CHAPTER THREE

Let the Mutual Understanding Commence

The day after I managed to coax Kenta back to the real world, I arrived at the Yamazakis’ at seven AM sharp. The man himself was pacing around in the living room, already wearing his school uniform. It looked like he was all ready to go. His eyes were bloodshot, as if he’d been too nervous to sleep much last night. Or at all.

“’Sup? Looks like you didn’t get much sleep, huh?”

Kenta turned to look at me. He really did have a “That time I got reincarnated as a hippo” kinda panic.

“G-good morning, King… I couldn’t sleep, thinking about today…”

“So I see. Ah well. If I were in your shoes, I’m sure I’d be nervous, too. But we have a whole hour until we get to school. Let’s chat and see if we can get you prepared psychologically.”

“Huh? It only takes twenty minutes to get to school.”

“Yeah, by bicycle. But starting today, you’re walking. It’s only about four miles. Should take around an hour. Actually, I’d prefer it if you ran, but you’re so out of shape you’re liable to bust a knee. Now give me your phone.”

Kenta handed it over meekly. I grabbed it and started tapping.

“I’m downloading this running app I use myself. You can set it for walking, too. It gives you goal distances and times, so use it to keep your pace. It also records your movements. You’re going to send me a screenshot of the results page every day. No chance to slack off, get it?”

“…An hour? Th-that’s kind of a long time…”

“It’s a good pace for burning fat. You’ll soon get used to it. Anyway, it’s only walking. If you walk seven, eight miles a day, you’ll easily manage to bring your fitness levels up. By the way, I already walked like six miles to get here just to take you to school, and now I have to walk four miles back. So quit complaining.”

“…I’ll grab my stuff, King.”

After I said hi to Yumiko, we left the house together. The path through the rice fields didn’t have that same springlike “Ah, the joys of youth” vibe with Kenta like they did with Yua and Yuuko. Eh, it is what it is.

“Last night, you got me all fired up with that talk about three-dimensional boobies, but overnight I think I cooled down some… And now I wonder if maybe I was right, that it’s going to be too tough for me…”

As we walked, Kenta began whining.

“Also, I took a look at that training plan you messaged me with last night… It looks like torture, but I guess I can give it a go… It’s just…”

The basic plan of action I had set up for Kenta went like this: morning weight lifting followed by a protein shake. Lunch and dinner would be tofu noodles, plus chicken soup with a ton of veggies. No other food. And for drinks, only water, tea, black coffee, and black tea without milk or sugar.

By the way, tofu noodles are a super-handy diet food; you can buy them at any convenience store. Like the name indicates, they’re mostly made of tofu, so they’re low-carb while still being filling. And they give you a good hit of protein for only around a hundred calories per meal. Perfect. The rest of the nutrients come from the veggies in the soup. I gave Yumiko careful written instructions so she knew what to cook for Kenta.

For the weight training, I was going to have Kenta do a thirty-minute fitness challenge catered toward total beginners. If I threw him in at the deep end with a hard-core training routine, he’d probably injure himself. A beginner’s course would be more than challenging enough for someone who usually avoided all physical activity.

“Just relax. I calculated everything based off your height and starting weight. Just do what I tell you to do, and weight loss is assured. Anyway, I’m not trying to make you skinny. We just need to get you back to where you were before you started skipping school. The things I really want you to focus on are your social skills and your communication skills.”

Kenta nodded obediently.

“But I haven’t been to school in three months. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to walk back into the classroom…”

“Well, don’t worry about that, because hardly anyone even knows who you are. Look, to be honest, you don’t even register on anyone’s radar. You’re lucky that the new school year just started, and you’ve already been assigned to a whole new class. This way, nobody even missed you, and I can assure you there’s zero gossip going on about you not coming to school.”

“I…I kinda knew that, but hearing you say it all out loud makes me feel like crap…”

“That said, there’s a few students who’ve realized we’ve got an empty desk in class. So technically, that does count as a rumor, but nothing too serious. I do think there’s a few kids who were in your class last year as well. But it’s not a problem. We’ll just play it by ear. Today, at any rate, you’ll be with me, Yuuko, Yua, Kaito Asano, Kazuki Mizushino, Haru Aomi, and Yuzuki Nanase. All the members of Team Chitose. So you can try to develop your social skills with us.”

“Wow, those are all the most popular kids in our grade. Everyone in school knows their names… You really are the king, King. But to be honest, I’m not confident I’m gonna be able to hold a conversation with kids like them…”

“You’ve got it wrong. These are all the popular kids who I can vouch for personally. No matter how awkward or dorky you act, they’ll be fair to you. None of them will try to put you down or look down their noses at you. There’s not a bully or a jerk in the whole bunch. Think of this as a training level. No ‘game overs.’ Just relax and give it your best shot.”

“…Feels more like I’m being thrown straight to the final boss.”

“Good. Once you’ve conquered the final boss, you can handle the slimes and goblins with ease.”

We were strolling along. I was feeling fine, but Kenta was already starting to huff and puff a little.

“S-so I guess I should make sure not to mention anime or light novels, right? Otherwise, they’ll think I’m gross.”

I was kinda impressed—not everyone can maintain such a tiny voice when they’re out of breath, too.

“You really are an idiot. Why would you have to hide your interests? Popular kids and otaku aren’t all that different, you know. Besides, what else have you even got to talk about, hmm?”

“But…I’m not confident I can read the room… What if I say the wrong thing?”

“I hate that expression. Read the room. It’s just a way people have of trying to suppress individualistic expression.”

“Yeah, but it’s true… If I want to be popular, I need to know how to gauge the mood of the group, right? And fit in?”

Kenta was looking up at me quizzically.

“Just forget about reading the room altogether. It’s far too broad a guideline to be of any use. I told you that there are different types of popular kids. Stop making assumptions. Don’t look at us all and think we’re a bunch of pretentious jerks with some kind of hive mind. Use your own judgment; don’t just rely on your own preconceptions.”

I don’t know how it is in adult society these days, but in our school, there’s a crazy amount of labeling and categorizing going on. All of it is so cynical and negative.

For example, pretentious. That word originally came about to criticize people who act better than others, but now it’s thrown at anyone who actually puts effort into bettering themselves.

I’m not here to excuse people who diss the first category, either, but putting down people in the second category doesn’t sit well with me especially. It’s just jealousy, the whole crabs-in-a-bucket mentality. You slap a label on someone so you can mock them and try to drag them back down to your level. All so you can feel better about yourself even though you’re not doing anything to improve your own lot in life. I think that’s a pretty pathetic, meaningless way to live.

I continued.

“For example, it’s definitely important to be careful not to say things that would upset someone else who’s maybe feeling down or sensitive about something. But holding back your opinions just ’cause you know they differ from the majority, or hiding the things you’re into because they’re not mainstream, or putting too much stock in the whole adage about how the nail that sticks up gets hammered down… I think that’s making a huge mistake. Everyone’s an individual and should feel free to be themselves. It’s so much more interesting if everyone allows themselves to be unique, right? So assert yourself. Say what you believe is right, talk about the things that excite you, and own it.”

I paused for breath, turning to look at Kenta.

“People who get the wrong idea about that and focus only on blending in—eventually, they’ll blend in so well they might as well not be there at all.”

Well, in my case, I read the room first, and then I use that to figure out how best to present myself. But that concept seemed a bit beyond Kenta.

“Being mindful of others and living your own way… Those are two separate things. Is that right?”

“Yeah, more or less.”

“Well, can’t you teach me some basic techniques for conversation?”

“If I taught you them now, you’d only panic and get it wrong when the time comes, and I’d have to remind you anyway. So we may as well wait.”

“Whatever you say, King.”

8:10 AM. Kenta and I were standing in front of the classroom for Year Two, Class Five. Through the window in the door, I could see that the other members of Team Chitose were all in attendance already. Homeroom started at eight thirty, but Kura was often late, so usually it was more like 8:35. In the twenty-five minutes we had available, Kenta’s fate would be set.

“K-King… I’m sorry, but my stomach hurts all of a sudden. May I go to the nurse?”

“Oh, quit whining and get it together.”

“It’s the first day, so perhaps I should just take a quick peek and then leave…come back tomorrow…”

“Listen to me, Kenta. If you’re really going to change, then this is the moment. It’s all a mental game. All you have to do is make up your mind and take that first step. Then your life really will begin to change.”

Kenta seemed to be ruminating over what I was saying.

“But the people who tell themselves: ‘I’ll change when this happens or when the timing’s right…’ They’re kidding themselves. The right time will never come. You’ll just keep on making fresh excuses. And your initial enthusiasm will fade. You’re just putting things off until one day you die. But if that’s how you want to live, then be my guest.”

“So if I decide to change right now… Then just making that decision will mean I’ve started changing already?”

I smiled. “Exactly. Come on; it’s time.”

I slung my arm around Kenta’s shoulder and opened the door.

“Morning, all!”

Kaito, Kazuki, Haru, and my other classmates all turned toward us. Instantly, question marks popped up above each of their heads. Metaphorically, of course.

“This is Kenta Yamazaki—he hasn’t been in school since January. I, Saku Chitose, have convinced him to finally come back and join our class. A round of applause, everyone!”

…Clap, clap, clap.

Several people clapped hesitantly, prompted to do so by the energy in my voice. But it was clear they didn’t really know what to make of the odd couple who had just waltzed in. They were all exchanging looks that basically said, “Who the heck is that?”

It goes without saying that Kenta was more bewildered than any of them. And alarmed. His lips were flapping soundlessly. It was as if he wanted to say, “King! Are you sure you meant to say that just now?!”

Ignoring him, I continued.

“And just FYI, the reason he hasn’t been coming to school is that the princess of his otaku group—the object of his affection—hooked up with the group’s prince instead of our boy Kenta. Yikes. I know I wouldn’t have been able to come to school again if I knew my classmates found that out about me. So be extra-nice to him, okay? He’s still mentally fragile.”

Kenta had gone as pale as milk. He was gazing at me in absolute horror.

“K-King?!” he hissed. “Are you in demon mode right now?! Did you really have to say all that? No one knew about my situation, but now that you’ve told them, I’m going to be the biggest joke in class!”

“Exactly. Just roll with it and watch what happens.”

…

…

“Aw, Chitose, you shouldn’t have said all that. Don’t worry, as a class, we’ll all agree to pretend we never heard it. Let’s just rewind and go back to two minutes ago, okay?”

It was Nanase who broke the awkward silence.

Then everyone in class began to chuckle.

As if on cue, Kazuki leaned in and started talking to Kenta like they were old buddies. “Saku, our resident airhead, tends to put his foot in his mouth sometimes, doesn’t he? It happens more than you think. Kenta, you should head on in and take your seat, before Saku exposes any more of your personal secrets.”

Kaito grinned and started joking around to keep the mood light. “By the way, this otaku group princess… Is she real? Like, a cute girl who actually likes anime and stuff? Does she cosplay for you? You got any pictures? I need pictures, dude.”

Haru laughed and jumped in, too. “Geez! Just ignore them, Yamazaki. But seriously, though, how cute are you? You couldn’t come to school ’cause you were heartbroken? Aw! You know, if Kaito was going to quit school every time he got shot down, he’d never be able to come to school again! He tries it on everything in a skirt and strikes out every time!”

Haru’s bright smile and teasing tone helped to lift the general mood of the class even higher.

“King, what’s going on…?” Kenta blinked at me in confusion.

“I told you—you’re gonna be a joke. That will endear everyone to you way more than it would if you tried to hide the truth and acted all shady about where you’ve been. It’s better to make fun of yourself and invite everyone else to join in. Wear your weakness with pride, and it’ll make everyone feel more at ease around you.”

I clapped Kenta on the back as I muttered this to him, sotto voce.

“But don’t be all tense about it. Act like it was no big thing. Be matter-of-fact about it. Go on.”

Kenta took a deep breath, and then in a tremulous yet determined voice, he took a step forward. “Ah yeah, well, she was really cute, though. She would always share her nuggets and fries at McDonald’s. And she’d offer you a sip of her soda and stuff. She lent me a handkerchief at summer Comiket, and she said I didn’t even have to give it back afterward. She was super kind. That’s why I fell for her.”

Kaito immediately responded to that.

“Oh, I totally get it! She sounds like a real nice girl. Any guy would fall for that type. What do you think, Haru?”

“Uh, what? You boys are so naive. I mean, maybe she gave away her fries and soda because she was on a diet. And the handkerchief thing… I mean, if I lent you a towel, Kaito, I sure wouldn’t want it back!”

“What?!”

“’Cause it would be all stinky from your sweat! I’d rather you buy me a brand-new one than give the same one back!”

“But I thought girls liked the scent of a man’s sweat?!”

Kaito and Haru had picked up Kenta’s conversational ball and run off with it.

And Kenta was looking stricken.

“What’s up?”

Kenta mumbled sadly as he watched Kaito and Haru continue to joke back and forth.

“I…I guess I look like I stink, after all…”

Ah, I see, so that’s how he took that.

“Haru isn’t the type to diss someone based on how they look. Anyway, she said it to Kaito, not you. Giving him a hard time, to her, is like saying good morning or how are you. It’s just her way of being friendly. It shows familiarity. You wouldn’t want to hang out with someone who didn’t have any capacity for in-jokes or banter, would you?”

“There wasn’t any banter or in-jokes in my otaku group…”

“That just means everyone was too scared of offending the others or hurting someone’s feelings. And they didn’t have enough confidence in themselves to expect that others wouldn’t turn on them eventually. It takes time to get to know people, sure, but a little good-natured teasing and banter brings people together. Does it look like Haru and Kaito seem afraid of offending each other?”

“No… They look like good friends.”

“Right. Banter forms strong bonds. It shows that what’s between you is strong enough to handle being tested a little. It’s real communication, no walking on eggshells or blowing smoke up each other’s asses.”

Kenta still didn’t seem fully convinced, so I continued.

“You want friends who get all red in the face and offended just ’cause you teased them a little? You want friends who only speak in trite platitudes? Does that sound like a good relationship to you?”

True, it’s a fine line to walk, between banter and bullying. A lighthearted joke, coming from a popular kid, might end up being taken as a serious jab by an unpopular kid.

Of course, you should be careful not to presume. But if you get too hung up on hurting the other person’s feelings even a little, you’ll never get anywhere.

You have to think about the intention behind the words. Is it kind, or is it malicious? It’s good to work on cultivating the ability to tell the difference.

“You heard Kazuki call me the resident airhead just before, didn’t you? If I got all butt-hurt and started yelling ‘Who are you calling an airhead, asshole?!’ would that retroactively make Kazuki a jerk? Just ’cause of the way I took it?”

Kenta rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

“…No, I’d think you were the one who couldn’t take a joke.”

“See? Unpopular kids tend to let their own insecurities color every interaction they have. I mean, straight-up bullying is always a dick move, but sometimes a person really is just trying to playfully tease, and the other person misunderstands and blows everything out of proportion. Remember what I said about the fundamentals of making conversation?”

“You said it’s about trying to get to know the other person…and wanting them to get to know you.”

“Precisely. If you get to know them well, you’ll be able to tell whether they’re trying to put you down, or if they’re just teasing you in a loving manner. It’s a mark of trust, the ability to identify that key difference. When it’s friendly teasing, the best thing to do is tease right back.”

“But…what if they really are trying to be mean?”

“Then you crush them. Don’t worry, I’ll be there to back you up if that happens.” I clapped him on the back again, a little harder this time.

“Go on, try teasing Kaito and co. But think loving teasing. Loving teasing.”

Blinking rapidly, Kenta took a step forward, toward the rest of Team Chitose.

“I…I have a feeling my sweat stinks less than Asano’s at least.”

“Aw, man! My sweat has floral top notes! It’s a complex bouquet!”

Grinning, Haru picked up the conversational ball that Kaito passed and threw it back. “Chitose and Mizushino may be all right, but you, Kaito? You’re the typical sweaty, stinky jock!”

Kenta seemed to have gathered together some courage.

“I actually, uh, have this cologne that’s supposed to resemble the scent of teenage girls…”

“Really, Kenta? Let me get a sniff of that later!”

“Ew, you guys are too much! If you wear that stinky cologne to school, I’ll hose you down in the schoolyard!!!”

There, they were playing a good game of conversational ball. The two of them had naturally stood aside a little, making a space in the Team Chitose circle for Kenta.

Yuuko reached out and poked Kenta in the chest. Stop that.

“Kentacchi, later on I’ll show you how to style your hair with wax.”

Yua was smiling kindly at Kenta, too.

“Yamazaki, sorry I couldn’t come yesterday because of club practice. I’m glad to finally get to see you in person, though! Will you lend me a good light novel sometime?”

“Thank you both, I—”

“Aw, no need to thank us! Welcome to Year Two, Class Five! Welcome to Yuuko Hiiragi’s Angels!”

“Exactly. Welcome to the class!”

Kenta blinked, blushing as these two beautiful girls welcomed him.

I debated kicking him in his nasty little ass, but I managed to control myself.

“All right, guys, take your seats.”

It was 8:35 AM, and Kura entered the room right on cue. His gaze flicked briefly over to Kenta and me. Giving me a quick “Seems you succeeded, then,” kind of look, he headed on over to take up his position behind the teacher’s lectern.

“I’m gonna take the roll call.”

Everyone took their seats, chirping “Present!” as their names were called.

Haru Aomi, Kaito Asano, Saku Chitose, Yuuko Hiiragi, Kazuki Mizushino, Yuzuki Nanase, Yua Uchida…

“Kenta Yamazaki.”

“P-present! I haven’t been to school since final semester last year, but I’m back now. I’m, uh, Kenta Yamazaki. Y-Yuuko cut my hair like this for me. And Kin…er, Chitose said I look like a hippo emerging from a pond with weeds on my head. It’s nice to finally meet you all!”

Kenta had taken it upon himself to stand up and introduce himself to the class.

I grinned to myself.

Not bad, not bad, Kenta. You learn fast.

There was an awkward pause of about three seconds before the class erupted in laughter.

Standing up to introduce himself in the middle of roll call was a dorky move, the kind of move that highlighted an inability to, as they say, “read the room.” But at the same time, he’d name-dropped both Yuuko and me—and even made a joke. Everyone in class therefore felt comfortable giving him the laugh he was fishing for. I don’t really like it, but I can’t deny that name-dropping a popular kid’s name is always effective. By letting everyone know that Yuuko had cut his hair, and that I had been there to witness it, he went from potentially being seen as a greasy shut-in to a lovable goofball character instead. The whole class seemed to make up their minds about him in an instant, quickly adopting him as one of their own.

After harboring all that jealousy and resentment toward popular kids, Kenta seemed to know better than anyone how useful it could be to borrow the popularity of others. Overall, his bold move had paid off, and it made him look self-secure and even masculine in the eyes of the class.

“Oh, I see. Well, take it easy until you’ve settled in. And if there’s anything you’re not sure about, see our class president. He’ll take care of it.”

“Kura! What have we told you about neglecting your duties as an educator, hmm?!”

At lunchtime, we sat down at the usual table. Over the course of a week, it had become “our” table. Of course, Kenta was invited to eat lunch with us.

“King, everyone’s staring at me…”

“Stop looking around. Just be cool. Act like you belong. I know we’re all good-looking, but there are tons of popular kids who aren’t conventionally handsome. Pretend you’re one of them.”

“But I can’t eat while I’m being stared at like this…”

“Who cares about them? They don’t matter. They can’t do anything for you, and they can’t take anything from you, either. They’ve got no skin in this game. Focus on the people who are willing to share their precious time with you right here, right now.”

Tremulously, Kenta pulled his lunch out of his bag. Yuuko’s eyes widened.

“What’s that, Kentacchi?”

“It’s…tofu noodles and chicken vegetable soup…”

Haru whirled around. “Whaaat?! Based on your size, you need more food than that, Yamazaki! You need to eat carbs, or you won’t have enough energy!”

“Er, I’m actually on a diet. King said I could eat only this.”

“King? Oh, you mean Chitose. Are you doing calories in, calories out? You have to exercise, too, you know!”

“King’s made up a training plan for me. I never usually exercise, but he said he’s taken that into account.”

Kenta showed Haru the training and diet plan I sent him on the LINE app. Haru leaned in to see, oblivious to the closeness between Kenta and her. Kenta, meanwhile, blushed.

“Whoa. Chitose, this is devilish. The poor guy doesn’t even have an athletic background, and he’s been in the house for however long, but you still have him doing hard-core workouts like this?”

I lifted my chin and put my hands on my hips, trying to look regal.

“Lowly Subject Haru. In this world, there is much happiness to be found in ignorance. Simply trust in the words of the king, and the way will become clear.”

It was cool, though. Sure, if I had Kenta doing three laps of the butterfly stroke in the River Sanzu, that mythical boundary between life and death, he would crack. But I wasn’t that cruel. In fact, I had spent a lot of time balancing my diet and workout plan. He’d survive.

By this point, though, Nanase and Yua had taken an interest in Kenta’s lunch, too.

“Dieting!”

“Good for you!”

“Well, butter my biscuits, keepin’ mah weight steady’s hard ’nuff, and here y’are a-fixin’ t’lose a whole barrel! Sounds right awful, it does!” (Translation: It takes all I’ve got just to keep from gaining, so to see you doing all that and actually trying to lose major weight! You must be having a terrible time of it.)

“Y’cain’t jus’ diet in secret’n show up outta the blue all skinny-like—’s kinda sneaky, if’n y’ask me. Y’gotta come out’n say it! We better keep up, y’all!” (Translation: You’re right, Yuzuki. But for me, I feel like dieting in secret and then showing up one day suddenly having lost weight… There’s something sneaky about that. It’s better to be up-front first! We’d better step up our game, too!)

Ah, they were doing that exaggerated Fukui accent thing again today. The retro version.

“But what made you want to start dieting, Kenta?” Kaito leaned in, looking curious.

“Uh… I want to show the girl who rejected me what she’s missing, I guess.”

“Ooh, are we talking about our love lives?” I said. “Yesss! Tell us everything, from start to finish, come on!”

Kenta shot me a look. I nodded in a “Knock yourself out” kind of way.

“Er… Well… I was in this otaku hobbyist group. We met via social media. We would hang out on weekends to talk about anime, light novels, stuff like that…and we went to Comiket together and other events and stuff. There were three boys, including me, and one girl.”

“That’s not many… I was picturing a bigger group somehow.”

“I guess there’s bigger groups in the major cities, but we’re in the sticks of Fukui, so there’s just fewer people in general.”

“So anyway, you fell for this girl?”

Kenta nodded. Kaito and the others were all listening intently.

“Her name’s Miki. You write it with the characters for beauty and princess. And she really was like the princess of our group. Of course, she can’t hold a candle to any of the girls sitting at this table… But otaku girls with even half-decent faces are super rare. We treated her like she was an idol.”

“Does she cosplay?” Kaito seemed really interested in that prospect, for some reason.

“Oh yeah. I mean, she was always in cosplay when we met up.”

Smiling, Kenta began naming some female characters from anime. Ones who even I had heard of.

Kaito leaned in, eyes wide.

“Really?! Okay, okay, I’m picturing it…’cept in my mind, I’m seeing Yuzuki and Ucchi in cosplay instead…”

““Jus’ geddidout!!!”” (Translation: Just get it out, in the Fukui dialect. Though whether this was said to encourage Kenta to continue with his story or was just them telling Kaito to erase his mental cosplay imagery, I can’t say.)

Those two were really quite the pair.

“Well, we weren’t that close at first. It’s obvious I was the worst-looking of the three of us guys, but one of the guys who was kinda average, like Miki—he became like our group leader. So she talked to him a lot more.”

Kenta took a sip of water before continuing.

“But then all of a sudden, it seemed like we were talking more and more. Not alone, but like, in a group setting, she started talking to me, and like I said before, she would offer me some of her soda or fries or whatever. And she started responding to stuff I said in our LINE group chat…”

“Wow, it sure sounds like she was into you. So you asked her out?”

“I started to think that maybe…there was a chance. And I already knew I liked her. So I took the plunge and invited her to meet me at a café…and told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. But…”

Kenta swallowed and hesitated, and I jumped in.

“She told him: ‘Excuse me? Are you delusional? I would never date someone like you. Don’t you even realize what your own social status is? Loser!’…”

Kaito and the others all gasped in horrified indignation.

“What?! Is she crazy?! What’s she talking about social status for? She was in the same nerd group you were! And who cares about social status when it comes to romance? Hasn’t this bitch ever heard of Romeo and Juliet?!”

Kaito slammed his fist down on the table as Haru rolled her eyes.

“I agree, Kaito, but when a meathead guy like you references Romeo and Juliet, it’s just painfully obvious you’ve never even read a single Shakespeare play.”

Romeo and Juliet were also from “two households, both alike in dignity,” but whatever.

Kenta chuckled a little. “That’s not all, though,” he said. “She was already dating the dude who was the leader of our group. She’d used me to make him jealous so he’d fall for her, since her other attempts weren’t working. That’s why she was chatting me up. I guess it worked for her…”

Kenta trailed off, clearly reliving the painful memories.

“…After that, they made a new LINE group chat without me, and they made fun of me and my reaction there. Actually, right after I asked Miki out, the leader and the other guy popped up out of nowhere and started saying stuff like ‘Have you ever looked in the mirror, loser?’ and stuff… I guess it was my fault for getting the wrong impression, though…”

“No, it wasn’t!”

Kaito slammed the table again, bubbling over once more. Now everyone in the cafeteria was looking at us.

“You were totally sincere! How dare they just take a giant crap on your feelings?! What a small-minded bunch of jerks! Hey, Kenta… Call them out this weekend! I’ll kick all their asses!”

Kaito looked ready to grab Kenta’s phone and dial up his ex-otaku buddies right then and there.

Kazuki put a soothing hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. “Just take it easy,” he said. “…Let’s put all the hotheaded machismo stuff aside and really think about this, okay? Seems to me the only thing to do is to become the best man you can be and make this girl eat her words. After all, isn’t that why Saku has taken you under his wing, Kenta?”

“Yes. I know I’ve been a weak loser…but I’m willing to try.”

Kenta smiled shyly, and that was when I knew he’d be fine. He’d get stronger, now that he’d really owned up to how weak he’d been.

Haru interjected then, putting her hand down in the middle of the table.

“You are not a weak loser, Yamazaki! They’re the losers.”

Nanase nodded, putting her hand down on the table on top of Haru’s. “I actually agree with Haru for once. If you follow Chitose’s instructions and do your best, you’re sure to become the best you can be. Then you can stick it to all of them. Okay?”

Kazuki and Kaito both slapped their hands down on the pile.

“Yeah, you have to rise above those jerks and become the better man. If you need any help with your training, you can come to me anytime, Kenta.”

“Same for me. We’ll leave the finessing up to Saku, but if there’s anything we can help you with, don’t hesitate to ask. In exchange, you can lend me some choice titles from your otaku collection…”

Haru rolled her eyes and smacked his hand.

Yuuko and Yua also put their hands on the pile.

“You’ll be fine as long as you just follow Saku’s instructions,” said Yuuko. “Saku will never let you down, Kentacchi.”

“But maybe lay off the whole ‘harem slut’ thing. Sooner rather than later,” Yua added.

They both grinned. I noticed that Yua’s free hand was clenched in a fist. Hope she didn’t plan to use it. Meanwhile, Kenta was sitting there looking like all his dreams had just come true.

“…There ya go. Training level over. It was easy, wasn’t it?”

I was the final one to add my hand to the pile. After hesitating for a second, Kenta finally placed his hand on top.

“Thank you for having my back, everyone… Was that the right thing to say, King?”

I grinned.

Then we all raised our hands in the air, cheering as one.

There, now it was official. He was endorsed by Team Chitose.

“…So what was that whole song and dance about?”

“Ah, you caught me.”

After lunch, we were on our way back to the classroom when Kazuki pulled me aside. Just like Nanase did last week. My luck was all over the place, it seemed.

“You weren’t exactly being subtle. Look, I don’t discriminate, but I do differentiate. That kid just isn’t the type that belongs in a group like ours. Sooner or later, he’s gonna realize that, too, suffer a massive inferiority complex, then have a complete breakdown.”

“Listen, I just forgot to explain things to you beforehand. I wasn’t trying to pull a fast one on you. I don’t have the energy for that.”

I gave Kazuki a brief explanation of the situation.

“Honestly, there’s a ton of other routes you could have gone down that didn’t involve him having to hang out with us. You could have gotten him hooked on Ucchi or Yuuko, used them as bait to bring him back. Or you could have just shamed him and lectured him into returning to school. This way…it just causes the most inconvenience for everyone, Saku.”

Kazuki almost seemed annoyed with me or something.

“Dude, I thought about all that. But it just didn’t seem right. It didn’t fit with my aesthetic.”

“Your ‘I am so great, and everyone loves me’ aesthetic?”

“Yeah. But it doesn’t sound as cool when you say it like that…”

Kazuki sighed deeply. “All right, all right. Whatever. If that’s what you need to do to feel good about yourself, then fine. You could have just said you felt bad for him and wanted to help him out of the goodness of your heart.”

“Well, I don’t. I only want to do it to boost my image. You don’t get an opportunity like this every day. I wanna be Saku Chitose, the class president who takes care of business and helps the teacher deal with his little problem student.”

“Right, but no one in class, no one in our group even, knew what you were doing. You want to show how superior you are? At least make sure people understand what the hell is going on. Otherwise, what’s the point of even doing it? Your actions are completely illogical, you know.”

Kazuki trailed off then and shrugged. His grin said he was willing to let all this slide.

“Have you ever turned down anyone’s request for help, brah?”

Man, he was pissing me off. Don’t “brah” me. You’re a Fukui country bumpkin like the rest of us.

I hoped that one of his fangirls stole his change of underwear during training so he had to walk home stinky.

“I don’t help out everyone I see who’s in trouble. Only the people who come directly to me.”

“So that means you assist everyone who asks you. You act like you’re such a cool guy, but you’re really a regular old Good Samaritan. And you’re so sneaky about it. Why can’t you just be more honest? Drop the tough-guy act. Maybe you’d have a few less enemies if you did that.”

“Ah, shut up, asshole. Don’t try to label me! Anyway, you’re always bending over backward to get people to like you, too. Can’t you see the irony, hmm?”

I was getting annoyed with this conversation, and I wanted to change the subject.

“I’m nice when it suits me. But you seem to have this Kenta kid fooled. No matter how nice you have us all act toward him, the social hierarchy still stands. You think he can change that just based on his tone of voice, his conversational skills, or what seat he takes at the cafeteria? Too bad, the social structure has already been solidified by this point. Second year is way too late to change that.”

“…Yeah, probably.”

Social structure this, social hierarchy that.

I’m so sick of it all.

I knew Kazuki himself didn’t really care that much about things like that. He was just speaking in broad terms here. But the school hierarchy in this Podunk Fukui town…had deep roots.

Kazuki kept on doggedly. “If he had any knack for this stuff, he’d have dealt with his issues himself. Locking himself in his room, avoiding school, and making excuses… That kind of thing just proves where his position in society ought to be.”

“I’m not arguing with you there.” I meant it, too. “What do you think of Kenta as a person, though, Kazuki?”

“Honestly? I don’t mind him. He’s pretty funny. I wouldn’t mind being casual school pals with him.”

I knew there was a but coming, so I stayed silent and waited for it.

Kazuki sighed.

“But…I don’t really want to hang out with him every day, like how I feel about you, Kaito, Yuuko, Ucchi, Yuzuki, and Haru. He doesn’t have that spark. He may be a novelty and a source of amusement now, but it’s going to get old fast.”

“Yeah, I know. I agree totally.”

I made that clear to Kenta himself, after all, didn’t I?

“But just picking something and setting your mind to do something… Don’t you think it’s kinda…cool and ‘hard-boiled’ of me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. I never do. Anyway, I prefer soft-boiled eggs myself.”

“Okay, let’s use your metaphor, then. You’ve got this runny egg in front of you… Don’t you wanna throw some soy sauce on that bad boy? Improve it some?”

“I usually cut off the tops and sprinkle on some salt, myself.”

“Let’s try another example. Say Yuuko and I were drowning in the sea, which one would you save?”

“Yuuko, obviously.”

“Even if the waters were filled with crocodiles and piranhas?”

“If the waters are filled with crocodiles and piranhas, you’re both on your own. I’ll light a candle for you sometime. If I remember.”

“…So that’s where you fall, huh?”

After school that day, I gave Kura a basic progress update up on the roof. Kura had only asked me to get Kenta back to school, so I guess it would be more accurate to call it a final report. Everything I was doing from this point forth was optional.

After hearing me out, Kura said, “You definitely went about this in the Saku Chitose way, didn’t you?”

“What do you mean by that?”

“OTT and overdramatic. Doing it for the look of it. You’re like a titty bar waitress in her thirties, wearing a school blazer and pretending she’s in her teens.”

“Are you trying to start trouble with me, sir?”

Kura cackled and blew a stream of Lucky Strike cigarette smoke out of his nostrils.

“Perish the thought. But I like a brazen titty bar waitress in her thirties who pretends to be a teenager for the laughs, rather than one in her twenties who almost seems embarrassed that she’s no longer in her teens. Being considered a hero is mostly nonsense, just meaningless optics. Unless you’ve got the skills to unleash a powerful surprise attack when the moment calls for it.”

“Meaningless optics?”

Kura narrowed his eyes. Maybe smoke got into them. I couldn’t read his expression.

“Not that I’m blaming your methodology. Getting sidetracked and taking the long route is where the real spice of life is to be found. After all, sometimes we have to move ahead faster than we want. While you’re young, you should take time for detours. Focus too much on getting to adulthood in the most efficient way, and you’ll end up an efficient adult with little in the way of character. You’ll end up versatile, functional, and entirely replaceable.”

“If only Kazuki were here to hear this.”

“Never mind him. He’s different from you. He’s the type to seriously consider whether a detour would mean something to him or if it would simply be a waste of time. Whether that’s the right decision doesn’t matter. He’ll end up like a mass-produced, consumable product.”

“Yikes, imagine a world flooded with mass-produced Kazukis.”

I slurped down some of the iced café latte I’d bought at the nearby convenience store. Thinking back over my spat with Kazuki earlier, I suddenly realized I wanted to get Kura’s opinion on something.

“Can I ask you something, Kura?”

“There’s still four days until payday. I’ve only got twelve bucks in my pocket. Can’t lend you what I don’t have, kid.”

Kura pulled a crumpled note and two coins from his suit pocket to show me.

“Geez, next you’ll be borrowing from us. But listen, Kura. What do you think about social hierarchy?”

“Hmm, that’s an unusually abstract question from you.”

Kura fell silent, sucking down his cigarette for a while before speaking again.

“To answer in equally abstract terms… Social hierarchy is inevitable. It’s our cross to bear, as human beings.”

“Our cross to bear, huh?”

“Living life your own way is flowery rhetoric that sounds good, but there aren’t many people out there who can go their own way in the society and times we live in, with the backgrounds we come from and the paths that are open to us. Most people never make the effort to recalibrate their moral compasses and social altimeters to try to understand what the inner landscapes of other people are really like.”

The tip of his cigarette let off a crackling sound as it glowed red.

“So instead we simply observe others and ask ourselves if what they’re doing is the thing we should all be doing or not. We want to drag everyone down to our level so we can reassure ourselves we’re in the right. We can’t relax unless we do that. Rather than strike out alone and risk failure, it’s better to fail as a group, relying on the safety and security of the herd. That’s how we live our lives, like herd animals.”

Kura stubbed out his stump of a cigarette in his pocket ashtray, then immediately lit up another one.

“But every now and then, you encounter people who are making their own path, people who never stop to wonder if what they’re doing is what’s normal or right. People like you, and Mizushino, too.”

It sounded like Kura was actually choosing his words thoughtfully for once.

“But people who are making their own path, not wondering if they’re in the right… That doesn’t mean they actually are in the right, now, does it?”

I remained silent, listening for the rest.

“When people come across someone like that, there’s a range of ways they react to them. If they feel like that person is coming from the same place as them, they’ll follow. Then you have the blind sheep who follow anyone who looks confident. But you also have those who simply observe, as well as those who seek to distance themselves as much as possible, claiming that person is simply misguided. Those differences lead to the construction of a social hierarchy. Only the ones in the lead get to set the standard that everyone else is supposed to reach.”

“…Somehow, I feel like your moral compass is more righteous than any other adult’s I know.”

“No one’s got a completely righteous moral compass. Certainly not you kids. We have to decide for ourselves what morality means to us. That’s all we have to go on.”

How did I get to this point, again?

The thought seemed to come out of nowhere.

My compass was pointing right up at the sky, probably.

Toward the moon… The moon I reached my hand up to that day…

Then Kura yawned, distracting me from my nebulous thoughts.

“Incidentally, I don’t really care whether I’m right. I’m not headed in any specific direction anyway. I just go with the flow, wherever the tide takes me. As long as the direction I’m headed in has booze, cigarettes, and titty bars, I’m fine with that.”

“Replace titty bars with women, and you’ll sound fifty percent less asshole-ish.”

I decided to stop thinking about the heavy stuff any further.

“Good job, though. It looks like you’re planning to stick with Yamazaki for a while longer. But from here on, you’re on your own, okay?”

Kura got to his feet with a “Hup!”

“You didn’t even give me any guidelines or advice to begin with.”

“I pointed you at the kid and gave you a simple instruction, and I thought that would suffice. Which it did.”

I got to my feet as well, swiping the dust off the seat of my pants.

“You’ll do anything to pass the buck, won’t you? I think it’s scandalous on the part of a so-called educator. Once your paycheck comes in, you should take Kenta and me to lunch to say thank-you—”

“Whoops! Almost time for my private session at the gentleman’s club!”

“Get back here, old man. It’s not even dark yet. And you’ve only got twelve bucks.”

“Listen, Chitose. You have something far more precious, far more valuable than money. You might not understand it right now, but someday…with the wisdom of age…”

“Don’t think you can distract me with some sappy ‘Youth is worth more than money’ talk.”

“…Ah, hello? Yes, I’d like to book a private room with Hitomi tonight at nine PM…”

“Hey! Are you seriously booking a call girl right now?!!!”

I sent Kenta a quick message saying “I’m done,” and he instantly responded with “I’m waiting by the school gates.”

I made sure I had all my stuff and then headed out of the school building. I could see Kenta standing by the school gates with his back to me. I already told him I’d walk home with him today, so we could go over his progress so far.

“The heck is wrong with you, man? The school gates? Why couldn’t you wait in the classroom? Meeting by the gates—are you a schoolgirl with a crush on me or something?”

“Ah, I just thought this would be the easiest landmark to meet at… I mean, I figured this way I’d be able to catch you if you forgot and tried to go home without me…”

“Forget the schoolgirl with a crush; you’re actually just a stalker. You could have just called me if it came to that.”

Kenta’s eyes widened, as if the thought had never occurred to him. Shaking my head, I started walking.

“So how did it go? Your first day back at school?”

“Uh, well. This probably sounds overdramatic, but I have to say…it was the kind of day that made me want to rethink my entire life up until this point…”

“You weren’t getting baptized in the Ganges River or anything. You keep saying stuff like that, and you’ll be easy prey for cultists and Ponzi schemers.”

“No, no, I really mean it, though. It’s like, wow, what kind of tiny, sheltered world have I been living in all this time, you know?”

“Oh yeah? …What do you mean, specifically?”

“Honestly… Popular kids are nice. No one tried to put me down, and none of them did any backstabbing or bitching about any other kids, either. They were super nice and welcoming even though I inserted myself into their group out of nowhere, and I look like…this. Everyone’s so…open-minded and earnest, and they even took my side when I told them about my personal problem… I mean, really, one day with them was already way more uplifting than all the times I spent with my otaku hobbyist group…”

Hearing Kenta say all this made me feel really good about dragging him out of his otaku den and pushing him back into the real world.

I’d been a little concerned about the possibility that exposing Kenta to popular kids might backfire and lead him to develop an inferiority complex, but it seemed like he’d really warmed to us. Good—that meant I could cut him loose sooner, and he’d be fine on his own. At any rate, the chances of him wanting to retreat to the safety of his bedroom seemed to have dropped dramatically.

“What about your conversational skills? That’s what you were worried about.”

“I can’t say it went smoothly or anything, but I managed to get through it! I asked questions like you said. And I tried to open up about myself, too, and find points in common. Communication, making conversation… It’s a legitimate skill, isn’t it?”

“…In other words?”

“I know you kept telling me it’s all about wanting to get to know the other person, King… But when I actually put those things into practice, the words just started flowing. I guess all I need is practice! The reason I always sucked at making conversation was because I got hung up on my own insecurities… I didn’t care to get to know others, and I feared them getting to know me then rejecting me…”

“Well, yeah. If you’re only using your conversational skills to find out about someone else’s interests, but you’re not actually interested in them, then it’s like trying to build a secure castle out of papier-mâché. It’s not the conversation that’s the objective. It’s improving relationships. If you’re not sincere, the other person will be able to tell.”

“…Before I met you, I don’t think I even thought that hard about sincerity. I was like, how do you make yourself seem sincere?”

“Good. Then at least you were questioning it.”

Kenta nodded, smiling. It looked like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders over the course of the day.

“I guess I’ve realized that complaining all the time and making excuses won’t ever lead to any kind of personal growth…”

In only one day, Kenta’s mindset had progressed this much. I was genuinely pleased to see it.

“…That’s one of your good points, Kenta.” I threw that out there as a casual, offhand remark.

“…One of my good points? What makes you say that?”

“You’ve got the ability to recognize where you’ve gone wrong and have taken steps to correct it. Until now, you’ve been way too entrenched in otaku culture. Of course, I’m not saying you have to abandon that mindset completely. It’s one way of seeing the world, after all. And I’m not saying that popular kids are always in the right.”

Kenta didn’t seem to realize I was trying to give him a compliment here.

But that was fine.

One day, Kenta would look back on this and be able to feel proud of how he’d grown.

Figuring there was no need to say any more on this topic, I changed the subject.

“By the way, Kenta… What did you think of the other members of Team Chitose? Who would you date if you had the option?”

Kenta blushed. “Wh-what?” He flailed. “…Wh-why would you ask me something like that, all of a sudden…?”

“Oh, relax. It’s a totally normal topic of conversation among kids like us. I’m ready to cheer you on, as long as it’s not someone I’m interested in myself.”

“Y-yeah, but… Uh…okay, then. If I had to pick someone…if I absolutely had to… You won’t tell her, will you? Okay, if I had to pick someone…it would be—”

“Oh, let me warn you first that Yuuko and Yua are already on my list. Sorry about that.”

“…Th-then, what about Nanase?”

“Sorry…”

“Aomi…?”

“Hate to inform you…”

“Then there’s no one left for you to cheer me on with!”

“Not true. You still have your pick between Kazuki and Kaito. Lucky you!”

“Aw, man…”

That weekend, on a sunny Saturday afternoon, Yuuko, Kenta, and I all met at the entrance to the Lpa mall. Kenta was in his school uniform as instructed, and Yuuko and I were wearing our regular clothes.

“King, Yuuko… Thanks for giving up your weekend time for me.” Kenta’s eyes kept darting about.

“No worries. This is actually a date between Yuuko and me, and us helping you pick clothes is kinda like if we were at an amusement park, and we wanted to go into the haunted house.”

“That’s right!”

“…Is the sight of me trying to improve my appearance really such a monstrous thing to you guys?”

Lpa was filled with little kids and their parents, junior high schoolers, high schoolers, college kids, grown-ups, old folks, the whole spectrum. I guess it was the weekend and all, but didn’t they have anywhere else to hang out?

“By the way, Kentacchi, have you lost a little weight?” Yuuko prodded Kenta’s chest and belly as she spoke.

“Uh, y-yeah. I’ve been weighing myself every day, and I’ve lost four pounds.”

Kenta was as jittery and nervous as ever, but I guess I could give him a pass today.

“Wow, you really must have been feeling the effects of staying inside all day. Four pounds in one week—that’s amazing! And you’ve even mastered how to style your hair with wax, like I showed you at school! Good job!”

…I take it back.

Yuuko was wearing a light, off-the-shoulder top with short-shorts. It was the kind of outfit that could look a little trashy, but she made it elegant with her sophisticated rose-gold necklace and pinkie ring—and her little leather shoulder bag. The top’s exposed neckline offered the faintest suggestion of cleavage, especially if she leaned forward. It was designed to kill a virgin instantly.

I leaned in to whisper in Kenta’s ear.

“Listen here, Kenta. Sometimes a man has to rise to the occasion, you know what I’m saying? And then other times, he needs to show serious self-restraint. You dig me?”

“S-s-stop it! You’re just making me even more aware of it! I was busy trying to steel my mind and count backward from a hundred, but now you’ve distracted me!”

Kenta whispered back to me, his face constricted.

I grinned and kept whispering.

“If you drop your wallet on the ground, maybe she’ll pick it up and give you a bird’s-eye view.”

“Stop it, King! Don’t say stuff like that!”

Yuuko tilted her head curiously as she observed us both. “What’s up?”

““Ahem!””

Frowning, Yuuko continued with what she’d been saying.

“Well, I was about to say that if you go changing any more, Kentacchi, you’ll lose all your Kenta-ness! I won’t be able to pick you out of a crowd!”

“Huh?”

I slapped Kenta on the shoulder. “Well, that’s why we’re here. To give Kenta a new style. And with his diet starting to take effect, it should be easy to spruce him up and make him presentable, at the very least.”

“For me, dressing up is about as difficult as making conversation… But I brought all of my savings with me today! I didn’t end up using any of my New Year’s gift money this year, what with being stuck in the house and all.”

Kenta whipped out his wallet, which was attached to his pants with a chain. It was covered in studs, with what looked like the design of a cross. Time (and money) was of the essence today, so I decided to just pretend I hadn’t seen it.

“Today we’ll be buying new glasses, some tops, pants, shoes, and a bag… The whole set from head to toe. Yuuko, where should we start?”

“Hmm, I think glasses first. It takes time to have them made up, and once we’ve got the right look for his face, that’ll guide us when choosing the rest of the outfit!”

“Okay, let’s start there.”

We headed into JINS, the eyewear store, and we all started looking through the selection for some glasses that would suit Kenta.

“Personally, I feel most comfortable in this style of glasses…”

““No.””

Yuuko and I were unanimous. The glasses Kenta had picked out were similar to the ones he was already wearing. They had thin metal frames.

“Those kinds of glasses are the standard type, but few people are actually suited for them. Maybe a really hot actor or a smart businessman in a nice suit could pull them off, but they’re too severe for your face. They just make you look geeky. Look, try them.”

Kenta put on the glasses and stared at himself in the store’s mirror. “Oh yeah, I see what you mean,” he mumbled.

“See? It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

Then I took the glasses off Kenta and put them on my own face.

“…Man, I really am hot. I look cool and studious in these.”

I took them off again and passed them to Yuuko.

“Man, I really am cute. I look like a hot teacher!”

“You two are messing with me.”

Kenta put his selection back, then accepted the pair Yuuko was holding out.

“If you want to look like a cool guy, you should go for a thicker black-plastic frame, I think! Here, try this Wellington model.”

“Hmm, I don’t know… They do look cool, but I feel like they look better on guys with more masculine faces…like, with some stubble. Kenta’s got pretty subtle features, so these might stand out too much. I think the Boston model would be better.”

“King, what’s Wellington? What’s Boston?”

“In layman’s terms, the ones that have more of a squarish shape are the Wellingtons. The ones that are more rounded off are the Bostons. Your old glasses are more square, I’d say. Anyway, try the ones Yuuko picked out, and let’s see.”

““Nah…””

“Wow, that was fast!”

Kenta tried on the Bostons, too, but those didn’t have that winning quality, either.

“You’re right, Saku, the glasses stand out way too much. They say, ‘I’m trying to stop being such an otaku, so I just bought black frames to look cooler.’”

“Right? Well, there’s only so much that can be done. But those won’t look good on me, either. My facial features are too delicate.”

I took the glasses from Kenta and tried them on as I spoke.

“…I take it back. They look good. Damn, I’m so hot I can pull off anything. I look like some tortured, genius artist.”

I took off the glasses and handed them to Yuuko. “Ooh! They look cute on me, too! I look like a young actress, secretly carrying on a clandestine relationship with you, Saku!”

“Can you two please stop?!” Kenta sighed, replacing the glasses Yuuko chose. “Look, I’ve been wanting to ask… Is there some reason I can’t just wear contacts? Usually guys who are trying to cast off their otaku pasts just switch to contacts…”

Kenta took off his old glasses and looked at us expectantly with his bare face.

“You know, I thought about it, too, but your face really needs some oomph to it. Glasses actually work in your favor. They’re a must-have fashion item, I’d say, at least in your case. They draw the eye, and the right frames make your bland face look ten times more interesting. But you’re lucky. You don’t have to jazz up your school uniform to look cool; you can get the same effect with a single piece of eyewear.”

“…I see. I’ve been wearing glasses since elementary school, but I’ve always hated them just ’cause they’re a sign that my eyesight is bad…”

“Then that’s all the more reason you should stick with glasses. They’re like one of your features now. I bet you’ve never even thought of them as a fashion accessory before, have you?”

As I was talking, I picked up a pair of glasses I’d noticed earlier.

“These are the ones I recommend. Round frames. See how circular they are?”

“What? No way… That’s totally out of his range! It makes him look like he’s trying too hard to be fashionable!”

Yuuko’s reaction was immediately negative, which rubbed off on Kenta.

“Er, are those even fashionable, though? They look like the ones worn by old literary masters…”

“Nope, unlike your weird cowboy-wannabe check-lined denim, these are what people with actual fashion sense wear. You’re not a hot, cool guy, unfortunately. You’re neither hot nor cool.”

“You don’t have to repeat yourself!”

“But you’ve fixed your hair and started to slim down, so there’s still hope for you. Your face is kind of plain, but it’s not unpleasant to look at. And I have more good news for you. These days, there’s such a thing as having ‘hot-guy aura.’”

“I thought that was, like, ironic. Like a joke.”

“Hmm, sometimes it can be used as an insult. But you see it all the time these days… A guy whose face is kinda ‘eh,’ but for some reason the girls all go crazy. Like those actors and musicians who other guys would call mediocre-looking, but they have girls going nuts over them. Let me give you a few examples…”

I proceeded to reel off a list of currently popular male celebrities.

“…Oh yeah, I’ve wondered why some of them are popular with girls. It’s like, with that face? Seriously? …It’s like if they had one bad haircut, they’d look like a total dork.”

Yuuko was offended. “Hey! I like all those guys! I don’t know what you’re talking about, either? Every one of them is handsome!”

“See, even a girl of Yuuko’s caliber is into them. I don’t get it personally, but eh. Anyway, what I’m saying is that we need to work on getting you to project a hot-guy aura.”

Kenta still didn’t look fully convinced.

“…And I need round glasses? For a hot-guy aura?”

“Precisely. If Yuuko and I, with our gorgeous faces, were to wear these glasses, it would be almost obnoxious. Like, look at us! We’re beautiful! We can wear dorky glasses just for the fun of it! But if a guy with plain features like you wears them, it looks kinda endearing. It’s also why I chose that hairstyle for you, with the unruly curls on top.”

I put the round-framed glasses on myself.

“…Ah, darn it! I’ve done it again! These look great on me, too! I look like an old literary master! Old-school cool! They should pay me to model these!”

I took off the glasses and handed them to Yuuko.

“…Whoa! It’s like, why? Why doesn’t this store just hire Saku and me for its promotional posters already? If we were the models, its profits would skyrocket!”

“You sure were right about it being obnoxious. I think we’re done here, thanks!”

All jokes aside, I returned the glasses to Kenta. “Go on, try them on.”

Nervously, Kenta put on the glasses. I noticed Yuuko’s eyebrows shooting up.

“Hmm… I’m not sure about this, you guys…”

I ignored him and spoke to Yuuko. “What’s the verdict?”

“…These work! These really work on you, Kentacchi! I actually had to do a little double take just then! Wow, Saku, you have the best eye for this kind of thing!”

Well, yeah. I had already been on the store’s website before coming so I could familiarize myself with their product lineup. Roundish, thin frames so as not to erase the benefits of his neutral features. But with a subtle tortoiseshell pattern to add a pop of style.

How could Kenta fail to be won over after being praised on his looks by the prettiest girl in the school? Still, he hesitated, shifting back and forth.

“King…are these really okay?”

“Yeah. At least, better than your old ones.”

I gave Kenta my best “I’m hot and I know it” grin.

“Seriously? You’ve gotten hooked on walking, and you want to start night running now? You’re choosing neon rainbow? You want to make sure you stand out in the dark? All right, Rudolph, why don’t you guide the sleigh tonight, then? All the other reindeer won’t be laughing now! Why don’t you go stand on the shore so passing ships can use your glow to navigate? You’ll be the star everyone’s wishing on now!”

“King…please, calm down…”

Once we put in our order at JINS, we were told that we were in luck. They had the right item in stock, so we only had to wait an hour to have them made up. In the meantime, we were at the shoe store, choosing new shoes for Kenta.

This time, Yuuko and I both remained silent at first and let Kenta choose whichever shoes he thought were cool. But once we saw what monstrosities he’d picked out, I hadn’t been able to stop myself from giving him a severe roasting.

“Don’t even think about buying something like that unless you’ve got the natural style needed to pull it off! No! Bad!”

“But I thought… I thought that might be good to have a little pizzazz… Mix things up a bit…” Kenta looked down at the sneakers in his hands, crestfallen.

“Those are too much for someone like you who’s a total newbie at fashion. I’ll explain this in detail while we’re picking clothes, but don’t fall into the trap of thinking that flashy equals fashionable. You need to rein it in, dude; you need to rein it all the way in.”

“But if I go too plain, won’t I just look dorky still?”

“No. Plain is good. For sneakers, you should go for some Adidas Stan Smiths, like the ones I’m wearing. Or the Adidas Superstars. You could also go for some Nike Air Force 1s, some Converse All Stars, or Converse One Stars. Or some New Balance 996s or Vans Authentics… All these are classics; they’ve been popular for decades for a reason. People have been wearing them for years, not just because of the brand name, but because they’ve stood the test of time. Try to memorize this advice. It goes for shoes, clothes, bags, wallets, watches, and all other accessories, too. Always go classic.”

“I’ve got so many pairs of All Stars, in different colors! They’re all the same design, just the colors and patterns are different. Today, my outfit is kinda showy, so I went neutral on the shoes. See? High-tops in off-white!”

Yuuko hiked her leg up in the air to show Kenta her sneakers.

“Yeah, and I’m on my third pair of Stan Smiths in a row. And I’ve got a few pairs of Authentics, in different colors and patterns, too.”

Kenta looked at our feet, his expression solemn.

“Oh, I see. Yes, now that you mention it, King, Yuuko, all your stuff seems to be brand staples… Can I have a few more minutes to browse?”

Kenta went off for a bit, then came back with a pair of New Balance M996s in navy.

I nodded in approval.

Kenta changed into his new shoes on the spot, and we picked up his completed glasses. Next, we headed to MUJI to pick out some tops and pants.

“Are you sure MUJI is the right place to go for clothes? I never really saw it as a clothing store…”

“Uniqlo might have worked, too. But Uniqlo has too much stuff with patterns and mascots. I don’t want to have to roast you again, dude. MUJI’s safer.”

“Is this related to what you said earlier, about flashy not always being fashionable?”

“You’re getting it, you’re getting it.” I picked up a plain white-linen button-down shirt. “Kenta, what do you think this is?”

“It looks like an organic cotton type of white shirt.”

“What do you think of it?”

“Uh… It’s nice. Simple. It’s not super cool or anything, but it definitely doesn’t look dorky at all.”

“So why not wear something like this? It’s already a million times better than your own dorky clothes.”

“Yeah, I know… But are you sure that’s the kind of thing I need?”

“That mindset of yours stems from fear. Fear of true fashion.”

I put the shirt back and went over to take a seat on one of the store’s display sofas. Yuuko sat down on my right, and Kenta sat down on my left.

“Fashion’s just another hobby, like hiking, cycling, reading, or video games. But if it doesn’t appeal to you, it doesn’t appeal. Can you ever see yourself getting excited about clothes in the same way as light novels or anime? No. Does hearing a hiker rave about the splendor of the mountains make you immediately want to become a hiker? No.”

“You’re right. I can’t see myself getting into fashion anytime soon.”

“Yuuko and Kazuki, now, they live for fashion. That’s where they spend their money, and they spend their time keeping up with all the latest trends. Yuuko, can you ever see yourself spending money on mobile games or anime merchandise like Kenta does?”

“Nope, no way!”

“…See? Your light novels make it sound like you’ve got to become a fashion maniac just to get a girl to look at you, but nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, yeah, fashionable guys tend to get extra points with the girls. But that’s just one factor, like being good at sports or being super well-read. To be frank, if you don’t see yourself getting into it as a hobby, then there’s no reason to focus on it that much.”

“B-but hold on… I’m confused. Didn’t you bring me shopping today to make me fashionable?”

I got up off the sofa and turned to face Kenta. Then I pointed my finger right between his eyes, like a home tutor imparting a very important lesson.

“Let’s break it down. In this world, you have your Yuukos, who love keeping up with the hottest clothes, bags, what have you, and planning outfit combinations. Then, you have your Kentas, who dress badly because they simply don’t care and don’t put any thought into their outfit combinations or even how well their clothes fit.”

Kenta nodded obediently.

“Now, it’s impossible to make one into the other. But what we can do is meet halfway. We can make you into someone who cares about his appearance and wants to show off a little personality without becoming a fashion slave or even having to spend that much time or money. Now, Kenta, take a good look at what I’m wearing and tell me what you see.”

Kenta looked me up and down. I know I told him to, but it sort of gave me the creeps to have him scrutinizing me this way.

“Huh. You’re actually not as fashionable as I thought…?”

“…Watch it, Kenta. For a second there, your head looked like a soccer ball just begging me to kick it. But you’re right. The truth is: I don’t care about clothes or fashion at all.”

Yuuko frowned, piping up. “He’s right. Saku never ever agrees to come shopping with me. He’s always like, ‘You look cute in anything, so just pick whatever.’ No interest whatsoever!”

…Oh, she already figured me out.

Incidentally, let’s discuss my outfit today. I was wearing my Adidas Stan Smiths, Gramicci jeans, a white Champion T-shirt with a chest pocket, and my G-SHOCK GWM5610 wristwatch with the black-and-white display. Plus, the same silver necklace and ring that I always wore. And my backpack, which I also used for school, the black Gregory one. That was all.

“And I didn’t dress down today for your benefit, Kenta. This is what I always wear, all year-round. Whatever the season, I usually wear some kind of hiking wear for pants, with a plain shirt or T-shirt or polo shirt and maybe a parka on top. My watch and jewelry are the only ones I own. And I didn’t choose them to look cool; I just happen to like silver accessories. Even if gold is more in fashion these days. See?”

“Huh. You wear your clothes like they’re super fashionable, so I just assumed they were… So you’re telling me I could dress like you, too?”

“Yes. All you have to do is pick out some basic pants and shirts. Look at me. Do I look dorky to you?”

“No, no, you look like a king… In fact, you’re so confident you just come off as being super well-dressed…”

“Ah yes, good answer, Kenta, good answer! You’ve summed up my aesthetic nicely. My goal is to make whatever I’m wearing look good, rather than relying on it to make me look good, if you follow me.”

I put my hands on my hips and puffed out my chest.

“So you don’t need to worry about choosing ‘cool’ or ‘stylish’ items of clothing. Just stick with a look you like. And since planning outfits doesn’t excite you, just pick basic, staple pieces that can all be mixed and matched to work together. If you pick classic pieces, then you can always buy the same ones again if they wear out, and stores will be less likely to stop selling them as fashion trends move on. I also recommend choosing good quality accessories that you can use for a long time and make them into your personal touchstones. That’s why it’s better to save your money for a really decent bag, wallet, and what have you.”

“I like that! I like that a lot! So I can look like a man of taste, right?”

“Right, right. What do you think, Yuuko?”

“Uh, I’m not sure… I’m not like you at all, Saku. I always want to be wearing something different. And I want to be the first one to wear all the new trends! I feel like every time I buy a new bag or shoes, I’m discovering a new side of myself. And I love spending ages getting dressed up to see you, Saku… Choosing something super cute and a little bit sexy, you know? But then I also love experimenting with more boyish, casual, cool styles when I hang out with Ucchi!”

That was Yuuko to a T.

“Right, well, that’s the thing about clothes. As Yuuko points out, they tell a story about who you are and who you want the world to see you as. There’s this fashion genre that’s super popular lately called normcore.”

Kenta furrowed his brow. “Normcore?”

“Yeah. You know how Steve Jobs was known for always wearing the same outfit? New Balance M992s, Levi’s 501s, and an Issey Miyake black turtleneck. And then there’s Mark Zuckerberg, who created Facebook. He always wears the same gray T-shirt. Those guys didn’t want to have to think about what to wear every day, so they gave themselves a uniform to free up thinking space for more important stuff. Kinda cool, right?”

“…Yeah, that does sound kinda cool.”

“Normcore is a portmanteau of the words normal and hardcore. It involves consciously choosing clothes that are functional and undistinguished. Now, I’m not saying you have to devote yourself to pursuing whatever the definition of ‘normal’ is…”

Like, yeah, sometimes a majority of people feel the same about something, but if you ask a bunch of people what normal is, you’ll get a ton of different answers.

“Personally, I like to stick to basic, staple pieces, but I also like mixing in relaxed athletic wear and cool accessories, too. And Yuuko’s style is influenced by her personality. To get a bit more extreme, if you really feel like punk is your personal style, Kenta, then I don’t have an issue with that. You need to decide for yourself what feels the most natural.”

“I see…”

“But you don’t have to have it all figured out from the beginning. Just tell me, what kind of clothes would you like to wear?”

Kenta looked back and forth between Yuuko and me in silence. I could practically see the gears turning in his head.

“Honestly, I don’t really want to stand out in the crowd. I’d prefer to look polished, rather than sloppy. Only, I don’t want it to be too obvious that I just walked into a store and picked up only white shirts and brown chino pants.”

“All right, Yuuko. Shall we do this, then?”

Yuuko bounced up off the sofa.

“All righty! I think I’ve got a good mental picture of what we’re aiming for! Do you feel comfortable leaving it up to us?”

“Y-yes. Thank you…”

Kenta stood up, facing Yuuko and nodding his head politely to her.

“Let’s go with button-down shirts. They’ll look good with the round frames Saku chose for you. They’ll make you look individualistic, like a liberal arts student! But we don’t want anything that wrinkles easily or looks too synthetic. Let’s go with organic cotton shirts. Maybe in navy, to match your sneakers.”

“Right, I wanted to ask about…how to choose colors?”

“Uh, if you stick with complementing colors, you should be okay. You don’t like anything too bright, right?”

“Nope. I can’t really see myself wearing anything red or, like, yellow…”

“Okay, then let’s stick to black, white, and navy. Any combination of those would look okay! You can’t go wrong with those. Oh, but no white pants. That will only make you look like a playboy. Anyway, Kentacchi, since your sneakers are navy, we can’t go with navy pants. We need some balance. Maybe black pants would be better?”

“Hold on a sec,” Kenta said, tapping down everything Yuuko was saying into the Notes app on his phone.

“But just remember not to wear the same color on the top and bottom. If you buy black, navy, and white tops, then the bottoms should be brown or khaki. We should probably start by choosing the pants, since our options there are limited.”

“I’ll leave the order up to you, Yuuko, but should I choose slim-fit pants or baggy ones?”

“Hmm… I think some looser pants, and maybe a more fitted top? Something with some stretch, for easy movement and a low-key kinda vibe. If you don’t have any specific preferences, I recommend pants that are tapered at the ankle. Shall we go see if we can find some?”

Yuuko led Kenta over to the pants section. I followed along behind.

“See, what about some of these?”

Yuuko picked up several pairs of pants off the rack and thrust them at Kenta.

“I think I like…the brown, the black, or the gray…”

“Oh, gray would be good! They’ll go nicely with your navy sneakers. And gray is so much more chill than white. And not many people go for gray pants, so your selection will look like a deliberate fashion choice! Now, what about shirts?”

Kenta went back over the notes he’d written in his phone.

“Er…maybe those organic-cotton button-down shirts you mentioned earlier? In navy!”

Yuuko nodded and went to grab some shirts.

“Okay, now it’s time to try them on!”

“What? No, I don’t think I need to do that. It’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Don’t be silly! You can maybe get away with buying tops without trying them, but pants absolutely must be tried on first! Now, hop to it!”

Yuuko grabbed Kenta’s hand and dragged him to the fitting rooms. Kenta had this look of awe on his face, as if he was thinking, I’ll never wash this hand again!

““Wow!””

Yuuko and I both gasped as Kenta emerged from the fitting room.

“What do you think?”

Kenta had the same nervous energy as a hamster that had been taken out of its cage. He looked himself up and down in the mirror, chewing his lip.

“Before we give our opinion, what do you think?”

“I feel…awkward. But I think I look kinda cool? Like, I could go to Starbucks in this outfit.”

“Yeah. All you need to do is lose a few more pounds, and you’ll have that hot-guy aura we’re after.”

“Wow, Kentacchi! You look totally cool! I’m not just saying that, either! You’re bound to find a nice girl now!”

Yuuko seemed really excited, for some reason.

“Oh, you’ve gotta wear it home! Excuse me! Staff person! He wants to wear this home! Can you ring us up? Oh, and can we get a bag for his school uniform?”

Yuuko marched over to the cash register, ignoring Kenta, who was still standing there looking awkward.

“All right, the only thing left is the bag. You’ve got that dumb junior high schooler bag with the long strap that hangs down to your butt. You still have money?”

“I was expecting us to buy more expensive stuff, so I actually still have around thirty thousand yen.”

“That should do it. If you like shoulder bags, though, you should go for something canvas. I think that would suit the hot-guy aura style you’re going for.”

I tapped around on my phone before showing Kenta a few pics I found online.

“They look good, but I was thinking of mixing it up a little…”

“In that case, why not choose athletic wear like me? It won’t look too dressy, so it’ll be a good match for your casual clothes. Plus, they’re practical and will last you a good while. For backpacks, I recommend the Arro by Arc’teryx, and if you want a combination backpack/shoulder bag, you should go for the Mystery Ranch’s Invader or the Outsider.”

I showed Kenta some more pics.

“Hmm. They all look good… But what’s this one with the little bird-type logo?”

“That’s the Arc’teryx symbol, the archaeopteryx. So you like that one? Let’s go and buy it after this, then.”

While we were talking, Yuuko finished paying with the money in Kenta’s ridiculous wallet. Somehow, she made that awful thing look stylish in her hand, like a studded Gucci purse.

She handed the wallet to Kenta and jumped right into our conversation, like she’d been listening to us.

“Hey, let’s go to Starbucks first! Why not? This is where you’ll be meeting your old friends again, right? Let’s go and do a practice run!”

“Sounds good. We can role-play, see how it might go.”

By the way, I know Starbucks is just another coffee chain in the big cities, but in Fukui, Starbucks is the place for high school kids to gather and flex on each other. Things have relaxed a bit recently, but not so long ago, it was the kind of place where only popular kids had the required level of social privilege to be seen drinking coffee there.

“Oh, then let me buy you both coffees, to say thanks.” Kenta jumped right in with the offer.

“There’s no need to thank us. I’m doing this for my good-guy optics.”

“He’s right, Kentacchi. Today was fun! You don’t need to make up for anything!”

“Oh…you guys…”

“But since you offered, I’ll have a matcha Frappuccino, with extra chocolate chips and extra whip cream. And an apple crumble pie.”

“And I’ll have a Starbucks latte with an extra shot of espresso and a clubhouse sandwich. You got enough to cover that, Kenta?”

“…Is it too late for me to rescind my offer?”

“Hey, you wanted to thank us, right? Consider us thanked!”

“Right, right!”

“You guys are always bustin’ my balls!!!”

At the counter, Kenta flubbed his words and asked for a “ground” latte instead of a grande. I offered to take over and order everything myself with his wallet, but Kenta blanched at that. Eventually, we made it to a table with our food and coffees.

“So have you made any plans to meet your old friends yet?”

“Yes. Saturday, two weeks from now. The first day of Golden Week vacation. But…to be honest…I’m scared. Until I met you guys, they were the most popular kids I’d ever spent any time with. Look, this is what happened when I messaged Miki on LINE…”

Kenta opened up his LINE app chat to show us.

I see, I see. Not a very nice response, now, was it?

“I’m already feeling down about the prospect of meeting them… By the way, Ren is Miki’s boyfriend. And Hayato’s the other guy in the group. I’d really prefer to meet Miki alone, but I guess they all want to have a good laugh at me…”

Ren and Hayato. They already sounded like good-looking guys. I pictured them outperforming Kenta in every way.

Yuuko slurped down some of her matcha Frappuccino with her straw.

“I don’t really know the situation, but what do you want to do, Kentacchi? Do you wanna walk in there and give them all a good slap in the face?”

“Of course not! Nothing so dramatic. I just want Miki to think to herself…you know…‘Maybe I made a mistake.’ That’s all. If I could just make her regret how she treated me, that would be more than enough…”

“Oh really? I thought you were going to invite Miki to duke it out on the banks of the riverbed. Mano a mano, y’know?”

I remembered someone saying something like that recently…

“If all you want to do is make Miki regret her words, then that should be easy! Excuse me! Barista? Would you mind taking a photo for us?”

Yuuko flagged down a passing barista and handed over her phone. Then she went to stand behind Kenta, who was on the other side of the table. I went to go sit down next to him, immediately figuring out what she was up to.

I hunched down a bit and put my arm around Kenta, and Yuuko put her hands on Kenta’s head, before placing her chin on top of her hands.

“…Wh-whoa! A photo?” Kenta was taken aback and hadn’t processed what was going on yet.

“Just relax! Okay, we’re ready!”

Flash, flash.

Yuuko asked the barista to take two shots, just in case. Then she retrieved her phone and scrutinized the photos. “All good. Thanks so much!” The barista smiled and walked off.

“Look, look, Kentacchi!”

Yuuko put her arms around Kenta’s head from behind to show him her phone screen.

I was prepared to jam my straw right up his nostril if he dared take advantage of this and lean his head back.

“Is this…really me?”

“Yep, it’s you, Kentacchi! What do you think?”

“I hope you guys don’t get offended if I say this, but…I look kinda like I actually…belong? With you?”

“You know, when we first met you, you were sooo snotty and mean to us both! I thought you were a total stain on society, a lazy pig who—”

“Yuuko, stop. I know, I know. I admit to it all. But please don’t say any more… I’ll be crushed if you do.”

“But now…you really do look like one of our group. You should work on your smile, though, and you still need to keep up your diet. But you could totally be the plain-looking guy in the popular group who has the hot-guy aura!”

Yuuko threw him a peace sign.

“Anyway, yep, you really do look like you belong standing alongside Saku and me! So no problem. But you know, our support can only take you so far. You’re gonna have to do the rest yourself.”

Then Yuuko patted Kenta’s head.

“But…I had no idea changing would be this easy. I’ve barely done anything except come back to school…”

“That’s not true at all.” I shook my head. “You made the decision to come back to school, and you worked hard to get along with everyone and keep up your diet. Now you’ve even got new hair and a whole new wardrobe. Of course, this isn’t enough to become truly popular. But you’ve made great steps, Kenta. The future looks bright.”

“Do…do you really think so?”

I grinned. “Listen, Kenta. What’s the most important thing when it comes to making a change?”

“Er…having friends to rely on, like you and Yuuko?”

“That’s only one part of it. The answer I was looking for is: ‘willpower.’ You’ve got to have that determination to do it, no matter what setbacks come your way. And never give up. You approach it like that, and success is assured, no matter how long it takes. Skills come with practice, but motivation is something you have to find for yourself.”

“I think I’m starting to understand. I guess I just have to keep doing my best, right?”

I grinned wider.

“Right. If you keep going, you’ll become who you want to be at some point. That’s all there is to it… Simple, right?”

Kenta nodded vigorously.

“I’ll keep running every day, for the next two weeks! I’ll make sure to rise above those jerks in my otaku group! I’ll do it for you, King…and you, Yuuko…and for Uchida, and Mizushino, and Asano, and Nanase, and Aomi…to honor your assistance! And because…because…”

Kenta trailed off, seemingly having difficulty getting the words out. He took a deep breath, then whispered it.

“Because you’re my friends.”

“If you’re gonna say it, then say it. Otherwise, it’s just weird.”

“Yeah, that was very lame of you, Kentacchi!”

“Sorry, sorry; forget I said anything!”

Ah, I love messing with him.