Short Story Collection

To commemorate the completion of the main story, please enjoy these bonus short stories—originally included with certain stores’ editions of Can Someone Please Explain What’s Going On?! Vol. 1, and now collected in print for the first time!

Cartham the Chef and Bellis the Gardener

It was just after Cartham’s midafternoon break had ended, when he still had a good chunk of time before he had to begin the preparations for dinner.

In order to procure the herbs and spices he would use in that night’s meal, the chef paid a visit to the garden greenhouse. The herbs weren’t grown in the building itself, but it was actually the gardener—Bellis—who he had come looking for.

“Hey. I’m here to pick up some Raula, Orale, and Black Pepe Fruit,” he called out to Bellis, who was going about his work with his back turned to the door. The chef’s typical, flirtatious way of talking was nowhere to be heard; right now, he was nothing but an ordinary—no, not just ordinary, but a good-natured and handsome man.

According to Cartham, his gallant persona was reserved for women only, with his thoughts on the matter being: “Who would act like that around another man?!”

“...Sure. There should be plenty ripe for the picking,” answered Bellis. He stopped whatever task he’d been absorbed in and slowly turned to face Cartham, wiping soil on his pants as he rose to his feet.

With that, he led Cartham out of the greenhouse, heading for the section of the garden where all the herbs were grown, medicinal or otherwise.

* * *

As soon as he’d made sure no one else was around to hear, Cartham abruptly opened his mouth to say, “I heard Master Fisalis is going to be married. The news was so sudden, why, it took me by complete surprise.”

“He is, apparently.”

“Judging by the fact that he hasn’t announced it to the servants yet, I assume it’s still up in the air.”

“Yeah,” Bellis agreed, taciturn as ever.

Incidentally, Cartham knew of the matter because he was always the first to get news from both Rohtas and Dahlia. Bellis, on the other hand, was the gardener—and furthermore, one who would sometimes act as the “shadow” of the ducal manor. He had learned of this marriage-to-be when Rohtas had ordered him to look into the Euphorbia family.

That likewise explained Cartham’s next remark. “What kind of mademoiselle is she?”

“It’s hard to find much information on her, so I can’t say for sure. As far as appearances go, she’s just your average girl. Plain, I guess you could say. She doesn’t act much like an aristocrat; if anything, she’s more like a servant, considering all the chores she does around the house.”

“Huh, interesting. Knowing our master, I was convinced he’d eventually net himself some brainless, ostentatious noblewoman.”

“...Well, she’s definitely the exact opposite of that.”

“Hmm...”

The pair lapsed into silence.

“Still...marriage? When he hasn’t shown the slightest willingness to break it off with that companion of his?”

Despite his usual aversion to conversation, Bellis responded without missing a beat. “It is hard to imagine.”

“I haven’t the slightest idea what he’s thinking, but whatever it is, I’m afraid it may be too much to ask of your typical mademoiselle.”

“Probably.”

“Well, if nothing else, we’ll just have to do what we can to make that girl feel welcome here.”

“Yeah.”

To sit back and let an innocent girl despair was anathema to Cartham. Bellis, meanwhile, was simply resentful of his master’s unethical behavior. Though the philosophy behind the sentiment was slightly different, both men felt sympathy for their soon-to-be new mistress.

“Sorry to bother you. I’ll take my herbs and go.”

With that, Cartham retreated to the manor with a bundle of freshly picked herbs in hand.

* * *

One year later—their new madam, Viola, would arrive at the manor. At the time of their conversation, how could either of them have imagined just how much they would come to adore her?

An Account from the Head Maid, Dahlia

When Master Fisalis suddenly announced that he was going to be married, why, he sent the entire manor into a tizzy! We had to get everything ready to welcome our new mistress, all while simultaneously preparing for the wedding ceremony itself. The Fisalis manor, which had been steeped in an air of resignation for so long, sprang back to life at long last.

That said, Master Fisalis had a lover, and the two of them had been involved for quite a while now. Worse still, he had yet to make any attempt to break off relations with her.

My word—could he be planning to get married and keep his mistress on the side?! What a cruel man our master is!

I cursed him in my heart of hearts—though I’m afraid that detail must remain strictly between the two of us. I thank you for your discretion.

Silently vowing never to cause that pitiable young lady any discomfort or inconvenience, I put more effort than ever into the preparations.

When the ceremony was over, I met the young lady—or rather, the madam—for the first time and found her to be a lovely girl. I was charmed to see the surprise on her face when the entire staff assembled to introduce ourselves to her. Figuring that she must have been tired, Mimosa and I helped her get ready for bed, but her mind seemed to be elsewhere the entire time.

At first I had taken her for the timid sort, but one look into her eyes told me how mistaken I had been.

The moment she picked up on what a lifeless shell the Fisalis manor had become and declared her intent to do something about it, I could just see the vibrant spark in her blue eyes. There wasn’t a hint of the misery you’d expect from a show wife who had been trapped in a marriage of convenience.

As the head maid, I admit I had my reservations about letting the lady of the house play “servant”; however, her sheer delight as she scurried about the manor was truly a priceless sight, so Rohtas and I came to the mutual agreement to stand back and simply supervise her antics.

The more time the madam spent with us, the more we fell for her charms.

As a result of her initiative to breathe life back into the mansion—along with the way she put herself in the servants’ shoes, never once bossing anyone around—every single servant in the manor came to adore her. Our growing fondness for the madam only served to make the mansion an even brighter place. At the same time, she was capable of handing out orders when the situation called for it. Despite her young age, I believed she had quite the good head on her shoulders.

The former duchess had been no less wonderful, but I was just as pleased to serve a madam with a different sort of charm.

Though Master Fisalis has become quite the slacker as of late, I believe that boy may have brought home a bigger catch than he bargained for.

Bonus Short Story: An Account from Mimosa the Maid

It had been seven years since I’d first begun working at the Fisalis manor. All that time, I’d kept my modest ambition of one day serving a mistress locked deep within my heart, slaving away in preparation for that future. To wait on the lady of the house was the ultimate mark of an elite servant, after all.

Seeing as the former duchess had kept a team of veteran maids close at hand—including but not limited to the head maid, Dahlia—there had been no room for a rookie like me to penetrate their ranks. That was only natural, of course; it was because of those circumstances, however, that I was determined to work for the manor’s next madam instead.

Back when I had first begun my service, Duke Fisalis had been a distinguished young man. He had displayed enough aptitude to garner respect within the chivalric order at a young age, and he had good looks to top it off. He had studied regal principle since he was a child, which made him wise in the ways of the world. That was the man whose wife I would be working for! Of course I assumed he would bring home a wonderful lady!

And yet, the master made no attempt to find himself a bride. To the contrary, he ended up sheltering his girlfriend in a guest house we referred to as the “cottage,” spending all his time over there and shirking his duties as a result.

After that situation dragged on for six years straight, the servants were starting to get fed up with his behavior. No, even worse—we had reached the point of resignation. Despite the pessimism running rampant through the manor, however, my own dedication to honing my skills never faltered.

Then, at long last, all my hard work paid off!

Rohtas announced the good news at a morning meeting among the servants.

“Master Fisalis is engaged to be married. His bride is to be the eldest daughter of the Euphorbia family—a girl by the name of Viola. I ask that you all put your whole heart into serving her. Regarding her lineup of attendants, I’ve put Dahlia and Mimosa in charge of leading the team. Lady Viola is still quite young, so I imagine she would be happier with a maid closer to her age; in which case, I feel quite confident I can leave the task in Mimosa’s hands.”

Rohtas glanced over at me with a smile. Dahlia gave a vigorous nod of agreement.

In that moment, I had gained the acknowledgment of Rohtas—the flawless butler—and Dahlia—the embodiment of the perfect maid. I was so overcome with joy that it took me some time to come back to earth.

* * *

I met my new mistress for the first time a year later, on her wedding day. I had been called upon to get her ready for the ceremony—but I must say, I was quite amazed by her unassuming sort of charm.

At a first glance, she was nothing more than a nondescript, run-of-the-mill noblewoman, but there was a quick-witted gleam to her glittering, sapphire-blue eyes. Even without makeup, she had clean features; with a touch of polish, I could no doubt transform her into a stunning gem. Her hair and skin both had a silky sheen to them too.

It was love at first sight.

All of us servants used to frown and question the master’s tastes, but...goodness, what a diamond in the rough he had managed to find!

Bonus Short Story: An Account from Rohtas the Butler

“I know this is sudden, but I’m thinking about getting married.”

I’d been summoned to Master Fisalis’s study, a room which hadn’t seen any use in quite a long time—and as soon as the master turned up to meet me, he dropped that bombshell straight into my lap. I was so shocked by the announcement that, for a fleeting moment, I froze up completely.

No matter what wonderful marriage prospects his father—or anyone else, for that matter—had brought to him before, he had adamantly refused to nod his head. And now he was thinking about finding himself a bride?

However, Master Fisalis presently and indefinitely had a lover of his own, one who resided in a guest house located on the premises. Not only had he shown little interest in breaking off relations with her, but he was living with her in all but name. Where did marriage fit into that picture?

“Are you planning to cut your ties to your companion in the cottage, then?” I ventured to ask, despite knowing how presumptuous a question it was.

“Surely you jest! The marriage will be only for appearance’s sake, of course. My bride is to be the daughter of the Euphorbia family. In case you were wondering, I’ve already gotten Callie’s permission for this,” the master responded with the utmost nonchalance. Surely I wasn’t the only one to think him a monster after hearing that.

“Is that right?” I replied with a deliberate air of indifference, putting a lid on my inner thoughts.

“Though I hesitate to call it a bridewealth in this scenario, I’ve agreed to take over her family’s debt. I’ll leave those arrangements to you.”

That single remark was all I needed to confirm that this was indeed a mere contract marriage—one she had agreed to in exchange for clearing her family’s debt.

“Very well, sir.”

With a silent bow, I left the study.

I returned to my own office and began calling upon those skilled at conducting investigations to look into several matters of import: What was the history of the Euphorbia family? How much was their debt? What kind of girl was their daughter?

We had to find these answers as soon as possible. I lived by the motto: “eliminate any and all threats to the Fisalis family.” If I discovered anything that seemed even the slightest bit suspicious, I had no qualms about making it so this engagement never even happened.

* * *

However, my worries turned out to be for nothing.

The Euphorbia family was indeed poor, but their reputation was largely positive. The earl was a good-natured man, and his wife had a good head on her shoulders. As for the debt, it wasn’t one of their own making—admirably enough, it was a burden they had taken on to save their own citizens. Of their three children, the eldest was Master Fisalis’s fiancée—but seeing as she rarely showed her face in high society, it was a struggle to find much information regarding her character. Neither were there any unsavory rumors floating around about her, however, so there likely wasn’t anything to worry about.

Seeing as she had agreed to such fiendish conditions to save her family from their crushing debt, surely she must have been the heroic sort.

Despite the sympathy I felt for my yet-unknown madam, I arranged for her bridewealth. When I met her in person, I learned that it was not exactly with a heavy heart that she had accepted the conditions and that she was quite the independent, lovely young lady. Never mourning the situation she had found herself in, she spent her days milling about with a positive attitude—the sight of which always brought me great relief. Before long, I had found a new motto to live by: “by our powers combined, let us servants strive to protect the sight of our madam joining our ranks and prancing about the mansion each day with a smile on her face.”