Volume 7, Chapter 28 – Realized Feelings

“Ahem!”

Fia made a fist and coughed loudly against her lips, putting on a show of self-importance as she adopted a dead-serious expression.

“Anastasia, could you take a step back?”

“Ah, am I too close? Does it make you uncomfortable, Your Highness?”

Yes and no, Fia answered in her heart.

From a polite standpoint, Anastasia, you are indeed making things a bit difficult for me. But from the standpoint of following my heart, it would be better if you just stayed close—or even better, pressed right up against my face. That way, I could say, “A subordinate wanting to act spoiled—it can’t be helped,” and then, with a look of feigned helplessness, openly and honestly accept that magnificent, irresistible softness.

Thinking about it, Anastasia possessed such perfect feminine charm, yet Fia had never enjoyed the wondrous sensation of rubbing her face against her. It was practically a waste of a God-given gift.

It really is a tragedy that the Eldest Princess isn’t actually eight years old!

While she complained internally, less than a tenth of a second had actually passed. Fia maintained her stern look, gazing into Anastasia’s eyes with an almost academic attitude.

“No, I’ve just thought of a way to use faith-based magic. Anastasia, could you take a step back and close your eyes?”

“All right…”

The reply was filled with confusion, but Anastasia maintained her usual trust. She hesitated for a moment, then took a step back and closed her eyes.

However, Anastasia’s slightly trembling eyelashes made Fia feel a bit uneasy. She worried that while she was staring at Anastasia’s “work of art,” Anastasia might suddenly open her eyes. She considered using a black cloth to blindfold her, like a blind girl or a sentinel, but that action was too strange and would surely arouse suspicion. Moreover, if she blindfolded a woman with a body as perfect as Anastasia’s, the sense of taboo and eroticism would definitely skyrocket. Fia didn’t think she could stop herself from fantasizing.

It would definitely turn out like when she used Claire as an object of faith—she’d get lost in thought and be unable to stay calm. Then it wouldn’t be an attempt at faith magic; she’d just be using Anastasia as an “accompaniment” for her fantasies.

But Anastasia suddenly opening her eyes was also a problem. If she were caught, she would be utterly humiliated and lose all her dignity as a superior.

How can I avoid that…

Fia thought for a moment, and then a lightbulb went off above her small head.

As long as she used [Cloud Moon of the Illusory Sea] to disguise herself as a prim and proper person praying with eyes closed, she wouldn’t have to worry about Anastasia opening hers.

Magic really is convenient.

The thought was immediately put into action. Fia calculated the values needed for the disguise in her mind, activated [Cloud Moon of the Illusory Sea], and then allowed her gaze—filled with both anticipation and a sense of guilt—to fall upon Anastasia.

Starting from the purple hair ornament on her golden hair, moving down to the bridge of her nose that looked like translucent white jade, then to her charming chest, and finally to her long, well-proportioned legs extending from beneath her lavender dress. The gold thread on the sides of her white over-the-knee socks traced a beautiful curve. Put together, the girl before her felt somewhat unreal, as if she were a pure, untainted elf born out of the chaos of the mortal world.

I didn’t notice it before, but Anastasia is quite the maiden after all…

When she actually had the chance to observe, Fia found herself not focusing solely on Anastasia’s perfect chest. Despite being on the World Tree Continent for so long, she had never looked at Anastasia quite like this. Previously, either Anastasia was too shy and turned away, or Fia refrained from staring out of politeness.

Silence filled the research room, where only the two of them remained.

Was it because the current Anastasia had changed her clothes and looked more like a maiden, or had her own mindset shifted? Had Anastasia changed from a “subordinate” to a “maiden” in her heart?

The thought popped into Fia’s head out of nowhere. She had felt many times that if she hadn’t met Claire first, she would have already lost her heart to Anastasia. For a time, she had even thought that if Claire accepted Anastasia, and she accepted her as well, maybe things would be better. The truth was, back in the forest of the Weeping Mountains, she had already realized her feelings. Back then, the cat ring was likely meant to be something more than just an apology for an excessive joke.

But whether it was guilt over being unable to accept Anastasia’s feelings or a subconscious affection for her, the two were tangled together and difficult to untangle.

If Anastasia’s soul hadn’t undergone this change, she would surely be agonizing over the matter of a second Royal Consort right now—whether or not to accept Nola’s feelings.

Even if I were to accept someone, I should accept Anastasia first.

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It felt as if another soul existed in her heart, Fia thought once more.

It wasn’t for reasons like sympathy or gratitude, but a baseless, heartfelt emotion.

She felt her skin tighten as a thought she had once vaguely touched upon, but hadn’t dared to explore deeply, surfaced in her mind.

Just as Anastasia held feelings for her that went beyond master and servant, she too had harbored fantasies about Anastasia that she shouldn’t have… though saying she “shouldn’t” was debatable. In this chaotic world, even fantasies that shouldn’t exist were common knowledge.

Anastasia was a girl unaware of her own charm, always self-deprecating because of the unfair treatment she had received as a child.

It’s really unfair.

Anastasia could clearly stand on a higher, brighter stage, yet she chose to stay by Fia’s side, making Fia the very meaning of her existence.

In that case, wasn’t she—who had been pretending not to see Anastasia’s feelings all this time—an even more wicked person? If she truly wanted to be better to Anastasia, she should accept her heart and let her find happiness.

Fia’s gaze grew complex as she looked at Anastasia’s face with its soft curves. She could sense Anastasia’s thoughts about her, yet actually putting it into practice wasn’t that simple. Anastasia would occasionally give off an aura of intentionally distancing herself. It wasn’t that she disliked Fia, but simply a form of detachment.

It was likely what the current Anastasia had mentioned: she didn’t want to ruin Fia’s relationship with Claire. Or perhaps Anastasia was too self-deprecating, thinking that getting closer would backfire and face opposition from others, eventually stripping her of the right to stay by Fia’s side. So, she chose to just watch from a distance.

But things are different now.

Should I change?

Fia had a premonition that if she wanted to change her outlook, now was the chance. By taking this step, she could finally take actual action in “changing herself.”

But the Anastasia before her wasn’t the original one. Although she had said that no matter which Anastasia it was, they were both her Anastasia, when it actually came to this point, she couldn’t help but feel they were different.

Using the current Anastasia as an experiment… if it succeeded, she could smoothly exchange feelings with Anastasia once the original one returned, and even if it failed, there would be no punishment… she couldn’t bring herself to do that. That would be treating the current Anastasia as a test subject. The current Anastasia was also Anastasia; she had to take these feelings seriously.

In that case, should she treat the current Anastasia as the real one? And once the original one woke up, she would just accept both?

That felt a bit too casual, too indulgent.

Dammit, I’ve already acknowledged the idea of a second Royal Consort, so what does it matter if there are two!

Fia wanted to shout that, but the thought of facing everyone else made her hesitate.

Why do I run into these kinds of difficult problems?

Whatever. The one-month deadline wasn’t here yet; she’d cross that bridge when she came to it.

For now, she should focus on faith magic.

After much thought, Fia had cooled down from her earlier longing for an older sister. Even as she gazed at the Anastasia in her lavender dress, her heart was filled only with an indescribable complexity, with no more curiosity or eagerness.

Devout faith, devout faith… How am I supposed to have devout faith like this? One can’t have devout faith in someone they love, can they? If one harbors love for a god, then the original faith becomes love; that can’t be called Faith Power.

Though the air was silent, Fia felt her heart as tangled as a summer night’s storm.

If there really is an all-knowing and all-powerful god, please make this world simpler. At least stop throwing these difficult problems at me.

Her expression filled with distress, Fia pressed her hands together and lightly closed her eyes. She didn’t use Anastasia as an object of faith; instead, like a lost lamb uncertain of the path ahead, she sincerely hoped the world wouldn’t be so complicated.

After several heartbeats of silence, Anastasia’s timid voice rang out.

“Your Highness, is it all right now?”

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Fia opened her eyes and let out a soft sigh. To prevent Anastasia from noticing her expression, she turned around and pretended to tinker with the mana furnace.

“It’s fine. You can open your eyes now, Anastasia.”

“Yes. Did you find a way to use faith magic?”

“I didn’t.”

But she had found something more important. She had more or less figured out how to treat the Anastasia before her.

Fia’s lips curled into a smile as she changed the subject.

“If you’re fine, go back and rest. I’ll head up once I’ve prepared the mana liquid.”

“But you ordered me to stay within your sight at all times.”

“True. It would be troublesome if those Chaos creatures appeared again. Then find a place to sit for a while, Anastasia. Don’t just stand there.”

As she spoke, Fia thought it was rare for Anastasia to talk back to her. Although she had ordered her not to leave her sight, the old Anastasia would never have used that as a reason to argue. She would have simply obeyed or waited by the door.

It felt fresh.

“You look very happy.”

“Hmm? What makes you say that?”

“Well…”

Watching Fia’s back, Anastasia lightly scratched her cheek with her index finger, looking troubled.

“I don’t know the reason myself. I just feel like you’re very happy.”

“It’s probably because you suddenly talked back to me using my own order. It felt fresh, so I’m happy. You wouldn’t have done that before.”

“Uh… it must be because I’ve been away from the Royal Castle for too long and forgotten the rules. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“No, this is good. I’ve been trying to correct your habit of self-deprecation. Now that you’ve become more lively and individualistic, it’s a good thing.”

“So, in your eyes, I’ve made progress? Then… between me and the original Anastasia, who do you like more?”

Fia’s movements slowed for a few beats. She wasn’t agonizing—she had already done that—but the meaning behind Anastasia’s words made her hesitate. If she wasn’t joking, this was a topic for lovers.

Yet, she didn’t feel uncomfortable.

Fia answered in a feigned joking tone.

“I like both.”

“Ugh.”

Anastasia was definitely not satisfied.

Fia knew it without even looking back.

However, to her surprise, the voice that came from behind was full of joy.

“I… I didn’t think I was that important to you… even though I’m just an outsider.”

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“Hah?” Fia raised an eyebrow and turned around. “I just finished praising you for not being self-deprecating, and now you’re contradicting me. Didn’t I say? You’re just as important as the Anastasia here. You are both Anastasia.”

“But the Anastasia here has been with you longer. You should like her more. Otherwise, if she knew you treated a latecomer like me the same as her, wouldn’t it seem like you’re looking down on her?”

With her right hand pressed against her chest, Anastasia’s right arm sank into the deep valley of her cleavage. She leaned forward slightly, her beautiful face full of worry.

“So, what you’re saying is that I should look down on you?”

“That—” Anastasia’s breath hitched, and her expression gradually turned despondent. “Yes… you should do that.”

“Are you an idiot?”

Both annoyed and amused, Fia set down her tools. With a sudden burst of her butterfly light wings, she floated up and patted Anastasia on the head as if she were scolding her.

However, this only caused Anastasia to bow her head deeper, murmuring in a low voice as if she had been wronged.

“Treating me as importantly as her is being unfair to both… If I were you, I wouldn’t be here researching magic. I’d be taking this fake Anastasia to the frozen lands without a moment’s rest to make her fight dragons so the real one could come back sooner.”

“Then let me ask you: if the Dofilia from your world appeared here, who would be more important—me or her?”

Maintaining her floating posture, Fia put her hands on her hips irritably.

“You’ve asked that before…”

“And back then, your answer was that both were equally important, wasn’t it? But to you, I’m just an Eldest Princess you’ve known for a few days, while the Dofilia over there is a master you’ve known for decades. Don’t you think that’s unfair to the Dofilia over there?”

“Ugh…”

Anastasia bit her lip, not knowing how to answer. Just as in Fia’s eyes, any Anastasia was Anastasia, in her eyes, Dofilia was Dofilia.

Fia shrugged.

“See? That’s how it is. You think I should be unfair, but from my position, I don’t know how to choose. That being said, once Anastasia returns, I’ll explain it to her properly. You’ll have to work hard to earn her forgiveness then too.”

Will that day really come?

Anastasia looked away. If Dofi found out that the “strengthening connection” was a lie, her opinion of her would be vastly different.

Better not to continue this topic.

“Speaking of which, what did you mean when you said you ‘thought of a way to use faith magic’? Are you believing in the Elf God?”

“No… you just need to know that I failed.”

Out of guilt, Fia’s eyes darted across the floor, and her butterfly wings fluttered a bit faster.

Not knowing the reason, Anastasia offered a further suggestion.

“Could it be because you didn’t chant the Holy Phrases? That might be why the magic failed.”

“Holy Phrases? What are those?”

“You can think of them like incantations in elemental magic. Incantations are a means to help a magic caster release magic, just as you can cast without them. As long as the relationship with the elements is close enough, a caster can use magic without chanting. Holy Phrases are similar, though their importance in faith magic is lower. Most users of faith-based magic only need to praise their god in their hearts, and the god will respond with a miracle.”

It sounds more like self-suggestion or self-hypnosis—constantly applying suggestions in the heart to strengthen one’s belief.

“I haven’t used any ‘Holy Phrases,’ but that sort of thing sounds unreliable.”

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“There’s no harm in trying. As long as you praise the god in your heart, the god will hear your voice.”

“Since you say so… try closing your eyes again, Anastasia.”

“All right.”

Anastasia closed her eyes, and Fia repeated her previous actions, banishing distracting thoughts and imagining Anastasia’s form—specifically, Anastasia’s art-like chest.

Then, following Anastasia’s advice, she silently chanted about Anastasia’s artwork… no, this was too embarrassing.

Even silently, Fia couldn’t bring herself to say it, or rather, she didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t very well think of filthy words like “Banzai for big sister’s breasts!” in her heart. That wasn’t a prayer; it was just being a pervert. If she could get a response from the world like that, she might as well start walking on her hands.

Since chanting the so-called Holy Phrases was just self-suggestion, as long as she could strengthen her internal “devotion” and profoundly experience the benefits of faith, it should have the same effect.

The only thing was, how could she profoundly experience the benefits of faith? She wasn’t believing in a god, but in Anastasia’s almost art-like feminine charm. By that logic, wouldn’t she have to experience it for herself to feel the benefits?

…Should I give them a touch?

Suddenly, an extremely impolite thought surfaced in Fia’s mind. Her eyes instinctively aimed for Anastasia’s full chest, where the deep valley once again drew her gaze like a black hole.

With clothes in between, a small touch shouldn’t be noticed, right?

No, wait. She seemed to have forgotten something very important.

Fia’s breath hitched.

She had been so focused on offering her prayer that she had forgotten to ask for a miracle—namely, [Sacred Relic Analysis]. It was like chanting an incantation at the top of her lungs but failing to output any mana. Completely stupid.

She had definitely been mesmerized by Anastasia’s vortex and forgotten… What a terrifying charm.

“Ahem!”

Fia coughed heavily in her heart to steady herself. While she sincerely imagined the sensation of her cheek pressed against Anastasia’s chest, she simultaneously requested the information for [Sacred Relic Analysis] from the rules of the world. Honestly, Fia didn’t think it would work, but faith-based magic was a very metaphysical existence, so she could only try.

After about half a minute, Fia suddenly felt a brightness before her eyes, and a small amount of information flooded her brain. It was the data for [Sacred Relic Analysis], though it was only a small, incomplete fragment.

Strange…

She opened her eyes, and an extremely blinding golden light filled her vision. She couldn’t help but block her eyes with her hand, struggling for a while before she could look directly at what was in front of her.

Then, Fia froze in place.

The light was coming from Anastasia’s cleavage.

Almost the entire room was filled with the golden light from Anastasia’s chest.

Hey, what is this? This is way too much, isn’t it?

In an instant, Fia’s eyes and mouth opened wider than they ever had before.

Translator Note

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