✦✦✦Idle Asides, No. 3 — A Pain-in-the-Ass Letter✦✦✦

While Viola was called to the palace to have tea with the princesses:

In a meeting room deep within the palace, the Royal Council was being held. It was a sudden meeting, spurred by an official letter from the King of Aurantia.

It had been a month since the war had ended, but since all of their postwar business had been wrapped up and the two nations didn’t really want to interact, Flür had been fine with just watching them and leaving things as they were. But...

Morning, in the King’s office.

Since he didn’t have any meetings or inspections that day, His Majesty was simply relaxing before going out to perform his usual duties. But then, a knock rang out, and Prime Minister Argenteia popped his head in.

“Please forgive me for barging in on Your Majesty. I’ve brought an official letter from Aurantia,” he announced, walking into the office and standing on the other side of the King’s desk.

“Do they need something?”

“I don’t know. It was very sudden. Our intelligence has reported no particular problems. I was going to ask the messenger what it was about, but he rushed out before I could, so I know nothing,” the prime minister continued, holding out a single sealed letter.

Despite it being a very formal-seeming message from Aurantia, he was confused because they had no reason to send such a thing. And not only that, but the messenger had acted strange, so he’d rushed to bring the letter to the King.

“Well, I’ll give it a look,” the King said, taking the sealed envelope.

“Yes.”

He read through the message suspiciously, and the further he got, the more his brow furrowed.

The prime minister watched, puzzled. “Is something the matter? Did they write something insulting?”

“Hmmmm. It would probably be a good idea to have everyone read this. I can’t make this decision alone.”

“What do you mean?”

“Read it for yourself.”

Prime Minister Argenteia took the letter and quickly skimmed through it. “...I see what you mean. They don’t seem to have reflected much. They lack common sense,” he said, rubbing his temples.

“Let’s call a meeting and discuss what to do.”

“As you wish. We’ll be calling him as well, correct?”

“Of course.”

And so, the senior statesmen were called for an emergency Royal Council meeting.

As the palace’s meeting room filled, it buzzed with conversation. What could the letter from Aurantia have said?

The meeting began with Prime Minister Argenteia reading the letter aloud. Basically, it said this:

“As a show of friendship with Flür, we would like for our princess to marry a man of suitable stature. We would also like for you to send us a woman of suitable stature to become our crown princess.”

“Shouldn’t they apologize first? Nothing about that?”

“I can see why they’d send their princess here as a hostage, but why would we send a hostage back for them as well?”

“Our country has no need for any political ties to Aurantia. That’s why we’ve never brought up the idea of intermarriage. They really don’t get it, do they?”

While the statesmen continued chattering, His Majesty stopped them with a raised hand. “Since they’re more or less saying they want to keep an amicable relationship, I think it would be best to accept and have one of my three daughters become their crown princess. The problem is—who will marry Aurantia’s princess.”

“Did they specify someone in the message?” One of the statesmen spoke up.

“That’s it...” The King’s features darkened as he said it, and the room buzzed once more.

“The letter continued. ...They want their princess to marry Duke Fisalis,” Prime Minister Argenteia answered with a wry smile.

“HUHHH!?” Cercis forgot that he was in a Royal Council meeting and screeched hysterically.

“According to the letter, yes. You were at Aurantia’s palace after the war, correct? Apparently, the princess saw you and fell in love at first sight. But they don’t seem to be aware that you’re already married.”

“That’s idiotic!”

The prime minister explained in simple terms, but aside from Cercis’s impulsive retort, the rest of the statesmen sat there in stunned silence. An uncomfortable hush fell over the meeting room.

While Cercis raged on, the statesman launched into a tirade against Aurantia.

“I understand that they might want to give us their princess because they lost the war, but why should they get to choose who she marries?”

“And on top of wanting to choose, they’re essentially asking for a hostage to be married to their crown prince. Do they even realize they lost?”

The King stopped the conversation once again. “If he was to marry the princess, she would have to be his legal wife. But the duke is already married. He would have to make his current wife his concubine—”

“NO,” Cercis interrupted, his voice so cold it was below freezing.

“I know, I understand! I understand that you can’t do that! I was just about to say we couldn’t do that!” His Majesty continued, flustered, while the duke gave him an icy smile.

“That’s right. Everyone in Flür knows how close you two are.”

“We’re all against ripping you away from your beloved wife!”

The statesmen spoke out to try to comfort Cercis.

“Right? Thank you all!” This time, he gave them a heartfelt smile.

The King looked on blankly, but it was obvious that everyone was unanimously against the princess and Cercis marrying.

“It was out of the question from the beginning.”

“That’s right.”

“I vote against marrying the duke off.”

“Of course. Ah, but would I be able to see the letter for a moment?”

“Alright,” said the King, handing Cercis the message.

The duke took it and read the contents. It really did say that they wanted to marry him off to the princess.

“Ridiculous.” With a smile on his face but absolutely none in his eyes, he moved to rip the letter in half.

“Wait! That’s still technically a very important official letter! Don’t rip it—just leave it!” Celosia screeched, rushing to snatch the letter from him.

“Let’s send a reply refusing the marriage between their princess and Duke Fisalis at once.”

And with the King’s final words, the matter was dropped.

“But who will we offer in exchange?” the Prime Minister asked.

Since they’d decided on turning down the marriage request to Cercis and it wouldn’t be diplomatic to just refuse outright, they had to give an alternative option.

“Hmmm... Our crown prince is only five. We might be able to make an engagement work... How old is the princess?”

“Princess Orangé is twenty years old,” replied Celosia immediately.

“Twenty! It might have worked the other way around, but that’s far too big a gap for us!” The statesmen all argued.

“If they were engaged, she would be thirty by the time the prince comes of age. She’ll be much too old to give him an heir at that rate. Although we could just hope one of his concubines gives birth to one...”

They all went silent at the prime minister’s words.

“Let’s just keep looking for a suitable partner.”

“That’s right. If I don’t turn this down, Duke Fisalis will kill me—”

“I’ll do what?”

Smile.

The King’s face twitched at Cercis’s icy smile. There was nothing worse for the heart than a cold smile from an attractive person. His Majesty didn’t want to make an enemy of the duke now that he was showing his worth after getting married... The thought was terrifying. A cold sweat ran down his back.

“Oh, no. We wouldn’t want their princess to keep thinking she could marry you, after all! We’ve gotta crush that dream right from the start! Aha, ahahaha!” he quickly blurted out, wiping the cold sweat from his brow.

“Yes, let’s! Please, send your reply with one of my subordinates. They’ll get there much faster than a normal messenger.”

“Alright. I’ll leave that to you.”

“Please get to writing that letter, Your Majesty. As fast as you can. I’ll find a messenger while you do.”

“Leave it to me!”

Paying no more heed to the other statesmen, Cercis and the King finalized their plans. Since the answer had been unanimously against the proposal, the others just watched it happen.

Cercis left the meeting room and headed to the Knight’s post, putting out a hasty call for Corydalis. When said knight came to his office, he saw Cercis sitting at his desk with a peevish look on his face. Past experience told him that nothing good could come of this.

“What’s up?”

“I’ll get straight to the point. Deliver a letter from His Majesty to Aurantia.”

“What?” Corydalis stared back blankly at Cercis’s frank request.

Normally, official letters from the King would be delivered by special messengers, since they were top secret and usually dealt with delicate matters. It wasn’t a job for the Royal Guard. So why was he asking...?

Corydalis’s clever mind worked in an instant, and his face tightened. “Since you want me to be the messenger, I’m guessing that something annoyi— Ahem, difficult has come up, hasn’t it?” he retorted.

“Not annoying. Aurantia wants me to marry their princess.”

“Huh? You, marrying the princess? ...Do they know you’re already married?”

“Probably not. I didn’t bring up any private information in my dealings with them. I didn’t even speak with them except on official business. I’ve never even had a conversation with this princess of theirs.”

Cercis thought back to his days at Aurantia’s palace while dealing with postwar matters.

I hadn’t spoken much to anyone, much less flattered anybody. I have no idea why they’d ask for me by name. And their princess was... that, right? Small and blobby... She kept hanging around wherever I was. I’d tried to subtly brush her off and tell her she was in the way, but subtlety didn’t work. I ended up telling her to get lost to her face before she took the hint. She couldn’t read the situation at all.

While he could recall a vague blob when he thought of the princess, he couldn’t bring to mind any details. That was how little attention he’d paid to her.

Corydalis was the same. He’d mostly dealt with clerical staff and their Minister of War in postwar dealings, so he couldn’t remember ever speaking to her.

“Right. Does your wife know about this?”

“I only just learned at the council meeting, so Viola shouldn’t know anything yet. And I’m not telling her either, since I turned it down immediately. The King is writing a rejection letter as we speak.”

“I see.”

“Dammit... Why is Viola at the palace today of all days... I hope no one says anything unnecessary to her...” Cercis said, going pale.

“Oh, so she’s at the palace today? That’s unusual.”

“The princesses invited her to a tea party.”

The duke kept swearing, muttering, “Why today, dammit!” Then, “I don’t want Viola knowing anything about this, so don’t tell her.”

“Why?”

“She’d probably tell me it would be best to divorce her and marry the princess...” Cercis held his head in his hands. He didn’t want her to know because he was terrified of her saying that one word.

“Ah...” Corydalis gave him a pitying look.

“That is why! I want you, who know both Viola and I very well, to go down and tell them that I have a wife whom I love very much and thus will N E V E R marry their princess. I couldn’t trust a regular messenger with saying all of that, but you should be fine! I have faith in you!!” Cercis looked up quickly, as if shaking off Corydalis’s gaze, and told him exactly why he’d chosen him. He grabbed his arms and started shaking him back and forth.

“Hey, don’t shake me like that! You’re scrambling my brains! Ah, um... I understand, though. I’ll do my best for the sake of you and your wife’s happiness.”

“I’ll leave it to you!”

And so, Corydalis agreed to be the messenger, taken in by Cercis’s might.

A few hours later, he set off on horseback at an unprecedented speed to deliver the King’s reply of “NO WAY!”

And as for Cercis...

He managed to get Viola out of the palace before anyone said anything unnecessary.