Volume 6, Chapter 82 – A Heart Reined in at the Precipice

Filled with immense nervousness and bashfulness, Nola walked out of the mansion’s main gate. The morning cries of street vendors echoed across the plaza, and the sounds of pedestrians and merchants haggling rose into the sky. The lively scene eased the tension in Nola’s heart slightly. Ignoring the strange looks from the two guards at the entrance, she came to a halt and took a deep breath. Only after she had adjusted her facial expression—making a smile appear as much as possible—did she step out.

Following Ruth’s instructions, she looked toward a small alley to the left of the gate. It was a corner formed by the mansion’s outer wall and the surrounding buildings of the plaza. Since the far end was blocked by a wall, making it a dead end, very few people ever went in that direction. Fia waiting for her there was a godsend—a face-to-face confession was far too difficult for Nola; if possible, she preferred a place with few people, or even somewhere where it was just her and Fia alone.

However, she didn’t just see Fia. She also saw a girl who shouldn’t have been there. Tilulu was doing the exact same thing she was. Almost instinctively, Nola’s heart skipped a beat. She couldn’t help but grow tense, hurriedly following Tilulu to hide at the corner of the wall and eavesdrop.

She watched quietly as Tilulu handed over that object that looked like a love letter, then Fia softly declined Tilulu again, followed by Tilulu puffing out her cheeks in anger, and finally the scene of Tilulu standing on her tiptoes to peck Fia’s left cheek before fleeing. Every bit of it entered her eyes.

Then, emotions of bitterness and sorrow filled Nola’s heart. She lowered her head, her hands tightly gripping the prepared pink envelope. She didn’t know whether she should walk out or simply leave. She had come here with expectation and joy, believing that as long as she followed Ruth’s instructions, prepared her sincerity, and bravely spoke her mind, everything would be foolproof—at least enough to pass Fia’s “test.” However, Tilulu’s actions had dragged her from her fantasy back to reality, slamming her hard against the ground.

Tilulu’s circumstances were far more tragic than her own, yet even so, Fia could only accept the letter and tell her to wait until she was an adult. Nola didn’t feel she was any “stronger” than Tilulu. Setting aside the fact that she had initially made a terrible impression on Fia, she simply wasn’t as delicate and lovely as Tilulu; she couldn’t stir a protective instinct in others. She lacked competitiveness.

Thinking of it that way, Tilulu was perhaps the lucky one.

At least Fia had accepted her letter, and the two had a pact for when she grew up. In contrast, she had nothing. She could almost imagine that even if she sent out her carefully prepared feelings, they wouldn’t be recognized. Nola could even envision what kind of words Fia would say—that helpless yet resolute tone.

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Realizing this, Nola’s nose stung. This love shouldn’t have appeared in the first place, or rather, Fia had already told her the answer long ago. Fia believed love was a mutual thing; she wouldn’t agree to be with someone out of sympathy or pity. It had always been her unilaterally liking Fia, while Fia only saw her as a friend. She had harbored too many fantasies…

Ah… it was all just my unrequited wishful thinking…

She had known this would be the result, yet she had still been full of joy, thinking that as long as she was sincere enough, Fia would accept her.

But why? Why couldn’t Fia spare her even a tiny bit of affection? Even if it was just a little, she would be satisfied. Over these past few days, she couldn’t even help but space out and think of Fia while handling official business. Just thinking of Fia would make her smile uncontrollably. And in the end, this was the result she got in return.

The pain of being rejected by Claire in the past reoccupied her mind, and this time it was even worse. Nola’s chest felt blocked by a giant boulder of sorrow. She found it increasingly difficult to breathe, and her facial features gradually distorted. Her vision was quickly blurred by a mist of tears, and low whimpers escaped her throat; she was so choked up she couldn’t speak.

To keep herself from making a sound, she covered her tightly pressed mouth with her hand, but her chest couldn’t stop twitching. Like a child, she leaned against the wall and wept out of grievance, the carefully prepared letter being dampened drop by drop by her tears.

This wasn’t a place she belonged.

Nola felt the urge to leave, but suddenly, a voice she had been dreaming of—to the point it made her instinctively stop in her tracks—rang out behind her.

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“If you don’t come out now, I’m leaving! Just how long are you going to dawdle!”

It was Fia’s voice.

I… I’ve been caught.

Nola’s shoulders jolted, and every muscle in her body tensed. For some reason, the bitterness in her heart began to recede like the tide, replaced by a mix of trepidation and the embarrassment of being unable to gracefully back out.

Her body wanted to respond to Fia, but her brain was unwilling to be so direct. She realized how pathetic she looked right now, and her subconscious felt that responding to Fia would only lead to an answer she didn’t want to know. Yet, she still couldn’t control herself from seeking a glimmer of hope. She hurriedly wiped away her tears with her sleeve and worked hard to adjust her emotions. To make herself look less wretched, she even rubbed her cheeks with her hands to make her expression look relaxed.

After hesitating for a long time, she finally managed to adjust her feelings. Feeling that she could face Fia, hope ignited in her heart once more.

Yes, that’s right. Lady Goddess said that just because others can’t do it doesn’t mean I can’t. As long as I convey my feelings sincerely, even a pathetic version of myself can be favored.

She took a deep breath. Carrying immense nervousness, she left the corner of the wall. Then, like a convict walking to the execution block, she drooped her ears and tail, moving toward Fia one small step at a time.

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Until they were face-to-face, the two of them didn’t exchange a word.

“Why do you look like you just cried?”

Fia looked puzzled. Even though Nola was slightly taller than her, Nola currently looked like a much younger sister.

Nola’s lips moved, but she couldn’t make a sound. Fia could only continue with a smile.

“You didn’t get scolded by your Lady Goddess, did you?”

Fia could certainly guess why Nola was crying, but she didn’t dare point it out directly. As it turned out, these words that completely missed the mark had an effect. Nola’s expression changed, and she pouted stiffly.

“No.”

“Then what is it?”

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Is this bastard truly stupid or just acting?

The question was so “well-asked” that Nola began to get angry. She didn’t look up at Fia, but instead turned her head away like a sulky young girl.

“Just now… Tilulu was here, wasn’t she?”

“You saw? Tilulu was here, but she’s already gone. That aside, Nola specifically asked Ruth to tell me to come over. What did you want to say?”

I wanted to say… I wanted to say something important…

Nola wanted to answer that way, but with the words at the tip of her tongue, she found it difficult to speak. Firstly, it was embarrassing, and secondly, she suddenly realized the love letter was still gripped in her hand. Moreover, because of her recent sorrow, it had unknowingly been soaked through by tears and squeezed into a wrinkled mess. She hurriedly tried to hide the letter; she couldn’t let Fia see such a shameful and disgraceful thing, otherwise, Fia would definitely think her feelings weren’t sincere enough—sending out such a piece of junk during a confession.