Side Story

I Wish I Could Go Back and Tell Myself I Did Well, But Also Punch Myself

When Viola fell into some sort of depression after she accidentally broke a vase in the entryway, Rohtas and the staff quite intelligently sent her for some rest and relaxation at her parents’ home. Even though the vase in question was not one of a kind or even particularly valuable, it seems she felt personally responsible for replacing it. For my part, I was more concerned that she was not injured than I was about reimbursement. I wanted to take care of her the same way she took care of the things she owned.

I wanted to confirm for myself that she was unharmed, but more than that, I did not want to be separated from her for too long, so I traveled to the Euphorbia residence to pick her up. The relaxed atmosphere and familiar surroundings seemed to have done their job, and Viola appeared to be back to her usual self when I arrived. The only thing standing in the way of eagerly taking her home was her brat of a brother.

Her little brother grabbed her hand and whined, “Nooo! Are you going home, Vivi!?” as he started to cry. Seeing this, her little sister latched onto her too.

I wasn’t worried too much about her sister, but I knew Viola wouldn’t be able to shake off her brother once he got his little claws in her, literally or figuratively. I was certain the little cretin had planned it, as evidenced by the smirk he gave me while clinging to Viola’s skirt as she asked if she could stay the night! I wanted so badly to be mad at him, but it turns out I’m a fool for Viola’s sapphire blue eyes, and the little cretin had them, too.

I had no choice but to admit defeat.

“...Fine... But please do actually come home tomorrow, then, okay?”

“I will! Thank you!” Viola’s smile when I relented was even more lovely than a freshly bloomed flower. I couldn’t take it! I felt my face heat up at the rare sight of her so vulnerable, but the moment my gaze shifted to her brother and his smug little grin, I regained my bearings. As if I’d let Viola stay here long-term!

I shook my head and let out a sigh.

“I’ll come back for you tomorrow on my way home from work,” I told her. I would have been annoyed to have to go pick her up after I got home, changed, and ate, so I’d just do it on the way back.

“Ehh? You don’t need to come all the way here just to get me. I can still make it home in time if I walk.”

“How could you suggest such a thing!? I’m going to come pick you up, so please, just stay right here!” Not only are you my lovely, dear Viola, but more importantly, you are the lady of the Fisalis house! Not to mention, we’d be all over the front pages if you got kidnapped. Granted, if by chance you are kidnapped, I’m confident that I could take out the guilty party single-handedly. Then again, I doubt the servants would ever let that happen in the first place.

Anyway.

I’d gotten what I’d come there for—confirmation that Viola was unharmed—so I returned home alone.

The next day, however, I made an unplanned detour back to the manor as a direct result of a subpar message by a certain butler. After a quick change of clothes and equally fast meal, I rushed off to the Euphorbia residence.

This time, I successfully left with my wife in tow, even though it meant refusing an offer to relax and have some tea. What, did you think I was going to give that little imp a second chance to ruin my plans?

Not only was said wife fully recovered, but she was also in happy enough spirits to rush over to me when I arrived. She never does this at home! Obviously this action much improved my mood.

In the carriage on the way home:

“Thank you for thinking of repairing my parents’ house. I had no idea you’d that, so apologies for the late thank-you. The loan was part of the initial contract, but I didn’t know you’d repair the house, too,” Viola said, suddenly sitting up straighter, but then hanging her head once she was done.

Repair the house? The hell is she talking about?

Nothing came to mind right away, and Viola took notice of the confused expression I must have been wearing.

“Mr. Fisalis?”

“Oh, er, sorry.”

But then I suddenly remembered something from half a year prior.

“What’s the matter?” she asked with one of her adorable head-tilts. She’s too cute for her own good. But it’s tearing me apart that I can’t be happy with her because I’m not sure what she’s talking about.

I finally managed to pull up something from the back of my mind, however.

House repairs... the Euphorbia family... Ohhh, she must be talking about the order I gave Rohtas. I told him that for totally selfish reasons. It wasn’t something she should be impressed by.

Viola frowned, apparently thinking that I couldn’t accept her compliment.

“Well, no, I hadn’t planned to... How do I put it? It was an easy decision to make when I realized it would make you happy.”

“My whole family is very pleased. I can’t thank you enough!” It hurt to see how carefree her smile was when I lied to her.

“Oh?” I responded curtly. I had to turn away from her radiant smile, so I looked out my window and said nothing more.

—

It happened not that long after we got married. I had to leave on a business trip as soon as the wedding was over.

I was supposed to marry her six months after we announced our engagement, but I ended up having to embark on a campaign as a result of the deteriorating relationship between the Kingdom of Flür and its southern neighbor, so the wedding was ultimately postponed for an entire year. I thought nothing of Viola at all back then, so I didn’t really care if she had to wait.

I abandoned Viola for almost a year, even though she was my fiancée. As far as her family’s debt was concerned, Rohtas looked into it and paid it back in full, but other than that, I was completely out of the picture. The wedding was held once the situation with the neighboring kingdom had settled, but...

“Is there something that can be done about the state of the Euphorbia house?” I had asked Rohtas bitterly when I was informing him of my upcoming business trip.

“The state of it, sir?” Rohtas said back with a raise of an eyebrow.

“Yes. Anyone even walking by on the street could see that it’s in shambles,” I told him, remembering when I first set foot in the Euphorbia home to negotiate... er, deliver the contra—, I mean, to propose.

The outer walls of the house, made of valuable, once-white stone from the Lebourre region, were unrecognizable: overgrown with moss and crumbling apart. Ivy that had been allowed to grow unchecked wrapped around the house like a net, and the paint on the wooden window frames was even peeling off! It would have been absurd to call the green space I was shown through a garden—it was more like an untended field. The whole place practically screamed ‘poor.’

A spotless house, free from even the smallest speck of dust. A carefully maintained exterior that doesn’t show its age. Elegant gardens and terraces, diligently grown and looked after by only the best gardener. I’d been raised to think these things were the norm. That’s just how it seemed to someone like me—someone with wealth, who lived day-to-day with not a want in the world.

“I agree that they seem to lack sufficient staff, but there’s a certain... rustic charm to their home that may be worth appreciating,” Rohtas said, clearly holding his tongue. I, for one, couldn’t see anything to like about the place.

“I would be terribly ashamed if my parents’ manor looked like that for even a second. Arrange for the Euphorbia house to be repaired.” It was well-known in social circles that the Euphorbias were poor, but it was disgraceful that they continued to be perceived as such now that they were my relatives.

“What would you have me do?” Rohtas asked, looking for instruction.

“Give them some money and make them fix the place.” Unsurprisingly, my immediate response was to tell him to throw money at the problem. But...

“That would be exceedingly rude, Master,” he objected.

“Why? The reason they haven’t fixed it is because they don’t have any money, right? So just give them some money and the problem is solved. What’s stopping you?”

“That would be inconsiderate. Madam would be hurt if she found out.”

“So?” Regulating Calendula’s temper was my top priority; I didn’t care one way or another if my show wife was happy or not. “Just do something about that house, understood?” I gave Rohtas my final order, not without irritation. I couldn’t understand why he was sparing a thought for Viola.

“...As you wish,” he replied emotionlessly, schooling his expression.

Thus, I ordered Rohtas to tell the Euphorbias to repair their house, and left for my business trip in a rush.

—

“I dispatched Bellis and his men to the Euphorbia residence. I told them to spare no expense.”

This I read in a report from Rohtas, one week later after I returned from my business trip. I knew he was talking about the repairs to the Euphorbia house. I scowled. This was not quite what I’d told him to do.

“They needed labor? The money wasn’t enough?”

“Yes. I thought it would be poor manners to just give them money, so rather than offer financial assistance, I sent something more... personal.”

“Hmph. Fine. How’s progress, then?”

“It’s going to take some time, but the place already looks considerably better. We cannot do much at once, lest we awaken the rumor mill, so we will complete the project just a bit at a time.”

“I see.” Everything should work out fine so long as Rohtas is at the helm.

“Will you be going to see it for yourself?”

“Me? To the Euphorbia house? Why would I?”

“It was merely a suggestion.” If it was just a suggestion, then don’t sigh like that.

“...Carry on, then.”

“...Understood.”

—

An uncomfortable silence fell over Viola and I in the carriage when she stopped talking, too. I stared absentmindedly through the glass at the house I’d tried so hard to avoid.

Now that I think of it, I haven’t gone anywhere near the Euphorbia house since my proposal. Now that I’ve called on them a second time, and since Viola brought it up, I get the feeling that the house has been completely overhauled. Even though I didn’t get a chance to see much, since I was so focused on her.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined that my feelings for her would change this much.

After that point, once I’d refused to go see the progress for myself, Rohtas never said anything more to me about the repairs. It was dusk the next time I went back to pick up Viola, so I couldn’t clearly make out the extent of the renovations. But seeing how pleased she was there in the carriage, I assumed the work on the house had been acceptable.

I wish I could go back and tell myself I did a good job, insofar that I had made Viola happy. Good on you, noticing the sorry state of her parents’ house! She’s never been this happy over anything you’ve done for her before!

But on the other hand, I think I’d also succumb to the urge to give myself a solid thrashing. What was it I had to be ashamed of? What was I thinking, trying to throw money at them? Just offering them cold financial assistance wouldn’t have made Viola happy. And not even just her—it had disrespected her entire family’s sense of pride.

Oh, hell, I was a right bastard back then.

Viola has come around to me now since Rohtas cleverly thought to disguise the financial help as something more personal. It pains me to admit this, but I can’t compare to him. Nor to the servants. I can’t begin to explain how frustrating it is that Viola’s opened up to them but not to me! They have something I don’t...

I have always thought of my own interests first. The servants think of Viola’s interests first.

...That’s it!

I wanted to make the Euphorbias repair their house because it embarrassed me.

Viola and her family think I fixed their home to make it more comfortable for them.

I see now. That notion hadn’t even occurred to me.

That’s what happened back on our date, too. My own idea of a good time didn’t make her happy. But once I asked the servants who knew her well and came to understand her point of view, she really liked what I did with the cottage and the flowers we used to replace the vase.

Oh! I think I’m onto something!

Viola doesn’t get anything out of just being showered with money and presents. What she wants is thought and consideration!

My eureka moment pulled me out of my thoughts and back into reality. I looked at Viola, sitting across from me.

...She’s sound asleep. What gives?

Her head rolled to and fro with the movement of the carriage as she slept in silence. I thought it a shame that she was asleep, since we could be talking if she wasn’t, but I figured letting her guard down enough to take a nap in front of me was real progress.

Besides, I get to see what she looks like asleep again! Mimosa would tattle on me to Rohtas if she saw... but she’s not here now, is she?

If anything, compared to when Viola was awake and alert, she looked much more innocent and defenseless, as one would expect someone her age to be, when she was asleep.

Argh, how could I impose such cruel circumstances on a girl like her! I would for sure punch myself if I could go back in time.

Even a fiend like me has limits, I thought to myself.

It’s impossible to go back and punch myself, so my only choice is to repent for my past crimes and move ahead. I won’t make the same mistake twice! Making mistakes is to invite defeat, so... no, wait, this isn’t work. Oh well, at least I figured things out.

As I watched Viola asleep across from me, the carriage suddenly lurched and before I could even react, she hit her head on the wall. She woke up from the pain and groaned, sleepily rubbing at the spot that had made contact with the wall.

The series of events was so endearing that I couldn’t hold back my laughter.

“What did you... pffft!...do?

She still looked a bit drowsy, but had the presence of mind to realize she’d done something embarrassing and turned red.

“Ngh, I just got a little sleepy. Sorry,” she apologized.

Why does she think she needs to apologize? Granted, it was really, really cute from my end.

“No need to apologize. More importantly, is your head alright? No lump or anything?”

“I’m fine.”

“Good. We’ll be there soon. Everyone’s eager to see you home, so please don’t give them the impression you have a concussion.”

“Okay,” she smiled softly. It’s impossible for me to feel sad when she smiles at me like that.

Viola’s warm and welcoming aura seemed to cure my negativity.

I want to feel like this all the time. I want to do a better job of considering her feelings just so I can see her smile, I thought.