Volume 5, Chapter 31 – The Queen’s Heart

After three straight days, the heavy snow finally ended tonight. The biting cold wind that blew across the barren plains created a whining sound against the windows. Coupled with the pitch-black, starless night sky, if one were to commit murder, the dark and windy night was undoubtedly the perfect time.

An ordinary family would have long since shut their doors and windows, and indeed, the residents of the Snake-folk town were no different. If one were to walk out onto the streets now, they would find not a single candle flame, a quiet and dilapidated scene like a dead city ravaged by the undead.

However, this was not a problem for Fia. There was only a slight excitement in her heart. Dressed in a light-colored nightgown, she pulled the curtains shut with a swish. Then, without caring if her skirt would fly up, she fell back into bed with a flop, her fluttering skirt accompanying her. With a “poof” as most of her body sank into the bed, Fia let out a long sigh of relief.

“Ah~ ah~ As expected of the result I spent two days testing. The temperature is just right. It didn’t waste my time.”

As she spoke, Fia turned over in bed, and as if treating the bed like a hug pillow, she spread her body out and hugged the bedding and pillow tightly.

“Mmm~~ I never understood why people living on frozen planets would hug their heaters the moment they got inside, but now I finally get it. Although a biological body is inconvenient, it’s also more comfortable than a steel body with no sensation—wait, why am I having this thought?”

Fia, who had been making strange moans for the warm bedding a moment ago, suddenly looked up.

Could it be that I used to be a robot, even less than an android?

In the Shining Era, although androids were also a type of robot, they had self-awareness and enjoyed the same rights as normal humans. Robots, on the other hand, had no self-awareness and were like livestock, born to serve humans. Therefore, androids had the same five senses as humans, while robots could only know cold and heat through sensors and couldn’t understand what that feeling was really like.

Her delicate, doll-like, and cold features became strange. Fia shook her head repeatedly.

“No, no, no matter what, I can’t be that kind of livestock-like robot. Besides, if I were a robot of that level, how could I have developed self-awareness? Yes, that’s it.”

Having easily figured it out, Fia continued to bury her face in the fragrant and soft pillow—it was a pillow she had secretly swapped from Claire’s room during the day. She took a deep breath of the faint medicinal scent, which was like burying her head in Claire’s long silver hair.

“But then again, the protagonists in most stories would want to return to their original world, but I’m not even interested in regaining my memories. A normal, sentient being wouldn’t be like this, right? Not to mention fighting tooth and nail to go home, at least they’d have to figure out their own identity… I’ll ask those gods next time. If I can meet a Holy Son from another world, I can ask them too.”

It had been almost half a year since she came to the World Tree Continent, yet Fia had never met anyone from another world. Although Liti had lived two lives, she could only be called a reincarnator. A true transmigrator should be someone from another world, bringing with them new knowledge.

“I wonder if I can find the White Night Goddess and the Polar Night Goddess in the Weeping Mountains. If I can’t find them, I can only seek out the ancient gods of the World Tree and the Fire God in the west. Oh, and there’s a God of the Underworld.”

Fia had no intention of going through Nola to meet the goddesses. The fact that they were staying in the Weeping Mountains and were unwilling to come out must mean they had their own ideas. To have Nola lead the way would only cause her trouble. The god might even get angry and revoke her status as a Holy Son. Then she would owe her a favor, which would be extremely troublesome.

Rеaԁ оn КаtReаԁinɡCаfе

Compared to that, it was more reliable to go in and find them herself. This was also the reason why she hadn’t asked Nola from the beginning which goddess had chosen her. Once she opened her mouth, it would be equivalent to bringing trouble to Nola.

In addition, it should be noted that from the few words revealed by the Elf God, it could be inferred that the gods of this world could communicate with each other and were unanimously hostile to outsiders like her and Claire, believing that they would destroy the rules that maintained the world’s operation.

Among them, Claire’s aura as an outsider was stronger, and a god could detect it at a glance. Her own aura was very well-hidden. It wasn’t until she used her enchanted blade to harm the Elf God that he discovered she was not from the World Tree Continent.

Therefore, in the future, she couldn’t let Claire appear directly in front of a god. She had to hide her as much as possible until words failed, and then use force to make them submit. She was just asking a question and for a little help. If the gods were in trouble in the future, she would return the favor and help them solve their difficulties. This was good for both sides. Unless they were fools, they wouldn’t rather lose their lives than agree.

“I’ll think about these things later. The most important things now are Tilulu and Nola.”

If Tilulu wanted to be queen, besides her own efforts, it also depended on Chazo and Nola. Chazo could be eliminated without anyone knowing, but Nola could not. Although she was not very likable, it was because no one had taught her what to do, not because she was an incorrigibly arrogant fool. Her crime was not punishable by death.

However, if Tilulu wanted to become queen of the Cold Night, she would inevitably have to fight Nola. Fia wanted to avoid their conflict escalating into a war as much as possible. The simplest and most direct solution was, of course, to have them decide the winner in a one-on-one duel, according to the beastfolk tradition.

But even if she secretly helped Tilulu win, she would surely be exposed in her future interactions with Nola. The only way forward was to use words combined with a huge advantage to force Nola to admit defeat, and then give her some benefits, recruiting her and the Holy Son Faction she represented, to end things peacefully.

But to achieve this, she must first defeat Chazo and gather his old subordinates, so that Tilulu would have enough of an advantage to force Nola to admit defeat. But even this method was difficult to achieve in a short time. Ultimately, the time left for her and Tilulu was too short. Tilulu had not accumulated enough of a foundation and prestige in the past. They faced numerous difficulties in all aspects, like being stuck in a swamp, where even lifting a foot required immense resistance.

So tricky.

Hugging the pillow, Fia clicked her tongue inwardly. The beastfolk revered strength, and their transportation was extremely inconvenient. Otherwise, as long as she used brute force to make Tilulu the queen, it wouldn’t take long for the entire Cold Night to submit to her.

“In two days at most, Chazo’s soldiers will be at the city gates. I have to take this opportunity to spread the word that Tilulu is claiming the throne to the entire Cold Night…”

Three days had passed since Tilulu had shown the young Snake-folk who the stronger one was in the beastfolk way. In these three days, Fia had either been training Tilulu or on the road with her, searching for scattered tribes in the vicinity. This effort was not in vain. This morning, Fia had found a small Rat-folk tribe of only two to three hundred people and had Tilulu make them swear allegiance.

Those Rat-folk had, of course, refused, and even cursed that a little girl like her was not qualified to be their king. She should just stay and bear children for them. They had even been extremely arrogant and surrounded Fia’s group, declaring that if Tilulu and Fia didn’t stay, they would capture her and offer her to Chazo.

Tilulu did not disappoint. The two sides quickly came to blows. In less than two minutes, the Rat-folk, roasted by fireballs, were kneeling and kissing the tip of Tilulu’s foot, swearing allegiance. Their docile appearance was a stark contrast to their previous unruly tone.

This huge transformation once again made Fia realize that the way beastfolk thought was vastly different from elves and humans. As long as the other party was stronger than them, even if they were shouting at them a moment ago, they could kneel and submit the next. Conversely, if the other party was weaker, the beastfolk would always step on them and bully them at will.

Whether it was the Rat-folk or the young Snake-folk whose nose had been broken by Tilulu before, it was all the same.

Rеаⅾ οո ΚatRеаԁіոgСаfe

To live in the same World Tree Continent, yet have such a huge difference in thinking, made Fia marvel. She lifted the covers, got in, and stared blankly at the ceiling.

“Tilulu’s been acting a bit strange lately…”

It wasn’t that she lacked motivation. On the contrary, she had been too motivated, working too hard. Every time the training ended, she would ask with great expectation how she had done.

Normally, this was a good thing, but Fia felt it shouldn’t be like this. To make an analogy, it was like suddenly stretching a spring too far, making it too taut. After a long time, the spring would completely lose its original function. She was a little worried about Tilulu’s mental state.

As for why she had become like this, Fia was not without a clue. Tilulu had started to work hard after she had beaten up those young Snake-folk two days ago. The reason must lie in this incident. However, since Tilulu didn’t say it herself, Fia didn’t feel it was appropriate to ask. She could only feel that Tilulu was becoming more and more affectionate towards her, as if she had already accepted her as someone she could trust.

“From my perspective, this is a good thing, but this faint unease…”

Knock, knock.

A knock on the door suddenly sounded in her ear.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, Fia tilted her head and looked at the door. The only ones who would come to find her at this time were Liti and Milu. Fia felt it was most likely the former, because the howling wind outside was quite scary, and only Liti was afraid of such sounds.

“The door’s unlocked. Come in.”

“Alright…”

“Huh?”

Before the door could open, Fia’s spirit was suddenly jolted, and she quickly sat up.

The person who had come was not Liti, but Tilulu.

By the light from the corridor, one could see her worried expression. Her petite body of only twelve or thirteen stood by the door, her listless look and drenched appearance reminiscent of a kitten soaked in the rain.

Fia’s heart instantly leaped to her throat. She quickly got out of bed and pulled the ice-cold Tilulu into the room.

Rеaⅾ οn ΚatRеadinɡCаfe

“Tilulu? What’s wrong with you?”

…

A short while earlier.

“Hiss…”

With a splash of water, Tilulu, standing by the well, lifted the bucket and poured the water she had just drawn over her head.

The bone-chilling cold instantly seeped into her skin, and the surging cold wind also carried away her body heat. The pain made her tense her entire body, and her breathing even stopped for a moment. But she felt her spirit relax a lot, and she had calmed down.

Just as some ascetics believed that pain was a virtue and thus tortured themselves in various ways, Tilulu was doing the same thing. The only difference was that the ultimate goal of the ascetics was to seek a shortcut to heaven, while Tilulu was seeking a moment of peace for her uneasy heart.

She was afraid.

Panic, fear, confusion, nervousness—a series of negative emotions had long since reached their limit after days of accumulation. Today’s confrontation with the Rat-folk had finally set them off. She felt an uncontrollable sense of dread and couldn’t calm down all night. Only by seeking physical stimulation could she temporarily relax her tense nerves.

If this continued, she would one day have to face those great figures. Not only the Holy Son, but also the king of the Cold Night, and thousands of countless tribal chieftains and priests. She was afraid to meet these people and did not dare to bear the responsibility of becoming queen.

She had indeed said to everyone that she wanted to be queen, but that was because she knew that even if she said so, she wouldn’t really become one and bear the responsibilities she couldn’t afford. And the reason why she said so, despite not wanting to, was simply because she didn’t want to disappoint Radric and her followers.

Back at Count Yureidon’s castle, Nola’s suspicion had not been wrong. She, Tilulu, was just being pushed along by Radric. She did want to avenge her clan and her parents, but that was limited to killing Chazo and those involved in the incident. That was why she had chosen to join the Witch Sanctuary.

She had never thought of becoming the queen of the Cold Night and bearing the lives of hundreds of millions of people. This was both out of a clear self-awareness, knowing that she did not have the qualities of a queen, and out of a fear of others’ criticism, resentment, and even hostility. She had seen too many followers die to protect her, and she knew she was a cowardly and indecisive person. Just the thought of the difficulties she would have to face after becoming queen—the looks of trust and disappointment from others—made her legs go weak, and she just wanted to find a corner to squat in and escape.

And her efforts over the past few days were merely the result of a whim, without serious thought. This mentality was like a poor student who, upon arriving in a new environment, resolves to study hard, but their enthusiasm only lasts for a few minutes and is soon overcome by a desire to play as time goes by—

This analogy was not quite fitting. To be more precise, it was like an introverted and reserved person with social anxiety who makes up their mind to go out and find a job. After finding a job, they want to change and become more likable. However, after just a few days of work, their resolve to change is gradually crushed by various social activities. While barely coping with colleagues’ invitations, they think that their original state is more suitable for them and just want to go back to their small room of a few square meters as soon as possible.

The current Tilulu was in this state. At first, she was pushed by Radric to get to know Fia’s group, then she was pushed back to the Cold Night. Then, because of the kindness Fia showed, she slowly let down her guard and tried to become friends with this older sister who was a few years her senior.

Rеad οո КatRеαԁіոgCαfе

Then, a series of dazzling events made her instinctively trust Fia, and she even began to have some unrealistic fantasies—that this elf princess who cared for and helped her was like her family.

Because of this expectation, she began to cater to Fia’s ideas, hoping to win her favor. She even became full of hope for the future because of the grand vision Fia had painted. But when she came back to her senses and the difficulties truly arrived, she found that she had already been pushed a considerable distance towards the direction of a queen. Not only had she taught the young Snake-folk who had bullied her a lesson, but today she had even made a small Rat-folk tribe swear allegiance to her.

This was not the result she had expected. For them to swear allegiance to her, the price for them to obey her commands was that she also had to protect their safety and be responsible for their lives. If anything happened to them, she, as their king, must come forward to solve their difficulties. And besides these, as a king, she must also maintain her majesty, be mindful of her words and actions at all times, and suppress her own nature.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t experienced these things. She had her own followers, and just maintaining an innocent, pure, and brave image in front of them had already taken all her strength. To play the role of another person to satisfy the imagination of others was a pressure that was hard for those who hadn’t experienced it to imagine, and a torture they couldn’t understand.

Yet, she couldn’t resist these things, nor could she show weakness or retreat. These followers had given up their homes and lives to protect her. How could she appear so incompetent in front of them? Moreover, Radric had always been supporting her, racking his brains to find a way for her. She couldn’t bring herself to say that she didn’t want to be queen. Once she did, it would be a betrayal of everyone’s trust and all their efforts.

But just the expectation of less than a hundred people had already exhausted her. In the future, as more and more people swore allegiance to her, how would she face everyone? She was not sure if she could still perfectly hide her true self then. And just the thought of the responsibilities she would have to bear in the future made her chest feel as if a huge rock was pressing on it, making it hard to breathe, as if her failure and everyone’s disappointment were already close at hand, making her live in constant fear.

Those people were right. The person named Tilulu Lujue did not have the qualifications to be a queen. That day in the castle when Nola told her she could be a puppet queen, how she had wanted to agree on the spot. That way, she could both ensure the safety of her followers and take revenge in advance. And she wouldn’t have to bear those responsibilities she couldn’t afford. Everyone could have a good ending.

However, she couldn’t make that decision, because Nola had said it in front of Radric and her followers. Both of them wanted to see her become a queen, not a puppet. She couldn’t imagine Radric’s shocked and disappointed expression when she agreed to become a puppet, let alone the thought of him leaving her. So, she could only refuse Nola’s proposal.

And now, because she had been indulging in the education and care of Fia, who was both a teacher and like a sister, even a mother, she would have to declare that she would become queen in a few days when facing Chazo’s army, and even lead an army in the future. This heavy responsibility and trust, just the thought of it made it hard for her to breathe.

Before I truly take that step, I should explain everything to teacher as soon as possible. With her tolerance for me, things might not be so bad…

Tilulu unconsciously hugged her cold arms. She might disappoint her teacher, but it was better than declaring to everyone that she would become queen, and then saying she didn’t have the qualifications or confidence to be one.

No…

The cold made her body tremble slightly, but she just bit her lower lip tightly, her features gradually twisting.

She had only been with her teacher for a week. Even if her teacher really left her out of disappointment, it wouldn’t be a great loss for either of them. After a while, they would both forget each other, and it would be as if nothing had ever happened.

Even if it was very shameful, and she would be seen as a waste and a coward by her teacher, it was better than things getting worse. Since they hadn’t been together for long, a short pain was better than a long one. It was a release for both of them. There were people more suitable for her teacher in this world. She was just an insignificant one in the vast sea of people…

At this thought, her chest tightened even more. Sadness and pain made her stomach churn, as if something would surge up her esophagus and out of her throat at any moment. But even so, she still took a difficult step towards the residence. This was something she had to do. It was for the good of both of them.