Volume 7, Chapter 38 – A Heart Full of Guilt

The alleyway drifted with a faint, lingering stench.

Fia, floating through the passage with flight magic, couldn’t stop herself from frowning. Calling this an “alley” was an overstatement; since most people in the land of exile considered a makeshift shack a home, even stone houses were rare. Naturally, there were no high walls to form a proper alleyway. Instead, it was more like a rugged path lined with grime-stained jars and bottles, while the ground was streaked with dark stains from years of wastewater. The air itself was contaminated, thick with a nauseating mix of spoiled food and open sewers.

She didn’t want to set foot on the ground at all.

As she advanced along the lightless path, Fia’s brow furrowed. The shouts of soldiers in the distance had caused people to poke their heads out of their tents to see what was happening. However, as soon as she passed by, their gazes shifted from the distance to her. Much like the uncivilized beastmen of Cold Night, these residents either looked at her with blatant greed or lowered their heads to whisper to one another, seemingly plotting something. It was deeply unpleasant.

The soldiers of Baron Yarua called them “beasts” for a reason; the vast majority of people in the land of exile were irredeemable scoundrels.

Had she not been hovering in the air, clearly marking herself as a magic caster, these people likely would have moved in to rob her. A young noble lady traveling alone through such an alley would look like a prize sheep from any angle.

That would have been fine, too; it would have given her an excuse to burn them all to the ground.

Fia felt no mercy for criminals. In an era where the universe was tending toward desolation, the existence of such people was nothing more than a waste of energy.

Where on earth did Anastasia go?

Increasing her speed, Fia frowned slightly. If those withered arms hadn’t appeared and made such a commotion, she would have started to suspect that Anastasia had been attacked.

She wished she had a wide-range reconnaissance spell, but unfortunately, she had none. To make matters worse, there were many obstacles obscuring her line of sight in the land of exile, with buildings scattered in a chaotic, crooked mess. Flying high actually made it harder to observe the ground.

Complaining internally, Fia stopped at a crossroads. Continuing forward would lead to the main road where the soldiers were, but turning into the right-hand corner led into another narrow alley. On the left side of this alley was a high wall, with the faint glow of candlelight flickering through the windows. The deep blue banner hanging above told Fia that this was the soldiers’ quarters. The soldiers in the land of exile had no duty to protect the criminals; their only responsibility was to rush to the Barony of Yarua to deliver a message if they spotted an army of the undead.

Anastasia surely wouldn’t be in there, right?

The alley was pitch black. Fia couldn’t fathom why Anastasia would enter such a place, but it was even more unlikely that she would head for the main road crawling with soldiers. After a moment’s thought, she decided to go in. Because the alley was a passage sandwiched between a high wall and tents, and the exiles didn’t dare throw filth against the soldiers’ quarters, it was much cleaner than other areas. However, it was exceptionally narrow; if two people met, their shoulders would touch even if they turned sideways to pass.

As she entered the alley, Fia heard the rustling sounds of numerous small animals scurrying about.

They were likely rats.

Did Anastasia really survive in this kind of environment…?

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Her mind wandering to irrelevant questions, Fia quickly reached the end of the path. Then, her magnificent red pupils widened slightly.

The end of the passage didn’t lead to new shacks or tents, but rather to a deserted courtyard bathed in moonlight. The yard, enclosed by a fence, was littered with broken tiles and rotting wood. The small house within was dilapidated, its door having been hauled away. The ground was covered in a thick layer of dust, broken tiles, wooden buckets, and basins—all of which told Fia that the owner had been gone for a long time. For some reason, however, the place hadn’t been occupied by exiles.

Fia cast a glance at the wooden sign hanging on the fence, which bore the words: “Frontier Defense.”

Likely because this place belonged to the frontier soldiers, the exiles hadn’t dared to usurp it.

Anastasia was standing right there in the courtyard.

The clear moonlight made no distinction between the land of exile and Blossom, gently draping itself over Anastasia’s well-proportioned, delicate body. It covered her in a tranquil aura. Paired with her light purple dress and flowing golden hair, Anastasia looked less like a servant and more like a princess from a foreign land, her silhouette steeped in deep sorrow and melancholy.

But then, Anastasia wouldn’t be missing her hometown, would she?

Only at times like this did the feeling that Anastasia was not “Anastasia” become exceptionally strong; they were the same person, yet they were not. The current Anastasia not only had forget-me-not flower decorations on her dress but even wore them in her golden hair. Fia had seen these flowers, which sat somewhere between purple and blue, and had heard the meaning of forget-me-nots in many stories circulating on the World Tree Continent—they symbolized eternal love, though it was a sentiment deeper and more profound than mere light, flashy romance.

Deactivating her flight magic, Fia stepped into the courtyard. The sound of dry branches snapping underfoot immediately caught Anastasia’s attention. She turned her head, her beautiful face filled with surprise.

“Your Highness? Why are you here?”

“Am I not allowed to come?”

Fia intentionally spoke with a touch of mischief.

Anastasia’s expression froze for a moment, and she lowered her head in embarrassment.

“Of course you are allowed to come. I was just curious how Your Highness managed to find this place…”

“I came back to find you were nowhere to be seen, so I came out to look. Fortunately, the land of exile is only so big,” Fia said with a shrug, walking up to stand beside Anastasia. “I told you that you must stay within my sight, yet you still came out alone. It’s a good thing Chaos can’t monitor our every move; otherwise, if they suddenly popped up, how did you plan to handle it?”

“I’m sorry…”

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“I’m not asking for an apology, just don’t do it again. I’m only thinking of your safety. So, why did you come here? You look so preoccupied; I’ve never seen this expression on your face before.”

“Well… this was my home. In my world, I would occasionally come back to visit. But ever since you were plotted against in the Holy Kingdom of Milcandis, I never returned. By then, the land of exile had been swallowed by Chaos.”

Anastasia looked around. The scene here was no different from the home in her memories; even the placement of the items was the same, giving her the illusion that time had wound back and she had returned to the past.

“Your home in the land of exile, huh… Before you fell into your slumber, I asked you if I could see your home here, but your body was acting up then, so we missed the chance. I didn’t expect to see it now by sheer accident. Ah, the ‘other you’ here—I don’t mean to belittle you; it’s just an easier way to distinguish between you two. In my eyes, there is no difference in rank between you.”

“Then does this count as a transgression on my part? Putting myself in her shoes, if I knew another version of me had brought you to our home, I would certainly be unhappy.”

“Unhappy? Why unhappy?”

Because the chance to bring Her Highness home had been snatched away. Although it could be made up for later, the freshness of the second time would never be as strong as the first.

However, that reason was too petty, and Anastasia was afraid of being teased by Fia. She shifted the subject, looking around for a place to sit. Unfortunately, the stools here had long been hauled away by exiles, and the stone blocks and steps were covered in dust and filth. Anastasia didn’t feel it was a matter that could be solved with a simple dusting. Finding nothing, she grew embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, Your Highness. I should invite you inside to sit and rest, but this place is in such a state of ruin… there are likely rats and cobwebs everywhere inside…”

“It’s fine. We aren’t staying the night anyway. Though, Anastasia, I’m surprised you came back every few years. I thought you would hate this place and never return after leaving.”

As she spoke, Fia used [Telekinesis] to bring over a broom from the corner. Although the courtyard was covered in dust, the existence of these items was a sign of past life. As for the discarded wine bottles scattered about, they were likely the work of Clark.

“How should I put it… though this place brought me much suffering, it also taught me many things. No, the teaching was secondary; the most important thing is that I was saved by you here. This is the place where I first met you. Even today, I remember it—when I was lying on the bed unable to move, feeling like I was going to freeze to death in the winter, and you suddenly opened the door and descended before me.”

“At that time, you asked me if I wanted to leave with you. I didn’t understand anything then; I just instinctively agreed. But afterward, every time I think back, I feel that you were like the sun—warm and brilliant. Even today, though you have lost your memories, you are still like the sun…”

It wasn’t just that she had saved her back then; it was that her heart toward the existence of “Anastasia” was without a trace of falsehood. It drew her in at every moment, and even if it might burn her eyes, she couldn’t help but look up, wanting only to draw a little closer.

“That’s all in the past…”

Fia offered some comfort.

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She had no memories of the past at all.

Anastasia gave a helpless smile.

“No, it has been carved into my soul; I will never forget it. Fortunately, my father was the way he was; otherwise, I might not have had the chance to accept your invitation. Looking back, it was truly a stroke of luck.”

“I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this to you, but back then, my father was recruited by the frontier army because he had some strength and was hired cheaply as a helper. That’s how I was able to have my own home. However, my father was immersed in hatred and numbed himself with alcohol all day, completely ignoring my life. He was just as irresponsible as your mother. Fortunately, your help in this world allowed those three people to be freed from their hatred. In that sense, your loss of memory might not be a bad thing… you’ve become more like an elf, and it has lessened the blemish on His Majesty.”

“My mother? Isn’t she Anastasia’s mother as well? Though I don’t particularly like Veronica, even if she was actually a victim herself. Sigh, better not to bring up old stories; let’s get back to the main topic. You’ve had a preoccupied expression all evening; is something on your mind?”

“…”

Anastasia fell silent instantly. She hadn’t come here to see her former home; she had simply wandered here unconsciously while walking. She was uneasy about deceiving Fia; her actions were no different from murder. If something happened to that Anastasia, she would never be able to hold her head up again.

Even if the purpose of her lie was to share Fia’s burden and make her less anxious, it was still an unforgivable act of violence. She had been saved by Fia, yet she had betrayed her trust; the mere thought of it was revolting.

She was thinking about how to find a way out of this predicament.

Anastasia looked at Fia’s face. The latter was looking up at her, her flickering red eyes full of confusion—they were pure eyes, devoid of suspicion.

It’s nothing.

Anastasia desperately wanted to say those words, yet they felt as heavy as a thousand pounds, pressing on her chest and making it hard to breathe.

Confessing would not only make her Princess loathe her, but it would also plunge her back into that incredibly frantic state that terrified those around her. She would go to any lengths to find Anastasia, even unconsciously hurting those close to her. Precisely because she was Anastasia, she could understand the other Anastasia. If there were a choice, her other self would never want to see this happen.

She could neither confess nor simply bluff her way through; the only remaining option was to let the lie grow bigger and bigger until it could no longer be maintained and exploded violently.

Anastasia swallowed hard with difficulty.

“I was thinking… shouldn’t we prepare for both possibilities? The strengthening of the connection I felt might not mean the other me is inside this body. If Your Highness allows me to confirm it with that thing called the World Tree Key, that would be fine, but you took it away… In any case, I thought preparing for both would definitely be better than our current situation.”

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“But you haven’t done anything since coming to this world, yet you suddenly felt the connection grow stronger. Doesn’t that mean the Anastasia of this world is slumbering within your body?”

Since Anastasia looked like she wanted to say more, Fia had no choice but to continue explaining.

“Besides, once I master [Sacred Relic Analysis], I can create a vessel capable of holding your soul. When the time comes, I’ll transfer your soul to the vessel. Even if the Anastasia who was originally in this body doesn’t wake up immediately, it’ll only be a matter of time. That counts as preparing for both possibilities.”

“But what if I’m not in the body—”

The anxious words had just left her mouth when Anastasia stopped herself. She realized she had misspoken, and her expression turned terrible. Her heart felt as if it were being squeezed, leaving her on edge.

Fia’s brow furrowed.

“If you aren’t in the body, then how do you explain the connection strengthening for no reason? You’re being too pessimistic, Anastasia. In this situation, most people would be thinking about how to quietly get rid of their other self rather than worrying about their safety. Though, I’m not worried about you thinking that way—after all, you’re Anastasia.”

Please don’t say things like that…

Anastasia bit her lip tightly. The more Fia spoke this way, the stronger the guilt in her heart became. Fortunately, Fia didn’t dwell on the topic. Just as Anastasia held absolute trust in Fia, Fia did not doubt Anastasia.

“Alright, let’s head back. You’ve killed a Skeleton Whale; after a good night’s sleep, your mana should increase. Once we’re back in Blossom, you’ll have to consult Erin Slate and have her teach you swordsmanship. From now on, you’ll practice swordsmanship in the morning and hunt the undead in the land of exile in the evening. You can spend the rest of your time doing whatever interests you.”

Fia reached her hand out toward Anastasia, her palm-up gesture signaling for Anastasia to place her hand upon it.

Anastasia hesitated for a moment before finally extending her right hand. However, just as Anastasia’s fingertips were about to touch Fia’s palm, a confused hum suddenly escaped Fia’s lips. She stared at Anastasia’s right ring finger; something that should have been there was missing.

“Hmm? Anastasia, where is the ring that was here?”