Volume 8, Chapter 16 – Self-Awakening

If she had to describe it specifically, it was a long staff held in hand—Fia didn’t think it was a magic staff; its straight lines were full of mechanical aesthetic, and the several prongs at the top were no different from communication antennas, infinitely close to Fia’s impression of a “Moon Key.”

This girl held the man-high mechanical staff horizontally above her head, even her fluttering skirt and the waves beneath her feet were lifelike. Though merely a statue, the awe-inspiring look in her expression and the resilient will dwelling in the corners of her eyes made it difficult to gaze upon for too long, as if looking too long might cause the statue to come alive.

As for the smaller statue beside it, it was a half-bloomed flower bud. Apart from being very realistic, the bud had no other special features. But from the bud’s position slightly behind the girl, one could see the girl was protecting it.

Having heard the description from the Antler Chaos above ground, Fia could guess the story the statues depicted. The girl was the Father God the Antler Chaos spoke of, and the flower bud symbolized the Mother of the Antler Chaos. After all, the Antler Chaos above ground had said their Father God protected their Mother when she was very weak. Though there was no similarity in appearance between the Antler Chaos and the flower bud, no other explanation seemed more plausible.

The immediate priority is handling the present.

Fia, unlike the Antler Chaos, lacked the ability to convey her thoughts through intent. Speaking aloud could easily be heard by the other Antler Chaos in the vast square, creating an embarrassing scene. So, what needed to be done now was clear.

First, disperse the crowd in the square.

Fia forcibly tore her gaze away from the statue behind her. She turned back, maintaining her stern expression.

“Are you the leader of all these?”

“It would be more accurate to say I am relatively qualified to communicate with you, Father God. Compared to other Eyes, my mind is more agile. You can think of me as a wise one, an elder.”

“I’ve already met with the one above ground and know of your existence. Have the others withdraw. Now, I need you to answer a few questions.”

“As you command.”

Without even a hint of doubt, the Antler Chaos with entirely blue eyes lowered its head. Then, a special vibration only Fia could feel reverberated through the square. It was something very similar to a sound to Fia, yet not sound. She could sense multiple emotions and things resembling noisy noises echoing in the square. But the moment she concentrated, trying to hear clearly, she would realize there was no vibration in the air at all. The Antler Chaos hadn’t spoken.

This commotion lasted only four or five seconds before ending. Starting from the slime-shaped Chaos at the outermost edge of the square, all of them parted to either side, clearing a wide path for Fia and Anastasia. The end of the path led straight to the largest golden pyramid Fia had seen upon arriving.

It was worth noting that though pyramids were everywhere here, there were none of the sphinxes, stone tablets, or pottery vessels common in Egyptian civilization as Fia knew it. The streets were exceptionally clean. There wasn’t even dust or signs of wear in the gaps between the stone slabs. It was extremely lacking in signs of daily life, as if these buildings served more to commemorate someone than to house people. The cleanliness was chilling.

“Your Highness…”

Anastasia nervously gripped Fia’s hand. In her view, the scene before her was bizarre to the extreme. The Chaos didn’t speak, yet Fia seemed to communicate with them normally—that could be explained by them using magic similar to [Message]. But when it came to Fia ordering the others to withdraw, she was completely bewildered. She heard no messengers shouting, yet tens of thousands of mute Chaos moved in perfect unison. Never mind how they managed to transmit messages—such execution, even Silvar’s most elite legion, could not replicate.

At least they’re not enemies…

Anastasia quietly swallowed.

Fia tightened her grip on Anastasia’s hand slightly. Without a word, maintaining her majestic aura, she took a step forward, heading straight for the pyramid at the path’s end. Just before leaving the square, she looked back once more at the statue behind her. The opening in the ceiling had now vanished, and the staff raised in the statue’s hand was the sole light source in the entire underground world. It was this dazzling golden radiance that bathed the whole underground realm in a desert-like background hue.

…

Amidst countless kneeling Antler Chaos, Fia, her facial muscles already stiff, finally arrived inside the pyramid. Contrary to her expectations, she had thought the pyramid’s interior would be as labyrinthine and complex as a maze. But upon entering, it was a spacious area of over ten thousand square meters. The stale, enclosed air, long unexposed to the outside, rushed toward her. Coupled with the extreme dimness inside, Fia frowned.

She looked at the blue-eyed Chaos leading the way. After entering the pyramid, only the blue-eyed one and four other Chaos with entirely golden eyes remained by her side. The pressure had lessened considerably.

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“What is this place?”

“It is a resting palace built for you.” Whether it was Fia’s imagination, she sensed a hint of trepidation in the blue-eyed Chaos’s intent, as if afraid. “We were born from primordial resentment and the bloodlines of subsequent generations, beings denied by the world. Thus, we do not suffer from ‘drowsiness’ or ‘hunger,’ nor do we know what you, who require these things, might like. We can only rely on the stone tablets left by the Mother during her lifetime to seek out things you might enjoy…”

At first listen, it was difficult to understand. With a little translation, it became clear: because Chaos had no need for sleep or food, and through generations of self-splitting had lost memories of life with the Father God, they could only rely on the stone tablets’ records to piece together things the Father God might like, preparing to receive him should he ever descend.

That explains why the streets felt so devoid of life. The Antler Chaos living here don’t need to eat or sleep, so naturally, there are no traces of daily life in the city. As for building the city, it’s purely out of worship for the Father God, a desire to imitate him.

It feels like natives on a primitive planet trying to host extraterrestrial visitors.

“Is it alright if I use magic here?”

“Everything here, including us, is your servant. You need only act according to your will.”

[Light].

Bright light instantly filled the ten-thousand-square-meter open hall. Fia could now see its full scope. As she had observed outside, there were no signs of life within the pyramid. The floor was clean, not a speck of dust. The only thing worth mentioning was the black slime slowly flowing down the walls—the ordinary Chaos Fia had seen before. The Chaos on the walls flowed onto the floor, then along channels built into the walls to other places.

Recalling that Antler Chaos cannot exist separately from Chaos for too long, this Chaos flowing down the walls must also be their way of worshipping the Father God—because they cannot leave Chaos, they assume the Father God needs Chaos nourishment too.

I don’t know what to say.

Though this blue-eyed Chaos and the four golden-eyed ones are all Ninth-Rank practitioners, they feel like natives from beastman tribes.

Better to be direct.

Fia stopped walking. Sensing the serious atmosphere around Fia, the blue-eyed Chaos’s intent added an emotion resembling nervousness.

“Since you recognize me as your Father God, I’ll be blunt about some things. When I went to the Abyss before, I was attacked by members of your tribe. Their appearance was identical to these ones, and they could use spatial rifts to travel between underground and the surface. Who ordered them to do this, and why?”

“Attack you? Impossible!”

In an instant, the blue-eyed Chaos’s eyeball trembled violently. The golden-eyed Chaos Fia had pointed at couldn’t even maintain its humanoid form. With a pop, it dissolved into a puddle of liquid, its huge eyeball rolling rapidly on the floor like a bouncy ball.

“Please describe the situation at that time in detail.”

Fia recounted what had happened.

Considering she hadn’t possessed the ring at the time, these Antler Chaos probably hadn’t recognized her as the Father God. Fia didn’t dwell on the attack itself. But these Chaos seemed to live underground, aloof from worldly affairs. Attacking her must have been someone’s purposeful action. In other words, besides herself, who else could command them?

Unlike the Antler Chaos above ground, who knew nothing when questioned, this blue-eyed one pondered, its mental speech slowing.

“We did send out warriors before, but the target wasn’t you, and the order to attack also came from you… Could I have misunderstood? While I was dormant, you sent me a revelation, telling me to eliminate those bearing a special aura. I wasn’t the only one who received this revelation; several other warriors in the tribe did as well. That’s why we decided to act.”

“Revelation? You mean a dream?”

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“Precisely. When we sleep, we can deepen our connection with the Mother and with each other. Our communication doesn’t require making obvious sounds like you do. With a single thought, we can transmit ideas to our kin. That is why we trust our perceptions even more.”

“Hmm…”

Fia fell into thought. To put it simply: when Antler Chaos are in a dormant state, they can strengthen their intent to connect with each other. Some time ago, they dreamed of something with an aura identical to the Father God’s, sending them a revelation to eliminate those bearing a special aura—that is, Anastasia. Hence, the golden-eyed Antler Chaos attacked.

As for the special aura, it probably referred to the fact that Anastasia at that time came from another world.

Having seen the statue in the square, it was difficult not to associate the Father God with the First Princess’s image. So, the reason the Antler Chaos attacked Anastasia back then was likely on the First Princess’s orders.

Preposterous. The First Princess is long dead.

Fia clicked her tongue quietly. She was the one who inherited the First Princess’s body. If the First Princess were still alive, she would be the first to know. Besides, the First Princess had no reason to kill Anastasia—after all, Anastasia was saved by her.

But if the First Princess was dead, how to explain the ring on her finger? She had received this ring directly from the silhouette whose outline was identical to her own. It didn’t just appear on her finger.

So, is the First Princess both dead and alive?

Fia recalled the process of obtaining the ring. Initially, the ring was only a vague outline, not like a physical item. But the moment her hand touched the ruby ring, it suddenly became solid. If this was a process of observation, had she directly touched that black silhouette back then, would it have revealed its true form and stood before her?

Is there no other clue…

Just as Fia was thinking, Anastasia, who had been holding Fia’s hand, tightened her grip. Fia looked up at the much taller Anastasia, who had an expression of wanting to speak but hesitating.

“What’s wrong?”

“What were you discussing with the Chaos…”

I see.

Because she couldn’t hear the Antler Chaos’s voice, she felt uneasy.

Fia relayed her conversation with the Antler Chaos and her conjectures to Anastasia. To Fia’s surprise, Anastasia’s gaze grew hesitant. Her lips pressed tightly together, as if unsure whether to speak.

“If there’s something you want to say, just say it. No need to hold back.”

This wasn’t the crowded, attention-filled square. A little lapse in composure wouldn’t matter. Besides, these Antler Chaos didn’t understand any language other than ancient elvish.

Anastasia pressed her right hand to her lips, frowning slightly, trying hard to recall as she answered.

“If dreams are to be taken seriously, in the past, the other me, and myself as well, have seen you many times in our dreams…”

She means that dream about failing to protect me, watching me die in the Milcandis Holy Kingdom, Fia guessed. She knew this dream had always haunted Anastasia—both the other one and this one.

Anastasia continued to explain.

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“In Baron Yarua’s territory, the night I slept with you, I had that dream again—the one where we were walking together on the plain. But you were acting strangely that time. Suddenly you held my hand and said I wasn’t Anastasia. Then you laughed, completely unlike yourself, and holding my hand, you said ‘for victory’… After that, I was able to control my body in the dream. I blocked the attack from the Unsinkable Moon for you and died, then fell into a deep sleep.”

Huh?

A giant question mark appeared over Fia’s head. Suddenly, with great seriousness, she grabbed both of Anastasia’s arms and asked concernedly.

“Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I thought it was just a dream…”

Anastasia shrank her neck, her golden hair trembling behind her, looking very timid.

“What about afterwards? What did the other Anastasia dream?”

“The other me, before she fell into slumber, dreamed of you—no, of the you before you lost your memory. That you said many things to her in the dream. Now I think the person who appeared in the other me’s dream was the living you, not a dream. Or rather, ‘appearing in a dream’ might be more accurate.”

“That you in the dream said many strange things. Like how you had tried many times, but because you yourself were too powerful, you couldn’t be accommodated by this world. And how the other me shouldn’t have appeared in this world in the first place, but something went wrong somewhere, so she ended up here…”

Anastasia repeated the conversation from her memory. Gradually, Fia felt something clicking into place in her mind. Her view was the same as Anastasia’s, and she was even more convinced: the First Princess who appeared in the other Anastasia’s dream was definitely not a mere dream, but an existence independent of Anastasia’s spirit.

A person can only dream of things they know. The First Princess who appeared in the other Anastasia’s dream said too many things Anastasia couldn’t possibly know. First, “because I myself am too powerful to be accommodated by this world.” The counterpart to “this world” was naturally the Radiant World where she once lived. Anastasia probably wouldn’t have conceived of such an idea.

Even if, hypothetically, this thought could have come from Fia mentioning to Anastasia that she was from another world, the First Princess directly saying the word “AI” in the dream was already beyond simple dreaming. Fia had never mentioned the word “AI” to Anastasia. This violated the basis of dream formation.

“Just to be sure, Anastasia, you’ve never heard the word ‘AI’ before, have you?”

“No… I was going to ask you what it means.”

Fia slapped her forehead with a smack.

This is too much information.

Fia turned her palm toward Anastasia and the blue-eyed Chaos, signaling them to be quiet. She herself slowly sorted through the scattered information in her mind.

First, before the other Anastasia slumbered within the ruby ring, she had mentioned this dream to Fia in that wooden house. She said the First Princess in the dream claimed her death was premeditated. At the time, Fia was agonizing over the other Anastasia’s imminent disappearance and had no energy to delve deeper. Looking back now, the dream Anastasia just mentioned must have been the dream the other Anastasia had right before she slumbered. That was when the dream occurred.

And the First Princess mentioned to the other Anastasia in the dream, “It’s precisely because the other you couldn’t forget this dream and wanted to fulfill your wish in it that you ended up here.”

Combined with what Anastasia just said—that night in Baron Yarua’s territory, after she died for her in the dream, her consciousness fell into slumber—a slightly bold guess: the trigger for the two Anastasias’ consciousness exchange was precisely this Anastasia’s death in the dream. Both the timing and the First Princess’s complaints in the dream aligned.

Second, the First Princess called herself “AI cannot violate its own principles.” Combined with “my informational volume is too large to be accommodated by this world,” and saying “saving Anastasia was one of my few acts as a human,” this implied that the First Princess was not human, but an AI.

Wait, AI? The First Princess was also a transmigrator?

Fia suddenly realized this even more critical issue.

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Then who am I? Where did I come from? What am I now? Where am I?

She finally became aware of the question she had always ignored and, even when explored, received no answer—she had always been curious. She seemed to possess memories from the era before Laplace all the way to the end of the Radiant Era. Yet the time span was so vast that trillions of years were far from sufficient.

No carbon-based lifeform could survive that long. Even with constant replacement of cybernetic bodies and aging organs, eventually, after too much time, one would die spiritually, no longer willing to replace organs. Moreover, the intervening dynasties constantly alternated, undergoing countless cycles of destruction and reconstruction. During those periods, there were no conditions for replacing organs or cybernetic bodies. Objectively, a person could not achieve immortality.

So, why do I, who clearly think of myself as having been human in the past, possess memories of all human history?

Even thinking about it now, Fia felt those age-old scenes vividly before her eyes, as if she had personally witnessed those distant-era scenery, smelled the smell of steel of old eras and the burning smell of fossil fuels.

Yet while she remembered these things so clearly, she couldn’t recall at all what her former name was, where she was born, or even what she was doing before coming to this world. Compared to the vivid images of various eras surfacing before her eyes, the memories related to “myself as a human” were pitifully few, so thin they could entirely belong to someone else.

The First Princess was an AI from another world. I also came from another world. Even though I’ve lost my memory, my habits and behavior are almost identical to the First Princess’s. Now I’ve even been recognized as the Father God by the Antler Chaos. That means I am the First Princess, I am… an AI?

Suddenly, Fia’s vision blurred, and her breathing became rapid.

But even if I were an AI, I shouldn’t possess memories spanning such a long time. AI shouldn’t live that long either!

Fia denied it internally. She seemed to hear Anastasia calling her from outside, but she could no longer spare the attention. Her focus was entirely on her rapidly overheating mind. She felt she was only one wall away from knowing who she was. If she could just think a little harder, she could figure everything out.

The First Princess’s words to Anastasia included phrases like, “At the final moment, I found this purple mysterious world. Relying on groundless obsession, I came here, but because I was too powerful, I was rejected by the entire world—rejected? Maybe that’s not quite right. Probably just that the informational volume constituting me was too large; this side couldn’t accommodate it.” Constituting her informational volume too large, finding another world at the final moment—such words pointed to an existence in Fia’s memory.

It was the crystallization of all intelligence in her universe, a creation whose consciousness permeated every corner of the cosmos, embracing the wisdom and experience of all life. If it was that AI, created to solve the problem of civilization’s survival, then the puzzle pieces fell into place…

But what does this have to do with the Antler Chaos before me? Why did the First Princess become the Father God? How could she cross tens of thousands of years, transcend illusion and reality, to send the ruby ring to me? Was that really the First Princess?

And even more importantly.

Who am I now? Or rather, what kind of existence am I?

WHIIIRRRLL—

The buzzing sound grew from barely perceptible to now ringing through every nerve, to the point of being unbearable. She remembered everything clearly, yet something was preventing her from recalling it. Every nerve became scorching hot, developing into unbearable pain. Even with the nanomachines working desperately, they couldn’t alleviate the increasingly uncontrollable burning pain in her brain. No, now it was unbearable agony.

Fia’s eyes snapped wide open. She looked at Anastasia’s anxious face before her. Perhaps because her brain temperature was too high, her vision was malfunctioning. The bright hall before her was filled with many colorful fragments. She heard the sounds of magic, the crackling of collapsing buildings. The image of the Unsinkable Moon launching its javelins even surfaced before her eyes. Around her echoed countless calls of Anastasia. But now she couldn’t care about any of that. She raised her hand, casting [Absolute Stillness]—far superior to [Aegis of the Firmament]—on herself and Anastasia. Her lips moved with difficulty.

“I need… to rest a while…”

As the words fell, Fia closed her eyes and leaned against Anastasia. She took a deep breath, quietly waiting for the nanomachines to work at full capacity, until the burning sensation in her brain completely faded.