Volume 7, Chapter 53 – Distant Time

“A-Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, just a bit exhausted.”

And I’m nearly fully recovered anyway.

Fia added in her mind. The body’s recovery ability was astonishingly strong.

The current position with Anastasia made her unable to finish her sentence.

Anastasia’s arms supported Fia under her armpits, making half of Fia’s body lean against—or more precisely, sit on —Anastasia’s thigh.

Although she always carried herself like a leader, she sometimes also yearned to be affectionate with an older sister, especially a mature one like Anastasia.

“Exhausted? Even magic capable of creating islands didn’t leave you weakened, but using magic on me did… Is… is my soul strange?”

“No, it has nothing to do with you.”

More importantly, shouldn’t Anastasia let go of me now?

Feeling awkward sitting on Anastasia’s lap, Fia turned her head to look. But Anastasia clearly had no intention of releasing her. She tightened her grip on Fia’s wrist, pressing on with a stubborn expression.

“Where are you going?”

“Back to Blossom, of course.”

“You can barely stand steadily. How can you use that long-distance teleportation magic? You should rest first, regain your strength, then return.”

As she spoke, Anastasia increased the pressure in her grip, making it clear she wouldn’t let Fia leave.

Only when it concerned Fia’s safety would Anastasia adopt such an authoritative, unbending tone.

Fia couldn’t help but smile bitterly inwardly.

Forcing herself to ignore the pleasant sensation of Anastasia’s body, she teased, “So we just sit here doing nothing? The dust inside definitely hasn’t settled. And listen—the whole Land of Exile is buzzing because of that magic earlier. Someone might find us here. I don’t want to be worshipped like a goddess.”

“This place has been abandoned for ages and is property of the border garrison. At most, people will just glance at the door from outside. As for resting…”

Anastasia paused for a moment, then released Fia. With a motion that was neither light nor solemn, she patted her thigh. Even through the purple dress, the crisp pat pat sound was evocative enough.

“Your Highness can rest here.”

Meaning… lie on her lap? A lap pillow?

Is Anastasia serious…?

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If she were a little girl younger than Tilulu, she’d happily agree, pretending innocence as she lay her head on Anastasia’s lap. But she was past that age. Doing so now would seem childish.

No. As long as I don’t think of it as childish, and instead see it from another angle—like how close my relationship with Anastasia is, so close that such interaction is fine—then there’s no need for embarrassment. It’s like two girls holding hands while walking; normally, no one finds it odd. Only those with a particular lens would think the girls share a secret.

Besides, I just did something far bolder moments ago. What’s there to fear about a mere lap pillow? The big sister I’ve dreamed of is right here, Dofilia! Charge forward!

Shouting inwardly, Fia cleared her throat. She scooted her bottom back onto the cushion she’d been sitting on. Observing Anastasia’s subtle expressions, she whispered.

“Then… I’ll really lie down?”

“Please do.” Perhaps feeling that was too forward, Anastasia assumed a proper, Head Maid-like demeanor. “It is the duty of a personal maid.”

“Then I won’t stand on ceremony.”

With that, Fia leaned sideways, moving her legs from the grass onto the wooden platform. As her jet-black hair cascaded down, her head finally settled gently onto Anastasia’s thigh.

Her view was now filled only with Anastasia’s face—Anastasia was looking down at her, lively and clear azure eyes unblinking, clearly reflecting her own delicate, pitiable face. Her face was slightly flushed, expression stiff, looking completely unnatural.

The stiffness is written all over my face…

So embarrassing.

From this extremely passive angle, Fia averted her eyes like escaping, her head turning awkwardly. She felt her cheeks burning. But from this angle, no matter which way she turned, her shyness would be fully visible to Anastasia, making her wish she had a cloth to cover her face. That way, even if she blushed, Anastasia wouldn’t notice.

If I had a cat tail like Nola’s, it would surely be tightly clamped between my legs by now.

“Your Highness’s heartbeat is so fast.”

Don’t say it out loud, you dummy!

“It must be… must be because I’m too exhausted.”

Turning her face towards the distant wilderness, Fia pouted like she was sulking. Though Anastasia’s softness and floral fragrance were very comforting, embarrassment still outweighed the urge to take a deep breath of Anastasia.

A faint smile appeared on Anastasia’s lovely face.

“Because you’re exhausted? Your expression seems a bit unnatural. Did the previous me never give you a lap pillow?”

“Of course not.”

Back then, I hadn’t gathered the courage to take that step.

“What about you, Anastasia? In your world, have you ever done anything similar?”

“If even this world’s me never did it, the me there certainly didn’t. Do you think the former you, who rarely spoke, would have had the leisure to rest?”

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“So you’re indirectly saying I’m slacking off now?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I’m just… very happy. It feels like the distance between us has closed a bit more, like I understand you better. But when this me returns and learns you rested on my lap… she’ll surely be both angry and upset again. Always saying ‘forgive me’ but constantly doing things to provoke her other self.”

“Yeah…”

Why would she be angry and upset?

Though they already knew the answer, both Fia and Anastasia tacitly avoided saying it aloud.

Time flowed quietly. Dry air carrying a slight chill brushed past their earlobes, making their golden and black hair sway gently.

Suddenly, Anastasia, who had been gazing into the distance, lowered her head, intently staring at Fia’s delicate profile. But she remained silent for a long while. Fia, who had nearly fallen asleep, sensed something off and quietly opened her eyes.

“What’s wrong? Staring at me without saying a word—are you mesmerized?”

Not distracted by Fia’s jest, Anastasia’s azure eyes held a smile, but beneath it lay more depth and seriousness.

“If… I’m just saying if … if this subordinate were to suddenly disappear like this world’s me, and the one belonging to this world were to return… would Your Highness be sad?”

“…What kind of foolish thing are you saying?”

Fia, who had been apprehensive expecting some big secret, was momentarily speechless. She pursed her lips, turning her head aside.

“Not only would I be, but I’d also find a way to bring you back here. That world is already ruined; even if saved, it’d be a wasteland. How could I possibly leave you there? Besides, I’ve already learned [Sacred Relic Analysis]. Once back, I can start creating a vessel to house a soul. I’ll need to find a few test subjects first to get familiar with the process before using it on you. But with my ability, it won’t take more than a few days. If you say such things again, Anastasia, I will be angry.”

“But this subordinate is only posing a hypothetical. After all, I don’t belong to this world. If I return there and let this Anastasia reappear, wouldn’t the disrupted life return to its proper course? If you just treat it as if I never came, wouldn’t everything be fine? If you were to be sad and impatient for me, even fall out with those close to you… this subordinate would be filled with such remorse I’d wish I’d never appeared…”

“How can you still make such assumptions? I am angry.”

Ignoring Anastasia further, Fia simply turned her head away, closing her eyes to block out Anastasia’s words.

Seeing Fia acting so childishly, Anastasia couldn’t help but smile wryly. If Fia were angry at her under normal circumstances, she’d be nervous and uneasy, even wanting to kneel and beg for forgiveness. But now, she didn’t feel that panic-stricken, fearful-of-abandonment feeling. On the contrary, she felt only an indescribable sense of security and satisfaction.

Precisely because Dofi values me, she gets angry at me. And this regard has reached the point where she won’t even allow me to make assumptions. Just like Dofi’s initial efforts to retrieve this world’s Anastasia, Anastasia understood that if she herself fell into a similar predicament, Dofi would also search for her with that same desperation.

Though she didn’t wish for it, knowing she was cared for, and that she wasn’t merely a substitute for another, still filled her with immense joy.

She was both Anastasia and not Anastasia. She seemed to inherit everything from this world’s Anastasia—Liti treated her as Anastasia, for instance—but she lacked a sense of reality. It was as if an indistinct barrier existed between her and others.

Like how Colita initially treated her merely as a guest, unlike the real Anastasia, she was a solitary existence in this world. Even if she disappeared, it wouldn’t cause much of a ripple. That’s why the affection Fia showed her now was so precious. Like a rootless duckweed finally finding something to hold on to, she was captivated by the intoxicating bond named ‘connection’ that tied her to this world, making her never want to return. She was an independent existence. Even if she vanished into thin air, her Highness would still remember her.

Always so intoxicating…

Gazing at Fia’s closed-eyed profile, Anastasia’s gaze gradually softened. Her Highness, even after losing her memory and changing in personality, still possessed a charm that made it impossible to look away.

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She involuntarily reached out, wanting to gently brush back the stray hair by Fia’s temple. But considering Fia was displeased, doing so might prompt Fia to push her hand away angrily. Though that would also be cute, since this was supposed to be rest time, she shouldn’t disturb her. She stopped herself, instead staring fixedly as if trying to permanently etch Fia’s appearance into her memory, not missing a single pore.

Is this self-satisfaction through another method? The Highness who had died in her world now appeared before her in another form, satisfying that version of herself who, having failed in her protective duty, had spent days languishing in bed, aimless.

Suddenly, as her gaze shifted, she noticed the tiny beads of sweat gathering on Fia’s forehead. That was from Fia’s earlier use of [Sacred Relic Analysis] on herself, the result of excessive exertion. Though minimal, the glistening moisture was irresistibly alluring. Anastasia found her first thought wasn’t to wipe the sweat away, but rather, like an intimate caress between lovers, to gently kiss it away with her lips.

If it were her Highness, even her sweat would carry an orchid-like fragrance, wouldn’t it?

A sweet feeling filled her chest, and the slight saltiness spread on her tongue… Even something normally considered unclean like sweat seemed exceptionally sweet, lingeringly pleasant on this petite, delicate girl.

Just imagining for a moment made Anastasia feel her blood surge. This wasn’t stirred by lust, but a pure pursuit of beauty. Her eager heart, the fantasy, filled her with desire to the point she couldn’t tear her gaze from the sweat beads.

Doing it for real would definitely get me labeled a pervert. It might even make Her Highness distance herself from me…

But not doing it… I’d surely regret it. Maybe if I miss this chance, once this Anastasia returns, there will never be another.

Using my lips would be too obvious anyway. If I got pushed away, I’d lose both.

Anastasia swallowed hard.

Then I’ll use a handkerchief to wipe it, then secretly taste the handkerchief’s flavor.

The moment the idea surfaced, Anastasia approved of it. While Fia still had her eyes closed, sulking, she took out a purple handkerchief from her pocket. Then, stealthily, gently, she reached out, lightly dabbing away the sweat on Fia’s forehead, just as she normally would when tending to Fia.

Fia’s brow furrowed slightly but she chose not to acknowledge Anastasia. Perhaps it was Anastasia’s imagination, but she thought she heard a dissatisfied little snort like “hmph.”

Her Highness surely never imagined her attendant maid could be this perverted…

Chastising herself inwardly, Anastasia felt more excitement. With trembling hands, she carefully and quickly withdrew the handkerchief. Then, inconspicuously, she swallowed again, looking at the center of the handkerchief where the sweat had dampened it, making the color darker there.

She glanced again at Fia resting on her lap. Perhaps because she hadn’t spoken for a while, she noticed Fia’s furrowed brow had relaxed considerably. That stiff expression seemed to say, “Anastasia, why aren’t you talking?” “What happened?”

For a moment, her guilt deepened significantly.

I’m a truly lewd maid, utterly unworthy of the Head Maid position…

Yet Anastasia’s hands didn’t stop. As the handkerchief cautiously approached her rosy lips, she could already feel the damp texture on her lips. Then, mustering courage, she extended the tip of her tongue, secretly giving the handkerchief a small lick.

— Salty, as expected. Along with the rough texture of the cloth.

But what would normally be repulsive now brought Anastasia only satisfaction. She wanted to bury her nose in the handkerchief, deeply inhale the orchid-like scent unique to her Highness. But she feared using too much, consuming even future portions. So she could only cautiously extend her tongue again, secretly tasting a little more.

Satisfaction once again filled her chest.

More than a taste experience, it was spiritual, as if her brain kept crying out, More. Don’t stop.

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Doesn’t this make me a…? If Her Highness were to see…

“Anastasia?”

“Huh?!”

The suddenly spoken words were like thunder. Anastasia jolted all over. She hurriedly lowered the handkerchief she’d been holding to her nose, covering it with her hand as if hiding it from Fia. Then she realized Fia had, at some unknown time, left her lap and now stood before her, one hand on her knee, bending over and waving a hand in front of her face, as if she’d been spaced out for a long time. Additionally, she saw concern and suspicion flash in Fia’s eyes.

She must be wondering how her subordinate could be so disgusting.

Anastasia froze completely, fine sweat appearing on her forehead. For a long moment, she couldn’t speak.

“Yo-Your Highness… Wh-when did you get up…”

“About a minute ago. Do you really like that handkerchief that much? Now that I’ve recovered, let’s head back. Creating the vessel is important.”

“Yes…”

Could it be… she didn’t notice my perverted behavior?

Anastasia immediately sighed in relief, quickly standing up to follow Fia.

However, just as Anastasia thought the matter would pass, Fia suddenly stopped again. She looked back into Anastasia’s azure eyes. Those ruby-like eyes were filled with seriousness, pressing enough to make Anastasia feel cornered.

“Anastasia, are you sure you truly didn’t notice me getting up?”

“Y-yes…”

If I had, I wouldn’t have been unresponsive. It’s all my fault for being too careless.

I wonder if Dofi actually noticed…

The thought filled Anastasia with anxiety, sweat appearing on her palms.

Fortunately, Fia didn’t press further. She sighed softly. As magical fluctuations manifested, a bluish light shimmered before them. Simultaneously, she reached out a hand to Anastasia.

“Hold my hand. It’s time to go back.”

“Yes.”

As the two stepped into the unstable bluish teleportation gate, the dilapidated wooden house returned to silence once more. Only the grass clippings stirred by the wind on the ground served as proof that someone had been there moments before.