Volume 7, Chapter 51 – The Courageous Heart

“Do you actually know that the me of this world are in love with you? Not the kind between master and servant, but the… the lovers kind.”

Anastasia’s question made Fia’s breath catch for a moment. It wasn’t out of shyness or embarrassment, but from considering what would happen once the words were spoken.

Anastasia was asking about the original Anastasia, not the current one. From Fia’s perspective, this felt like discussing another person with Anastasia. It was a little embarrassing, but not overwhelmingly so.

However, if she admitted to knowing, this Anastasia would surely have some extra thoughts. In truth, Fia not only knew that Anastasia from this side harbored feelings for her, but also knew the current Anastasia liked her. And, to be honest, she also felt goodwill towards the one before her. It must be said that the Anastasia before her and the original were not different; strictly speaking, her affection wasn’t for one specific Anastasia, but for anyone who could be called ‘Anastasia.’

She first glanced at Anastasia’s cautious expression, then turned away, shrugging her shoulders.

“Does Anastasia want to hear the truth or a lie?”

“The truth, of course.”

Just knew she’d answer that way. Fia sighed heavily.

“Haa… Yes, I do know that Anastasia from this side has special feelings for me.. That’s why I said earlier that if she knew we were pretending to be lovers, she’d be annoyed and disappointed—annoyed that her other self got ahead, yet melancholy about missing the chance herself.”

Anastasia must also know the feelings the other Anastasia harbored, which was why she understood why Fia said annoyed and disappointed, instead of asking why she would feel that way—Fia had meant to say that, but the words remained unspoken.

Asking that would lead to another problem: Anastasia hadn’t inherited the other’s memories, so how did she know what the other was thinking? Unless… She, too, was secretly in love with her, just like her counterpart.

“Knowing the other’s feelings yet pretending not to see… Your Highness is really wicked…”

Anastasia wasn’t looking at Fia. She gazed down at the weeds on the ground, her deep blue eyes exceptionally profound, making it momentarily difficult to discern her thoughts.

“I don’t think I’m wicked.”

Fia pursed her lips.

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“At least, I don’t think Anastasia would consider me wicked. The reason is the same as what I told Nola: I think Anastasia is a gentle and considerate, beautiful and tolerant woman—you could even say she’s my ideal type, my ‘dream girl.’ But she came too late, and I haven’t been able to change my own perspective yet.”

“If, without changing my views, I ran to reject her upon sensing her feelings, it would only cause her melancholy and sadness, achieving nothing else. Rather than that, it’s better to pretend not to see. That way, Anastasia doesn’t get hurt, I don’t feel guilty, and everyone is fine.”

“I think Anastasia probably also refrained from expressing her feelings because of Claire’s presence. Of course, it’s more likely she worried about Yelido and other nobles opposing it. She always belittles herself. If her actions would cause me trouble, she would never carry them out, even if it harmed her own interests. It was the same with not letting me remove the Sinner’s Mark from her face, and with always being timid and subservient, not daring to meet the eyes of other nobles in the Royal Castle. Perhaps she herself realized that rather than speaking up and getting an unwanted result, or getting a result that would hurt everyone, it was better not to say anything. Tch. Looking at it this way, I really am a scumbag.”

By the end, Fia’s gaze also lowered. She maintained her posture, leaning back on her hands, swinging her legs slightly to hide her awkwardness.

“Honestly, if I could just happily say, ‘Ah, let’s all be together~’, all the troubles would be solved. The obstacles Anastasia worries about are, in reality, just a matter of my saying the word.”

“But if you could do that so easily, you would have acted on the thought already, wouldn’t you? Perhaps for the other me, the current situation is already very satisfying. You’ve not only become able to express your feelings but also always strive to help the other me overcome her self-deprecation. If I were this Anastasia, my heart would be filled with joy, feeling that as long as you have this sentiment, it is already enough.”

“But saying this… does it seem like I’m belittling the other me? Making her appear greedy while I am easily satisfied?”

Anastasia smiled faintly. Her gentle and pretty smile made Fia stare for a moment before awkwardly withdrawing her gaze.

“You are the same person. You understand each other’s thoughts perfectly. Perhaps the current Anastasia understands her even better than she understands herself. So of course, you have the right to say that. Compared to you two, I understand myself the least. Merely inheriting the body, I forgot all learned magic, lost every memory, and can only guess what my past self was like based on others’ descriptions. The result? Their impression of me is only ‘not fond of talking, cold personality, clever and far-sighted.’ Beyond that, there are no more concrete examples.”

“In the end, I can’t even be sure if I am still me . Sometimes I feel like I’m just an outsider summoned by the Crown Princess to solve problems. As you know, Anastasia, in your world, ‘I’ died, and the world was consumed by Chaos. In this world, ‘I’ was resurrected, so Chaos failed to swallow it.”

“Compared to my former self, apart from memory and personality, the biggest difference lies in power. Plus, the past me left what seems like a last testament addressed to me. From any angle, I look like just a third party called here to deal with Chaos.”

As she spoke, Fia reached out her hand. A flame made a “poof” sound in her palm, then a fireball half a person tall rose up. Even with the simplest magic like [Fairy Fire], her fireball was much larger than others’.

She stared at the dancing tip of the flame, her gaze seemingly traveling back to ancient times.

Until Anastasia’s hand gently rested on her snow-white wrist.

Leaning closer, Anastasia’s vivid deep blue eyes gazed at Fia’s face.

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“I may not have been by your side since childhood like Maggie, but I am surely the most qualified to judge whether you are still you. Your Highness has indeed lost your memory, but your past living habits and your heart that is unwilling to see the weak bullied have not changed. The past you seemed emotionless because of that irresponsible woman, Veronica. You never learned how to express your feelings. Now, having lost your memory and starting over, you know how to voice your thoughts. Ordinary people might think you are vastly different from your past self, but this subordinate can affirm that you are still you. What you are doing now for the children in the Land of Exile is just like when you took me and Lady Erin Slate from the Land of Exile long ago.”

No… that’s not quite the same, is it?

Fia questioned in her heart but didn’t voice it.

Many of the Twilight Flower’s past actions were anything but honorable. In Fia’s view, the Crown Princess taking Erin Slate back was purely because Erin had the Darkborn illness and was seen as useful. In fact, the Crown Princess’s methods in many matters lacked humanity; she was someone who extremely prioritized results over process, leaning toward extreme rationality over others’ feelings.

The only part that didn’t fit in the whole affair was Anastasia. If it was about loyalty and strength, the Twilight Flower had plenty who could substitute. Yet the Crown Princess didn’t do that. She even hid the Twilight Flower’s existence from Anastasia, adding trouble to her life.

Perhaps the Crown Princess truly did have feelings, just not many. And those few feelings happened to be allotted to Anastasia, which was why Anastasia thought the Crown Princess was kind.

But then again, why were those feelings not directed towards her father Yelido, who was good, even doting, to her, but towards a half-sister she had never met? It was truly puzzling. Normally, the Crown Princess should have felt jealousy— Why did mother only treat Anastasia well, not me? —leading to hostility towards Anastasia.

The world is complicated.

Unsure what expression to wear, Fia dispelled the [Fairy Fire] in her hand and sighed softly.

“The Anastasia from this side told me the same thing. Frankly, if she hadn’t held me back back then, I might have become a traveler on the World Tree continent by now. Like I told you when we first met, becoming an adventurer or a student at a magic academy.”

“You seem to yearn for that kind of life. Did the other me do something wrong, then?”

This was, of course, just teasing. The evidence was the mocking smile curling Anastasia’s lips.

Fia very much wanted to pinch Anastasia’s cheek, but Anastasia wasn’t Liti. Doing that would fill the air with ambiguity. She could only hold back.

“I do find those storybook plots very beautiful. But the path I’m on now is even more enviable. If I wanted, I could become an adventurer anytime. But an adventurer identity cannot anytime, anywhere become an Elven Princess. Besides, with a great enemy looming, compared to leisurely traveling and dealing with threats only after they emerge, I prefer to plan ahead and take the initiative before the enemy can react.”

“You say that, but you haven’t acted on it, have you?”

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“Really? I just brought people near The Abyss to build the [Confessional Hall] and tested [Blessing of the Mother Goddess].”

“Hmm… I don’t mean you’re inactive in that regard. I mean… another matter.”

As she said this, Anastasia’s cheeks flushed. The hand resting on Fia’s wrist withdrew. Her slightly hunched shoulders and fidgeting legs pressed together made it clear she was deeply embarrassed.

Matters that would make Anastasia embarrassed, and that I haven’t acted on… What fits both conditions?

Fia’s mind worked rapidly, instantly landing on the issue.

Only a handful of things were her current top priorities. Among those, what would make Anastasia blush? Besides pretending to be lovers, there was only learning Faith magic. Considering pretending to be lovers was a broad event without a fixed goal, while learning Faith magic required… looking at big sister’s chest… Which one it was became extremely obvious.

However, that was too difficult for her. Fia chose to play dumb.

She sat up straight, eyes fixed on the field ahead, pretending to be all serious.

“Another matter? What do you mean, Anastasia?”

“I mean lea… learning Faith magic. Although Your Highness said it would take less than five days to learn, after mastering it, you still need to try and create the vessel, right? That will surely take more than five days. I… I want the other me to return sooner. It’s too embarrassing to keep occupying her body. We should… accelerate the learning progress…”

No, Anastasia, this is definitely an excuse.

Fia internally shouted. Anastasia’s true thoughts were written all over her face. She wanted this not out of embarrassment for using the other’s body, but simply to close the distance between them. At worst—though this might be judging a noble heart with a petty mind—it might also be to see Fia’s embarrassed, blushing expression.

And besides, how exactly was one supposed to increase the learning progress of Faith magic? Anastasia closing her eyes while Fia stared at her? They could do that normally or even while sleeping. Moreover, even without looking at Anastasia, Fia could recall things perfectly with her photographic memory. [Sacred Relic Analysis] was already one-third learned; the remaining two-thirds might only take a day or two. The five days she mentioned was the worst -case scenario.

Fia’s expression stiffened. Her right hand formed a fist held to her mouth.

“Ahem. Learning Faith magic is my business, Anastasia. No need to worry.”

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“But I already know I can help Your Highness. You’re doing something that could affect your reputation just to keep me here. How can I throw all the trouble at you and just sit back and enjoy the results?”

Anastasia, your excuse is too clumsy!

Unfortunately, Anastasia couldn’t hear Fia’s thoughts. Not only that, she gradually moved her body closer to Fia, until Fia could smell the scent of violets from her golden hair. Since any closer would mean their bodies touching, Fia hastily threw out the question she’d thought of from the start.

“So how does Anastasia plan to increase the learning progress?”

“Well… that night, Lady Claire said… if just looking could help understand faith…”

As she spoke, Anastasia held up Fia’s left hand. Compared to Anastasia’s hand, Fia’s seemed exceptionally petite, so tender it felt as if it would break with a gentle squeeze. Anastasia’s hands enveloped Fia’s and gradually guided it towards her own prominent chest. In her deep blue eyes, there was more courage than shyness now.

“If just looking can help understand Faith magic… then directly touching should allow understanding more… At the very least, the learning progress must be faster than just looking…”

So that’s her move.

Fia’s already rigid body stiffened further. She wanted to withdraw her hand from Anastasia’s grasp or shift away, but she feared hurting Anastasia’s feelings. Plus, the warm and pleasant fragrance drifting from Anastasia now and then left her in a dilemma. She felt her thoughts becoming a bit disordered.

It’s all Claire’s fault! How could she make such a joke in front of Anastasia? Anastasia is the type to take jokes seriously!

No, wait. Given Claire’s occasionally mischievous personality, she might have anticipated Anastasia taking it seriously and deliberately said it.

How cunning!

Though… It also benefited her.