Volume 6, Chapter 61 – Inescapable Responsibility

Passing through the slightly humid, low corridor, Fia arrived before a wooden door. Although the architecture of the Charm Cat Tribe was quite Japanese in style, the door was still an ordinary sliding door. Combined with the low ceiling, it gave a sense of oppression.

Especially the noise coming from the far end of the corridor, which added to the indescribable heaviness drifting in the air, as if this place were another world isolated from the outside.

I hope Nola isn’t asleep.

Praying silently, Fia stepped forward and knocked lightly on the door.

“Nola, are you awake?”

No answer came from inside, but Fia saw the flow of elements in the room through her [Mana Vision]. The human-shaped outline filled with orange-red fire elements, symbolizing Nola, was lying on the bed.

After hearing Fia’s voice, the person on the bed moved, but then seemed to remember something and lay back down. After pausing like this for a second, Nola finally got up from the bed and walked silently to the door.

Nola definitely didn’t know Fia’s [Mana Vision] could penetrate buildings to a certain extent. An untimely smile rose in Fia’s heart. Having spent some time with Nola, she could completely guess Nola’s psychological activities during the series of actions just now.

Initially reacting subconsciously upon hearing her voice, then for some reason lying back down—perhaps having resistance towards her, or simply not wanting to see anyone and just wanting to be alone. However, thinking of their identities and the matter of rescuing hostages in the morning, she finally put aside her personal feelings and came to open the door as the Clan Chief of the Fire Cat Tribe.

Really easy to understand.

Although it wasn’t appropriate to say this from the perspective of the person knocking, the fact was that Nola didn’t have to accommodate others like this. Fia wasn’t an unreasonable person. Everyone had times when they were willful; a person who was always rational didn’t exist in the world. It was precisely the different degrees of willfulness that gave each person their own characteristics.

Click.

With a slight sound of the latch, the heavy wooden door was pulled open from the inside by Nola. Through the crack that was hard to squeeze through, Fia saw Nola’s face. Her complexion was very haggard, and her eyes were somewhat red and swollen, seemingly having cried bitterly not long ago.

To avoid being discovered by Fia, Nola lowered her eyes, her words coming out as difficult as squeezing toothpaste.

“Is there something that matters?”

“Sort of.”

While speaking, Fia used her body to push the wooden door, forcibly squeezing through a crack to enter the room. Nola’s purple cat eyes revealed obvious displeasure, but she didn’t say anything. She closed the door and followed into the room, holding her drooping left arm with her right hand, looking listless, like a frail noble lady.

Her spirit is much better than before. If it were last night, she definitely wouldn’t have opened the door for me.

Fia looked around the room. This was the room Tsukuyomi specially reserved for Nola, the Clan Chief. Not only was the room exceptionally spacious, but the luxurious large bed also had a white canopy. Various pieces of furniture were all available. The wall even hung a decorative noble rapier and calligraphy and painting. Under the goose-yellow light overhead, everything looked magnificent and exquisite.

However, because Nola wasn’t in the mood to tidy up the bedding when she got up, the sheets were wrinkled everywhere, and the quilt was a messy ball, destroying the noble charm. Of course, corresponding to this was much more of a girlish scent—mainly the air. Probably because Nola stayed in the room without coming out, the room was filled with the girlish perfume smell, or rather the fragrance on Nola’s body, making one feel fluffy.

“What do you want to say?” Sitting softly by the table in extreme exhaustion, Nola’s voice sounded weak, not even looking at Fia. “If you want to invite me to the celebration banquet hosted by Ying, please tell Ying that I’m not feeling well. I’m sorry.”

“Not feeling well? Where exactly?”

Fia asked knowingly, taking the opportunity to sit opposite Nola. She pretended to pick up a teacup on the round table to play with, but was actually paying attention to the changes in Nola’s expression.

Nola frowned, her tone becoming stiff.

“You don’t need to know so much.”

“I am caring about you; don’t be ungrateful.” Although the words sounded like picking a fight, Fia used a frivolous tone, so the smell of gunpowder was much less. She shrugged her shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me when you went to the Weeping Mountains last night? What did you say to that demon dressed as a priest? Don’t think I don’t know. Now even an ignorant child can see your state is wrong. Tell me what happened; maybe I can help you.”

“Help?”

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Nola’s pitch went up a notch. She finally raised her eyes to look at Fia, her gaze full of self-mockery, shaking her head and laughing lightly.

“It’s already over. There’s no helping or not helping. From beginning to end, it was me being self-righteous, taking myself too seriously.”

Finally willing to vent emotions.

Fia breathed a sigh of relief. People instinctively sought out those around them to confide in, hoping to get attention and emphasize their existence. This was especially true when encountering difficulties. Even for unspeakable privacy, they would still seek help from the person they trusted most. This was subconscious behavior. Most of the time, even if thinking about keeping secrets, they would eventually couldn’t help but confide. Calling it a self-protection mechanism wasn’t wrong either. Nola willing to tell her the process was simply wonderful.

“Over? What do you mean?”

Fia took out fruit wine with alcohol from her spatial backpack and filled the glass. Nola glanced at it, picked it up without a word, and drank it in one gulp.

“Over means over. Didn’t you see it too? That demon claiming to be Helian, she is the Goddess I’ve always talked about, the person who gave me the Flame Greatsword and made me think I was a Holy Son… How ridiculous. Originally I thought it didn’t matter even if my Goddess was a Darkborn. I didn’t expect her to harm the innocent. I thank her for saving my life, but this can’t make me ignore her using the weak as experimental subjects…”

After finishing the self-hypnotic words, Nola bit her lip tight, her voice as difficult as squeezing out from between her teeth.

“To think I believed she wouldn’t do such things. What have I believed in all these years? From the moment Helian blocked that sword strike for me yesterday, I felt all this was a dream. I was just living in a dream. But when I woke up from sleep, there was no change around me. They are even celebrating. This is all real. I was just treated as a pet to come and go at call, played with when remembered. If you hadn’t arrived last night, I fear I would have been treated as an experimental subject just like those numb hostages. In their eyes, I, the Holy Son, am a joke, a clown performing acrobatics.”

By the end, Nola herself couldn’t help laughing, but this smile was uglier than crying.

Fia frowned.

“Helian is your Goddess? She isn’t that kind-hearted. Previously I dealt with this demon named Helian twice in the Silvar Kingdom. Her strength doesn’t qualify her to be a Goddess at all. What about the personal admission you mentioned? Are you sure you didn’t mistake the person?”

“Won’t be wrong,” Nola became emotional. “Whether it’s the Flame Greatsword glowing when meeting her, or the golden light screen present every time we met, it was exactly the same as before. Even the vicissitudes of the voice hidden behind the light screen had no difference. I couldn’t have mistaken it!”

“But the Helian I know won’t save people. She would move heaven and earth if she didn’t kill a few people in passing. Besides, didn’t you ask about Claire before? How did your Goddess answer you at that time?”

“Claire is a person from another world.”

“That’s right.” Fia spread her hands. “When Helian first met Claire in the Silvar Kingdom, she didn’t know Claire was from another world. Not until Claire used magic different from this world did she know Claire’s identity. Helian and your Goddess—one didn’t know Claire, one knew Claire. This is enough to show the two are not the same person. Don’t think of things so badly.”

Fia reached her right hand across the table, resting it on Nola’s shoulder, trying to comfort Nola. However, Nola suddenly raised her arm to block Fia’s hand. She stood up, her expression full of warning.

“What do you understand?! If not the same person, how would she know the voice and environment when Lord Goddess met me! Apart from me, no one knows what the surroundings looked like when I spoke with the Lord Goddess!”

“Hey, I came here to give you ideas, not to be a tool for your temper. Helian is in the Weeping Mountains; if you’re angry, go vent on her.”

Fia frowned even tighter. She was indeed a reasonable person, but this didn’t mean she had to be submissive just because Nola was in a bad mood.

However, what Nola said was also a reality that couldn’t be ignored. If Helian wasn’t Nola’s Goddess, the voice was the easiest thing to expose. Nola didn’t hear a difference; this was enough to explain a lot. Either the two were the same person for some reason, or Helian and Nola’s Goddess knew each other, memorizing the other’s voice tone and some habits when speaking.

Without clear evidence proving the two were different people, it was hard to make Nola accept it. People only believed what they wanted to believe. When she suspected her Goddess was harming the weak, she could no longer turn back.

Now she has truly lost everything.

Watching the light in Nola’s eyes gradually fade, Fia sighed quietly. First losing Claire whom she chased, being rejected by Claire straightforwardly. Then losing the goal of becoming the leader of Cold Night because Tilulu became the Queen. Now even the Goddess acting as the last haven was her enemy.

This not only meant she was betrayed by the Goddess but also represented that her identity as the revered Holy Son was all in vain. Just as the Demon General of Absolute Death and Chazo said, Nola was just a fraud claiming to be a Holy Son with a god-given weapon. Everything she believed in was a bubble.

If there was a God of Fate in this world, she was too unfair to Nola.

Damn it.

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Fia cursed in her heart.

It just so happened she was also one of the people playing with Nola’s fate, even arguably the main culprit. The person who pushed things to this point today was her. But the problem was, she had a clear conscience about everything she did. Nola just happened to stand on her path forward, forced to change her trajectory.

Comforting Nola now simply seemed like a murderer comforting the victim, appearing hypocritical.

She began to regret speaking harsh words to Nola just now. At this moment, Nola had already stood up. She let her arms droop as if losing strength, biting her lip until it bled.

“You’re right… I shouldn’t vent my anger on you. This is all my own doing. If I could have realized earlier that there was no problem with the Flame Greatsword, today’s matter wouldn’t have happened.”

She gradually clenched her fists, her face showing unwillingness and emotion like hatred.

“Just why do these things happen to fall on my head? What wrong did I commit to be punished like this? Claire’s heart belongs to someone else—I can comfort myself, saying it’s all my fault for forgetting Claire. At least she is happy when with you. But why is even the Lord Goddess I trusted like this? Where did all the efforts I made over these years not to disappoint the name of Holy Son go? Why exactly did I work hard? Huh? Who can tell me? What was it all for? Why is there nothing in the end!”

“Yeah, Fia and Claire wiping out the Darkborn stronghold and stopping the earthquake is worth celebrating. What Ying did is reasonable. Then what about me? Why does no one care about me? Wasn’t I always working hard for them? The result is now even the singing and celebration outside have nothing to do with me! Everything is yours. I am just an obstacle blocking your way!”

“That weak white tiger could get your help by luck, becoming the Queen smoothly without doing anything. I wanted to save Ying’s clansmen, but they were also saved by you from Chazo without doing anything. Finally Chazo attacking the city, and the current earthquake, all solved without me doing anything. Then what meaning do I still have for existing? My efforts can only exchange for mockery from people around, ceaseless blows, and your pity? In that case, wouldn’t everything be fine if I didn’t exist from the start? Dying early in that fire, no need to see Claire, nor be deceived by that Darkborn till the end. What Holy Son or not, my life is a joke!”

By the end, Nola’s voice was already hoarse. She couldn’t control her emotions; tears slid down her cheeks one after another, and her features twisted. A string of words made her gasp for breath, but couldn’t cover the sobbing in her throat. She was like an abandoned wild cat, just standing there lonely, licking her wounds alone.

Fia’s whole body was tense, not knowing what to say. Nola was right. Fia did everything Nola was supposed to do, making Nola’s efforts seem futile. The overly dazzling Fia made Nola look as ridiculous as a jumping clown; useless except for highlighting Fia.

Although not intentional, nor against her conscience, stealing things belonging to Nola was also a fact. For a moment, Fia felt exceptionally embarrassed, feeling whatever she said would seem absurd. She stood there at a loss, wanting to comfort Nola but not knowing where to start.

Maybe bringing Ying to Brinkat was a wrong decision. The noise outside made Nola feel she was abandoned.

She listened to Nola’s sobbing, hesitating for a long time before gritting her teeth and speaking.

“Don’t you still have your responsibility as the Clan Chief?”

“Heh, just an Acting Clan Chief. There are plenty of people more capable of being Clan Chief than me. No, you’re right, I still have the responsibility of a Clan Chief. After this, I’ll resign from the position. This is enough; I have a clear conscience.”

“Resign from the position of Clan Chief? Beastmen revere strength. Who else besides you can convince the masses?”

“You’ll always have a way. Even if I don’t solve it, you’ll find a way to solve it. As long as Tilulu wants to be Queen, you won’t ignore it.”

Nola smiled, but this smile annoyed Fia. It was an expression of giving up on oneself, abandoning everything. She frowned.

“This is your responsibility. I can’t stay in Cold Night forever. Without you, the Fire Cat Tribe won’t be as stable as it is now. Nola, your current expression is no different from those suicidal gamblers on the roadside. You are the leader of the Fire Cat Tribe; this expression shouldn’t appear on your face. Even if Ying and Claire came to see your expression, their answer would only be the same as mine. In the final analysis, the possibility that Helian is your Goddess hasn’t been confirmed yet. Everything is not over yet.”

“My responsibility?” As if hearing something funny, Nola asked back, her expression becoming more and more angry, and finally hysterical. She grabbed Fia’s lapel, questioning sharply, “Isn’t the person who pushed me to this step you? Denying my efforts again and again, then pitying me again and again. Now you still want to keep me here as a laughingstock? Is teasing me that interesting?!”

“Teasing you? What kind of joke is that!”

Even with her current position, Fia couldn’t help feeling angry. Nola’s cowardly appearance made her feel conflicted to the extreme. She grabbed Nola’s collar back, took a few steps forward, and pinned Nola against the wall, her eyes full of anger staring straight into Nola’s eyes.

“When did I treat you as a laughingstock? Mm, yes, I did think Nola was worth teasing before, but I never treated you as a laughingstock. Do you think I’m happy to see you like this now? If there was a choice, I wouldn’t have chosen this path no matter what, but I had no choice. If I didn’t do it, everyone would die! Things have developed to this point; the only thing we can do is keep moving forward!”

Even being pinned against the wall by Fia, Nola wasn’t angry. Her eyes held only self-mockery.

“Move forward? Where else can I go?”

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“Tilulu needs your assistance. She needs someone who can support her. This position belongs to no one but you. Since your goal is to let the people of Cold Night live better, doesn’t assisting a wise monarch achieve the same goal? Or do you just want the position of King, and your goal isn’t as pure as you say?”

Nola widened her eyes, becoming angry as well. “Needs my assistance? I go support her, who comes to support me? Easier said than done. You don’t understand me at all. People I trusted left one after another, and the things I chased turned into bubbles one by one. If you were me, you would be the same as me!”

“What exactly are you talking about? The people around you—Ying, Tsukuyomi, your clansmen, and even me—aren’t we all supporting you, helping you? Feeling sorry for yourself here on your own, and now casting aside the help others give you. Do you really understand what nonsense you’re talking about?”

“If I looked down on you, I wouldn’t have come here at all. When I stand here, I am already valuing you. Are you going to fail the trust of all of us and pursue your so-called own life? You became the Acting Clan Chief admired by everyone through your own efforts. Do you think just the identity of a Holy Son can get everyone’s awe and recognition? Belittling your past efforts and saying no one supports you, don’t you feel ashamed saying that!”

As if to wake Nola up, Fia pressed hard against Nola’s chest, staring straight into Nola’s eyes.

“Bas—tard—”

Nola froze all over, her face flushing red from humiliation. Unable to find words to refute Fia, she could only swing her fist at Fia in anger. But Fia couldn’t let this hit land on herself. She caught Nola’s fist with her other hand, then twisted Nola around and threw her to the ground with a thud. Furious, her strength like a mountain made Nola unable to resist at all, only able to be held down face-first on the ground.

“Wake up!”

“It was you who pushed me to where I am today. Now I give up. What more do you want from me at this point! Fia, I’ve had enough!”

“Ugh.”

Nola’s rebuttal made Fia pause, and even the force in her hand relaxed for a moment. Only this point she couldn’t refute. Even if more people would die if she didn’t do so, the outcome was indeed that she led Nola to the current result.

She could blame Nola for being weak yet blaming others, but she came here to help her close friend Nola pull herself together, not to kick Nola when she was down. Nola had worked hard enough as a mortal. It could even be said it was hard to find someone as excellent as her. It was Fia who was too beyond standard, making Nola seem inadequate. She couldn’t mock a person who had no talent but worked hard by relying on her own innate talent.

She blamed herself but was also annoyed by Nola’s behavior. She couldn’t find a middle ground. Her brain was as hot as if boiling. Even racking her brains, she didn’t know how to make Nola stop being so decadent. She even started to feel like Nola, thinking if she hadn’t known Nola from the start, there wouldn’t be the current entanglement.

No… Since Nola was abandoned by trusted people one after another, then I will become the person who won’t abandon her and is worthy of her trust.

Such a thought flashed through her mind. Fia’s gaze gradually became firm. Although this was hard and might even be laughed at, there was a need to try. She released Nola, speaking word by word as if having made up her mind.

“If you must have someone like Claire and your Goddess who won’t betray you no matter when, then let me do it. I won’t abandon you.”

“Hmph, talking big.”

Nola was stunned for a moment, then sneered. But everything was just a facade of strength hiding inner weakness. Fia’s burning gaze made her feel everything at the bottom of her heart was seen through, too dazzling to look straight at. Even if Fia’s promise was as light as child’s play, it was also the thing she needed most, like light illuminating the bottom of a pitch-black well, making one unable to help but reach out to touch.

Her most powerful friend saying so seriously that she would help her—this proposal attracted people like a magic spell, making it impossible to look away.

Not missing Nola’s guilty action of turning her face away, Fia stood up. She took a deep breath, her emotions calming down.

“I am not lying. I won’t hide behind the scenes like Nola’s Goddess. I am standing right here. As long as you have a need, I can help you immediately. It’s too early to give up on yourself now. What if Helian isn’t your Goddess? When your Goddess returns and finds you have left her, what would she think? The Nola I know wouldn’t show this expression. Helian is in the Weeping Mountains; it’s not too late to go confront her face to face now.”

“…”

Nola bit her lip, not saying a word.

Maybe she didn’t know what to say, or maybe she wanted to say something but found it hard to speak, needing an outsider to guide her with clear words.

Fia said as calmly as possible.

“I’ll wait for you at the door. You tidy up, and we’ll go to Tsukuyomi’s place. Maybe you have many friends, but for me, you are the only close friend I’ve known from scratch. Everything I said comes from the bottom of my heart. Nola, I don’t want to see you give up on yourself so easily. You should stand on a bigger stage.”

After speaking, Fia straightened her lapel, putting the things on the table belonging to her back into the spatial backpack one by one. After a strangely quiet few minutes passed, Fia took a deep look at Nola, who had already stood up with her head lowered. After pausing for a moment, she turned and walked toward the door.

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However, before she could take a step, her formal dress was pulled by Nola.

Hmm?

Not knowing what happened, Fia couldn’t help getting nervous. She turned her head and asked tentatively.

“What’s wrong?”

“…”

“I’ll just wait for you outside the door.”

“…y with me.”

After hesitating for quite a long time, as if these words weighed a thousand pounds, Nola said in a low voice difficult for Fia to hear.

Fia tilted her head and asked again.

“What?”

“Stay with me.” This time Nola’s voice was a bit louder, and at the same time, her face was full of embarrassment. She knew she shouldn’t say such willful words, but the heart wanting to seek help from someone drove her to speak out inexplicably. As if unwilling to let Fia see her unbearable side, she turned her face to the side. “… Didn’t you say you would agree to whatever I say?”

This time it was Fia’s turn to be stunned. She did say such words.

Nola probably just wants someone to keep her company.

Fia helplessly withdrew her steps, but Nola’s request hadn’t ended. Seeming to know the next request was excessive and thus hard to mention, she half-clenched her right fist to cover her mouth, her eyes looking at the floor, stammering.

“… Can I hug you?”

Is your brain broken?

Fia really wanted to ask this, but having just promised to help Nola whenever she needed, refusing now would be trifling.

She pulled the corner of her mouth, feigning calm.

“Of course I keep my word on things I promised—”

Before Fia’s voice fell, Nola hugged her shyly and carefully. Then, Fia felt a soft, scented warm object plunge into her arms. She could feel Nola’s chest still sobbing; Nola’s fragrance filled her nasal cavity instantly.

Nola did nothing, just hugging Fia as if feeling the warmth. She twitched her nose tip lightly, smelling the scent of Fia’s jet-black long hair. Although she really didn’t want to admit it, the fact was this scent was full of reassurance, calming one’s emotions just by smelling it.

Although she and Fia had a considerable unpleasantness just now, she wasn’t a completely unreasonable person. Fia was right; she was indeed feeling sorry for herself. Everyone around her was helping her; only she herself felt abandoned, even saying words denying her past efforts. She couldn’t leave her clansmen alone. Helian might also indeed be a fake as Fia said. She was a bit too unbearable—no, too rash, too reckless, unlike a mature person.

Maybe even without Fia, she would understand she was too extreme after calming down. But Fia was willing to come find her and make such a heart-moving promise. Truly kind. In comparison, she was too useless.

—Useless then useless. At least let the current time last a little longer.

Throwing all troubles to the back of her mind, Nola hugged the already blushing Fia tighter, smelling the fragrance emitted by the Elf Princess deeply.