Chivalry of a Failed Knight Vol. 1

“WHOOOOOOOOOOAAA?!” Stella and the rest of the class gasped in shock at the shameless kiss.

“Oh my God! What is going on here, Ikki?!” Stella couldn’t hold back her confusion.

“I-I-I don’t have the slightest idea!” Ikki was the most shocked out of everyone present after being kissed on the lips by his own little sister. Flustered, he tore her hand away from his face.

“Shizuku?! Wh-What did you just…?!”

“I’m simply kissing my beloved brother,” she said nonchalantly.

“I know what a kiss is, okay?! That’s why this is so weird! But that’s not what I was asking! I was asking why you did that!”

“No matter what the purpose, kissing is, at its heart, a show of affection. If people connected by flimsy ‘romantic’ love can kiss, then it’s natural for two people with the same blood—the same DNA—and who share a much greater bond to do the same. In fact, it would be stranger if we didn’t. Besides, kissing is like a greeting in foreign countries.”

“I-It is? Is that true, Stella?”

“Hell no, it isn’t!” Stella asserted. “Nobody kisses on the mouth as a greeting! Don’t just let this happen! Tell me, do any of you kiss your siblings?!”

“Nope.”

“Not me!”

“Just thinking about it makes me wanna puke.”

Nobody in the crowd agreed with Shizuku’s claim.

“There you have it,” Ikki said. “Majority rules, and they say you’re wrong.”

“Teehee. There’s nothing wrong about it, Big Brother. What we do is for us to decide. Their relationships with their siblings must be as cold and desolate as the tundra. Truly, we live in a depraved world. It’s my belief that a kiss is far too little to make up for these four long years; for us, sexual intercourse itself would be little more than a greeting.”

“Please, stop!”

Everyone shouted in terror. On the first day of their first semester, the new students had already found something to bond over: shared trauma.

“Shizuku, please. D-Do you even hear what you’re saying?! Y-Young women like you shouldn’t be talking about s-sex so casually.”

“Teehee, I’m only joking. Look how red your face is. You’re adorable, Big Brother.”

Ikki broke into a cold sweat at the sound of her admittedly bewitching giggles.

Wh-Who even is this? The Shizuku I remember was so timid that she would never do something like this. Where did it all go so wrong?

“Putting all that silliness aside, Big Brother, why don’t we get to know each other’s bodies a little better?” Her arms coiled around Ikki’s neck again, like white snakes. Ever since she had entered the classroom, her eyes never strayed from him. “You have no idea just how long these four years have been.”

“Ah…”

Her soft, pink lips began to approach him again, ready to steal another kiss.

No, no, no. I can’t let this go any further. This isn’t how a big brother should be.

Ikki knew as much, but he couldn’t move. It was as if he was locked within her green eyes, unable to escape. Their lips nearly met again—

“Stooooop!”

Stella shouted as she pried them apart. “Get a hold of yourself, Ikki! Don’t just stand there and enjoy it!”

“S-Sorry! Thank you!”

“What do you think you’re doing?” Shizuku finally shifted her eyes to a different target, as if boasting that she had only just noticed Stella for the first time.

“That’s what I should be asking you! What are you doing to Ikki?!”

“Are you talking about the kiss?”

“D-Duh! What else would I be talking about?!”

“To put it bluntly,” Shizuku sighed, “what I want to do with my brother is my decision.”

“Ikki, your sister is a weirdo! I thought you said you were ‘normal, blood-related siblings’!”

“I’m just as surprised as you are. Look at me, I’m shaking.”

“You seem awfully interested in getting between my brother and me,” Shizuku piped up. “I take it you’re the famed Princess Stella. Tell me, why would someone like you try to barge in on two commoners’ reunion?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I supposed to sit back and watch while you two take part in this weird, X-rated sibling reunion?!”

“Like I said before, that’s for us to decide. You’re not involved in our family.”

“That’s not something family does to each other! Ever heard of common sense?”

“You’re annoying, I’ll give you that. Okay, let’s assume I completely lack common sense and it’s strange for a girl to kiss her brother. What does that have to do with you, Princess?”

“Ngh.”

“This is between me and my brother. It has nothing to do with you, you backwater princess, so stay out of it.”

Stella recoiled at her bluntness. True, it wasn’t exactly her business; it was Ikki’s job to deal with his little sister, who had more than a few screws loose. She had no reason to interfere, and yet…

“Big Brother, people will only bother us here. Why don’t we find a quiet, secluded place to make up for these past four years?”

She doesn’t seem like much of a “little sister” to me. Stella couldn’t overlook Ikki’s little sister’s overt attempts to get him alone together and do God-knows-what. She steeled herself for what was to come. “It does have something to do with me,” she murmured, her face already a deep red, “so I can’t just stand around and watch while you kiss Ikki!”

“Huh?!” Ikki gasped in shock. Stella had just admitted that she didn’t want him to kiss other girls.

Does that mean… she likes me?

“Ikki is my one and only master! I can’t have my master being an incestuous lecher who’s unfit for modern society!”

“That’s the problem?!”

“This is one juicy scandal!” Kagami couldn’t contain her excitement. “Our very first issue’s headline will be ‘Struggle in My Arms! A Princess Servant in Bondage and Her Savage Roommate!’”

“Wow! I always thought Kurogane looked more like an M.”

“Guess he’s more of a secret alpha.”

“And the princess is his servant? He’s next-level! Maybe they’re into corruption play?”

The crowd started whispering amongst themselves.

Great. Thanks to Stella, this is getting even worse, Ikki thought.

“C-Come on, Stella! You can’t just say that in front of people!”

“B-But it’s true. After you beat me in that all-or-nothing battle, I was forced to entrust to you my body and soul. You and I have become one. To say I have nothing to do with this is foolish! And isn’t it a servant’s duty to lead her master down the path of righteousness?”

“Didn’t we say we were going to forget about that?!”

“We mustn’t! My pride as a princess won’t allow it. You gave me an order, remember? ‘You and I must share a bed.’”

“I don’t talk like that! And it was nowhere near that sexually charged!”

“But it’s not that different from what you said!”

“I guess it’s not,” Ikki groaned.

“Is that true?” That voice stabbed at him like an icicle, sending a chill through his body and seemingly freezing the blood in his veins. Her previous flirtatiousness was gone, replaced with complete emotionlessness. Shizuku had become an ice queen. “Is it true, or is it not?”

Scary…

“Big Brother? I’m asking you a question.”

Ikki knew that refusing was the only way to make it out alive, but unfortunately, it was the truth.

“W-Well, she made it sound worse than it is, but yeah, I guess it’s true for the most part.”

Ikki, honest to a fault, could only admit the truth. But in the grand scheme of things, the honest don’t live long.

“Hmm. Really, now? Heh. Heehee.”

“Shizuku?”

“Liar.” Shizuku’s eyes narrowed as she laughed, sending a chill down Ikki’s spine. “Why would you lie to me, Big Brother? I can’t think of a single reason; after all, you would never willingly hurt your little sister. You would never say something that would cut so deep.”

“U-Uh, Shizuku?”

“I see how it is. This woman is taking advantage of you, forcing you to follow her around like a dog. You lied because you wanted to keep me safe. Yes, of course that’s what’s going on. There’s no other possibility. It’s the only logical conclusion.”

“No, just let me talk—”

“How I pity you, Big Brother. How you disgust me, Princess. This is exactly why I didn’t want him leaving the family. He’s just so handsome, so charming. It’s not his fault these huge-chested bimbo succubi all flock to him.”

“Shizuku, please! Just calm down and let’s talk this out.”

“No, Big Brother. It’s not your fault; I can’t blame you for this. You’re such a wonderful boy—too wonderful, even. It’s all her fault. It’s all her fault. It’s all her fault. But I will free you from your chains. Shower me, Yoishigure!”

“Sh-Shizuku?! Cut it out! You can’t do that! Put your Device away and just listen to me! She’s not ‘taking advantage of’—Are you even listening?!” Ikki rattled on like a madman in hopes of calming his sister, who had materialized her Device: a shortsword.

“Oh, please, Big Brother. I hear every word you say. Do you think I would ever let so much as a sound that comes from your mouth pass me by? That’s less likely than the world’s rotation suddenly changing direction. Ahaha! Oh, you are funny, Big Brother. Don’t worry; she can’t beat me. I may be only the second-best new student and a Rank B, but my affinity is water—fire’s natural predator. I do appreciate your concern, though. I love you, Big Brother.”

“You’re obviously not listening! You didn’t even respond to what I said!”

“Serve my will, Lævateinn!” Stella shouted, summoning her Device.

“Stella, stop encouraging her!”

“Sorry, Ikki, but I don’t have it in me to be gentle and compassionate toward someone who’s pointing their Device at me. If you want me, come at me!”

Neither Stella nor Shizuku seemed to see Ikki standing right in front of them. Their eyes, ruby and emerald, were fixed solely on the enemy. Ikki’s pleading wouldn’t be able to stop them; they didn’t want to stop. Their hearts were screaming, Crush the girl who stands before you.

“Okay, everyone! Get in the hallway! If you don’t, you’re as good as dead!” Kagami had already started evacuating the class. That’s a journalist for you—always the first to act.

With the evacuation complete, the two girls glared at each other.

“Quite the tiny weapon you have there,” Stella quipped. “It matches your chest.”

“Funny,” Shizuku replied. “Your weapon suits you, too. A woman whose weapon and breasts are both needlessly large. I can hardly tell the two apart.”

“I can’t stand listening to jealous girls like you. I’m willing to forgive you, though; my heart is as big as my breasts, you see.”

“…Fatty.”

Ikki could swear he heard Stella snap.

Uh-oh. This is gonna get ugly. Realizing that catastrophe was unavoidable, he shrugged his shoulders and stepped into the hallway.

“I’ll kill yooou!” Stella roared.

It didn’t take long for the battle between these two Blazers to blow the first-year classroom to smithereens.

◆◆◆

The destruction of the classroom was, of course, not without consequence. After some deliberation amongst the teachers, both perpetrators were sentenced to a week of house arrest. They were effectively suspended, something nobody had expected of the top two new students on the first day.

The entire student body knew about the scandal thanks to Kagami’s newspaper. As a result, however, Struggle in My Arms! A Princess Servant in Bondage and Her Savage Roommate! wasn’t published, so Ikki at least had that going for him.

“She wasn’t like this before.” That was the most shocking thing of all. Ikki couldn’t stop sighing even after returning to his room that night.

Long ago, she was a timid, easily-embarrassed girl. She was reserved and obedient, joining Ikki in everything he did but hiding behind him whenever she did something embarrassing. What went so wrong to make her like… that?

“Looked to me like you were having fun,” came Stella’s voice, her mood soured by her punishment. “Maybe you weren’t as bothered by it as you’d like me to believe.”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Yuh-huh. If I hadn’t pulled her away, you two would’ve kissed again.”

Gulp. She was right; if Stella hadn’t jumped in, Shizuku would have stolen another kiss.

“B-But it’s not like I sat there because I wanted to kiss her. I was just so overwhelmed by how much she’s grown as a woman.”

“So you were just taken by how beautiful your little sister became after four years?”

“No, I just—”

To Ikki, Shizuku was just his little sister. He had never thought of her as anything more; the idea didn’t even occur to him. That was the absolute truth. But after seeing her for the first time in four years—her feverish eyes, her blushing cheeks, her lips that just begged for him—could he really deny how he felt?

“…Maybe, yeah,” he admitted.

“Sister-lover.”

“Urk!”

“Lecher.”

“Aww… I have nothing to say for myself.”

What the hell? Am I just starved for affection? Even if I haven’t seen her in four years, being attracted to my sister is just…

“Where are you going?” Stella asked as he walked away.

“I’m gonna cool my head with a quick bath.”

There had been too many shocks for him in one day. The best thing for him was to take a bath and go to bed.

◆◆◆

“So stupid…” After Ikki left for the bathroom, Stella sulked in solitude.

“Maybe, yeah”? Seriously? Why not just say no? Besides, who considers his sister an option? This is so stupid. I hate even thinking about it.

“He even called me beautiful.” He was the one who’d said he wanted to get to know her better, even going as far as asking to be roommates. Why hadn’t he made a move yet?

At the very least, she was ready for it to happen. She woke up before Ikki every morning, tidying up her bed head so he wouldn’t see it. Every night, she lay in wait in case he decided to attempt the legendary Japanese custom in which men sneak into unmarried women’s rooms for spontaneous—albeit consensual—sex.

Not that I’m hoping he’ll do it or anything! If he did, I would reject him! I would reject him so hard; a proper princess would never have premarital sex! But…

“You called an unmarried girl beautiful! You said you wanted to get to know her better!” Stella couldn’t bear being neglected for so long. What was his goal when he spouted such provocative lines? She had taken the bait, so where was her reward? She couldn’t help but want an explanation. Then, all it took was a kiss—from his little sister, of all people—to have him head over heels. “Ugh, God! What an idiot! Just go die, stupid sister-lover!”

Stella started to cry as she yelled and punched her pillow. Did that mean Ikki had no interest in her as a woman? Maybe she wasn’t his type; if he liked Shizuku, it must have been because of her size or something.

That would be a problem. Stella wasn’t especially tall, but she couldn’t do anything about her generous proportions. She had taken pride in them before, but if Ikki’s incestuous nature had morphed into some obsession with petite girls, his tastes would be incompatible with her body. Stella couldn’t accept that. It was too much.

“All right.”

Rather than moping, she steeled her resolve.

◆◆◆

“Sister-lover”.

“Uuugh.” As Ikki sunk into the bathtub, so too did his emotional state at the thought of Stella’s disapproval. “I bet she hates me now.”

“Lecher.”

“Aaargh.”

Was there any man in the world who wouldn’t be discouraged by a younger woman calling him a pervert? It honestly stung, especially coming from Stella. As a knight, Ikki had great respect for her. She had so much natural talent, but she always aimed for greater heights, never relying on that talent alone. He wasn’t sure he would share that drive were he in the same position.

Of course, he also found her incredibly charming. His appreciation for her as both a knight and a woman made her disdain that much more painful. He knew he had to set things straight.

“I’ll talk to Shizuku about it tomorrow.”

Clearing the air with Stella was important too, but Shizuku wasn’t a little girl anymore; she couldn’t get away with doing things like that. He had to reprimand her for her actions. For someone who grew to be so cute, it would be a shame if she missed out on a real romantic relationship because she was into her brother. Surely, Shizuku would see that as a problem. Ikki had finally made up his mind when…

“I-I’m coming in.”

…Stella barged into the tiny bathroom, wearing only a bikini.

What the heck? There’s something very, very strange going on here. Something seemed really out of place, like seeing a shark in your swimming pool. Oh, that’s it! The bikini is the strange part. This is a bathroom. Who wears a bikini in the bathroom? It’s just not civilized.

Ikki decided he ought to get her a towel—

“Wait, wait, wait! That’s not it at all! I mean, that’s weird too, but still! There’s a much more important question here! Stella, why are you in the bathroom when I’m bathing?! What’s even going on here?!” Ikki’s world had been turned upside-down by the sudden, bizarre development.

“Wh-What? It’s not that strange, is it?”

“It sure is! When would it not be strange?! Now, why?! Seriously, why?! Why are you in the bathroom, wearing a bikini, while I’m bathing?!”

“Y-You really don’t know why?”

“I don’t have the slightest idea!”

“I… I was just going to help you wash up.”

His mind was unsteady and he started getting dizzy.

I’ve gone absolutely bonkers. Ikki must have been hearing things. Stella, helping me wash up? Hahaha, yeah, right. Are we in some sort of porn game?

“Sorry, Stella. I think I lost my mind for a minute there and completely misheard that. Could you run it by me again?”

“Well, you know. I’m like your servant, right? Washing her master’s back is… a servant’s duty, isn’t it?”

“For real? Servants have it tough.”

He paused for a moment, then the realization hit him.

“Hey, waaaait a second! I never asked for this!”

“Only the best take initiative. B-Besides, even Hideyoshi warmed up Nobunaga’s footwear for him without being asked! That’s just how it is!”

“What are you even talking about?!”

“It doesn’t matter! This is my duty as your servant, so just come over here and sit down!”

“I’m not doing that, and I’m definitely not letting you do this, either! Cool it with the weird master-servant stuff, already! Both you and Shizuku must have lost your sense of virtue or something!”

“Just sit over here and let me do it! If you don’t—” Stella’s hair started to glow as she paused. “I’ll boil you instead!”

She was clearly serious about it.

◆◆◆

Rub, rub.

Stella, princess of the Vermillion Empire, was on her knees in a bikini, washing Ikki’s nearly-naked body. Given the turn of events, he couldn’t say for sure that he hadn’t gone crazy.

Maybe I’ve been crazy for a long time, he thought. Or maybe that’s just what I want to think.

“Seriously, though, starting tomorrow, we’re never doing anything like this again. You promised, remember?”

“Y-Yeah, I know. Besides, i-it’s not like I’m doing this because I want to. I’m simply required to because I lost our duel and became your servant.”

Just don’t do it, then, Ikki thought. There wasn’t any point in saying it, though; he’d already tried.

According to Stella, it was her duty as a servant, she had demanded the deal herself, she wouldn’t feel better unless she did it at least once, blah, blah, blah. Ikki didn’t understand her feelings in the slightest. For starters, she was the one who made it about her pride as a member of the royal family. Whenever the topic was brought up, she wouldn’t let him hear the end of it.

I just have to make it through today. Persevere for now, then forget all about it after! Ikki encouraged himself as Stella washed his body.

“…”

Still, he was captivated by the bikini-clad girl in front of him. His mind was telling him no, but his heart was telling him to look. Pretending to look away, he stole a glance at her in an attempt to fool his mind.

She was far more exposed than when they had first met, when she was in her underwear. Though he usually didn’t take notice of her attractiveness, Ikki could see nearly her entire body—her long, slender neck, the shadows cast by her prominent bones, the small of her back, and all the way down her legs. And the most diabolical of them all: her chest.

Stella’s breasts were practically spilling out of her bikini top. The melons that hung from her chest, insisting upon making themselves known even in her school uniform, moved and bobbed with every move she made. Each time they did, a burning thirst accompanied the feeling of blood rushing to his head.

This is… too much… He couldn’t look away or even close his eyes. Ikki was much more serious and austere than most, but he was still a healthy sixteen-year-old boy. When faced with such an attractive girl only a year younger than him, he couldn’t not notice her. Taking advantage of Stella’s blissful unawareness, he kept stealing glances at every nook and cranny of her seductive body. She really is beautiful.

Ikki was interested in her womanly charm, of course, but also her abilities as a knight. Her supple body concealed powerful, flexible muscles in such a way that they didn’t interfere with her feminine beauty, but he knew they were there.

He also began to understand just how much she had put herself through to tone those muscles. Her willpower burned like a raging fire, unhindered by her incredible natural talent. Stella’s body was like a work of art, her very soul engraved into it.

So… So beautiful… Ikki had never been so taken by a woman’s body, and he had never wanted so badly to feel hers. Of course, he knew he would never be able to. Meanwhile…

He won’t stop staring at me… Stella had noticed what Ikki was doing. A woman often knows what a man is thinking when she notices his gaze. One might call it a woman’s sixth sense; an organ that doesn’t exist in men warning her of his gawking and declaring, “He’s seriously staring at me!”

“Haah…”

When she became conscious of his leering, her body grew hotter, as if she were suffering from a fever. His eyes crept from her neck down to her collarbone, continuing to her breasts, her navel, even her rear. As they moved, she felt a vague aching in each of those regions.

This is so embarrassing… I can’t even think straight.

But she didn’t yell at him. In fact, she was relieved. Ikki’s ogling was proof that he wasn’t put off by her body. In fact, it might even mean that he had some slight interest… maybe. He was reacting to her body in much the same way she had reacted to his, which made her smile in relief. She was still in the running. His little sister hadn’t won yet!

“I’ll, um… get your back next.”

Finished with the front of his upper body, Stella moved behind Ikki. She wasn’t mentally prepared to put her hands on his lower body. It was far, far, faaar too early for that.

“S-Sure. Thanks.”

Ikki refused to mention that she’d skipped his lower body. Rather, if she had asked him to remove his towel, he was prepared to destroy anything in his path to make his escape.

All that’s left is my back. After that, it’s all over…

It was a lot easier for him once he could no longer see Stella. He felt a similar itch as she scrubbed his back, but it was nowhere near as bad as having his chest and abs groped. He was going to be okay. Finally, there was a light at the end of the bizarre, trying tunnel. Once it was over, he could forget about everything that had happened once and for all. He would never speak or think of the day’s events ever again. He was ready to completely repress the memory of it. As soon as he finalized his decision…

“Hey, Ikki,” Stella asked from behind him, her voice as quiet as a mouse.

“Yeah?”

“There’s, um… something I want to ask you about. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Go for it.”

“Do you, uh… like women’s breasts?”

“Huh?!” That question struck him like a hammer clean to the back of his head. “Wh-Wh-Wh-Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?”

“You were just… looking at them a lot, so…”

NOOOOOOOOOO! She saw me?! Even though I wasn’t looking directly at them?! I wanna disappear. I wanna die. Do not stand at my grave and weep.

“S-Sorry! I knew I shouldn’t have been looking at them! I just…”

“Y-You don’t have to apologize. Just answer my question.”

Her question… “Do you like women’s breasts?”

Ikki would have rather prostrated himself than answer a question like that. Being forced to expose his kinks to a girl must have been some sort of cruel and unusual punishment.

Things had taken a turn for the worse; it was a heartless tragedy. Had he angered some vengeful god? He groaned in distress, for there was no escape. He could only resign to his fate.

“Yeah, kinda,” Ikki replied as if he had to force the words out of his mouth.

“…Huh.”

…

……

………

Say something, at least! he screamed internally.

“Uh, Stella?” Ikki spoke, trying not to drown in the thick silence.

Boing.

Suddenly, he felt two things press against his back, firmer than the sponge but far softer than her hands. The shock of that sudden sensation ran up his back, jolting his brain and sending sparks flying through his mind. Though his incredible vision wasn't enough for him to see what she was doing from within his blind spot, he still clearly understood the cause of it.

“S-Stella…?”

Before he could ask why she had done that, Stella had already leaped out of the bathroom at lightning speed. From what Ikki saw of her face, she was beet red.

“Wh-Whaaaat?!”

It was hard to explain away all of Shizuku’s and Stella’s bizarre acts with just “men and women are worlds apart”. Things had gotten to the point where Ikki couldn’t comprehend a single thing that had happened all day. All he knew for sure was that he would never, ever forget what he’d just felt.