refuse him clearly.》

I turned back to Elrand again. “Elrand......”

“Hey. I want more.”

Learn to read the room, Fel~! This doesn’t concern you, so you could just stay quiet, geez!

《Sui wants more too~!》

Yeah, Sui was absorbed in its roast beef so it totally wasn’t listening at all, huh?

I served Fel and Sui their extra helpings before going back to the subject at hand...

“Uhh, Elrand, I have to refuse to let you into my house. It’ll be impossible to live together.”

“W-Why?!!”

“Dora-chan absolutely hates the idea.”

“Dora-chan...... Hates............”

In despair, Elrand was shaking from top to bottom.

He fell to his knees, hanging his head and looking entirely like the “orz” emoji. I felt a little sad for him.

“W-Well, just eat this and feel better.”

I felt bad, so I served him one of the extra-meaty roast beef sandwiches I’d made for Fel and the others on a plate. Elrand started munching while crying.

However, Elrand was resilient against these kinds of blows it seemed, as the next day he dropped by like always, even though we didn’t invite him in or anything.