3 — A Bit Self-Conscious

You could see not only the ocean from the balcony, but the port we’d passed in the afternoon too. And that wasn’t even the end of it—there was an entire seaside panorama spread out in front of me. I might have been way too close to Mr. Fisalis, but I’d cast aside my idle thoughts so I could keep enjoying the sunset!

Gripping the railing tightly (don’t wanna fall off!), I saw the orange slowly turn to deep indigo, and I watched the two colors melt into each other. The sunset on the hill in Le Pied was beautiful too, but this was my first time ever seeing the ocean, so it was especially moving. Getting this breathtaking view all to myself... How luxurious! I’m super satisfied!

“Is the view to your liking?” asked the anchor behind me—or rather, Mr. Fisalis—as I was moved by the sunset’s beauty.

Oh, I said ‘all to myself,’ but I’m not actually alone, am I? Okay, I’ll adapt (to what?). “Yes! It’s so lovely... I was so moved! The evening sun sinking into the sea was beautiful!”

I looked up at him, only for him to chuckle at me. Ah, maybe it was childish to get so excited about this. And my heart might just pound a bit seeing him smile as gently as the sea in front of us. Wait, am I starting to feel kinda weird here? This is all because of that stuff he said last night.

My mind flashed back to the day before. All of this, on top of him holding me in his arms from behind. I quickly ripped my eyes away from him, looking embarrassed. But that didn’t do anything for my pounding heart. Ah, geez... it’s pounding because I’m standing on a balcony over a cliff and because he’s standing so close. That’s all.

As I tried to make sense of my racing heartbeat, he tilted his head questioningly. “What’s wrong?”

Damn, he’s sharp. He’s getting really attuned to even my tiniest facial expressions. I don’t have much of a poker face, but I’m gonna have to be careful not to show too much. It’d be super embarrassing.

“Ah, I guess I’m just a little light-headed from looking down and seeing how high up we are. Aha!☆” I said, trying to fool him with a smile.

“Oh, you’re afraid of heights? Rest assured, I’d never let you fall. Now you can look anywhere you like.” He smiled back at me.

“Ha ha ha... Yep...” One of the arms that was holding the rail next to me wrapped around my waist.

This is even safer... Not! It’s just closer! Ghh... He’s got me even more trapped... But even after saying all that, I do feel calmer being safely nestled in his arms. He looks so slender, but I can feel his supple muscles pressing up against me. He really is a true knight!

Wait. I was supposed to be watching the sunset, not losing myself in all these weird thoughts. Forget about the heart pounding and muscles. Sunset, look at the sunset!

But by the time I looked back, the sun had already been swallowed by the sea. I could only spot a tiny bit of orange left on the horizon.

Ahhh, I should’ve paid more attention! It’s because I was thinking things I shouldn’t be thinking about. I’ll have to watch it from the balcony again tomorrow night. I can really take my time to enjoy it then!

Mr. Fisalis watched over me as I was lost in my thoughts of seeing the sunset the next day, before he finally said, “Let’s go to the other side of the port tomorrow.”

Oh, so we’re going to the other side of the port tomorrow, huh? I won’t be able to watch the sunset from the balcony, then... Wait, what?

“The other side of the port?” Looking to where he was pointing, I saw a hill on the other side of the twilight port.

“We’ll be going over that hill.”

“Wow... It looks super steep...”

Can you even hike up a slope like that? I can see a winding path up if I squint, but it must really be bad if you need to zigzag up the side. I say this a lot, but... I was raised in the capital, so I’ve never climbed a mountain path before. I’ve got a lot of stamina from working with the servants every day, but it might not last me all the way to the top. I-I’ll try, though. But why are we gonna go mountain (hill?) climbing when we’re at the seaside?

“There’s something wonderful on the other side of the port that I want to show you,” Mr. Fisalis explained, seeing my puzzled look.

With the evening sun in Le Pied and the sun setting into the ocean today, Mr. Fisalis has shown that his choices of superb views are nothing to sneeze at. That means I should probably be looking forward to tomorrow. I’m kinda getting excited! “Alright. I’ll look forward to it.”

Mountain climbing, huh? I’ll have to wear something easy to move in tomorrow, then!

The next day:

Once we’d finished breakfast, Mr. Fisalis told me that we’d be leaving as soon as I was ready, and urged me to make preparations for our journey to the other side of the hill.

“I should probably wear something comfortable, shouldn’t I?” I checked with Mr. Fisalis as he looked through documents given to him by Rohtas. I’d probably die if I was told to tackle that zigzag mountain path I saw earlier in fancy clothing. I’d definitely suffocate if I was squeezed into a corset, and I’d twist the hell out of my ankles in dainty heels.

“Hmm, it might be a little difficult if you wear something restrictive, maybe? I don’t think it matters much,” he answered with a little groan, but that wasn’t really an answer at all.

“Don’t say ‘whatever you want,’” I warned, glaring.

“Then wear something light.”

“Alright. Are we just going and then coming back tonight? How long will it take?” I wanted to know the schedule, since I wanted to watch the sunset again.

“We’ve got another villa on the other side, so I thought we could take it easy once we’re there.”

Seriously? Didn’t expect that answer.

“...How many villas do we have...?”

“Hmm... I dunno.” He started counting on his fingers. Wait, more than you can count on one hand!? All I could do was watch, dumbfounded. “So you should bring enough with you for two, maybe three nights.”

And now we’re staying the night. And why the hell would he have another villa that close to this one!? Shouldn’t it be one per region!? (Oh, that’s just my family, huh☆) The duchy’s wealth is always surprising, but this villa situation is just on a different scale entirely. Whew.

“We’ll be bringing Rohtas and our maids, as well.”

He’s trying to tell me we’ll be just fine staying there... No, that’s not why I’m speechless... Whatever. He wouldn’t understand, anyway.

We’d be going beyond the hill. I would’ve liked to have a casual outing like the one in La Pied, but this was starting to be a serious undertaking.

“...Our little trip is getting kinda grandiose, huh?”

“Then would you prefer to leave Rohtas and the others here? Ah, that’s true—taking it easy, just the two of us, might be...”

“Wha—!?”

“I said, just the two of us—”

He was smiling like he’d had a great idea, but I reacted too strongly to the words “just the two of us.” Hnnnnn, I don’t think my heart could handle being alone with him after last night. And knowing him, he’d want to cuddle, too. He always sits right beside me on the sofa, and holds my hand when we’re going anywhere, and we were snuggled up so close last night as we watched the sunset... Gyaaah!

I shook my head roughly to get rid of the vision of us on the balcony the night before.

“Ahhh, I can take care of myself, but you should probably bring someone who’s used to getting you ready. You shouldn’t inconvenience yourself, so let’s bring the maids! We’ve all come so far from Rozhe, after all—we should go sightseeing together! We should definitely bring everyone!” I cut him off, talking over him. Ah, I’m out of breath.

I felt like he’d keep making my heart race whenever we were alone together, so I wanted to avoid it.

“...Oh, okay.”

Ah, Mr. Fisalis, don’t look so disappointed.

Since I’d figured out what I was going to wear, I headed back to my room to get ready. Putting on a dress I could easily move in, paired with low-heeled boots that were great for walking, I was all set.

“I’ve only seen it from far away, but it looks super steep compared to the hill in Montjuc. I don’t think we’d be able to make it by carriage, so we must be walking, right? Will I actually be able to climb all the way up there? He didn’t mention how far away the other villa is, so I’m not sure if I could make it on foot,” I complained to Stellaria, thinking about the slope I’d seen the night before.

“Oh, of course you aren’t walking. Don’t worry—you’ll be taking a palanquin,” she replied.

Huh? Palanquin? Those are those things that people carry, right? People, not horses!?

“W-we’re going on palanquins!?” I asked for confirmation, startled at the unexpected method of transport. Almost all travel was by carriage. I’d only ever seen palanquins when the king and queen themselves were parading. And I’d be riding in something that intimidating!?

“As you correctly guessed, the hill in La Cœur is too steep, and the path too thin, for carriage travel. That’s why they’ve always used palanquins to get to the summit,” Stellaria explained, adding that this was all knowledge she’d gathered from the other servants, since she’d never been here before herself.

“But using manpower...”

Horses pull carriages, so no one feels bad about using them, but I couldn’t handle the fact that palanquins moved using manpower... I’d always thought of them as some ultra-high-class vehicle, so this was all way too much for me.

“Ah, but everyone around here uses them to get up that hill. And the porters are usually sailors. They carry palanquins to make money while they’re on land, so it would actually be worse for you not to make use of them.”

“Huh? Really?” I blinked in shock, since it was a lot different from the super-fancy noble vehicle I was imagining. So, they were actually the standard here, huh? And as for the porters, I’d have no choice but to use them if this was how they made their living on land.

“Yes. It’s the duty of a ruler to create jobs and advance the economy.”

“Aahh... You’re right.”

“That’s why you need to go out of your way to employ them,” she chided coldly, making me shrink back.

“...I can see where you take after Dahlia...”

“I get that a lot.”

Lords create jobs for their citizens and do their best to pay them for their services. I knew that. I knew that in my head, but...

Back at home, we were always poor, so I’d completely forgotten that we should have been putting money into the economy. And on top of that, I’d always been thrifty. I did always think that, as nobles, we should actively earn money on behalf of our citizens, but that’s a bit different.

Duhhhhh. That’s right. I’m not a plain lady from a poor earl’s house anymore... Even after marrying into the duchy, I’ve still been acting like I did back at home, trying to save money anywhere I could. But this is what Mr. Fisalis and Mother Fisalis were always thinking about.

The luxury I’d only seen as “a waste of money”—shopping all the time, Mr. Fisalis’s lavish meals—they were all part of the duties of being a (high-ranked!) noble!

Thinking back, the dresses that Mother Fisalis and Mr. Fisalis had made for me for the trip were all made in Madame Fleur’s boutique—but her apprentices had done the real work. We’d gotten them extraordinarily cheap, but Madame Fleur said it would be good training for all of them.

By using their money, they’d helped someone else... That’s not a waste of money at all, but the proper use of it. So would that mean that Mr. Fisalis was actually thinking when he wasted... Cough, cough, I mean, used his money? Hmm, but this is Mr. Fisalis we’re talking about. Was he really thinking about anything at all?

“So, Mother Fisalis and Mr. Fisalis’s ‘splurges’ actually had meaning, huh?”

“It’s something they pick up naturally, so they probably wouldn’t think of it exactly that way,” Stellaria answered.

Hrm, I see. They’ve learned to do it without thinking! I can see what a difference rank makes.

“I get it. They’ve been rich their whole lives, after all. In my case, if I didn’t do all that consciously, it would be impossible for me.” I’m super aware of it right now, but I can definitely see myself falling back into those thrifty habits if I don’t focus! Since I was born in a house where scrimping and saving was the family motto, that stingy mindset was deeply ingrained. I’m so bad at this.

I wouldn’t have noticed if it hadn’t been pointed out, but I’ve actually been acting spoiled. I’m not the daughter of a poor earl anymore...

Wait, I already went through that bit.

Hearing Stellaria’s reasonable explanation felt like a major wakeup call. I never thought I’d be this aware of my shortcomings!

Stricken, I hobbled over to the bed and fell face first onto it.

“M-Madam!? What’s wrong? Are you feeling ill?” Stellaria was panicking.

“Ah, I’m fine. It’s just that I’ve seen the light.”

“What?”

“I’m regretting some things,” I clarified, speaking into the pillow.

“Alright...” She said, puzzled.

It’ll just be a waste of time if I lie here regretting it. I can’t help what’s already happened. It just means I need to try from now on! Okay, I’m back!

“...I can’t be like this right now. Wasteful spending might be bad, but it’s important to use the money you’ve got appropriately, too.”

“Yes?”

“Okay! I’m good!” I psyched myself up, jumping to my feet. Landing lightly, I fixed my dress, which had been messed up during my dive onto the bed. “Mr. Fisalis must be waiting, so let’s get going,” I said.

“A-alright.”

Stellaria must’ve been puzzled by my hectic mood changes. Sorry! But we’re going up the hill, right? I’ve never been on a palanquin before, so I’m kinda looking forward to it now! I’m being so positive...